


Caramel Skin Under A Purple Rain

by Ashratherose



Series: Caramel Sundae [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Bottom Lance, Breeding, Comas - Freeform, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Idiot accidental husband's make a baby, Knotting, Lance turns 24 while Keith turns 26, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Mpreg, My computer died so I can’t edit. We die like men, Part 2, Past Rape, Rejecting reality, Top Keith, Torture, Whump Keith, allergic reactions, good big brother shiro, hurt keith, if you read part one things would probably make much more sense, long distance blues, mental issues, oblivious keith, over compensation, pining lance, pregnant lance, sexy times at the outpost, tw, unconventional omega lance, whump lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-01-16 09:37:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 63
Words: 434,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21268937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: Set approximately 6 phoebs after CSUARAGC, Lance knew setting up the outpost would be hard work. Between trying to fix his physical health, juggling his "condition", run an outpost and keep up with his husband who's always working, he's falling apart all over again.Keith keeps missing things. He misses Lance. He misses waking up with his husband. Falling asleep with his husband. Cuddling his husband... But somehow even though they love each other, Lance has thrown his walls up all over again, and he has no idea what he's done wrong.Aka: Lance and Keith's family is about to grow bigger and our idiots are having enough trouble juggling work and their love life as it is. Ft softest Keith and done with everything Lance





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ya'll know, I loathe time skips... so here we have chapter one of world setting, in preparation for all the smexy times ahead. Those of us with depression know how easy it is to focus on all the pain and negative things happening. While Lance may be quite upset, there will be flashback's mentions of more happier times during his the lead up to his heat.
> 
> Also. Outpost time is 1.5 quintants to one standard quintant.  
Basically 2 days to Keith is 3 days to Lance for the most part.

Lance's first heat was a washout. He'd laboured no illusions that turning the outpost into the kind of place he dreamed of wouldn't be anything other than hard work, but between the hard work and the calls for assistance, he'd relapsed into his old ways so hard that he was ashamed of himself. He'd barely lasted the first two movements before lashing out and hurting himself due to the frustrations and limitations of his job, and his promise not to take the worst of missions on hadn't helped his mental health. An emergency rescue mission they'd taken on had been due to a volcanic eruption mid-monsoon season, a completely ridiculous series of events that lead to half of the planet's nomadic tribes dislocated due to the lava rains and ash clouds blackening the sky. They'd all been soaked to the bone, and many of the refugees they'd brought back to outpost were ill with their planet's form of the flu. Sick from withdrawal, anxious from a lack of Keith, overwhelmed by not being able to help everyone all at once, it all piled up against him and his immune system, leaving him seriously ill right before his heat decided to show up out of nowhere and leave him bedridden for a movement and a half on Erathus because nowhere else carried a cure for that particular strain of flu. Or, at least he thought he'd had his heat. He'd had to be sedated and intubated, leaving him losing time once again and disorientated from the overwhelming smells of the hospital. 

He was feeling so emotionally compromised and awful from the flu, that when his period had come and decided to be on par with miscarriage, he chalked the extra misery up to his crazed hormones while cursing the universe for the following two weeks. Coran had visited him while he'd been hospitalised. The man a godsend as he stroked his hair, replaced his heat pack and let him vent his emotions. With Coran so readily able to make friends, he'd done some gentle enquiring with the hospital staff on Lance's behalf as his listed next of kin, after Keith, and found a solution for how to safely wean Lance from the gold pain relief solution. A process he was supposed to have gone through after being hospitalised by Klearo, only he'd never gone back for his follow up appointments due to how deeply ashamed he was of what had happened, and due to the feeling that anyone he did spend time with would be corrupted by his filthy body and soul.

By the end of the first 6 movements, outpost time, he was miserable. His marks were now almost always on his face as a constant reminder of Allura, who'd he'd started hallucinating again while in hospital. Keith was on training missions with the Blades. He'd had time to have dropped by during the two movements between missions. It would have been their first time seeing each other face to face after their separation after just a handful of precious quintants into the years New Years, yet with how contagious the flu had been, Lance had been forced to ask Daehra to keep Keith away from the outpost, and Erathus, to ensure his husband didn't manage to miraculously catch the bug despite hospital protocol. Now his husband was on a second mission, this one a phoeb long training new Blade recruits in the field because some Galra arsehole of a general decided to get all uppity. 

Trying to appear happy was only making him feel worse. He'd been forced to hold his tongue when he'd been ill, and he'd been forced to ask Lucteal, who'd been hospitalised with a broken ankle, to take his communicator away so he didn't abuse Keith for missing his heat and for not being there to take care of him, because Keith wasn't in the wrong. He hadn't done anything wrong at all. It was cruel of him to want to project his fears onto his precious husband. He knew Keith wanted to be there with him. He knew if he let him, his husband would have been there in a heartbeat. But Lance couldn't risk infecting the whole of the Blades simply because he was feeling weak without Keith, so he'd stayed in hospital, healed, and now had new twice-daily injections that would last for the next three phoebs. Given they were to help detox, Lance couldn't help but wonder if he was simply swapping from one addictive substance to another. The injections didn't provide the same high. They didn't supply him with that sudden rush of life, or quieten his busy mind. His poor therapist was stuck talking to him every movement, while his poor team were stuck with him dragging them from job to job. Sometimes it was apprehending someone, but for the most part, he was playing galactic taxi or delivery boy. It wasn't like he wasn't enjoying helping people, it was simply that without Keith there, it felt as if the precious thing they'd been building would crumble away. They talked as often as they could, and more often than not Keith would message him shortly before he woke to tell him he loved and missed him. But Dios... it was hard. It was so fucking hard.

Before he'd known it, he was into his third phoeb living at the outpost with Keith having only been there for two movements of broken time. He was simply too busy. His husband missed him, yet lately, all they'd really talked about were the new Blade recruits. Initially, it'd been fun. Keith had asked him for ideas on how to bring them together and how to breed trust. It'd pulled him out of his flunk, as he'd felt proud to be able to support his husband. Lance had finally started finding his feet again. Things had finally started to settle and he'd started reminding himself more and more often not to self-harm and to eat because Keith would be hurt if he continued to spiral. It wasn't the healthiest of excuses. He knew it wasn't, but the thought of hurting Keith was the one thought that scared him shitless. He'd promised his husband he'd work hard on himself and talk to him about how he felt. It wasn't either of their faults that the Blades conducted secret missions where communication was impossible. So, when they finally did have time together, Lance wanted to spend every tick of every varga relaxing around their home with Keith. Their room had slowly come together, the majority of Keith's belongings moving from Daibazaal to their room. He still kept a basic kit on Daibazaal for the times he had on planet duties, but having Keith's things in their wardrobe never failed to make anything Lance feel less than loved. The small little otherwise insignificant things left him giddy inside, like the way Keith would huff over his pillows if Lance would move then, his husband would go out of his way to leave them across each other rather than stacked, simply to get a rise out of him. Or the way his boots sat by the end of their bed. Even the way their toothbrushes sat in the holder together in their bathroom. It made their space feel even safer, even though there was already a very limited amount of people who could access his room. Zak had written the control program for the hand scanner on his door. Keith, Daehra, Lucteal, Coran, and Shiro were the only ones other than him to have clearance to his space. The door to the wing where his quarters were located was only accessible by staff, with most of the space around his room used for storage. When he'd first started sleeping in the room, he'd slept on the floor in the wardrobe. The space of the bedroom felt massive, leaving him jumping at shadows, and whispers that weren't there.

The fourth phoeb of calling the outpost his home had been his favourite. Keith had had enough time off work to spend real quality time with him. His husband was more than happy to act as a barmaid behind the bar of what he called the hotel part of the outpost. And quiznak if he didn't look like sex on legs as he did. Word had finally started getting around, so business had picked up. Bounty hunters from every race now knew it was a safe inexpensive place where all personal rivalries were stored away. It grew tiresome to constantly quarrelling. A tedious peace was held. No one wanted to throw the first punch. All of them thought themselves alpha males, yet if they acted up, they knew they'd find themselves thrown into the holding cells beneath the bar. Their name and reputation would be torn to pieces before they set foot in the confined place. Around the walls of the bar, various bounties were posted, plus pricings for those looking to buy and trade goods. Lucteal and Tobias generally worked the trade section. Zak couldn't be trusted to man the section alone as his tinkering curiosity usually meant things were pulled apart instead of being turned over for GAC. Lance would work with weapons, but any and all drugs were off-limits to him by his own request. The desire to find that all familiar high seemed too much to handle when the pills or injections were right in front of him. Some quintants he wouldn't think of it, while others he felt as if his skin could barely contain all his desires. He was locked out of the storage system. The only lock in the whole outpost that he didn't have access too. If he wanted to score, he'd have to do so of world, and both times he'd given into the desire, it'd nearly broken his heart to have to admit it to Keith. Keith was mad, yet he understood. They both knew it was hard. The initial plan was for Keith to be there to provide support as he withdrew from all the quiznakking red crap in his system. Unfortunately, the universe couldn't simply give either of them the break and time they needed. Keith had also grown increasingly depressed and worried over the time they spent apart. So when he finally had a phoeb off to be with him, Lance wasn't sure if it was because there really wasn't much for him to do, or if Krolia was worried for her son's mental health. It all passed too fast for him. Giggly mornings in bed. Slow and lazy sex if they felt like it. Cuddles. Bad morning breath and long baths together... He was so proud to have Keith by his side. Proud to show him off and introduce him to everyone he'd been meeting since opening the outpost...

Everything was going alright until it wasn't. Everything was going alright until Lance felt like the rug had been torn out from beneath him. He'd finally felt like he could stop and take a breath without the whirlwind of life sweeping him away...

Keith had made a friend in the new recruits, and due to that friend, his husband had to cut their precious phoeb together short. Krystaal had become the bane of his existence, and Keith had no idea how much Lance hated hearing their name when they were together. He hated when Keith would sit there laughing as he checked his comms. But most of all he hated himself over how jealous he was. Keith had wanted to work on himself and he'd made a friend. He was growing as man, as blade member and as an important figure on Daibazaal. He should have been happy. He should have been worried when Keith had to rush off to Daibazaal because the team Krystaal was in had gotten into trouble on a mission because someone was in danger. Not because his precious time with Keith was cut short. It was so quiznakking hard not to cry when Keith left. His husband kissing him so sweetly then he was gone from his arms, their dopey wolf son in toe, with the promise to return soon. A promise Keith had to break when retrieving the missing team from the field. Even with the use of wormholes, it took two movements to retrieve the team. The precious two movements that'd been left of their phoeb... meaning their "holiday" time together to an end for God only knew how long. Both of them knew that keep their relationship going would be hard with the kind of work they did. Lance could scream until he was blue in the face over how unfair it was, yet he knew it'd get him nowhere. It hadn't even been six phoebs yet, and with the time dilation in play, his time was accelerated when compared to Keith. Two quintants for his husband were three for him. Two phoebs for Keith were three phoebs for him... He was the one who chose to settle on the planet knowing that time was different there. He had no right to cry when Keith no doubt was pushing himself even harder without the luxury of the extra vargas to rest. His husband didn't need him burdening him any further than he had... When his next heat came, Keith would come home again. He simply needed to remain strong until then... and ignore the tiny voice of jealousy that would whisper in his mind during those long vargas of the night. Keith cared about his team and who he was training because not caring meant death... All he could do was keep putting one foot in front of the other until his husband came back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's heavy and I'm sorry!! We get sex and talking next chapter and loving Shiro in the third... but even when married our boys are still idiots.
> 
> Krystaal - Kryst'ahl... our boy be a hottie...


	2. Chapter 2

Keith was tired. The kind of bone-numbing tired that came from having to supply additional cover during the mission they'd arrived back on Daibazaal from the previous night. Having slept the last several vargas away, the half-Galra knew he should be feeling somewhat refreshed, yet falling asleep had been more like a chore. His mind wouldn't let rest, leaving him tossing and turning until his body finally gave up and decided that his mind was filled with crap. Which it was. He missed Lance like crazy, not being able to talk to him was wearing thin on his emotions. Lance understood that there were certain missions that needed to be conducted in complete radio silence. He was able to have his comms on in his ship, the cloaking device scrambling incoming and outgoing signals to the ship so the person on the other end of the line couldn't be traced, but the fact there was that signal in existence in an area was enough to tip off most people that something didn't quite add up. With Lance's mental health practically a roller coaster, and with his line of work more dangerous than most people's, Krolia had granted Keith special permission that in extreme circumstances he was allowed to pick up a call from Lance at his discretion. Not wanting to cause a scene, or risk compromising a mission, his husband hadn't once made use of his special privilege. When Keith had tried to call him, as he laid in his overly large and empty bed, his call hadn't been accepted. He'd hoped for at least a message from his husband, but it seemed like he'd disturbed Kosmo off his feet for nothing as both his comms were notification free. Well, not completely free. His mother had sent a message teasing him for sleeping so long, and Acxa had sent one teasing him over not having gone straight home to Lance. He'd wanted to. Every single piece of him wanted to be curled around his husband, enjoying his warmth and the feel of Lance's soft skin against his own. Marvelling over the mystery of how Lance was still his despite him forever being at work, then their schedules clashing... He wouldn't be surprised if his husband wanted to dump him for how often he was called in, and how long his missions were. Keith knew it hurt Lance to be apart for so long, yet his husband bit his lip and held his head high. But now he needed to debrief his mother over why the whole mission had gone to quiznak, and why their cover had been blown by recruits who's job was to observe, not directly participate. He also needed to check in with the rest of the team to make sure those who needed medical treatment had received it... Quiznak... that sounded like far too much work...

Allowing himself to pull the blankets up over his head, and ignore the world for a little longer. Keith barely had a few doboshes of peace before his secondary comms were ringing. He hadn't been sure when Lance had given him a comms device connected to the bounty hunter network. He wasn't sure he wanted to know when Lance was throwing himself into danger until after the fact, when his husband was home safe and sound. He still regretted that he hadn't been there when Lance had been hospitalised. Daehra had politely explained it all to him, but anyone in love knows that when you hear the words "medically induced coma", your first instinct is to be there by their side. No matter how contagious they were. Besides, Coran had got to go. Lance hadn't thrown him out the room... Yes... he was slightly bitter about it still. He wanted Lance to rely on him. To talk to him. No matter what he was thinking or feeling. Sticking his hand out from under the blankets, he felt around for him comms. Kosmo thinking it was an invitation for him to climb under the blankets and make a nuisance. By the time he got Kosmo settled, he'd missed the call. His wolf licking at his hands as they lay back to chest. Lance was much less trouble to cuddle like this. Plus, it led to early morning kisses and nuzzles, then Lance would turn in his arms, kisses deepening, Keith sliding up and between his husband's leg... Fuck... he should have just gone home.

Seeing Daehra had called, Keith battled Kosmo to sit up. Daehra would keep him updated on Lance, and on things that she felt Keith should know about. Like when something triggered a change in his husband, or who Lance didn't like in the bar... The sorts of things Lance wouldn't admit to him because he'd think them trivial. It was hardly trivial when more than one bounty hunter had asked Daehra to put a good word in with Lance. Returning the call, Daehra scowled through the screen at him  
"Why did you not answer? I only just called you"  
"Nice to see you too, Daehra. I'm sorry, I just woke up. What's going on?"  
"We require you to come home immediately"  
"Uh... Dae, you're going to need to make sense. I came back from a mission last night"  
"Lance is soon to start his heat cycle. He was hospitalised during the time his last one was supposed to come, and he'd acting completely irrational about this one. He says he doesn't wish to burden you, but he's locked himself up in his room"  
Pinching the bridge of his nose Keith closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly before opening them again. He had no idea it was supposed to come so soon. He barely had two quintants off before there was a coalition meeting Krolia wanted him to attend  
"I take it you tried reasoning with him?"  
"A customer told him he smelt like a "ripe whore". Normally he ignores comments like that, but he barely made it out to the storage room before throwing up. No one's allowed in your room, he can't stomach smells at the moment or touch. I'm sorry I missed most of his symptoms. He's been acting strange lately, I guess this would be why"  
"He didn't say anything to me about... anything"  
"Keith, you know he wishes not to worry you. You know he would never ask you to put him before your job, no matter how depressed he is. From the emotions I feel coming from him, his heat cycle should be starting rather soon"

That little shit. He knew Lance wasn't telling him everything. He'd asked him over and over if he was coping with his workload. If he needed help, or needed Krolia or Shiro to send out a team to assist, but Lance had brushed it off with "it's hard and there's a lot to do, but it feels good to be working towards something". What a load of shit. Sure, it'd be hard to get time off and it'd involve some major rearranging of the schedules on Kolivan and Krolia's ends. But Zethrid, Ezor and Acxa were all perfectly capable leaders. They'd be able to take his spot with ease...

"Keith. I can feel your anger from here. He is working very hard. He still talks to his therapist. He's finished his injections. He barely drinks as much as he used to. He participates in your team calls with the ex-Paladin members and contacts Miriam each Earth movement. He is trying, it's just... these last three movements he's been trying too much. I know you were unable to avoid leaving due to the emergency with the trainee members, but it feels to me like he was simply going through the motions until you arrived. He was so happy to have you home, that he hadn't mentally prepared himself for you having to leave early. Lance understands your workload, and I feel he feels that asking you to keep your promise of spending his heat with him has either been forgotten, or is at an inopportune time for you"  
Why was he being lectured? It wasn't as if he'd intention set out to let Lance down. He didn't know how this heat thing worked... why couldn't Lance have more faith in him? He loved him. He adored him... He hated that he'd broken promises and missed things... They'd barely been able to do the initial shopping for their bedroom before leaving Earth, and he'd had to rush back to work  
"He's my husband... he's supposed to come to me for these kinds of things..."  
"You're the most precious person in existence when it comes to Lance. He only wants for you to be happy, and to be focusing on your mission so you can come home safe"  
"Does he... is he in heat right now?"  
"Soon..."  
Lance hated his heats. He hated his body was "betraying him". He'd even said it physically hurt. Keith might have been mad at his idiot husband for not contacting him, but it was entirely possible that Lance was laying in their bed crying, torn between not wanting to burden Keith, and desperately wanting him to come home. He'd messed so much up. He couldn't mess this up for Lance, even if he didn't know what he'd be walking into, his husband desperately needed him home  
"I'll be there within the varga. I'm leaving now"  
Daehra's expression turned to one of relief  
"Thank you! I'll meet you in front of the outpost. I'm sorry to worry you with this when you've only just woken"  
"No. I want to... I want to know. I should have known he'd shy away from it"  
"That doesn't matter. The pair of you are still just as bad as each other"  
Keith feigned insult  
"I'm not that bad"  
"Tell that to Rachel"  
"I'm hanging up now Dae. See you soon"

Ending the call, Keith forced himself out of bed. What Daehra had been referring to was he and Lance had bought their bed for the outpost. Having spent the day buying things for their new home and the bar part of the outpost, they'd filled the two bedrooms closest to their room on the Telula. There new bed in Keith's old room upon the ship. Exhausted from a day of shopping, Lance had thrown himself down on their new mattress, pulling Keith down on top of him where he would up elbowing his husband in the gut. Laughing as Lance whined at him, he peppered kisses to Lance's lips as he tried to bring his laughter under control, his husband pushing at him, but giving up and instead wrapping his arms around him and rolling them over so Lance was straddling his lap. Somewhere between kissing Lance's stomach better, and tickling his sides, they'd wound up progressing into sex, Lance's jeans around his ankles, Keith's jeans barely pulled down mid-thigh in their rush to feel connected. Having waited until the day where the Telula was mostly open so they could load her up, Rachel had sprung her plan to "heist" Lance's ship. Appearing in the doorway just in time to catch cuddling during their post-sex high... Keith still between Lance's legs, his arse in the air... Leading to his sister-in-law screaming and running. Lance was initially mortified, starting to cry thinking that Keith was more ashamed of the compromising pose than he was. He loved Lance. He didn't feel ashamed over showing that love... maybe a little awkward because Rachel had seen his arse, but she'd seen a mostly clothed Lance, and nothing of his husband's more intimate areas. When caught by Daehra and Lucteal, demanding to know why she'd screamed, the pair had simply rolled their eyes at her. Her revenge for the situation was to cover the Telula in cloaking camo while everyone was eating lunch, which might have worked if the Telula didn't cut off the shadow of his own ship unnaturally. In the end, Lance gave her a blaster to shut her up, though she really didn't deserve it. She hadn't won whatever sibling battle that it'd been. She'd only annoyed everyone by talking about them having sex, and leading to Lance banning sex for the rest of their time on Earth, which wasn't long due to him being called back for a mission. Even when they'd christened their room in the outpost, Lance was jumpy and expecting someone to walk in. Keith could have killed Rachel for upsetting his husband as she had, Lance had even been sleeping in his wardrobe like the bed was a taboo area... She'd fast become his least favourite family member.

Given that he'd be preoccupied with Lance once he reached the outpost, he couldn't take Kosmo with him. The last thing they needed was Kosmo interrupting with a wet nose to places no wet nose needed to go. Dressing casually, Keith's mind was busy with trying to figure out how to tell his mother he needed to leave immediately, not paying attention as he jogged through the halls. Jogging straight into Acxa with their two new most promising recruits Krystaal and Regetta.

Caught by Acxa, she stopped his backwards fall with a laugh. Things were going great for her and Veronica, her mood much more happy and outgoing, and her cheek had gone through the roof  
"What are you doing? Krolia has been waiting for you all morning. You still have bed hair!"  
"Leave him alone, Acxa. He's obviously sleepwalking"  
Ignoring Krystaal's jab, Keith crossed his arms. The Galra reminded him so much of Lance that it was cruel. He might look like the love child of Acxa and Lotor, with Lotor's build and Acxa's cuteness, as his mother said, it was his personality that really reminded him of his husband. His stupid recklessness to throw himself in harm's way to protect someone else was just like Lance. He was a good guy, and it felt to him like he'd made a friend with no ulterior motives. He didn't suck up to him because he was Krolia's son or a past Paladin  
"I have to go home. Lance needs me"  
Acxa sobered  
"Is he alright? He's not injured, is he? Veronica is always saying he's working far too hard... He's not in hospital again is he?"  
"No. It's not like that... well, it's kind of like that. He's not in a good place right now"  
Keith appreciated how Acxa cared for Lance. Zethrid and Ezor had developed a soft spot for Lance too, though they were much more subtle about it...  
"Will he alright? Can I do anything to help?"  
Shaking his head, he realised he had no idea how exactly to explain why Lance needed him home without betraying his trust  
"He'll be alright, but I need to leave right away. I don't know how long I'll be gone for"  
"Of course. We'll handle things here, you go look after your husband"  
"Thanks, Acxa. Oh... Let Veronica know I'm there, so Lance might not check-in..."  
"I know you want to reassure her, but when you're both together anything could happen"  
"With Daehra there? No, seriously though, he'll be fine. He's just a bit stressed from overworking himself so I need to head out. Can you watch Kosmo too?"  
"Consider it done. Now go already!"  
Slipping between them group, he started jogging again, throwing back over his shoulder  
"I'll see you guys when I get back! Don't slack on training!"

Krolia let him go with minimal fuss, Kolivan, however, didn't look amused that he needed to take time off for his husband. Explaining that he didn't know when he'd come back only increased Kolivan's scowl, Krolia smacking her boyfriend upside the back of his head in a move only she'd be brave enough to try. The air around her had changed lately, Keith was wondering if she'd fallen pregnant again... He hadn't told anyone her news, and he suspected that part of the reason why they'd both kept him so busy because they were leading up to revealing their news and asking him to stay on longer... Which he didn't want, and didn't know how to say no too. She was his mother... and Lance... Lance was his whole goddamn world. It was hard enough to be with Lance as it was. A year like this... Keith wasn't sure he had the strength to keep leaving Lance behind. His heartfelt like it was breaking each time he did, and he knew his husband felt the same way. The photos of them that hung in the cockpit of his ship were painful on the long trips between planets. The videos Lance sent him lulled him sleep each night, he must have watched them a hundred times by now. He knew them off by heart. He was struggling so badly with this situation that he didn't want to go back to Daibazaal. It already felt like he wasn't made for a teaching role. Being with Lance had finally taught him the value of being patient, something Shiro had never drummed into his thick scull despite his personal mantra. He found himself quick to find fault with the latest batch of recruits, despite knowing that everything they'd trained in, in their whole lives had to be thrown away as they learned how to live in peace. One simply couldn't blindly strikeout, or act rashly, it would compromise the mission to act in haste. Yet the instinct was still there. The instinct and culture of proving one's superiority through strength. He was tired of it. He was tired of knowing that he and Lance would perform these mission with ease. He was tired of cleaning up messes. Lance might not have thought himself worthy of being a Paladin, but at least he'd been useful from the start. Not like some of the recruits. Shaking his head, he dismisses the train of thought as his wormhole to the outpost opened. His stomach felt queasy with nervousness over what condition Lance would be when he arrived, and his heart was racing slightly over the fact that he'd be spending the next movement having sex with his lover repeatedly. As excited as he was over that, he still felt as if he was forcing himself on his husband, who'd in his right mind, was still coming to terms with sex being part of their relationship. He didn't want Lance to ever feel forced, but his heat was about to do just that.

*  
Landing his ship next to the outpost in his designated bay, Keith nearly forgot how to human as he went to disembark. First, he forgot to undo the straps to the harness, then he stumbled over his own feet once he was finally free. Berating himself for his idiocy, he bit his tongue as he missed the last step of ship's ramp. Waiting for him, Daehra was wringing her hands, rushing to him once he was few metres clear of his ship  
"How is he?"  
"I don't know. He's in your bedroom, but he didn't look well when he left"

Falling into step with Daehra, the pair of them headed towards the side entrance of the main building of the outpost skipping entering through the bar area  
"Did it come on suddenly, or has he been feeling the effects for days?"  
"He felt jittery last night, but the rest of his symptoms seemed to hit all at once while behind the bar. He said the events were too much for him to handle, even with his mask on he could smell them"  
"Do you think I need to shower?"  
"I do not know. I would recommend it, but your clothes are in the bedroom..."  
Which meant walking around naked. Every corner of the outpost was under camera surveillance, except for the staff quarters, bedrooms and bathrooms. Instead, cameras were in the halls facing toward room doors in case of any incidents. Lance didn't want to invade people's rights privacy, the footage stored in the basement of the outpost where most of it would never see the light of day  
"I think I'll try talking to him first. If he hasn't showered, I'll try getting him to"  
"Good. I know there is food and water in the refrigerator in your quarters. Lance mentioned only once before that he isn't able to fend for himself properly during these heats, and that he often isn't in his right mind or control of his actions. As it is only starting, you should be able to converse. If you can't, and you need something delivered, I can bring it to your door for you to collect, but I'd rather not enter Lance's room"  
"That's probably for the best. I don't know how my own instincts are going to react to the situation. I've told mum I might be here a while"  
"Of course you are. You simply cannot leave once it's over. He needs to step back from his workload and I'm hoping your presence here will force him to do so"

Keith frowned, holding the door open for Daehra before following her into the brightly lit hallway  
"How much sleep has been getting?"  
"I think he's been averaging 5 vargas a night, then an afternoon nap of a varga or two, depending on how busy the bar is. Lately, he's been rearranging the storage area for-trade items, but he insists on being hands-on in every aspect of running the outpost from maintenance all the way through to cooking. He's been compiling a new menu that is better fitted to Tobias's skills, as well as helping to explain Earth food to the new man we took on in the kitchen. To ensure quality, he tastes almost everything"  
"I know he doesn't mind cooking, but he used to leave it to your cook"  
"Our cook left after being insulted. We swapped two of the housekeepers into the kitchen while Lance is looking for a new one, yet... They all fail when compared to Hunk or Miriam"  
Keith rolled his eyes. Lance wanted to serve travellers a taste of home. He served mostly Earth alcohol, with special stock set aside for those he dubbed regulars  
"Everyone fails when it comes to Hunk. Why don't you and Lucteal have a look at cooks? Like make a list of potential candidates, and I'll talk him into hiring someone"  
"If anyone can make him see reason, it is you"  
"I don't know about that. He didn't even tell me about this"  
"I know it's hard to handle. I can feel your emotions rolling off of you. He's been having a hard time readjusting to having his marks. So many people were commenting on it, he wears his mask in the bar now to hide them, or tries to cover them with makeup. I don't think it helped either to learn that his seizures were more or less maintained by the blue medication he was previously on, and that's why the number rose after weaning himself off it. Then there's the fact he was told he'd be feeling residual weakness for up to 6 phoebs after coming off the gold injections. Now that they've stopped, he refuses to take anything orally, even for something as minor as a headache. He's most frustrating"  
"He has his moments. Has he relapsed again?"  
"No. No, he said he's scared that he will if given the chance. A customer tried to pay in pills for his lodging with you know we do take. He fled the bar and refused to leave his room until their stay had passed"  
Most of the pills they took nowadays only went to greasing deals or working as bait. The worst of them were destroyed so they wouldn't fall into the hands of people like Lance, who were recklessly using them to cope  
"He didn't tell me that"  
"He was ashamed of the incident"

Continuing the small talk until they reached the wing to where Lance was hiding, things hadn't been all bad for his husband. They'd travelled to a mostly water planet where Lance had made friends with a group of orphaned children. Having no homes, he'd made it his mission to find someone to take them in. Daehra had said he'd acted like Miriam as he'd fussed over the 6 children like they were his own. He'd brought all of them new clothes, toys, food, backpacks to store their own belongings in, then found a space for them at a rebel camp because most orphanages wouldn't have been able to keep them all together. He'd also given them a comms in case of any emergencies or if they simply wanted to talk. Some had sent through photos of drawings with Lance and his team. There were other things his husband had achieved, like saving those tribes that had landed him in hospital. They'd wanted to build a shrine to him once they were able to resettle, instead, Lance had made them promise to talk and trade more with each other. Just because they lived the same lifestyle and came from the same planet, didn't mean they all got along. Not everyone they'd been able to evacuate survived, yet if Lance hadn't come all of them would be dead. He knew how his husband's silly brain fixated on the bad, without requiring Daehra's little push towards reminding Lance that the work he was doing mattered.

Pausing to knock on their bedroom door, Keith let himself into their room to find Lance hidden under a pile of blankets. The scent filling the space so powerful he unconsciously took half a step back as his senses filled with it. Distress. Apprehension. Fear. Loneliness. Horniness... He could taste it on the tip of his tongue. Mentally kicking himself for stepping back, the half-Galra's legs shook as he approached the bed. His brain felt as if it was being invaded. A little voice whispering all the dirty things the could be doing to his husband as he forced himself to keep himself in check. Reaching the side of the bed, he knelt do undo his boots, his fingers clumsy and jeans far too tight as started panicking over how his body was reacting. He didn't want to hurt Lance, yet he'd barely been in the room a dobosh and all he could think about was how he needed bend Lance over and fuck him several ways to Sunday. He wasn't going to last. 

Stripping his clothes with his boots, Keith climbed up and crawled across their bed, his hand landing on the curve of the lump that would be Lance's hip. Beneath the blankets, his husband whimpered  
"Babe, it's Keith. Can you come out so we can talk?"  
"Go away!"  
"Go away" was followed by a soft sob  
"I can't do that, babe. Daehra said your heat's starting. I promised I'd be here for this"  
Tugging on the top of the blanket, Lance started to cry harder  
"Babe, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here now..."  
"Go away... please go away"  
"I can't do that..."  
"Please! Don't look at me!"  
That piqued his interest. Pulling the blankets back, Lance had both hands between his legs, fingering and jerking himself off as he cried into his pillow. He'd thought the scent bad enough before revealing the source of it  
"Don't look!"  
"Babe..."  
"Don't look at me! Please... please... don't look at me..."

Beneath Lance's hip and arse, the light brown sheet was darkened from his wetness with each obscene squelch that Lance's fingers made. Whimpering away from him, his husband tried to curl downwards to hide away. Taking Lance by the shoulder, he forced him back onto his back. The Cuban's eyes scrunched closed tightly as he continued to cry  
"Oh, baby..."  
Hiccuping, Lance shook his head at him  
"I can't... I'm sorry... I didn't know it was going to hit today..."  
Lance had no idea how hard it was for Keith to hold back, but he wasn't an animal. He wasn't going to pounce on Lance simply because his dick was twitching with interest  
"I'm sorry... I'll be good... just... stop looking at me..."  
Hushing him softly, Keith stroked at Lance's hair  
"Baby, you're not doing anything wrong. Let me help you?"  
"I can't..."  
"You can't what?"  
"Can't... come... it hurts... it hurts so much..."  
"I've got you... you just need to relax for me"  
"I can't... you smell wrong... you don't smell like you... I can't... I can't..."  
Running his free hand up Lance's thigh, Lance arched his back under his touch  
"You're so tense, baby. Open your eyes for me, ok? I'm here... your husband is here... come on, show my those blue eyes of yours"

Sniffling sadly, Lance did as he was asked. Watery blue eyes staring up at him as he bit his bottom lip. Running his hand back up from Lance's thigh to his cheek, Keith tugged Lance's lip free with the pad of his thumb  
"See babe. It's me. You're safe now. You're in a safe place. You can relax"  
"I'm sorry..."  
"Shhh. This isn't your fault. I want you to come for me"  
"I can't..."  
"Spread your legs for me, and let your fingers slide out your arse..."  
"I feel..."  
"I know you're all confused right now, but I want to see you come for me and I know you can"  
"It's dirty"  
"It's natural..."  
"I'm... a freak..."  
"No, babe. You're going to come for me"  
"It hurts... it's never hit so hard before... it hurts so much"  
"Babe, I'm here... I need you to let yourself go. Put your legs down, and slide your fingers out"  
With both arms trapped between his tightly closed legs, the position hard to hurt as Lance tried to ignore what his body wanted him to do. Inch by inch, his husband wrenched his shaking legs apart, not removing his fingers but making space to jerk himself better. The sight was glorious. Lance's leaking precum rolling down his fist into his short pubes  
"That's it... your doing so good"  
"I can't come..."  
"Don't think about anyone else. Think about me. Do you want me to touch you?"  
Nodding, Lance's already flushed face grew redder. Shifting his hand from Lance's face, he wrapped it around Lance's, controlling the pace as he thumbed at his slit. Gasping, Lance's cheeks glowed brightly as his husband came, cum splattering down his chest and stomach as his whole body finally relaxed. Drawing all he could, Keith milked Lance's erection until finally nothing more coated his fingers  
"Better, babe?"  
"You smell wrong..."  
"I came straight from Daibazaal..."  
"Your smell... is making me feel sick... feel so hot"  
"I'm pretty sure that's the fever from your heat. I thought we could take a shower together"  
Lance whimpered as Keith propped himself up. His lover flinching as he tried to bring his legs back up to cover himself up  
"Shhh. It's ok. I'm going to pick you up and carry you into the shower"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I ended up lying. Concerned Shiro will be in Chaper 4 by the looks of it... I didn't think this chapter was longer than 3k because it feels so short...
> 
> Also, I've been drawing really bad mermaids lately instead of writing.. though i do think mer keith on my tumblr is kinda cute...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied again... and wrote a sex chapter... enjoy

Carrying Lance into the bathroom, Keith sat his lover on the bathroom counter. Lance was wiping at his teary face, unable to look him in the and unable to stop crying. Keith hated it. He was painfully hard, dizzy on Lance's pheromones, yet Lance was miserable. Slotting himself between his husband's legs, he pulled Lance up to his chest, rubbing his back as he ignored the teasing wetness wiping across his crutch   
"Babe, it's ok... it's ok, you don't need to cry"  
Hiccuping, Lance hid his face against his neck, Keith raising his left hand to rub his wrist against his lover's neck  
"Shhhh..."  
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry..."  
"You don't need to be sorry. You've done nothing wrong"  
"It hurts... so much..."  
"How do I help? What can I do?"  
"I... want it... but it's so shameful... I hate this..."  
"You want to have sex? If it hurts..."  
"It hurts because there's... nothing in there... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."  
"Babe, you're telling me I need to fuck you for you to calm down? Is that it?"  
Lance nodded, sniffling loudly. His husband usually sought his neck out when distressed for his scent, if he wasn't pulling away than that had to mean that he'd finally found part of him that smelt acceptable  
"Hey, I don't know if you can smell it, but there's nothing shameful about you. I want you. I want you so fucking bad baby..."  
"It's not... you're not in control of yourself. It's this body"  
"Lance. I love you and this body... Of course, I want my husband, and I'll do anything to stop you feeling pain like this. I know you're not lying, I can smell your pain on you, and I know it's not how you want things to be, but maybe we can enjoy each other? We can pretend it's our honeymoon. You and me, in our own little world?"  
"I... I'm really fucking scared. I was working and hit... and people weren't people anymore... they were all scents... I couldn't see faces... but I could hear Klearo..."  
"Oh, baby... it's ok. Here wrap your legs around me... I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to last long, but once I'm in you, it's going to feel so much better"  
"I... can't... move my legs..."  
"Alright. I've got you, baby. Do you want to lie back for me"  
"No... too many scents"  
"Ok. Here we go, you ready?"  
"Ye-yes..."

Lifting Lance by the arse, Keith sank into Lance's wet heat with ease, barely able to keep from coming as Lance clenched around him. Lifting him off the bench completely, Keith turned to slam Lance up against the bathroom door, pinning his husband in place as he growled. Holding his hips down, Keith couldn't hold back his urges thrusting into Lance hard and fast, his husband's fingers tearing at the skin of his back as he dissolved into mews and gasps. Feeling his dick swelling and starting to catch, he nuzzled at Lance's temple until his husband finally raised his head   
"I'm going to come, baby. You feel so fucking good around my dick... You ready?"  
"Kiss?"  
"You want to kiss?"  
Nodding, Lance came between them, come hitting Keith's stomach as he pushed his lips against his husband's, letting his orgasm wash through him as Lance's body went limp beneath him. Running his hands up and down his lover's upper legs, he kept his lips against Lance's, breathing through his nose as he tried to distract his husband from the fact he was still rutting hard between his legs as he kept coming inside of him. He'd come embarrassingly fast, in a matter of moments, a few doboshes at the most. Breaking the kiss, Lance gasped as his head thumped back against the solid door  
"Quiznak! Are you alright?"  
"Hurts less... needed air"  
Moving his right hand up to cup Lance's face, Lance nuzzled into the touch, kissing his palm   
"You feel better?"  
"Not so hot... I can think better... You... smell like Acxa... and... something rotten"  
Wrinkling his nose, Keith kissed the tip. Lance looked far too cute not to  
"Sorry. I ran into her and the trainees racing to get here"  
"Can we shower? I don't like their scents..."  
"It might hurt... I'm pretty stuck in here"  
"I'm... sorry, but I'm going to be sick if I have to keep smelling them on you"  
"Ewww. No. Hold on tight then..."

Lance's version of holding on tight was clawing at his back as Keith's dick jostled, which was far too swollen to pull out without harming his husband. Much more carefully than when he'd slammed Lance into the door, Keith propped Lance up against the shower wall so he took the brunt of the water as he adjusted it to be just above room temperature. With Lance feeling ill, hot water was more than likely going to make him vomit. Stepping back into the spray, Lance whimpered as the water hit his skin. His face hidden against his neck again so Keith couldn't see his expression   
"Too hot?"  
"No... feel gross... really drained"  
"Does it still hurt?"  
"No. Keith... why are you here?"  
He hadn't fucked Lance senseless, instead, he'd fucked sense right into him  
"Because Daehra called to let me know. Why didn't you? I thought we agreed to tackle this together"  
"I know... but it... I didn't want to disturb you... you've been so busy with work... and this is... I hate this... it hurts... everything feels so gross... I don't want to take up too much of your time..."  
Lance's words felt like a slap to his face, his heart giving an uncomfortable beat. He was his husband. Lance wasn't supposed to feel like that. He was the one person that Lance was supposed to know would always, always be on his side  
"You're my husband"  
"I know! I know... but... I don't know what to say... I'm so tired of interrupting your work... You work so hard... I don't want..."  
"Lance, stop it. I'm your husband!..."  
Shit. He was yelling. Lance didn't do well with yelling, plus yelling while still coming in his husband felt... weird when it wasn't him calling Lance's name   
"...I'm your husband. You're meant to talk to me. Daehra said you're been sad. I know you've looked exhausted when we talk..."  
"I'm fine"  
"Babe... you're not fine. My dick is stuck in you... If you're not talking to me, I can't be here for you"

A tick passed, then another... and a third... Long enough that Keith thought Lance was going to fob him off with another half-arse answer... instead Lance howled in misery, dissolving into sobs again. Dammit. He thought Lance was calm enough for this   
"I'm sorry! I love you so much but I don't want you coming home because I hate seeing you leave me behind! I don't know what to do because I don't want to burden you! Ugh... I'm sorry... I'm trying but... I miss you all the time... and I can't tell you that because your work's important... and... and... I... ugh... love you..."  
Quiznak. He'd pushed him too far...  
"I love you too. I love you so much. I hate having to leave you behind, but baby, you're never burdening me. If you don't tell me what you're feeling, then... what good am I?"  
"I don't want you to hate me"  
"I am not going to hate you. I don't hate you. I hate that I've kept letting you down"  
"You... have work..."  
"You're more important than work"  
"No, I'm not... You're training the new generation of Blades while... I run just a hotel..."  
"Look here you, no. You saved people. I've heard about it... and I saw you picked up some small bounties..."  
"Its work anyone could be doing"  
"Yet no one had bothered to organise everyone and bring them together like you did"  
"They didn't want to... they didn't want it unless they were getting something out of it"  
"But things have gotten better as a whole, haven't they?"  
"I don't know... I'm sorry... my head gets weird"  
"I know it does"  
Lance shook his head   
"I mean... in heat... it's hard to find words... I know this sounds like a cop-out... but I'm not right in the head"  
Keith sighed. Sliding his hand up from Lance's arse, his dick and Lance's long caramel legs around his waist were the only thing keeping his husband up now, Keith threaded his fingers through his husband's went hair  
"Why can't you get it already? I'm hurting too. I tell you when I missed you. When I'm lonely. I tell you that I watch your videos and that I hate working so much... Am I not supposed to tell you that?"  
"No... no... I want to be there for you"  
"That's what I want. I want us to be there for each other"  
"I have... so much stuff going on... If you got hurt because of me... I couldn't live... argh... sorry... it's starting again..."  
Quickly to move, Keith took Lance by the arse trying to relieved the pressure in his husband's legs, guiding Lance back against the wall and grabbing the shower gel from the holder  
"It's starting again? Does it hurt again?"  
Lance winced as he nodded, both hands coming to rest on his smooth belly   
"Cramping..."  
"I'm still in you... "  
Lance nodded, his husband's chest rising further than normal as he took a deep breath, and released it slowly   
"I know... I know... normally... I'm alone... feels better with you, but it's still tender..."

Lathering up the shower puff, Keith started with Lance's shoulders. He had no way of understanding what Lance was feeling physically. He could curse everything and everyone out there, but that wouldn't give him answers. He wanted to know. He wanted to know how to care for Lance properly so he didn't feel neglected, used or abused and wrong because his body was a little different  
"What does it feel like? I mean... is there any way to describe it?"  
"Um... like... food poisoning... When you get those sharp pains... and all you can think of is dying to escape the pain..."  
Keith stiffened at the word "dying". Lance had tried taking his own life before, even as a descriptive word, his stomach felt as if it'd dropped to sit in his feet   
"... then... there's the need to have sex... to be pushed down and fucked... to have your body acting on its own... it doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't go away... I know the pills were bad... but my heat was gone... it was gone and I could control my body... I don't like this... I feel like I'm using you because I can't take care of myself"  
Having worked his way down to Lance's stomach as he washed him, Keith shook his head. A soapy hand coming up to force Lance to stare him in the eyes   
"You are not using me. You are my husband, and I am so fucking proud of you for getting off that junk"  
"I miss it... the feeling... some days I want to scratch my skin off because I can't take anything and the feeling doesn't leave"  
"And you don't. Both times you slipped up, you told me. You told me and we talked about it together. You've gotta start telling me more"  
Groaning in pain, Lance shifted upwards. Keith could feel his semen and Lance's wetness running down his crotch  
"Babe?"  
"Pull out... I need to stand up"  
"Are you sure?"  
Lance gave a weird kind of half headshake before nodding   
"Please... I want to try relieving the pressure on my stomach..."  
"Alright. Can you take your own weight if I pull out? It might hurt, I'm still pretty swollen"  
"Mmm... go slow..."

The noises that left Lance's lips were pornographic as Keith pulled out. His dick was still oozing cum in a near-constant stream. Whimpering as he stood, Lance turned his back towards him in order to lean against the tiles   
"Give me a tick"  
"Want me to do your arse and thighs?"  
"Please... feels weird in a bad way... I know it's you... I just... if I give my anxieties this... then they should settle... or something"  
Despite the view of Lance's gaping leaking opening, and the pride Keith felt a watching thick trail of cum spilling down Lance's taint... and the fact that cleaning him up would ruin the view, Keith fought his instincts down again   
"Lance. You don't need to explain why you need things a certain way like this... we've never spent a heat together, so it's a learning curve for both of us. If you want to be clean, I'm happy to get on my knees and worship this beautiful body of yours as you deserve"  
"Ghwah! What am I supposed to say to that?!"  
Squawking at him, Keith smirked as he sank down onto his knees and ran the shower puff up the back of Lance's left leg. Washing the spot first, he then trailed kisses over the scar marks, and mottled spots that came from time spent in a healing pod. He didn't understand why it mottled Lance's skin. Not that he complained. His husband was more than just his eye-catching body. As cheesy as it sounded, and if he were the romantic and whimsical type without a reputation to uphold, he might go as far as to say that it was Lance's soul that he was in love with  
"Mmm... you don't have to say anything. I just want you to be comfortable"  
"I don't think I'll be comfortable until this heat passes... I'm sorry... you're always the one who has to drop everything to look after me"  
"And I'd do every single time..."  
"I'd do it for you... come to you... this isn't working how we thought... argh..."  
Hissing in pain, Lance pushed Keith's hands off him as he hunched over  
"Babe!"  
"It's ok... I'm ok... I need to get out..."  
"I'll get out too..."  
Lance shook his head, sadness in his eyes  
"I can still smell them... I'm sorry..."  
"I swear if you apologise again, I'm going to yell at you. It's nothing to scrub myself down, but will you be ok?"  
"I'll be ok... I'm starting to get hazy again..."

Lance walked out of the shower space with the grace of a newborn fawn. Leaning against the bathroom counter, his husband hung his head, clearly concentrating on his breathing. Lance's heat had barely started, and his emotions were already a mess. Keith had the feeling that they wouldn't be getting much sleep, not just from Lance's physical needs, or his, but from the nightmares he was sure would plague Lance. Heats were such a horrible and painful for thing for him, not at all some kind of gift like he'd thought maybe he'd be able to show his husband. In theory, a movement of being dick deep in his husband was paradise, in reality, he was starting to see the truth. 

Scrubbing himself thrice down, he'd barely rinsed off before Lance was staggering back to him, Keith wincing in sympathy as Lance fell down on his knees  
"Lance!"  
Shuffling forward, his husband's eyes were black with lust. His hands grabbing Keith's hips as nosed into his crotch  
"Need it... need it... you smell so fucking good"  
Keith had a healthy attachment to his dick. He never pushed Lance to do anything more than he was comfortable with. He never put his hands on Lance's head or covered his mouth with his hand. So when Lance slid his mouth around his aching dick, Keith's eyes nearly rolled back as his hands went up to grip just above his hips. Why did humans have to have hands? He had no idea where to put his hands... Lance had thrown himself into this, he'd barely started but the way he was working Keith's dick with his mouth... it was enthusiastic, to say the least. Bobbing his head, Lance paused for half a moment to spread his legs, releasing Keith's right hip and reaching down to finger himself while rising his sticking his arse out. Quiznak... Fuck... he wished there was a camera in their bathroom because there was no way that he was going to forget this and this was definitely going to be keeping him up during those early hours of the morning in more ways than one. The way Lance's eyelids were lidded. His scent coming off thickly like they were standing on the beach under the warmth of the noonday sun. The soft moans Lance louder groans as Lance hollowed his cheeks and fingered himself. The way droplets of water rolled down Lance's spine, his hips jerking softly as his wetness squelched lewdly. His heart was racing, if Lance kept this up, he was going to come... and he definitely didn't want to get bitten for doing so...

Pushing Lance with his fingertips on his husband's shoulders, Lance was confused. His mouth still open, trails of drool and precum arching like spiderweb threads from his soft lips to the head of Keith's oozing erection. Falling back to slightly, Lance's eyes widened as his fingers slipped deeper inside, a small spurt of come landing between his husband's bent knees  
"Bed. Now"

Lance dragged him to their room, bending over the end of their bed and sticking his arse out as he moved to fist himself. Taking his husband by the hips, Keith growled. He could smell those offensive scents now and he didn't want them anywhere near his husband. Not in their space. Lance was his to fuck and breed. Shoving himself in harshly, Lance half shot up, a knee on their bed as Keith started to ride him  
"Going to fuck you so good baby... breed you so fucking well..."  
The Galra eyes had turned yellow, his teeth sharpening as his scent flooded the room, warning no one to dare cross the threshold lest he tear them limb for limb. Crying out, Lance came across their sheets as he clutched at the fabric for purchase... 

Now their bedding was peeled back, he could see his clothes mixed into the layers of blankets. Their pillows were covered in his shirts, his pride swelling that his husband had surrounded him with his scent. Nudging him up, Keith pulled out until Lance had climbed up onto their bed properly, rewarding his husband for such good behaviour with a better position. Allowing himself a taste of his husband, Keith jerked himself as he leaned down to lap at his husband's twitching opening, moaning as Lance's sweet wetness rolled down his throat. Rocking back, Lance fucked ground his arse against Keith's face   
"Keeeeith... need it... fill me... want it so bad... fuck me... wanna... breed... so empty..."

Keith's ears twitched at the word "breed". Running his tongue up his husbands arse, he repositioned himself, sheathing himself slowly in Lance in order to savour the feeling of his lover clenching and drawing him deeper. Bottoming out, he ran his tongue up to Lance's left ear, tugging at the lobe with his teeth. Just as slowly he drew back, Lance whimpering at the lack of pace. Ramming back in, his husband cried out. Repeating the action over and over, it was sweet torture for both of them, Lance dissolved into chanting   
"Keith... Keith... oh... ah... ah .. fuck... fuck... oh fuck... oh fuck... oh fuck... so fucking big for me, papi... you feel so fucking good... gonna... gonna fuck me and fill me... fill... me so much..."  
Smirking, Keith sat back. Pulling Lance's arse cheeks apart, the half-Galra widened his husband's legs with his knees, watching himself fucking Lance's sopping cunt as Lance hungrily ripped around his swelled dick. Mewing at the change of position, Keith picked his pace up. Slap after wet slap filling the space as the wetness of Lance's arse rolled down their thighs. He felt fucking high on the scent, his fingernails now claws to allow him to hold Lance firmly down and breed him. He was going to fucking flood him with his seed. He was going to breed Lance until his husband's arse was gushing his semen out of that slutty little hole of his. His husband's orgasms hitting in hard pulses, the sheets beneath splotched around the sticky darkened wet spot as he rubbed the tip against them in search for further stimulation, moaning and mewing as he tried to fuck down against the mattress and push back to get Keith deeper inside of him. Unashamedly debauched all self-restraint was gone. Lance had cum three times for him already untouched, crying and whimpering for Keith to let him fuck his hand. Praising his husband, he allowed him to ride out his fourth orgasm into his palm knowing that he couldn't stave off orgasm any longer. His balls felt heavier than normal, the girth of his penis stretching Lance so wide open his husband looked impaled, ready to tear so easily around him. Snarling as Lance messed with his rhythm by bottoming out, Keith let his fingernails break Lance's skin  
"Fuck me harder... fuck... Keith... need it... need it... please...

Lance pressed his smooth chest against their sheets with his arse up in the air whimpering at being unable to get enough friction on his dick, humping his hand. Pushing Lance up with his thighs, he rocked his husband back against his dick, forcing him to fuck himself for daring to move  
" .... Keith... Keith... harder... harder... shit... mmmnnn... fuck... don't-stop-don't-stop-don't-stop... I'm gonna... gonna... ah... ah... gonna get pregnant... fuck... fuck... ah... mnnnn nnngh... ah... Ah!"  
Fuck going slow...  
Riding Lance mercilessly hard through his orgasm, Keith tasted blood as his vision misted red, and his own orgasm crashed through him so hard he fell forward as his hand flew to his dick, trying to stem the overwhelming gushing feeling like he was pissing inside his husband due to the force.

Every time he came inside Lance, it felt like a primal surge to thoroughly soaked his husband's insides with his seed. He loved to watch as his cum ran from his lover's arse and down his thighs. He loved to lick Lance clean. Revelling in the way Lance would hold his head down with those thick caramel thighs of his. He loved teasing the over sensitised ring of muscle with the tip of his tongue, ignoring Lance's embarrassed begging when his scent wasn't matching his words. His husband would be trying to fuck himself on his tongue as wet and cum covered Keith's lips and chin. He held no shame during sex with Lance. Not anymore. The way Lance cried out for him, for more... knowing he was all his and all those who'd seen the sight that rightfully belonged to him were all dead... he was drunk on the feeling. Drunk knowing that Lance had placed his ultimate trust in Keith to let go and give in to their instincts.

Coming down, Lance was sniffling beneath him and his nape was between Keith's teeth. Realising he'd bitten his husband hard enough to break the skin, Keith forced his teeth out of the bite, licking at the blood because he didn't know what else to do. It wasn't like he liked the taste or scent of blood. There were too many bad memories associated with it. He hadn't even meant to bite Lance. Pulling Lance sideways, Keith curled around him, rubbing at his belly as he swapped from licking to nuzzling   
"Babe? Babe, you with me?"  
"Tired... hurts..."  
"Shit babe. I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to bite you as I came..."  
"Hurts..."  
"I know... fuck... I'm still coming..."  
"I want to sleep..."  
Sliding a hand up, Lance gripped at his pillow as he nosed into it. Having ridden through the wave of need again, Keith was feeling drained. Lance taking the brunt of everything must have barely been awake in his hold  
"You sleep my love... you sleep, I've got you"  
"You won't go... will you?"  
"No, babe. No... you take a little nap for me... I'm going to be right here"  
"Ok... it's cold"  
Keith was drenched in sweat. It wasn't cold, but for Lance's sake, he grabbed a handful of the strewn blanket and pulled it over them  
"I'm sorry"  
There it was again  
"It's alright. You're alright... get some sleep for me. We'll have something to eat and drink when you wake up"  
"Not hungry..."  
"I don't care. You need food..."  
He needed food, rest and probably medication. Or at least Daehra's vitamin pills if he couldn't get Lance eating. Nosing at Lance, his husband didn't reply, unexpectedly already asleep or more likely he'd passed out.

As Lance's heat grew, his ability to do anything himself became practically nonexistent. He couldn't sit up to eat or drink unaided, Keith sitting him in his lap to feed him which was never more than a few bites before Lance would whimper at him to say no more. Water was harder, Lance barely able to swallow water and pills. The second time Keith had tried to give him pills Lance had had a panic attack so bad he'd thrown up and passed out after fighting him off. His husband's sleep was broken, not more than a varga or two at a time unless Keith stayed buried in his husband. It was mentally draining, yet Lance reaching him with those loving arms of his and shy smile on his face made it worth it. He couldn't take Lance's fear away, or help his husband control his bodily functions, but he could worship every inch of Lance's soft body when he was buried between his legs. He could take his time to pleasure Lance into orgasm. To press soft kisses to his love marked skin, and whisper words of praise at his husband's strength. He could be there when Lance woke disorientated and whimpering, pulling him up to straddle his lap as he rubbed his back until he settled. He could be there to carry Lance to the bath so he didn't have to sleep covered in cum and other fluids. To wash his hair and dry him down. He didn't know how much registered for his husband, but he hoped Lance knew and could feel his love for him.

*  
Lance felt as if he was melting. Everywhere Keith touched blossomed with warmth. He could hear his husband's soft words, feel the love in every soft caress and gentle thrust. He wanted to be able to reply, but his throat was wrecked from crying out as often as he had. They'd gone it at like rabbits, not a surface in their bedroom or bathroom hadn't been free from his heat. His body in overload from the pleasure and love. He loathed his heat, this one the worst he'd ever experienced, but it was manageable only because Keith was there to keep him safe. His husband never faltering in his duties, whether it be feeding him, bathing him or fucking him, Keith was there.

Moaning as his husband slowly rocked from behind, his heat was wavering. The persistent crampings of his stomach lessening to a constant thudding ache as Keith pleasured his body. He could feel Keith's lips against his neck, his right leg raised and supported as Keith jerked him in time with his thrusts, his dick thickened but limp from how many times he'd come. Feeling another wave of orgasm building, the soft whine from his kiss swollen lips was all Keith needed, to know he was close. Picking up his pace, Lance came with a strangled whine, Keith growling as dick caught spilling warmth through his belly. Trying to roll his upper half, he flopped back like a dying fish, feverish eyes finding Keith's. Gently kissing him, Keith gave him a tired smile, lowering his leg and wiping his hand off, before bringing it up to cup his face. The pad of his thumb rubbing softly across the dip under his eye  
"Hey, beautiful. Are you with me?"  
Blinking at Keith, he wanted to reply. Coughing slightly at the woolly feeling of his mouth, Keith hushed him  
"It's alright. I think your heats passing, your scents settling down"  
"Mmm..."  
It was more than he'd expected to be able to reply  
"I wanted to make sure you knew I'm here"  
He did... his stupid words weren't working, but he could still move his lips  
"I love you"  
Keith took a moment with his brow scrunched slightly   
"You said you love me, didn't you?"  
"Mmm..."  
"I love you, too. Fuck, babe. I love you so much"  
"Thank you"  
"You don't have to thank me... I know you never would have left me to go through this alone. Besides, you're really beautiful"  
Lance wanted to shove his husband playfully, but all he could do was let his eyelids start to droop. He was so quiznakking tired, and Keith felt so damn nice to cuddle into  
"You should sleep. You did so good baby. I'm so proud of you"  
Leaning in, Keith nuzzled into his cheek beside his nose as he kissed him softly. Keith was far more than he deserved. Who'd want to spend a movement like this? Forced to take care of someone too weak to do much more than whine or force themselves upon them. He adored him more than life itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnnnnd they fucked


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double Update Day!! which I just realised spells dud... thanks life...
> 
> I know, I've been preeeetty quiet... I've been distracted drawing hella bad mermaids... legit learning to draw again... though the Allura and Lance ones are my faves...
> 
> and now I'm rambling...
> 
> Ok... Last point, I know this is has been really heavy on Lance's mental health so far, but its gonna be super heavy on keiths too along the way. Their marriage just ain't working long distance because Lance knows he needs more support than what he's getting... They're both gonna hit the end of their emotional rope soon... in like 4 chapters i think it is... Honestly, I've done a bunch... she says then realises its like 9... 
> 
> Anyway... Enjoy. I Love you all. Your comments give me life

Coming out of his heat, Lance slept through the following quintant and a half. While his husband slept, Keith changed their sheets and found up the few blankets that hadn't made it onto their bed. Unlike Lance, Keith still felt the lingering urges from the past week, jerking off more than once in the shower to calm himself back down. Cleaning through the bathroom, he was glad that no one had seen the mess they'd made. The counter doors, shower wall and bathroom door had taken the brunt of their passions... which left him blushing like mad. If anyone had seen them... he would have clawed their eyes out. That side of Lance belonged purely to him, and now that they'd been through their first heat together, he had a much better idea of how to care for his husband in the future. He didn't know how much Lance remembered of it, but if he'd had access to an IV line and vitamin injections instead of pills, he would have been able to keep on top of Lance's needs far better... maybe he could get some stewed fruit or puddings, something easily swallowed that wouldn't hurt lance's throat. They also needed to get a fan for their room. The outpost might have built-in air vents, but that didn't help when Lance was freezing cold and had them buried under a mountain of blankets with Keith boiling his arse off.

Hearing a thud from their bedroom, it was followed by a weak calling of his name. Thinking Lance would sleep through his shower, Keith grabbed his towel and rushed into their bedroom. Laying on the floor, Lance was tangled up in their blankets, struggling weakly to untangle himself. The moment of worry at the sound of the "thud" passed in an instant. Lance looking adorable with his tussled bed head, and pouty lips. Sucking his lips in to avoid laughing at his husband, Keith stared down at him as Lance's pout only grew  
"Help?"  
"What happened?"  
"I needed to pee... my legs didn't get the memo"  
Lance's voice was husky from overuse. Having given up on escaping the blankets, he played with the hem of the blankets as he broke his gaze   
"Alright, babe. Let's get you up. How do you feel?"  
"Hot... tired... sick... grateful"

Pulling Lance free from their blankets, he hiked his husband up to his chest. Lance wrapping an arm around his shoulders  
"Grateful?"  
Lance nodded with a sign  
"That you were here... are here... it must have been bad for you"  
Kissing Lance's hair, what he'd gone through was nothing when compared to what his husband had been through   
"I'm fine. A little tired, and a bit drained, but I'm alright. How much do you remember?"  
"Most of it... I knew you were there, talking to me"  
Sitting Lance down on the bathroom counter, Keith went to leave so his love could have some privacy. Wrapping his arms around his chest, Keith was pulled back against Lance. He felt weirdly glowy at his husband's words... A stupid, ridiculous happy glow  
"I know... my heat's nearly all gone, but can we...?"

Turning in his hold, Keith cupped Lance's face. His big blue eyes staring into his own  
"Babe, are you sure? You don't feel feverish and you don't smell as sweet now"  
"I can feel it in my veins still... I... sometimes feel it after... but I ignore it... because I'm usually so miserable. I want to have sex with you while I'm mostly me..."  
"I thought you needed to pee?"  
Lance blushed lightly, biting his lip before giving a half shake of his head and replying   
"I didn't want to say I'm horny... I'm sorry... I don't want to force you..."  
"You're not forcing me. I'm worried about you. You've slept for most of the last two quintants. You're dehydrated and haven't eaten"  
"Forget I said anything... you've done... enough for me. I shouldn't be asking for anything more"

Lance's scent filled with rejection, his whole frame slumping down. Keith wasn't trying to reject him. He'd simply thought that Lance had been completely open about his heat and that when it ended, that was it. He didn't want Lance thinking that he needed to give him sex as some kind of reward for being there   
"That's not it at all. I'm worried. It was intense on your body"  
"Is that why? Are you disgusted? By me and this? I... I shouldn't have made you come home"  
"No. Hey, no. You're my husband. You'll always be my husband. I love that you want me. If you want me, you have me, but we're taking it slow. Then you're going to take a bath with me, and have something to eat and drink"  
"Sounds good... my throat hurts"  
"Sounds to me like I need to kiss it better?"  
"Mmm... my neck hurts too..."  
Guilt tugged at Keith's heart. He'd cleaned the back of Lance's neck up where he'd bit him, dressing the site with a waterproof bandage, but he'd left for the last few days because he didn't want to disturb Lance's rest   
"That's my fault. I... bit you. On the first night when I came. I'm so sorry. I cleaned it up and I don't know why I bit you, but there was blood..."

Running his hands up from where they rested near the small of Keith's back, Lance brought them forward and up along his chest them further up to cup his face   
"Keith... it's ok. I know how instincts get... I know if you hurt me, you feel it a million times deeper than anyone else... Now please, I want my husband"  
"Promise you'll tell me if it hurts. We had a lot of sex"  
"My body is ready... I'm already wet for you"  
"You're a fucking minx"  
Reaching up his left hand, Lance brushed his hair back from his face. Patting the spot down with a soft smile   
"And you... You're the most amazing husband... I know I was out of it, but I heard you... I heard what you said... I love you, my mullet haired idiot"  
Huffing Keith tried to hide how happy his accidental husband made him. Lance's love was so pure and all-encompassing. It'd been lost on Allura, or rather Allura's loss. How she didn't fall completely head of heels for Lance he didn't know   
"You're the idiot. All I've got are these two hands to protect you... but I can't protect you from this"

Moving, Lance took Keith's hands in his  
"You have these two hands to protect everything that I hold dear. You use these two hands to come home to me, ok? We need to talk, but right now I need you to take this pain away"  
Keith's bottom lip wobbled. The thought of leaving again hitting him like a Galra cruiser in the part of his brain filled with his abandonment issues and feelings of shortcomings   
"I don't want to leave you... let me take you back to bed and do this properly"  
"Such a romantic"  
Bopping Lance's nose, Lance made to bite at his finger  
"Only for you"

Laying Lance out on their bed, his husband was a masterpiece. His body littered with the various marks Keith had left across his skin over the last moment. Some had already healed and were gone, like where his fingernails had broken the soft skin over Lance's jutting hips, the smaller love nips had stayed. He'd lost weight again, even more over the movement. He'd have to spend the next movement fattening his husband up again.

*  
As Keith bottomed out, Lance's back arched as he moaned in pleasure. His long legs wrapping around Keith's waist as his husband slowly drew back and thrust back in carefully, a jolt running through his body as his husband hit his sweet spot. After a movement of this, he should have been tired of sex. He was tired of sex. He was tired of everything in general, yet when Keith had come to rescue his dumb arse from the floor, the sight of his mostly naked lover had him growing wetter than when he'd woken from dreaming of his lover. Keith had been so good to him. Way too good to him. Far better than he believed he deserved. Having been able to finally put it all into words, he found himself unable to convey the magnitude of his gratefulness. The man between his legs truly loved him. Truly treasured him.

Riding him slowly, Keith's hands roamed across his body. Occasionally he'd stop to press a kiss to some part he'd deemed of his affections deserving, but for the most part, Keith had a weird smiling sex face on that was adorable. It was so far gone from the shyness he'd held when losing his virginity. He'd grown confident. He loved to touch as much of Lance's body as he could. Keith's warm hands felt as if he was wiping away the memories of everyone else who'd touched his skin. No longer did he jump or flinch when Keith would whisper near his ear. No longer did Keith's scent of voice blend with theirs... He felt better for having shared his heat with Keith, despite the voices in the back of his head continually pointing out how much of a burden he was to his husband. He hadn't been wrong through. His heat had been the worst one he'd ever had. Normally he could make himself get off the floor to take care of himself in simple ways such as drinking water, yet with his husband there it was like some invisible wall had shattered and his body knew Keith would take care of his useless form.

Feeling Keith kissing him, Lance immediately responded by deepening the kiss as he rolled his hips. Out of everywhere, his hips felt it the most. He'd been surprised at the feeling of being stretched so wide as Keith slotted between his legs. He wasn't sure his arse would ever go back to normal. Keith had felt like... he was big. Even if his human-looking dick only looked a little bigger than normal, it was deceptive as hell. That thing grew so big that felt like he'd been impaled in all the best ways. The thing deep in the back corners of his brain that controlled his heat loved it. The way Keith would swell and catch. That thing near the base of his dick that made it hard to pull out. The feeling of Keith filled him with his spunk... He wanted to feel all of it all over again. Whining into the kiss, he tried to sit up and on Keith's lap. Instead of getting the message, Keith stopped altogether drawing a frustrated whine from Lance's lips  
"Babe?"  
"I wanna sit in your lap"  
"You don't need to..."  
"I want to... want up"

Keith snorted at his childish exclamation, yet still pulled him up as he sat back. Whimpering as he let his weight fall, Keith seemed to be buried impossibly deeper within him, stroking up the embers of his heat into a fierce fire in his gut. Placing both hands on Keith's shoulders, he forced him down, starting to riding him hard and fast, his mouth hung slightly open. Fuck. It felt good. Like Keith's dick was made to him every good bit inside of him. Plus the look of pure pleasure on Keith's face was worth it. He loved his husband. He loved the little pants and growls he gave, and the way he'd try to match Lance's rhythm knowing bottoming from the top would wear him out ridiculously fast. Bringing his left hand up, he gripped his erection, whining as he started to jerk himself off. He couldn't do any of this without Keith. Keith was the one that made this body tolerable  
"Babe... babe, I'm going to come"  
Nodding quickly, Lance wasn't going to last much longer. His body's only thoughts were on being bred by Keith which meant pleasing his husband by performing well. Even if Lance had vaguely figured out as much, his body and his mind still weren't communicating. He wanted to fuck because he was horny. That's what it came across as  
"Gonna... come... fuck... fuck... Keith... ah... uh! Ah! Ah!  
His toes curled as he came, stuttering out his moan as three hard pulses sent cum across Keith's stomach and chest. Half rising as he started to come, he dropped hard and bonelessly back down, Keith now deeply inside of him where warmth started to form. He wasn't entirely sure he could feel Keith coming or if it was psychosomatic from knowing he was. He liked to think he could. It made his belly feel warm and full in all different ways from eating, or being used like a cum dumpster. It was a good kind of full that turned bad the moment Keith pulled out. That was when the panic and terror would set in. He was beyond grateful that Keith hadn't let him sleep messy. His skin had to be as clean as possible. Even if it was an irrational fear, he couldn't get the idea of being fucked in his sleep by someone he didn't want out his head. His mind couldn't put two and two together even in heat with Keith, in a locked room with no one else having entry. Waking up with cum across him equated to someone touched him without permission.

Licking his lips, he let himself be cuddled by Keith enjoying the steady thumping of his racing heart. His stubborn husband had such a kind soul beneath all the emo prickliness. He just wanted someone to see him for him, and to love him for it. And he did. Rubbing his cheek against Keith's chest, Keith laughed softly  
"Enjoying yourself?"  
"Mmm... just thinking about you"  
He heard the skipped beat of Keith's heart. That tiny moment of panic that raised his husband's pulse a tad more  
"Me?"  
"Yeah. I love you... you make everything more bearable"  
"You..."  
"I had you worried for a moment, did I? I heard your heart skip a beat for me, babe"  
"With the amount of worry you put me through, I'm surprised my heart hasn't stopped"

It was a joke. It was just a joke. He knew it was a joke... yet his frazzled emotions didn't know it was a joke. Tensing in Keith's hold, he squeezed his eyes closed tightly as he tried to fight from crying  
"Babe? You ok?"  
Sniffling, he was losing the fight. Tears dripping on to Keith's chest. His husband's voice was soft but firm  
"Hey... what are you thinking?"  
"I'm sorry... I want to be good... better. I don't want to make you worry"  
"You are good and you are doing better"  
"I know you were joking, so if I'm doing better, why am I crying?"  
"Because you're exhausted from your heat"  
"I'm so tired... this between us... it isn't over is it?"  
Keith hugged him tightly, burying his face in Lance's hair  
"Work sucks and I hate leaving, but even if it spelled the end of everything in existence, I could never give you up"  
Allura had... she'd left him behind like this...  
"I'm not Allura"  
Quiznak. He hadn't meant to say that out loud   
"I know..."  
"But you're right we really need to sit down and work this out. Daehra said you're not sleeping properly and pushing yourself too much"  
"Daehra has a big mouth"  
"Lance"  
The way Keith said his voice, it was like he was commanding him to explain without raising above a loving whisper  
"I have to. If I stop I think too much... I don't have the pills anymore and it's... it's really hard getting out of bed knowing you're not here... days are longer here, remember... I have to wait longer for news that you're ok... and I don't want you quitting work. I don't want you thinking about me all the time because I should be better now! It was three movements... not my whole life"  
"You were tortured. You were tortured and you don't know how long they actually held you because space around here is hinky. You're allowed to still be healing..."  
Shaking his head, Lance nosed at Keith's chest. He'd already thought about that in the past, more than he wanted to admit. He'd never truly, one hundred per cent know how long he was out and used for their pleasure. He didn't need Keith adding to his worry, and by default, worrying himself more  
"I don't want to talk about it anymore..."  
"Alright. We can talk later"  
Good. His throat felt too raw as it was. Moaning hadn't helped... Dios... he'd been such a slut for his husband during his heat... Keith had to be a bigger pervert then he gave him credit for.

*  
Waking on the fourth day after Lance's heat ended, Keith found their bed devoid of his husband's warmth. Lance was still weakened from his heat, and following the advice of his instincts, he'd stayed with his husband in their room knowing that Lance didn't have the physical strength to protect himself. He certainly had the mental strength, stubbornly shuffling around their room and insisting that he could feed himself. Messaging Daehra to let her know that Lance's heat had passed, she'd enquired as to when they would be returning to the outside world. Keith wanted to give it until the end of the movement, Lance didn't appreciate being babied... his husband's sulking lasting a whopping 5 doboshes before he scooted back in their bed and let Keith hold him.

Climbing out their bed, the half-Galra could hear water running meaning Lance was in the shower. Letting himself into their bathroom, he found Lance curled up in the corner of the shower, apparently sleeping. Shaking his head, he killed the flow of now cool water and squatted down by Lance, not caring that his sweat pants were getting damp as he took Lance's face in his hands, cringing at the lump his fingers found just above the hairline on the left. Soooo not sleeping   
"Lance, babe?"  
Tapping Lance's face, sleepy blue eyes blinked at him  
"Babe, what happened?"  
"Seizure..."  
Semi slurring but not quite Keith's heart fell at the Cuban's answer. He'd prayed that by some miracle they'd vanished off the face of existence. He'd also been incredibly grateful to the powers that be that Lance hadn't had one during his heat  
"Did the seizure happen in the shower or in bed?"  
"Brushing my teeth... think I hit my head... wet myself..."  
"Why didn't you call me?"  
"Didn't pass out... 'nd was embarrassed"  
Usually, Lance's seizures had him out for vargas like his panic attacks did  
"Ok... I'm going to help you up now... and I'm going to take you to see Daehra. Just to make sure you're all ok"  
"'m fine. You're fussing. This wall and I are besties"  
"You're such a dork, you know that right"  
"Mmm... I'm a dork with a wall as a best friend. Winning in life right now"

Hefting Lance up and over his shoulder, before he could complain further, Keith carried him back to their bed. Sitting him on the edge, he pointed his finger at his husband   
"Stay"  
Raising an eyebrow, Lance yawned as he dropped backwards  
"'m not Kosmo"  
"No. Kosmo... well, I can't say he's better trained... but he usually stays in bed"  
"He's a menace"  
"He takes after your side of the family"  
"Can't deny that..."  
"Nope. Now, I'm going to dry you and we're going to go see Daehra"  
"Fiiiine... wake me up when we get there"  
Reaching down, Keith pulled Lance back up to sit up  
"Whope! Nope. No sleeping just yet. Gotta get your head scanned first"  
"Why? It's already fucking broken"  
"Not broken, just a little muddled"  
"I fucking suck"  
"Ok, that's it. No more talking. Just sitting"

Helping Lance to the med room, because his husband was a stubborn shit who wouldn't let him carry him, Daehra met them there. With more space than on the Telula, Daehra had more toys than Keith remembered, her face practically shone with pride as caught Keith looking around the space   
"I'll be taking on my own proper staff soon. Coran made a lot of these supplies possible for us. Now, Lance, how did you manage to hit your head when Keith's been looking after you?"  
Lying himself down on the examination table, Lance lazily waved a hand  
"Seizure... I was brushing my teeth"  
Grabbing her holopad, Daehra synched with the scanner above the examination table  
"Do you know how long it lasted?"  
"Few ticks... I didn't pass out..."  
Keith interjected   
"I found him sleeping in the corner of the shower. I don't know if he's out of it from hitting his head or the seizure"  
Pouting, Lance closed his eyes   
"Dobber... 'm fine, Dae just a bit sleepy"  
"I'll be the judge of that. How was his heat"  
waving his hand, he hoped Dae appreciated the effort  
"It was fine..."  
"I was asking Keith, not you. Now lay there and behave yourself"  
Snorting at Daehra bossing Lance around, Keith waited for the soft hum of the scanner to stop before taking his husband's hand in his  
"It was different from what I expect, but now we've been through one together, I think I've got a better idea of what to do next time"  
"I'd like to know more. If we can isolate the compounds that directly neutralised his heat..."  
"No"

Lance didn't let Daehra finish her train of thought, despite the fact that Keith was interested in what she had to say. He didn't want to suppress his husband's urges, or make Lance feel ashamed of his body. But that didn't mean he didn't want Lance to not have the option if he chose  
"Lance..."  
"No drugs..."  
"Babe, Daehra only wants to help"  
"No drugs... no pills... I don't want... them"  
"These are...  
"Keith, no"  
"Babe, I'm not trying to force you. I want you to be safe, well and happy. I want you to have the option of them in the future"  
"I don't want any pills! I don't want anything in my system!"  
"You..."  
Getting annoyed, Lance pulled his hand away   
"You don't get it, Keith... it's like... you being stabbed when you love knives so much. Now imagine you're in a room surrounded by people holding your precious knives and they all want to stab you with them... it's safer to stay away..."  
Keith hadn't been through addiction and Lance had no idea how start explain the urges that came with it  
"I understand where you're coming from... I only want you to be healthy. I love you"  
Pouting, his traitourous heart skipped a beat. Stupid Keith and his stupid love... He didn't want to feel happy, he wanted to feel understood  
"I love you, even when I'm mad at you"

Humming, Daehra tapped on her holopad  
"It's nice to see you're both as lovesick as usual. Lance, it's all surface damage. Your skull is as thick as it's always been. Your vitamin levels are down across the board, and you're dehydrated and a tad malnourished. That's to be expected given you and Keith have been so busy. I'm going to start a saline drip line. No drugs, just a bit of water to hydrate your cells"  
"No drugs"  
Daehra nodded with a smile  
"No drugs... Keith... should have a line too. He was really tired Dae"  
Keith crossed his arms  
"I'm fine, babe"  
"Don't listen to him... I don't think he slept much either..."  
Sure, he hadn't slept much but he'd eaten and made sure to keep his fluids up the best he could. Staring down at his husband, Lance opened his eyes to shoot him a pleading look. Quiznak. He couldn't say no to that  
"Alright. Scooch over"  
"You might have to do the "scooching", I'm sleepy"  
"So demanding"

Manoeuvring Lance into his arms, Keith watched as Daehra prepared the IV bag for Lance. Taking a few ticks to doze off, Keith waited for Lance's breathing to even out  
"I know he said no drugs, but have you got anything to help with his vitamin and mineral levels?"  
"I was going to give him a herbal solution to help, but I think we both had the same idea about waiting until he fell asleep"  
"I tried to get him to take his pills during his heat, but he ended up throwing them up and panicking. I was thinking next heat that an injection would be easier, I could give him those while he slept"  
"It looks to me you both could use more sleep"  
"He's pretty much slept nonstop since it ended. I think we were both feeling it towards the end there"  
"It's good to see him resting. Do you know how much more time you have off?"  
"At this moment, you're the only one I've contacted via comms. Have you heard anything?"  
"Your mother checked in to make sure you arrived. Shiro also tried to call. The others were concerned when they couldn't reach Lance"  
"Others?"  
"From what I understand Pidge, Shay and Hunk. For your group call?"  
"Oh..."  
"I told him that you were both spending time together and unavailable at the moment. I want you to make sure he eats after this"

Nuzzling Lance's hair, his husband flinched in his sleep as Daehra inserted the cannula  
"I have been. His throat's been pretty tender from it all, not that that stops him"  
"And his more intimate areas?"  
Keith had the decency to blush... he'd pretty much wrecked Lance's arse repeatedly as he drilled him on any surface that would take their weight  
"A little bit of tearing, but he's been healing fairly well. I should probably get you to double-check the wound on the back of his neck. I bit him pretty hard"  
"If there was any kind of infection, the scanner would have picked it up. It didn't heal immediately?"  
"No. Possibly because all his energy was going into his heat..."  
"We'll take a little look at that when it wouldn't result in you having to let him go. He has missed you very much"  
Smiling fondly at his lover, the feeling was very much mutual   
"I miss him too. I feel like everything I feared is coming true with this outpost. We're both working so much. I thought I'd be able to use here as a base, but I'm so busy on Daibazaal or with missions that I'm not home as much as I want to be"  
"As long as you know this is your home"  
"Wherever he is, is home. How're things around here? Did you hire..."

Coming at him with a second saline bag, Keith wrinkled his nose as the cannula was inserted in his vein. Both he and Lance had relatively obvious veins in the crooks of their elbows. The ones on his hands were better... but hands always hurt a stupid amount in comparison   
"... Did you hire a new cook? Or make a decision?"  
"Shiro said he'd send someone out from the Atlas to help, but I've narrowed it down to two"  
"You should hire both of them..."  
"You haven't seen their credentials"  
"I trust your judgement. If I never trusted you, I wouldn't have let you touch Lance"  
"I seem to remember in the beginning you were quite against it"  
"And I seemed to remember in the beginning your English was ridiculously formal. We've both changed"  
Daehra giggled  
"I think honestly Lance has changed the most. Not touching was the very basis of our professional relationship. He always supported us and our endeavours"  
"He was always the glue that held Voltron together. Even when he couldn't see it himself... we all treated him like shit without realising... I wish I could go back and tell him how I actually felt, instead of feeding his silly rivalry game..."  
"He's happy... most of the time. He still gets hung up on the negatives though... He's happy enough when he's busy, and not thinking about you"  
"I hate not being here... I feel like I'm missing so much. We agreed on a decaphoeb, but it doesn't feel like it's working... Mum's got me training new recruits, and it's... frustrating. I can't take Lance to Daibazaal because it messes with his senses. I can't take him on missions because I don't want to put him in danger... Kolivan would have a heart attack if I even suggested it..."  
"Have you talked to him? Told him that?"  
"More than once..."

Silenced by Lance mumbling in his sleep, Keith hushed him as his husband softly whimpered "Klearo" and "no"  
"I'll leave you two to rest. Please join us in the bar if Lance feels up to it"  
"I think I'm going to take him to the kitchen. He'll start insisting on working again if he gets the chance"  
"I wouldn't put it past him. Do you mind if I let Lucteal know how Lance is? He's been worried"  
"Yeah. Let him know he's ok. Or he'll be ok. I'll have to start doing the call around. It's probably been movements already"  
"It's been a little over one movement of our time. His heats last approximately one movements of your time"  
"I keep forgetting your days are longer here..."  
"His heat essentially lasted 4 of our days. Now, I expect you to make sure he takes it slowly. And I expect you to spend some quality time with him"  
Keith nodded, he was in absolutely no rush to go anywhere  
"Yeah. That's the plan"

*  
When Lance woke they were still in the med room. Keith was being sappy as usual, kissing the spot where he'd just removed his cannula  
"Dork"  
Sprung in the act, Keith was adorable as he flushed   
"You were supposed to be sleeping"  
"Mmm... was. But my husband was being adorable and I don't want to miss that"  
The throbbing, lingering headache that had plagued him since his heat ended had finally passed. When he'd collapsed in the bathroom, he'd thought it from that initially. Whatever Daehra had given him wasn't just simple saline  
"How long?"  
"She ran the bags on a slow drip so about 3 vargas. Your colour looks better. How do you feel?"  
Humming, Lance took a moment to assess his body. He could feel his fingers and toes, which was a great start  
"Everything's accounted for... my head feels better"  
"That's good... up for some food?"  
The part of that was "up" or at least part up wasn't up for food. Sex should have been the last thing he wanted now  
"Yeah... food sounds good. I feel like I could still sleep for a phoeb"  
"You can sleep as much as you like after you've led me to the kitchen"

Lance's heart fell a little at his husband's words. This was supposed to be Keith's home, yet his husband didn't even know his way around the outpost. Now that his heat had passed, Keith had no real reason to delay his return to Daibazaal... They'd both be going their separate ways until Keith had time to see him again... Biting down his feelings, Lance forced himself to sit up, cautious as he slowly made to stand unaided. His legs still felt like they were barely in their sockets, and now that he was standing the fact he was semi-hard was painfully obvious thanks to the sweat pants he was wearing. No one ever warns you of the risks when you go commando in sweats  
"Babe?"  
Waving off Keith's concern, he didn't want to be touched. If Keith laid his hands on him, Lance was scared he might resort to physically begging him not to leave  
"I'm fine. The kitchen isn't that far from here and I have a craving for something meaty"

Simonne and Marla were both in the kitchen when Lance led Keith into the space. Giving them a small wave, he ignored Keith in favour of raiding the cupboards and freezer for what he was looking for. Being in a commercial-sized kitchen wasn't anything like cooking at home. There was a distinct lack of homely charm that he couldn't get used to. Plus, the big walk-in freezer designed to lock when the hit the latch leaving him perpetually scared either himself or his staff would freeze to death... He'd kind of wanted the cook they'd had for a few movements to end up in there in order to cool his temper off. The man had big dreams so he'd given him a chance, but Lance soon regretted it after seeing him lose his temper at Tobias for returning a dish because it'd been essentially raw. Tobias didn't deserve that. Giving him a verbal and written warning, two quintants later the man had quit because someone else had a problem with their meal. In Lance's opinion, the menu was too big. People came here to drink and sleep, eating was a far off thought and most people wanted something they could eat one-handed while drinking. Cutting their menu down to 5 mains and changing seasonally made more sense. 

Gathering up the ingredients, Lance placed them down on the long bench in the middle of the room. Not sure of what to do with himself, Keith was leaning against the bench with his head in his hands. Trying not to stare at his husband, because God it was cruel how ripped and perfect Keith was, Lance jumped when Keith interrupted the silence   
"What are you making?"  
"Burgers. I've already done the patties when we had a fresh load of mince. So it's nothing fancy"  
Keith leaned further into his hands, scratching at the scar from his fight with Kuron in an unconscious manner  
"Can I help? I came home to help... and I'm supposed to be taking care of you. It's in the job description"  
Lance's took offence to Keith's joke. He was completely done with the voices in his head. He'd known Keith for years. He'd literally told Keith that he shouldn't be making decisions for himself when it came to himself because honestly his hatred still ran deep. Taking a moment, he hated that Keith wasn't pushing because he knew Lance was thinking  
"You can rinse the lettuce and tomatoes. They both need to be sliced... I'll do the onions, beetroot and the buns. I know there's a jar of pickles around..."  
Onions were the perfect excuse if his stupid mind decided he needed to cry again. He wanted to cook for Keith. He wanted it to be good for his husband. Plus, he wanted to prove to himself that he could handle something as simple as making lunch for them  
"Alright. Oh. Daehra said she was going to let Lucteal know you're up and around again. I'll have to call mum. She tried to call us. Personally, I think she's going to finally admit she's pregnant while we're both together"

Lance fumbled the bun he was removing from the bag  
"She's what?"  
"I only think she is... she hasn't confirmed it. I think that's why she's got me training the new recruits"  
Lance rolled his eyes. He hated that Keith didn't seem to get it  
"Babe, your mum's got you training the recruits because of those mad skills you've got. And because she trusts you. She needs someone she trusts to pass on the Blade technique-ee things you've all got going on over there"  
""Technique-ee?" I don't think that's a word"  
"I do. It's the best word for all your ninja stuff you do. That's great about Krolia, right?"  
And not so great for them as a couple. Krolia would need Keith more and more as her pregnancy progressed. And depending on when she was due, Keith would probably need to stay on extra until she was back up on her feet again  
"I mean... yeah. I think it is. I thought it was ok before I went home with you, but now I'm kind of really hoping she is... I want to spoil my sibling"  
"Someone's got babies on the brain"  
"No! No. Not like that! Not for a few more years... I mean... I'm just happy for her"  
Keith's words stung a little, so without much in-depth thought on the matter Lance nodded, moving the conversation along  
"Yeah, Krolia's going to have the cutest baby. I mean, I feel sorry for the kid having you as a big brother. You're pretty much perfect. That kid's going to have a lot to compete with"  
"Pfft. You're the perfect one"

Giggling in the corner, Lance had forgotten the two maids were in the kitchen. It was lucky he hadn't opened his big mouth about his heat. Rolling the lettuce and two tomatoes over to Keith, his husband collected the items and moved towards the sink  
"I kind of hope they look like Acxa. That'd be adorable"  
"Or Krystaal. If they're a boy... Plus, just think about it. We could totally pull a Lotor and send them off to age up and take control of the empire when I retire"  
Resisting the urge to throw something at Keith, the knives in the block just off to the right were all pretty appealing. He knew Krystaal was cute... but he hadn't seen her. Besides Acxa had her moments. Mostly whenever she saw Veronica and blushed  
"That tooooooootally worked out great for Lotor... So no. You can't send your sibling off to age up. Plus, they're really cute when they're babies and all chubby. Nadia used to cry for hours, which isn't that cute, but she'd settle for me. She'd spend hours sleeping on me if she could. Like you and Juana"  
"That was a freak incident brought on by all the love in your household. Did Miriam teach you how to make burgers?"  
"She did, then Hunk showed me a different way. I'm not saying mami can't make burgers, but a burger has to taste like a burger and not like sausage meat"  
"Oooh. I'm telling mami"  
"We both know you wouldn't. Here, wash this for me"

Throwing Keith the onion he'd picked out, his husband washed and threw it back like they been spent every day of their married life in the kitchen and were well-seasoned pro's as Lance grabbed a knife from the block. Lance wasn't sure how many more days like this they'd get. Krolia needed Keith more than he did. His mental health didn't matter as much as her and his possible new sibling. Keith would make an amazing big brother now that all his sharp edges had been carefully rounded off. No. What Lance needed was to pull himself out his flunk on his own. He needed something to make up for that missing high, that wasn't Keith's touches and kissed because they'd be walking out the door soon enough with his husband. Dios... he was being such a petty bitch. Keith hadn't even left yet. Slicing through the onion he forgot to leave the end on. Barely half a dozen ticks passed before his eyes were watering. Sniffling, he forced himself not to wipe at his eyes lest he wipe onion juices into them. Sometimes in life, you needed to have a good cry on your own, and that's what his head was telling him he needed right now. Just to cry it out and reassess how he was now that his wretched heat had passed   
"Dude, are you crying?"  
Nodding  
"I've been onioned. They're from Daehra's garden... which you haven't seen yet. I've got to show you while you're still here. She's even started working on cultivating desert and drought-tolerant plants to take home. We went for a run out to collect cuttings. Half of them didn't strike but the ones that did look pretty cool"

Returning with the lettuce and tomatoes, Keith frowned at him  
"You didn't tell me that"  
"It was when we picked up that guy who was wanted on Erathus for unpaid parking fines... like two phoebs ago I want to say. You know, the one who threw Lucteal against a wall so he smacked him over the head with his staff... I swear I told you"  
"You didn't"  
Lance would bet his life on it that he did, purely because of how funny it was at the time. The man had no idea that Lucteal had caught on fast when it came to training with his staff. He was just lucky Lucteal hadn't undone the middle and drawn his blades   
"Yep. I know I did. I bet if you checked your comms, you'll find a pic. Lucteal took the commission for the bounty. I mean, it's not he hasn't picked up GAC before, but Daehra and I were busy being proud parents and now I'm rambling... I'm sure I did. It was after the volcano, but before... I don't know what came next. I think we some rebels here after... nope. It's gone. You need a knife. You can use the one from your boot on my food"  
Keith rolled his eyes at him, playfully snarking  
"I would have sterilised it first. I'm not some heathen"  
"You probably wouldn't have remembered until halfway through. You know what, let's make Daehra and Lucteal lunch too"  
"I thought we were eating alone?"  
"And I thought my husband would see the issues with smearing toe jam on our lunch"  
"Technically it's dinner"

Raising the pitch of his voice, Lance was exceptionally mature with his response  
"Mem em meme me... Technically it's dinner. Look at me, I'm Keith! I can actually keep track of the time. With my grizzled body and stylish mullet..."  
"It's not a mullet!"  
"It is if I say it is"  
"It doesn't work that way"  
"It does too!"  
"Does not! It's a goddamn mullet!"  
"It's grown out!"  
"So you admit you went through puberty with a mullet!?"  
"I admit nothing! Why are we yelling!?"  
Lance simply shrugged  
"Because I'm right and you're wrong"  
"No. You're being a stubborn dick"  
"Well, this stubborn dick is making lunch for his mullet-wearing husband. If that's not you, you can fend for yourself"  
"Wha... huh? No"  
"Then get to work"

Making extra for Daehra and Lucteal, lunch was nice. Simonne and Marla had left them to enjoy their meal together, so Keith had decided to be an adorable little shit. Wrapping his arms around him while he'd grilled both burger patties, Keith had peppered kisses to his neckline, not at all helping his with the problem in his pants, or his anxieties over the fact that Keith was leaving soon. When their meal was done, Lance grabbed both extra meals, having Keith hold the door for him as he headed out to the bar.

The wolf whistles from a few of his usual customers didn't go over well with Keith. Smiling through the assault of scents, he gave his "admirers" a nod before moving down to join Daehra near the register  
"I made you lunch. How's business?"  
Sighing at him as he placed the plates down, Daehra finished up the purchase she was working on  
"I thought I told Keith not to let you go back to work"  
"You wound me. I made you lunch, and this is how you thank me"  
"Keith should have been making lunch. You need to rest"  
He'd been resting. He'd done the sleeping thing. He'd done the med room thing. Now he wanted to play at doing the "normal" thing  
"I'm fine. I feel heaps better. Take a break, Keith and I can take over here. Where's Lucteal at?"  
"The training room"  
Sounded about right   
"Why don't you go get him and have lunch here?   
"Because Keith looks positively murderous behind you"

"I don't look murderous. I simply don't want men wolf-whistling at my husband"  
Daehra laughed lightly   
"Careful Keith, your possessive side is showing"  
"Well... he's my husband... it took me long enough to finally catch him. I'm not about to let him go off with some random"  
Keith sounded truly pissed about it all. Turning back to his husband, he drew him into a deep kiss before Keith could object. Looping his arms around his waist, and grabbing his arse to pull him closer, the kiss left Lance a little weak in the knees as some of the patrons laughed, while others cheered at them  
"See babe. Nothing to worry about. I talk about you enough that everyone here knows I'm yours. They were only trying to get a rise out of you"  
"I don't wan..."  
"Babe. Don't you talk about me?"  
Misinterpreting Keith's silence to mean "yes", Lance smiled as he placed a small kiss on Keith's still slightly parted lips  
"See. It's the same"  
"Alright... I'm... still having a few issues over coming out of your heat with you. Right now everyone here feels like a threat"  
"Probably because they are. Any number of people here right now could take us in a fight. And besides, every offer I've had I've turned down. You are the only one in the universe that has my express permission to touch me like you do. Now stop thinking too much"  
"I'm doing a "yo"u. Getting stuck in my head instead of being here"  
"You should enjoy being here. You won't be here much longer. Here, help me clean up the bar a bit. You can work on not scaring my customers away"  
"I'd rather take you back to bed"

"You two are gross. Get your hands off each other and get to work. Lance, I looked at getting some more staff in. The details are on the holopad down there. Keith, you know how to bus a table. Take this tray out there and do the rounds while I call Lucteal"  
Ducking his head, Lance smiled a genuine smile at Daehra   
"I love it when you get bossy..."  
"We both know that's a lie. If I can't get you to rest, I can at least limit your activities"  
"Yes, ma'am. Keith, you heard the lady. Time to work"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whooo hooooo... next chapters got me excited because Shiro fiiiiiiiiiiinally makes his appearance

Bar work... was worse than mission work. The constant being polite and smiling when what he really wanted to do was just shoot people... Keith was exhausted by the time he collapsed face-first into their bed. Disappearing into their bathroom, Lance seemed in a much better mood. His husband's scent had been all over the place. One tick he was horny, the next he was angry, or suddenly sad. He didn't know how to keep up. Plus, he kept being scolded for glaring at the customers, which wasn't his fault. He didn't like them teasingly asking "how good Lance was in bed", or jokingly saying "I would love to have a piece of that". He wasn't like his husband. He barely spoke to anyone he didn't know about Lance. He didn't randomly brag because he didn't know what would be appropriate and what would be crossing the line. He respected his husband too much to just blurt to some random about how wonderful Lance was... also... he didn't want to share. He didn't want someone taking him away because of how wonderful he was.

"Keith! Call your mum! I'm going to take a shower!"

Ugh. That was like effort. Effort that led to him nearly falling off the bed sideways in search of his comms. Giving up to gravity, he "gracefully" slid to the ground, comms in hand as he bothered to check the messages from his mother properly. Most of it was boring coalition crap. He really couldn't be bothered with reading, so opened up the call log and video called his mother. 

Almost as if she'd been waiting for his call, Krolia answered with a smile on her face  
"Keith! How's Lance?!"  
Snorting at his mother, he tried to look hurt but was too exhausted to pull it off  
"He's good. He'd recovered a few quintants ago, so I've had him resting"  
"Is he there?"  
"He's in the shower"  
"Aw. How can I say hi to my two sons if one isn't there?"  
"You could say hi to this one? You know, the one you produced"  
Krolia rolled her eyes at him  
"Someone's grumpy. What's the matter?"  
"Nothing... Fine. It's just outpost stuff..."  
"Mmmm? What's happening?"  
"Everyone keeps hitting on Lance"  
Having the nerve to laugh at him, he wanted to punch his mother in the arm for it  
"It's not funny"  
"For you, I suppose it's not. What does Lance say?"  
"He's bragged to everyone about me apparently... it doesn't stop them though"  
"Then it's fine. As long as you trust Lance, I'm sure he can handle a few customers"  
"It's them I don't trust. He shouldn't have to handle anyone"  
"You knew what he was getting into when he started the hotel side of the outpost. Now, what else is going on? You don't exactly look too happy to see me"  
"What? No. It's not like that. It's just been a long day, and you're the one who spammed my comms up. I have no idea what most of the messages are about"

Krolia's expression morphed into something more neutral   
"Ah... yes. We do need to talk about. The coalition have decided you're receiving an award over exposing what was happening with Kre'el and the others. I know we failed to locate the planet in question, but they feel you conducted a very thorough investigation, opening new avenues and raising new issues"  
Ugh. The last thing he wanted to think about was Kre'el. Her stupid photo was even up in the bar. Her, Lance, some other woman named Leah and Helo. Th'al had sent through a bunch from the Gilded Cage's surveillance systems  
"That was all Lance"  
"I did explain that, several times over actually. Because you've become the face of the next generation, they wish to use the press to push for further peace"  
"I don't want an award"  
"I'm sorry. We did raise an objection, but the ceremony will be going on about a phoeb after Allura day. They're planning on broadcasting from Altea on the day, then using images from that day during the ceremony. It's mostly celebrating Daibazaal and it's..."  
"Mum. I don't want this. Do you know what this is going to do to Lance when he finds out that they want to celebrate the death of his friends?"  
"Don't shoot the messenger. We tried to decline, but that only led to tension. We're now being accused of hiding information gathered during the investigation. It doesn't help that the ships now been destroyed, and now that the miner settlements have been reorganised its... well... complicated. They also wish to award you for your humanitarian work"

Lance was the one doing all quiznakking hard work. With all this, he was going to have to head back to Daibazaal and sort it all out. There was no way Lance wasn't getting any kind of recognition. If he had to get up there like a fool, his husband was doing the same damn thing  
"Humanitarian work can suck my dick"  
"Keith!"  
"You know this is crap! Lance did all that work. He traced the leads and followed everything up. You were there for that briefing"  
"I know! You don't need to take that tone with me. That's why I was hoping Lance was there so we could all discuss it... Why don't you bring him to Daibazaal?"  
"Because he's still recovering. I hope you know all this work is ruining my marriage!"  
Krolia sighed deeply  
"You can't run away from something you don't like. I'll try and talk to Kolivan. I agree that Lance should receive some kind of recognition, but I also have the feeling he'd turn it down. Talk to him and call me back about it. Oh, Acxa and Krystaal want to know when you're returning too. Acxa's requested leave to go stay with Veronica for a movement or so on the Atlas, I told her once you returned she'd clear to leave"  
Unfortunately, if he didn't leave, his mother could simply open a wormhole then collect him herself   
"I don't know when that's going to be..."  
"You did say Lance is doing better? Your time there is accelerated, correct?"  
"Yeah. It's time and a half here. Are you trying to tell me you can't do without me for a couple of movements"  
"Not at the moment. I should be thanking my lucky stars both of you haven't gone missing for phoebs this time..."  
"That wasn't our fault"  
Hearing Lance shuffling out the bathroom, Keith closed his eyes as he drew a deep breath   
"I didn't say it was... completely. You both still acted recklessly"  
Letting the breath out, Keith forced himself to sit up  
"I've got to go now. I'll be home when I can"  
His mother looked mildly annoyed   
"Alright. Tell Lance I said "hello". You're better off getting started as soon as possible with these preparations"  
"Mum, I told you I don't want..."  
Quiznak. Lance was right there  
"I'll call you later. Tell Kosmo I love him"  
"I love you, Keith"  
His mother stared at him until he finally relented  
"I love you, too"

Annoyed at the conversation, Keith tossed his comms across the room before forcing himself to climb off the floor. Thanks to the magic that was the maids, the washing he'd gathered up from their room had magically returned clean. Lance paid them all enough to keep their mouths shut, and he wouldn't have had them there if he didn't trust them. Whatever was going through Lance's head, his scent had shifted again, back to fear. Great. Juuuust what he needed.

Stripping down to his boxers, Keith slipped into his side of the bed with a yawn. Shuffling up behind Lance, his husband shifted away from his hold. Pushing his hand away before Keith could even wrap his arm around his waist  
"Babe?"  
"Not tonight"  
That was short and direct   
"Are you ok?"  
"Fine. How was mum Krolia?"  
Lance wasn't acting like everything was fine  
"The same as usual. Everything's a mess. It's the end of the world. The coalition wants this. The coalition wants that... it doesn't end"  
"The coalition wants to give you medal because Kre'el's dead"  
Oh... oh... no wonder his husband was frosting him out  
"You heard that"  
"Yeah. I was going to ask you something if you hadn't already called her. I heard everything from the start"  
"Babe... Lance, you know I don't want anything like an award. I don't see why they'd even want to give me an award. What happened isn't something to be celebrated"  
"Apparently it is"  
Having dropped his hand to rest right behind Lance's back, Keith walked his fingers slightly up  
"I'm not accepting anything"  
"You have to"  
"I don't"  
"You heard Krolia. Daibazaal needs the publicity"  
"Daibazaal can jump"

Pushing the blankets back, Lance moved to sit on the end edge of their bed, burying his face in his hands as he did  
"You know it's not that easy"  
"Daibazaal isn't a threat anymore. The coalition doesn't know what they're talking about"  
"The coalition that we all worked so fucking hard to form when we were Paladins... The coalition that was made up of the people with the biggest Galra issues... If you want peace, you need to keep showing the Galra doing good things"  
"Our lives aren't theirs to use"  
"They kind of are. Why do you think I like living out here away from all that? We're not even part of the coalition here. Erathus is on the verge because Shiro got the Atlas involved, but that would only be in a name anyway. They couldn't give two shits about the people out here"  
Sighing mentally, Keith crawled up behind his husband  
"I know that. But I'm serious. I don't want an award. I don't agree with this at all. I know politics is all pretty much a game, but the coalition can't throw this back in mum's face when they're in the wrong"  
"You're not getting it. You are the legendary Black Paladin. The first Galra-Human born. The hope for the future. You're young. Good looking. Have combat experience. Helped save the universe and are the son of the Rulers of Daibazaal. It is also widely known that you and Shiro and tight as fuck. There's a reason it couldn't be anyone but you because you're the future in the eyes of the media while we're all basically background noise. I wasn't lying when I said you were the future on that stupid game show. You are the future and it means you're going to have to go through with this for the greater good of the Galaxy. Even if you don't agree with it. Besides, your mother also mentioned your team's humanitarian work. I wouldn't be surprised if the coalition requested more half-Galra to accept awards or be present during the ceremony to promote peace"  
"These are our lives. Everything you went through is going to be lost and forgotten..."  
"As it should be! What are they supposed to do? Show me being fucked on the big screen? Lance is different from Leandro. Leandro did the work. Lance simply provided the body"

As Lance snapped at him, Keith saw red  
"Are you fucking serious right now?"  
"It is what it is"  
Climbing off their bed, Keith rounded his husband. Crossing his arms as he stared down at him  
"It isn't right!"  
"You ended a mass murderer in the eyes of the media. The story's already started to be forgotten"  
"And you're ok with that? With people forgetting what Kre'el went through?"  
"Of course I'm not! She deserved more! She wanted her and her people to survive! But her story won't create sensational headlines. It won't bring peace. How are people going to feel about the Altean's knowing Kre'el was Altean?! It won't just be Daibazaal that the coalition will start questioning"  
"If they trusted us, they wouldn't question us, to begin with!"  
"I know that!"  
"Then why can't you see where I'm coming from!?"  
"I never I didn't!"  
"You're not agreeing with me"  
"Because you're being narrow-minded! You have to look at the bigger picture here. It's more than us... You were always meant for great things Keith..."

Lance sounded lost and broken, like he didn't deserve to achieve anything in his life, and thought he never had  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Never mind. It doesn't matter"  
"Obviously it does, or you wouldn't be making such an issue out of it"  
"It doesn't matter because no matter how it plays, this is something we can't change. For the sake of peace in the future, you have to go through with this"  
"And what about the sake of the man I love?"  
Lance gazed up at him with pained eyes  
"When it comes to the fate of the universe, it doesn't matter how much you love someone"  
"It isn't right"  
"That doesn't matter. If any of the information relating to how I met Kre'el was to come out... for everyone to know... Keith, they'd know the kind of man you married. They'd know what I did to his officers. To him. The judgment of Shiro, Coran, Kolivan and Krolia would all be questioned. Why would they take the word of a man with a brain injury? It wouldn't matter what the truth was anymore. It'd all be about what story they can tell to gather the most support. If you fight this... if it causes Kre'el's comp..."  
Lance trailed off, his eyes widening   
"If if causes what? What is it?"  
"If it causes Kre'el's compatriots to make a move... The could turn the awards ceremony into a public declaration and provoke them. If they over emphasise whatever information they have, things will start moving again. They never found the planet. I haven't been keep in the loop regarding investigations carried out since I stepped back to put this marriage first. This could be speculation, yet I'm sure someone with the coalitions staff would have already thought of this"  
"That's even more reason to shoot this down"  
"Didn't you hear me. We can't. If you go to them and say we can't make this public, they're going to ask why. I'm one tiny spec of insignificant dust"

"Would you fucking stop putting yourself down! I'm sick to death of hearing it!"

Keith didn't mean to blow his temper again. Lance was so much more than he let himself believe. He definitely could have worded things better, especially when Lance fled back across the bed and over to the door to their room  
"Babe. You know what I mean. You know you're so much more than all these things you think you are. You're my husband. You're my husband and I fucking adore you. You're not insignificant. You're not any of those other words your anxieties tell you you are. I don't want things having to change for you. I don't want you going back to worrying who knows what. I want you to be comfortable, and safe..."

With his arms wrapped around him, Lance was visibly trembling. Stepping towards him, Lance held his hand up as he pressed himself against the door  
"Don't! Just don't!"  
"Babe..."  
How was this fucking fair? Lance was right. He knew he was right, but that didn't make Keith any less right either  
"I'm going to... go be somewhere else. I can't..."  
"You don't need to leave. This is our room"  
"I can't... I haven't been able to control my moods all day. If I stay..."  
Shaking his head, Lance changed tangent   
"...no. I can't stay... call Krolia and talk it through. Tell her I understand"  
"You're serious..."  
"It... it has to be done. Like the briefing. Maybe we'll be lucky and you'll just get some fancy award. Or maybe my spread legs will be all over the galactic media... I can't deal with this right. I don't want to fight you because I love you. And I know you're fighting for what you think is best for me... and I appreciate it. I really do. I'm going to take a walk... I can't be in here when it smells of your anger and hurt"  
His husband got it. He understood what Keith was trying to say. The half-Galra knew he should have been relieved, yet at the same time, he'd scared the hell out of Lance who'd admitted he hadn't been able to control his moods all-day  
"Lance..."  
"It's alright. Let's not spend what little time you have left here fighting. Krolia wants you home soon. I'm used to it"  
Lance's voice broke with emotion as he slammed his hand on the scanner for the door, disappearing outside and leaving Keith feeling like his heart was shattering. He knew he was being selfish. He hadn't planned to tell Lance immediately. He'd also intended to put off his return with whatever series of white lies he needed to spin. Why couldn't everyone butt out of their relationship? Why did the coalition have to think this was all a good idea? It was their lives. They weren't fucking puppets. Keith felt that instead of putting the issue to sleep, it was only going to bring the lingering embers back to life. If they stuck him in front of the press, the press were going to want the full story. Or they'd put enough pieces together to form a story they liked. Quiznak... If only he could go back in time.

*  
Having spent most of the night tossing and turning, Keith felt barely human as he dragged himself out of bed. He'd gotten a few vargas in, but without Lance there... in his arms, where he was supposed to be, it wasn't right. The bed wasn't right. They had their own spots, and that was where they were supposed to be. No matter what happened. 

Rubbing his eyes as he stumbled over to their wardrobe, his heart was broken all over again. Covered in a thin blanket, blood remained smeared on Lance's cheeks and arms. He didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know Lance had tried clawing his marks off his cheeks. His husband had told him he couldn't deal with things, and this was the end result. Ignoring the temptation to grab his comms up and send a photo of Lance to his mother to shove in her face how much of a bad idea this all was, Keith laid himself down on the edge of the wardrobe, reaching out to rest his hand on lance's chest. More than once he'd done exactly the same thing to escape reality. More than once his wardrobe had been his only source of safety and comfort. His heart pranged at the knowledge he knew what Lance would have been feeling when he climbed in there. Lance would have seen him on the bed and not wanted to disturb him, so chose the next place he felt safe. He didn't want to fight either. Lance was the single most precious person he had. He loved Shiro. He'd go through hell for the man... but Lance... if he lost Lance, he knew he'd lose his mind. Lance was his stability. Lance would never let him down or fall, even if it led to self-destruction.

Stirring under his touch, his husband's bottom lip quivered as he pulled the blankets up under his chin   
"I don't want to fight"  
"I don't want to fight either"  
"I know you love me. I do..."  
"I know"  
"You haven't even left and I'm already trying to act like you have so it doesn't hurt as much... I'm sorry I'm so selfish... the whole universe needs you"

Wriggling himself over and under the blanket, Keith pulled Lance up against him  
"You're not selfish. You're an idiot. Sometimes I don't know how you can love me as fiercely as you do. But I love you back just as much. You're my family. I was hesitant to ask, even before mum mentioned it, but do you think you might want to come to Daibazaal for a bit? It doesn't have to be long or any longer than you want..."  
Lance let out a weird gasped sob   
"I can't... I can't... I've lost my... I've lost my support again and I'm still trying to find my feet... I can't say how I'll react... I don't want to embarrass you... and I don't want... want to be sent back to step one all over again because I'm not strong enough. I make so many demands on you..."  
"Baby, you can always make demands. Let's face it, I'm probably going to honestly forget half the time. And I've probably hurt you dozens and dozens of times by forgetting as it is. But I don't care how many demands you make. I like it when you boss me around. I like it when you get all excited and start planning things out even though there's ages before it happens"  
"I feel like I talk at you too much... I feel like I shouldn't be messaging you at all when you're on missions... I know you turn your comms off and get them all when you come back... but doesn't that make me too needy?"  
"Lance, you're recovering. You need to breathe. I love those messages. I look forward to your messages. I appreciate when you keep me in the loop"  
"Do you?"  
"Of course. Why would you ask?"  
"B-because I thought you were going to dump me"

Keith blinked rapidly as he frowned. Why was he dumping the man who adopted him like it was as natural as breathing?  
"Why would you think that?"  
"Because I message too much... you tell me a little... and you love me... and I know you can't say everything but I feel so far out on the outside of your life. You're making all these memories with everyone else... that I won't ever know about or be a part of... I... think... you'd be happier if you'd never met me. You..."  
"Don't be an idiot"  
Lance didn't reply. One moment turned into three very long moments before Keith continued   
"You're my husband"  
"Who's like this... Who's brain-damaged and will probably keep having seizures for the rest of my life... you didn't sign up for this"  
"I don't care what I signed up for"  
"I do. All I want is you to be happy. No matter what it costs"  
"I want the same for you. I can't always answer your calls, but you're not alone. You can call mum, and Shiro, and Coran, and Mami, and Veronica, anytime you need. Mum and Shiro are the two that will probably know my schedule the best"  
"I get stupidly worried you're gone forever when I don't hear from you"  
"I get worried too. When I see you've signed up for a bounty, or you're off-planet"  
"I know you do... but sometimes it's nice to hear it... or to read it... I'm being demanding again. I honestly only really care to know you and your team are safe"  
"I'll try and work on it. You might need to remind me, but I'll try"  
Lance nodded with a loud sniffle   
"Thank you... You should... probably leave tomorrow... I don't want to say goodbye, but if Krolia is pregnant, she's dealing with enough as it is"

Keith bit down the tiny flash of anger at Lance telling him to go  
"One more quintant isn't going to make much of a change, let alone two"  
"It... it's hard enough to think of you leaving... I need to get back into my routine"  
"You're still recovering from your heat. It was a major strain on your body"  
"It was on yours too. You always, always get stuck looking after me"  
"That's not true. I seem to remember you carrying me around Kre'el's ship"  
"Because you had to rush to my rescue, to begin with"  
"Like you didn't have a plan all along"  
"I planned to die"  
"I... I know you did. Have... Things are better now, aren't they?"  
"Y-yeah... yeah... they're more tolerable"  
"Doesn't that mean I should stay around longer?"  
"It's only going to hurt more if you leave later... you should go"

Keith felt horribly torn. Again, he knew exactly what Lance was feeling. He didn't want to. It already felt far too hard to say goodbye, and he most definitely didn't want to go  
"Acxa is supposed to be going to stay with Veronica... I guess that means I'll be training the recruits with Zethrid and Ezor"  
"You're good with them"  
"I don't know about that. There are some real dumbarses in the group. Krystaal is probably the most competent. You'd really like them. They're not up with your sharp shooting skill, but I think they'd make it with a little more time and dedication"  
"You really like Krystaal, don't you?"  
"We get on pretty well. Krystaal is a lot like you. A selfless idiot who'd let themselves be blown up to protect everyone... you also have the same sense of weird humour... plus you're both not half bad looking. You're both tall... and smart... and quick thinkers able to adapt in the middle of the battle... buuuut, you're beautiful and my husband"  
Nudging Lance at his joke, Keith had no idea the poisonous barbs he'd filled Lance's heart with  
"It sounds to me like you have a crush"  
Rolling his eyes, Keith stole a kiss   
"Who needs a crush when I have my husband waiting all the way out here for me?"

Driving those thorns deeper, Keith was an idiot if he thought Lance was going to have the courage to confide in him after being compared to someone Keith was in contact almost all the time when on duty.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's heeeeeeeeeeeeere!

Sitting in the hospital waiting room, Lance's couldn't sit still. Bouncing on the ball of his left foot, his whole body was wracked with nervous energy. Keith had promised him he'd be at his appointment today. He'd messaged his husband the previous night to triple confirm it, then twice again that morning, only for Keith not to reply. But that was ok. His husband had sworn he'd be there... he'd sworn it and Lance believed him. Keith had missed his last major appointment two phoebs ago, though that hadn't been his fault, and the Cuban would completely forgive everything, provided Keith arrived within the next 10 doboshes... 9 doboshes... Dios... his thumbs hovered over his comms as he simply sent Keith "Keith?", for the third time that morning. It was bad enough he'd had to come to Altea for this appointment... and with Keith supposedly meeting him there, he'd left Daehra and Lucteal at home. He'd promised Coran they'd catch up after his quick scan... so where the quiznak was his husband?

When his name was called by the nurse, Lance was quick to ask if the next person in line was already there as he was waiting for his husband. The nurse was all smiles as she assured him they were... only, when two vargas had passed after the original scan time, Lance knew he couldn't keep putting it off. The look in her eyes had shifted from friendly reassurance to pity, leaving Lance feeling like the biggest quiznakking fool on the planet. Rushing out the hospital, he barely made it to the bushes by the door before throwing up. 

That was the whole reason he was there. 

He'd been warned that the injections to help ease him off the painkiller would leave him weak for up to 6 phoebs after it stopped, but now he barely had the strength to get out of bed. No matter how much he slept, his eyes burned like he hadn't, or he'd be throwing his guts up for vargas at a time. He wasn't stupid. Despite what anyone else might say. He'd done the math, and he'd done 5 different brands of tests, yet none of it felt real and he really didn't know how to cope with the idea of being pregnant with Keith's child. They were supposed to find out today. He was supposed to be there for the scan. He'd lied his arse off to everyone over why he'd been so sluggish and unfocused. Part of him desperately wanted to believe the lie and blame it all on the medication... even if he couldn't get away with it. If he was pregnant, he'd barely be a phoeb along by outside time. It'd been a phoeb and a half for him since his heat and his period had never come. When he threw up over his bowl of cereal, because the scent was all wrong, he'd taken the first test to simply ease his mind, knowing that it'd be one of the first things a doctor would ask.

Releasing he was throwing up at the front of the hospital, it really wasn't a good look. With tears spilling down his cheeks, he wrapped an arm around his waist as he stumbled the 50 or so metres to the first edge of the building where he could hide. Tugging his comms out, he tried Keith's number, sinking to his knees when his husband failed to answer. The rejection he was feeling from the call ringing out was nothing to soul breaking pain of being ignored by Keith when he needed him the most. This was their baby. He'd built it all up in his head. He didn't even know if Keith wanted kids or if all the talk about kids during his heat was because they were both high on the need to breed. Curling around his comms, he screamed at the stupid device before jerking back and moving to throw it, then stopping at the last tick. What if Keith had been hurt on his mission? What if his husband was laying somewhere bleeding out, unable to tell him? Feeling his breathing catching, he needed to know. He needed to call someone... Keith couldn't be hurt. He couldn't... he couldn't do this without his husband. This was Keith's baby... his husband had to know that it existed... he had to come back to them...

Trembling hard as he fought to breathe, his tears dripped onto his comms screen as he found Shiro's name in his contacts. Keith had made him swear that if he couldn't contact him, he'd call Shiro if he needed anything. Not knowing he'd hit video call, he broke down into open sobs as Shiro's face filled the small screen  
"He-... Whoa! Lance, hey... What's going on buddy?"  
"Ha-Have you... heard from Keith?"  
Wiping at his stupid leaking eyes, Lance sniffled and sobbed at the same time   
"He's on a training mission for the next... three quintants with no coverage. Didn't he tell you?"  
Shaking his head, it dimly lit a light somewhere in his brain that his husband did have a training mission coming up, but Keith had promised him. He'd messaged the previous night and promised   
"I... he said he'd be here... he p-promised!"  
"Lance, where are you? Are you at the outpost? You're having a panic attack and you need to calm down for me"  
"He said... he said..."  
Unable to breathe, his breath was stolen by the awful suffocating feeling that needing to vomit brought on. Throwing up by side, he whimpered as his stomach cramped in protest  
"Lance. Lance, where are you right now?"  
Collapsing back against the wall of the hospital, he sniffled, his throat burning and his nose feeling blocked as he did   
"A-Altea"  
"Altea?"  
"Have... an appointment... Keith was supposed to be here"  
"Lance, can you move? I don't want to end the call, but if you can't get to Coran..."  
He didn't want Coran's overly happy personality, or the man fussing over his condition   
"Don't want Coran... Keith... Keith said call you... I can't... can't move Shiro... I don't know what to do... I don't want to... I don't think I want to be alive anymore..."  
He didn't. Not if Keith wasn't, and not if Keith was going to reject him and their baby. He'd rather be dead than see the look of disgust on his husband's face   
"Fuck. Lance, stay on the line for me. Ok, buddy? I'm leaving right now, so stay on the line for me"

Dropping his comms next to him, Lance curled back in on himself. He knew being married was going to be hard with their jobs, but this was the second big appointment of his that Keith had missed. He'd promised to be at the first one but had to put his team first. He'd promised to be at this one too but now was nowhere to be seen. They barely saw each other as it was. Maybe Keith was finally sick of him? Maybe he didn't want him anymore, and didn't know how to tell him? They'd spent his heat together... and it'd been hard on his husband when Lance couldn't explain everything he was feeling when he was feeling it. He'd never shared his heat willingly before... Maybe Keith was so busy lately because he'd been scared off by how fucked up Lance's body was? He wanted his husband. He wanted Keith to love him like he loved the half-Galra, but did even deserve to be loved like that? Maybe Keith was picturing Klearo and his men fucking him like the slut he was? Would his husband believe it was his baby? Lance had slept with more people than Keith had...

When Shiro found him, Lance was still hidden just off the main gravel path in front of the hospital. Whimpering at the touch, his burning nose scrunched up the stench in Shiro's scent. It wasn't Keith's. It wasn't Keith's at all, forcing him up to kneel, Shiro pulled him against him, rubbing his back as he hushed him, reassuring him that he had him. Burying his face into Shiro's jacket, Lance could only continue to cry. His breathing still all over the place, but the universe hadn't been kind enough to let him pass out. Instead, he was left with lungs that felt useless and an aching chest that felt filled with glass. Rocking and hushing him, Lance had no idea how long they remained like that. He knew his mouth was moving between sobs, but the words weren't reaching his ears. Or rather, the sound of his own fear had rendered him deaf to anything but his pulse rate. 

When Lance's body finally went lax against Shiro, Shiro lifted him with ease. Ashamed of what had happened, and ashamed his brother-in-law had dropped everything for him, Lance hid his face against Shiro's neck as the man began to move from their hiding spot. The whole world was probably watching. They were probably all watching and laughing at the fucked up ex-Paladin who missed his husband. Carried inside, the next thing he knew was that he was being laid down on an examination bed. His eyes closed to guard against the burn, but mainly to hide from the shame of being there without Keith. Shiro took his right hand in both of his, as Lance was forced to let him go of him with a whine  
"Shhh. You're alright. I'm here..."

Nodding at Shiro, Lance was beyond exhausted before the stupid attack. The bags beneath his eyes so dark that he almost couldn't remember how they used to look. His head was throbbing from crying so much, yet his left hand had moved to protect his lower belly. As if could save his child from its messed up mother  
"I'm sure Keith's just fine"  
"He... didn't come"  
Coming out as a broke whisper, Shiro released his robotic hand from the hold to stroke Lance's hair back. He hated the touch, but revelled in the comfort, unsure how that could happen. Speaking softly, Shiro didn't seem to be patronising him as he replied   
"It's a movement long training mission. Are you sure he messaged you?"  
Sniffling, Lance nodded. His throat still felt ruined. His mouth all cottony  
"Check my comms... the code is Keith's birthday"  
Coughing at the dryness, Lance whined in discomfort, Shiro well into "Space Dad" mode   
"Excuse me, can we get some water over here?"

Shiro's request was filled, and a few moments later the man was helping him sip through a straw, then cruelly removing it before the taste of vomit was gone from his mouth   
"You'll be sick again if you drink too fast"  
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry you came all the way out here..."  
"Hey, I've got a wormhole generator. It's no big deal"  
"It is! Keith... Keith was supposed to be here. I had the whole thing planned... he promised, Shiro"  
"I know, but I'm here. What were you here for?"  
Squirming, all he wanted to was curl back up. He wanted to be home on the outpost, in Keith's arms  
"Abdominal scan... I've been sick lately... it was supposed to be at 10 in the morning... I waited... I kept saying he'd be there..."  
"Shhh... there's a nurse who's going to go check to see if we can do that scan now. Is that ok?"  
Nodding, Lance turned his head to try and hide his face against the pillow beneath it. There were a few moments of silence, before Shiro's soothing voice was back again  
"She's going to find out what's going on. How long have you been sick, now?"  
"I've been tired for the last 4 movements, my time..."  
"About 3 our time. And your stomach? You've been throwing up?"  
"Mmm... I know what's wrong... this was supposed to confirm it... I'm so fucking scared that Keith is going to hate me"  
Hiccuping, his bottom lip trembled   
"Shhh... my brother could never hate you. He adores you"  
"We hardly see each other anymore and I miss him... but he's so busy I can't tell him because I want him to be happy... I'm so tired Shiro... what if he wants to break up?"  
"Did you overdose? Is that what's wrong with your body? It's ok if you did, we can get you help..."  
So Keith had told Shiro that he'd dump him if Lance shot up again... His husband had promised to be there, no matter what. He was trying so hard... and it was hard...  
"Didn't... didn't overdose"  
"Lance..."  
The firmness was there, Shiro questioning if it was a lie, yet telling him that it was alright to admit that it was  
"I didn't... I didn't..."  
He didn't even want to take anything for his headache or for the nausea   
"Ok. Ok... ok, shhh. I'm sorry. I had to ask"  
"Keith was supposed to be here"  
"I know, kiddo. Maybe he thought he'd be back in time"  
"I haven't... seen him in 5 movements my time..."  
"But he calls you, right?"  
"He does... but he has so much work... when he's home, he's thinking about work... We said a deca-phoeb, but it's barely been 6 quintants and now this... he's going to be so mad"  
"Keith isn't going to be mad. He'd be madder if you didn't take care of your health"  
"I try..."  
"I'm sure you do... The nurse is back, do you feel up to answering some questions? She's holding a holopad"  
"Yeah... sorry... I'm sorry"  
"It's ok, you don't need to be sorry. I'm happy you reached out to me instead of trying to cope on your own"

The light of the room stung at his tender eyes as Shiro helped him sit up better. The nurse wasn't the same one he'd assured Keith was coming, easing some of the embarrassment he felt over this whole fiasco   
"Hey, Lance. I'm Meria. I see you're in for a lower abdominal scan today. Now, I've got all your notes and I just need to confirm a few things with you, is that alright?"  
"Can Shiro stay?"  
Meria nodded with a smile  
"Of course he can. These questions might be a bit intimate, is that alright?"  
"Shiro knows most of my medical history on file"  
"Very good. Ok, so I see you listed the reason for the scan as suspected withdrawal side effects from drug use. Is that from the BXP-269 you were using?"  
The fancy name for the medication he took to come off the yellow stuff  
"Yeah..."  
"Did you complete your three phoeb course?"  
"Yes... There should be confirmation from Erathus..."  
"We have it listed, I just need to understand a little bit better so we can interpret your result accurately. Now, this is due to the DFP-260 in your system. It says you were using it on a serious recreation level for the past 2 decaphoebs?"  
"Yes..."  
"And you haven't taken any of the DFP since then?"  
"No... I swapped to the BXP daily injections. They said my body might start to break down coming off them..."  
"And the other recreational drugs in your system?"  
"Haven't been taking them..."

The red stuff had been horrible to come off of. Worse than the golden DFP... he hadn't even known the names of what he'd been using, not the medical names at least  
"Sorry to interrupt, but I don't understand. I thought you were going off your injections, that's what Keith told me"  
"I did... Erathus had a safe way from me withdrawal without dying, but it meant three phoebs of injections so my organs didn't shut down... I haven't... I haven't taken anything like that in two phoebs now"  
Shyly staring at his lap, he winced as Shiro took him by the chin and forced his face up to look at him   
"That's amazing. I wish I'd known. I'm so proud of you kid. Why didn't you or Keith tell me?"  
"Keith had to go help on a mission. He missed the last appointment... I don't know if he knows... or even cares"  
"I'm sure he does, and I do. That's massive progress"  
Those were the words he wanted to hear from Keith. This. That his husband was proud of him for sticking out the general crappiness that came with it all. Not just a full encompassing "I'm proud of you"...  
"It's nothing... but sometimes there's side effects and stuff... I don't think that's it... but... that's why my marks are back"  
"Whatever's wrong, we're going to get you the best possible help and care available"  
Redirecting his attention to the nurse, Shiro's hand released his chin and moved to gently squeeze his shoulder   
"I'm sorry for interrupting"

Meria took it all in her stride  
"I assure it's quite fine. I only have a few more questions then we can take you through for you scan. How does that sound?"  
It sounded to him like he was about to dig his own grave, but he wasn't strong enough to face this alone   
"Ok..."  
"Excellent. Now, in the last deca-phoeb, how many sexual partners have you had?"  
"One. My husband"  
"The same answer for the last 6 phoebs?"  
"Yes"  
"And when was the last time you engaged in sexual activity?"  
"About... 4 movements Altea time. I live on a planet affected by time dilation, so 5 to 6 movements for me"  
Nodding Meria tapped away on her holopad  
"Alright, last question. Is there any chance you might currently be pregnant"  
Lance's breath caught in his throat, his cheeks growing warmer as he nodded, ashamed. He couldn't even bring himself to try to look to Shiro. He knew he'd be confused, then hurt that no one had given him the full details of what Allura had done to him. Clearing his throat, Shiro started  
"Males of our species..."  
"Shiro... don't. I know what she said"  
"Lance..."  
"Please... please don't... I took... a test and it was positive. Can Shiro stay for the scan? My husband... is on a mission..."  
Meria's already soft expression softened further   
"Of course he can. Being pregnant, that does limit some of the scans we can perform. I think in this case a standard scan of your abdominal area should suffice, which means good news for you because we can bring the portable scanner to you instead. Now, I need you to slid your shirt up, and unbutton your pants. Metal may read on the scanner and we don't want it looking like you have a tumour when you don't. I'll go get the scanner while you make yourself comfortable"  
"Thank you..."

Shiro had to help him lay back and pull his shirt up. He fumbled the button on his jeans so badly that his Space Dad took pity on him   
"Lance..."  
Shaking his head at Shiro, Lance didn't want to hear it right now  
"If something was done to you..."  
"A-Allura changed my body to be more compatible with Keith's... I don't want to talk about it... Please... later... it's all I can do not to start crying again..."  
"This is why the scan was so important?"  
"I... didn't want to... believe the tests... but I'm... I'm so fucking scared"  
"You don't need to be. I'm here... and no matter what the scan says we can work it out"  
Lance blinked up at Shiro, confused as quiznak  
"Why... are you being so nice? Aren't you... revolted? I'm not supposed to be able to conceive... I can't... I can't go through losing..."  
"You're not going to lose Keith, and you don't know if you are yet"  
"I don't know how to tell him"  
"We'll work it out. The first thing we need to do is get through this scan, alright?"  
Lance sniffled as he nodded. Everything about Shiro physically felt wrong. His body was too big. His scent was scaring him. His touch while warm and soft, made his skin almost burn with rejection, but his Space Dad had come so far, with no idea what was even happening. He'd dropped everything to be there for him  
"Thank you... I didn't know what to do... Coran... I can't... not right now"  
"You're working yourself up again. Concentrate on your breathing"  
"I feel too sick... I'm so tired... I just want to home"  
"We'll get you soon... listen to my breathing and try to match it. You only have to hold out a little longer"

"A little longer" ended up being around 5 doboshes before Meria came back with the device and another nurse. To Lance, it looked like a breakfast tray, especially when they placed it over his lower abdomen. Activating the device, it synched with the holoscreen on the wall directly opposite them. Tapping on her holopad, Meria adjusted the scanner to focus on his abdomen, Lance wanting to hide his stomach from everyone's prying eyes. There was way too much focus on him...  
"What do the scans show?"  
Asking the question Lance was afraid to voice, Shiro squeezed his hand a little too hard  
"It's excellent news. As you can see..."  
Zooming in on two dots that looked like all the other normal black blobs, Meria continued   
"... we can see two foetuses, both with heartbeats... and if we do this..."  
The blobs became less blob-like and more like blobby sea horses about as big as his fingernail...   
"According to your species guide, I would estimate you to be approximately 5 movements along... Would you like a copy of your results printed?"

Staring at the screen, Lance didn't know what he'd thought a baby would look like while still so early in the pregnancy. It was more... kind of creepy... like an alien thing had taken up residency in his body   
"Yes, please. For the father"  
"We'll take a few vials of blood for sampling, and set you up with a doctor's appointment in two movements to monitor you. It says you have your own personal treating physician, so it may be worth talking to her about your options when it comes to treating morning sickness, or if you wish to terminate the pregnancy. You'll need to rest and monitor your health carefully. Are you headed straight home after this appointment?"  
They'd done a very basic once over when he'd first turned up for his initial appointment. They'd wanted to give him medication for his lack of sleep and vomiting. But he'd refused. Now he was staring at the woman like she'd grown another head. He kind of got what she was saying, but his head didn't have a firm grasp on "the English". The woman could have been speaking Spanish to him and he would have been just as blank   
"Yes, he is"  
"Excellent. Make sure he rests. He's obviously deeply distressed. You'll need to monitor for seizures, given his history. Try not to leave him alone until he's emotionally settled. He needs to sleep, and if possible make sure he eats two decent sized meals today. If portion size is an issue, try making sure he has six smaller sized meals, but don't wake him to force him to eat. We'll just take these samples and you'll be off"

For someone who'd injected so many drugs, it was still uncomfortable to have the samples taken. Being so tired, his body was overly sensitive. Whimpering as the needle broke the skin, Shiro stroked his hair as the vials were taken. To Lance, it felt like Shiro didn't know what to say. His condition wasn't exactly common... Shiro was probably passing from being in shock to disgust. His body was so far from normal... Keith was... Keith wasn't going to be happy... Keith had barely survived Christmas and New Years with his family... oh, Dios... What was his mami going to say? She... she didn't know... his papi... they were going to be so mad... He... as scared as he was, he'd been silently excited at the idea of having children with his husband. Of a tiny miniature Keith with all his looks and attitude...  
"Shhh, it's over now. Let's get you home. I'll do your pants for you, you just relax"  
Mistaking his mental pain for physical, Shiro started fussing over him. Doing his pants up, and pulling his shirt down for him. Bowing at them both Meria and her assistant left them  
"Can you stand?"  
Nodding, Lance wasn't too sure he could. Shiro was already holding the prints from his scan, helping him dress and keeping him calmish. He should be able to stand on his own... Helping Lance up, the moment his feet met the floor, his knees crumpled, the room spinning violently as his body denied him any form of dignity he might have been able to scrape together by walking out unassisted.

"Whoa! Up we go"  
Hefting Lance up into his arms like it was nothing, Lance hid his face against the man's neck. He was pregnant and Keith wasn't here. He was pregnant and Keith wasn't the first to know  
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I don't blame you if you hate me..."  
"I don't hate you. You heard what the nurse said, you need to calm down and rest"  
"It's unnatural... Keith... was supposed to be here"  
Gripping Shiro's shirt, his fingers hurt despite the weak hold  
"Keith would have been here if he could have been"  
"Don't tell him... don't... tell the others... they think it's side effects"  
"I won't. It's your news to tell... We're going to work this out"  
"I'm sorry"  
"You don't need to be sorry"

*  
Shiro was at a loss over what to do. He'd never thought Lance would call him out of nowhere to ask for his help. Not when he seemed to be doing so much better now that he was running his outpost. He'd been blind to Lance's pain, and as oblivious as Keith seemed to be over it. Keith had said that Lance had his times when he was distant and distracted, but given he was still attending therapy and surrounded with support, Keith had chalked it down to the chronic loneliness that he also felt. He knew for a fact that Keith wasn't happy to leave Lance for movements at a time. He'd called more than once to ask for his advice. Sure, his younger brother was enjoying his time training the new Blades, he'd even made friends with them, but it wasn't the same as being home with his husband. On top of that, Krolia and Kolivan had both placed more responsibility in Keith's hands, his workload only increasing. He already wasn't sure he'd be able to keep to the one deca-phoeb deal he and Lance had.

Leaving his pod on Altea, Shiro took Lance's. With the wormhole capabilities of the Atlas, it was far easier for him to retrieve his pod than it was for Lance to return. He had the feeling that Lance would be avoiding Altea and Coran for the foreseeable future. Surprising Daehra with his unplanned visit, Shiro smoothly covered for Lance, respecting that he didn't want anyone knowing his news, not when it was so fresh. Assuring her it was simply the aftermath of a panic attack, he nearly got lost as he traced his way through the maze inside the outpost, Lance would, of course, insist on having the furthest and most private wing of the outpost for him and Keith. Carrying the younger man, he used Lance's limp hand to unlock the door, smiling at how homely he and Keith had made the place. If someone had asked him if he'd ever believed Keith loved sleeping under a mess of overly fluffy blankets 10 years ago, the answer would have been a firm no. Lance's side of the bed had a framed photo of him and Keith, while Keith's side had a framed photo of Lance and Kosmo. With scents being so important to Lance, he settled him down on Keith's side of the bed, Lance sluggishly climbing beneath the covers and pulling one of Keith's pillows up to his chest as he buried his face against it, whimpering out Keith's name. Not wanting to intrude, Shiro didn't know what to do, not until Lance reached for his sleeve, quietly asking him to stay.

Sitting on Lance's side of the bed, Curtis had been blowing up his comms over his sudden disappearance. Assuring his boyfriend he was safe and well, he briefly explained that Lance had called requesting his help. His next move was to check Lance's comms. Lance was completely shattered over Keith's broken promise, but Keith wasn't one to make promises lightly. Feeling like he was invading the younger man's privacy, he only opened Keith's messages, trying to squint and mentally ignore everything else on the small device. He'd been hoping Lance had simply dreamt it, yet Lance had been right. Keith had promised to be there for him, Lance even stating that it was an important appointment that required both of them being there. That made things a little more awkward. Shiro didn't want to interfere, but Lance had been so scared that Keith had been injured. Maybe if he could confirm that Keith was safe and that mission was still on, Lance would feel better about Keith not showing up, due to the mission and not injury. Messaging Krolia was his own comms, he didn't word his request to talk properly. Krolia jumping to "worst-case" mode over his "Can you talk, it's urgent? It's about Lance". Yeah. He really could have worded that better.

"What's this about Lance? What's happened? Is he safe?"  
Mentally wincing, Shiro nodded. Krolia loved Lance like he was her flesh and blood son, she looked a tick away from sending all the teams under her command to ensure Lance's safety   
"Sorry, Krolia. Lance is alright, he's a little upset so I was wondering if it was possible to contact Keith?"  
Visibly relaxing, Krolia let out a deep breath   
"You had me worried! Don't do that to me. Keith's on a training mission. He isn't due to return for another three quintants"  
"Lance had an appointment today on Altea. I thought he was supposed to be out of contact, but when I checked Lance's comms, he'd replied that he'd be there"  
Krolia frowned  
"It was supposed to be a silent mission... He wasn't supposed to break protocol, even to talk to Lance. I did permit him to take his comms in case of an emergency..."  
"Lance is pretty shaken over it. He's worried that Keith's been injured. I was wondering if there was a way you could confirm his status?"  
"That idiot son of mine... it might take some time, depending on if he has his comms with him. Will Lance be alright to wait? Or..."  
The "or" was her asking if he was mid-panic attack  
"He's sleeping now. Asking for Keith in his sleep. It was an appointment over side effects from medication. Keith missed his other appointment, so him missing it again..."  
"I'll see what I can do. Leave it with me"  
"Thanks, Krolia"

True to her word, barely 15 doboshes passed before Keith was calling him. His younger brother looked exhausted. Not Lance's level of exhaustion, but completely done with his mission  
"Shiro, what's going on with Lance? Mum wouldn't say, only that I needed to call you immediately"  
Was it wrong that for a split tick Shiro was slightly happy that Keith had panicked? Given the state, Lance had worked himself into over his husband. Moving his comms, Shiro tilted it down to capture Lance's worn face. Even asleep the emotional pain and exhaustion was written all over his face. Tilting it back up, he wore his best "unimpressed dad" expression   
"What happened? Did he have a panic attack?"  
"He had an appointment today on Altea that you didn't show up for"  
Drawing his brow, Keith jerked back slightly   
"How could I show up when I was on a mission?"  
"I don't know. He was scared you'd been hurt when you didn't show up. Did you know he's been sick?"  
"He didn't tell me he's been sick... I know he's been pretty tired mentally trying to adjust to work and us... He said it was side effects, but I haven't been able to get home again. Mum has me training the new recruits and with this stupid coalition stuff and preparations for Allura day... I've been completely run off my feet"  
Lance wouldn't tell Keith that he suspected being pregnant, not unless it was face to face. He must have pushed everything down and aside so he wouldn't be a burden on Keith. He didn't want to be mean to Keith, but Lance saying he was sure he wanted to be alive had scared the absolute shit out of him  
"He called me today, crying his eyes out and convinced you didn't care. He couldn't get through to you, so I went in your place. You missed his last big appointment. You didn't tell me he'd worked hard to get off the drugs"  
"Shiro..."  
"When you get back to Daibazaal, ask Krolia for some time off. I've already told Curtis I'm going to stay with him here. He's not in a good place right now"  
Keith hung his head, scratching at the back of his neck   
"Fuck... I didn't mean to let him down again. I know how much it hurts him that I'm not there... I haven't been able to see him in movements as it was. Daehra said he was acting strange, but I haven't been able to check-in... You know what he's like. He tries so hard and pushes himself too far... I thought he was working hard because he was enjoying his job... He told me not to worry, even though I do. He always tells me all the major things that happen there... He always messages me to check in each quintant... Why couldn't he... he tell me he's been ill? No. No, that's so like him... the idiot wouldn't want me to worry... Right. I'll be home in three..."  
Whining Keith's came, Lance, hugged the pillow tighter in his grasp. Lance needed rest, he didn't know how he'd react to find him talking to Keith when he felt that Keith was ignoring him. Keith was on the verge of tears   
"Quintants. I know. I'll take care of him for now. But Keith, if he snaps at you, go gentle on him. He's really not well at the moment"  
"I should be there... Thanks, Shiro... quiznak... I've got to go. I left them making a fire, and now the whole clearing... sorry... uh... tell him I love him... or don't... I don't know what to say..."  
"I'll tell him your safe, but that's it. This is between the two of you"

Cutting the call, Shiro placed both their comms onto Lance's bedside table. He wanted to do something to help Lance out, especially given that he was pregnant. It seemed so surreal that something like that could happen. Then again, his soul had been stored in Black before being transferred into his murderous clone. What had once been thought of as indisputable facts of the universe had shattered the moment they ended up in Blue. Pulling the prints of Lance's twins from his jacket pocket, Shiro couldn't deny he was jealous. He biologically couldn't give Curtis kids... they'd talked about adoption, but what if that didn't work out? What if they fell apart? Even if Keith and Lance fell apart, they'd always have that blood bond. Propping the envelope up against the photo frame, Shiro then took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His personal feelings needed to be set aside, for the sakes of Lance and Keith.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will edit when I get home... 
> 
> But that's no important...
> 
> What is important is Keith's POV...
> 
> Yes. I'm aware that things will be getting repeated. They have a looooot to work out...

Skipping the debrief on Daibazaal, Keith found the return wormhole his mother had opened for him, his team and the recruits took them straight to the outpost instead of home. For a milli-tick, his heart gave an uncomfortable thunk as he entertained the idea of running. It'd been no lie when he said he didn't know what to do about Lance. His husband had told him to leave last time he was there, leaving him feeling annoyed that they'd reached no clear solution on anything. Returning to Daibazaal, he'd talked out things with his mother, his and Lance's fears of the fallout, yet the coalition was still pressing ahead with the festivities and award ceremony, the only difference now was this whole team were being recognised for their work. He wasn't ready to face Lance, scared his presence would send Lance deeper into his flunk instead of supporting him. Being away he'd given it some real thought. Like losing Red, Lance had lost the support system he'd found in illicit drugs. And like with Red, Keith hadn't been there leaving everyone else to take the brunt of Lance withdrawal. They'd planned for him to be there. Lance had wanted him to be there because he knew he couldn't trust his choices. Withdrawal the first time around had been awful, the memories still vivid if he allowed himself to think of them. Again, like with Red, the drugs had supported Lance for years... there was little wonder his husband was still trying to find his feet again, especially when the one person who was supposed to be at his side wasn't. This whole year had been nothing like Keith wanted. Perhaps the only good thing was that his mother was indeed pregnant, and he was going to be a big brother in roughly 4 and a half more phoebs.

Landing his ship in the "staff" area of parking, near the Telula, Daehra's pod, Zak and Tobias small new ship, and three other ships he didn't recognise, Keith climbed to his feet finding the recruits all staring at him in confusion. Right. He had people with him  
"Thanks to Krolia, we're taking a small side vacation at... my husband's outpost. You should probably know that almost all the patrons here are experienced bounty hunters, who don't like Galra and also don't like the Blades. No weapons are to be taken into the outpost, nor is this any kind of training mission. That means no climbing in the vents. No recovering weaponry. No scavenging. No setting fires. No matter what anyone says about your heritage, you need to ignore it. Lance won't tolerate rudeness in his outpost, so even if you don't see him or the staff acting immediately, know that the incident hasn't gone unnoticed. There are also surveillance cameras in every location except the bathrooms and bedrooms. There are weapons for buy and trade, so don't be overly worried and most of the people you meet will be armed. If worst comes to worst, the bar has a weapons cache. I don't know why my mother decided you all needed to come home with me, but Shiro from the Atlas will also be here. Let's head down. The front door is kind of hard to miss"

Letting the recruits walk ahead, Keith found himself cornered by his team. Zethrid with a tight hold on his arm as Acxa frowned at him  
"What's going on? You said Lance was ill again, so why are we all here?"  
"You know as much as I do. I have no idea why Krolia sent us out here"  
"I doubt your mother..."  
"Acxa, I don't know. And I wouldn't put anything past Krolia. She must have thought it bad if she sent us right here"  
"Do you think he came down with that flu again?"  
"No... but I'm worried enough without jumping to conclusions. Shiro wasn't happy"  
"Is there anything we can do?"  
Wrapping him a weird hug from behind, Zethrid nodded  
"We care about the little guy. He's been pretty sick this year. Maybe we should take him back to Daibazaal and get him some real medical attention"  
"He's alright... He's tougher than he looks"  
Ignoring Ezor, Acxa hugged him from the front in some weird sandwich  
"We know it's hard on you. But you can talk to us all"  
Hugging Acxa back, Keith sighed  
"I know. I honestly don't know what's going on though. He had an appointment on Altea as a follow-up, and for some reason thought I was going to be there. Maybe it's because the outpost runs fast? Now I find out he's been sick since I last left and hiding it again. We didn't even get to talk properly last time because he was sick... Being married is a lot harder than people make it out to be"  
"I know he has his job, and his issues, but you really should think about bringing him to Daibazaal. Even if it's just for a few quintants and medical checkup..."  
"Shiro made it sound like he's too fragile for that. Every time I think about they did to him, I want to hunt them all down and slaughter them. This coalition bullshit couldn't have come at a worse time. They fucking tortured him, gave brain damage, cut his finger off, left him having fucking seizures and now the coalition wants to put a shiny little medal over the top of it all... I'm sorry, I shouldn't be venting like this"  
"We're your friends. Plus, mami said we're part of the family so we have to look out for our little brother"

Watching as one of the recruits managed to walk into the automatic front door of the outpost, Keith sighed  
"And the recruits. Apparently, we can add "not knowing how to work a door to their failings""  
"They are rather worrisome"  
"We'd better head in there"

Keith did a double-take as he walked into the bar room. Behind the bar was Shiro, looking as if he ran the place, with Pidge looking... out of place... No... they were both out of place. Why were they even here?  
"Keith! It's about time you showed up! Hunk! Keith's here!"  
Hunk was here too... Now Keith was starting to wonder if maybe that wormhole had sent them all to some parallel reality. Cautiously walking over to his brother, Hunk popped his head out from the storage room closest to the till  
"Hey, man! This is a pretty nice place you've got here"  
Ducking back away into the room, Keith was even more confused  
"Shiro. What the fuck is going here?"  
Scratching the back of his head with his robotic hand, his older brother looked somewhat sheepish  
"I borrowed a few people..."  
"I can see that, but why?!"  
"Well days are longer here, and with Allura day in two quintants outpost time, we decided to make a bit of a holiday of it beforehand"

"Allura day isn't until the end of the month"  
"Don't worry, I thought I had more month in my month too. Seeing Pidge had already landed on Altea, I invited her out here and borrowed Hunk for a quintants. I'm taking it Krolia didn't bother giving you a heads up?"  
"No! As far as I know, I was coming home to see Lance"  
Pidge snorted  
"Good luck with that one. Shiro's got him on bed rest, and he's the only one allowed to visit. He invites us out to hang out, then Lance isn't even up for it. Still, it's nice to finally be invited to see where you call home"  
Keith's knees went wobbly. Acxa taking his arm  
"Shiro, why don't you and Keith go visit Lance. Where's Lucteal or Daehra?"  
"Lucteal's grabbing another crate of beer from the cool room. Daehra was picking up orders from the kitchen... Hunk and Tobias have been discussing cooking pretty much since Hunk walked into the kitchen and saw him using "the wrong" knife". Lance is in your room if you're ready to head down there"  
Was he ready to see his husband? It felt weird that their friends had suddenly invaded their outpost like it was nothing. As far as he knew it was the first time Shiro, Hunk and Pidge had visited... plus the recruits... and wow... they were terrible homeowners. Practically none of their friends or family had been invited to visit in the 5 is phoebs since they left Earth...

Following Shiro through to the main connecting hallway for the outpost, Keith was finding his feet fascinating. He wasn't sure what Lance had told his brother, or what any of this was about  
"Keith, it's going to be fine. Lance is still a bit out of it, but we've talked"  
"Talked about what? I don't even know what's going on"  
Pausing mid-step, Shiro turned back to him  
"Lance had to have a scan on Altea, he was worried that it was caused from coming off that yellow pain killer..."  
Reaching into his pocket, the older man pulled out Lance's comms. Tapping on the screen, he opened the conversation thread between them and handed it over  
"He was pretty panicked that something was seriously wrong with him, so when you didn't show up, he went to the worst-case scenario. I told him you were on a mission, but he insisted you promised that you'd be there... as you can see, you're confirmed you will be. I don't know how it happened. If there was some kind of message glitch or delay or scramble, but this scan was really important to him. We've talked a lot, as much he could at any rate. His nightmares have really knocked him around the last few days, yesterday he stopped talking altogether. I put him in the bath, because he was having trouble... with everything. He managed to forget who I was last night, so all I can say is you'll need to take it slow"  
"He forgot who you were?"  
"He came out a panic attack in a daze and has been hazy since"  
If the scan results were positive, why was Lance acting like he was? His scans had to have been alright, or Shiro would have told him right away  
"Did they say anything on Altea? Was any reason that he was triggered so badly there?"  
"You're best off talking to him about that, then coming to talk to me about it. He knows everyone's here, but he's not going too great on verbal responses... oh, here. Take this. Talk to Lance before you open it"  
Fishing a small envelope out his back pocket, it only served to make him more confused  
"What is it?"  
"Photos..."  
Photos? Photos of what? And why wasn't he the first to know what was going on? Lance hadn't messaged him again. Shiro was acting shady. Apparently, there was some kind of reunion happening that he knew nothing about... and he was still to tell Shiro and Lance that he was going to be a big brother...  
"Keith?"  
"Just what the quiznak is going on..."  
"Talk to Lance. Here him out. Come on, he's probably wondering where you are"

Watching Shiro let himself into what was supposed to be his and Lance's room, the bed was a mess. Clothes had been laid over the back of a chair carried in from the bar  
"Sorry. I've been sleeping here. Lance hasn't been sleeping well without someone around"  
Keith's possessive side flared. This was his and Lance's sanctuary. Their bed. Their blankets...  
"Don't give me that look. Lance wanted your side because it smelt of you, and I've been trying to sleep on the edge of his side. Plenty of space between us"  
"I'm being a dick, aren't I?"  
"You should know I'm not going to make a move on your husband. You should also remember you're the one who told him to come to me"  
"I know... But everyone is telling me I'm being... I'm not doing this right. It's been 5ish phoebs for me. I'm still trying to adjust to my new role. Mums pregnant. Lance is sick. You're all telling me to do better with him, but how am I supposed to be doing better when apparently I'm breaking promises I don't remember making. He's upset every time I leave. I don't even have to be out the outpost and he's upset. He's not coping. And I'm so sick of only being able to come home because something's happened to him. It's like... I don't get to come back otherwise. I want to spend time with my husband when things aren't going right. I want to come home when he doesn't need me to look after him all the time. I thought we'd be able to make this work. He said he supported me still needing my job, but the last time I was home he thought I was going to dump him... He's off the pills but his mental health is going backwards... One dobosh he's shutting me out, and the next I'm stuffing up... and I don't want to keep stuffing up. All I want is to take time off, but this coalition thing and Allura day. I forgot it was so close... He's probably thinking about her constantly..."  
"Keith, I can promise you that Allura is the last thing on his mind. And everything you said, he feels much the same. He wants to go away with you. Spend time one on one with you. Travel with you, but he also wants to respect you and your choices. He's talked to his therapist yesterday. They want him to come in for an appointment, but he's not comfortable with that. He said he wanted to talk to you before making any decisions"  
Keith wiped at his eyes  
"He's given me authority over everything medical and legal he could... on Erathus, Earth and Altea... and Daibazaal too I suppose. What has Daehra said about his condition?"  
"He hasn't talked with her about it. It's been mostly chronic fatigue. Again, he wanted to talk to you. I don't think he would have opened up to me if he wasn't feeling guilty over giving me a call"  
"He's good at that guilt thing... even over shit he's got no control over. I wish we could go back to how it was on Earth... even before that. When I could blow off work because I was still technically on a mission while not at the same time..."  
"We won't be leaving for a while yet. Curtis is going to pick us all up with the Atlas then wormhole to Altea. So we don't have to leave until the last dobosh. Don't forget, Patience..."  
Wiping his eyes again, Keith shot Shiro a watery smile  
"Yields focus"  
"Exactly. Let's go see your husband"

Lance was in their bathtub with his knees up against his chest. A trail of water leading from the bath to the toilet and the lack of remaining bubbles would indicate Lance had been there a while. Not looking up at them, Lance's gaze seemed fixed on the wall across from the bath. Walking over to the bath, Shiro squatted down, placing his human hand on Lance's shoulder who didn't even seem to register it  
"Lance. It's Shiro. Keith's here. It's time to get out the bath now, buddy. You with me?"  
Turning in his direction, Keith got his first proper look at Lance's face. His husband's normally warm and golden skin seemed washed out. His eyes barely open, with deep bags beneath them. As Lance's lip trembled, he hid his face in his hands  
"I'm sorry..."  
"Shhh. Enough of that. We've talked about it. I'm going to leave Keith to help you out the ba..."

Climbing out the bath, Lance didn't seem to care he was naked as he rushed to the toilet, heaving wetly as Shiro grabbed his towel with a sigh. Pushing the towel into his hand, his brother jerked his head in Lance's direction  
"Talk to him. I'll be in the bar"  
"I will..."  
He wasn't going to turn his back on his husband, not when Lance was clearly ill. Carrying the towel over, he wrapped it around Lance's naked form  
"Hey, babe. I'm home... Wanna tell me what's going on?"  
Lance seemed to stick himself further in the toilet, trying to vomit when nothing was coming up. Positioning himself behind Lance, he pulled him back and into his lap, a hand going to his husband's forehead as checked for signs of fever. Keith wasn't sure if he was relieved or not to find Lance fever free  
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."  
"Babe, I don't know what you're apologising for"  
"I... had it all planned. All of it... You were supposed to be there... we were supposed to be there together..."  
"Where? At the scan? Shiro showed me your comms, but babe, I swear I don't remember sending those messages... What happened? What are these photos? Why wouldn't Shiro give me a clear answer?"  
Lance sniffled  
"I... wanted you to be the first to know... together... I wanted to do it together...but Shiro had to be there wh..."  
Launching forward, Lance threw up little more than spit  
"How long have you been throwing up like this?"  
Holding up 1 finger, Lance wretched again  
"1 what? Movement?"  
Giving him the thumbs up, Keith dragged him back out the toilet again  
"You've got nothing left in your stomach to throw up"  
"I know... oh, Dios... it wasn't supposed to be like this"  
Placing both hands on his stomach, Lance squeezed his eyes shut. His scent was overly sweet, not pained yet not what it usually was  
"Babe?"  
"I need you... I can't... can you help me to bed?"  
Sliding his arm under Lance's legs, Lance wrapped his arms around him allowing himself to be lifted  
"I don't understand what's wrong with you... Shiro said the scan went well"  
"I'll tell you when I'm laying down... I'm just... so sorry"  
That wasn't comforting at all. What did Lance have to be sorry for? Had something happened before the scan? Or was there something more to the scan that wasn't alright?

Laying Lance down, Keith moving automatically to dry him down with the towel. His husband whimpering away from him when he got too close to his stomach and head. It looked as if there fresh scars on Lance's inner thighs, but Keith couldn't be completely sure  
"I need clothes... the others are here..."  
Pulled from staring at Lance's slim frame, Keith shook his head  
"You need sleep. And something for the nausea"  
"The nausea's here to stay..."  
"What does that mean?"  
Lance sighed softly, rolling away from him  
"It means you're... it means, I... I'm sorry, Keith. You mean the whole to me... and I had it planned... how it was supposed to go... you were supposed to be here... you missed it... you missed it..."  
Covering his face, Lance curled into himself as he started sobbing softly  
"I was on a training mission. I told you, and I told you to put it up on our calendar"  
"You were supposed to be there... you promised... you promised..."  
Running his fingers down Lance's back, goosebumps erupted under his fingertips, Lance had dissolved into repeating "you promised" as he cried  
"I don't know what happened, but I never saw those messages and I never replied... I would have been there... if you'd messaged mum or Shiro, they would have told you... I couldn't be there. Or you could have booked another time... I can't understand if you're going to lay there and cry instead of talking to me"  
Lance shifted from his touch  
"Under the bed... there's a box under the bed..."  
"What does that have to do with anything?"  
Literally, he was right there. Lance could open his mouth and tell him what was wrong. Shiro could tell him what wrong. Why were they now playing this game? Pulling the blankets over his head, Lance cried harder  
"Lance, stop ignoring me and tell me what's going on"  
"Look under the bed!"  
"Why?!"  
"Because I'm too fucking scared to say it out loud! Because once I do, you're going to leave me!"

Growling in annoyance, Keith climbed off the bed in order to find the box under their bed. There wasn't a whole lot of space under there, but there was a long thin box  
"For quiznak sake! I'm not going to leave you! Now tell me what's in here before I open it!"  
"I can't! I'm fucking scared...!"  
Hurling the box at the wall separating their room from the bathroom, the contents of the box spilling as the lid came off, 5 white sticks with different coloured tips scattering on the floor. Furious, he stalked over snatching up the closest two sticks  
"What are these? Are you shooting up again?! Is that why you're sick!? I thought you were done with that!"  
"They're not drugs!"  
Confused, Keith moved the red-capped stick thing so the cap was laying next to the blue one. Rolling them over to face up, he stared at them with his brow drawn. It took half a dozen attempts to read above the weird double-lined window thing. "Pregnancy test"... and it said the other thing on the same one... which was...

Keith's hands started shaking so badly he nearly dropped the tests  
"Babe... babe... is this what I think it is? Lance... are you trying to tell me? Are you? When? How... are you sure? You're not serious are you?"  
His mum was pregnant... She was having a baby... Not them... How? Wasn't Lance taking birth control? He used to take birth control... and why hadn't he thought of a condom? Right... right, he was horny as hell. Thinking with his dick and his heart, not his brain... But how...? This couldn't be real... He couldn't be a dad... How did one "dad"?... a baby... them?  
"Lance. Answer me. What is this?"  
Having moved from his side of their bed to Keith's, Lance was right up against the pillows  
"I'm sorry! It must have happened during my heat... I don't... I don't know... I wasn't thinking straight... I planned to find out for sure with you at the scan..."

Shiro had been there. Shiro had known before him... about their baby... Taking a few shaky steps he sank down on the edge of the bed. They were having a baby. He and Lance were having a baby... it wasn't planned... but aside from the sick feeling of shock... something akin to happiness was welling inside of him. A baby...

"I'm so sorry... I was so scared to tell you... I knew you wouldn't want this. I didn't mean this to happen. You promised to be there... and we were going to find out... together..."  
"We're having a baby... how... How can I not be happy?"  
"You didn't smell happy"  
"I'm in shock. I... I mean, we knew it could happen but I didn't think you were off your contraceptives"  
"They were a daily pill!"  
"I thought maybe injections... I didn't think you'd go off them. Not with all these strangers in and out the bar"  
"You think I'd sleep around?!"  
How was he saying all the wrong things?  
"No! I think too many people have their eyes on you"  
"So you don't think I'm faithful? You don't think this... that you could be the father?"  
"Babe, don't put words in my mouth. I'm trying to understand..."  
"Your dick knocked me up. What else is there to know...?"  
"I... how long have you known?"  
"A movement and bit... I... I didn't know if it was true... I didn't know if I could carry... I lost... I lost the first one... I don't know if my body can carry properly. I don't want you to get your hopes up... because I might ruin this like everything else I do... I wanted you to be the first one to know... I'm so sorry"

Leaving his boots on, Keith climbed in under the blankets on Lance's side. It smelt far too much like Shiro. Reaching out, he wrapped his arm around Lance's waist to pull him tight up against him  
"Stop apologising"  
"Why? You hate me, don't you? I got pregnant. I should have told you to use a condom... I shouldn't have let you stay..."  
"Don't you want the baby?"  
"I don't know what I want!"  
"I promised to spend your heat with you. We knew it was a possibility... I know you went off the drugs, but I never knew you meant your contraceptives too..."  
"You're just as much to blame as I am!"  
"Why are you yelling at me?!"  
"Because I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do! It's in me, Keith. Growing in me! Something I didn't... it's..."  
Is that what it came down to? Lance didn't want their baby because he'd fallen pregnant accidentally  
"Another thing you didn't want in your body?"  
"Yes?! No! I don't know. That's what makes it so hard!"  
"You don't want it... I see..."  
Releasing Lance. Keith climbed back out of their bed, angered by his husband. Why tell him if he was just going to run off and deal with it himself!? Why tell him if he was only going to reject him? Did Lance not want him now that he was getting a child out of it? Out of him? No... He was being cruel. Keith couldn't even imagine what Lance must be thinking, or feeling. Keith didn't even know what he was thinking or feeling... Other than sick and scared. Lance had been right though, the nausea was there to stay, at least initially... A baby... they were having a baby...

"I never said that I didn't! I... I don't know what I want!"  
"It's our baby..."  
"I know..."  
"I don't know what to say..."  
"I don't either... I'm fucking scared Keith. I'm scared and if you're scared, then you should say so... Maybe you should talk to Shiro? He seemed more excited about it than you are"  
Keith didn't know how most people reacted to their partner being pregnant. He was excited. Nervous. Scared. Terrified. Proud... all at the same time  
"I'm not not excited. You're the one who keeps apologising"  
"This isn't working. We're going around in circles. I told you how I feel... now you need to think about what you want and what you want from us"  
"I love you. You know that, don't you?"  
"I do... but I don't know if you love them"

How was he supposed to love someone he hadn't met. Someone whose existence he'd only just learned of... In his heart, he wanted this baby. He'd thought as much when Lance was in heat. All the what-ifs as he rubbed the tiny bulge of Lance's stomach from where he'd filled his lover over and over... Lance should have told him though. That he wasn't on contraceptives. That it wasn't safe to be having unprotected sex...  
"I think I'm going to go talk to Shiro..."  
His husband was still crying, not responding other than to cry harder. Stress couldn't be good for the baby or for Lance's seizures and all he was doing was adding more stress due to his head being a muddled mess. He couldn't do this... He didn't know the first thing about being a father. He couldn't promise his kid he wouldn't die on a mission... and what would his mother say? She was pregnant... how could he tell her that his very male husband was very much pregnant? 

*  
Finding Shiro in the bar, his older brother led him back from the space before he started drawing attention to himself. Leading him away from the main floor and up the smaller second-floor control room, Shiro pushed him to sit, the paper of the envelope rubbing against his back and reminding him he still had the scan photos. Taking the envelope from his pocket, his hands were shaking uncontrollably as he slid the prints from the envelope, deep purple eyes filling with tears at the blobs on the scan as he let out a broken sob. Nearly scrunching the prints he brought his cupped hands to his forehead as everything became a hundred times realer. They were having a baby. 

Crouching down in front of him, Shiro took the prints from his hands  
"Keith...?"  
"He's pregnant"  
"Yeah... How are you doing?"  
"I... I don't know!"  
Setting the prints aside, Shiro pulled him down so that he kneeling between his brother's legs, Shiro ending up sitting on the floor to hold him as he cried  
"He doesn't want the baby!"  
"Shhhh... shhh... Is that what he said?"  
"He kept apologising... and he doesn't know... he said he doesn't know... he should have told me! He should have told me he didn't have contraceptives in his system! He hates me for getting him pregnant!"

Rubbing his back, Shiro continued to hush him softly. Not that Keith could calm down now that the dam had broken  
"You knew it was a possibility?"  
"Allura changed his body to be more compatible with mine! She did this... she changed him inside... and now he doesn't want our baby inside of him... he wants them gone! Why tell me if he wants it gone!?"  
"Keith, you need to calm down for me and listen to me right now. Lance wants this. He's scared and confused. But he told me himself... He convinced himself that you'd be angry at him for falling pregnant when you're working so hard as it is... He wants to want this baby, and he wants you to want this baby, but he doesn't want you to feel like you don't have options"  
"He didn't sound like he wanted it. He made it sound like it... like it was the first time all over again... like I forced him to get pregnant..."  
"What do you mean the first time?"  
Emotionally shattered, Keith's mouth had no filter  
"He got pregnant when they raped him... and he lost it... he had it... beaten out of him... He was so scared to tell me... but if he's comparing me to them then doesn't that make me the same? Doesn't that make... me a monster like them!?"  
Swearing softly, Shiro hugged him tighter  
"No. No, it doesn't. He knows how much you love him. He knows it. He's been agonising over how to tell you. It tore him to shreds that you weren't there to find out with him. But he's about 6 movements along. Both bubs are doing just fine..."  
"B-both?"  
"Ah... yeah. It's twins according to the scan"  
"Twins..."

Suddenly he couldn't catch his breath. Everything surrounding him drowned out by his racing heart. Twins. As in two. As in Lance was pregnant with twins. Two tiny people...  
"Oh god... oh god. I can't do this! I can't be a father. I don't know how to be a father. What do I do? I only just found out mums pregnant. Now Lance is pregnant. How am I supposed to help both of them?! What if something goes wrong? He's going to have to quit work. I can't quit work. I can't. Mum needs me... I can't...  
"Keith. Keith, listen to my voice. You're having a panic attack. I need you to focus on me... ok?"  
"He's having twins... Does he want them? Can he carry them? What if... what if something wrong with them, from the drugs? What if he loses them? He's not well... I never should have let him buy this place... I never should have... we don't see each other. How am I supposed to be a dad if I'm never home? How am I supposed to go on missions? What if I don't come home? Our kids can't end up in the system Shiro... oh god... what if... what if he dies... what if they die"

Pushing him back, Shiro cupped his face. Keith unable to focus through the blur off his tears  
"Keith. You need to breathe. Come on. In through your nose for me..."  
"He can't die!"  
"Lance isn't going to die. We're going to get him the best medical attention and advice we can. You're going to be a father, and your husband needs you right now, so you need to calm your breathing for me. That's what you and Lance do isn't it, here, put your hand on my chest and breathe with me"

An eternity and a half passed until Keith finally brought his breathing back under control. Or at least, it felt that long. Collapsing against his brother, he felt boneless and cold  
"Lance wants these twins. He wants you and a family. It might have been accidental and oversight on the protection thing which you're both responsible for, but that doesn't change the fact that you're both going to be parents"  
"He kept apologising"  
"Because he's scared. He's been screaming Klearo's name in his sleep, I guess I understand why now. Why did neither of you tell me about this?"  
"About what Allura did? How she changed his body? We don't have answers. Coran has theories that he can't control the extra quintessence he received from Allura so couldn't change his body back. Lance has a theory that this was her gift because she knew how badly he wanted a family of his own and with us both being male she didn't understand the whole adoption thing... Whatever it is, it makes his scent really appealing to Galra. I can feel his... smell his emotions in his scent. I can tell what he's feeling without having to ask... He's so ashamed of his body"  
"He... he asked me if I thought he was a clone or if he was in his real body. He said it didn't feel like his body and hadn't since he came back"  
"He died... he fucking died and thinks he came back wrong. He had fucking nightmares for phoebs about being trapped on the astral plane. Then... then he lost Allura... We... we think she gave him some of her quintessence to also keep him stable and alive. Like the power source for your arm... maybe that's what anchors your soul now? The only person who held any answers was Allura and she's gone..."  
"That's a lot"  
"I want to be happy about this baby, but I'm scared"  
"He feels exactly the same. He's waiting for your permission on how to feel"  
"We tried to talk... but it's so much... dad died before... well... you're the closest thing I had to a dad... I don't know how you did it. How you took me in... I don't know if I can make medical choices for... for the three of them... I can't... I can't choose them over him and he might never forgive me if I do... and what about his seizures, Shiro? He won't be able to be left alone"  
"Seizures?"  
Right... he didn't know what Shiro knew or didn't know...  
"They're... from the brain injury... we thought they were from abusing drugs, but... apparently on Erathus they said it was from a traumatic brain injury... I just want to rest... I want to take him away... but now he's pregnant... he won't stop this. He won't stop work... and he's going to be worried about the others knowing. Worried about telling his family. What if it all falls apart because I couldn't control my dick?"

Shiro snorted at his ending sentence  
"I can't do much, and I can't say I fully understand anything going on with his body. But I've seen that look in his eyes before. I know it well. He's given up on himself. It's not that he wants to die, but if he was about to be hit by a car, he wouldn't be moving to get out of the way. What he needs is to hear that you want these twins. That's what's going to calm him down and bring him back. I know he's excited. He told me he was excited before he started overthinking what you were going to think"

Keith drew in a shaky breath  
"I'm scared, Shiro"  
"That's alright"  
"Mum's pregnant too..."  
"I'll have to congratulate her. Did you tell Lance?"  
"We just fought... he said he was going to sleep"  
"He needs it. You're going to be a great dad, Keith"  
"W-was he really... ok?"  
"Yeah. Exhausted, emotionally exhausted, and scared. But nothing wrong with both babies"  
"Two of them... I didn't know if my sperm would even take, being part Galra and all... God..."  
"He's only 6 weeks in. So you have some time before you tell anyone"  
He couldn't tell people beforehand?  
"We do?"  
"Most miscarriages happen before 12 weeks. Most of the time it passes in a period before most women know they're pregnant... or men..."  
"I didn't think to ask him about his period... I was mad over him being right..."  
"That wouldn't the first time that happened... Keith, it's ok to be excited, and if you're excited, I think you should tell Lance. Be honest with him"  
"I just tried to do that. He's convinced I'm angry... maybe I am... but he's just told me. I don't know what to do! I... think I really want this, but the only real family experience I have that's been any good is that time with you, and Christmas... two babies... he's having twins!"  
"You're both having twins. It takes two... I really don't understand how this happened, and honestly, I'm kind of hurt you left me on the outside of something like this... but it's already done, and now you really should go back to Lance. Don't forget, he can't understand if you don't talk to him, and you can't understand if you don't question him. You can do this. You both can. You're going to be amazing parents. You know what shouldn't be done... I hate that you know, but you do. And neither of you are alone. I won't tell anyone, this is your news to share when you're ready. So go back to your husband"  
Shiro's moved his hand from his back, Keith could hear the ruffling of paper before the scan prints were pushed back into his hand  
"You've got this kiddo"  
"Thank you, Shiro... Thank you for being here for him... and for staying... and going to pick him up... and just... thank you... I'm sorry... I'm not used to him letting people into our space..."  
"Lance said as much. If it helps, hands were above the blanket, all I did was help him bath and shower... He... had an accident during a nightmare. That's the most hands-on I got"  
He knew Shiro wouldn't go after his husband like that. He was happy with Curtis, and Lance had chosen to let Shiro into his tiny circle of trust. His instincts were furious, but his heart was relieved  
"Shiro..."  
"I changed the sheets and blankets, I don't think he remembers. I know his body and who touches him is a big thing for him. So if he asks you can be honest with him now"  
"Lance... is really susceptible to scents. Even if he can't say it, he knows it's you... I need to go see him"  
"Then get off of me already"  
"I am... you're the hugging me"  
Keith sniffled and wiped at his face, releasing Shiro  
"Thank you..."

*  
Walking back to their bedroom, Keith broke from a slow walk to jogging, then running. Shiro had said it was alright to be happy and it'd dislodged the fear, allowing the happiness and excitement to bubble into his bloodstream. Maybe the twins weren't planned... and maybe their jobs were impossible... but they were going to be parents. He and Lance... were living a miracle.

Reaching their room, Keith slammed his hand down on the hand pad. Slipping through the gap before the door opened fully. Still curled up on his side of their bed, Keith pulled the covers off and swept his husband up into his arms. Lance's tired eyes blinking at him in confusion. Smiling down at him, he spun around in a circle, Lance scrambling to clutch onto him  
"Keith?"  
"We're having a baby!"  
It was ok to want this... it was ok to want these children...  
"Keith? Wha..."  
Leaning down, Keith nuzzled into his husband's face  
"I'm sorry. I'm scared and I'm probably going to fuck things up over and over again... but I'm... I think I really want this for us..."  
"You sounded so angry..."  
"Confused... scared... confused... maybe angry, but babe... we made a baby..."  
"We made two... Keith, how is this supposed to work? Our marriage is barely working"  
"I'll quit ahead of schedule. You can come stay with me on Daibazaal, and come on training missions and help me train the recruits. You're the best marksman I know... and it'll be safe because I won't let anyone hurt you. The others can run this place. We can comm every day and I can there for your next scan... and we can see our twins together..."  
"This wasn't the plan..."  
"Babe, all the best things that have happened to us haven't been planned. The best thing that happened to me was marrying you, and we took movements to figure that one out.. so what if mum's pregnant? We can talk to her and work something out..."  
"Krolia's pregnant?"  
"Yep. She only just told me I'm going to be a big brother... and now I'm going to be a father too..."

Sitting down their bed, Keith carefully manhandled his husband so he was straddling his lap, his face in his hands  
"I don't even know if I want this... this wasn't the plan... I don't know if I can carry to full term... I was so sure you'd hate me... and now you've come back and said it's all ok... I don't know what to feel... your anger hurt"  
"I know... but... this is a lot. I thought you were on contraceptives... so I felt... I guess I felt betrayed that you didn't tell me you weren't... My instincts didn't like it, not with so many people attracted to you... I thought you'd still be on them, or some kind of injection because you have no idea what kind of people are coming and going from here. Though now that I think of it, you did say you didn't want to take anything... and your heat... all I could think about was swelling that stomach of yours with our child... so I don't know if I could have remembered to actually use a condom. With... with how you were apologising, I thought..."  
Lance let out a miserable whimper  
"You thought I'd slept with someone else"  
"Not consensually... but babe, you can see why can't you? You kept saying I'd be mad. Shiro said you were basically non-responsive. You kept apologising and you... you hated the idea of being pregnant... even to me"  
"I can't ask you to stop working... your mum is going to need you more than ever and this pregnancy... it's not going to be as long as normal..."  
Keith scrunched his brow  
"Why not?"  
"My heat was... like 7 movements ago now for me... but 5 for you... that's.... when I'm 6 phoebs... it's only to be 4 for you... 40 weeks... I don't know the math but it's like... 25 weeks... your time before I'm due...the gap is so big. I don't want to leave here, but I'm pregnant... I don't know what to do..."  
"We'll work it out. We'll work it out when you don't look so exhausted..."  
Searching his face, Lance sniffled softly  
"You've been crying... I'm sorry... I'm so scared of what this means for us... I'm so exhausted Keith... I'm so tired of having so many ups and downs... I miss being on my injections. I miss having energy... I miss going out and helping people... and now I have to leave here and I have nowhere to go"

Parroting it back to Lance, Keith was confused... the only thing that had really changed is that his husband was pregnant... Lance was still Lance... so how did that equate to homelessness?  
"You don't have nowhere to go..."  
"I can't go back to Earth... mami... mami... Keith how can I tell my family!? I was born male! I'm not meant to be pregnant!"  
Oh. Ah... it's been scary enough for Lance the first time, trying to tell his mother about his health issues... But now Keith felt confident enough to talk to Miriam and Jorge on even ground over Lance's health. Lance might think he shouldn't legally make his own decisions or question them, but he was far more capable than he thought. He knew what he needed... thoooough, he did have the tendency to be swayed by others opinions too easily... In this case, his parents were going to be the least of his worries. No. Rachel was going to be the main issue in Keith's opinion... but then again... Veronica. Oh god... Lance might have a point. Veronica was going to kill him for knocking up her little brother... No. Nope. He couldn't go there. Lance needed to hear everything was going to be ok.

"Mami and Jorge are going to love you just as much as they do right now... Shiro said he's not going to tell anyone. And I won't tell anyone until we're ready to do it together..."  
"And what if I lose them? What if I can only get pregnant but can't carry? What if all..."  
"Babe... I know nothing about being pregnant. Shiro just gave like the 2 dobosh talk about it... he said that miscarriages happen mostly before 12 weeks... we still have time to decide what we want to say to everyone... and to ensure things are ok with the three of you. I'm serious. I want you to come back to Daibazaal with me. We can spend the next phoeb together... Daehra and Lucteal will probably be able to sense your pregnancy... and I'm sure they wouldn't mind running things here. Or you can call in Th'al...?"  
"I don't want to stop working... I've barely been able to keep up with work since you left... I'm so tired all the time... Shiro's had to look after me..."  
"He told me. It should have been me... I swore to myself I wouldn't make you cry and it's all I do..."  
"I didn't want to say it... because I don't want to hold you back... but I need you... I've needed you home for phoebs..."

Yeah. And he'd needed Lance just as badly... They'd both held it in because it only served to hurt each other when they brushed against the topic  
"I know you have... I never should have listened to mum and gone back to work so soon... I'm grateful Lucteal and Daehra were here... but I'm so fucking sick of only coming home when something is wrong or something happens. I want to take you away. I want to... go on missions with you. Your mission... not my boring ones..."  
Lance shook his head  
"We can't anymore. Not now I'm pregnant! I'm not ready for any of this! I wanted to keep working... I wanted to make something out here and again I have to walk away! I'm sick of walking away not having finished anything I've started"  
Moving his hand up to Lance's forehead, he frowned at the warmth now there. His husband's exhaustion had seemed to have lead to a fever  
"Shhh... Hey... ok. You're feeling warm... your voice sounds ruff too... I think you need some sleep and fluids"  
"I can't... Shiro decided to invite everyone out here... I can't ignore them. Pidge will ask questions... and Hunk... and you... I can smell other people on you"  
"Mum opened a wormhole directly here. I have my team and the recruits with me"  
"I should be out there. I should be the one..."  
"No. You need your rest... you've got our babies to focus on... and I've got you and my other two babies to focus on"  
"Did you just call me a baby?"  
"I don't know, did I? How's the nausea?"  
"Awful... my nose is all clogged up and burning... can we take a bath together?"  
"Didn't you just get out the bath?"  
"I... my skin... I feel them on my skin... I don't feel clean"  
"Baby... you are"  
"I feel them... I feel him on my skin... and hear him... telling me I'm a "pregnant whore"... it only excited them more"

Lance clamped a hand over his mouth, climbing from Keith's lap and running to their bathroom. A bath was completely unnecessary... though without his blade suit on, Keith probably stunk to high heaven... Still, a bath was a small price to pay for Lance's mental health...


	8. Chapter 8

When Lance fell asleep in his lap in their bath, Keith let him rest. His husband looked so incredibly fragile as he placed the entirety of his trust in Keith protecting him. For Keith's part, he couldn't keep his hands off Lance's stomach, rubbing softly until his husband moaned in his sleep and he was forced to behave himself. The quintant was definitely not how things were supposed to go. Lance was supposed to have a simple bug or something. Something he knew how to handle and how to be there for. Not a baby... or twins... Twins... as in two... Finding his hand gripping Lance's stomach by his fingertips, his husband roused slightly. By his estimate, they'd probably been in the bathtub for the last two vargas or so  
"Keith?"  
"I'm here..."  
"You're playing with my tummy..."  
"It's a cute little tummy"  
Moving to nuzzle at Keith's jawline, Lance gave a small yawn before kissing him randomly  
"We're having a baby"  
"Yeah... we're even having two..."  
"You knocked me up good like you said you would"  
"This is true... How do you feel?"  
Lance snorted as if something was funny  
"Honestly... exhausted and horny... if I'm not sick, scared, freaking out or sleeping, I've been fucking horny... Not like... not like in my heat, but at the same time, I feel it... like a bite... you know, it's there but you can't scratch it... or rather, I've been trying to not scratch it..."  
No wonder Lance had snorted. Horny wasn't on Keith's list of expected replies. Chuckling affectionately, he kissed his lover's hair  
"We can't have that..."

Letting his hand slide down between Lance's legs, Lance whimpered at the touch, grabbing Keith's hand and moving it back up to his stomach  
"I can't... I can't... I'm too scared"  
Keith wasn't particularly in the mood, he only wanted to comfort his husband  
"Babe, its only me and you here. No one else... you can let go. Leave it to me..."  
"It's dirty... I'm dirty"  
"You're not dirty. Your body is clean..."  
"But..."  
"Do you remember the first time? When you asked me to take the feeling of their touches away? To replace them? Let me touch you... not sex, just touching. You're stressed, exhausted and confused... rely on me"  
"It feels dirty... my skin feels itchy"  
"Then let touch you... cover you in my scent so you know I'm here"  
"I'm..."  
"Babe, I'm not trying to push you... I want you to know you're safe. To feel completely safe. You're in our bathroom. It's just you and me... let me give you some release"  
"I feel so sick from the feeling..."  
"Then let me make you feel better"  
"But what about you? You still don't know how you feel about this pregnancy"  
"I don't think either of us knows..."  
"I want to want it..."  
"Then let yourself want it. Let yourself be happy..."  
"I don't know if I remember how..."  
"I know you do. I never should have started yelling at you..."  
Let his hand wander back down, Keith grasped Lance's half erection. Whining into his ear, Lance's breath was hot... and his husband really needed to brush his teeth  
"Everyone was telling me how shit of a job I've done being there for you. Shiro was disappointed I broke that promise. I was disappointed no one could give me a straight answer... I can't understand if you don't talk to me"  
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I don't want to be a burden..."  
Twisting to hide his face, Keith jerked Lance off slowly, his free hand rubbing circles on the soft skin that would soon stretch as he swelled. Moaning into his touch, Lance spread his legs further. If there was one major pro to the Galra having built the outpost, it was that their baths were big enough for 4 humans of their size to fit. It was akin to a small swimming pool in that regard, with taps that activated by waving your hand underneath them. Being able to just barely reach within sensor distance with his toes, that's how he'd kept the water from getting too cool during Lance's nap. With how pent to his husband was, it only took a few doboshes for Lance to cum with a soft sigh of relief. Feeling for the plug chain with his toes, Keith pulled it free and gathered Lance up into his arms  
"You with me, babe?"  
Nuzzling him affectionately Lance took his hand in his  
"I think I needed that..."  
"I think you might have needed that too..."  
"I can't... bring myself to do it alone... it feels wrong"  
"I swear to give you all the handjobs you want or need"  
Laughing softly, Lance finally stopped nuzzling into his neck  
"You might need too... I'm going to get so fat..."  
"Not fat. You're stomach's going to swell up with our children"  
"Mmm... yours... I... I don't know if I... it's scary... but not as scary as being raped into pregnancy... I... truly love you Keith... you're my world... I keep trying to do better but nothing works out right... it feels like every step I take forward, I'm swept right back to the start... I don't want to go back to the start"  
"You're not back at the start... You're not. You're doing so much better"  
"Am I? I feel like I've been in a constant panic attack since I found out. I can't sleep without Shiro there because if he's there, then they're not... I had a seizure I can't even remember... and... I blacked out so badly I forgot who Shiro was... I thought I was back there... he put me to bed, but when I woke up I still thought it... these stupid dreams are so fucking vivid... and I... I broke my promises to you... I've only known for a few quintants now and if I'm this bad already... how am I going to get through this?"  
"You're going to get through this because we've both hit the end of our emotional rope. I can't... I can't keep leaving you. I can't stand not being with you..."  
"You have so many obligations"  
"And out of them, being your husband has always been number one. Even if it hasn't felt that way for either of us. Let's tell the others at dinner that you're coming to stay. Even if it's just for the phoeb, to begin with"  
"I'm scared to go to Daibazaal... they could tell I was pregnant from my scent alone. What if your team smells it on me?"  
"Then I'll punch anyone who says anything in the face"  
Lance gave a weak laugh  
"You can't do that... I want to be excited for this..."  
"Babe. You are recovering. You're allowed to be mixed up and confused because quiznak knows I am. I'm terrified, but I'm not going to walk away. Now, enough wallowing in the bath. You need to eat. I bet you haven't been keeping anything down"  
"I've barely got any appetite... We need to join the others for dinner"  
"Let's go by the kitchen? Hunk might have something to help the nausea"  
"Ginger... is supposed to help. Lisa had bad morning sickness..."  
Keith smiled. Lance seemed to be more positive, or at least he sounded more positive  
"Alright. Dinner and IV bag after. Dehydrations probably making it even worse"  
"I haven't been able to keep anything down"  
"We'll figure this out. Together"

*  
Keith had helped him dress in a bodysuit beneath his husband's clothes. The fact that Keith had flipped out over the pregnancy hadn't been surprising for Lance. The fact that Keith had run hadn't been either. The fact that he'd come back... Lance was still trying to believe that. The fact that his husband had swept him up into his arms and told him that it was ok to be excited was... he had no words. Keith was excited. Keith was excited and scared like he was. Keith was excited and scared and wanted their twins... His husband hadn't left him... and even if it was pretty shitty of him to think he would, he couldn't help his stupid out of control anxieties were leaving him feeling so weak and broken it was almost like being back in the first movement on Erathus. They'd made a baby... two babies... Two living tiny people were inside his stomach right now... 

"What are you smiling about?"  
Keith hadn't let him walk to the kitchen. Instead, his husband was carrying him in a reverse piggyback kind of deal. Keith had offered him a piggyback, then had gotten himself all worried about putting any pressure on Lance's stomach. Now that he knew it was okayish to be ok with what was happening, he found it incredibly sweet  
"You..."

He hadn't been lying when he said he felt he was a constant panic attack. Shiro's scent was wrong, but he needed that physical human contact... his body and his mind weren't talking all that much before Keith came. Maybe because Keith was the calm in the storm that was his life... He was also the one most affected by Lance's pregnancy, being the baby daddy and all...

"Me?"  
"Yeah... I just... I'm really grateful to have you as my husband"  
"I thought you were scared"  
"I am. I'm fucking terrified of what's to come"  
"I am too... a lot. I cried all over Shiro earlier. I didn't want to fight with you. But I still can't believe it... We hadn't had the proper kid discussion..."  
"Don't you think I know that? I know how painful your past is for you... and I'm scared of what it's going to bring up for you"  
"I thought I'd have time you know, being a big brother first"

Quiznak. Right. Krolia was pregnant... The smile on his lips started slipping. Krolia should be enjoying all the attention of her only son, and his help through what was to come. Keith was going to make an absolutely amazing big brother... but he'd only get a few weeks of that before being a father.

"You'll make an awesome big brother"  
"We'll make awesome big brothers... you know mum loves you like you're her own"  
"She only loves me because I love you"  
"Nah. That's a bonus on top. You've really impressed her as you"  
"She still scares me. I hope you know that. She's hot as hell and could snap me in half"  
"I remember you saying the exact same thing before"  
"It's as true now as it was then. She's not an enemy I'd like to ever make"  
"Me either, honestly..."

Keith fell into a silence that didn't quite sit right with him  
"Keith... are you scared of being a big brother?"  
"I..."  
"You know, I mean what I said. You're going to be an amazing big brother. And amazing dad. You've... been through hell. And you'd do anything you can to protect the happiness of those you care about"  
"I don't know how to feel about it... now that it's actually happening... I don't have the experience"  
"No. You have no idea. I've never been a big brother either..."  
"You're going to be a mum... and you basically took care of all us on the Castle all the time. You're... you're going to have to teach me how to make a happy and warm family like yours"  
A happy and warm family he'd started avoiding calling again... Lance couldn't picture calling home any time soon, though mami would probably call to check in on Allura day...  
"You're the one who makes it happy and warm. I love you... and I know you want this... but go careful on me? When this all hits you again... and it will... if you want to run... don't hide it from me"  
"I'm not going to run"  
Keith had grown. In every single way possible, yet Lance knew it was still sinking it... Keith might have felt better for talking to Shiro, but how was he going to react tomorrow? Or the day after? Or the day after that?  
"Babe..."  
"I'm committed to you. And to them... I didn't... I didn't think... I think I'm attached to them already"  
Then it would break Keith's heart if anything happened to them. That was the last thing he wanted  
"I'll be careful... I'll try to be careful... but babe, if we're going to Daibazaal... you're going to have to move your knives from under your bed... if I get stuck in an attack... and if I hurt you... or if I hurt me... I could... I don't want to, but I could hurt them"  
"You're not going to hurt anyone"  
"I hurt myself... trying to get my skin off... my face and my legs..."  
"What?! Where was Shiro?!"  
"Sleeping... I didn't remember until I came out of it... there was blood... I was trying to... to get Klearo off me. I'm asking you to do this for me. Kosmo's good at stopping me..."

It was heavy. It was a heavy thing to drop on his husband. He was practically murdering Keith's happiness with his mental illness  
"We can talk about it when we get there. Whatever we need to do, we'll do it together. You're my husband I love you"  
"Vomit breath and all?"  
"Vomit breath and all..."

Pausing to kiss him before entering the kitchen, they were still kissing as the door opened. Letting out a long "ew", Hunk covered his eyes with a tea towel  
"Guys! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you and all, but this is a kitchen. Please tell me you haven't defiled this sacred space"  
Carrying Lance over to the side bench, his husband sat him down, giving him two quick pecks on the lips, before moving to hop up and sit on the bench beside him. Lance's stomach was already starting to roll at the normal kitchen smells. Hunk had been frying something. The stink of the oil was no friend to his pregnant state. Placing his hand on his knee, Keith squeezed it lightly in a gesture of support  
"Sorry, Hunk. I missed my husband"  
"Only you two would be married by accident... Holy Quiznak! Lance are you alright?!"

Meeting each other's eyes, Lance felt as if his stomach was about two ticks from betraying him. He knew he looked ill... Hunk was a natural-born worrier, if he could lie his way through talking to Hunk, Hunk would reassure everyone else  
"Stomach bug I picked up from an alien. Everything is still tender, but things will be better"  
"Are you sure? I've seen you looking like the living dead before, bro, but this... you look like you should still be in bed. Keith, is he..."  
"Lance is alright. As he said, he picked up a bug or two. He's had a check-up, and things are good"  
"Did he have that check up on Altea?"  
Scrunching his brow, Lance was confused  
"How did you know?"  
"Ah... Pidge was going to tease you, but there are photos of Shiro carrying you in his arms being circulated by the media. You know, "trouble in paradise". And "what could this mean". I recognised the hospital in the background. If you're sick, you're better off having something light... How about I whip you up some ginger tea?"

Why would anyone care about what he and Shiro were up to on Altea? Or care enough to take photos? And if it was across the galactic press, why hadn't Shiro said anything? Did Curtis know? The last thing he wanted was for stupid rumours to ruin Shiro's happiness.

"Hunk, my man... Thank you. Where's Tobias?"  
Or their actual cooks...  
"Helping with the bar. Ugh... someone wanted to trade some things..."  
The way Hunk shifted his weight concerned him  
"Trade what?"  
"Lance, are you buying and selling drugs here?!"

Lance felt as if the air had been driven from his lungs. Then realised that it was the awful sensation of not being able to breathe because he needed to vomit. Sliding off the bench, he rushed to the sink, heaving up what could only be described as a dollop of watery spitty bile. Heaving again, his mouth was all drooly. Coming up behind him, Keith rubbed his back as Lance hacked and spat. The Cuban was already sick of vomiting. He hated how tense it left his stomach muscles, and that "morning sickness" couldn't keep its shit to only happening in the morning  
"We buy and sell everything here. If we're buying them here, then we're taking them out of circulation. We buy weapons and tech too. Babe, you've got nothing left in your stomach. Rinse your mouth out"  
Keith knew there was nothing left in his stomach. He knew there was nothing left in his stomach. His stomach wasn't listening though. Reaching up he fumbled the tap on, grateful Keith was there to smoothly cover things  
"But they... I thought it'd happen like some kind of shady deal... In a back corner... not in the bar in front of everyone"  
Rinsing his mouth half a dozen times, Lance sipped down some water cautiously. The worst part of vomiting was the longer burn and the burning kind of smell that lasted inside of him for vargas  
"You've been watching too many movies, Hunk"  
"I don't want to be involved with that. I never understood how people could become dependent on something so bad for them"  
Standing up, Lance sank back into Keith's touch. It was fine to have a moral code, yet it rubbed him the wrong way that Hunk was acting so naive. When it came to bounty hunting, you did whatever you had to do to get your bounty. It was literally that simple. Quiznak. If someone came in here trying to sell slaves, he'd buy them... He'd buy them, then arrest the person at the first chance he got  
"No one is going to offer you drugs here. And most of the people we serve aren't good people... but without them, things around here would be dangerous. Keith, can you get me out the plain crackers? They should be in the cupboard near the first fridge"  
"They're not there. Your cooks have no idea how to organise a kitchen... I think we put them over here"

Walking to the opposite side of the kitchen, Hunk opened one of the upper cupboards. The kitchen was arranged by Lance to be the same as his kitchen at home. Knowing he was upset and uncomfortable, Keith pushed gently on his back, encouraging him to return where they were sitting before. Opening the pack of crackers, Hunk set up a few on a small plate for him. Lance would have rather picked from the pack. He wasn't sure of his strength... which was proven when the plate Hunk gave him nearly fell on the floor. If Keith hadn't acted so quickly to prevent disaster.

Sipping in his tea and slowly working his way through his crackers, Lance nearly fell asleep when Keith started playing with his hair. Using his fingernails to lightly scratch at his scalp, Lance was practically purring as he let Hunk and Keith's conversation slip past him. As long as he was eating and drinking, Hunk wasn't complaining about his health. Maybe he actually was and he was missing it? Yawning, Keith tugged him closer  
"Babe? You good?"  
"Sleepy"  
"I can see that. Wanna skip dinner?"  
"Nah... I wanna cuddle... here"  
"Your scents evened out, and your colour looks better. How do you feel?"  
"Like crackers might be my new best friend"

"Hey! I heard that, man!"  
Laughing tiredly, Lance tried to find the energy to joke, but it just wasn't there  
"No one could replace my main bro"  
"As long as you know that. You guys don't have to wait for dinner. We have about another varga before everything will be ready. Daehra said we're all having dinner in the second entertainment room? I can't believe you guys have a first entertainment room, let alone a second"  
"Second room is... an o-o-overflow room..."  
Yawning widely, he shook himself in an attempt to wake up  
"It's mostly things that were already here... like tables and chairs... The first entertainment room is for guests"  
"We're not guests?"  
"Your family... mmm, if we're having dinner there, we can head in early. There's a sofa in there"  
Keith's voice came from directly next to his left ear  
"I thought you wanted cuddles?"  
"Sofa cuddles sound better..."  
"Yes, they do. Mostly because neither of you should be sitting on the kitchen counters. Even if you own this place"  
Lance ducked his head while Keith laughed. He was still nervous Hunk was going to bring drugs up again... Plus... dinner was only a varga away. Dinner with everyone...  
"I think we've been told, babe. Can you give me directions?"  
Lance nodded, whining at the loss of Keith's body heat as his husband climbed down off the kitchen bench. Holding his arms out limply, Keith lifted him into his arms  
"I'm going to take him down there to rest before dinner. I'm looking forward to some real food. We've been stuck eating purple goo again"  
"That stuff should be banned as a violation of human right. Galra rights. Universal rights. I've got things under control here. Maybe you should have Daehra take a look at Lance before dinner?"  
Damn. He thought Hunk would let it go  
"Hunk, it was just a bug. I'm not contagious"  
"You smell funny and you're throwing up"  
His chest tightened at the thought of his scent. He was wearing the suit in the hopes it would diminish his scent...  
"He smells fine. Although he does need to brush his teeth"  
Saved by Keith again, Lance couldn't win  
""He" is right here. And he is feeling better for having kept something down"  
"You know babe, we could stop by the medbay and run that IV bag before dinner?"  
"No... after dinner is better. You're all worrying too much"  
"Shiro dropped everything to pick you up. We're allowed to be worried"  
Sensing his dropping mood, Keith kissed the top of his head  
"I would rather Shiro drop a hundred things and know that Lance was alright. Seeing we're not heading to the med room, take your time. Mr Grumpy here needs his rest"  
Why was everyone picking on him? He didn't want to be awake when the cannula went in... No. He wanted to be awake, but closer to sleep so he couldn't crave the feel of the injector needle  
"That's rich, coming from you. I bet you can't even find your away around without me"  
"I found my way to our room"  
"That was a fluke... now let's go... I have a sofa to become friends with. Bye, Hunk! I promise we haven't done many gross things in here"  
"Dude! What do you mean "many"?! Are the benches safe? Do I have to clean them again? Why are you doing gross things in here, to begin with?"  
As Keith walked towards the door while Hunk bombarded them questions, Lance waved over Keith's shoulder. He wasn't trying to pick a fight with Hunk, but it was so quiznakking easy to get him worked up when it came to the sanctity of the kitchen... or any kitchen for that matter.

*  
"There you losers are! You've got time to visit hunk, but no time for me!"

Hushing Pidge, Keith stroked Lance's hair. Despite his insistence that he only wanted cuddles, Lance had drifted off into a doze soon after they'd settled down on the smaller of the two sofas. Bounding over, Pidge stopped as she smacked into the back of the sofa, half falling over and letting out a long "awwww", when she set eyes on Lance, following it by swiftly whispering  
"He almost looks innocent like this... I almost don't want to wake him"  
"He was woken by a bull trying to ruin my furniture"  
Mumbling sleepily, Lance rolled over in his lap and poked his tongue out a Pidge  
"What the quiznak is wrong with you?! Shiro said you were ill..."  
"Space bug... I hear you planned to tease me for collapsing on Altea"  
Shaking her head, Pidge walked around the sofa and threw herself down on the arm  
"I was until I saw your face! Seriously, aren't you supposed to be some big bad bounty hunter with his own crew"  
"My face! Have you looked in the mirror lately, Pidgeon"  
"Oooh sick burn from the sicko"  
"Damn right... Mmm..."  
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lance paled  
"Babe?"  
"Just feel a bit funny... can you help me up?"  
"Funny?"  
"Yep... I mean, I'm naturally hilarious... but I don't think my hilarity is what's trying to escape"

Keith groaned at his husband's lameness. He knew Lance was only putting on a show for Pidge, yet he wished Lance would shut up and go back to napping. Tugging Lance up by the armpits, his husband flopped against him with a soft whine  
"Babe?"  
"It's ok... I think it's just dizziness from lack of sleep... or Pidge's loud voice"  
"I'm...! Not that loud"  
Starting at an indignant yell, Pidge quickly dropped to a whisper. Lance chuckling softly, cutting in before they started teasing each other again, Keith figured someone had to be the adult between the three of them  
"You two are as bad as each other. Pidge, stop picking on the sick person. Lance, you know what she's like..."  
"Great going Lance, now "dad" here is telling us off. Why'd you have to go get sick right before Allura day?"  
"It wasn't like it was planned. You better not have been messing with my outpost"

Now that the spot next to them was only occupied by Lance's socked feet, Pidge slid into the spot and put Lance's feet in her lap  
"You know, you stink right. I was looking forward to hanging out with you, and seeing everything around here"  
"I'll have to make it up to you next time. Next time we should go to Erathus. Have you been?"  
What was on Erathus that Lance couldn't get here? Or on Daibazaal. Erathus was bad news as far as Keith was concerned. Humming, Pidge flicked Lance's toe, Lance retaliating by trying to stick his toes up her nose. Laughing as she pushed them down, she had the advantage in strength Lance admitting defeat with a small whine that was muffled by Keith's neck  
"Only briefly. I didn't think you were too popular there?"  
"You know what they say Pidge, if you can't beat them, let them get so well known that you can't lay a hand on them"  
"No one likes a bragger"  
"Yet... I bet you were eyeing off all our tech"  
Huffing, Pidge crossed her arms  
"Zak already took the best stuff... it pains me to admit it, but he's smart..."  
"Ha! That's because my team is the best. I did handpick them after all"  
"And what does Keith have to say about this?"

"Keith is wisely not getting involved in your sibling squabbling"  
"Coward. Lance, what do you see in this guy?"  
Letting his hand travel from his stomach up to rest palm down on Keith's chest, Keith was expecting some kind of sappy answer  
"He's big and muscled... plus, he's got a big dick"  
Pidge squawked, blushing much the way Keith was. Lance had hit his rambling stage  
"I did not need to know that!"  
"Yeah, babe. Pidge didn't need to know that"  
"My brain power has weaned off... plus I feel funny"  
"You should let me take you back to our room. I know you want to hang out with everyone, but you can't even keep up with verbally sparring with Pidge"  
"Can too keep up... She's got mystical powers of confusion because she's a gremlin"  
"Ya know, you're no fun when you're this sick. Why don't you sleep it off and make it up to me at breakfast tomorrow?"  
"Help. I'm dying. Pidge is being kind"  
"I'm always kind you arsehole"  
"Now she's swearing at me! Don't tell Shiro... He still thinks she's sweet and innocent"  
"That's because Shiro has good taste. I don't know what he was thinking taking the pair of you in. You're two halves of the same damn idiot, Daehra was right"  
"I'm the funny one... Keith's the cute one, aren't you babe?"  
"No, you're the cute one"  
Pidge rolled her eyes, poking at Lance's ankle  
"I see you didn't say he's the intelligent one... Still, I'll take Gremlin over ankle biter"  
"If you were an ankle biter, you wouldn't be anywhere near my feet. You both need to stop fussing, I'm fine"  
"Babe, you're rambling"  
"Fine, I'm sleepy and fine"  
"Plus you did say you felt funny"  
Keith nodded as Pidge backed him up  
"Babe, no one is going to think any less of you for being sick. We've already checked in with Pidge and Hunk, what you wanted to do. Pidge isn't offended any more than usual"  
"But I want to have dinner with everyone... and I wanna see your team too... and your recruits"  
"Which we can do in the morning"  
"Why don't you nap here? If you wake up, you can meet everyone?"  
"Don't wanna nap"  
Pidge's howl of laughter was drowned out by the arrival of the others. Lance tensing in his arms. His hand coming to cover his mouth while his other hand went to his stomach...  
"Lance?!"  
"Too many scents... gonna..."

Stumbling half a dozen steps, Pidge screamed as Lance collapsed on the floor seizing. Rushing to Lance's side, he arrived as Shiro rolled Lance onto his side, Keith catching sight of the vomit running from Lance's nose as he faced Shiro's knees. Taking Lance by the jaw, Keith's eyes shot up to meet Shiro's  
"He's vomited. We need to get his mouth open"  
"You're not supposed to interfere with a seizure!"  
It was hard to ignore Pidge screaming at them, as Keith tried to get Lance's mouth partly open without harming him  
"What happened?"  
"He said he was feeling funny, Pidge and I were trying to get him to go back to bed, but he wanted to see everyone. When... when everyone came in it was too much... I think he threw up as the seizure hit..."  
"He'd eaten?"  
"Dry crackers and ginger tea in the kitchen when we were with Hunk... it wasn't much, but he kept them down for over a varga"  
"That's more than I was able to get him to eat and keep down"  
Kneeling down at his side, Pidge was crying  
"What's going on? What's wrong with him? Why is no one helping him?!"  
"Pidge, stop yelling. He has seizures... It's complicated..."

Getting Lance's mouth open didn't come until his seizure finally started to lessen. Shoving his fingers into Lance's mouth Shiro didn't shy from scooping up the mess Lance kept expelling weakly. Keith rubbing Lance's back as Shiro stroked his cheek with his free hand. Glossy blue eyes blinking up at Shiro, whining weakly as he allowed Shiro to tend to him  
"You had a seizure, baby. Only a dobosh or so... Can you follow my words? Just blink... don't force yourself just yet"  
Lance barely blinked, but Keith was sure he saw him make the effort  
"That's good baby. I'm going to lift you up now, and Shiro going to help get you back to our room. Shiro, have you cleared his airway?"  
"Yeh. Lance, you ready buddy?"

Lifting Lance, Keith found everyone staring at him. It hadn't been one of Lance's more severe seizures, but with Lance's pregnancy, every seizure was a heart attack. All Keith wanted was to get back to their room and check for bruising or bleeding. The fact he'd had two seizures in the space of a movement wasn't a good sign... and... what if it continued? Lance wouldn't be able to left alone at all... not with the risk... Keith's eyes filled with unshed tears as he buried his face in his husband's hair. He should have pushed harder for Lance to rest. Lance had said he felt funny... probably the sign of a seizure coming on... but he didn't usually feel them... Making his way through their friends and the recruit, Acxa placed her hand on his shoulder  
"Is he... will he?"  
"He's alright now it's over. I'm sorry, I need to take care of him right now"  
"I'll take care of the recruits..."  
"Thank you..."  
His team was probably going to be hurt that he hadn't told them. But he didn't know the full details of Lance's condition, only that the drugs weren't to blame. Instead, it seemed to him that they'd been what was keeping the seizures at bay all along.

Catching up with them as they walked, Shiro looked wiped out  
"I asked Pidge to wait until the tomorrow morning before starting with the questions. Keith, seizures..."  
"Seizures while pregnant isn't a good thing. I know... there was a split tick between the sofa and reaching him that my heart stopped..."  
"I think while we're on Altea, you should see if you can get him into the hospital"  
"I was... I wanted him to rest. I should have pushed harder..."  
"Keith... don't..."  
Softly whispering his name, Lance reached up blindly for his face  
"Don't... wanted to see everyone..."  
"But..."  
"Please don't..."  
Before he could protest again, Shiro firmly reassured him  
"See. It wasn't your fault he had a seizure. Is there anything I can do?"  
"We need to stop by the med room. I want to run an IV line to get his fluids up. He was looking so much better for having eaten something"  
"I can get the saline bag..."  
"And herbs... I... Daehra has a herbal supplement, like a vitamin pill but better"  
"I heard folate is important during a pregnancy... for foetal development"  
"I doubt he has any of whatever that is in his system... How much did you get him eating?"  
"Some soft foods, but to be honest, they said that rest was more important than food. But with his morning sickness... I don't know what to do"  
"You did a good job with him"  
"Did I? I feel completely over my head..."  
"You kept him going..."  
"He wouldn't open up to me as he did with you"  
"He's a shit like that... but he said he felt like he was in a constant panic attack. There's... something in my scent that he finds soothing. Like he can anchor himself with it... Though he's probably going to be in a rotten mood tomorrow morning. He hated sympathy and now everyone saw him having a fit. I don't think he's ready to tell everyone"  
Shiro sighed, closing his eyes as he did. Keith could hear him mentally counting to 10 before opening them  
"Alright. I'll help you cover for now. Lance shouldn't have to talk until he's really ready too. Not that anyone is going to judge him. I can say it was a side effect of the medication they gave him for his... what are you going with?"  
"Stomach bug picked up from an alien"  
Shiro raised an eyebrow  
"His stomach bugs... then. If you say I told you, then you're covered as to why you're not so shocked"  
For a tick, Keith thought they might get away with it before he deflated with a groan  
"That won't work. Daehra knows Lance won't take anything and... I freaked out on Acxa earlier... I think I mentioned his seizures... Quiznak..."  
"We can worry about a cover story after we get him cleaned up and settled"  
"You need a shower too..."  
Shiro looked down at his pants and hands  
"Yeah... I guess I do..."  
"And you're braver for sticking your human fingers in his mouth"  
"I wasn't thinking straight. My heart's still racing from seeing him fall. If I wasn't already grey..."  
"I know how you feel. I found a few around my temples... they all came from him"  
"Him... isn't asleep..."  
Lance's eyes were closed, and his lack of response had led Keith to believe he'd passed out with his hand on Keith's hair  
"Of course you're not, Lance. Just resting your eyes?"  
"Mhmm... Shiro gets it..."  
"That makes one of us"  
Snickering at Shiro, Lance dropped his hand to his lap  
"I'm sorry... wanted to see everyone"  
"It's alright, babe. We can see everyone in the morning. Sleep for me a little longer"  
"Wasn't sleeping... but ok"  
Quiznak. His husband was so fucking precious.

Conquering showering with an almost unconscious Lance back when Lance was withdrawing, Shiro went about organising towels and their bed for them when they got out. Swapping when both he and Lance were done, Keith was definitely ready for sleep by the time they were both dried and dressed. Getting Lance out of his suit had been a struggle, yet his instincts wouldn't allow Shiro to help, still shaken from Lance's fall and the risk to the twins. The half-Galra's heart was still racing, even after triple checking Lance wasn't bleeding and bruised. Settling them both in bed, the first IV bag was hooked to the lamp because it was the only place he could get it to stay still. Coming out their bathroom, Shiro cast them a soft look  
"Is he out?"  
"Not quite. Thanks for your help"  
Shiro had found Daehra's herbs for them. Thankfully she labelled her medical supplies in English or they would have spent all night figuring things out. Injecting the vitamin mix first, Lance hadn't liked it all, until Keith did some creative truthing about accidentally prickling him while trying to get the IV set up. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Shiro went to reach for Lance before pausing  
"I'll find another room to crash in tonight"  
Letting out an "nnngh" sound, Keith had to push space between his chest and Lance's mouth to make out this husband was trying to tell them "no"  
"I think he wants you to stay"  
"I don't want to be in the way"  
Keith stifled down a snort  
"Shiro, you've literally... basically been his rock. He isn't one to ask anyone to stay, let alone sleep in the same room or bed as him. He really has to trust you to do that these days"  
"He has you"  
"And right now he's disorientated and out for the night. He wants you to stay. Besides, this isn't the first time we've shared a bed"

Shiro didn't seem convinced. Keith was feeling jealous of this new found best friends with Shiro thing, but had no energy to care  
"I don't..."  
"Shiro. I don't have the energy for this. We've all had a scare tonight. Just sleep here where you'll be able to act if anything happens"  
"Fine..."  
"Good"  
Careful not to disturb Lance, Shiro threw his towel over towards the washing basket in the corner before joining them under the blankets. Laying facing them, his brother's expression was still filled with love for the pair of them  
"I never got to congratulate you both properly tonight"  
"I got him to agree to come to stay on Daibazaal. We were going to discuss it with the others at dinner"

The small moment between the three of them was interrupted by a knock on the door. Shiro climbing back out the bed to answer, revealing an anxious Hunk standing there  
"Is Lance, alright!? I brought you some dinner, but if I'm in the way..."  
Turning back, Shiro was leaning the decision to him  
"It's alright, you can come in"  
Calling softly from the bed, Keith found Lance was trying to keep his eyes open. Bopping him on the tip of the nose with his finger, his husband gifted him a dopey smile. Armed with a tray of food, tea and what seemed to be a couple of water pouches, Hunk wasn't alone as Daehra slipped in behind him...  
"What's going?! How is Lance?"  
Thanks to his anxieties, Lance might have trouble feeling loved by others, but both their friends were practically radiating love and concern. Clearing his throat, Shiro took it upon himself  
"He had a seizure, most likely brought on from his weakened state after picking up that stomach bug"  
"Is that all? You said he was alright when we were in the kitchen and next thing I know Pidge is balling her eyes out because Lance has collapsed and she didn't know what to do"

As far as Keith knew, Lance and Pidge's relationship was still strained. Hunk looked as if he wanted to burst into tears himself  
"She said Lance vomited?"  
"He threw up just as the seizure hit. I hope you don't mind Daehra, we borrowed a couple of IV bags and some herbs"  
"I don't mind. But I don't like not knowing what is going on with my patient"  
Placing the tray of food down just below Keith's feet, Hunk worried his hands  
"Will he be ok? I made some vegetable soup... and put some crackers there..."  
"He'll be fine Hunk. He's simply weak right now. He was so excited about dinner with everyone he refused to slow down"  
"That sounds like him... uh... um... you'll let me know if I can help, won't you?"  
"Right now, the best thing you can do is not worry. He's probably going to be embarrassed tomorrow, but he's down for the night now"  
"Oh. Ok. I'll just go then... Lance, I hope you feel better soon, buddy"

When Hunk's caring aura left the room with him, Daehra crossed her arms. Keith knew the expression she wore too well  
"What is going on with him?!"  
"Dae..."  
"First he's exhausted, then he's shutting us out... I don't know what I've done wrong, but..."  
"Whoa. Dae. You haven't done anything wrong. He was sick... he still is sick. He thought it might be related to coming off his meds so had a scan on Altea. While he was there, there was a miscommunication that I was going to be there. He described it as feeling like being in a panic attack since he got home again. I've also invited him to live on Daibazaal for the next phoeb. We both know he won't stop working, so if he's not here to work... well..."  
Daehra frowned, but accepted what he said  
"He's an idiot. I wish he'd talk to me about all of this. I could have conducted the scan"  
"From what Shiro said, he was supposed to meet with Coran over Allura day. You're coming to the festival, aren't you?"  
"Yes, only for the first day. Coran will be opening a wormhole for Lucteal and I. Though I dread to think of what I'm going to come home to... and a phoeb without Lance around, all our regular customers are going to be upset"  
"Admit it, you and Lucteal will miss him the most. Daibazaal is only a wormhole away"  
"Do not tempt me. Fine. I'm trusting you to make sure he rests, and in future, I hope you'll trust me enough to help you so you don't have to steal my herbs without telling me"  
Keith felt a prang of guilt. Daehra and Lucteal had been watching over Lance for so long now  
"I'm sorry Dae. I do trust you with him... I just... I can't let you in right now. You know those instincts Lance I share..."  
"Keith, I can feel you. You barely wanted to accept Hunk in here. I want to know the tick something happens, if it happens. And I really wish you'd talk to him about going onto medication for his seizures"  
Being pregnant, Lance might be more open to it... then again, medication could affect the twins  
"At least think about it. And don't go hiding things again"  
"Yes, Daehra. Thank you..."

Sighing heavily, Daehra moved to leave the room. Shiro staring at the door long after she'd gone  
"Shiro? You ok?"  
"Does she know how scary she is?"  
Keith snorted  
"Yeah. She does. That's the problem with trying to hide things from an empath"  
Shaking his head, his brother retrieved the tray of food off the bed  
"I feel bad for Hunk, but I'm not hungry at all"  
Keith shook his in agreement  
"I'm not hungry either. Why don't you leave it in the bathroom? Maybe we can get Lance to eat when he wakes up again?"  
"Yeah. Are you sure you still want me to stay?"  
"Lance wants you here. And as annoying as you are... I'm grateful to have you here. I know we need to have a talk, but thank you Shiro"  
"We need to have more than a talk..."

When Shiro finally rejoined them in bed, Lance proved he was a stubborn shit by taking Shiro's hand and placing it on his hip with a very sleepy, and very slurred "good night" to both of them. Kissing Lance's hair, Keith curled around his husband as much as he could, while Shiro waited until Lance was snoring to take his hand off his hip. If he hadn't felt like the whole day had taken a decaphoeb to get through, Keith might have made a joke over Curtis being jealous, yet at the same time, he knew he wouldn't because he knew how much Shiro must be missing his boyfriend. Curtis had the patience of a saint to put up with their antics, and he owed the man big for this.


	9. Chapter 9

Waking up with a soft yawn, Lance nuzzled into the warm body holding him tight, not being able to remember the last time he felt so well-rested or has slept through the night entirely. Feeling the lips, of who could only be Keith, peppering the top of his head with kisses, Lance stretched with another soft yawn as he wiggled up to lay face to face with his husband. Behind him, there was a nasally snore, causing him to nearly giggle when Shiro followed it up with one twice as loud. Brushing his hair back from his forehead, Keith's smile was filled with love. Far too much love to be waking up to. He'd acted so deplorably the day before  
"I was betting he'd wake before you did"  
"He's been really good to me"  
"I know. How are you feeling?"  
All limbs were attached. Keith's smell was drowning out Shiro's. He was still drowsy, but Keith was home so that made everything alright... plus, he only felt slightly nauseous   
"I don't remember how we ended up in bed"  
Keith's expression turned pained. Doing that thing where he bit the inside of his cheek as he drew his brow, yet his scent eyes gave away the pain... The last thing he remembered...  
"We were sitting in... the kitchen... and... Hunk made me drink that tea... it gets kind of foggy"  
"You were falling asleep in the kitchen so we went to the secondary entertainment room..."  
"And Pidge was there..."  
Lance could clearly remember hearing Pidge's voice recently...  
"When everyone else came in, you went to get up. Before that, you said you were feeling funny. You ended up having a seizure"  
"In front of everyone?"  
"We told them it was because you've been sick..."

Everyone saw. Everyone saw him having a seizure...

"Babe, it's ok"  
"It's not ok"  
There were things he wasn't ready to talk to everyone about yet. He still needed time... He didn't want to admit to Hunk and Pidge that his torture had resulted in seizures due to a serious brain injury  
"Look, Shiro and I told them it was because you were sick. We told Daehra it was because you pushed yourself too far. We covered for you"  
They shouldn't have to cover for him. He was a grown arse adult  
"Stop giving me that look. You can make it up to everyone at breakfast this morning"  
"I had a seizure in front of everyone"  
"And all everyone wanted to go know was if you were ok. No one was laughing. No one was judging you. Do you think Shiro or I would have let them keep their teeth if they had?"  
"I haven't seen anyone today... how am I supposed to know if they all have teeth still"

Nuzzling into his face, Keith rolled him away from Shiro so he was forced to lay on top of his husband. His stomach and his bladder protesting laying front down  
"That's my man. God, Lance. You're so quiznakkingly beautiful"  
Feeling himself blush, Lance dropped his head next to Keith's so he didn't have to meet his husband's eyes   
"Shut up..."  
Sliding his hands down Lance's back, Keith massaged at his lower back with his fingertips  
"Don't tell me to shut up. I know you're smiling"  
"Who's fault is that? It's too early in the morning... and it's the first morning I haven't woken up feeling worse than when I went to sleep"  
"That's good... hey, lift your face for me. I want to look at you"  
"That sounds like the perfect reason not to"  
"Why? You're beautiful. Waking up with you still feels like a dream"  
"Keeeith"  
Whining his husband's name, Lance mouthed at his husband's neck. If Keith was going to tease him so soon after waking up, then his husband was going to have to face the consequences   
"Mmm... I won't say no this kind of wake up when we're on Daibazaal"

Parting his lips, Lance sucked hard, Keith jerking under him as he tried to push his face off the place Lance was sucking a hickey. Stopping when he tasted blood, the Cuban let his husband finally have his wish of seeing his face. He hoped he was showing the right emotions... as he wasn't exactly sure what he was feeling emotionally. His head felt better for having slept, and for having fluids in his system, but everything else was frustratingly muddled. He was embarrassed over having a seizure. Scared to face everyone after collapsing in front of them. He didn't want to lie to everyone, but he also didn't want them disgusted over his body... buuuut, with the way Keith was looking at him so softy, he wanted to throw everything away and cling to Keith. Have Keith keep him calm in their bed. Their space he'd opened up to Shiro without asking Keith's permission. Then there were all those thoughts. He felt like absolutely quiznak for not being able to come out of his own head for Shiro. It'd been hard to reach out, and now he didn't know how to apologise for Keith being the only one to fix this broken side of him. Leaning up, Keith was lucky Lance was flexible as nuzzled into his face. Apparently, he hadn't been enough of a shit to get his revenge for Keith being stupidly perfect   
"You scared the shit out of me last night. When you fell like that. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't get your mouth open and you kept throwing up. I was scared you were going to drown... and I was scared for our babies..."  
"I'm sorry... I wanted to see everyone last night..."

Lance was absolutely terrified at the idea of seeing everyone all at once. All their scents. All their voices and things he needed to keep up with. But yesterday felt like if he didn't man up and do it then, he'd only run when the time came. It's kind of been nice to listen to Keith and Hunk talk, but he had no idea what he'd talked to Pidge about. He hoped it wasn't about the fact he was still yet to use the finger she'd gone to all that effort to make him. 

"I know. You were too sick and I should have pushed harder at you to rest. You're not disappointing any of us by being ill. You're pregnant with our babies, and... that's some kind of miracle"  
"Your babies are making me sick... I can tell they're going to be trouble"  
Not that he was attached to them... He was... but he was trying to be realistic. Keith was still not the "enthusiasm" stage of things. Not the... Oh fuck...   
"Babe. How do we get them out!?"  
All of a sudden the "real" stage of things popped its ugly head up and smacked him a dose of reality he did not need. Watching Keith's eyes widen like his, his husband's scent shifted so dramatically with fear that he was sent running to the bathroom.

Following Lance into the bathroom, Keith sat behind him. Rubbing his back as he reacquainted himself with the toilet bowl, tears streamed down his face as he panicked over how he was supposed to give birth. He didn't want them coming out the same way they'd come in. That would hurt!   
"Babe! How do I give birth? I don't want to give birth out my buuutt..."  
Wailing at his husband, Keith laughed softly   
"We woke Shiro up. He reminded me that c-sections are a thing..."  
He wasn't sure he wanted a caesarean either...  
"My stomach's going to be sooo fat and then they're going to cut it!"  
Throwing up, the sound blocked out Keith's reply. Shuffling up further behind him, Keith pulled his hair back from his face before tying the longer bits into a ponytail much like the one Bob had made his husband wear. He really needed a hair cut, but his self-care and pampering had gone to shit as he now appreciated practicality over everything  
"You're not going to be fat. You're going to be all round from our babies"  
"But my butt... what if they can't take them out?"  
Nearly hyperventilating, he choked on the vomity spit in his throaty. Moving up from rubbing his back, Keith rubbed his shoulder   
"Shhhh... we've got phoebs to work it out"  
"I don't want to give birth! I like my arse! You like my arse! What if you don't love me when I'm fat!"  
"Baby, I'm always going to love you. Always. Even if we fight or something, we'll make up"  
"I don't know how to have a baby"  
He imagined it was going to hurt a lot. Miscarrying hurt so bad... but that wasn't a fully formed baby... babies don't have small heads...  
"I don't know either. But we're going to get through this and have our beautiful twins"  
"My butt has to hurt twice"

Yes. He was concerned about his butt.. His butt. Hips. Stomach... breasts... was he going to get breasts? Keith loved him because he was a boy. With boy bits... Now his husband was fucking laughing

"When you get further along we can explore your options"  
His options? What?! With wide eyes, he continued his freak out  
"My options!? Where are you going to be!? If I have to go through this, you have to be there too! I'm not going through this without you!"  
Gagging, Lance wanted it to stop already as he turned back to the toilet to vomit. Keith nuzzling into his hairline like all of this wasn't gross  
"I mean how you feel most comfortable giving birth. I'm going to be there"  
"You don't know that. Mum's having a baby too... she needs you! What if you're on a mission"  
"I won't be"  
"Keith!"  
His husband was acting far too relaxed about this... and now he was laughing again  
"Babe. I'm going to be there. I promise you this. If I'm not, you can castrate me"  
Scrunching his nose up, Lance didn't find the humour in it. He'd cut off Klearo's dick, then slit his throat. He was trying not to think of him... and trying not to compare the difference in morning sickness as it was  
"Not funny"  
"Sorry. Are you done here? I have no idea what the time is but breakfast should be ready. Or there's some vegetable soup in the fridge that Hunk dropped off last night"

Oh, Keith. Poor sweet Keith. Lance almost pitied his husband's naivety... Morning sickness had a mind of its own... something that was proven when they were both stuck there for the next 2 vargas.

*  
Joining everyone in the secondary entertainment room for a late breakfast, Lance had an armful of Pidge almost immediately after he and Keith walked into the room. Shiro had been on a call to Curtis who'd decided to bring the Atlas out to the outpost sooner, so had left to greet his boyfriend. Patting Pidge on the head, he'd never really committed her scent to memory, most probably because he hadn't had the chance. As weird as it was, she smelt like the oil you used on creaking hinge mixed with something floral... When he thought about it, it made sense given her love of robotics and her former status as the Green Paladin  
"Don't you ever do that to me again! I was scared you dumb arsehole"  
"I'm sorry, Pidgeon. I'm feeling much better than I did yesterday"  
"What was that, even? You said you felt funny... then you were... I don't think I've been that scared since I returned home and had to face my mother"  
"I'm ok. I'll be ok..."

He didn't want to talk about the seizure, yet before he knew what was happening, Keith's team was also hugging him. It was weird... their smells not sitting well with his delicate nose, and it left him uncomfortable knowing they'd never have hugged him if he hadn't made a fool out of himself. Growling at the group, Keith pulled him backwards so his back hit his husband's broad chest   
"That's enough pawing at my husband. He's fine"  
Zethrid and Ezor didn't say anything, shrugging at each other and returning to where they'd been playing cards with two soldiers that must have been recruits. One looked like a smaller version of Zethrid, like if one was to cut her off at her knees, while the other... for a split tick looked so much like Lotor that he found himself staring. Not quite smiling at him, Acxa hesitated before asking   
"We were just learning how to play UNO with Katie. Would you like to join us?"  
Pidge hissed at the name Katie, Lance dropped his head back onto Keith's shoulder. His husband's scent was filled with annoyance and possessiveness. Lance swore he could taste Keith's warning to others on the tip of his tongue   
"He needs to eat breakfast first"  
"He needs to explain last night too"  
Lance's gut rolled. Pidge was too smart for her own good. There was no way he couldn't tell them... despite how embarrassing he found it  
"I... I'm not going to get out of this, am I?"  
"Not as long as your sick"  
Kissing the side of his head and rubbing his hands up and down Lance's upper arms, Keith tried to buy him more time   
"It's a good thing he's not sick"  
"Babe..."  
"You're not sick anymore. And it's not like you're contagious"  
"I don't know... there seems to be something in the air. If I pinky promise that I'm ok, will you believe me?"  
Pidge sighed dramatically at the pair of them   
"Pinky promising on the finger you refuse to wear doesn't count"  
"I don't need it"  
"All that hard work! I even put in a vibration setting for you and Keith"  
Lance wasn't sure whether to laugh or be mortified... As it stood, option b seemed the way to go  
"Pidge!"  
"What? I was trying to make it practical"  
"Alright you two, no more arguing. Lance, come sit down babe. Maybe if we get lucky, we can watch Pidge lose at UNO"  
"Pffft. See if I worry about you in the future. As for losing at UNO, these poor losers are about to make me rich"

Guided to sit a few chairs down, Keith moved his chair up behind him so Lance could sit sideways and watch the game. Pidge was ruthless. He almost felt bad for the two Galra   
"Babe, who are they?"  
"Just recruits"  
Mentally rolling his eyes, Lance sighed  
"I know that. I wanted to know their names. That tall one looks like he's the son of Lotor and Acxa... He's actually kind of cute"  
Growling, Lance found himself manhandled into Keith's lap  
"You're my husband"  
"I know that. I was simply making the observation. Plus... he keeps looking at us and I don't know what to do"  
It was true. Each time the Galra's pinky-purple eyes were cast their way, Lance felt a chill run down his spine. He hadn't even met the stranger, so wasn't sure how he could have insulted him  
"You don't have to do anything. They're probably shocked from how cuddly I am with you"  
"You're as bad as Kosmo when it comes to pats and love"  
"Only from you. We need to make plans after this. We're both going to need to pack"

Lance wasn't looking forward to packing or to moving. He was all for being with Keith constantly, because he found it nearly impossible to truly be mad with the man, but they'd only need back together and Keith was acting seriously possessive, especially with the way he was pressing against his stomach like he was trying to shield their twins. His husband knew his stomach hurt, yet had lifted him out of his chair like it was nothing. Taking Keith's hands off of his stomach, he interlaced their fingers, leaning back to whisper  
"Can you not move me like that?"  
"What? Why? Is something wrong?"  
Now Lance felt bad... Keith didn't seem to realise that they were going to adjust their actions to accommodate his new "condition", his husband merely wanted to hold him. Kissing Keith's jaw, he hoped he'd softened the harshness of his whispered request  
"No... no, you're pressing on my stomach, and... I'm a bit nervy with everyone here"  
"Quiznak... I'm sorry, babe. I should have..."  
"Keith, don't. I didn't mean to imply anything, or to upset you..."  
"I should have thought... you were just sick..."  
Fuck... He'd really upset Keith, or rather because of him, Keith was upset with himself. Turning in Keith's hold, he gave Keith a soft smile  
"And I'm not going to break. My nerves are being stupid and my stomach still feels tense. I don't know about you, but I don't want to wind up back in the bathroom so soon"  
"I don't either... is... has it been that bad?"  
"It wasn't too bad this morning. It's more annoying than anything"  
"I'm sorry..."  
How was he supposed to try and be happy about the pregnancy if Keith was apologising?  
"Please stop apologising. I don't want you to treat me like I'm made of glass. I don't want your pity or your sympathy. You said you were happy about this, so I want you to be happy"  
"I don't want to see you suffer"  
"I'm not. We just need to find a new rhythm now it's not just us to think about. I love you, and I love your cuddles, but I'm not up for suddenly being picked up or manhandled right now. It's a new situation for us, so of course, things are going to happen... but we can talk about it, right?"  
"Yeah. Yeah, baby. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. I'm... mad for not thinking about it"  
"You didn't have to think about it because it's been a long time since your touch caused us any major issues. I'm still getting better, and I... feel shitty for telling you that I can't do this long-distance thing anymore. I feel like I failed you because I can't cope without you"  
"No. No, you haven't. You're so fucking strong"  
"I haven't felt that strong lately"  
"That's not your fault. You didn't ask for these panic attacks, or for this... sickness..."  
Dropping his gaze to his lap, Lance's heart felt heavy  
"Still. I should be better by now"  
"You are doing so much better"  
"I had a seizure in front of everyone... I feel like shit lying to them"  
"If you don't want to lie, I'll support you. I've got your back, no matter what"

Sighing to himself, Lance wished he could see in himself what Keith seemed to see. Pidge had been so shaken by his seizure. He'd scared Keith and Shiro... and poor Curtis... he'd basically stolen the man's boyfriend away with no explanation. He wasn't particularly close to Curtis, yet he respected the man and knew Shiro loved him deeply. He also didn't want to be the cause of further complications between them   
"Um... babe... do you know when the Atlas will be arriving?"  
"Probably about now. Why? What is it?"  
"I want to apologise to Curtis... and I want to explain things to him"  
"You don't need to do that. He'll understand"  
"He shouldn't have to understand. He adores Shiro. Shiro... he talked to me about how Curtis helps him through his nightmares and panic attacks. I... thanks to you, I know I'm not going to get better without being honest and Shiro said much the same thing. I want to explain to him, maybe not that I'm pregnant yet, but that I had a major episode and that nothing happened"  
"You don't need to explain, but we can if you really want to"  
He wanted to for Shiro's sake. He wanted to help preserve Shiro's happiness   
"I think I need to. Can we go before we eat? While there aren't that many people around and before Veronica finds me?"  
"You're scared of what she'll say, aren't you?"  
"A bit... I haven't even explained things to mami. She worries so much with me being out here and the time thing makes it hard... It's been several phoebs for me. She gets confused with the time, then I get confused..."  
"I know I've had issues with Veronica in the past, but I think she'd understand if we, if you, wanted to tell her"  
"I don't want to make her worry. Do you know how much she'll nag about all the missions and supply runs I've done alone? I want to feel normal"

In other words, he mentally couldn't handle being pregnant and everyone constantly keeping an eye on his every move because they thought he was going to have a sudden seizure. Kissing his hair, Keith nodded  
"We can go find Shiro and Curtis right now. I can message Shiro, that's probably going to be easier"  
"Yeah... um... do you think he can meet us near the staff door around the side? I don't want anyone overhearing us"  
"Sure. I'm proud of you, babe"  
"Don't be too proud, I still have time to chicken out"  
"You won't. You're so much stronger than you know"

Heading back through the outpost, Shiro and Curtis were waiting for them when they arrived. Despite standing close to each other, Lance was sure there was some kind of lingering tension there. Feeling Keith's hand on his shoulder tighten, it seemed his husband had noticed it too. Raising his hand to greet them, Shiro's smile seemed slightly faked  
"Hey, Lance. Keith. I got your message, you said you wanted to talk?"  
"Lance wants to talk to Curtis if that's alright?"  
Curtis looked mildly surprised, as Lance nodded at Keith's words  
"You want to talk to me? Are you sure?"  
Curtis's tone rubbed his instincts the wrong way, despite there being no malice in it  
"Yeah. Umm... if that's ok. It won't take very long, I promise"  
Shiro seemed as confused as Curtis was  
"Lance, is something the matter? Did something happen?"  
"No. No, it's ok. I just need to borrow your boyfriend for a tick. I thought maybe we could talk on the other side of the door?"  
Originally he'd intended to explain things in front of Shiro and Keith, but with both of them being overly concerned about him, he didn't want them interrupting   
"Sure. I don't see why not. Keith and I will wait here for you"  
"Thanks, Shiro"  
Leaning into him, Keith softly whispered  
"I thought we were going to talk in a group"  
"I know... but... I want to do this right. I'll be on the other side of the door, just there. Ok?"  
"I don't know..."  
"Babe. If something happens, you are literally two ticks away. Let me do this for myself"  
"Alright..."  
Kissing Keith's cheek, his husband released him. Walking forward, Lance used his hand to open the door, grateful that his biometrics could be read through the glove.

Following him outside, Curtis leaned back against the outpost wall, while Lance wrapped his arms around himself in a self hug of support. Now they were alone, he needed a moment to figure out his words   
"Lance, what did you want to talk about?"  
Nearly flinching, once again Curtis had done nothing wrong  
"I want to explain why Shiro came to pick me up"  
"Oh, is that all? He already explained it"  
"I know he did. But I wanted to talk to you myself about it..."  
"You don't need to"  
"I do!"  
Yelling at Curtis, Curtis raised an eyebrow  
"Sorry. Sorry. Dios. I'm so bad at this. Last movement when I was on Altea, I had a major appointment scheduled. I don't know if Shiro explained to you, or you know what I went through, but this appointment was really important to me. Keith was supposed to be there for it, and I ended up having a full-blown panic attack because he wasn't... I... something bad happened to me, and it's left me not able to trust a lot of people, even people I see as friends..."  
"Shiro explained that you were tortured..."  
That was pretty much common knowledge despite how he wished it wasn't   
"Yeah... I have... I have permanent brain damage from it. Not everyone knows and I don't like talking about it. But Shiro... he's so stupidly "Space Dad" like. I hated him... for a while there I really hated him. His clone Kuron..."  
Shaking his head, he didn't want to go there even if his mouth did  
"I was hurt and hating everyone. Keith came along and forced so much love down my throat that it still scares me. He encouraged me to try and open up... and to trust. Shiro was... well, he's in that circle of trust. And I feel really bad that he had to come to help me. I wasn't in a good mental space. It was like being in a panic attack days... I um... I also get seizures, especially when I'm stressing. You're the first person outside of this circle that I wanted to tell because I know how much you love Shiro and Shiro adores you. Hunk told me about that article, so I wanted to explain what happened that day. Shiro found me in the bushes at the hospital. He helped calm me down from my appointment. That attack was so bad I couldn't walk without help... I guess what I really wanted to say was that there's nothing going on there. I panicked and didn't know who else to call when I couldn't get through to Keith. Shiro stayed in my room while he was here because of I... I sometimes hurt myself during an attack... and... I just don't want to hurt Shiro or ruin his happiness. He's so in love with you, and he's done so much for me... and for Keith..."

Wiping his eyes, he hoped Curtis didn't think he was aiming for a sympathy vote. He was simply so nervous that his body defaulted to tears  
"And he deserves to be happy. I wanted to explain things to you myself, because I felt you deserved to understand. It's not easy being on the outside... it really kind of quiznakking sucks. I want Shiro to be able to talk to you and not feel he has to hide everything... I haven't told my friends about my seizures... I don't want any kind of pity. I don't want them to feel they have to babysit me... I'm sorry... Keith says I ramble"

Curtis took a few ticks before pinching the bridge of his nose in a very Shiro manner  
"Shiro did explain things. But I appreciate how hard it had to have been for you to approach me. And I thank you for doing it face to face. Can I ask you something?"  
Slowly Lance nodded, not sure where this was going  
"Are you getting help for this?"  
Brushing off the slightly insulted feeling, Lance nodded again  
"I have a counsellor I talk to regularly and I'm going to be moving to Daibazaal with Keith until my health improves. Everything is so complicated and it just got even more complicated. I haven't melted down that bad since... in a long while and I only panicked more when I couldn't calm down. I didn't even know about the article until Hunk told me. I don't follow news from that side of the universe. Shiro really loves you. He talked about how good you are to him, and how you work through his PTS... That's why I wanted to tell you everything myself without him or Keith interrupting and doing that thing where they assure it's ok, and don't let you talk properly"  
"Shiro's "space dad" role?"  
Curtis smiled at him, loosening the tendrils of dread around his stomach   
"Yeah... He's worse than my own dad, half the time"  
"He cares a lot for all of you"  
"I know he does. That's part of what made it so hard to let him back in. I want him to... I guess I want him to be there as a friend, but at the same time, I want him to be selfish and to pursue the things he loves, and wants, like a future with him. We all lost so much... so I never want to get in the way of his happiness"  
"I wasn't impressed that he dropped everything the way he did, but I'm glad he could be here for you. I knew nothing would have happened between the two of you, but with how evasive he was..."  
Curtis trailed off, so Lance finished his sentence for him  
"It really fucking sucked?"  
"Yeah. That"  
"I might... not be able to let you in... to trust you. But I don't want to disclude you either. I want to try and be friends. So I need to apologise if I fuck things up beforehand, because I don't realise sometimes that I have... I hope this is making more sense to you than it sounds like it's making me to me"  
"You're a good guy Lance. Not everyone would admit things like this for the sake of their friend. I hope we can be good friends too, not just for Shiro's sake"  
"I'd like that"  
Feeling somewhat self-conscious and annoyed at himself, Lance nodded again  
"Good. That's good... and can I ask you not to tell anyone about my seizures being caused by brain damage"  
"I won't, but can I ask why? They're not something you can control"  
"I know they're not... I just... I know they care, yet when people know they start acting like I'm not me. I can't stand them watching me, like they're waiting for something to go wrong"  
"I don't think they'll judge you, or treat you any differently"  
"But they do. I had a seizure last night in front of everyone. Pidge was hysterical, so was Hunk from what Keith told me in the bathroom this morning. Plus, they've already made a fuss over it this morning. It makes it hard to focus on everything else"  
"I still think it's in your best interests to tell everyone, or at least those you're close to"  
"If you mean Veronica, she scares me. She scared everyone. That's why I wanted to talk to you away from her, or I'd never hear the end of it"  
Curtis gave a sigh  
"She certainly is headstrong"  
"I know... Anyway, we should head back in before Keith and Shiro worry any further. All your meals and stuff here are on the house, just let the staff know I said as much. I don't know how long you guys want to be on land"

With its size, the Atlas had to currently orbiting the planet, as there was no way it'd fit in the parking area without walking up to the outpost being one hell of a trek. It was the only logical conclusion Lance could make.

"We intend to leave once you've had time to talk to your staff. Shiro explained that the decision was reached last night, so I'm assuming you'll need time to pack"  
"You don't mind?"  
"No. If something happens, we have wormhole capabilities"  
"This is true. Right now I'd give my right arm for a generator. It's a movement long flight to Erathus, or a movement and a bit flight to Daibazaal"  
"I expected it'd be much longer"  
"The Telula, my ship, is pretty fast for her class size. A smaller ship would probably take about two movements, either way, maybe longer if it was something small like a pod"  
"You seem to know your ships"  
Shrugging, Lance dropped his self hug   
"You get to learn a thing or two out here or you'd never survive"  
"I suppose not..."

Letting the conversation run dry, Lance let them back into the outposts. Shiro was leaning against one side of the hallway with Keith leaning against the other  
"Lance. How'd it go?"  
Rolling his eyes at his husband, Keith didn't need to say his name   
"I think it went good... Curtis?"  
Curtis laughed softly, before smiling at Shiro. Shiro reaching out his hand, with Curtis moving to take it in his   
"Lance was telling me how you came to his rescue. He's a good guy. We talked about some things, and he's permitted us to talk about his seizures and what you've been helping him through with his panic attacks"

Glancing past his boyfriend, Lance shook his head as Shiro silently asked if he knew about the pregnancy. The poor man probably would have... actually, no. He didn't know how Curtis would react. He might have tried to take the first step with Curtis, but that was as far as he could go right now  
"I am sorry that I left like that"  
"I know you are. Lance wanted to make sure that I wasn't mad at you, is misunderstood anything. It seems like you've helped him through a lot"  
"He has. He's done so much for both of us"  
Kissing his hairline, Lance wasn't sure why Keith had agreed with Curtis when he was clearly talking to Shiro  
"You're both family to me. As your "Space Dad", I'm putting my foot down and we're all going to have breakfast now that is out of the way. Lance, you need to keep eating"

Stupid "Space Dad" mode had been activated. When Shiro married Curtis, would that make both of them "Space Dad"? Or did he need to find a name for Curtis? "Space Dad" kind of felt like a special name between them all. He didn't know Curtis well enough to give him a nickname. Maybe he could think of something during breakfast?  
"I know I do. I was going to, but you know what it's like"  
"I do. Now it's time to eat, then time to pack"


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double updates? I think yesssssss

Preparing to leave the outpost left Lance spending most of the day running around, despite Keith's continued nagging that he should rest. Between packing, reassigning staff, and calling his mother to inform her he was going to be spending the next phoeb on Daibazaal, and dealing with another crippling bout of morning sickness, Lance felt like he was sleepwalking by the time Veronica finally caught up with him. Mad at him for not informing her he was sick, or calling her to come to get him, his sister called him an idiot so many times that by the end of it, Lance was completely done with people, finally letting Keith whisk him off to his ship given the Telula would be staying on world in case Lucteal or Daehra needed her. Having mostly built the outpost into what it was with his decisions, hanging over the reins felt like he was proving he was as stupid as everyone said. They were supposed to be hiring Daehra's staff soon. The idea of making her wait even longer for more staff felt cruel. She was so passionate about medicine, and so beyond happy to share her knowledge. Lance knew she was scared overtaking on a teaching role, so had planned to be there to assist... by providing comic relief and encouragement.

There was also the fact that lunch had been painful to deal with. An exhausting experience in its self. It was clear that no one wanted to respect his wishes of not discussing his seizures or his health. Hunk sparking the topic back to life as he placed down a plate laden with twice as much food as everyone else's in front him, then enquired to how he was doing after his seizure... then if he'd had another since and if that was why he and Keith had missed breakfast that morning. Now he had no choice but to address the issue, purely because he was miserable with all the fuss being made over him. Why couldn't the people who cared about him trust him enough to understand that maybe he already at under control, or maybe he was taking steps towards getting things under control, without jumping straight to lecturing in the name of "love"?

*  
With the miracle of wormhole travel, Lance had barely flopped down on Keith's small bed before his husband was shaking his shoulder to tell them they'd arrived on Altea. With the Atlas taking an extended stay, of a movement on ground, they'd landed on Altea itself rather than synching into orbit around the planet. Sighing softly at Keith, he shot him his best puppy-dog eyes as he pulled his husband down into a forced cuddle. Not one to say no to cuddles, Keith laughed softly as he wrapped his arms around him  
"You know we have to get up, babe"

Kissing his forehead, Lance hugged his husband tighter. Getting up felt too much like effort. Keith had left him to settle in while he moved his ship on board the Atlas. Unfortunately for him, Keith was a skilled and proficient pilot, he'd barely been gone for 10 doboshes before he was back again   
"I know... but we cooooould just take a nap"  
"You're that tired?"  
"Mmm, beyond tired... I want to nap with my husband"

Rolling over to lay back, Keith tugged him gently until Lance was half laying on the half-Galra with his head resting on Keith's chest. It was his favourite place to nap. To be lulled off to sleep by the sound of his husband's heart, and to know he was safe in his arms   
"I wouldn't say no to a nap either, if I'm honest. I'm tired from watching you run around all day"  
"Then nap with me..."  
"As much as I want to say yes... we can't. Shiro went ahead and booked you an appointment for tonight, before dinner"  
Since when was Shiro booking his appointments for him? And why hadn't either Shiro or Keith asked his permission?  
"What? Why? We're already here a quintant ahead of schedule"  
"He called up to book you an appointment tomorrow, but they had an opening today. He mentioned you had blood tests done, so wanted to make you one so we could get your results"  
"Why didn't you tell me? All I want to do is sleep and now I have to go be poked at, then sit through dinner with everyone being all annoying again"  
Rubbing his arm, Keith leaned up to kiss his hair. Rubbing his cheek against his husband's neck, Lance drew his leg up to rest over Keith's lower stomach. If Keith could be a cuddly octopus and make everything alright, why couldn't he cuddle his way into a little leeway  
"I can see if we can move it. I don't think we can get out of dinner though. Coran's excited we're all here"

Lance could tell from Keith's tone and worried scent that his husband didn't want to reschedule the appointment. The memory of how upset over Keith had been on the previous night's seizure and the potential damage it could have done to the twins came to the front of his mind. It wasn't just the two of them in this relationship anymore  
"No... I suppose it's best we get it done. Am I having another scan?"  
"I think so. Can I be there this time?"  
Lance frowned. Where was Keith going to be if it wasn't with him?  
"Why are you asking?"  
"Because I wasn't there the first time... I didn't know if you wanted me there this time"  
"Idiot. You're the father... You should see what you and that dick of yours did"  
"I seem to remember you liking what me and my dick at the time"  
"It wasn't the worst way to spend a heat... I want you there for these appointments... We can't take back you missing the first one, but I want you to meet your children too. They kind of look like black spots to being with, then Altean's can zoom right in on them. It's kind of weird and kind of cool... and..."  
And last time he'd been too upset and shocked to accept the moment. Shiro had seen the twins better than he had... Shiro wasn't even the father and he knew more about the twins than both of them did. His stomach dropped at the thought. He should have been stronger, but he hadn't even been able to ask anything about them   
"Babe, you don't need to worry. I'm looking forward to seeing them"  
Letting Keith think that was what was wrong was kinder than admitting he was already a failure of a mother  
"Sorry. We should get up and get ready"  
"Lance?"  
"It's fine... I'm fine. If we stay here any longer, I'm going to fall asleep"  
"I wish you could. You need your rest"  
Not "I wish we could", or "I wish we could because I've missed you". His anxiety being petty over his husband's wording was the cherry on the top of the situation. Keith was going to see their twins... but what if this was what drove him away? 

*  
Brimming with nervous energy, Keith couldn't keep still. He didn't know if he wanted to hold Lance's hand or keep his arm wrapped around his husband's waist. The nervousness coursing through his system came from the possibility of the scan results being bad, yet what kept him unsure of how to act was the fact he was going to see their babies. Despite how he acted, and his gratefulness to Shiro, his heart hurt over not being there for that crucial first scan where Lance's pregnancy was confirmed. It was a huge moment in their lives, and yet another moment he'd missed.

Annoying Lance with his nervous energy, his husband had snapped at him to "just hold his quiznakking hand" and "to calm down because he was being weird". Leaving Keith having to be content with simply holding Lance's hand as they walked up to the hospital. He wasn't fond of all the memories from the last time they'd been here, especially having to wait through Lance's surgery then recovery, with the constant fear of what the bleeding in Lance's brain could mean, but again, the twins were where is his mind was at. He hadn't seen any photos of his soon to be sibling. This scan would be the first ultrasound he'd ever attended... and he was going to see their twins...

Following Shiro's instructions on where he needed to take Lance, the clinic area was empty. Outside the windows, night has already started to creep through. Feeling Lance shiver next to him Keith took his jacket off, draping it over his shoulders  
"You ok?"  
Staring at his lap, Lance nodded  
"Yeah..."  
"You're not being very convincing"  
"Sorry. It's weird being back here so soon..."  
"Is this the same clinic as last time?"  
"Yeah. It's the Altean equivalent of an ultrasound clinic. Even though they don't do ultrasounds the same way as they do on Earth"  
"Was it busy? Did you have to wait long?"  
Raising his gaze to look away from him, Lance pulled the front of Keith's jacket together   
"I don't want to talk about it"  
Right. He'd left Lance waiting...   
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say"  
"I don't want to think about it... it was embarrassing and I want to forget"

Lance's soft mumbling felt like a punch to the gut. Lance had summoned up all his courage thinking Keith would be there for him  
"How long did you wait?"  
"Didn't I tell you I don't want to talk about it? It was a stupid misunderstanding on my end"  
"I want to talk about it because you're obviously still upset about it"  
"Upset about it!? Fine. I waited vargas. Vargas of stupid sympathetic glances as time went on and it became clear you weren't going to be here. Then Shiro had to fucking carry me around in front of everyone. So yeah. I don't want to talk about it. I don't feel comfortable sitting here and waiting, only for them to act all surprised when they actually see you here with me"  
"Babe..."  
"Don't. I don't want to fight. I know how excited you are to be meeting your twins... so can we focus on that instead"  
"Our twins..."  
"What?"  
"You said "your" twins"  
"Oh. Same difference. You're the father"  
The shrug that accompanied Lance's words wasn't right. Lance was upset, and trying to play it down. Except, he was failing miserably  
"You're their father too"  
"I think I'm the mother in this case. I provided the womb and the egg..."

Keith's slumped forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees as he buried his face in his hands  
"You make it sound... I thought you were ok with this"  
"I don't know what I am. I couldn't handle looking at the first ultrasound. Shiro had to talk for me. I'm already stuffing everything up, and... What kind of a mother am I? I'm biologically a man. I look like a man... but I don't know what I am anymore"  
Sitting back up, Keith wrapped his arms around his husband   
"You're an idiot. Why do we have to label it? You're you, and that's the only thing that matters to me"  
"Can you still say that if my body changes? You were attracted to me when I was a guy... I've always been a guy... I don't know what to call this body. I don't even know what to call me. What if my body changes? What if I grow breasts? Or things down there change?"  
"I'll still love you"  
"Even if you're not sexually attracted to me!?"  
"Babe, sex is only a bonus. I love having sex with you. But I love you being safe and comfortable even more. Your heat was... long, hard and... amazing. I was even planning the things we could do the next time... You're amazing. These twins are amazing. We don't know what's going to happen, but we'll get there"  
Giving in to his hold, Lance rested his forehead against Keith's temple  
"I feel like my body is betraying me again. It's going to grow and change... and all I want is to be normal"  
"You are normal"  
"I'm not. You saw the way everyone wanted to know about my seizures. I don't have a choice anymore. I have to tell them so they don't keep pushing things. Then... then they're going to want to know what I'm doing about it... I wish we'd stayed in bed... but thinking like that makes me an even worse husband"  
"Why? Today has been exhausting for you"  
"Because that would mean delaying you seeing them even longer. They're yours and you had to wait..."  
He's only found out about them the day before... Thinking about it, it felt like a movement had passed in the last quintant and a half  
"We're here now, and we're both going to see them again together. You said you could process it all, right? Then it's like we're both meeting them properly for the first time"  
"I wanted you with me... so badly..."  
"I know... but we get to see them again today... and I can't help but feel so fucking proud of you"  
"What happens when I start showing?"  
"Babe... I didn't notice it before, but you have the smallest bump already. I noticed when you pulled me down onto my bed and your shift moved"  
"I do?"  
"Mhmm. It's small, like after dinner with when mami cooks... you know, when we all eat way too much"  
Moving his left hand to Lance's stomach, he rubbed his hand over the tiny swell. It was like Lance had popped a little overnight  
"Can you feel it?"  
"It feels firm... what does it feel like when I rub your stomach"  
"Weird... I feel like I'm hyper-focused on your fingers... I guess maybe nice too. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm nervous for this and I'm nervous for dinner"  
"It's ok..."  
"It's not ok. You're my husband and I've been taking all my stuff out on you"  
"You said it's been hard..."  
"I tried to do everything I used to, before you came back into my life, but I can't force those emotions down like I used to... and I know I was out there doing what I could, but my head's stupid"  
"Your head isn't stupid. After all, who's lips am I going to kiss if I can't kiss yours"  
"Have you tried using a mirror?"  
Snorting, Keith shook his head  
"I thought you'd tell me I should kiss your arse"  
"If you're offering..."  
"Don't tempt me..."  
"I better not... you'll never let me finally have my nap if I do"  
"I'm sorry you couldn't nap earlier. I would have let you if we'd had time"  
"I could nap right now..."  
"You could, or we could sleep in my bed where I can do all sorts of things to you"  
"Like what?"  
"Cuddle you. Undress you. Watching you snoring your head off"  
"And they say romance is dead"  
"Wait until the day of the festival, I'm going to give you all the romance you want"  
"I'll hold you to that. You know, though, you haven't asked me to go with you"  
"I'm not letting you go with anyone other than me. We've only had one real date, so it's way past time I spoil you"

Keith had hesitated to ask Lance to the festival given it was Allura day. He wanted to respect his husband's wishes, though now that he could smell how happy he'd made the Cuban, he wished he'd asked sooner   
"You really want me?"  
"Idiot. I want you all of the time. I don't care if it's riding every single ride and eating way too much, or spending vargas sitting on the bathroom floor cuddling you. I want to make our marriage work"  
"That's all I want... to figure this out. But I think I'd still prefer eating too much to be stuck in the bathroom. Vomiting gets old real quick"  
"I'm sure it does... Hey, Lance. You know I love you, don't you"  
"Yeah. I do... I mean, I know"  
Nuzzling into Lance's face his husband pushed him away with a laugh. His smile was bright and brilliant. How he wished Lance would always look at him like this all the time  
"Your mullet tickles, mullet!"

Taken through to an examination room, Lance's scent had taken on a sour edge. Sitting in the chair closest to the doctor's desk, his husband looked drowned in Keith's jacket, Keith not able to help himself as he straightened out the collar as rubbed away invisible crease lines as they waited the few doboshes for the doctor join them. Smiling as he walked into the room, the man didn't seem to be of Altean origins, instead, he appeared to be a mix between Olkari and something else   
"Lance. Keith. I'm sorry for the short wait, one of my patients went into labour not that long ago so I was just checking in on her progress. I'm Doctor Ceelra, and I've taken over your case now that your pregnancy has been confirmed. I hope you don't mind, but I do need to take a few ticks to review your file"  
Lance opened his mouth, only for nothing to come out   
"That's fine. We're grateful that you could get us in tonight"

A few ticks passed with the Doctor tapped away at the keyboard connected to his monitor. Keith felt sick to his stomach with nerves. Not clearing when the man finally turned his attention back to them  
"Alright, Lance. I've taken a look at your blood tests, and you appear to be both dehydrated and malnourished last movement. How have you gone with your intake since your last appointment?"  
"Um... I've tried. My morning sickness has been pretty bad. I haven't been able to keep much down. I had two IV bags last night...?"  
Looking to him, Keith nodded, giving Lance the best reassuring smile he could   
"Two IV bags and a folate injection. He was able to keep some dry crackers down for about a varga, and a little tea, but he threw up shortly after breakfast today"  
"And what colour has your urine output been?"  
Lance squirmed, his scent wasn't happy at all  
"Dark yellow. I know it's a sign of dehydration"  
"And seizures?"  
"He's had two in the last movement"  
"Are you aware of the possible complications that seizures could bring? I see you aren't currently taking medication..."  
"I don't like... drugs of any kind near me. I don't want to take make medication"  
"Understandable given you're a recovering addict. However, I strongly recommend that we start an active plan for your seizure control. There are safer drugs we can give you that won't affect the foetuses. I also want to start you on twice-weekly folic supplements. As your husband seems aware, folate is key for development during the early stages. You should be eating plenty of leafy vegetables, and a wide variety of fruits and vegetables. When seizures occur it can be caused by both too much folic acid or too little. That's why I recommend one pill every three days, of a low dose. I'll also give you a prescription for a medication that will help control your seizures. Due to the damage you've been diagnosed with PTS rather than PTE, this is pending given your previous relationship with drugs..."

Fisting the fabric of his jeans, Keith knew the man had to be frank. But Lance felt guilty enough about his addiction. He didn't want to be on drugs, and he'd said as much  
"Is there anything else he can try. Other than medication?"  
"Medication is the best option for Lance and your children. I cannot force you to take it, but you do run the risk of miscarriage and foetal death. Possibly the death of Lance if there's a placental abruption. His body initially didn't have the ability to carry, which means we are unsure how to proceed and will need to reassess during phoebly examinations. I feel confident that with Keith's partial Galra genetics, that if Lance does go into labour after 7 months there's a raised chance of survival. But I strongly urge you to monitor your own health. I see you have issues with anxiety and depression?"  
"Our situation has changed, and I'll be living with my husband full time now"  
"I still want to give you something for your nerves. Running in a constant state of stress may have a range of physical symptoms attached, such as motion sickness, high blood pressure, weight gain, increased depression, lack of libido"

Counting things off on his fingers, Ceelra had no idea Keith wanted to break them. Keith didn't want to know all the risks, though he did, in this manner. He much preferred doctors like Daehra who were honest and open, without the silent judging that seemed to be happening. Keith also wasn't sure if it wasn't Lance's scent putting him on edge. His husband seemed to be sinking further down in his chair with each word out the man's mouth. He'd seemed so nice to begin with.

"Now Lance, I do need to do an external examination. No sexually transmitted diseases were found in your blood tests. And just for clarification against the file, this is your second pregnancy. The first ending in miscarriage?"  
"Yes"  
"And you have had problems with your menstrual cycle?"  
"The last one was longer than usual"  
Quiznak. He wanted to reach out and pull Lance close  
"Following complications from a case of Vuulufal flu?"  
"Yes"  
"Ok. Now, why don't you head behind the curtains here and take your pants off? I want you to lay on your right side with your left knee brought up to your chest for me. Keith, if you'd like to wait outside..."  
"Keith stays... I mean, he's my husband and the father. He stays"  
"Very well. If you'd like to go ahead, I'll be in after I write up these prescriptions for you"

Lance's hands had been shaking too hard to undo his pants. His husband jittery as Keith helped him undress his lower half and settle on the examination bed. Stroking his husband's hair, Keith was stuck half bent as tried to keep Lance calm. Kissing the corner of his lips as he nuzzled into his face, trying to distracted him from what was about to come. When the Doctor pushed the curtain back, Lance whimpered softly  
"Alright. Let's take a look back here and see what's going on. Have you had any pain or discomfort when using the toilet?"  
"N-no"  
"Good. So what I'm going to do first is an external examination. Then I'm going to use a speculum to take a deeper look. The speculum may be a bit uncomfortable, but it is necessary"

Keith winced in sympathy when he caught sight of the speculum. He felt even worse when Lance latched into his hand with a bruising grip, eyes scrunched tightly as whimpered, unable to relax over the intrusion. Detecting blood in the air, he found that Lance had bitten down so hard on his lip that he'd drawn blood. With his husband unable to respond, Keith was left to answer the doctor's questions over his husband's health and "how remarkable it was that there was very little damage". 

By the end of the examination, neither of them were particularly happy. Lance would need a cesarean unless his body adjusted to pregnancy. Trying his hardest Lance had whispered softly that he needed to go back in time and murder whoever thought up speculums in the first place. His joking might have been funny if his body wasn't trembling. All Keith wanted to do was take Lance back to his ship so he could take that nap he so badly deserved.

"Now that all that unpleasantness is out the way, it's time for your scan. Lance, why don't you go ahead and roll onto your back for me, while I have a nurse bring in the scanner"

Helping his husband onto his back, Keith then cupped Lance's face in his hands. His husband's eyes were filled with the tears he'd refused to shed   
"How do you feel? Are you sore?"  
Shaking his head, Lance sniffled  
"It feels gross between my legs"  
"Let me clean you up. You did good"  
"It hurt. I hate those things"  
Kissing Lance's forehead, Keith smiled   
"You got zero envy from me. With everything else, I forgot we got to finish things with the scan"  
"I did too... He said things looked ok. That's good, right?"  
"I think he would have said if something was wrong. He doesn't seem to have much filter on his mouth. Let me wipe you down, if it gets too uncomfortable just tell me and I'll stop"  
"I'd rather be clean..."

Using the sheet from the bed to wipe his husband's arse and thighs free of lube, he then used the other end to cover Lance's junk and give him a bit more privacy than he'd had before. They might have all been men, yet with Lance's history on file, the doctor should have placed Lance's comfort ahead of everything else. Taking his husband's right hand in his, he nuzzled his cheek against the back of it. Now that Lance was somewhat more comfortable, his excitement was growing again  
"You're like a big puppy with all these pats"  
"I can't help it. We get to see our twins soon"  
"I swear if he takes any longer, I'm going to fall asleep here"

"Fortunately for you both, we're ready to perform the scan now"  
Followed in by a rather plain, yet smiling woman, Lance seemed to know her  
"Hi, Meria"  
"Hello Lance, it's lovely to see you again. This must be your husband Keith?"  
"Meria was the nurse on duty when Shiro came with me. Keith got the dates wrong thanks to work, but he's ready to meet the twins"  
"That's excellent. I see your belly is already exposed for me, so I'll go ahead and pop this one in place"  
The device she carried with her looked like a breakfast table, especially when placed over Lance's lap. Activating the device, she tapped on the holopad and soon a screen he hadn't noticed on the wall came to life. Keith had to hand it to the Altean's, when it came to technology they made it appear seamless. Synching the screen and the scanner, Keith's eyes widened as the image appeared on the screen. His eyes rushing to fill with the flood of emotion he felt over the two small humans inside his husband. Gripping Lance's hand harder, he couldn't take his eyes off the screen. The word "incredible" didn't come close to how he felt over it. They were their twins. The two tiny humans they'd created together...  
"Keith? Babe?"  
Pulled back to reality, Keith realised tears were racing down his face   
"They're perfect... Babe... look at them... look how small they are"  
Wiping at his face with his right hand, Lance squeezed the left one  
"How do you feel, daddy?"  
"P-proud... so fucking proud... I've never seen anything like it... that's our twins... babe..."  
Overwhelmed, Keith leaned down to kiss Lance passionately, not caring about the tears or snot as he tried to convert every ounce of happiness he was feeling into the kiss.

"Both have good heartbeats. You can see the separate sacs. Shall I go ahead and zoom in now? Or would you like a moment?"  
Meria's voice made Lance jump, his husband blushing slightly as Keith broke the kiss to stare down at the man he adored  
"Can you zoom in, please? Keith wasn't here last time and he's been so excited to see them"  
"Here we go"  
Keeping close to Lance, Keith sidestepped around the corner of the bed, his cheek against Lance's as he stared up at the screen in wonder. He didn't think he'd be able to see things so clearly on the screen, yet he found himself letting out a sob at their tiny forming hands. And their noses! They had tiny little noses! And... and... god... he was so fucking proud... And quiznak... Lance's tiny tummy was adorable. Kissing his cheek, Lance sighed softly   
"Is it everything you thought it would be?"  
"And more... we're going to be parents"  
"Yeah, we are. Daddy Keith. I hope they look like you"  
"No. I hope they look like you, and have your compassion..."  
"We'll have to wait to find out... but I still think a copy of you would be adorable"  
"No one wants a copy of me"  
"I do. I mean, a baby copy. Not like a clone copy..."  
Lance was completely wrong in this instance. He'd seen his husband's baby photos, plus the photos of Lance growing up. He was a cute kind of goofy that was adorable. Taking a deep breath, his senses were flooded with Lance's exhausted scent. He was relieved to find happiness in there, but it was very nearly drowned out by how tired Lance truly was  
"They're so perfect..."  
Kissing his cheek again, Lance was amazing. More than amazing. He was incredible. And even that failed to explain everything   
"Like their daddy Keith. I love you, babe"  
"I love you too, sharpshooter"  
"Everything is looking good. You can see the growth since your last scan... and you're right on track to be giving birth on the 29th of January, by your Earth time and measurements. I'll print you a copy of the scan results"  
Keith nodded quickly   
"Is there a way to get a copy of the video?"  
Meria smiled politely   
"If you have your comms, you can film while we take the measurements. Both video files will be stored on file, so if you bring in a data chip with you for your next scan, we'll be able to upload the videos for you"  
Lance laughed softly as Keith fumbled to get his comms off his wrist and pointed at the holoscreen  
"Thank you. He's been a ball of excitement since we walked into the hospital"  
"It's nice that he could be here this time. Let's turn the volume on so you can hear their heartbeats"  
Heartbeats? They got to hear both heartbeats?! He was already feeling invincible... and couldn't stop crying even if someone paid him to. They were going to be parents!

*  
Keith was still on cloud 9 as they left the hospital. Lance was pretty much sleepwalking next to him, refusing to be carried a second time, while all Keith wanted to do was get back to his ship and look at the photos from the scan again. He was going to be a dad. Daddy Keith as Lance said... As Daddy Lance said. Having stopped to pick up the medication Lance's doctor had prescribed, the battle there had only just begun. Lance didn't want pills. Even pills that were good for him and their babies. He wasn't going to push Lance after all he'd been through that night, nor did he want to upset him at the festival, but he was sure it was one of those things where it was better for Lance to start earlier rather than later.

Keeping his husband propped up with his arm around his waist. Shiro was waiting for them not far from the hospital entrance on the grass area. Seeing his brother, he wanted to yell to the world that Lance was carrying their twins, and that their babies were healthy. Lance was getting there, the Doctor had prescribed additional pills to help with the pregnancy, and emphasised the importance of eating even if it was just grazing on small snacks through the day... Still, as worried as he was about his husband, his heart was still racing from seeing his twins. A phrase that wasn't going to get old any time soon. Feeling Lance take his hand off from around his waist, Keith looked to his husband questioningly  
"I can feel your excitement. Go jump on Shiro and work off some of this extra energy"  
"Are you sure? You're practically sleepwalking"  
"I'm sure... And I'm sure he's worried"  
"Ok. I love you"  
"I love you too, you idiot. Now go hug your brother"

Running off across the grass, Shiro caught him with ease as Keith launched himself at him. Wrapping an arm around his stomach, his older brother messed with his hair, the smile on his face wide  
"I take it everything went well"  
"I got to see them! They're so small! I'm going to be a dad"  
"Yes, you are. You're going to be a fantastic father... I don't know about a fantastic husband, you left Lance to come charging at me"  
"He told me to... he said I needed to burn off some energy. I... Shiro, they're so perfect... You could see their noses... I want to scream how perfect they are"  
Laughing happily, Shiro kissed the top of his head  
"You've come so far, Keith. I'm so proud of you. You know, Shiro's a great name for a kid"  
"We haven't even started talking names. Plus we don't know the gender... and Lance is due to give birth at the end of January, so we have time"

"Sorry, Shiro. He's been like a kid on a sugar high since the ultrasound. You should have seen him crying"  
Finally reaching them, Lance let himself be drawn into a now three-way hug  
"Shut up. I was excited. Did you see how perfect our babies are?"  
"Yeah. Just like their daddy"  
Yawning widely, Lance slumped against Shiro's broad chest. Shiro raising an eyebrow at him. Lance's eyes were already sliding shut as Shiro took over his job of holding Lance upright   
"He's exhausted"  
"Severe exhaustion is a symptom. If you guys want to crash in the palace, Coran has organised rooms for everyone"  
"I think that's the best course of action. He still needs to eat more, but the Doctor has given him I think 6 different sets of pills to help"  
"I'm not taking the pills. I just need sleep..."  
Shiro nodded, letting Keith go so he could lift Lance up into his hold. His husband groaning his disapproval  
"I can walk"  
"I think Keith's already got the walking part covered, buddy"  
"I wanna walk"  
Kissing Lance's temple, his husband wasn't getting out of being carried. His heart couldn't take anything happening because Lance had tripped and fallen  
"Nope. I'm your husband, and I want to carry you"  
"I don't wanna be carried... I'm not dying"  
"No. But you are carrying our babies. Shiro, we got to hear their heartbeats, and they said if we bring in a data chip next time, they'll put the ultrasound videos on it for us"  
"That's great guys. I'm glad it was good news for you. Let me show you through to where we're all bedding down. I think we're just going to end up crashing wherever and calling that our room for our stay"

Mumbling sleepily, Lance nosed into Keith's chest. They probably wouldn't be able to do this once Lance's stomach started swelling...  
"Can we sleep near you guys? Don't want the others to... if I wake up... yelling"  
With Shiro in full "Doting Uncle Mode", the next evolution of "Space Dad Mode" he ruffled Lance's hair as he moved past them to lead the way to the palace   
"Of course you can. I think Curtis already picked a room, so I'll give him a call. And I want to see those photos too"  
Unable to stop himself, Keith nodded quickly as he gushed   
"They look so much bigger than last time... and they're so tiny. I recorded some of it with my comms... Lance has got the smallest bump happening. I totally didn't notice until he pulled me down for cuddles. It's adorable"  
Everything he said seemed to have Shiro laughing softly, the mood so good between the three of them   
"You're showing me that too. Not the bump but the prints. The end of January... I think we can come up with a gift or two by then. And you'll need a baby shower..."  
"You two are as bad as each other. I guess we know which uncle is going to spoil them the most"  
"Damn right I am. My baby bro is growing up and having babies of his own..."  
"Mmm... I think Keith got the better deal here... I have to give birth, and he got to wreck my booty"  
"I'm smart enough not to touch that one. Did they say if... uh, how you'll be giving birth?"  
Keith shook his head, Lance was sleepy rambling and likely to say anything   
"No. Because his case is... well. They said they'd have a better idea once his body starts adapting to the pregnancy"  
"I don't wanna push them out my butt. I like my butt"  
"I know you do, babe. It's a very nice butt"  
"Yours is better... your butt in those black skinny leg jeans... it's a work of art... could stare at it all day... your butt and your face... my husband is so pretty"  
Keith felt his cheeks growing warm under Lance's praise? He wasn't sure if it was "praise" or "sleepy husband flirting"   
"I thought I was cool, big and grizzled?"  
"With a monster dick... such a big dick"

Shiro sucked in his lips, shaking with laughter as Keith blushed harder. Shiro didn't need to know about that, or the way his dick swelled and caught on Lance's soft warm walls. That had to be a Galra thing... only it'd only happened with Lance, not during puberty or those moments spent with his hand  
"Alright you, that's enough scarring, Shiro"  
"I'm just saying that with a dick like that, there's no wonder I got knocked up"  
A squeaking squeal escaped Shiro's lips, Keith groaning   
"Baaaabe, you're killing me"  
"'m sorry... love my husband so much. He's so pretty"  
"You're the pretty one"  
"Nooo... I'm ugly... my body's all dirty"  
The mood sobered immediately. Shiro's smile faltering as he gazed down at Lance. Keith loathed it when Lance spoke of himself that way  
"Babe, you're not dirty. You're not"  
"Am... feels gross"  
"What feels gross?"  
"My butt..."  
"He had an internal examination with a speculum"  
Shiro winced in sympathy at Keith's explanation   
"Yeah. Those aren't great"  
"Hate being touched by him..."  
"I know you did, but you did so well, baby. So proud of you"  
"Mmm... think I'm sleepy"  
"Then get some sleep. I've got you"  
"I wanted to walk... was so embarrassing having to be carried"  
"Oh, and here I was thinking I was being nice"  
Keith shot Shiro a clear scowl that said "don't encourage him"  
"You're nice... I'm sorry I hated you so much... just wanted to be more like you and Keith... you're both better than I am"  
Scolding Lance softly, he was sorely tempted to cover Lance's mouth   
"Ok, that's enough. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're my husband I love you. So stop being an idiot"  
"But I'm your idiot?"  
Lance sounded genuinely confused about his status as "Keith's idiot"  
"You are. We're two halves of the same idiot"  
"Hehe... that's true. You're really pretty"

Keith wasn't falling into this loop again. Not reply, a few long doboshes passed before Lance relaxed completely in his hold   
"He's asleep. Sorry, Shiro. He rambles when he gets sleepy"  
"It was entertaining while it lasted, though I'm not sure I needed to know about your monster dick"  
"I don't think you needed to know either"  
"Still, it's nice to see him being open about how he feels about you"  
"Yeah. He can be cute like that... He says he wants the twins to look like me, but I hope they look like him"  
"Why don't you just hope for one each?"  
"Because he's cuter"  
"He has you whipped. I better call Curtis, Lance distracted me"  
"He's good at that too. He wanted to stay in bed and cuddle before the appointment. I wish I could have let him. Oh! Since when do you know things about pregnancy!?"  
"I looked some stuff up after I found out Lance was"  
"You're better at this than we are... I haven't looked anything up. I don't even know what to look up"  
"Maybe you and Lance could do it together? I think he'd like that"  
"Yeah. That's a good idea... seeing the scan today. It made it so real"  
"It's only going to get realler from here on out. Don't forget if you two need anything, I'm here"  
"I know..."

Curtis met them at the palace entry, the man smiling softly when he saw Lance asleep in Keith's arms  
"Someone had a big day. Is it alright to ask how it went at the hospital?"  
Lance wanting to bring Curtis into the fold was sweet, but he knew Lance hadn't told the man about the pregnancy only the seizures  
"Good. Alright. They've given him some medication that should help with the seizures. He's in rough shape, but between the three of us we should be able to get him back on his feet"  
"It seems unfair after all you went through that he has seizures. Is there nothing that Altea can do?"  
"No. His quintessence runs higher than a normal person's constantly, so he heals faster than normal, but even with Allura's magic in his system, he couldn't heal the brain damage. When his body has multiple things to focus on healing, they all heal slowly... and he heals to scar or mottled skin most of the time. They've given him medication but he hates taking medication in way, shape or form. Now he's supposed to take like 4 of these daily, and 6 pills every three days..."  
"Ah. Well. I'm sure if you talk to him he'll realise it's for the best. I let Coran know you won't be at dinner tonight. He said he'd visit you in the morning, and not to stress"  
"Yeah. He and Lance are really close. He's like an uncle to all of us"  
"I can see why. It felt to me as if it took a lot of courage for him to talk to me"  
Keith nodded at Curtis   
"It did. His PTSD is out of control, yet he insisted he had to explain things to you because he wanted to preserve Shiro's happiness. He felt guilty taking Shiro away from you"  
"He'd only have to feel guilty if he was attempting to seduce my boyfriend"  
"He carries a lot of guilt over a lot of things. I don't know what it's called, but the area of his brain that got damaged deals with feelings. It affects his flight or fight responses. He also gets depressed because sometimes he'll get confused and he can't follow time anymore"

"Keith, I think that's enough for now. Lance isn't awake to speak for himself"  
Shiro's voice was soft but firm, Keith frowning at his brother   
"Lance wanted to be open and honest with Curtis about this. He said he really admired the way you and Curtis work through things. That's why he didn't want to put pressure on your relationship, and why he wanted Curtis to understand so he'd never think it was something it wasn't. He's stupidly soft-hearted. He'll always go to the point of self-implosion to protect the people he cares about"  
"That's a good quality to have. Let me show you through to your room. I have a few ration bars you two can split. I found them in the bottom of our suitcase from New Years"  
"Dare I ask why you had ration bars stashed?"  
"I'm not one for the fancy food. In all honesty, I would have preferred going camping with Shiro to being stuck at home for that New Years party"  
Curtis hadn't let those feelings show at all... Keith's New Years had been all over the place, ending with him getting lost and being found by husband, then some rather fun fooling around in the bathroom as Lance missed his grazes better...  
"You guys should just come to Cuba and hang out with the family this year... Mami and Jorge would love to have you. We could make a thing of it... Even go camping on Lance's farm..."  
Shiro cleared his throat   
"I think Lance might have other things on his mind around then, but we'll definitely keep it in mind"

For a few ticks, Keith didn't get it, then it hit him like the Atlas to the face. His husband was going to be very pregnant then. His husband was going to have to face his family while very pregnant. With all the judgemental aunties... Would they even be able to go back to Earth for Christmas!?  
"Oh... I forgot about that... Maybe we can go glamping? Is that what they call that fancy camping that really isn't camping?"   
"You're really into this idea of camping aren't you?"  
Keith nodded, his gaze firmly on his sleeping husband. It would be their last Christmas as just the two of them... Plus his husband deserved to be spoilt   
"I just think it'll be fun..."  
Saving his mood, Curtis asked  
"Don't you constantly have to camp during your job?"  
"It's not the same though. Lance is fun to camp with. Everyone else... it gets repetitive. Krystaal isn't too bad. He spends most of his time doing goofy things and trying to make everyone laugh  
"Sorry, I don't know the name of your recruits"  
"Krystaal is the one who looks a lot like Lotor. Except he has a wicked sense of humour. He's also pretty good with a gun and with a sword... He also actually listens to instructions in the field, which is a huge plus when it comes to them. And he gets on with the rest of my team, which isn't exactly easy to do..."  
Focused on Lance, Keith misses the exchange between Curtis and Shiro. His voice filling with excitement and unexpected warmth over his new friend  
"It's great that you're having a good time with your recruits. It must be a relief for Krolia"  
"Yeah. I'm going to have a new baby sibling soon. Mum thinks Krystaal looks like the love child of Acxa and Lotor, though Acxa swears it's not true"  
"I don't know how Veronica would take that"  
"I'm not stupid enough to say that in front of her. You know she called Lance an idiot like a hundred times today for making her worry about him, and for not telling her he was sick. I feel like she should know how fragile he is about that stuff by now. I don't care if it's their thing. He's too emotionally compromised"

Keith didn't think anything of it again as Curtis showed them through to the room next to his and Shiro's. Laying Lance out on their bed, his husband didn't stir. With Curtis not knowing of the pregnancy, the time wasn't right to show Shiro the scans of the twins, so when Curtis went to fetch the ration bars, Keith promised to show him the following day, his smile plastered across his face over the twins all over again. Leaving them with half a dozen ration bars, Keith said goodnight to the pair and went about stripping Lance down and getting him under the covers before stripping down himself and opting to leave the ensuite light on in case Lance woke up needing to vomit during the night. Making sure the pill bottles were on the bedside table, next to the ration bars, Keith finally climbed into their bed where he looped Lance's arm around his waist and settled down to watch the ultrasound recording on repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can all freakin' fight me if you don't think our soft boy wouldn't cry


	11. Chapter 11

Waking up in the middle of the night, Lance was starving. Finding the ration bars next to the bed, he'd wolfed down five of them before realising how much he'd eaten, and deciding he needed the bathroom, and water. He couldn't remember ration bars ever tasting so damn good before. Returning and crawling into bed, he was asleep almost the moment his head hit the pillow, only to wake a few vargas later at sunrise gagging on the urge to vomit.

Falling asleep with his arm wrapped around the toilet, he was still there when Keith woke up. His husband waking him with the sound of the toilet flushing, and a soft "babe" right by his ear. Keith's excitement over the twins last night had been absolutely adorable. Waves of proud scent had drifted from him, making the discomfort from the speculum bearable as they stared up at the two tiny humans they'd formed together. Keith might not have known it, but it was exactly how he'd wanted his first scan to go... minus the initial examination. He knew his husband was angry at the doctor, but to Lance, the man was just doing his job and he could respect that, no matter how mixed up it made him feel.

Raised to his feet by Keith, his husband's eyes were filled with concern. Lance opening his mouth to reassure him, only to catch a whiff of his horrendous breath. Holding his hand over his mouth only served to deepen Keith's concern   
"I need to brush my teeth"  
"There a toothbrush for each of us on the counter. How are you feeling?"  
"Teeth first. Talk after"

Brushing away the furry feeling and triple scrubbing his tongue, Lance took a moment to stare at himself in the mirror as he rinsed his mouth. The bags beneath his eyes were still there, but he looked far more human than he had the day before. He felt more human too. The ration bars had stayed down for a few vargas meaning his stomach actually had something to throw up, and he'd finally drunk enough water for his pee to graduate from dark yellow to a less alarming yellow. Catching Keith staring, he smiled at his husband   
"That feels so much better. I think something was trying to set up a base camp on my teeth"  
Giving his mouth another quick rinse, Lance turned the taps off before moving to turn around and jump up onto the bathroom counter. Opening his arm, Keith shuffled forward for a cuddle, nuzzling into his neck with a sigh of happiness  
"You seem better this morning"  
"I am. Those ration bars tasted amazing"  
"I never thought I'd hear that"  
"I never thought I'd say that. Who gave them to us?"  
"Curtis. You said you wanted to sleep next to Shiro and Curtis in case you had a nightmare"  
"Was I sleep rambling again?"  
Bring one hand up, Lance stroked the back of Keith's hair as he kissed the top of his head  
"Yeah. Did you get much sleep?"  
"Like a log. I woke up, fed my face and passed out again until sunrise"  
"That's good"  
"I know. I'm pretty proud of myself this morning"  
"I got worried when you weren't in bed. You fell asleep hugging the toilet"  
"It's better than falling asleep in the toilet. Though I stink, and I'm covered in toilet germs... Do you want to take a shower with me?"  
Shifting and raising his head, Keith scrunched his brow  
"You're really happy, aren't you?"  
"I'm happy that I kept something down for the twins and those bars are like packed with good stuff... plus the scent didn't make me want to hurl... but what made me the happiest was that I was thinking about you at the scan yesterday"  
"Me?"  
"Yep. You were so excited... I guess it's relieving. You know?"  
Keith snorted, was his husband not as excited as he'd seemed, or was he not relieved? He still wasn't sure as Keith followed up  
"Not really... now, you said something about a shower?"  
Laughing at his husband. He tried to ignore the voice of anxiety in the back of his head reminding him this was simply a wave of happiness and he deserved to be miserable. He'd never lied when he said he wanted to be better for Keith's sake, and now he had time to be with his husband and work towards them fixing their marriage  
"Yeah..."  
Leaning in to kiss him, Lance let himself dissolve into his husband touch. His body craving his husband's attentions after having spent so long apart, and his headspace was finally stable enough to let him enjoy the touches for what they were. 

Deepening the kiss, Keith's hands went to his underwear as his own went to Keith's, a frantic need building between them they fought to get each other naked without breaking the kiss, Keith growling into the kiss and hefting him up off the counter the moment his underwear fell from around his ankles. Wrapping his long legs around his husband, he left himself be carried over to the shower, where Keith pinned him up against the wall, rutting and rubbing his dick teasingly up against Lance's slicking opening, trailing his hand up his outer thigh, Lance whimpered as Keith's fingers replaced the feeling of the blunt tip of his erection. His husband breaking the kiss but keeping his lips against his   
"I'm going to mess you up so badly, baby. Do you want it? Do you want me to?"  
"God, yes..."  
Kissing his way down to mouth at Lance's neck, Keith was careful as he pushed a finger in, starting to finger him slowly as his arse grew wet. Moaning and rolling his hips, his whole body felt like he was blushing as he ground down against Keith's hand  
"Fuck... Keith, I can take another one..."  
"No... going to make sure you're nice and prepared for my dick. Then I'm going to fuck this pretty little arse of yours until you scream my name"  
Shit... He'd forgotten how much of a filthy mouth his husband during sex. He loved it when Keith told him exactly what he wanted because he knew that if it grew too much he could ask him to stop. With how his dick was throbbing, he most definitely didn't want to Keith to stop...   
"Mmm. You know how much it turns me on when you talk like that..."  
"That's because you know I'm going to do what I said. You smell fucking incredible... I feel like I'm going to come just fingering your arse... shit... I want to eat you out, babe. I want you to ride my face and come across my stomach"  
Lance's body flushed with warmth, his head fuzzy as if he was in heat, the rising need to be filled was stripping his reason away. He needed his husband and none of this face riding quiznak  
"Tonight... right now I need you in me. Need you fucking me... need you coming in me... I want to feel it..."

Finally, he was rewarded as Keith pulled back and pushed two fingers into his already wet heat, his husband knew his body like the back of his hand, his fingertips going straight to his sweet spot and sending jolts of pleasure up his spine as Lance's nails scratched at Keith's back   
"Fuck... right there..."  
"I can feel it, babe. Feel how much you want it. My hands soaked with how wet you are. I bet you could take another finger, but I want to take my time"  
Lance shook his head  
"I want it..."  
Moving back up to his lips, Keith whispered   
"What's the magic word?"  
"Please... please, Keith... I want it... I can feel how wet I am... I want to come on your fingers before you fuck me"  
"I fucking love you"

Continuing to rub his sweet spot, Lance mewed as the pleasure built. Sensing he was close, Keith pulled back again to push three fingers in like he'd begged for. Crying out, his husband's free hand slipped between them, jerking him off as he fucked him with his finger rather than toying with his prostate. Crying out in pleasure his orgasm rushed to hit, as he came between their stomach, his inner thighs twitching like crazy as Keith milked his dick dry before raising his hand and licking his cum from his fingers   
"You're so fucking hot when you come..."  
Licking his lips, Lance didn't have a reply for that one. Keith was still fingering his arse, his body starting to feel slightly over-sensitive, but instead of finding it uncomfortable, the itch of horniness beneath his skin was demanding more  
"I'm going to fuck you now... I'm going to cover your skin with my scent so everyone knows you're mine"  
"Mmm... I'm yours, babe..."

Taking him by the arse, the moan Lance let out as Keith slowly buried himself balls deep seemed to echo around the bathroom. Looping his arms over his husband's shoulders, he let Keith move his hips for him as his husband went about thoroughly drilling him. Mouthing at Keith's neck, he wanted to be just as possessive of Keith. He wanted everyone to know that Keith was his. And he wanted to hurt anyone who dared tried to flirt with the father of his children. Sucking a deep hickey above the neckline of most of his husband's shirts, Keith growled, holding his hips down and fucking him so hard that his mind went blank as he drooled with pleasure. To have this with Keith... it was like a drug. His body was desperate for pleasure at the hands of his loving husband. Gripping him desperately, Keith pulled him down the wall and spread his legs wider, both of them moaning over the change of angle as Keith's dick started swelling  
"Shit, babe... you're so fucking tight for me... I'm going to come inside you..."  
"Do it... gonna carry you around inside me all day..."  
"Fuck... I should have brought a plug. We could slip off and fuck anytime you want. Make you round with come and my children..."  
"I'm already pregnant... don't want to be full with a litter... but wouldn't mind if they were yours... fuck... fuck... Keith, I'm coming!"  
Digging his fingertips into his spread legs, Keith cried his name as he buried himself as deep as he could, holding Lance down against him like he was trying to get him pregnant all over again. Riding out the waves of his orgasms, more and more cum dribbled from his dick with each of Keith's thrusts, Lance falling against his husband and letting his strong arms move back down to his arse to support him.

As usual, the moment Keith's breathing started to pass from pants his husband started nuzzling into his face, peppering his lips with kisses as he rested their sweaty foreheads together   
"Babe, you ok?"  
Humming, Lance nodded  
"Yeah... yeah... fuck... that was hot"  
"I didn't hurt you?"  
The throbbing in his arse was the good kind of throbbing, almost like he could feel his heartbeat there   
"No... no. Feels good... I feel so full"  
"Your tummy seems bigger today..."  
Lance let out something that wasn't a giggle, a snort or a laugh, but kind of all three  
"Don't tell me that. I'm going to have to wear all your clothes when I start getting bigger"  
"You already do"  
"This is true"  
Pressing a kiss to Keith's lips, Lance suddenly felt choked up with emotion. A sniffle coming from nowhere   
"Babe? What is it?"  
"I just... I really fucking love you"  
"Aw, babe. Hey... I'm not going anywhere. You don't need to cry"  
"I know you're not... and I feel shitty for chaining you down and so fucking happy that we get to be together again"  
"You're not chaining me down. You're holding me up. You've always been my greatest supporter"  
"I think in this situation you're literally holding me up... I've been such a moody and miserable arsehole... but... it's like when you're here everything is so much better. I love you so much, Keith. You're... my best friend and the best husband I could ask for, and the best dad for my twins and I love you so much"  
"I love you too, Lance. More than words. I might mess up, but I don't want you to ever leave my side... and I'm going to try really hard for the sake of our family. Seeing the twins... I've never felt anything like it... I don't know how to be a good dad, but you're going to teach me"  
"We're going to have to teach each other... we're two halves of the same idiot"  
Keith snorted, nuzzling his face affectionately  
"I think that's our official names now"  
"So do I... but seriously, thank you for being there yesterday. I nearly lost it when he started examining me. And his name... my brain kept trying to rearrange letters from "Ceelra" then to "Cleera"... then... him..."  
"I wanted to punch him"  
"I know... I think I want to have my scans on Erathus. They're not as advanced as Altea, but they're also... more casual about things there... but I still want to get copies of our ultrasound"  
"I do too. I'll see about getting a chip today"  
"Thanks... mmm... you know we actually have to turn the shower on if we want to do the whole getting clean thing"  
Keith groaned at him  
"But I just did the fuck my husband into oblivion thing"  
Laughing, Lance stole a quick kiss  
"I'll wash your hair for you. It's gotten even longer"  
"I want to get it cut, but I keep forgetting"  
"I'll go with you. I need my hair tidied up anyway"  
His hair was a shaggy mess that was still slightly uneven from behind shaved  
"Alright. We'll find somewhere today"  
"Gotta look good for our date tomorrow?"  
Lance hoped his hopefulness wasn't too forward. They'd only had one real date and he was beyond excited to be publicly appearing on Keith's arm  
"You already look good. You could wear a sack and you'd still look good"  
"This true, but I have the feeling I'd be cold..."  
"And that you'd be showing too much skin. I don't want to share you with anyone"  
Laughing, Lance nuzzled into Keith's face   
"You won't. Ever... You're it for me, Samurai"  
"Good. Let's keep it that way..."  
Smiling up at him, Keith was beautiful when he smiled. Despite having been together for so long now, the sight never failed to make Lance's heart skip a beat.

*  
Clutching Keith as he piggybacked him out the bathroom, Lance was ready for bed again. Keith couldn't keep his hands off him, his third orgasm leaving him drained in all the right ways. Keith had gotten carried away cleaning him down. The kisses between his thighs as Keith ran his soapy hands across his skin leading to an unexpected blow job. Laughing at something stupid Keith said, he stopped when he noticed clothes laying on their bed. His anxiety skyrocketing over the fact someone had been in their room while they showered  
"It's alright. I'm here"  
Hugging Keith tighter, he felt like his privacy had been invaded as his husband moved to their bed, lowering him down before picking up the note on top of the clothes   
"It was Shiro. He heard we were busy and didn't want to disturb us. He thought we could use a change of clothes because we didn't get to unpack last night"

Letting out a sigh of relief, Lance flopped back on their bed  
"Fucking dick. He gave me a heart attack"  
Dropping the note down, Keith climbed up to straddle him, his hands going to the swell of his belly as he leaned down and kissed his bump  
"If it wasn't Shiro, I would have lost my shit. I won't let anyone hurt you or our babies"  
"Babe, you know I'm going to be helping you train your recruits. The idea of me coming with you, was to stay with you"  
Kissing his bump again, Keith then climbed up to lay himself down beside him  
"Lance..."  
"I know you think it's a bad idea, but my suit will protect my body"  
"It won't protect you from impacts. I don't want anything to..."  
"Shhh. Look. I've been thinking about it, and what I can do to help. You suck at team bonding, right? Well, I can help. And I can help with their blaster skills. Neither are hands-on..."  
"But something could go wrong..."  
"Or, and just hear me out, something could go right. You know I can't stand sitting around. And you know I'm... nervous about Daibazaal, but I'm still coming with you because I want this marriage to work. Kosmo can come. He can stay by my side. I'll only do hand to hand training with you... I won't push it because I'm planning on being more teachy than handsy... I'll wear my suit..."  
"Babe. My team are all part Galra..."  
"And Daibazaal is the Galra homeworld..."  
Sighing at him, Keith's fingers softly caressed his belly. It was hard to keep a straight face when his husband was tickling him   
"You're sure you want to do that? Come with me? We don't know where we're going half the time until we get there. Mum does what she wants"  
"That only adds to the fun... Look, I'm trying to find a way to make our marriage work. We can try it, and if it doesn't work out, we'll figure something else out"

Keith was the only one who could bring him out of his panic attacks, and with the sensitivity of Galra noses, he didn't think his secret would be kept for very long within the walls of the palace. Then there was also the fact that how would living on Daibazaal without his husband, be any different to living on the outpost without Keith there? Other than the fact his support network would drop to pretty much being just Krolia. They were going to be fathers. They needed to get their shit together as soon as possible.

"You have to be careful. If I tell you something's too dangerous, I want you to listen to me"  
Lance pouted. He knew how happy Keith was to be becoming a father. He wasn't going to jeopardise that  
"I'm not looking for trouble"  
"No, but it has a habit of finding you"  
"Then you'll have to live up to your promises and protect me"  
"You know I'm going to do everything I can..."  
"I know... we better get dressed, Shiro is probably covering for us as it is"  
"If he isn't, Coran will"  
"I don't want to think about Coran trying to cover for us having sex in the shower. I don't know what's worse, him or Shiro hearing us"  
Keith pulled a face   
"Has to be Coran. Can you imagine him trying to explain it without saying it out loud... I'm having mental images of him making the motion with his hands"  
Shoving at Keith, Lance sat up a little too fast, covering it by waving his hand like he was dismissing Keith   
"That's gross. Stay away from me..."  
"I'm just saying..."  
"Well don't"  
He was going to struggle to keep a straight face in front of Shiro as it was.

Wearing the clothes Shiro had leant them, the pants were way too big for his slim hips. Lance didn't even need to put them on to know they weren't going to fit, leaving him changing shirts and wearing the pants he'd worn the following day. Unlike him, Keith looked somewhat presentable. Shiro's shirt was a little big, but he wasn't swimming in it... and when Keith realised he didn't have a change of underwear, he opted to go commando like Lance was in his previous day's pants, because going commando in Shiro's pants was just creepy... letting Keith call Shiro, Lance noticed the envelope of scan prints near the remnants of his midnight feast, claiming the last ration bar for himself seeing they were going to breakfast anyway, picking up the prints to check through them again.

Crossing his stretched legs and lounging back against the wall, Lance had barely opened both the ration bar and the envelope before Shiro was letting themselves into their room, seeing what Lance had in his hold his brother-in-law made grabby fingers towards the envelope  
"Those better be what I think they are?"  
Playing dumb, Lance held up the ration bar  
"It's the last one left. Keith woke up and ate the rest in the middle of the night"  
"Keith! They were for both of you!"  
Snickering as Shiro scolded Keith, Keith accepted that he wasn't going to get a "hello" from his brother. Closing the door, he stalked over to their bed and threw himself down near his feet   
"Don't listen to him, Shiro. He woke up in the middle of the night and ate the rest of them"  
"You didn't see me do it. With no evidence, it never happened"  
"You already confessed to me"  
"Dammit. You caught me. These are better than I thought they'd be... I managed to keep them down for a vargas too... but I get the feeling your more interested in what's in the scans"  
Shiro laughed, moving to sit himself down between Lance's legs and the edge of the bed  
"What gave it away?"  
"The fact you went straight for the envelope and ignored Keith trying to say good morning to you"  
"Sorry, Keith. Good morning. Good morning, Lance. How are you feeling?"

Telling Shiro he could still feel his heart in his arse, probably wasn't what Shiro meant. Catching sight of the hickey on Shiro's neck, it seemed like he and Keith weren't the only ones having fun. If he said he was tired, he'd only be made to stay in bed, so option 3 seemed the way to go  
"Hungry. These bars are really good..."  
"You don't need to polite. Curtis found them in our case"  
Lance still wasn't going to complain. He'd eaten worse and dodgier. His twins needed food, and if it took eating a hundred of these ration bars, he'd do it for them   
"I'm not. I think it's because they don't have much of a scent or a strong taste is making it easier to process. I'm screwed if Hunk tries to serve us something fried"  
"I'm not sure what the menu is. We agreed on a late breakfast at 9, under Allura's statue. Coran's already roped your team's recruits into helping with final security checks. Krolia told him to put them to work. The Acxa, Veronica, Zethrid, and Ezor will be joining us"  
"And Curtis?"  
Lance didn't want for Curtis to be discluded already  
"He's got some work to do, but he'll be joining us for lunch"  
Pulling a face, he sighed. He planned to be napping right about then  
"Lance?"  
"I don't think I'm doing lunch. I haven't even done anything today and I'm sleepy as quiznak"  
"I think you were doing Keith..."  
Leaning over, Keith punched Shiro in the arm  
"Like you weren't screwing Curtis. Yeah, we see that hickey. Stop picking on my husband"  
"La la la la la. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want you thinking about us, and I don't want to think about Shiro doing that. Keep it up and I'll keep these scan prints for myself"  
In perfect synchronisation, Shiro and Keith both replied   
"I'll be good"  
Then pulled faces at each other when they realised what had happened. 

Everyone said he and Keith were two halves of the same idiot, yet there were times between Keith and Shiro that were just as bad. Finishing the end of the ration bar, Lance placed the empty packet on the bedside table, wiped his fingers, then pulled out the first print of the 3 in there. Smiling at the memories the new scan photo brought, he stared down at his tiny twins. It was still incredible to imagine that one itty bitty egg and one itty bitty sperm could make two itty bitty babies. He wasn't exactly sure how conceiving twins worked and made a mental note to look up why they were in two separate sacs when they were both growing inside of him. Handing the photo over to Shiro, Shiro let out a low whistle   
"You can definitely see the difference when compared to the other scan"  
"Let me see"  
Pushing himself up, Keith moved to kneel behind Shiro   
"Look at them. Lance, do we have any of their hands?"  
The second print was two one piece of photo paper of their forming faces   
"Will you take noses? You're just as obsessed with their noses. Look at one the right, I swear they're taking after you already"  
Realistically he knew it was impossible for their twins to be scowling, but the right twin didn't seem to get the message. Or at least to him they hadn't. Passing the print over, Keith nearly knocked it out of Shiro's hands in his haste to point out their noses   
"Look how tiny they are. You can see where their eyes are, and their lips... and their noses..."  
"Was he like this last night?"  
"He was worse, but it was really sweet. He had a bonding moment that we both remember"  
Huffing, Keith flipped him off  
"I've remembered all our bonding moments"  
"Mhmm. Here, you can see their hands in this one, and it's got my due date printed on the bottom"

Passing the third photo over, Shiro's smile only grew  
"Look at that. You can see their hands, or what will be their hands..."  
"What do you mean "what will be"? Those are very clearly tiny little hands"  
"They're still forming is what I meant. So January 29th is the big day?"  
"Mhmm. I know people carrying twins tend to go into labour early... and that's provided I don't miscarry... Keith couldn't help but get his hopes up while I'm trying to be more realistic about it..."  
"Our twins are going to be fine"  
"I'm only saying that..."  
"Babe. Our twins are going to be fine and you're going to be fine"  
"What I'm trying to say is that they don't know how this pregnancy will be progress. It could be like any other pregnancy or there might be complications because I'm pretty much male"  
Handing the three prints back to him, Keith took them from him pretty much the moment they met his hand   
"Our babies are perfect"  
Rolling his eyes at his husband, Shiro seemed sympathetic   
"There's a lot to talk about and consider. Have you thought about what you're going to tell your family?"  
And there went his mood. Anxiety fast filling his gut as he bit at his lip. He knew he had to tell them. He could just show up home for Christmas heavily pregnant and expect his mami not to be upset   
"We were thinking of waiting until 12 weeks... or at least until 10... though if Lance is living with me for the next phoeb we should pass that 12 weeks mark anyway"

Drawing his knees to his chest, Lance rested his chin in the valley as he hugged his legs   
"I don't know what to tell them. Or when. There's a lot I feel like I'm going to have to tell them if I tell I'm pregnant... Mami... I don't think I could ruin things with moods again. She was worried enough last Christmas, and I'm pretty sure the only thing that kept her sane was the fact Keith was there with me to keep me out of trouble. She knows I had a problem with drinking and painkillers on Earth, but she doesn't know I spent two years being a space junky too... I just... I don't want to disappoint her again... then there's Rachel and Veronica... V's going to be mad I didn't tell her my body turned into this... thing. I don't know how to tell Krolia... she's so kind to me, but I still feel like I'm... not good enough to be part of her family. She's so strong and beautiful, plus she's having her own baby soon. She's probably already counting to have Keith's help, given his husband isn't supposed to be able to fall pregnant. Coran knows. And I'm so fucking grateful to him, but I don't know how to tell him this. He'll worry... and I'm so over people worrying... And Dae... I left without telling her... and now I want to tell her in person because she was there... the first time around when I miscarried... she's always been there... her and Lucteal. I just want to live on the outpost, but my pregnancy will end up being so short in movements out here... as it is, even if I'm gone for 4 movements, that's 6 there... I know the outpost is a work in progress, but I love it... I love my customers... I don't even mind chasing out the troublemakers with my blaster... I'm not going to have Zak in my ear over something techy he's done... and now I sound miserable, but I want to make this marriage work so fucking badly... so, no. I have no idea how to tell anyone"  
Wiping at his eyes, Lance shyly looked up to Shiro and Keith. Both men looking worried   
"I'm sorry. I said too much... my head gets... you know"  
"Babe..."  
Keith sounded sad. He didn't want Keith to be sad  
"It's alright. It's a lot though. I'm trying to be happy... these are our children that I'm not even supposed to be able to have. I've already decided I want to work on our marriage first..."  
"Lance, you know Curtis and I will help you out as much as we can"  
"I know Shiro. I'm so grateful. I might go wash my face... Why don't you have Keith show you the video from the scan? He hates the doctor, but Meria was there. The nurse who did the scan last time, or rather one of them... she was the one who said we could get proper copies"  
"Sounds good. We need to head to breakfast as it is. It's about half 8 already"  
"Quiznak..."

He didn't want to be late, and he didn't want to feel Shiro and Keith's eyes on him. He'd said too much, letting his anxieties get the better of him... but he couldn't help their being so much on his mind. Climbing carefully off the bed, he nearly crumbled on the spot when he knocked down one of the bottles of pills he was supposed to start taking. No one seemed to get it. He'd rather push through everything than risk falling back into drugs. Especially with the twins... Ceelra might have said they were safe, but what if they weren't? What if those pills caused complications or a miscarriage...? What if... what if he forgot taking them and ended up taking too much? Or ended up having to go through withdrawal again because of them? He simply didn't feel mentally stable enough to trust himself right now... so why was it wrong for him to want to work things out in his head a little more before making his decision?

*  
Nipping at Lance's neck, Keith had his arms wrapped around his husband as they walked up to the table where the others were already waiting for them. Lance had swatted his hands off his stomach a dozen times as they walked, Keith now awkwardly walking with his chin resting on Lance's shoulder and both hands captured firmly in his husband's.

Unlike the previous night, various stalls, stages, vendors and rides were in different stages of construction. Technically the festival started tomorrow, but tonight would be a practice run in perpetuation for the week-long festival. Lance kept stopping every few steps to look at something or other, meaning their walk was even longer than it should have been, and he'd bumped up against his husband's arse so many times that he was tempted to take Lance back to bed and finish what they'd started in the shower.

"Isn't it too early in the morning for you two be being gross?"  
Grumbling at the pair of them, Pidge looked as if she didn't get much sleep the previous night at all  
"Nope"  
Popping the "p" in his reply, Lance tugged him along to the three vacant seats together. Letting his husband choose to sit in the middle, Keith sat down next Acxa, while Shiro sat between Lance and Shay   
"Has no one given the gremlin her coffee this morning? She looks cranky. Hey, Shay, it's nice to see you again. How've you been?"

Keith wasn't jealous... not at all as Lance turned his attentions away from him. Moving his hand to rest on his husband's thigh, he knew from Lance's scent that he hadn't quite come back from Shiro's question earlier. Just like when it'd been only then who knew they were married, things seemed a whole lot simpler before everyone else added their opinions into the mix.

"I'm great, Lance. It seems you're feeling better, Hunk was worried over how ill you were"  
"You know what they say, you can't keep a good man down. I'm feeling loads better, now. I thought Shiro said you were helping Hunk with breakfast?"  
"I was, but he insisted I join you all instead"  
"I'm glad he did. It's been phoooooebs since we saw you"  
Keith wouldn't have believed if someone had said that Hunk and Shay would marry one day from their first meeting... Then again, he and Lance... He probably would have stabbed anyone who'd said they marry  
"Yes. I heard you run your own outpost now? With Keith?"  
"Yeah. It's not bad. There are still some things that need ironing out, but I like it. I'm going to spend the next phoeb living with Keith, so now I have to adjust back to normal time... How are the wedding plans?"  
Shay blushed, Keith, inching his chair closer to Lance's   
"Hunk said he wants to talk to all of you together..."  
"That's fine! I'll just wait until the big man shows up"  
Shay was clearly excited... It took her all of half a tick to shake her head, as she replied  
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we talked a little"  
"Oh, good. Because honestly, I don't know how long I can wait for the details. You must be so excited"  
"I am... and so nervous. Were you nervous when you married Keith?"

Looking to him, Lance's eyes seemed to twinkle as they snorted when they made eye contact   
"We were both slightly drunk, and had no idea we were in the middle of getting married... I think we took the easy way out"  
"Definitely. Keith would have been crying his eyes out... then he probably would have forgotten the words and got mad..."  
"Oh come on, I'm not that bad..."  
"Uh, babe, you really are. No. I'm happy we had Annla there. It was figuring out what came next that was the hard bit. Plus with our jobs... Keith's always busy, or I'm busy. That's why I'm taking some time off to be with my husband"  
"Shiro, back me up. I'm not that bad, am I?"  
Glancing back at the table, he found everyone wearing pretty much the same agreeing looks. Keith huffing at the lot of them  
"You guys all suck. Shiro, you're supposed to be my brother. And Acxa, you're basically my sister... Where's the family support?"  
"That's what you have Lance for"  
Acxa's soft reply sent Lance into a fit of laughter  
"He's the one who started it"  
"You're the one who married him. I notice you haven't asked my Veronica for your support"

Covering his mouth, Lance tried to bring his laughter under control   
"That's because she's supposed to take my side"  
"What was that, baby brother? I'm supposed to take your side? I don't think so. You were sick for movements, called Shiro out to help you, and now you're moving in with Keith suddenly. Plus, you were seen at the hospital last night. What do you have to say to that?"

Having missed the conversation leading up to the moment, Hunk and Coran were both smiling as they arrived with breakfast. Climbing to his feet, Keith was afraid Lance was going to bolt for a moment, only for his husband to move to hug Coran, who was already getting weepy before Lance's arms wrapped around him  
"Lance, my boy! I've missed you!"  
"I've missed you too! I'm sorry I didn't make dinner last night. I literally fell asleep before we even got back to our room"  
"No need to fuss. As long as you're alright"  
"I am. I'm doing better. I can't believe it's been like 6 phoebs since I saw you"  
"Ahhh, but not to the rest of us. It's been..."  
"Four... I think. It was on Erathus?"  
"That's right my boy. I still wish you'd let me stay longer"  
"Well, I had the outpost to think of. If you're ever out of on Erathus, I'll have Th'al set you up with the best room in the hotel"

Leaning back, Shiro whispered to him  
"I thought he was about to run"  
"So did I. I'm glad Lance is close with Coran again. I want sure how he was going to react given its Allura Day tomorrow"  
"They turned up at just the right time"  
"Yeah..."

"Can I get in on the hugs?"  
Reaching out, Lance and Coran both drew Hunk into the hug  
"Hunk, I thought you'd be sick of me already"  
"Nah, Buddy. I missed you"  
Releasing them from the hug, Hunk put on his "professional" face  
"You two better sit so I can serve breakfast"  
"Understood. Hey, Coran let's catch up this afternoon? Keith wants to get his hair cut, and mines finally at a good length to figure out what to do with it"  
"I know just the woman for the job"  
"I knew you would. Coran, Coran, the fancy man"  
Twirling his moustache, Coran struck a pose that had all of them groaning at him. Moving back to his seat, Lance pushed Shiro out the way before sitting down between them. His scent was a little sour as it reached Keith's nose. Wrapping his arms around Lance, Keith nuzzled his neck behind his nose   
"Babe, you ok?"  
"Caught a sniff of coffee. My stomach said a big fat no thanks... I don't think Coran noticed though"  
"No. I think you made his morning though"  
"That's good... I really want to hurry up and go back to bed... if I start falling asleep, will you prod me?"  
"On it"

As breakfast was served and everything started to fall into place as they ate. Lance went ghostly white as Hunk carried around a pot of coffee, discretely covering his nose with his left hand, and death gripping Keith's hand with his right. Declining coffee, Hunk raised an eyebrow as he, Shiro and Lance all said no. Lance's hold on his hand lessened minutely between coffee and a plate of waffles appearing before them, Lance quick to swap his strawberry loaded plate with Keith's caramelised banana topped waffles. If anyone noticed, it went unsaid as they started eating. A handful of doboshes passing before Pidge put Shay out of her misery  
"So, Shay. You promised wedding details when Hunk came. I think we've tormented Lance long enough. He seems ready to burst from not asking"  
"I was. I mean, I am! Buddy, spill!"  
Slinging his arm over his fiancé's shoulder, Hunk brimmed with pride   
"You go ahead and tell them"  
"Are you sure?"  
Hunk nodded at Shay, Shay giving a nod back as something silently passed between them. Shay excitedly exclaiming   
"We're getting married in Hawaii!"  
Hunk following up with   
"On February the first! We've booked the hotel and venue"  
"Our colours are going to be yellow and white... because Hunk was the yellow Paladin..."  
"And we were thinking we want all of you to be part of the wedding..."

Gushing with excitement, Keith smiled broadly at his two friends. His head hadn't put the dates together, but Lance had. Keith copping Lance's distressed scent so thickly he gagged. Looking their way, Shiro wore a look of confused offence. His voice full of concern as he whispered   
"Lance?"  
"I can't... I can't breathe..."  
Quiznak. Coran was questioning Hunk and Shay, so the attention wasn't on them   
"Babe?"  
"February first... that's two days after... I can't... I can't go... I'm... gonna be sick..."  
Covering both hands with his mouth, Lance's panic only continued to grow. His husband was right. He was due way too close to the wedding day... The wedding that was already booked and organised... The wedding of the man who used to be Lance's best friend. If ever there was an event that shouldn't be missed, it was definitely Hunk's wedding   
"Babe... try breathing through your nose..."  
"Lance, do you think you can move?"  
Their words overlapped, Lance, shaking his head as he continued to pale. Tears forming in his eyes. Stripping off his jacket, Keith didn't know what Shiro was planning as he laid it across his legs, until he'd guided Lance's face down and Lance was heaving his guts up into the jacket. Climbing out his chair and moving to crouch as he rubbed his husband's back, he could feel the tremors wracking the Cuban's body. Shiro stroking his hair as he Lance tried to sob out apologies between hard heaves. Out of all the times for his nausea to hit, it had to be at breakfast with their friends.

Around the table their friends had fallen quiet, Coran the first to come to their side as he crouched down next to Keith   
"Lance, my dear boy. It's alright... just let it out"  
Whimpering miserably, Keith wasn't sure Lance had much to let out. There was the ration bar and a bit of banana that Lance had carefully scraped off the waffles... and some water. That was about it... He also knew his husband was miserable due to the seizure that had ruined their last planned meal together as a group  
"I... I'm so sorry..."  
"Hush, my boy. None of that. It's already heating up to be a warm day. I must admit even I feel a bit stuffy in these clothes"

Keith's heart swelled with love Coran right then. Rather than bringing up the fact Lance was sick, he was giving him a perfectly reasonable reason for feeling ill under the bite of the morning sun. Now that Coran had mentioned it, Keith realised he was sweaty and arms did feel slightly burnt  
"I'm sorry... Shiro"  
"It's alright. I wasn't all that fond of this jacket. Curtis's mother gifted it to me when I was dating Adam... It was at the end of its days anyway"

"What the quiznak is going on with my brother?!"

Flinching hard enough to nearly fall off his seat, Keith wrapped his arm around his husband and pulled him up  
"Not now, Veronica"  
Scolding Veronica, Shiro dropped the ruined jacket from his lap  
"What do you mean "not now"? First has a seizure, now he's throwing up, and refuses to tell any of us about it! It's like he doesn't care how worried we are about it!"  
Nervously Coran stuttered out  
"Ah. Yes, perhaps now is not the time, young Veronica..."  
Sniping back, Veronica didn't back down  
"We're talking about this now. Before he has a chance to run away again"  
"Veronica, shut up!"

Standing up unsteadily, Lance wiped his mouth  
"Not until you tell us all what has been going on with you! We're you're friends and family Lance! We care about you! You keep alienating yourself from us! We're all worried!"  
"No one asked you to be! I'm fine!"  
"You collapsed! You had a seizure!"  
"It's not a big deal!"  
"Newsflash, baby bro! Seizures are a big deal! Do you know how scared everyone was?!"  
"You weren't even there!"  
Swaying, Keith steadied his husband  
"I think that's enough for now"  
Trying to stop the situation escalating, Keith was ignored by the bickering siblings   
"I know this isn't the first time!"  
"No, it's not! What do you want me to fucking say, Veronica!? I have permanent fucking brain damage from being fucking tortured?! Fine! I do! I fucking seizures because of it! So no, it's not a fucking big deal because we're dealing with it! It's definitely not a big enough deal to ruin the conversation over Hunk and Shay's wedding! God. You're a bitch. Yeah, I felt shit but maybe I didn't want to do anything about it because I'm happy for them and wanted to hear their plans! So fucking thank you! Thank you for ruining breakfast!"  
Screaming at his sister by the end of it, Lance pushed Keith away from him  
"Babe?"  
"I'm fine. I'm going back to our room to sleep. I'm sorry... Hunk and Shay, I really do want to hear more about your wedding. It sounds amazing already... and breakfast was good too..."  
Mumbling off his sentence Lance turned on his heels and started back across the grass that led towards the palace.

Turning back towards their friends, Keith was ready to let his own anger lose on them until he saw Veronica was crying in the arms of her girlfriend. His anger still there, but his words stalled in his throat. Being the dad of the group, Shiro handled things much better than he did  
"I know you're all worried about him. Lance did have a check-up at the hospital last night and was given a clean bill of health. Coran's right about the heat, as nice as this was, it is getting rather hot here without shade cover. Lance really was looking forward to breakfast with everyone. And as for his seizures, there is a management plan in place. With the stress from being ill, and still recovering that is most likely why he had a seizure the other night. He didn't want you all to worry when nothing can be done about it other than managing his stress levels and watching his health. Which is what Keith has been doing, as well as Daehra. He doesn't want to be treated any differently. He's still the same man we served with in Voltron. I think we should all step back and take a breath. Keith, why don't you go check on him. Veronica... I'm disappointed in you... but it looks to me that adding to the guilt you feel right now isn't going to help anyone. Coran, do you have somewhere I can throw this jacket out?"  
Coran blinked, clearly not expecting to be part of Shiro's diplomatic rant   
"Yes, I'll be happy to show you were before you clean up"  
"Thank you. Hunk, Lance was right. The waffles were delicious. I'll catch up with you all at lunch"

Falling into step with Coran and Shiro, Lance had disappeared from view by the time they started to follow... Coran was wringing his hands, yet minding his manners by not pushing the matter. Keith felt like he should say something more. About Lance and about the pregnancy, but still didn't trust those angry words not to become unclogged. He wasn't angry at Coran, so didn't want to lose his temper at him, and while it was true that Lance had snapped, he was also proud of his husband. It wasn't Lance's fault that Veronica had pushed him. Keith had hoped that the topic would be dropped. What he was proud of was that Lance had tried to make an effort with Hunk and Shay. He knew he was panicking, but still wanted to ensure Hunk and Shay were happy. Because that was the conversation they'd been having before Veronica interrupted. Yes, Lance had been running from talking to her, but he had a lot on his mind... Still, Lance could have stormed off after yelling. Instead, he'd composed himself enough to apologise and thank the pair for breakfast.

Reaching their rooms, Shiro had disposed of the jacket somewhere along the way. Keith too in his head to notice. Standing in front of their door, Keith knocked, giving Lance the option of answering or not. A few ticks passed without Lance answering  
"Keith, why don't you go ahead and check on him. We'll wait out here"  
"Sorry... Thanks... and thanks, Shiro. I had no idea what to do when he said he was going to be sick"  
"I didn't either... It was the first thing that came to mind"  
"I'm sure Lance appreciated it..."  
"Go check on him already. We can wait"  
"I'll be right back"

Laying on their bed, Lance had his legs up on their pillows, with his dirty shirt we down and lying over his face   
"Babe?"  
"I'm ok..."  
Walking over to him, Keith sat on the edge of their bed, peeling the shirt back  
"There you are"  
"Sorry for breakfast"  
Lance's eyes were red, but he wasn't crying like Keith expected him to be  
"Nah. It's fine. I'm amazed you lasted through those smells as long as you did"  
"Dios... it was awful. Soooo many smells"  
Leaning in to kiss Lance's forehead, his husband felt too hot  
"I know it the scents and the panic, but I think you overheated. You're warm"  
"My face was red when I got back. I'm going to take a nap... How mad was everyone?"  
"Not mad. Veronica was crying her eyes out. Coran and Shiro are waiting outside"  
"I feel shitty for ruining his jacket. Do you think it was salvageable?"  
"He binned it. Honestly, I don't ever remember him wearing it since before Keroberus"   
"Would he be mad if I replaced it?"  
"I don't think he'd mind. Do you want to see them?"  
"No... I want to nap. And pretend our friends aren't going to be judging us"  
"You're worrying over Hunk aren't you?"  
"Aren't you? It's two days, Keith..."  
"We'll figure it out"  
"How? I can't change my due date... and you heard how excited they are..."  
Lance rolled away from him, Keith sighing softly as he placed his hand on his husband's hip  
"Babe. We can always stay at the outpost. Even if they come early... or even if we stay there for a few weeks? Speed it up a little? We have options... Let me tell Shiro and Coran we're going to take a nap"  
"You don't have to stay"  
"I don't have to, but I want to"  
"What about everyone else? I kind of walked off"  
"Shiro asked them to respect you, your privacy and your choices. He told them that everything was alright last night and that we have a plan for your seizures... They'll understand"  
"They shouldn't have to. It's my business..."  
"I know. But maybe this means they won't be pushing so often to know?"  
"I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to... have a good morning"  
"I know, babe. This morning isn't on you..."  
"Still..."  
"Nope. I'm going to tell the others you're resting... I'll be right back"  
"I'm not going anywhere, mullet"

Letting himself back out their room, Keith nodded at the anxious pair waiting   
"He's taking a nap. He'd already got a cold cloth over his face.  
I think we're going to try sleep through until lunch, though I don't know how he's going to go about hanging out with everyone at once. His anxiety hasn't exactly been great"  
"Maybe a small dinner would be better? Just you former Paladins and Shay?"  
Even then that would be pushing it...  
"And Curtis. My team... feel free to boss them around as much as you like. I know Lance has missed you"  
"I've missed him too. He's not been having the best time out there. I'm happy he's moving off that planet for the time"  
Keith wrinkled his brow  
"Lance told you?"  
"We talk. He didn't tell you?"  
"No. Then again, I haven't exactly been the best husband"  
"He still loves you fiercely number 4. Let him know this morning is not his fault?"  
"Thanks, Coran. What are you going to do?"  
"I'll be fine. I'll change and meet up with Curtis. That was my plan anyway. I have my comms if you need anything"  
Keith thought for a moment   
"Oh! Can you grab our things off my ship? Lance's blue suitcase is in my room, it's got clothes for both of us in it. He's probably already asleep by now..."  
"Sure. Don't worry if you can't make lunch, though. Let him sleep, and I'll drop everything off later"  
Keith nodded gratefully. He and Lance had amazing friends... it was just the family side that chaotic   
"I better get back to him. Thanks for the help this morning"  
"You're very welcome, my boy. I just hope he'll be feeling better tomorrow. I'm hoping he'll enjoy himself at the festival. I never pictured it being something this large! But, it's all in Allura's honour. As long as her brave sacrifice is never forgotten... That's good enough for me"  
"That and I believe you have a Yelmor competition to win"  
Coran tried and failed at keeping his mental scheming hidden, twirling his moustache around his finger as he looked up to Shiro  
"The same could be said about a certain arm wrestling competition"  
Laughing, Shiro scratched the back his head  
"I can't deny that... I may have made a promise to Curtis to defend my title"  
Keith didn't want to know the details of that promise. His brother's sex life was creepy... or rather, it was far too disturbing to go back near that topic ever again  
"That's enough. Besides, Lance is going to slay in all the shooting games"  
"And what are you going to contribute. Are you going to go around annoying everyone by asking if they've seen anyone suspicious?"  
"Haha. You're not funny, old man. I'm going back to my husband. You two can plan your own domination for tomorrow's competition. I have a date to figure out"  
"Ooooooh. Keith's got a date"  
Rolling his eyes at his brother, Keith hit the door button  
"Goodbye, Shiro. I'll see you later, Coran"


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? The sound of an update? I don't think it's a stellar update, buuuut next chapter is happiness

Complaining it was too "uncomfortable" and "sticky" to cuddle, it didn't stop Keith from waking to find Lance curled up around him. Their suitcase had magically appeared in their room, as had a box of ration bars, Keith was grateful to his brother as enjoyed being trapped in Lance's solid hold. He'd missed Lance's cuddles. His husband might call him a "cuddly octopus", but that definitely went both ways. Almost all off Lance's cuddles now exclusively belonged to him... His husband always had the best cuddles. A Lance cuddle could completely change his mood as if his hold sucked out all the shittiness of the day. His husband the softest and best man he knew. Even if things weren't perfect, they were fighting, or he'd completely missed something so Lance was pissed at him, he still loved his husband profusely. Smiling as he felt Lance start to stir behind him, he placed his hand over his husband's right, loosely linking fingers  
"You awake, beautiful?"  
"Nope... I'm awake nauseous"  
"Oh, you're calling me "nauseous", are you?"  
Nosing Keith's neck, Lance kissed his nape  
"Never... come back to sleep?"  
"Babe, I don't think it works that way"  
"Shhh... cuddles"  
God. Seriously. Keith didn't know how much harder he could fall for Lance  
"Want me to cuddle you?"  
"Nope... I like this... you're a perfect fit"  
"You're a dork. You know this, right?"  
"Your dork..."  
"Yeah... ow! Jesus!"

The switch between soft, sleepy, cuddly Lance and Lance running for the bathroom came with a knee to a place no knee needed to be. Not with that much force. Hobbled, and clutching his crotch, Keith could hear Lance vomiting again as he made his way to their bathroom, his junk not as forgiving as the rest of him as he filled up the rinse cup on the bathroom counter and carried it over to his husband. Unable to keep from hissing as he half fell trying to crouch down by his husband's side. Keith managed to keep from spilling the water, but hit his not so "funny bone" in the process  
"Babe, I've you water"  
Heaving instead of replying, Keith liked to interpret that as "Thank you, my dear husband. Both me and our babies appreciate it, even if it did come at the price of your testicles and elbow"  
"You're welcome"  
Propping himself up with his elbow resting on the rim of the toilet, Lance blinked at him sleepily  
"Thanks, babe... 'm gonna be here..."  
Throwing up mid-sentence, Keith wrinkled his nose. He kind of preferred Lance vomiting when he couldn't see it coming out his mouth and nose at the same time  
"Be here a while... why don't you go back to bed?"  
"Because I'm your husband and if you're stuck in here, it's only fair I am too"

It took the next fifteen doboshes for Lance to stop gagging and hacking up spit before his husband could finally reply  
"It's ok... 'm okay here"  
"You're not ok here alone. I don't mind..."  
"I think I'm just gonna nap here on the floor..."  
"Rinse your mouth first. And you're not sleeping on the floor. Shift over"  
Lance's eyes watered, less than gracefully grabbing for him as Keith shuffled sideways, trapping himself between the toilet and the thin pane of glass that separated it from the shower. The position was horrible, but Lance looked so happy not to be alone  
"I love you!"  
"I know, babe. Here, rinse then drink some if you can. Shiro dropped off ration bars with your suitcase, so you'll be able to eat something a little later. I'm assuming you wanna nap right now?"  
Lance took the cup of water, rinsing and spitting as he was told  
"I do... but I know I'm going to throw up again..."  
"I think the bathroom can take it... maybe not my comms"  
"I don't know where mine are... I don't think I want to"  
"Don't think about it..."  
"I'm too sleepy... growing babies take sooo much energy"  
"Then it's a good thing you married a "cuddly octopus" isn't it?"  
"Best thing... I still feel on edge, but I can control things better with you here"  
Kissing Lance's hair, Keith them smiled lovingly at his husband  
"That's good. We're gonna work this out together"  
"Yep... you and me..."  
"Exactly. The Samurai and the Sharpshooter..."  
"Mmm... oh... quiznak..."

*  
Trapped on the bathroom floor, Lance was snoring loudly as Keith regretted cramming himself into such a small space. He'd needed to pee for the last varga, yet every time he moved Lance would grow distressed. Keith had already lost track of time between the fits of Lance napping, and the fits of him throwing his guys up miserably. He'd tried his hardest not to disturb him... but quiznak, he needed to pee. Shaking Lance's shoulder, his husband groaned at him  
"Babe, I need to use the toilet"  
"Mmm... fuck off... I'm sleeping"  
Sucking in his lips, Keith swallowed down his laughter  
"I know. You're sleeping on me"  
"Shhh..."  
"Lance..."  
"Shut up. I wannna to sleep"  
Being told to "shut up" was a bit abrupt. Lance usually listened when he woke him. Even if it was the middle of the night to discuss whatever idea had decided that he shouldn't sleep until he'd worked it out  
"I know you do... but I need to pee"  
"Ngh... just stop talking..."  
"Lance..."  
"Leave me alone... just go pee already"  
Moving his boyfriend, Lance fought his hands growling at him until Keith stopped. Lance wasn't really the "growler" in their relationship. Keith only accepting his growling due to his Galra heritage. Whatever was going on with his husband, he didn't want to move despite it being a reasonable request.

Waiting a few more doboshes until Lance had settled. Keith carefully tried to move Lance again. This time ending up bitten on the hand for his efforts. He didn't want to use force, but there was also no way in quiznak he was wetting himself when the toilet was right in front of him. Frustrated to point of genuine anger, Keith pulled his comms out and paused, before deciding that he did indeed need help. Opening a message to Shiro, embarrassment warmed his cheeks as he thought how to phrase his message until his bladder pulsed painfully and gave him no choice  
"Shiro. Bathroom. SOS. I'm trapped and Lance is moody. Help"  
Moody felt like an understatement. His husband had bitten him. Sworn at him. And told him to "shut up". He wasn't feeling the love at all. Lance was lucky he did love him. Anyone else would have been punched for daring to bite him.

Left there until near breaking point, Shiro was a sweaty mess when arrived. Frowning at the sight of a peacefully, and angelic-looking, sleeping Lance, his adopted brother seemed clueless  
"Get him off me"  
"Why?"  
"Because he's in a foul mood, and won't let me move him"  
Still confused, Shiro moved to Lance's side, lifting him off Keith's lap. His husband letting himself be lifted like he hadn't been a total shit to him  
"Can you take him into our room. I'll be in a tick"  
"Ok. But I think you know you owe me an explanation"  
"I know..."

Finding relief in being able to pee, Keith scrubbed his hands firmly. Lance had bitten his hand hard enough to draw blood, but Keith supposed it was better he bit him then zapped him with his Altean magic again. Heading through the bedroom, Lance was sleeping on his side though now appeared to be crying in his sleep  
"What did you do to him?"  
Shaking his head, Shiro's face seemed to be stuck on confused over the whole thing  
"Nothing. The moment I laid him down, he whimpered and the tears started. What did you do to him?"  
The tiny traces of accusation in Shiro's tone rubbed Keith the wrong way  
"Me!? I tried to wake up to move him, and he fucking bit me"  
Holding his hand up, Shiro's eyes widened fractionally  
"He bit you?"  
"He also lost his temper at me. I was stuck on the bathroom floor because I didn't want him sleeping in there, and this is the thanks I get"  
"You know he's fragile... Did you try being..."  
Why was Shiro lecturing him? Like he was going to hurt Lance?!  
"I shook him awake gently and was sworn at for it"  
"How long were you down there for?"  
"I have no idea. Long enough for my back to hurt. Every time I moved he got upset. Then trying to move him got me bitten"  
"Maybe he was having a nightmare?"  
"More like he's a pampered little shit"  
"Keith!"

Sighing in frustration, that wasn't what he meant. He adored Lance. He also didn't know why Shiro was going after him now...  
"I know. Ok. I know. He's having a rough time. But I asked him to move because I needed to pee. I don't think that warrants him getting snappy with me"  
"Soooo that's what this about?"  
Quiznak. He'd fucked up and admitted the truth  
"Ok. Yeah. But I've needed to pee for at least a varga. He was napping on me because of his nausea. I get he's uncomfortable, but he drew blood"  
"And you know the second he knows he's going to be upset. With him sleeping, I don't think it was the emergency you made it out to be"  
"Fine. The next time he falls asleep on you, and you're trapped needing to pee, I'm going to leave him there. Also. I didn't say it was a matter of life and death"  
"No. You said "SOS". Which is close enough"  
"It was an emergency!"  
He'd nearly wet himself. Lance wouldn't have teased him... but he might have just had to leave the planet and change his name from the personal internally projected shame  
"I ran out on Curtis because of you"  
"With how sweaty you are, I don't think I want to know. You can head back now. I've learned my lesson. I won't wedge myself in next time"  
"Or I can stay with him. You were supposed to get your hair cut..."  
"Supposed to"? What was that meant to mean? He knew they'd skipped lunch, but it couldn't be that late...  
"It's that late?"  
"You missed lunch, dinner and the start of tonight's trial run. Curtis and I had been successfully distracting everyone until you called. Veronica was looking to apologise to Lance, too. We said you were both busy planning the recruit training, so you'd better come up with something"

That... actually explained a lot. Why he'd needed to pee. Why his back hurt like quiznak and now why his stomach was screaming at him... He'd barely had any of his waffles before breakfast went to hell... Not that he blamed Lance. He was... hangry. 

"Oh"

Starting to fuss over Lance, Shiro pulled their blankets up, before moving the pill bottles from the top of the bedside table into the top drawer of it to make space for the ration bars he went about retrieving and stacking them strangely neatly. Ignoring Keith's watching eyes, Shiro headed into the bathroom next, returning with a full cup of water which he placed down next to the ration bars.

"Yes, "oh". Your husband is pregnant. Even if he's grumpy, it's not healthy for him to have only eaten 6 ration bars in... how long now?. He wouldn't even eat properly for me. I had to try and spoon feed him. He needs food and water, even if he's cranky at you. Keith. This isn't like a cover mission where you can't eat because you don't have time. Him not eating, is seriously going to affect your children. As well as his mental and physical health. No wonder he's dreaming of being captive again, food isn't exactly high on priority for a captive. I don't care if you have to feel like shit, be tougher on him with eating. Even if you get bitten in the process. They already said he was malnourished... what you're going through... It's... something that not everyone can have. No matter how much they might love their partner... You're lucky to have what you have with him. You didn't realise how long it'd been since he ate, since either of you ate. It might have been fine before he fell pregnant, but love alone won't keep him pregnant, or feed your children the nutrients they desperately need. Set alarms on your comms, and go take a walk while I talk to Lance"

Keith felt as if he'd missed something. He couldn't make Lance eat if all his husband was doing was napping between bouts of nausea. The bite on his hand no longer seemed important when Shiro phrases things like that. He had no idea what a pregnant person needed. He had no idea how he should be going about getting Lance to eat and drink properly when his husband couldn't keep anything down. Yet, when Shiro said it, Keith was left clenching his fists and feeling incredibly stupid. He was also left feeling like his older brother felt he wouldn't be much of a father to the twins. Grinding his teeth so hard together that it hurt, the half-Galran strode over to the bedroom door, wishing he could slam the stupid thing in Shiro's face. He'd barely had 80ish vargas to come to terms with being a father. He was out of his depth and desperately trying to find ways to soothe Lance's anxieties so his husband would be comfortable with the idea of being pregnant as it was. What else could he do? Why was he failing at helping his husband when he was trying his hardest to figure this whole thing out still? He'd fallen in love with their twins the moment he'd seen them on the ultrasound. He didn't want anything to happen to them... but he didn't know if he could be tough on his husband after neglecting him for so long. He deeply feared Lance turning his back on him, or walking away because he felt he wasn't making an effort. Throwing all the love he could at Lance with the hopes of something sticking was all he felt he could do. Lance was either too tired, sick, or nauseous for a full and proper conversation over anything. Yet, Shiro knew best it seemed, while Keith knew nothing.


	13. Chapter 13

Keith was acting distant. Lance didn't know how he'd managed to sleep for most of the previous day, or how he could feel like he hadn't, yet today was going to be a good day. He was determined for it to be a good day. Leaving his husband sleeping, he'd scrubbed every inch of his body down, plucked his eyebrows to perfection, trimmed his pubes, lotioned the quiznak out of his skin, managed to find a way to wear his hair that looked a sexy kind of "effortless" mess, then dressed in a soft blue button-up shirt that Keith never failed to compliment him in, coupled with jeans that hugged his hips and arse so perfectly that it should be sinful. He'd cleaned his boots up, had both knives back in place where they belonged. Found his comms, wrinkled his face in annoyance over Veronica's repeated apologies, cleared the notifications then swapped over to wearing his work comms instead. When Keith had invited him to live with him, he'd forgotten all about the fact he'd promised his team that they'd hit up the festival.

Though. In his defence, he did have other things on his mind.

From what his distracted mind could remember, Shiro had woken him up at some point the previous night to make him eat, and to discuss the fact that he couldn't spend vargas ignoring food. He also had the feeling he'd been dozing before that, something sat wrong in the reaches of his brain. Like bad news that refused to be processed. It wasn't as if he'd done it on purpose, the moment he'd gotten back to their room he'd decided to say "quiznak it all". They said he and his babies needed to change. He needed to eat for their sake, which he'd already sworn to do. Keith was crazy excited about it all, and once he'd recovered his strength and ability not to keep breaking down, he was sure he'd be just as excited. The last thing he remembered was drifting off in Keith's arms and thinking he was the luckiest man in the world to have such an understanding husband. He knew he and Keith really needed to have a talk about everything, but he'd thought his husband was working on easing the way into the conversation by letting him try to destress before bringing everything up. Now Keith was acting distant and Lance's hackles were raised.

Walking up towards the main row of the festival, the day was bright, with enough cloud cover to take the edge off. All around them were people laughing, children running around screaming, and vendors pumping more scents than his mind could register into the air as they called out to advertise their stalls, whether they be food, games or something else. In preparation for his date, Lance had pretty much slathered beneath his nose with his eucalyptus lip balm. Eucalyptus wasn't his favourite scent, yet it did have the advantage of being the one thing that smothered everything else. All he wanted was his date with Keith. He wanted to eat all kinds of stupid food. Play all the stupid games and spent time being a lovesick fool with his husband. Now he had Keith walking beside him with his hands firmly wedged into the front pockets of his jeans, without having made a single comment or compliment in his direction. Having not been terribly positive about his body for phoebs, he'd even taken selfies to commemorate their date... following it up with a few awkward photos of his tiny baby bump... though he was pretty sure it was more ration bar bump than baby, quietly proud over having kept most of it down. The first thing he'd done when he woke up was force down two bars. 

Having agreed to meet Daehra and Lucteal near Allura's statue, Lance's smile was stupidly wide when he saw the small surprise waiting with the pair. Annla's deep blue hair shimmering as she caught sight of him, and came running towards him. Jogging towards the pint-sized princess, he swept Annla up into the air, spinning her before settling her on his hip. Pout at his lack of usual "gentlemanly" charm, Annla bopped him on the head lightly   
"Laaance. I'm a princesssssss. You can't casually sweep me off my feet"  
"I'm sorry, my'lady. How have you been, my princess?"  
"Excellent! I've missed you... and you... Mr Lance. Mr Lance! Are you and Mr Keith... having a baby!?"  
Right... empath powers... that worked even better through direct touch...  
Covering Annla's mouth with his hand, Lance shook his head. Today was a good day. It was going to be a good day. A great day. An amazing day!  
"That's a secret. Like how you secretly married me and Keith off without telling us"  
"Daehra says..."

Bopping Annla on the tip of her nose, Lance could feel Keith glaring a hole through the back of his head. It wasn't his fault Annla knew! Plus, she was genuinely excited for them with no pre held prejudices   
"That "we're two halves of the same idiot"... I know, but you still went ahead and tricked us... and for that, you are keeping our secret"  
"But why? Why aren't you happy?"  
"Because it's complicated. Keith and I only just found out, so we want to keep it to ourselves for a little longer. Now, stop distracting me. We're supposed to be enjoying the festival. Where do you want to start?"  
Annla pouted, her puppy-dog eyes made it so hard not to just sweep her off and spoil her rotten  
"Mr Laaaance!"  
"Nope. When did you start calling me "Mr Lance?" again, little lady?"  
"Mother says I have to be more polite"  
Lance blew a raspberry. The point of festivals was to have fun, not for Annla to walk around missing out, and watching everyone else having fun while she was forced to miss out due to her royal status  
"Baaaah. We're at a festival. It's all about the food and rides today"  
"But I want to know about the baby... M-Keith... won't you tell me, please?"

Lifting Annla off his hip, Keith set her down  
"Babe, can I talk to you for a moment?"  
Lance had no idea where this conversation was going. Tugging him a few feet away from Annla, Keith crossed his arms  
"What was that?"  
Raising an eyebrow, Lance was lost. Keith's tone had his heart rate rising  
"What?"  
"Picking Annla up like that?! What if something happens to the twins?"  
Snapping to annoyed, Lance wanted smack his husband   
"Nothing was going to happen. All I did was catch her?!"  
"With that force against your stomach... What if it caused a miscarriage? What if she'd hurt you?"  
Keith wasn't used to the chaos of small kids... He'd been in the foster system and closed himself down emotionally due to his trauma. His husband was already a helicopter parent and their twins were barely twins   
"Babe... I'm strong enough to hold Annla"  
"You swung her around and up onto your hip! She could have kneed you in the stomach"  
"Keith... I can handle it. I can handle kids... I caught her, spun with her to slow the force, then lifted her onto my stomach. All her force and momentum from running was lost in that spin. Now, what's going on with you? You've been in a bad mood all morning"  
"I'm not in a bad mood"

The way Keith slightly shifted his weight. A hand coming up to brush his fringe back from his eyes. Yet his lips were the real give away that Keith had been in a bad mood, and wasn't enjoying being pushed on the topic. Trying not to let his anxiety show, Lance hated that his heart was racing even harder over what should be a simple conversation   
"Babe. I know you're in a bad mood. Did I do something?"  
"I... no. It was Shiro"  
Ah. Oh...  
"Did he give you the talk? About my health?"  
Keith's eyes went wide, relief flooding his expression   
"He gave you the same talk!?"  
Oh, thank fuck... They could talk about this. He didn't know what he would have said if Keith had dumped something heavier than this on him  
"Yeah. Yeah, he did"  
"He says I'm too lenient on you. I should be pushing harder for you to eat... You didn't eat before we left the room, and now we're... This was going to be our date. Now we have Annla... and Daehra and Lucteal here... and I thought... it was going to be just us..."

Opening his arms, Lance tapped his foot until Keith slowly shuffled into his hold  
"I was so excited about today. I woke up early. I ate, and I ate, and I ate, some of those ration bars to make sure I had the energy for today. Then you were so upset... I want to have that date with you, but I also think this will be good for you. You say you don't know how to be a big brother, let alone a father. Annla is a bit bigger than a baby, but you know... I think this could be good for you. You were great with Juana. She loved you. So did Nadia and Sylvio... it's not for the whole day, you know. Plus, she's really happy for us. And that's... it's kind of nice not pretending"  
"What if she tells someone?"  
Nuzzling into Keith's hairline, Lance pressed a kiss to the spot. He was annoyed that Keith couldn't use his adult words to simply tell him what had been on his mind. Sure, he'd slept most of the previous day, but that was yesterday. And sure, he really could do with going back to bed for another deca-phoeb, but today was going to be a good day... no matter how many times he had to repeat the mantra in his head  
"She won't. She's a tough kid, she keeps secrets and doesn't let anyone see her upset. After her father passed, she tried to keep it all in. I didn't know she was coming today, but I think she could use some serious fun. Besides... I'm not going to complain about spending my day with my smokin' hot husband"  
"You ate? You're not just saying that? And she didn't hit your stomach?"  
"I swear on our wedding hair clips, that I ate. I showered. I shaved. I tried to groom my hair the best I could... even picked this shirt you like so much. I wanted today to be good"  
"You smell funny..."

Moving to try to rub his wrist on Lance's neck, Lance tried to dodge while still holding Keith in his arms  
"It's either the deodorant, the body butter, or the lip balm"  
"And you aren't wearing your suit under your clothes... or your mask..."  
So casual clothes on their date were a no go? He was sure if he'd put his suit on, Keith would have fussed over him wearing it... Did Keith not appreciate the effort it took to look this damn good? Or the effort it took to soothe his nerves into not hiding his body away in his combat suit? His husband hadn't even noticed that he'd stolen his pair of fingerless gloves because his hands felt too exposed without something there and wearing his work gloves wouldn't have gone with the look he was aiming for  
"Maybe I wanted to look good for my husband!?"  
"Idiot. Your health and safety is more important"  
Keith was at him to relax. To be how he used to be. To be worry less and be happy. Altea was safe, and all that. He'd protect him. So he dressed for his husband. For fun. And agreeing to try this "normal not on constant guard" kind of thing  
"I'm an idiot for wanting to look good for you?"  
"I don't want anything to happen to our twins... I feel like you're not over what happened after the scan. I feel like you're not as ok as you're trying to be. You had a major depressive episode. You were barely a step up from catatonic. I want to tell you not to try so much, but Shiro made it sound like we're not trying at all"

Shiro could only offer advice from an outsiders point of view. It wasn't as if Lance didn't want to try. His body was simply reacting differently to his first pregnancy. He honestly was beyond exhausted, too exhausted for food, but he wanted to try. Wasn't that the main point?

"I'm not... I'm not over it. There are too many people. Too many scents. Too many unknown elements. I don't want to see our friends. I don't want to talk to my family. I don't want to do anything other than fall back to sleep because I'm quiznakking exhausted Keith. My head is filled with waaaay to much stuff. I feel one bad incident away from ending up crying on the floor. But I woke up this morning thinking about how much I wanted this day with you. So I primped. I dressed as nice as I could. I want a nice and normal date with my husband"  
"And you ate?"  
"Yes. I ate. Can we go now? I want to see everything we can. Do everything we can... and I want to do it with you. Don't you think it's going to be fun teaching Annla things? Her planet doesn't have ice cream! What kind of planet doesn't have ice cream? No chocolate. No fairyfloss. This is important to me too because I know... the last... you really suck at letting go and relaxing. We've been married for something close an Earth year with all the time pockets and to the outside world it's probably more... and we've only been on one date. We weren't even dating properly when we did. We skipped right to the end... I want more, Keith. I'm selfish, shallow and greedy. I want to go places and see things with you before it's four of us. So can you try to make an effort today? Not to be so frowny and grouchy? This day is the start of the festival to remember Allura's sacrifice... she wouldn't want any of us to be sad"  
"I'm not being grouchy. I'm exhausted. I've been wracking my brain trying to think how to tell you that I have to be stricter. Shiro told me to set alarms. To wake you up to eat... He made it sound like I wasn't considering your health"

Lance bit his bottom lip. He didn't like to worry his husband, yet Keith didn't have all the facts. Shiro... for possibly the first time in their shared history, Shiro was jealous of what he and Keith were going through. Shiro hadn't said in that way, still, he'd said enough. Lance now felt a whole new kind of guilt for monopolising Shiro's time. He wasn't taking care of his body, when Shiro would never have this same experience. To Lance though, a parent's love didn't have to be biological or tied through blood. He knew enough people who didn't get on with their parents, yet for some reason society still shoved the shitty "perfect" family thing down people's throats. He... when he'd been torn between his feelings for both Allura and Keith, he'd allowed himself that daydream. That daydream of adopting. That daydream of fostering. Raising a family with Keith. He was still very open to the idea of fostering, yet he hesitated to bring it up with Keith given his traumatic past. The fact that houses existed where kids weren't loved or safe... It broke his heart. He hated how deeply the kids would have been hurt. How their faith would have been destroyed. Lance wasn't sure he had any faith in humanity to be throwing around, but if he could just show one child they weren't alone, he'd be able to hold his head high.

"I've spoken with Shiro. He was kind of right, even if he didn't use the right words. You're my husband, Keith. My absolute world. I'm going to work hard to keep your twins safe and sound. And you're going to work hard at having fun, Mullet"  
Keith laughed at him softly  
"It's not a "mullet", I had a trim last night"  
Keith had gone and gotten his hair cut without him. But he wasn't going to mention that, because today was going to be a good day. He wasn't going to mention how much it'd hurt... or that he'd been excited to go with his husband. Or that he'd had all these silly little plans of watching Keith get his hair cut. He wanted to know what kind of expressions his husband would make. The way he'd move. The way he held his head. The kind of short speak between him and the hairdresser. He wanted to see it and commit it to memory as it was another side of Keith he hadn't seen  
"I know. Now, can we please go have fun?"  
Detaching from Keith, Lance grabbed him by the right wrist in order to start dragging him towards Annla. His husband mumbling to himself as he did. Today was going to be a good day. He wasn't going to get caught in his head, and the uncomfortable feeling he got from Allura's towering statue wasn't going to ruin his date with Keith. Allura had done this to him. If she didn't want him pregnant with Keith's children, then she shouldn't have changed his body without his permission. The guilt he felt over being married to Keith, and being happy with Keith... under her statues gaze, was not going to ruin things for him. Or for Keith who was no doubt worrying over how celebrating Allura would affect their relationship.

*  
Keith was the first to admit he wasn't pleased about sharing his date with Lance, with Annla, Daehra and Lucteal. It'd been so long since their last date. Far too long when he thought about all the phoebs between then and now. Yet, despite his displeasure, Lance had proven to be right as they spent their morning teaching Annla, and the two siblings, the joys of "festivalling". 

For the most part, the rides were similar to Earth in the way that there were multiple sized roller coasters, bumper cars, a Ferris wheel, an exceptionally creepy merry go round with creatures that looked more out of a nightmare than cute and fun, parasols, teacups, a zero-gravity and a high gravity spinner. There was also a waterpark, waterslide, an alien version of a log ride. Then there were the other things like skill testers, shooting range, balls and clowns, strength testers, fortune tellers, hoops, show bags and various other small vendor games. If Keith had been alone, he would have had no idea where to start, yet his husband was a self-proclaimed festival expert, declaring that there was a certain way to get the most out of the experience. With how excited Lance seemed to be over it all, Keith could only nod and agree as Lance appointed himself the festival king.

Starting with teacups, because it was Annla's first time at a festival, Lance splurged as he insisted on paying for everyone's ride tickets. You could pay GAC for each ride, or if you had a ticket, you got to skip most of the waiting time in encouragement for people to be prepared. Ignoring the rules, Lance had Annla in his lap as she spun the wheel, shrieking with both laughter and fear. From there they hit up the smaller roller coaster. Lucteal looking a little green as they climbed off, while Annla demanded to go on the big one. Redirecting her to the bumper cars, Keith felt for his husband. He hadn't considered the fact that Lance's "condition" would exclude him from rides, yet there was a clear sign warning against pregnant people using the ride. Lance brushed it off, insisting he was fine, but Keith was sent into a whole new world of worry. Shiro's words had played over and over in his mind, his husband had been asleep by the time he'd returned from having Coran trim his hair. He hadn't been looking for the man, yet as he'd stalked off to cool down, he'd first run into To'ral, who ended up copping most of his feelings at the time, then Coran on his way back to Lance. His hair was shorter than he'd wanted it, barely falling halfway down his shoulder blades, but where he'd thought he'd get teasing from Lance he'd gotten silence. It'd been the middle of the night before he'd fallen asleep, wondering how he could talk to Lance about his health. Because of his brooding, he'd nearly ruined the day with his husband, who clearly wanted to do absolutely everything they could together. Now that Lance was being excluded from certain rides, he felt selfish for enjoying ramming Annla in the bumper cars. Even if the princess held no qualms over taking the three adults head-on. To steal the phrase usually reserved for Kosmo, Annla was a menace. Merciless as she first took on Lucteal, then took on Daehra, only for Daehra to team up with her again, against him. Calling Lucteal to his aide, the four of them were evicted from the ride for being too heavy-handed, leaving Lance in a fit of laughter that wound up only coming to end after they passed a coffee stall and Lance was sent running to the closest bin. 

Missing the shared look between Annla, Lucteal and Daehra, Keith rubbed his husband's back while Lance cursed the world. The half-Galran didn't notice Daehra leaving their group in order to buy some water for Lance. When his husband reappeared from "examining the contents of the trash can", an unnecessary and completely unbelievable lie, Daehra was waiting with the bottle of water, passing it over she casually stated, "you need to stay hydrated for the sake of you and your child". Keith... thought about trying to lie his way out of it. Jealousy kindling in the base of his stomach as their small secret seemed to be growing without their expressed permission. Their friends couldn't help their empathic powers, but they could help when it came to choosing to announce they'd figured out their big secret. With Lance looking green around the gills, and somewhat paler as he processed what Daehra had said, Keith took his husband's hand in his. He wasn't ashamed of this pregnancy. He might have been every single definition of "scared shitless", and then some, but he wasn't ashamed that he and Lance had created twins. He loved his husband deeply, and sure, he wasn't ready to be a father, but he sure as quiznak wasn't turning his back on his husband or their children. 

Deciding that it was best for Lance to sit and recover his strength, Keith led the group over to the cafe area, stopping a few stalls away so that Lance wouldn't have to be overwhelmed with the heavy scents of food. Sitting down on a bench, he pulled his husband into his lap so he could rub his wrist against Lance's neck. His husband smelt wrong. He'd picked up the scents of the people standing near him as they'd watched the four idiots attempting to ruin the dodgem-cars, and while knowing Lance couldn't help it, his instincts were on edge from the unwanted scents. Leaning back into his hold, Lance sipped at his water as Daehra sat beside them wearing her best "mum expression" as she pushed the topic  
"Lance, I know you're pregnant. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
Shooting her weak finger guns, Lance sighed softly   
"You got me. But how did you know? Could you sense on it me, like Annla?"  
"No. Keith's thoughts. I'm sorry Keith, but you were projecting your worry over Lance too strongly for us not to be affected. You've also been staring at his stomach more than you seemed to realise. If you had realised, you would have attempted to correct your gaze. Then there's the fact that Lance couldn't join us on that ride, but what really gave it away was the pregnancy test that was caught up in your washing. If you didn't wish for people to know your secret, I would suggest not leaving around evidence"  
Groaning to himself, Lance laughed as he pushed a kiss to Keith's cheek  
"I think she's got us. It's nice to know my husband couldn't keep his eyes off me"  
"You're a shit... I thought we weren't telling anyone"  
Their parents didn't even know. Neither did Coran... who was basically family anyway. Picking his words carefully, Keith heard the effort Lance was going to to be polite about it all  
"We aren't, but we can't take it back. We didn't tell you because Keith only just found out. With human pregnancies... there can be a lot of complications. We don't know if I can carry without losing them... We also wanted to tell our parents too, before everyone else knew"  
"I understand that... but... I wish you'd felt able to confide in me"  
Lance's scent started turning, Keith annoyed at Daehra's reply. Sure, she'd done so much for both of them, but this was their news. None of this was going to be easy, especially for Lance. When discovered that Lance had a womb, Daehra had been told that men of their species didn't normally fall pregnant   
"It's not that, Daehra. This pregnancy is a big deal for both of us. We're both scared over it. If Lance experiences complications, he may die..."  
"I wish I could have helped. I would have understood Lance's needs better, as well as his mental state. I take it that this is why Lance is leaving to live with you?"

There was a shift in Lance's scent from upset to angry, Lance sitting forward   
"Lance is here. Lance shouldn't have to remind you he is right here. He also doesn't want to talk about this. I think it's time we let Annla choose what we're doing next"  
It was a bad habit of theirs to speak about Lance like he wasn't there. Though, his husband had seemed pretty content in his lap physically, until they pushed him over the pregnancy   
"Lance, I'm sorry if I over spoke..."  
"You're worried, but I wanted to keep this to myself longer. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it right now. I don't want to do anything other than enjoy time with my husband on our date"  
"You and Keith were on a date?"  
"Not "were", "are". I love this dorky mullet more than anything, so I keep telling myself today is going to be a good day. I guess that god refused to give me the day off from morning sickness so that I could enjoy it properly with Keith. Still, I'm happy that Annla is here. I told Keith it'll be like a trial run for when we're parents"  
"Keith is here too, you know"

Sitting up to wrap his arms around Lance's stomach, Keith nuzzled into his neck. He wanted to spend the whole day making his husband happy, yet Lance was happy for now hanging out with his team and Annla... and Keith was enjoying the excitement on Annla's face over the simplest things. They'd passed a strength tester as they'd walked, Annla staring up the mostly familiar animal faces. Seeing they walking to find somewhere better for Lance to rest, she hadn't voiced her desires out loud, but Keith had noticed out the corner of his eye how interested she looked. Despite the game most likely being rigged, he still wanted to try to win something for her. Her first, then he'd use every single skill he had to win whatever his husband wanted. It'd be nice to make new memories, and not just memories over attempting to win Allura "something shiny".

Rolling his eyes with a huff, Lance lightly dropped his head back against Keith's forehead. His husband's hair smelt of coconut, only upsetting his instincts more as it wasn't Lance's usual distinct scent. His head felt muddled from the difference, like his eyes could see Lance, he could touch and feel his husband, but his nose was telling the rest of him to be wary  
"I know my dork is right here. It's not as funny as you think it is when it happens to you, is it? You guys can grab something to eat if you want, while we're this close. Then Annla can choose the next activity"  
"Lance, you should eat. It is unhealthy not to eat in your current..."  
"La la la la. Not listening. I have food with me. Seriously, you guys have to try all the festival food. Keith will take you. I'm just going to sit here and sip my water until my stomach settles"  
"I can stay..."  
"Don't make me "la la" over you too. I'm fine. I'm fine and don't need all the fussing. No more baby talk from any of you. Keith is going to introduce you to sugar... Ice cream would be even better. Keith, find them ice cream!"  
Ice cream wasn't real food...  
"Uh, babe... are you sure?"  
"Yep. And while you're at it, I'll take bubblegum flavour if they've got it"  
Ooooh. So Lance wanted ice cream. If Lance wanted ice cream, he was getting ice cream  
"Do you want any toppings on it?"  
"See, this is what makes you husband material. Ok. So if they've got bubblegum, then waffle cone with no topping. If they don't, then I want vanilla with sprinkles"  
"In a waffle cone?"  
Undoing his hold around his waist, his husband turned towards him, holding the pads pointer and thumb of his left hand a few millimetres away from each other  
"Babe, you were so close. Of course in a waffle cone. All other cones are traitors and mami didn't raise no heathen"  
"No, mami raised an amazing man with dubious tastes"  
"Oi! I represent that implication!"  
"I know you do, babe. That's why I love you. Are you sure you don't want anything else?"  
Lance shook his head, before stealing a kiss  
"No. Go have fun, then come back to me"  
As if there was anywhere else he wanted to be  
"Ok. I love you"  
"I love you too, Samurai. Make sure these two don't get too carried away with the flavours. And make sure you don't let Annla have all the toppings. They don't taste good together. It's way too much at once. Let her try sprinkles, but only choose one syrup"  
"I'll keep that in mind"  
He had no clue when it came to kids and sugar, only that too much lead to them feeling sick... He already knew what he wanted. If they had bubblegum, he'd simply get vanilla with sprinkles so Lance could have some of both. It was a small step to getting their date back on track.

Finding ice cream wasn't that hard, or as hard as Keith had worried. One of the vendors was proudly advertising "Earth" food, despite being manned by a team that clearly wasn't human. Insisting that she was a "big" girl and that she could handle a cone, Annla got a double scoop of strawberry with sprinkles. Keith able to fulfil Lance's desire for both a waffle cone and bubblegum flavouring, and a plain vanilla waffle cone with sprinkles. Feeling adventurous, Daehra tried the salted caramel, while Lucteal looked somewhat sullen as he ordered a double scoop of banana and chocolate. Paying for the lot, the price was grossly overinflated at what would have been about $10 back home for each treat. He never would have splurged for such expensive ice cream back on Earth. He'd rather spend a half an hour drive from home to find a better price, yet with Lance being pregnant, he pretty much wouldn't be able to say no to him. Plus, those ration bars... Lance deserved a treat for forcing those down.

Ordering both flavours were worth it when Keith saw the way his husband's face lit up. Laughing and crying, Lance took his ice cream from him, before taking a lick of Keith's offered ice cream as he sniffled out his "thanks" and his "I'm sorry for crying, but I swear I'm really happy". Sitting beside his husband, Keith looped his arm over Lance's shoulder. Lance happily cuddling into his side as he kept crying, trading licks of their ice creams, though Lance pretty much ate both of theirs, leaving Keith his cone to finish alone. Seeing as he didn't really want the ice cream to begin with, and how cute his husband was, the half-Galra was tempted to head back to the vendor to order two more, simply to see Lance keep smiling as he was. Waiting until they'd finished eating, Annla tugged Keith's hand softly to draw his attention from Lance, shyly asking where a bathroom was. Not knowing the protocol for taking kids to the bathroom, he was kicked in the shin for asking Daehra to take Annla to the bathroom, the princess calling him stupid, resulting in Lance cackling with laughter. Keith had no idea what he'd missed  
"It's alright, Annla. I could use a trip to the bathroom too. Keith is a little dense about some things. Are you two going to wait here?"  
Leaning around them, Daehra glanced at Lance, then back to Lucteal, then back to Lance again   
"We were thinking you two could continue your date?"  
"Guys, you don't have to be like that. Sure we're all hanging out together, but I'm happy as long as I get to spend time with him. Besides, I don't mind spending time with Annla... She's our favourite little princess, after all"  
Daehra and Lucteal were far too trusting. They were likely to find all the wrong kinds of vendors at the festival... but Keith wanted quality alone time, especially now that Lance was getting sleepy. Lance's scent again clueing him in better than his husband was  
"Why don't we take Annla to the bathroom, then meet you back here and go from there? That way Lance and Annla can go to the toilet, and you two can pick what you want to do next?"  
Nuzzling into his neck, Lance "whispered"  
"I want to go on the big rollercoaster"  
"No, thank you. If you're doing that, I'm going to wait right here. I see no point in paying GAC when it's the exact same thing each time we go for a fly with Lance"  
"Rude! I'm an excellent pilot!"

Yelling in his ear, Keith shoved his husband away  
"That was my ear!"  
"Lucteal insulted my honour!"  
"What honour? I was there for the Blue Lion experience!"  
"Dude! Yeah was like once. Blue literally had a mind of her own"  
Starting his sentence, Keith figured he could bluff rather than expose any of Lance's secrets. Lucteal was handling finding out Lance was pregnant better than he thought... unless the man was taking pot shots as his husband and not jesting  
"Shall we not talk about..."  
Even Daehra was in on it. This was gold, or it would have been if Lance hadn't cut her off  
"Ok! Enough. I'm more than capable at piloting any ship thrown my way. Come on, Annla. We don't need these losers"

With Annla up on his shoulders, Annla was directing them where they needed to go. There were various electronic signs up that cycled through alien languages, though the main theme of the map was the same, Lance able to decipher enough to pass the directions up to Annla, not caring about the last of her ice cream dripping into his hair. Passing the same skill tester as they had before, Annla nearly fell off backwards as she craned her neck to stare at the rows of masks  
"Do you want one?"

Pulling bits of Lance's hair out in the process of her fall, Annla pulled out more in surprise. Lance yelping as the force pulled him backwards   
"I... what... no... masks are for babies"  
Blushing, Annla bit her lip  
"Are you sure? I saw you watching them as we passed the first time"  
"They're for babies. I'm not a baby"  
Keith was at a loss for what to say. Annla was usually so forceful that she practically would have demanded on. Shifting his weight, he opened his mouth, before closing it as he tried to come up with the right words  
"Really? I think some of these are kind of cute. There's a lot of Earth animals in the mix... and a lot I don't know the name for either... Keith, do you feel up to a strength test? I mean, my big rugged husband should have noooo trouble at all winning us a mask each... I think that white cat one, the third along the top row is pretty adorable, but then the black cat mask in the fifth row is all chubby, and chubby cats are adorable too... He looks like he's packed full of yummy treats and ready for pats and naps... Oh my god, babe, we should get that one for you. You love your pats and naps"  
Keith's cheeks reddened. He only liked pats and naps when it involved Lance. It wasn't even pats and naps... He was a man. It was quiznakking "manly cuddles with his husband"  
"Whatever... It's your fault"  
"Ignore him, Annla. I think you'd look super cute in the white cat mask. I think the orange is supposed to be a fox... but it might be a tiger with those stripes... hold up, is that a Voltron mask? Keith, can you see what that they did to yellow!? We totally have to tell Hunk. He'd go nuts for it... or over it... I do not remember yellow's face being so squashed"

Cottoning on to the fact he may have real customers on his hand, the man manning the stall slipped out from behind the rows of masks. Keith taking an instant dislike to his cocky smile and slicked back white hair as he rubbed his hands together greedily. Somehow he'd rigged the strength test with the intention of taking money from naive festival-goers  
"Step right up. Step right up. All it takes is one hit. Hit hard enough that the top light glows and win a prize! 900 GAC gets you 3 tries!"  
900 GAC geez. Keith had a feeling that the price might have been inflated given who he and Lance were. Still, he had his own personal pride to think of, and more importantly, he wanted to wipe the smugness off the man's face  
"If I win, I get my choice of any mask I want, don't I?"  
"Anything in the red zone and you get your choose from the second row down. Hit the light and you get your choose from the top row"  
Looking over to the masks, the white cat one was in the top row. As he listened to his husband explain the different animals to Annla, he understood now why Lance had made a fuss over how cute they were. Annla was embarrassed because she didn't know the names of the animals on them. She didn't know how to say which one she liked, and her princess pride wouldn't let her admit her faults. Mentally snorting to himself, Annla was kind o a carbon copy of him when it came to not knowing things. Or how he used to be...  
"Do you two know what you want?"  
Giving him possibly the biggest smile he'd ever seen, Annla nodded quickly   
"The white cat one... Lance was right. It's the cutest one there"  
Tilting his head back, Lance's smile was open and unguarded as he gazed up at Annla   
"I like to think I have excellent taste"  
"Nooooo. The white cat is better than the black cat!"  
"I think the black one is adorable"  
Annla wasn't having it  
"It's ugly"  
"It's "ugly cute". I'm going to have to teach you all about fat cats and their super important role in Earth culture"

Furrowing his brow, Keith crossed his arms as he tried to glare at Lance. His husband made it far too hard to be angry with him for real, especially when he looked so natural carrying Annla around on his shoulders as if she was their daughter  
"I thought you said the black one reminded you of me. Are you trying to tell me I'm "ugly cute"?"  
Snorting with laughter, Lance poked his tongue out before looking at him  
"You're the one who said it, babe"  
Oh. It was so on. His husband was a little shit. He'd give him "ugly cute"  
"Just you watch. I'm going to win both those damn masks, then I'm going to make you eat your words. 900 GAC right?"  
"That's right! Let's see you win... if you can"

Pulling out his wallet, Keith pulled out 1000 GAC, which unsurprisingly the vendor "didn't" have change for. Lifting the mallet from its holder beside the tester, it was grossly misproportioned weight and size-wise. There was a high possibility that if he was a "normal" festival-goer he wouldn't have been able to lift the quiznakking thing, to begin with   
"You've got this, babe! Show him what you can do!"  
Clapping and cheering for him, Lance didn't care he was making a fool of himself and drawing stares from the passing people  
"Yeah! Go, Keith!"  
"Hey, get your own husband! This one's mine"  
Giggling, Annla nodded  
"I know. I was there... I see you still carry both your tokens"  
Moving his hand from her leg to the hair clip on his necklace, Lance stared down at the small gold piece of jewellery   
"Of course I do. This is the single most precious item I own in the world. It's more important to me than anything I ever own will be, because it tells me every single day that I have the most wonderful and supporting husband I could ask for. Even if we fight, or we aren't happy all the time, it's my good luck charm that says Keith will be there"  
Instead of "awwing", Annla made a wretching noise  
"Who cares about that? Keith, you better win or I'm never talking to you again"

Keith's heart was racing at Lance's pure love. No. They weren't happy all the time. They barely knew how to function together under one roof without accidentally setting each other off. Their marriage needed more work than he knew what to do with. They had twins on the way. Lance wasn't well mentally, and he was covering up all his anxieties over becoming a father by trying to love Lance extra hard. But that didn't matter, because his husband trusted in him. Shooting them a finger-gun with his left hand, Lance shot back double in his direction   
"I've got this!"  
"Hell yeah, you do! Pretend you're smacking Lotor over the head! Or the purple goo dispenser!"  
God. He loved his quiznakking idiot.

Keith's first swing was experimental, he managed to hit into the red lightly section leading the colour draining from vendors face. The first three lights were yellow, followed by three green, then four red, before finally the red light atop the stand  
"That's your black cat, babe!"  
Stating it out loud, he didn't move to swing again until the vendor moved his slimy arse to unhook the black cat mask. Not that he'd admit it, but there was a kind of blue wolf looking mask in the bottom down far corner that he was eyeing off, curious as to how Kosmo would react to it. So as long as his next hit landed the critical blow, he'd still be able to win the wolf. "Helping" Lance slide the black cat on, it was definitely more ugly than cute with its fat cheeks looking as if its mouth was full of those weird space chickens Kosmo got into. 

As Keith raised the mallet for the second swing, he felt the weight shift. The vendor's eyes sparkling with evil glee as the handle seemed to now weigh at least as much as Lance did when he was carrying up against his chest. Unfortunately for the vendor, he didn't know that that was a somewhat common occurrence of late. Just as he raised the mallet, the weight shifted back to the head. Grinding his teeth to keep his expression neutral, his thoughts didn't do to "Lotor" or to the "purple food goo", instead they went to how much he wished the landing sensor was Klearo's face. Swinging it down with all his might, the vendor jumped back as he snarled out his anger. The hit sending the lights up to where the red light flicked on with annoying screech. Pale and shaking with fear, the man was jittery as Annla directed him to the white cat mask, her glee obvious, while Lance sucked in his lips so he seemed more mature. Stuttering out to "just take the third and leave", Keith picked out his wolf mask, which Annla then had to help put in place. As they were leaving the vendor miraculously found a 100GAC coin, that he pushed on to Keith before retreating with possibly the weirdest walk Keith had ever seen. His legs dead straight as if he'd forgotten that knees and hips were an actual thing.

Barely able to keep it in, they'd only made it a few metres before Lance was laughing so hard he was crying, and Keith was lifting Annla off his husband's shoulders before she lost her balance. Catching his husband's eye, Keith couldn't hold down his own laughter. The man had totally had that lesson coming. He'd well and truly shattered his pride and then some without a single drop of blood split. Slowly their laughter died out, Annla frowning at the pair of them as she was a disapproving daughter embarrassed by her two idiot fathers. Doubling over as he grabbed his crotch, Lance was still laughing while looking pained   
"Babe?"  
"I really need to pee. I forgot that's where we were going"  
A little of Keith's dying laughter may have been directed his husband's way after being bitten when he'd needed to pee the previous day. Not a complete arsehole, Keith took Annla by the hand. He'd left the navigation to the pair of them, then like Lance, he'd forgotten the purpose of his journey  
"Do you know the way to the bathroom?"  
"Yep. Lance really needs to go. His tummy hurts"  
"Your stomach hurts?"  
Lance nodded  
"It's fine. It's not baby pain. It's "I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself pain". Totally worth it though. The look on his face. Do you think he'd take offence if I went back and beat him?"  
"Babe. You need the toilet. Let's focus on our mission first"  
"Yeah... yeah, that's probably for the best"

With lines being super long despite multiple toilets being available, Keith decided it was time to fake an emergency. "Propping" his husband up, Keith pushed their way through the front, apologising and claiming a Paladin emergency. For pop-up facilities, they were the nicest public toilets Keith had ever been. Between each person, there was a sterilise hot rinse, surfaces still steaming as he ushered Lance inside. His husband then rewarding his hard work by kicking him out while he peed. The woman who'd been waiting at the front of the queue was quick to pick a fight over him pushing in. Grabbing Annla by the hand, Keith pulled her back from around the side, smoothly lying that Lance was her bodyguard and checking for potential explosive devices before Annla used the facilities. That soon shut her up. Lance was already self-conscious about the time he spent in the bathroom as it was. Like fuck, he was letting some snooty cow ruin his husband's day.

*  
Nearly a varga had passed since leaving Daehra and Lucteal near the food vans. Lance was now wearing his jacket as he carried Annla on his shoulders, his husband having a difficult time with the smell of disinfectant in the toilet, so he'd zipped Keith's jacket all the way up to the top, not caring that the fabric of the collar sat just beneath his lips earning a few weird glances as they walked. In some strange way, Keith kind of did feel like a family with Lance and Annla by his side. Annla was so curious about everything, Lance was happy to entertain her, while Keith was happy watching the interactions between them. It also hadn't hurt that Lance had been adorable as he thanked him for winning their masks while Annla was in the toilet. His husband had refrained from kissing him due to vomit breath, but standing their arms looped loosely around each other's waists as his husband nosed at his neck had reassured him that whatever he was doing, he was doing it right. Though he wasn't sure what the whole bathroom thing was about so was saving that question for later when they were alone and he wasn't risking embarrassing Annla. Returning to the two siblings, Coran had found the pair. The Altea was talking animatedly as he waved his hands around. Before he could stop his husband, Lance was creeping up on Coran, scaring the quiznak out the man as he tapped him on the shoulder.

"Lance! That was mean!"  
Bopping Lance on the top of his head, Annla was unimpressed   
"Sorry, m' lady. Annla, this Coran. Coran is basically like the best space uncle you could ever ask for... I don't think you've met... Anyway. Coran, Annla was the one who tricked us into getting married... ow! That's it, Pidge is getting an upgrade. You're the new gremlin of the group"  
Pulling Lance's hair, Keith wasn't impressed with Annla's behaviour. Lance was clearly making a joke, and he worried that too much hair-pulling would send his husband into a panic attack. Lifting Annla off Lance's shoulders, Annla looked scandalised. Kneeling down, he looked her in the eye  
"Stop hurting my husband. You know better than to be hair pulling, especially when you should be able to feel his pain and discomfort. Now, this is Coran who is very important to Lance and I. Coran, this is Princess Annla. She's Lucteal and Daehra's younger sister. Now, say hello to Coran nicely"  
Annla still looked unhappy but curtsied as did as Keith asked, Coran, returning the curtsey with a bow, before continuing   
"Are you enjoying the festival?"  
"Keith won us masks and said we could go on the biggest rollercoaster"

Stepping closer to him, Lance slipped his arm around Keith's waist   
"Yep. You know, you should come with us. Daehra and Lucteal had the nerve to say I'm an awful pilot. Personally, I think that's exactly why they should come with us as punishment for being so rude. That is if you've got the time"  
"Oh, no. I wouldn't wish to interrupt. Daehra and Lucteal were informing me that you two are on a date?"  
"Coran, you went to so much effort to make all of this happen. I know you want things to run smoothly as it's in Allura's honour, but she would want you to have fun. Just like Lucteal and Daehra are going to go have fun because they shouldn't be sitting around like this. Allura wouldn't want you worried like this. Besides, Keith is on this "manly" streak, and I need witnesses for later bragging rights"  
Stomping on his husband's foot lightly, Lance gaped at him  
"You had it coming. You said I was "ugly cute", and now you want witnesses to my "manly streak". Plus, it was only lightly"  
"I want witnesses because I'm proud of you, moron"  
Not for the first time that day, Keith was blushing  
"Then just say you're proud of me!"  
"I am! And you're hot! You know I think you're hot"  
"You compared me to a fat cat!"  
"Fat cats are awesome! And, what I said was you "like pats and naps""  
Dropping to a whisper yell, their four friends seemed worried. It wasn't like they were actually fighting. Keith's pride was strong enough to survive being compared to a cat.  
"I like cuddling with my husband!"  
"I like cuddling my husband too! You fit into my arms perfectly"  
"Yeah. Well. So do you"  
"And I like your mask. It makes me miss our son"  
Keith had his mask on sideways so it covered his right ear. The half-Galra wearing his the same was as Lance and Annla were  
"I'm curious what he's going to think"  
"That his father is an idiot?"  
"Probably. Do you want to go find that roller coaster now? Has your stomach settled? Do you think it was the ice cream? You said you were going to stick to the ration bars"  
"I had a sudden craving for it while thinking about what would be good to eat under this heat. It's settled down. I could take a nap though"  
"My poor old man"  
Cocking his head, Lance scrunched his forehead up  
"Will you still love me when I'm old? And all wrinkly?"  
"You're already wrinkly enough. Tell me if you need a break?"  
"I will. You ready?"  
"Always. Come on, Coran. Lance is right. You need some fun too. Plus, it's gotta be better than his piloting skills"  
"You all fu-... freakin' suck. Coran, help?"  
"Well, there was that one time..."  
Throwing his hands up in the air, Lance started to stalk away  
"I'm hurt, guys! I'm actually, factually, hurt!"

Doing the biggest roller coaster of there, Coran's screams we're the same as Annla's as the pair death gripped their harnesses. Annla throwing up mid loop and mid-scream, yet somehow Coran managed to escape unscathed despite sitting next to her. Both Lance and Keith escaping unscathed, Lance keeping it down until they were off the ride, then rushing to the closest bin to throw up. Coran taking care of Lance, as Annla threw her arms around Keith, crying her heart out as she apologised for being sick. Thinking Coran had Lance covered, Keith squatted down to check out Annla's dress, treating the princess like he would Lance as he reassured her it alright. For the most part, she seemed clean. She had vomit smeared across her cheek and ear, but her dress, arms and hair had escaped the mess. With a little bit of water, it'd all wash away. Standing up to ask Coran for directions to where he could Annla cleaned up, Keith found Lance gagging alone. Scooping Annla onto his hip, Keith carried her over to Lance. Trying to soothe both of them as he mentally cursed Coran for disappearing on them. He was just about to start cursing out loud when Krystaal crossed their path on his rounds. Desperate for help, it was relieving to find a friend in all the chaos. Calling him over, Keith sent him off to find water for both Annla and Lance, deciding on the spot that rides were banned for the rest of the day. There were still plenty of games and vendors to explore. Annla had gotten her wish of riding the biggest ride available. They'd done other rides. Lance's stomach was probably feeling scrambling, and the last thing Keith wanted was scrambled twins. The sign said "no pregnant people", still he'd let Lance have his way given that the only real danger was a sudden stop. He couldn't blame Annla, but he could feel completely overwhelmed over not being able to help.

Krystaal and Coran arrived at the same time. Keith's annoyance with Coran lessening as Coran explained he'd fold Lance he would fetch some water. His husband was unable to pass the message on. Getting them both cleaned up, Annla ended up in Coran's arms. Coran's eyes filled with a deep melancholy sadness, Keith easily able to imagine the number of times he must have carried Allura around in such a manner. She even seemed scared when Krystaal got too close. He knew not all Galra were purple, but Annla hadn't been around enough to get the idea of "purple skin" being evil from her mind. He hated seeing the look of hurt of Krystaal's face, especially when all he'd done was help and was now being rejected for no reason. He was lucky enough to look human, and extra lucky that Krystaal's scent and appearance didn't trigger Lance in his weakened state. Making the decision for the group, Keith cuddled his husband close as he announced they'd be taking the afternoon slow. His goal was to slowly wind up near the palace so he could convince Lance to take a nap. The only thing exciting happening that night were the fireworks which had been scheduled for the first and last night of the movement long festival.

Not listening to him, his husband was a stubborn shit. Lance wanted to play everything from the ring toss to the balls and clowns. Some with more finesse than others. His husband was told off for leaning too far forward during the ring toss, it was a kids game and the woman was all about "following the rules" and "no height advantages". Lance still won, even playing fair. Choosing a white fluffy thing that he could only call a "space rabbit", Lance hugged it tightly as Annla scolded him for his bad taste, then asked Keith to win her the stuffed camel looking thing which was horrendously ugly. With nothing slipping past his husband, Lance was soon declaring it a challenge in both games and who could find the best vendor food, Coran dragged into their competition as the referee.

Narrowly beating his husband at the knife toss, Lance whooped his arse at the shooting games, of which there were far more. His husband didn't seem to need an initial practice shot as he adjusted for the tampering and crooked barrels of the old school style guns. His eyes narrowed, breathing even, as he oozed confidence. Out of everything, his second win was another one of his rabbits, followed by small toys for Annla, and a few kids who were awed by his skills, his second-biggest win being for Coran which some stuffed slug looking thing he seemed especially keen on. Keith hadn't thought Coran would be into stuff toys, yet proudly carried his slug around as if he'd won the damn thing. Over the following few vargas their popularity dropping with the vendor holders upon learning they used to be Paladins... due to Pidge and Hunk having made a clean sweep through the area. Pidge he could picture, Hunk... Hunk was a little harder, though when Lance mentioned he was probably trying hard to impressed Shay, Keith could see it. It was just like how he wanted to impress Lance. He wanted to feel Lance's eyes on him as he won. He wanted him to find him desirable in ways other than the support he offered. Most of all, he wanted to show Lance how strong he was. That he could handle himself no matter the mission, and that if they were separated due to work, he had a wide array of skills that would ensure his survival. Their rivalry was ultimately brought to an end by Lance's yawning, his husband trying to rub at his sleepy eyes as he carried his prize winnings including a stuffed version of Red, that Lance won by beating him at a shooting game where the aim was to hit 20 moving bullseyes in a dobosh. Keith got an impressive 16. Lance passed 20, winning a toy from the top rack of stuffed animals. He didn't know why Lance would want a stuffed version Red, what with his time in Voltron still tinged with bitterness, but didn't question it in front of Annla who worshipped Voltron, and Coran who was seeing far too much of Allura in Annla. Following the vendor rows to the palace, Coran caught onto what Keith was up to as he promised to return Annla to Daehra and Lucteal while Lance napped.

Leaning heavily on each other, they nearly tripped over each other's feet as they stumbled into their room. Staggering over to the bed, they both collapsed face first, Lance laughing as they landed on their prizes ungracefully. Rolling onto his back, Lance turned his head towards Keith, spluttering as he inhaled some of the fur off the white rabbit  
"You know those rabbits are ugly"  
"They're ugly cute..."  
Nope. Not this again. Grabbing Lance's stuffed toys, Keith threw them over to the other side of the bed  
"I don't know why you needed two of them"  
"For the twins... and Red for you... I miss him"  
Red was for him?   
"I miss him too... and the rabbits are for the twins?"  
Yawning, Lance rolled back to face him  
"Mhmm. When we're old I can tell them about our date. It was a good date"  
Wriggling closer to Lance, Keith smiled softly at his husband  
"Yeah. It was. Are you ok with us not being alone? I mean, it was kind of a..."  
"Shhh. Don't ruin it. It was a good day. You did a really good job with Annla"  
Keith wasn't sure he had. Propping himself with his elbow, he poked at his husband's chest with his left pointer finger  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"My scalp still hurts... I thought I was going to panic when she kept pulling, but you scolded her when she needed it... you're going to be a good dad"  
"Why didn't you?"  
"Because I didn't know the words at the time. I didn't want to make a scene... I still had a lot of fun"  
Reaching out, Keith pulled the mask off the side of Lance's head, before doing the same with his own  
"I'm glad. I was wondering... with how much you threw up. I thought you'd be exhausted"  
Lance groaned at him   
"I am. I'm so beyond tired. I've been ready for a nap since we left this morning"  
"Idiot, why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because I wanted to have a good day. Now I'm going to have an awesome nap before the fireworks tonight"  
Keith's lips turned downwards. His husband had had such a long day as it was. He was still recovering  
"You want to go?"  
"With you... I wanna see all the bright colours with you. Plus, we didn't try the fairy floss"  
Snorting at Lance, Keith made a dramatic show of rolling towards his husband and looping his arm around him loosely  
"I thought you had a plan. What happened to that?"  
"I did... you do sugar midmorning for the energy, then savoury for lunch, and sugar again mid-afternoon. That way you don't end up feeling gross from too much sugar... and the kids run it off before hitting their low on the drive home. You don't have a big family without learning a thing or two"  
"Wow... you did have a plan"  
Lance tapped the side of his nose  
"Mami and papi know a thing or two... are you ready to nap? Or do you want to shower first? I don't feel very sexy anymore... I think Annla got ice cream in my hair"  
Keith nodded, his hand stopping to hover near Lance's hair before he slowly lowered it down. Lance's brown sweaty locks were sticky, and now he was concentrating on it, he could smell off milk  
"Yeah. Would a bath be better? It'd get you off your feet"  
"That actually sounds amazing. Can you little spoon with me... really just wanna hold my husband"  
Lance sounded mildly surprised as if Keith didn't frequently have good ideas   
"How am I supposed to wash your hair if I'm the little spoon?"  
Lance frowned deeply, face wrinkled with confusion   
"You... can't? I wanna cuddle you"  
"How about, I cuddle you in the bath, then you cuddle me in bed?"  
Relief flooded Lance's face, far too much relief. His husband really must have been mentally struggling with working the problem out  
"Look at you. You're so smart... and handsome. Very handsome... And so strong. Quiznak. I wish we'd filmed the look on that vendor's face as he rushed to get rid of us"  
"That was pretty funny"  
"It was... ugh... I think I'm stuck here"  
Moving his hand up from where he was stroking his husband's side softly to cupping Lance's right cheek, he rubbed at the skin gently   
"If you want me to carry you, that's all you have to say"  
"I like it when you hold me... when it's just us... I don't want people thinking I'm weak"  
"Baby, you're not weak. Here, let's take a bath"  
"Thank you... I love you, and I loved today"  
"I did too, babe. I did too"


	14. Chapter 14

Watching the fireworks with Keith was the perfecting ending to their day. Keith had woken him in a panic over Annla disappearing. Having gone overboard with the spicy food in a bid to beat his husband when it came to vendor food, Lance kept an arm wrapped protectively around his tender stomach as they'd rushed to get ready then headed out to find Annla. All of their initial panic for nothing when they found a dozing Annla in one of the corridors that led to their room in the palace. Crouching down, Keith shook the small princess's shoulder softly. Her black eyes fluttering open as she reached up for Keith to lift her. The scene melted Lance's heart. How could Keith possibly think he'd be a terrible father? He'd been amazing with Annla all day. Lance especially proud of the way he hadn't lost his temper with her over the small things she did wrong, like her jealousy over meeting Coran who'd they'd both been happy to see. Annla was still growing into the person she'd be. The constant onslaught of festival-goer emotions and thoughts would have been exhausting for her, in addition to the fact that now Daehra wasn't there to be her constant companion back on their home planet, she was probably feeling lonely and neglected. Sending Daehra a quick message to meet them at the Ferris wheel because they'd found Annla, Lance gathered up the princesses things before following his husband.

Rendezvousing with Daehra and Lucteal, Annla only roused when she was moved into Lucteal's hold instead. Lucteal was another man who'd make a great father. He hadn't kicked up a fuss over Lance being pregnant, despite how strong his feeling had been for him. He'd also come to accept Keith, despite criticising the fact that Keith was never at the outpost like he should be. That's why he'd expected more from Lucteal over the pregnancy, as despite their mutual "friendship", Lucteal had been feeling that Keith had pretty much abandoned Lance there. Not that Lance's mental state hadn't exactly said pretty much the same thing. Daehra and Lucteal were the only two there for him as withdrawal kicked his arse ten ways to Sunday. He'd been able to spend quality time with Lucteal as they'd both healed on Erathus. Throwing out an invitation to watch the fireworks with the group, Lance wasn't being completely honest. He wanted to spend the night watching them alone with Keith. Together the group decided to watch them from the Ferris wheel, what wasn't supposed to be open due to the height and something about health and safety, until Keith slipped the man a wad of GAC, and asked for half a varga up the top. Splitting into two groups, Lance and Keith wound up alone in a passenger car together, the glass becoming mirror-like, blocking out the view into the other car where their friends were. 

Alone together, Lance felt like he and his husband were the only people in the world. Drawing Keith down onto the floor of the car, the glass door ensured they wouldn't miss the fireworks when they started, but for now, he had some fireworks of their own in mind. Straddling his husband's lap, Lance ran his hands up Keith's chest, pushing up his husband's shirt to reveal Keith's pale toned chest. He loved Keith's body. He loved the feeling of Keith's warm body soft beneath his hands   
"Babe?"  
Humming, Lance leaned down to kiss Keith. Rolling his hips suggestively as he deepened the kiss until Keith finally started getting the message. Gripping his hips, Keith tried to roll them, only there wasn't that much space and the kiss broke when Lance knocked his head on the seat  
"Fuck! Shit... babe, are you ok?"

Laughing softly at his husband, Lance couldn't think it was so like them. Sure, it hurt, but he'd barely knocked it before he was laughing   
"I'm fine... I'm fine... it's uh, a bit cramped in here"  
"What were you thinking? Are you sure you're alright"  
Rolling his eyes at Keith, Lance drew him into his hold as he wound up with Keith half in his arms and half squashed against the chair on the other side  
"Babe... I was trying to make out with you. I'm already brain-damaged, so I don't think there's much left in there to damage"  
"I thought you wanted to watch the fireworks"  
He did. But after such a great date, and the breaking of the promise to continue what they'd started in the shower, he wanted to spend some time pampering Keith   
"Oh, babe... oh, Keith. You're really too sweet and innocent some times. I wanted to make out with you, blow your mind, then cuddle for the fireworks"  
His intentions went straight over Keith's pretty little head. His husband nosing against his chest as he looped his leg over Lance's waist, his free arm going under Lance's head. Assuming his cuddly octopus pose, Lance was stuck in Keith's loving hold  
"You don't have to blow my mind... you're always blowing my mind. You're some kind of incredible, you know that right?"  
"Babe. Your dick. I was going to suck your dick"

Making a squeaking noise, Keith's head shot up before he started coughing. His husband was unappreciative of Lance's laughing. He'd expected some hard blushing and stuttering, not for Keith to choke on his "squeak". Waiting for his husband to recover, the moment was kind of ruined. Lance sliding up off the floor to sit and stared at his own reflection. Regaining control of his breathing, Keith climbed off the floor to sit behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist as he rested his chin on Lance's shoulder  
"Sorry...?"  
Keith clearly didn't know what to say  
"You don't need to say sorry"  
"Babe... you have to admit, it was kind of unexpected"  
"Was it?"  
Keith pulled back, Lance knew he was having the struggles to work things out. His husband's tone dripped with confusion  
"Yes? I mean... you said making out?"  
"Never mind. It was stupid. I was stupid"  
"You're not stupid. I'm allowed to be confused. Where did that come from?"  
"What? Me wanting to touch my husband?"  
"There's a difference between wanting to suck my dick, and making out. I mean, I'm not going to say no... I'm just confused as to how we got there"  
"Because...! Because I wanted to"

Lance was sure he was about a heartbeat away from dying of shame. Wasn't fooling around what people did in Ferris wheels!? He was no expert on Ferris wheel etiquette, but they were alone. They'd had an amazing day. An amazing nap. He wanted to fool around and have some fun with his husband, instead, he'd made a fool of himself. He'd only given Keith one successful blow job that he could think of... Whereas his husband had made come three times that morning...

"Babe..."  
"It doesn't matter"  
"Look, you don't need to be embarrassed. Just talk to me, please"  
Sighing, Lance let Keith force him to face him. His husband had that stupid worried look on his face, giving him no choice but to talk   
"I... I was you know... thinking I wanted to do something nice for you"  
His heart couldn't take it. His lap incredibly interesting when compared to Keith's concerned expression  
"What? Why do you think you need to do something nice for me? And why a blow job?"  
"Because!"  
"Because why? I know you don't like giving head"  
"That's why! We had an amazing day, Keith. It was nearly perfect. And it was nearly perfect because it was with you. Like the ice creams. You got both flavours. You won those masks and that camel Annla wanted. It was... if I hadn't been sick it would be the most perfect date I could ask for... so I wanted to do something for you. Something only I can do... so I wanted to make you feel good..."  
As his stupid eyes filled with stupid tears, Keith gathered him up and into his lap  
"You're an idiot. Babe. I'm not with you for the things you do for me. I'm with you because you love me. What you said about your hair clip, that... that made me so fucking happy. I don't care that you're not up to giving head yet. I don't care if you can't ever give me head. I love you. Being with you, that's what I want and need"  
"But... we... you made me come so fucking hard this morning... and said you wanted me to you know, ride your face..."  
Keith groaned at him  
"Did you not think I enjoyed myself because I only came once? Babe, you're fucking hot as hell. I love watching you fall apart when I touch you"  
That wasn't solving Lance's issue. Keith was fucking hot when he let himself go. When he wasn't worrying about treating Lance like a glass treasure. He'd told his husband a hundred times he'd tell him if it ever got too much and each time it did, even when simply kissing, Keith would pull back  
"Don't you think maybe I want that too? To touch my husband? I want to do the stupid things couples do. I want to be happy with you. To do these stupid things before our babies come... I thought maybe you'd be ok with it... not that I'd be interrogated for wanting to touch you"  
"I want to do all that with you too. You know you don't have to try hard to make me happy"  
"You were showing off today... I know you were... if I don't have to try so hard, neither do you"

Raising his hand, Keith scratched the back of his head   
"You noticed?"  
"Of course I noticed. You're my husband"  
"I was... I wanted you to be proud... and I wanted you to see that I haven't gotten sloppy"  
"Your show was to what? Teach me you can still kick arse? I would hope so"  
"Are you trying to be funny?"  
How was he being funny? Keith was skilled. That's why Krolia was working him so hard. It was hardly astrophysics   
"Babe, your mother is training you to take over Daibazaal. You're training the next bunch of recruits. The next generation of Blades. You kind of need your skills. Not that I didn't appreciate the show. I was prepared to show you how much I appreciated my big strong husband, and now we're stuck in this loop"

A long moment passed, then a second. Keith sending a shiver running up his spine as he whispered in his ear  
"Hey, Lance. Do you want to fool around in here?"  
Arching an eyebrow at Keith, Lance was momentarily struck dumb. The mood wasn't what it was. Keith had basically made him question if he was desirable enough for his husband... and now, now he was getting it. His husband was like a big dumb puppy  
"Sure... do you want to try..."  
"Babe, is it ok if we try something different..."  
Talking over the second half his sentence, Lance tilted his head to scowl at his husband   
"Do you not like letting me speak?"  
"It's not... but I've got an idea..."

Sixtynining in a Ferris wheel cart was possible. There was zero pressure on his shoulders or head. Keith didn't care that he was kind of terrible at giving head, hesitant over having not much technique, and stuttering in his performance when Keith's lips slid over his dick. Feeling his own pleasure starting to rise, the gross feeling in his stomach lessened as his body had something else to focus on. Not wanting to come first, Lance closed his eyes, letting himself throw himself completely into his task. The pressure on his lips felt weird and kind of gross, but Keith's natural musky scent soothed his panic, his husband's muffled moans spurring him on as he brought Keith to orgasm before finally letting his own roll through him. Keith's warm wet mouth leaving him wondering if it felt as amazing for his husband each time they had sex. Keith had brought up the idea of switching, but Lance had no confidence in being the one doing the fucking. He wasn't even sure he was that great in bed, despite all the love and praise Keith showered him in. Sex between them was becoming a normal thing. He felt proud of himself for not having melted down during their date, and having been able to be "normal" all day for his husband. With minimal cleanup, Keith took control as he cleaned the wetness between his thighs with his tongue before insisting on helping Lance pull his pants back on properly. Settling down against the glass wall opposite the door, his husband wrapped his arms around him, kissing at his neck as Lance let him take his weight. While they'd been fooling around the Ferris wheel had finally come to a stop.

Cuddled into his husband as they watched the glass change back to see through due to dazzling firework show. Lance honestly felt content and very much loved. Keith's fingers finding his as the interlace them, resting them lightly on his tiny belly. His husband was incredible. He knew just how to comfort him, without making a scene over the fact he wouldn't have been able to handle Keith's hand or fingers on his hair. He didn't even have to tell him, it was like Keith had read his mind about his lasting jitters. Though, it was entirely possible Keith was simply being extra careful out of gratitude for not biting his dick off or slitting his throat. Today had been so perfect that he didn't want it to ever end.

*  
Taking an over-excited paw to the face, Keith was initially confused as to why he was under attack until there was an excited "yip" followed by their blankets disappearing off their bed. Sleepily stumbling off their bed, he was forced to play an impromptu game of chasey with Kosmo. Lance didn't deserve this. Husband had only fallen asleep a couple of vargas earlier, Keith evicted from the bathroom somewhere around midnight, so when Lance wasn't there at dawn, he'd found his husband still hunched over the toilet without the energy to move. Keith wasn't sure how his husband didn't hate him for the countless hours he'd spent throwing up.

"Keeeith... cold..."

Distracted by Lance whimpering as he curled around Keith's pillow, Kosmo looked to his second father. Lunging at his wolf, Keith pulled the blankets from his hold   
"Enough. Sit there and reconsider your life actions"  
Carrying their blankets back over to their bed, Keith sort of tried to flick them out nice and smooth, before giving up in favour simply making sure Lance was covered. Kissing his husband's cheek, Lance was shaking as if he'd been thrown into an ice bath  
"Babe, mum's here. Kosmo stole the blankets"  
Mumbling sleepily, Lance scrunched his eyes closed tighter   
"Mum?"  
Krolia was "mum", but Lance seemed too asleep to tell the difference between "mum" and "mami"  
"Krolia. She's got Kosmo with her. He stole the blankets..."  
Lance let out a grunt for no apparent reason until he continued his mumbling  
"I don't think I can get up"  
Oh. Lance had thought he'd moved... He hadn't. Not in the slightest   
"Babe, you don't need to"  
"'m tired... can I have Kosmo cuddles?"  
"You don't want my cuddles?"  
"You gotta see your mum... 'm sleep"  
Kissing Lance's cheek again, Keith laid himself out beside his husband, tapping the space behind Lance summoning Kosmo up behind him. Placing both paws on Lance's hip, Kosmo yipped happily before yawning and dropping his head down between both paws  
"You're "cute", not "sleep""  
"Sleep"  
"I can stay..."  
"No. Go see mum... I sleep"  
"Alright. I'll set you an alarm for later, you have to make sure you have something to eat and drink... and you've already fallen back to sleep"  
Keith couldn't be mad. Lance was exhausted and beyond adorable as he slept. Stealing himself a kiss, Keith then sat up to gaze sternly at his wolf  
"No funny business. No stealing blankets or waking him up. He needs his sleep. No playing games, and no panicking if he vomits"  
Kosmo gave him a bored yawn before huffing and closing his eyes. It seemed to him that the dopey animal hadn't missed him at all. Stupid traitor. As long as someone was giving him pats and treats, he'd happily trot off with anyone. Unless it was Lance. He'd formed a deep bond with his second father, so leaving Kosmo with Lance, he knew Kosmo would keep him safe. With the way Kosmo was acting with Lance, Keith wouldn't be surprised if Kosmo could smell Lance's pregnancy. He seemed to pick up Lance's moods without verbal trigger signs.

Showering and dressing, Keith didn't feel right leaving Lance. While he'd been in the bathroom, Kosmo had smoothly stolen his spot in their bed. Lance curled into him with his head resting on Kosmo's shoulder as they both snored. Grabbing his comms up, he shot a couple of photos of the pair, unable to be angry with either of them. The move was going to be a lot for Lance, especially when they move to being on standby on Daibazaal. His husband was terrible at sitting still, and once on Daibazaal, the number of tasks he'd be performing daily would drop to next to nothing, other than the training missions his mother had already organised. Keith intended to fulfil his obligations as "Recruit Trainer", but once Lance's pregnancy progressed past 20 weeks, he'd be stepping down entirely. He had no idea where Lance wanted to live. He had no idea where he wanted to raise their twins. If Lance wanted to stay at the outpost... he wasn't entirely sure he could support it. It was a clear risk to Lance and their children, and between two newborns and an outpost to run, he didn't think they'd be able to give enough commitment to either. It wasn't a conversation he was looking for to having. Lance could be far too stubborn about things. They still needed to have a proper conversation over Lance taking his medication, but on the heels of their date the previous day, he didn't want to bring Lance down back to reality. He wanted his husband to be happy... if he could make Lance happy, then maybe he'd be more open to seeing reason over his medication.

Triple checking Lance had food and water, Keith nearly doubled back into their bedroom the moment he stepped out the room. Lance had told him to go, but his heart wasn't in it. He didn't know what to tell his mother. He didn't know what to tell her over Lance, and what would be overstepping. He couldn't mention the pregnancy, nor did he know how to tell her that he felt he'd abandoned Lance by leaving him to continue his life alone. Not at all what he wanted for his marriage. He was completely serious about making things work, but he didn't want to sound as if he was placing all the blame on Lance, when he was just as, if not more, responsible over how things had played out. His personal promise to preserve Lance's happiness instead ended with his husband suicidal and thinking Keith was leaving.

Trudging from the palace, Keith dragged his feet. The day was just as bright and crisp as the day before. Lazily clouds floated across the clear blue, the sun carrying a little more bite than the previous day, but the refreshing breeze ensured the day wouldn't be too uncomfortably hot. Knowing his mother was already somewhere at the festival, Keith decided not to call ahead. She'd find him easier than he'd find her, provided she wanted him to find him in the first place. If she'd really wanted to, she simply could have called, or asked Coran. Actually, there were many numbers of ways she could have tracked him down, now that he thought of it. Kosmo being easiest. His wolf would have tracked their scents to find his way to their room. All Krolia would have had to do then was hold onto his fur, though, on second thought, he had no idea if teleporting would cause pregnancy complications and that was the last thing he wanted for his mother. She was so happy to be having this baby... She was making a real family with Kolivan... with a baby, she wouldn't be leaving behind. Keith's steps faltered, now the thought was in his brain, he could feel his abandonment issues trying to rear their ugly head's. His mother loved him. She loved and she'd had no choice but to leave him and his father behind... but if she'd never left, he... no. No. Nope. He wasn't going to go there. She'd left because she had to. They were reunited, and he was going to be a big brother. That was what he should be focusing on... instead of being jealous of a child that was still yet to be born. A child that would be raised with Krolia's unending love and comforting presence through the highs and lows. He had Lance now. Lance who was the salve to his wounded soul. Lance whose heart he'd broken, and their twins whose first scan he'd missed. I was a failure as a big brother. A failure as a little brother. A failure as a husband. And a failure as a his husband. Shoving his hands deeper into his pockets, Keith's outlook on the day flipped entirely. The sun was obnoxiously bright. The clouds were obnoxiously white. The breeze could go fuck its self. And his pity party was fucking pathetic. Things had never been better for him... so why was he so discontent?

Finding that people were less likely to approach him if he faked a little "purpose" in his stride, Shay was the first person he found that didn't piss him off insight. Leaning against the railing of what looked some nerd arena, Keith figured it'd be the polite thing to stop off and say hi. Moving to stand by her, Shay smiled warmly at him   
"Good morning, Keith. Enjoying the festival?"  
If Shay wasn't noticing his stinking bad mood, then that was a start. He knew the moment his mother set eyes on him   
"Yeah. It's bigger than I thought it would be. What's going on here?"  
"Pidge and Hunk had a disagreement over coding. They've entered a competition to create a light display"  
That sounded boring as hell, and right up their alley... and potentially dangerous  
"Do they get to create any display? Or do they have a target?"  
"There is a display. Based on last night's fireworks. Did you see them? They were breathtaking"

Not as breathtaking as Lance. His husband was the most breathtaking thing in existence. Him on his hands and knees... his wet mouth around Keith's taunt dick... the stubborn denial of his own pleasure as his honied lips slid up and down his shaft.

"Yeah, they weren't bad at all. Lance and I watched them from the Ferris wheel"  
Shay shuffled at Lance's name, Keith jumping to the wrong conclusion as his guard flew up  
"Is there something wrong with that?"  
The defensive tone caused Shay to widen her eyes as she waved her hands  
"No! No, not at all. I... uh... I was wondering how he was doing, but I did not wish to overstep"  
Oh shit. Shay was nice by nature. Of course, she didn't mean anything by it. Plus the last time she saw Lance, Lance had blown up   
"Fuck... I'm sorry, Shay. Yeah. He's alright. He ate way too much sugar, so he's still sleeping it off. We spent yesterday with the princess who wed us, as well as Daehra and Lucteal"  
"I saw you yesterday, Lance did seem happy"  
"Yeah. Yeah, he was. The girl with the blue hair, her name's Annla. She's Daehra and Lucteal's little sister. Her planet was hit hard by the Galra, leaving it pretty much sand and caves. Her coming was a surprise for both of us, but Lance seemed happy enough"  
"Hunk wanted to approach you..."  
Shay looked to her engagement cuff, playing with the thick band  
"Lance isn't mad at Hunk, or anyone really. Maybe Veronica, only because she forced him. He doesn't want to talk about it"  
"He made that much clear. I'm afraid I don't understand what he suffers with"  
"He doesn't so much "suffer," as he has a "condition" that causes him to lose control of his body. He's still Lance. The same dork that flew the Blue Lion when you met him"  
Shay perked up. She seemed almost hopeful   
"It's not a serious condition?"  
"Oh... it can be...? It really depends. Seizures leave him exhausted. And it depends on where they happen, Lance could hurt himself depending on how he falls and what he lands on. Kosmo is with him now. He's good at reading Lance"

Shay deflated, Keith, feeling bad as she did. She was trying her hardest to understand what her friend was going through, without pushing or interfering in Lance's life. Not wanting to leave her feeling down, he pushed a smile to his lips and continued  
"We have a lot to work out and get through, but he's tough. It doesn't stop him from doing what he wants to do, or prevent him from being the idiot he is. Just treat him like you always do. I know it's weighing on him over him blowing up when you were discussing your wedding plans. He's excited for both you and Hunk"  
"Thank you, Keith. I'll talk to Hunk. I know he wishes he and Lance could reclaim the closeness they once shared"

That would be impossible. Lance was still deeply hurt over being basically abandoned when they were still living on the castle. He might be making the effort, yet Keith was certain that if conversation between them fell into a lull, Lance wouldn't be able to keep trying. He was friends with them, but his walls were high. His trust poorly reconstructed with staples and sticky tape, unable to stand the harsh weather that even the slightest form estrangement would bring. What Lance really needed was prolonged and quality time with his old friends to iron out those fault lines and find a new way to proper and real friendship again. They'd all grown, and like any relationship in life, time and distance caused cracks.

"It's hard with work. I know Lance would appreciate it... Maybe once he's settled on Daibazaal you could come visit? I could show you around the place"  
Shay gave a nod, Keith knowing the words he'd carefully chosen had become a promise rather than an invitation   
"That would be nice. I would value his input on the wedding. Hunk insists it's all alright, but I still don't understand your Earth customs"  
Keith gave a snort  
"No one understands Earth customs. We all fake it and make it up as we go along. Lance loves parties though, so I'm sure he'll have plenty of ideas. I better get going, Krolia is around here somewhere, and I have no idea where"  
"I haven't seen her, but I will let her know you're looking for her if I do. It's was nice talking to you, Keith"  
"You too, Shay. I'll see you later"

Back to wandering almost aimlessly through the crowds of festival-goers, each stall he passed reminded of the previous day with Lance. Embracing their old "rivalry" had been fun. His ego didn't even care when his husband kicked his arse. It only made him love Lance even more. Scanning the crowds, he didn't know where to begin looking for a pregnant Galra. Most of the rides his mother wouldn't be able to go on in her condition, which kind of left the stage performances and food. Food was out for Lance. His pregnancy didn't appreciate much of everything when it came to scents, but his mother was further along. Maybe he'd find her there? But what did he say when he did? Still mulling over his dilemma, he nearly jumped out his skin when a soft hand landed on his shoulder. Whirling around, Acxa, Krystaal, Veronica and his mother were standing behind him. Keith blinded momentarily by a bright flash that was followed by Acxa's laughing. Realising he'd been blinded by the flash of a vintage camera, Keith crossed his arms as he tried not to let his upset or annoyance show  
"Real mature guys"  
"I'm sorry. You were looking so grumpy, I egged Acxa on"  
Rolling his eyes at his mother, he was certain Krolia wasn't sorry at all  
"Whatever. Where were you? I've been looking for you since Kosmo teleported in and stole my blankets"

Waving her stick of fairyfloss, his mother ended up pointing at Krystaal. His mother was very clearly pregnant, the swell of her stomach practically a neon sign now that he knew of the pregnancy. He really must have had his heads up in the clouds for not having noticed sooner  
"I ran into Krystaal, who at least was polite enough to pretend he was happy to see me. Where's my other son?"  
"Lance is still sleeping back in our room. We... uh, had a late-night"  
Veronica frowned at him, while Krolia laughed. Keith's cheeks reddening as he knew what she was going to say before she did  
"I hope you're going easy on him. He has been sick"  
"I know how to take care of my husband!"  
Snapping at his mother, Krolia's happiness morphed into concern. Great. He'd quiznakked that one up  
"Sorry. Like I said, we had a late night. He was so hyped from the carnival it took a while to get to sleep"  
She wasn't buying it  
"Sorry, I think my idiot son and I need to have a talk. Thanks for the fairy floss Krystaal. And Acxa, don't forget you have the whole movement off. Make sure you spend some quality time with Veronica. I have your next training planet picked already. And you..."  
Reaching out, his mother grabbed him by the ear, starting to drag him away from the group  
"You have some explaining to do"

Towed away by his mother, Krolia didn't release her hold until they were a significant distance from the other. His ear smarting from her tight grip. Angrily rubbing the spot, he didn't see what he'd done to warrant that. So much for the recruits respecting him, thought Krystaal was more a friend than simply a new recruit   
"Spill"  
"Spill what?"  
"You. What's with the mood? Did you and Lance fight?"  
"Sheesh. No. We're fine"  
"Keith. You're not fine. What's going on? I've heard that Lance had a seizure. Is he ok? Is he ok being left alone?"  
Why was it always about Lance? Shay wanted to know about Lance. His mother wanted to see Lance more than him. And sure, she'd asked if he was ok, but only because she thought him stressing over his husband   
"Lance is fine"  
"Well, that's ok then. Now, what's the mood about? You don't look happy"  
"It's nothing. I'm fine"  
Shit. He'd been spending too much time with Lance. He sounded just like him  
"Keith. I'm your mother. Talk to me"  
"It's nothing"  
Gazing at him her patented "mum" look, Krolia then proceeded to shove her fairy floss at his mouth until he was forced to open it. Wrinkling his nose at the unwanted influx of dyed sugar, it took all the had to hold his temper as he pulled the stick away rather than slapping it out her hands  
"What was that for!?"  
"Because you won't talk to me"  
"I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you!"  
His mother didn't look surprised when he snapped this time. Calmly she tore a length of fairy floss free, leaving her right eyebrow raised until he crumbled  
"I don't know what to tell you, but I'm quitting working for you. I know I'm supposed to be training the recruits but I'm sick of it. I'm sick to death of it. Lance isn't fucking fine. He wanted to die, mum. He wanted to die because he thought I didn't love him anymore. You keep sending me on missions and according to Shiro, I have no fucking clue how to look after my husband. I don't. I don't know what I'm doing. He's supposed to take all these pills to help with his seizures. How did you even know he had a seizure? He doesn't want everyone knowing, though it's probably too late for that if you know"  
Keith's words fell in a jumbled mush as he tried to get everything out in one breath. Taking a deep breath, he let himself drop back to lean against the light pole behind him  
"I don't know what I'm doing mum. I don't know how to be married. I'm never there when he needs me. And he does... but... I keep trying to show him I love him and that's not making it better. So I don't know what to do. Because I do love him. And he says I should be there for you, but I'm... I can't do this anymore"  
"You can't do training, or you can't do Lance?"  
Keith's heart skipped an uncomfortable beat. He had Lance and their twins to think of. His mother was carrying his replacement. All of a sudden it felt like too much. His chest tightened as he struggled to take a breath. Dropping her fairy floss, Krolia took his face in her hands  
"Keith, breath for me"  
He was trying. In through the nose. Hold. Out through the mouth. He knew it a million and one times over. All the times he'd talked Lance through the same thing. And now...   
"I love him..."  
Tears welled in his eyes. The "but" didn't need to be said given he'd already stated it  
"Then we can work the rest out. Focus on your breathing"  
When the sob bubbled up from his throat, he sucked down a breath   
"I don't know what to do. He won't take his medication. He's absolutely exhausted. He wants to come train recruits with me, but I'm worried about his health. He's going to be mad at me for talking to you about it, but Shiro... says I'm not doing it right. I thought if he was happy, then... then maybe he'd be more open to taking his medication... but now I don't know..."  
"Keith, Lance is a grown man. Lance is your husband. You've been the one there for him, not Shiro. You know what works with him"  
"Do I? Because I seem to have missed a hell of a lot not being there! 7 phoebs... it's been 7 phoebs for him. How much is he keeping hidden as he pretends to be happy?"  
"7 phoebs? It's been 5 since New Years"  
"Time works differently there. It's been 7 for him. Or about 7. He's been off running around his sector in space, not caring if he had a goddamn seizure in the middle of nowhere"  
"Ah. Sorry, pregnancy brain makes you forgetful... Keith, if I'm working you too hard, you shouldn't be afraid to tell me"  
Keith was still struggling to breathe. He was deathly embarrassed over crying in public where his mother had to comfort him. Her hands felt as if they were the only thing stopping him from sliding down the light pole  
"But you need me. And Lance needs me..."  
"Keith. I'm fine. I have Kolivan by my side. I'm sorry if I've been putting all this pressure on you. I believe in you and your talents, so I can't help but entrust you with more missions. You have proved yourself over and over. You've made so much progress with those recruits. You've built your name and a reputation you live up to. I should have considered you and Lance further. That's on me. I couldn't be prouder of you. And you know it's not your job to take care of me. It's mine to take care of you"  
"Everything... I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying. I was going to ask why you didn't come with Kosmo"  
"Keith. You don't need to apologise. I..."  
Keith was done with the subject. Well, more like he wanted to be done with it  
"It's fine, mum. I don't know why I melted down like that... Lance would be mad at me for..."  
"You haven't spilt any of his secrets. Keith, you know you can talk to me, don't you?"  
"I know. Everything hit me all at once again. I want to... I don't know how to be a big brother. I don't know how to be a parent. Aren't you scared?"  
"Keith, there's a big difference between being a brother and a father. I still have a few phoebs before I give birth"  
"But aren't you scared? What if something happens? What if something goes wrong during the delivery? Or... or something happens to the baby"

Releasing his face, Krolia pulled him into a tight hug  
"Galra genes are strong. Your new sibling will be strong too. Has it been weighing on you?"  
"You saw my memories. I couldn't help a single one of those kids... I don't remember their names or their faces anymore... but what if... what if something happens and they end up in an orphanage or in the system. I don't want their lives being like mine"  
"I'm sorry I wasn't there when your father passed. I'm sorry you went through so much pain and suffering. But you're not alone now, Keith. You have Lance for a start. He loves you very much"  
That was twice he felt as if his mother had rejected him. Yes, she had Kolivan by her side. And he had Lance now. And yes she said she relied on him... but... She could have started by saying he had her...  
"Thanks, mum"

Parting from her hold, Keith wrapped his arms around himself as he wiped at his face. He wasn't sure he felt any better for having talked to his mother.  
"Keith, you know you're my firstborn, and the way I feel about you is never going to change. This baby isn't going to change that. I love you"  
Those were the words he wanted to hear. Normally throwing one's self at someone was Lance's move, yet Keith still threw himself at his mother  
"Oof! Oh, Keith. Nothing could or would ever change the way I feel for you"  
"I'm sorry. I am happy for you. I guess I can't... it's not fair that they'll always have you there when I had to wait over a decade and a half to meet you..."  
"Wait. You didn't think I was sending you on all these missions because I didn't want you around"  
Part of him had wondered. Keith wanted to say no. He wanted to say that the thought hadn't wormed its way into his brain more than once. Still, he hadn't been thinking of it given he was too busy being angry and embarrassed   
"I wasn't until you just said so"  
“I love you. Here, how about we find somewhere to sit and talk properly?”  
“I’m ok, mum. I’ll be ok…”  
“Nope, you’re my son. I want to hear everything. Starting with why is Lance having seizures, and how we can both help him, and how I can help your marriage”  
Keith couldn’t go into the full history on that one. But maybe having his mother talk to his husband about his medication would give them both insight they were sorely lacking. The incite of a parent rather than two galactic dumb-arses who were way in over their heads  
“You did drop your fairy floss... Why don’t we make our way over to the food vendors and go from there?”  
Krolia gave a laugh  
“I hate to tell you, but with how I feel right now, I don’t think we’ll be leaving there any time soon”  
Keith jerked back a little in confusion  
“You get hungry when you’re pregnant?”  
“Oh, my boy. You have a lot to learn”


	15. Chapter 15

Babies... Keith's head was filled with everything baby. His legs were as shaky as a newborn fawn as he stumbled along beside his mother's side. She hadn't held back. On any of it. Keith wasn't sure if he was relieved that his dick was semi-normal by Galra standards. Sure. Not all of them did what his did, so it wasn't common in recent era's, but it wasn't completely uncommon either. Though it usually happened when they considered their partners their other half after years of trust... Not when the relationship was new and fresh, and not so much between same-sexed couples. So his dick had a mind of its own in that aspect. Or that was the general gist of what he got. There was something about cross-species and Altean's and he didn't need to know that Kolivan had never swelled up in his mother, and yet, he'd been cursed with that information against his will. No amount of mental soap and steel wool would ever expunge that from existence. They hadn't even touched the topic of Lance other than the very top layer of him not being alright, his interest in Galra pregnancy failed to stay a background interest. Once his mother started she didn't shut up. No matter how many times he'd groaned, dry wretched or covered his ears. And Kolivan... Kolivan was loud. Keith nearly threw up on that fact alone. He didn't need to know his father was a "grunter" while Kolivan was "loud". No amount of therapy would help him. Why did he need to know any of this?! Why was he being punished!? He wanted his husband. Lance wouldn't subject him to the "ins and outs" of his parent's sex life. Even phrasing it like that led to his soul-draining away a fraction more. Kolivan wasn't loud... Loud Kolivan... How was he supposed to face Kolivan again?

Still in a daze, Keith could see Shiro and Curtis approaching, both men happily holding hands as they took in the fun of their festival. He envied them. There they were, oblivious to Kolivan in bed, while he was haunted. Pushing his boyfriend towards them, Keith kept walking until he smacked into Shiro's wide chest. Krolia sighing at him, while Curtis hung back behind Shiro  
"Keith? You ok there, bud?"  
"Kolivan's loud in bed"  
Blurting out the most tormenting thought of all, Krolia snickered at him. Shiro awkwardly patting his back, as if that would magically make him feel better  
"Uh... Good for him?"  
Keith shook his head, looking up to meet Shiro's eyes with a silent desperation in his to be saved. Covering her mouth as she continued to laugh, his mother was horrible  
"I gave the birds, the bees, and the babies, talk. He's been like this for the last varga"  
Shiro's face morphed into second-hand embarrassment as he sympathised  
"Oh, man. I'm sorry to hear that"  
Dropping his gaze back to Shiro's chest, Keith mumbled  
"It's in my head"  
"Did you learn anything useful?"  
"Kolivan's loud in bed"  
"I don't think that counts as useful. Where's Lance? I thought he'd be with you?"  
"He's lucky. He escaped. He's sleeping... Shiro..."  
"I know. I heard you. Are you sure he's alright on his own? Maybe I should go check on him"  
"He's got Kosmo. If you want to be helpful, you can take mum"  
Snorting at him, Shiro's robotic arm patted his head  
"Sorry, little bro. I've got an arm-wrestling match to win"  
"Take me with you? Please... I can't take any more"  
"Keith, you're being overdramatic. You're part Galra, and though you and Lance aren't ready for children yet, you should know about your heritage, whether you choose to adopt or use an egg donor"  
Keith whined at Shiro. He definitely was not ready to be a father. Not after what his mother said. Babies now took the top list of terrifying things. Projecting out both ends. Endless nights of screaming. Crying with no idea why. Mood swings. Leaking boobs. A constant need to pee... Puking. Poop all the way up and out the nappy. Sudden infant death. Defects. Potential haemorrhaging during birth. Strokes. His knees just about gave out. His mother was supposed to make him feel better. Not scare the ever-living quiznak out of him. How was Lance even functional. He had to know about all these things  
"I think you've broken, Krolia. Would you like to join us? Curtis has a tendency to really get into these kinds of things. He's nearly as entertaining as the match itself"  
Curtis grumbled about his boyfriend, but Keith could hear the love. It only served to make him miss the grounding presence of his husband. He never should have climbed out of bed. All he'd done since climbing out of bed was be hassled by spiralling thoughts and nearly upset Shay. A whole lot of "nothing accomplished".

"How could I say no to you, Shiro? It's a much better invitation than walking around with Keith like this"  
Shiro laughed, his brother was traitor. His brother had also been painfully right. He had no idea what he'd gotten himself into... or gotten he and Lance into. He needed his husband. Lance would know what to say... hopefully... Mumbling Lance's name, Shiro patted him on the head again  
"Curtis, do you want to go check on Lance real quick for us? I would send Keith, but he's defaulted to factory settings"  
"I don't mind... but do we have the time?"  
"We have a little over 40 doboshes before the first match starts. That should be enough time for you to check on Lance and to get back in time to start checking out the competition"  
Turning Keith, Shiro placed both hands on his shoulders and pushed him forward  
"Come on, you. Hot sweaty arm wrestlers are just the thing to brighten your mood"  
"Not as hot as Lance"  
Leaning in, Shiro proceeded to prove he was able to fuck with him just as bad as Krolia did  
"Trust me. Curtis goes crazy for this, in more ways than one. He barely keeps it in his pants. Maybe you should enter? I bet Lance would go all weak-kneed"

Keith bit down a silent groan. His family were a bunch of mean weirdos. As he felt himself walking forward, he could only ponder as to why he even let them into his life, to begin with.

*  
Woken by Kosmo barking, Lance hadn't had enough sleep. His head throbbed, and his throat felt as if someone had held his mouth open then poured gravel down his throat. Confused by what was going on, he made to climb off the bed, only for Kosmo to growl at him. The wolf seemed to have grown in size as he paced between the bed and the door. It wasn't until he heard a "thud" against the door that his heart started racing. Someone was out there. Someone was out there and they were doing something. If it'd been Keith or one of their friends, then Kosmo wouldn't be going crazy. Scrambling off the bed, Lance grabbed his blades from his boots, Kosmo growling at him again, then grabbing him by the hand when Lance went to move towards the door. Pulling his hand from Kosmo's mouth, Lance sidestepped silently to the wall, following along to the door. His senses narrowed and focus on the shuffling sound on the other side of the door, waiting for them to make their move. Each tick a dozen beats of his heart... but nothing was happening. Looking at Kosmo and giving him the slightest nod, the wolf teleported from the bedroom. A clear yelp coming from the other side. Not wanting Kosmo to kill someone, and not completely sure it wasn't a case of the wrong room because all the passages looked exactly the same, he whistled softly, Kosmo reappearing as the sounds of heavy footsteps running gradually faded away.

All at once, he deflated against Kosmo as the wolf trotted to him. Wrapping his arms around him, Lance buried his face in Kosmo's thick fur as he tried to calm down  
"Thanks, boy. I'm ok... I'm ok"  
Whining at him, Kosmo gave a yip and wriggled out his hold, before head butting softly at Lance's stomach with a kind of" questioning yip". Lance would have laughed if his heart wasn't still going a zillion miles an hour. With shaky arms, he wrapped them back around Kosmo who teleported them over to the bed. Kosmo was trying to make him rest, but it honestly felt like he'd left his stomach back over near the door. He'd always know Kosmo was so much smarter than he played. He obviously knew Lance was pregnant... Kosmo probably smelt it on him. He knew such things were possible. He had been a "pregnant whore" before. Feeling his fears turning to tears, Lance remained semi-kneeling as he started to cry softly. Keith had barely been gone a few vargas. He remembered telling his husband to go, and now he was having a meltdown because Keith wasn't there to hold his hand. He had no idea what he would have done if they had entered his room. He'd sent Kosmo out there when they could have hurt him. He hadn't thought. He hadn't acted rationally. He'd grabbed his blades in preparation to attack. If he hadn't recognised the person... he could have... he probably would have... He... It wouldn't have been the first time that he'd murdered someone. There they were... He and Keith playing happily like he didn't have a past. Like he deserved to be happy. To start a family. How many people had he taken away from their family?

Whining softly, Kosmo wriggled to get his head up, nosing at his tears. He didn't want to upset Kosmo. He didn't want to upset Keith. Keith was so excited about their twins. He'd thought he would be happier about it all. He thought he and Keith would choose when it was time, when their marriage was actually functioning. He had to be fine by the time Keith came back. His husband was trying too hard to make him feel loved and safe  
"I'm ok, Kosmo. Thank you. I think I want to get some more sleep, but I can't do it when you're sitting on the blankets. Hop off for me, then you can have all the pats and cuddles you want"

Jumping down off the bed, Kosmo trotted over to the door where he sniffed loudly at the bottom seam line, before starting to scratch at it. His fur son sending his heart racing all over again at the thought that someone could still be standing there. Someone waiting for him... His lungs already felt tight, as if verging on a panic attack. Knowing that it wouldn't leave until he knew for sure that no one was there. Lance moved much more carefully and slowly as he climbed off the bed again. His steps were just as light as he moved to the door, slamming his hand down on the door button.

Darting forward, Kosmo grabbed something off the floor. Lance kicking into overdrive with the panic the action brought. What was he thinking!? Did his fur son really not have as many brain cells as he thought he did? Grabbing Kosmo by his collar, Lance wrestled him back into the bedroom, hitting the door button blindly as he moved to stand over Kosmo, feet planted both sides of the menace. As the door silently slid closed, Lance grabbed the object from Kosmo's, Kosmo having the nerve to look proud of himself  
"Go get on the bed. You're a shit. You don't do that. You cannot, I repeated, you cannot go around putting whatever you want in your mouth. Don't scare me like that again"  
Kosmo's tail kept thumping. Lance's words going right over his head as he tuned him out  
"Bed. Now!"  
Huffing, Kosmo teleported away, the wolf scratching back the top blankets to climb underneath with his arse hanging out. Tail still wagging. His son was an idiot.

The object in Kosmo's mouth turned out to be an envelope. Sliding the tongue out, no mysterious powered poofed out. Holding the envelope with his left hand, he carefully pulled out what seemed to be a series of photos with his right. Frowning at the top photo, it was of his date the previous day. With the envelope behind the photos for support, his hands grew shakier. The first 9 photos were of his date with Keith. All of them taken from a distance. All of them of him, zoomed in so his face took up the majority of the frame... He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. Why would anyone take photos of him? He was on a date with his husband. He hadn't hurt anyone... Hitting the last two last photos, his eyes widened as he thumbed them on an angle so both were visible. Vomit shooting up his throat, as the room swayed. One photo was his face scratched out. The second the stylised "y" he still hadn't recovered from. The stupid "y" that he found himself searching for on each customer that visited his bar, which was followed by the moment of fear when he couldn't see their arms. He loved his job. He lived for his job. That didn't mean he didn't have those fears. That didn't mean that some days he wanted to hide because of those at his outpost. Shaking so hard he fumbled the photos, Lance let out a squeak as the photos went up in flames, gone in a couple of ticks as if the envelope had never been real. No ash or scorch marks on the floor. No scent of burning paper. Nothing... just... This had to be a dream. It'd been phoebs... Phoebs... He hadn't pissed anyone off lately, or anyone that he thought had a connection to those people... 

Sensing Lance's spiral, Kosmo teleported off the bed. The sudden touch of his long wet tongue against Lance skin made him shudder. Ghosting fingers sliding across his throat. The sensation of hot breath against his ear. His breathing catching in his throat as his mind went blank.

*  
Arm wrestling wasn't Keith's thing. Shiro and Krolia were locked in a heated debate over the competition line up. Shiro had the advantage with his robotic arm, but some of the competitors... you couldn't tell where the muscles ended and their heads started. They were so jacked that Keith wasn't sure they had any kind of life outside of the gym. Maybe it was just him, but liked men like Lance and himself. Neither of them looked particularly strong on the outside, but completely dominate a fight if needed. Long and lean, he loved his husband's strong arms, and even stronger legs. The soft warm hands that felt full of love, yet had and could kill if pushed so far. These guys reminded him of cheap plastic figures stuck in place, whereas Lance was flexible as hell. To an overly impressive degree... More than Keith was... which was frustrating. Lance got into enough trouble without being able to squeeze into even more trouble. Left to ponder what his husband would think of all of this, he wondered if it would be better to just slip away back to their room. Only, he didn't have the words he needed yet. He was in love with his twins, yet fucking terrified thanks to his mother. He loved Lance more than them, so why was it that when he tried to reassure himself that if something happened Lance being safe and well was his priority, that he couldn't get the thought of their hands and faces out his mind. Did that mean they meant more to him than his husband? Would there be a time when they meant more to Lance than he did? He felt like he'd missed the bottom stair and was stuck in the horrible long moment of limbo.

When Curtis finally joined them, the first match had begun. Holding his left forearm, Curtis sidled up to him, confusing him with his meek manner. He'd only gone to check on Lance, what possibly could have gone wrong  
"Curtis, everything alright?"  
"Have I done something wrong?"  
Keith blinked half a dozen times  
"No? Did something happen? Did Lance say something? If he's having a panic attack or a meltdown he sometimes acts without control"  
"I didn't even get to check on Lance. Kosmo bit me"  
Rolling up his sleeve, the marks were bloody where his wolf had latched on. Keith's eyes went wide at the sight. Kosmo knew Curtis. He'd solicited pats from him more than once before  
"What did you?!"  
Yelled at to "shut up", Curtis didn't make his mistake of yelling. Instead, he dropped to a more of an angry hiss  
"Me? I was pacing out there trying to figure out if I should knock, or let myself in case Lance was sleeping. I didn't want to disturb his rest if he wasn't feeling well still. Then when I hit the door button, I mustn't have hit it properly because I walked straight into the door. Then Kosmo teleported out and bit me!"  
Keith groaned, burying his face in his hands. Why the quiznak was Kosmo such an idiot!? Curtis was a friend. He knew Curtis was a friend... yet... Lance was also pregnant. Kosmo hadn't seen him since before he fell pregnant... His wolf was only trying to protect Lance in his vulnerable state... but that didn't make him any less of an idiot. It was Curtis! Curtis had the patience of a Saint!  
"I think I know what happened. Kosmo wasn't trying to hurt you. He was trying to protect Lance. He's nearly telepathic with Lance's moods. I am so sorry. Lance was most likely asleep, maybe even having a nightmare, and Kosmo saw anyone who wasn't me as a threat. We should get that cleaned up..."  
Curtis slumped back in his seat  
"I feel stupid for not knocking now. It felt wrong to just walk in on him..."

Keith's appreciation of Curtis only rose further. Curtis genuinely cared for Lance, and wanted to respect his boundaries. Having been through so much with Shiro, Curtis most likely understood how triggering an unknown presence could be  
"Lance wouldn't want you bitten. Maybe next time try knocking, then letting yourself in? I don't know what to say. He's never acted like that before. Does it hurt? It looks like it should hurt"  
"Honestly, the moment he latched on I... I think I screamed before I ran"  
The confession was low, Curtis's pride damaged by Kosmo of all things. Screaming because of Kosmo... That was usually Lance as he was tackled down and licked to death  
"If it makes you feel better, Kosmo's tackled Lance and made him scream before"  
"It doesn't. He's a menace"  
Sounding huffy, Curtis only made it funnier by sounding exactly like Lance. The laughter he gave not appreciated as Curtis covered his bitten arm, before crossing both arms and glaring down at the arm wrestling ring  
"Sorry, Curtis. Lance frequently calls Kosmo a menace"  
"Lance is right. See if he gets extra treats next time he's on the Atlas. He's gone and done his dash"

No wonder Lance and Curtis had found common ground so easily. They were way too alike... Having listened in on their conversation, Krolia leaned right over Keith. Showering his lap with the pastry crumbs of the weird thing she was munching on  
"You never got to check on Lance, did you?"  
His mother was right. Kosmo had chased Curtis away before he'd had the chance  
"No... If Kosmo is with him, and that aggressive, then he should be fine, shouldn't he? You did say he was sleeping when you left him, didn't you, Keith?"  
Keith nodded. Still, a sense of dread had started to rise from the pit of his stomach. Lance could have been having a panic attack on the other side of the door. He could have had a nightmare. He could have been throwing up again... What if he'd stressed himself into another seizure?  
"Yeah. Had a late night, maybe I should go?"  
Krolia sighed at him, spilling more crumbs as she nearly crushed the pastry while waving off his comment  
"If he's sleeping, you should let him sleep. Both of you are so stubborn about resting when you need to. Still, it's strange for Kosmo to bite..."  
Shooting up, Keith clenched his fists. Ignoring the fact he'd basically hit his mother by accident in his haste, Keith didn't feel reassured by either "adult" he'd been seated between. His life felt like a kaleidoscope of chaos, and he needed a more "adult" adult  
"That's it. I'm going to check on him"  
"Keith"  
Calling his name, Keith ignored his mother. She'd filled his head with a hundred and one things to think of. He literally didn't think his brain able to absorb anything more.


	16. Chapter 16

Letting himself into their bedroom, Kosmo growled at him softly before yipping and teleporting around the room. Sitting in the middle of their room, under the now open vent, was the bedside table. The objects from its top strewn across the room. Sniffing deeply, Keith smell Lance's fear and panic... then the subtle hues of blood. Feeling his baser instincts rumble to life, Keith jogged the few steps over to the bedside table, quick to climb up and hoist himself up into the air vent. He didn't have to try hard to find his husband. Lance was unconscious on the right side of the vent, his shirt shed. His hand still laxly gripping one of his boot knives, as if he'd been ready to attack anyone who followed him up. Reaching out to take the knife, Keith slipped a little. He'd hand to jump up to catch the edge of the vent opening, then hold himself up with the strength of his arms alone  
"Kosmo...!"

Teleporting him back down from the vent opening, Keith stared up at his new dilemma. Lance hadn't moved an inch when Keith had called for Kosmo  
"Kosmo, get Lance"  
Whining then yipping, Kosmo tilted his head to gaze up at the vent, before letting out a huge bark. If it was a simple matter of climbing up and pulling Lance back down, he could have done it himself. But Keith had no way of knowing how Lance would react to being moved, nor did he wish to risk hurting their twins  
"Kosmo! Get Lance out the vent and onto the bed!"

Proving himself incompetent, Keith had to lift Kosmo up to the vent, his muscles straining under the weight, then his wolf finally cooperated by teleporting himself and Lance onto the bed, Lance bouncing lightly as Kosmo quiznakked the landing. Coming too, Lance dragged himself the small distance to curl up in the corner of the bed as if trying to make himself as small as possible. Something had to have happened. Something had to have scared his husband pretty badly if he'd fled up into the vents.

Keeping his movements slow and deliberate, Keith climbed up onto the bed  
"Lance? Babe, it's Keith"  
Not answering, Keith's hand was smacked away as he went to reach for his husband. Keith knew he was acting out of fear, yet the action still stung  
"Babe, I'm not going to hurt you. It's me. It's Keith"  
Catching his husband's hand a Lance went to smack at him again. Holding his husband's wrist, Lance growled at him. Darting his hand past Lance's other hand, Keith tilted Lance's head up to look at him. Lance's eyes were clenched tightly closed. Leaning in, Keith tugged Lance's captured hand back, forcing his husband to hug him as he moved to nuzzle into Lance's cheek  
"You're ok. You're ok, babe. It's me. Can you take a deep breath through your nose for me? See? It's my scent"

Growling and huffing, his husband's breathing seemed to take forever to calm. Lance still guarded as he opened his eyes. Feeling Lance moving, his husband pushed him back, cocking his head to stare at him in confusion  
"You're ok. You had a panic attack. You with me?"  
Lance's eyes darted from Keith's face up to the open vent, then back to him  
"I found you up in the vent. Can you tell me what happened?"  
Shaking his head, Lance brushed him off as he climbed around Keith and off the bed, striding into the bathroom before closing the door wordlessly.

Unsure whether to follow Lance or not, Keith found himself sitting on the edge scolding Kosmo for biting Curtis instead. Kosmo happily taking all the attention he was getting, his tail thudding happily against the floor as he rubbed at Keith's hands in an attempt to get even more pats than what was possible. It was times like this that he was wished Kosmo could talk. He knew what happened with Lance, while Keith was left on the sidelines until his husband was ready to talk. He knew he probably should have moved the bedside table back, but there was still the matter of replacing the vent cover... which while it wasn't urgent, it did need to go back up before they fell asleep and preferably glued back up there so Lance couldn't make another escape attempt. Maybe he was acting cowardly by not following Lance into the bathroom, but his fears had definitely gotten the better of him. How was he supposed to explain to Lance that in the short time he'd spent with his mother, he wasn't sure now was the right time to be having them? There was no harm in waiting. Plenty of couples waited until they were in their 30's before having children. So what if they were 50 when their kid turned 20? All that mattered was that they loved them. Lance hadn't even been all that happy about them...

As if Kosmo could read his thoughts, his wolf yipped at him as he teleported away, sitting in front of the bathroom door as he narrowed his eyes towards Keith. Their twins weren't even born and Kosmo was already taking their side... All the half-Galran wanted was a few vargas to sit down alone and think things through, without the worry of Lance having some kind of episode. He was secretly sure that made him a horrible husband if he wanted a break from Lance already. His husband had told him he needed to rely on him until he was a little stronger... now he wanted to run away. The worst thing was knowing that if he asked Lance for a little space to work his head out, his husband would give it to him, no questions asked.

Left there for half a varga, Keith knee started bouncing with impatience. He had no idea what was taking Lance so long and felt as if he'd missed the acceptable timeframe to follow him in. When his husband finally came out, with a bandage wrapped around the upper part of his left thigh, Lance walked straight over to their bed, crawling in beside Keith then laying with his back towards him, Kosmo unhappy that his human had ignored him as he slunk over to lay in front of the bedroom door with a dejected huff. His husband smelt of the Altean body wash that came with the room  
"Babe?"  
"C-can you hold me?"  
"Uh. Sure... What's going on with you?"

Moving up to spoon around Lance, Lance shook in his hold. This wasn't normal  
"Babe, did something happen? Did you have a nightmare?"  
Nosing into his pillow, Lance shook harder  
"I... I... Can you talk to me... I can't..."  
"Ok, ok. Shhh... we don't want to trigger another seizure. You're ok... Um... Um... Oh, Curtis came to check on you earlier. He got all flustered outside the door because he didn't want to walk in on you, then he decided to take a peek and see if you were awake... and he walked right into the door. I guess you didn't hear him? Kosmo did. He even bit him... That's why I was wondering if you had a nightmare... Curtis said he screamed like a girl and ran away as fast as he could"  
"C-Curtis was here?"  
"Yeah, baby. Did you hear him?"  
"No... Nightmare"  
"It must have been really bad. I found you in the air vent"  
"Don't remember..."  
"What happened to your leg?"  
Taking his hand, Lance lifted it off, wriggling away from him. Mumbling at him, Lance went about pulling blankets up to cuddle into  
"I don't remember. I'm going back to sleep. You go back to the festival"  
"Babe?"

What had he done wrong? Lance said to talk to him? And to hold him? He'd done what Lance wanted. Even with his gut still rolling with his thoughts  
"Lance, I don't get what's going on with you"  
"It's nothing"  
"Babe, I know you better than that. You're still shaking"  
"It's fine"  
"What aren't you telling me?"  
"Nothing"  
"Something's obviously up"

Rolling over, Lance seemed nervous. He hadn't made to move towards him if anything he'd moved backwards as he'd rolled. Keith knew it! He knew it, something else had happened, sure, Lance still had screaming nightmares, but nothing this bad for a while  
"See. I knew something was up. What is it?"  
"Curtis wasn't the only one who came to the room"  
Keith wrinkled his brow. Lance seemed to be struggling with his words. There was a small extended gap between each word  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean... I heard something and checked the door and there was this envelope. It had like photos of our date and a picture... of that red "y" shape... and I went blank after that"

Keith frowned deeply. He hadn't seen anything like an envelope. The half-Galran's voice rough. This was the last thing his head needed right now. They hadn't heard anything. They hadn't found that planet. Shiro would have told them if something was wrong, or if there was some kind of danger  
"What? Where is it? Did they try anything!?"  
Lance gave a tiny shake of his head  
"It burst into flames... I don't have it..."  
Keith filled with relief. Envelopes didn't simply go exploding for no good reason. Instead, it was far more likely that Lance had dreamt the whole thing. Half asleep and scared from Curtis being a moron... Yeah... That made sense  
"That sounds like a pretty bad dream..."  
Narrowing his eyes, Lance scowled  
"It wasn't a dream"  
"Babe"  
"It wasn't a dream!"  
Now he was upsetting Lance. He wasn't trying to be a dick about it, it just seemed super unlikely. Lance had had wild nightmares before  
"Lance, you were half asleep and scared..."  
"Are you serious right now? It happened!"  
"Ok. Ok, babe. But it's not like you... You could have still been sleeping..."  
"Get out!"  
"Lance..."  
"No. I was going to hide it from you. I was going to act like it was nothing. I was going to try and work it out myself. But I fucking tell you and you don't believe me. You jump right to "it must have a been a nightmare". "It must have been a hallucination". I thought my husband might actually believe me... Go away. Go back to the festival or something. I can smell you've got other things on your mind. I don't need your stress too"

Lance rolled away from him again. Keith had well and truly fucked that one up  
"Babe... I'm not saying I don't believe you, but... Why now?"  
"I don't know..."  
"Are you sure it wasn't a dream?"  
"Maybe... maybe not. I'm going back to sleep so you should go"  
Lance was doubting him. Doubting that he could approach it as something serious after calling it a dream... which he still thought it was. He'd bet GAC that was all in Lance's head. Keith had been desperate for time to think alone. Now he was being evicted, he didn't want to leave. A tiny part of his brain believing what Lance had said. The tiny part that he should have listened to instead of upsetting his husband  
"Alright... Babe... you can see how I thought it was all a dream, can't you?"  
"You're my husband... I thought maybe you'd believe me, but you're probably right. It was probably my dumbarse hallucinating..."  
Lance's voice quivering, his sentence trailing off with a soft sniffle  
He couldn't go. Not now that he'd reduced Lance to tears. Sighing to himself mentally, Keith shifted over, wrapping his arm around Lance's waist, at least Lance didn't slap him away or attempt to escape his hold this time  
"I'm sorry. It's just... really confusing. It's been so long"  
"Don't you think I know that! That's why I struggled with telling you..."  
"Ok. Ok... Can I still stay and hold you?"  
"It's your room too... I'm going back to sleep"  
So Lance hadn't forgiven him. He was silently testing him. If he left then Lance would think he didn't believe him, and if he stayed that meant to Lance that he wanted to be there? Silent tests were the worst, especially when Keith didn't think he deserved it. Lance already knew his mind was preoccupied with other things. He was failing this mystery test no matter what he did.

*  
Fresh from his "hard-fought win", Lance found himself disturbed by an overly loud and proud Shiro as Shiro flopped back onto the bed and shook his leg until he got his attention. 

Lance hadn't been able to sleep. His leg throbbed from where he'd nicked himself with his blade, before or during his escape up into the air vents. He didn't remember climbing up there. He didn't really remember much of anything after the photos went up in flames. He'd been unable to fall back to sleep, mentally kicking himself for telling Keith about the photos. Of course, his husband wouldn't believe him. He was well aware of how crazy he sounded. With the way he'd been rehearsing what to say in the shower, he'd sounded crazier each time he'd said it. He hadn't wanted to tell Keith, but it was too big for him to deal with on his own. What if something happened to his husband because of this, and he'd simply sat there quiet about it all? He'd never be able to forgive himself for it. He knew what he saw. It wasn't a nightmare. It was as real to him as Keith's arm around his waist had been. His husband laying behind him tensely for the better part of a varga before mumbling "I'm sorry. I'm going to go", then leaving him there to cry it out alone. Not that he actually cried. No. He'd grown teary over Keith not believing him, then spent the... however long since Keith left, staring across at the grey wall on the other side of the bed. He didn't understand why he'd been so stupid. He was mentally ill. Keith was probably always being forced to choke down his real feelings about him. He'd smelt his husband's rejection on him the moment he'd come out of whatever episode his stupid mind had chosen to lock him in. Keith didn't want to be there. He didn't want to be with him. Or to be with their children. His husband was lying to him without even opening his mouth.

Talking a hundred miles an hour about his win, Lance knew he was only going to ruin Shiro's mood. That's all he did. He wanted to bolt from the feeling in Shiro's hand on his leg, despite the fact, there were three blankets between him and Shiro's hand. Curling up he covered his face with his hands and the blankets, trying to block Shiro from existence. He so badly wanted to be happy for him. He knew this whole "arm-wrestling thing" was a thing for Shiro and Curtis. Like his and Keith's thing was blowing stuff up. Or was...

"Lance? Are you ok in there? I thought Keith was here with you"

Interrupting his own rant, Shiro climbed up into what was supposed to be Keith's spot. Keith must have taken Kosmo with him, because Lance had no warning before Shiro was walking in like he owned the place. Gently Shiro worked the blankets back from Lance's face  
"Hey, what's all this?"  
Shiro's scent was wrong. He could tell he was upsetting the older man with his actions. Placing his human hand on Lance's shoulder, Shiro squeezed softly  
"We're going out to celebrate my win. Curtis and I. We wanted to invite you and Keith to join us... but if he's not here, I guess that means I'm in charge of getting you up and ready"  
"I want to stay here..."  
"Ah! I knew you could speak. My plan worked. What did Keith do now?"  
"Who said Keith did anything?"  
"So my brother didn't?"  
Lance snorted wetly, grimacing as he snotted down his face. Wiping his nose on his hand, he then twisted back to look at Shiro  
"He did... but I guess when your husband's insane, there's only so much insanity you can take"  
"You're not insane. Keith's... he was a bit spooked. Krolia had "the talk" with him. He was walking around looking pretty spacey after finding out that Kolivan is loud in bed"  
There were a lot of things in life that Lance had no interest in. Kolivan... doing that... with Krolia... and being loud. No  
"Eeeeew"  
"He seemed spooked. I think she broke him. So I wouldn't try to take it too personally"  
"How can I not...? He wouldn't believe me, Shiro. He told me it was in my head"

Turning away again, Shiro decided it was perfectly ok to pluck him up into his lap like Keith, as the older man sat up  
"None of that. Whatever happened, you have a right to whatever you feel. Your feelings are valid. Does this have something to do with the vent to your room is uncovered?"  
"It's stupid"  
"Nah. What's stupid is that this medal isn't even made of gold. Tell me what happened"

Word vomiting on Shiro, Shiro let him talk until Lance ran out of words. He could almost hear Shiro thinking before the man surprised him  
"I think we should switch rooms"  
Lance's heart leapt, his words slow as he tried not to let his happiness show  
"You believe me?"  
"I have no idea why they would make a move, but I would never forgive myself if something happened. Just like you said you couldn't forgive yourself if something happened to Keith"  
"Keith told me it was a nightmare, but Shiro... it was real. Kosmo had the envelope in his mouth. I... I know Curtis wouldn't have left it, right?"  
Shiro didn't seem offended by the questioning tone he finished in  
"No. If they were photos of your date with Keith, that wasn't Curtis. And we don't have the technology in our room to have had the photos printed"  
"So why now? My marriage is practically over Shiro. Keith didn't want to be here. I could smell it on him. I wish I hadn't even left the outpost..."  
"That's enough of that. I'm sure he was only moody because of the baby talk with Krolia"  
Wiping at his eyes, Lance then climbed off Shiro's lap because it was kind of weird, and he was feeling slightly better given that he had someone who actually believed him on his side. Settling down on the edge of the bed, he felt like he could finally fall back to sleep  
"I know he was excited about them... but I can't help but feel like it's finally registered how much of a responsibility it's all going to be"  
"You've also had more experience with kids and a family in general than he has"  
"I know. I'm sick of not connecting with him. Our date was amazing. The whole day. And I know finding a new way to live with each other again is going to be hard, but I'm scared he's going to turn around and tell me to have them aborted. I don't want you to talk to him though. He didn't like it very much last time... I worked myself up trying to figure out how to tell him. I talked to myself in the shower, trying to figure it out. I tell him and he straight up tells me it wasn't real. Maybe you're right. Let's just go out. I can't promise I won't throw up or ruin another jacket... but I can promise you I'm sorry I wasn't there to see you win. I'm happy for you"

Turning back to shoot Shiro a genuine smile, Shiro looked pretty damn proud of the medal around his neck. To Lance, the arm and hand which was supposed to represent the contestant were angled as if it was trying to jerk the "1" off rather than simply be grasping it. Going out was the last thing he wanted, but why should he be stuck there being miserable while his husband was off being happy?  
"You know you want toooo"  
"I don't know if I want to... but I don't feel like being here right now. I don't want to ruin the night for you and Curtis"  
"I'm going to guess you've been too stressed and upset to eat. Frankly, you look like shit"  
Hugging himself, Lance shook his head. Now acutely aware he'd been wearing just his boxers since he'd come out the shower. He'd wanted nothing against his skin, and he wanted to drown in his husband's scent  
"With lines like that, I have no idea how you landed Curtis"  
Shiro's robotic hand made him jump as he patted Lance on the head. The range on that thing was ridiculous  
"Trust me, some days I have no idea how I landed him either"  
"Because you're... you. I don't know what to wear"  
Preferably Shiro would let him out in his sweats and a loose shirt, his heart gave a weird sideways beat as Shiro replied  
"Leave it to me"  
Greeeeat. This was going to be a whole lot of work that his sleep-deprived state wasn't looking forward to.

*  
Lance dutifully got dressed as Shiro swapped his and Keith's things with their own, including the bedding which brought a blush to Lance's cheeks. Shiro and Curtis had banged it out more than once, Lance wasn't so stupid to assume they hadn't. Not with those hickeys. Waylaid with a fit of nausea, Shiro took it all in his stride, rubbing his back as Lance gripped the bathroom counter. He hadn't been able to make it to the toilet, the feeling hitting out of nowhere when fighting with his buttons. He hadn't even been sure he'd needed to vomit and not worked himself up over seeing double with the buttons.

Dressed in black, Lance knew he looked good. Other than the bags under his eyes, and the stumble in his step. They were meeting Curtis at one of the pop-up bars set up for the festival, the tent not particularly exciting in its self, but it was loud and sounded like fun. Everything he didn't want right now. He couldn't drink. He knew how unfun it was on the other side of the bar when things went to quiznak. Standing out the front, Curtis smile widely at them  
"Lance! Did you have a good sleep?"  
Shoving his hands deeper in his pockets, Lance mumbled  
"Not really"  
"Sorry, Babe. Lance isn't feeling that great, and I couldn't find Keith"  
"Oh, Keith's already here with Kosmo and Krystaal. He was here when I showed up. I think he's been here for a while now"

Krystaal? They couldn't sort their shit out, but it was ok for Keith to be off with his new best friend. Lance didn't even know what Krystaal looked like... Only that Keith really liked them, and he didn't really like Keith all that much at the moment. Keeping close to him, Shiro shepherded him to the tent. Keith and Krystaal were impossible to miss. The pair seemed to be going shot for shot as people cheered for them. What struck Lance was the fact the Lotor looking love child was Krystaal. The Lotor looking love child that Keith had let him think was a female, was Keith's new best friend when he knew that Keith had found Lotor hot. Acxa was hot. She might be his sister's girlfriend, but she was also cute and completely adorable when she was around Veronica. Krystaal was best of both of them as far as looks came. He'd thought him a simple recruit... and a girl recruit at that. Watching as Keith slammed another shot glass down, Lance was filled with anger. He was fucking pregnant to this arsehole. He should have been the one drinking with Keith. Being stupid with Keith. Not watching his husband make a fool of himself over there with another man...  
"Lance..."  
"I'm going to hit him"  
Curtis paled, Shiro stepping between Lance and Keith  
"Lance"  
"Don't!"  
"I know you're upset..."  
"He's drinking with the guy he..."  
"Lance, let's go somewhere else..."  
"Why does he get to stay there and drink while I'm fucking pr..."  
Shiro clamped his hand over Lance's mouth to keep him from blurting out his secret  
"I know you're preoccupied. Let's just go get a drink somewhere else"  
Behind Shiro, the crowd let out a collective gasp. Pushing past Shiro, Krystaal was swaying in his seat. Both he and Keith were fucking lightweights. There were maybe 8 empty shot glasses in front of each of them  
"Lance!"

Hearing his name yelled by Shiro, Keith's head shot up  
"Lance!"  
Drunk enough to abandon their game midway, Keith narrowly avoided face planting as he caught his foot on the table leg. Embarrassed, Lance turned away  
"No. No. No. Come back, baby! I love you"  
Prevented from leaving by Curtis, who was holding onto Shiro's robotic arm as he stood beside his boyfriend, Keith nearly fell on him as he reached him  
"Everyone! This is my husband, Lance!"  
His name was cheered. Lance brushed off his husband. He felt gross. He felt gross from all the scents and the stink of Keith's alcohol-drenched breath. He didn't appreciate Keith calling his name like that, even though he should be with how Keith was claiming him as his in front of everyone. Octopusing himself to Lance's back, Lance shuddered as he reacted instinctively, shoving Keith off and darting to the safety of Curtis and Shiro  
"Aw, what's wrong, baby?"  
"You're drunk"  
Keith frowned and tilted his head  
"You're sober. You should come have a drink with Krystaal and I. He's a lot like you. You two are like peas in a pod... get it? Cause like peas grow in a pod"  
Keith laughed at his own stupid drunkenness. A cold shiver ran up Lance's spine as if someone had poured a bucket of icy water all over him. Didn't Keith think that he'd loved to be able to have a drink? That he wouldn't love to be able to kick back and drink until his mind went pleasantly numb. Lance's right hand went down to his thigh, he was itching to be able to inject himself. To get fucking high and escape reality. Keith left him to get drunk with Krystaal. He'd climbed out of their bed to go drinking with another man. A man whose skills he'd bragged about more than once. A man who was probably completely normal down there. Not some kind of freak with puffy tits and two babies on board. His breathing was starting to grow uneven. Why was it that every time he thought things might finally look up, someone out there had to pull the fucking rug out from beneath his feet?  
"Curtis, why don't you take Lance back to our room. I'm going to deal with Keith"  
"Don't bother. He's made his choice"

Fleeing the tent with his face burning, tears rolled down his face as Curtis jogged to catch up to him. Wrapping his arm around his shoulders, Lance shrugged Curtis off with a half-hearted apology. He didn't want people pitying him. He didn't want their sympathy. What he did want was their understanding, and for them to understand he'd stood well enough on his own two feet for phoebs. He'd been having the same highs and lows and phoebs now. The only thing that had changed was now he was knocked up. Running after him, Keith half tackled him. Lance spinning and slipping out the hold as fear gripped him tighter  
"Hey! Wait up!"  
Coming running after Keith, Shiro grabbed him around the waist and hoisted him up onto his shoulder  
"Put me down!"  
"That's enough!"  
Roaring at Keith, Lance shied away from the enraged Shiro with a whimper. Realising he'd scared him, Shiro went to reach towards him only for Lance to drop to his knees as he clutched at his chest. Squatting down, Curtis's voice reached his ears from a distance much greater than the few centimetres away he was  
"'Tani, you take Keith. Put him to bed. By the time you reach the palace, all those shots would have hit him. I'll take Lance back to our room"  
"We swapped rooms with them, I'll explain later"  
As if Lance couldn't feel any guiltier for ruining Shiro's celebration party. He'd thought he'd just resume his previous role as the unneeded extra wheel, not the one coming in and crashing the night. Gifting his friends with about as much joy as Zarkon crashing the evening  
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Lo siento..."  
"No has hecho nada malo"  
Lance flinched at his native tongue coming from Curtis. His pronunciation sounded like it'd gone through a cheese grater in the process. From his knees, Lance fell back onto his arse as Keith angrily lashed out  
"For fuck's sake, Shiro. Put me down. You're embarrassing me"  
"You're embarrassing yourself"

He was trying hard to bring himself back under control. He was trying to breathe like he was supposed, repeating Shiro's mantra as he did. Keith was drunk. He needed to be patient with drunk Keith. Keith had looked after drunk Lance more than once. Placing his hands on his upper arms, Curtis rubbed them softly with his loosened grip. The man's voice was soft yet firm, Lance finding his gaze rising in order to seek Curtis's face out  
"Don't focus on them. Focus on me. You're going to be ok..."  
"Shiro! Let me the fuck gooooooo"  
Sighing, Curtis shook his head  
"Get him out of here"  
Moving past them, Keith glared down at the pair of them  
"Hey! Oi! That's my husband! He's mine! You can't have him! Lance! Lance!"

Reaching out for him, Keith's outstretched hand was soon out of the corner of his vision. Without the object his anger and misery, he was able to draw a deeper breath. He still very much wanted to punch Keith. Smiling softly, Curtis patiently waited for him to be able to draw a regularish breath  
"Up for moving?"  
Nodding, Lance wanted to get out of the public eye  
"Thanks... I'm ok now"  
"You're not ok, and you don't have to be. This is nearly as bad as the time Shiro got drunk at this diplomatic function. We weren't even dating, and he went around scaring every guy in sight off. He nearly ruined the whole peace treaty, then didn't remember a damn thing the following morning. He couldn't work out why none of the men wanted to talk to him"  
Lance blinked away the tears in his eyes  
"That happened?"  
"It sure did. There was this other time when he nearly slept walked out of our quarters when he was naked. Honestly, sometimes I wonder how he managed to keep you all inline"  
"Because he had to... he couldn't let himself be himself... I'm really glad he has you..."  
Starting to cry at the thought of Shiro having someone who loved him so deeply, Lance felt the bitter acrid taste of jealousy clogging up his throat  
"Please don't cry. I don't know what to do or say"  
"I'm really happy Shiro has you!"  
Wailing at poor Curtis, Curtis laughed  
"I'm really happy I have him too. Let's get you back to bed. Keith said you had a late-night"  
With very little filter left between his brain and his tongue, Lance nodded  
"I was throwing up all night... I was hungry but now I feel sick all over again"  
"Ouch. That doesn't sound like fun. Do you mind if I help you up?"  
Lance shook his head, Curtis getting what he meant as he helped him stand  
"At least you know Keith loves you. He not only told everyone you were his husband, and announced he loved you, but he tried to scare me off too"  
Half falling into Curtis, Curtis patiently waited until Lance found his feet under him. Clenching and unclenching his fingers, the compulsion to inject was growing again  
"I thought falling in love would be a good thing... but all it does is fill you with anxiety... he left me to go drinking with another man... and I don't think I'm ok with that"  
"You don't have to be ok with it. Try talking to him when he's sobered up"  
Between the buzzing in his head, and the buzzing in his veins, it was a struggled to stay normal and grounded  
"I don't know what to say anymore"  
"It's up to you, Lance. You run a bar, and in that respect, you have a better grasp on things than I do. If he doesn't seem to remember, you don't have to push the issue if you don't want to. It's not like he dacked himself or was making out with anyone"  
"But what if we hadn't interrupted? I think... I think Keith has a crush on Krystaal"

Curtis shook his head with a deliberate slowness... and maybe because his world was a weird mess, he felt like something was wrong with that shake. Keith always talked about Krystaal... always... and he was always messaging him when he was out at the outpost  
"If he had a crush on him, he wouldn't have rushed to you. He wouldn't have made a scene or told me to leave you alone. You're like Shiro. You think far too much. Just try... following how your heart feels"  
Lance didn't have a reply for that. He didn't know what his heart felt other than pain... He adored Keith, but something had happened when his husband was talking with Krolia, and now he felt unwanted. Unwanted and unnatural... and burden to Curtis and Shiro. This was Shiro's night to bask in his win. Wiping at his wet face, he sniffled up his pathetic side. Shiro had been looking forward to this. He didn't want to keep thinking about Keith  
"Curtis... Can we still do something for Shiro?"  
Curtis shook his head, the man was probably mentally stressing over his condition  
"I think the best thing you can do now is get some rest while Keith sleeps it off. Shiro won't mind"  
"But I mind!..."  
Lance cringed at his own yelling. His head, heart, and nerves didn't appreciate the loud noises. Dropping his voice to something more acceptable, Lance hoped he was getting his words across. His face and mouth felt numb, but he wasn't about to just shut up without making himself understood  
"... I mean. I want to do something. He was excited... I didn't even get down there to cheer him on. If it's was me... he would have"  
"Lance, you wanting to do something for him is what will make him happy"  
"That's not the point. Please, Curtis. Take my chip card. Get some Crumsano Regent from the pub tent, it's a beer from our my region way. It's a really good beer... and pizza? There has to be some kind of place around here that sells pizza"  
Gushing at Curtis, Lance fumbled his wallet out. He wasn't sure why Shiro had made him take his wallet? Now he was happy he had. Kind of happy? Relieved? No. That wasn't the word either. His actions were a drop in the ocean compared to what they'd done for him...  
"You don't need to pay, I've got this"  
He wanted to be on an even field with Shiro. He'd always wanted to be on an even field with Keith and Shiro. He didn't want Curtis thinking him lacking  
"Curtis, I've got the GAC. I've got the GAC to hire a full staff, own an outpost and have a part share in a hotel... Let me do this"  
"We'll go halves for Shiro"  
"Deal... Now go. I'll wait here..."  
"Are you sure? I don't mind walking you back to the palace"  
Trying his best to channel sass, Lance failed  
"Yes, mum. Or are you "Space Dad 2"?"  
"Shiro is the "Space Dad". I didn't tell you this, but he loves that you all think of him that way. I'm happy being Curtis"  
"You lost that name the day you started dating Shiro. Space Uncle's Shiro and Curtis... yeah, I like that one"  
"I don't know if I do... "Space Uncle Shiro" shortens to "SUS" and "Space Uncle Curtis" shortens to "SUC"... Sus and Suc..."  
"At least I didn't call you "Friendly Uncle Curtis"..."  
Curtis gave a groan  
"I don't know how Shiro retained his sanity between the 5 of you"  
"There was seven. 10 if you counted the mice. 11 with Kaltenecker... when you're the bottom of the totem pole, you notice these things... does Kuron count? He had a thing or two to say about us. Don't even get me started on how moody the Lion's could be"  
"Don't be like that. Without you, Earth would have been destroyed. Wait here and I'll be right back"

Curtis had recorded the whole arm wrestling competition. Shiro had left Keith to sleep it off in the bathtub, while they kicked back eating pizza and watching Shiro's glorious win. "Watching" wasn't the right word though. Lance was dozing against Shiro's shoulder as Curtis and Shiro enthused over every loss and win leading up to his victory. Shiro had tried to convince him to lay down and get some sleep, but Lance really wanted to watch Shiro's win. Pizza and beer had gone over so well. Shiro wouldn't let him have any beer, making him drink water like a kid, but Shiro was excited for a "guys" night. Lance was pretty sure he'd been momentarily forgotten when they arrived back at the bedroom. The pizza boxes and beer had nearly ended up in the floor as Shiro kissed Curtis... enthusiastically. It was definitely not a child-friendly kiss... Lance nearly threw up from the intensity and he was only a bystander.

Feeling Lance's head sliding down his arm again, Shiro laughed softly as he handed his holopad over to Curtis  
"'m watching that"  
Slurring out the words sleepily, Lance hadn't been watching anything other than the inside of his eyelids for the past 10 doboshes. That didn't stop him from protesting  
"The match finished, and spoiler alert, I won. It's time for you to get some sleep"  
"'m fine"  
"It's time for Little Lance's to go night-night. Do you want to sleep here tonight? Or next door? Or in the bath with Keith?"  
He was probably going to have nightmares, so wanted to go sleep alone... His mouth stating so without him realising. Following up with that he should go back to his own room so Shiro and Curtis could bone. Rambling, Shiro suppressed his laughter as he helped Lance off the bed. Curtis was insisting that Lance could stay, but Lance didn't want to sleep next to two people having sex. Carried out the door and into what had been Shiro's room, Shiro fussed over him as he helped him get out of his jeans and boots. His buttons becoming a causality of war as they snapped off his shirt. If Shiro hadn't been there, Lance would have fallen asleep face down with his arse in the air because blankets were much too complicated in his current state. Tucked in, Shiro called Curtis on his comms, leaving it on like one would a baby monitor before leaving Lance to settle. The bed felt horribly big without Keith and Kosmo, yet horribly small with the soft toys they'd won sitting along the far side. Despite how tired he was, each time he started to doze off, Lance would snap awake only for the cycle to begin it again. In the end, it took vargas to finally drift off for the night, terribly lonely and feeling terribly small.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, Keith... you idiot muffin of idiocy... you're lucky I love you enough to make you talk to your husband in the next chapter...


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God guys! I feel like it’s been foreeeeever since I said hello to you all!
> 
> On the plus side, I’m still plodding along slowly... Our idiots are idiots... I have sooo much planned, but making it all fit cohesively is another thing.
> 
> Pluuuuus. I’m doing volunteer work for three local businesses now, helping with their Advertising and such.  
Me.  
Who can’t sketch for hell... or quiznak... or well...  
I’ve also gone from an iPhone5 to 8 and now all my apps have updated and I’m... lost...
> 
> Anyway... enough...  
Here be idiot one and two, doing a little of that talk thing they need to do. Keith is having the mental struggles about becoming a dad... He’s so scared he’s gonna fail his kids that he’s spiralling something chronic...

"Get up!"  
Waking with something rudely smacking into his face, Keith groaned miserably as he peeled his sleepy dust riddled eyes open and glared at the offending object that had hit him in the face. Pants... Why in quiznak's name was he being hit in the face by a pair of pants, when his head was throbbing like a bass drum and some kind of alien fur creature had set up residence in his mouth? Blinking himself to full consciousness as he yawned, Keith had no idea why he was in the bathtub, or how he'd ended up being filled with the desire to burrow back down into the bath and try for another several vargas worth of sleep. Not when the tub was so damn uncomfortable  
"What happened?"

Trying to gather spit in his mouth, all he seemed to do was make the taste lingering there worse. His stomach was making rumbling noises, yet the mere thought of food was enough to drain the colour from your face  
"I'm not surprised you don't remember. You got yourself wasted doing shots with Krystaal, before sending Lance into a panic attack. He's fine, thanks for asking. Already up and at the festival with Coran. We have a Paladin panel in 15 doboshes, so time to shower and get your shit together"  
Groaning, Keith closed his eyes and let his head drop back against the rim of the bathtub  
"I'm allowed to have a drink or two"  
"Tell that to your pregnant husband"  
Now, he may just be remembering things wrong, but Lance was the one who told him to go  
"I'm not having this fight with you. I feel like shit"  
"Good. I wanted to take him out and cheer him up. Instead, he ended up going to bed alone"

The coldness coming from Shiro wasn't entirely unexpected. Maybe he had overindulged. It certainly felt like he had  
"Don't throw that back at me. You're not his husband"  
"No. I'm not. He was in a vulnerable..."  
"He's always in a vulnerable state. He had a damn nightmare and ended up in the air vents yesterday..."  
Hurled up out of the bathtub suddenly, Shiro dropped him. Keith barely keeping from falling over backwards  
"What the fuck!?"  
"Lance is your husband. The man you spent years in love with. The man who is absolutely crazy about you"  
"I know that!"  
"Then why aren't you getting your shit together!? You're going to be a father!"  
"I know!..."  
Screaming at Shiro, Keith's world swam. Sinking on to the edge of the bath, he buried his face in his hands  
"... I know. But I don't know how to be a father. I don't know how to be a father, Shiro. I don't know how to care for a baby. I don't know how to change a nappy. I don't know what to do for a fever. I don't know... I don't know what to do!"  
Shiro's sighed heavily as he sat down next to him  
"Is that what this about? You're scared about being a dad?"  
"Wouldn't you be? I'm a mess. I'm turning 26 and my life is a mess. My husband won't take his medication. He keeps having panic attacks. He keeps testing me without me knowing it's a goddamn test until I fail... and... Shit, Shiro. I don't know what I'm doing. We can't even make a marriage work. How do we make a marriage and kids work? What does that even look like? He lives for his job. It's more important to him than the health and safety of our babies. Maybe he was right about having an abortion? He's not well. He's not mentally well. He's not physically well. He's hallucinating or his nightmares are out of control. He's got it in his head that the same people who raped him are back. What the quiznak am I supposed to do with that? And mum... God... She made it seem like having kids was awful. Really awful. Vomiting. Fevers. Teething. Sleepless nights. Shit storms... I can't take twins on missions. I don't know how to sit still. I don't think we're ready for this. I don't think I'm ready for this... it's such a big thing. These two tiny lives are going to be dependent on us. An ex-junky as he calls himself, and a Blade member. When things get hard... Lance doesn't have that drug crutch anymore... I don't know what to do if he won't listen to the doctors. If he's not going to try. Why am I going to try?"

A very long and pregnant silence hung in the air when he was finished. With each passing tick, it was like Shiro was readying himself to explode, then his voice came out dead level, not relieving Keith of his anxieties  
"Have you tried talking to Lance?"  
"He doesn't want to listen. He thinks he got this letter yesterday. He thinks we're all in danger and he got mad at me for saying it was probably a nightmare. It was right after Curtis left. He was freaking out because Curtis being cautious on the other side of the door scared him. You know how he gets. You know he gets paranoid. There was no evidence of anything like that..."  
"It's not paranoia if someone is actually out to get you... You raised the same issue with something happening at the awards ceremony. Now that it has happened, you're rejecting it because you can't control it"  
"I can't control anything... I don't know what I'm doing and talking to mum only made it worse. I love him, but she... She made me see how... How far I have to go"  
"Rather than getting drunk with Krystaal, yes, you got drunk with Krystaal as in shot for shot, you should talk to your husband. Lance is feeling all these same anxieties. He loves you, but you're running from him. Talk to him. He might not have been up for talking yesterday, but try. Try until he doesn't have any other option but to answer. I was scared when I took you on, but we turned out alright, didn't we?"

He'd gone drinking with Krystaal? Keith could very very vaguely kind of remember running into him... He'd been feeling bad about leaving Lance, but he was sure that Lance had imagined the whole thing. His husband was mad at him, and he was mad at him for being mad at him. He'd been so happy to see the twins, and now he was terrified. Absolutely and completely terrified... He didn't Lance being danger from someone new and unknown. He also didn't want their lives together to suddenly be upheaved. The twins would change everything. The twins would change everything and he didn't know how to have a family. Shiro was right, they'd done alright, but Shiro hadn't needed to wipe his arse or had to go through hours of potentially life-threatening labour...  
"I don't want to hurt him"  
"You already are, by running"  
"Running is all I know how to do... Running after him. Running into battle. Running after you"  
"It takes two to make a baby or twins in this case. There are thousands and thousands of people out there who can never have what you two are going through. Don't take any of it for granted. If you're scared, or if you don't want this, you need to talk to him. You need to let him know where you stand. And you need a shower. You reek like you bathed in that stuff you were shooting. We've probably got about 5 doboshes to be there. Best get a move on"

*  
Running to make the panel on time, Keith and Shiro we're both confused by the sight before them. There were five chairs, for five Paladins, except... in the place of Allura a photo of her sat, occupying one of those spaces. Behind the chairs was a series of banners featuring the faces of the Paladins framed by a thick band of colour responding to the lion they flew. Black for Shiro. Black and Red for Keith. Yellow for Hunk, then Green for Pidge. Allura was in the place of the Blue Paladin... and no signage for Lance. None... It wasn't Voltron without Lance. Lance was the heart and soul of Voltron. They'd never come together if not for him.

Joining Hunk, Pidge and Lance, Coran was a few feet away yelling at some event coordinator who'd failed their job over the lack of Lance's presence. At least that was what Keith thought at the time. Opening his mouth to greet his husband, Lance seemed to have preempted the move as he'd disappeared over to Coran's side silently. Elbowing him, Pidge had mischief in her eyes  
"I hear someone got drunk yesterday"  
"Shut it, Pidge"  
"Oooh. Touchy. Yelling about how you and Lance were married... Galactic social media is buzzing with it"  
Keith frowned at Pidge. If he was yelling how much he loved Lance or was married to him, then why was he so mad at him  
"I did what?"  
"Yep. Right in the middle of your drinking match. You lost me GAC. I expect you to pay up"  
"You were betting on me?"  
"I would have put all my GAC on Lance, but he wasn't there to bet on"  
"Whoa! Hold up. You would have bet on Lance? I'm so confused right now"  
Pidge rolled her eyes at him with enough sass that the eyeroll didn't seem limited to her eyes alone  
"Lance works in a bar! How many times do you think his customers challenged him to drinks!? How many times has he partied himself to sleep? You can't work in a bar and be a lightweight!"

"I tried to tell her that Lance doesn't drink that much anymore, but Lance sided with her. Are you ok, man?"  
Joining in on their conversations, Hunk ignored Pidge nodding enthusiastically, most probably because Lance had agreed, or so he gathered by her gesturing to Lance  
"I'm fine. I have no idea what we were drinking, but it wasn't that all pleasant to wake up to. Why is there no place for Lance?"  
Hunk sighed  
"Lance said that Allura should be on the panel, as it was her sacrifice that saved us all. He said he didn't need a place, but Coran wouldn't let him back down from this. Now they're trying to make a spot for him, despite the fact, he doesn't want to be here"  
Playing it cool, Keith raised his eyebrow, hoping to make the action seem natural  
"Did he say that?"  
"Not in so many words... I thought he liked his time being a Paladin..."  
"That's stupid. He's obviously having too much fun being a bounty hunter. Plus, he's probably struggling with this whole situation. I mean, this is a festival to celebrate his dead girlfriend"  
Hunk gaped at Pidge, his face losing some of its colours as his cheeks turned a faint pink  
"Pidge! You can't say that in front of Keith, he's his husband"  
Shrugging, Pidge wasn't fazed  
"Minor detail"  
"No. No. No. Major detail!"  
"Keith isn't complaining"  
"Because Keith loves him. Right, buddy?"  
"Yeah..."  
Keith didn't want to be roped into this argument. Pidge started laughing, the noise grating on his throbbing head, her arms wrapped around her waist as she struggled out  
"You could sound more enthused! What? Trouble in paradise? Are you in the doghouse for getting drunk without him?!"

"Ok, guys. That's enough..."  
By standing behind him, and placing his hands on Keith's shoulders, Shiro drew their attention  
"We're here to be Paladins, which means putting our game faces on. Do we have any details of what we're actually doing? Coran forgot to fill us all in..."  
Pidge pulled herself together, sounding almost disinterested as she related  
"He forgot to tell all of this. They ran a "question" box for us the past couple of days. We're going to be given a tablet with questions for each of us on it. We don't have to answer all the questions, buuuuut it's going to be broadcast live across the universe. I've got Matt filming it. I can't wait to see how Keith acts with all this attention"  
Crossing his arms, Keith scowled at Pidge  
"I know how to do my job"  
"Just because you know how to, doesn't mean you won't be awkward as hell..."  
"Pidge, why do I feel like you've bet GAC on my performance"  
"Because I have. Ooooh, look. It's Lance and Coran. What a convenient excuse not to continue this conversation"  
"Pidge!"

Pidge was the picture of innocence as Coran and Lance joined them. Lance standing half behind Hunk, refusing to meet Keith's eyes, as Coran filled them in on what was happening. Space had been made for Lance, by squashing them all slightly. The table was made for 5, not for 6. Lance wouldn't hear of Shiro not being on the panel, despite the fact that Keith had ultimately spent more time as the Black Paladin than Shiro had. Before he was ready, Keith was falling into line with the others, a holopad pushed into his shaky hands then the next thing he knew he was walking on to the stage where camera flashes blinded him.

Panels were horrible. Panels were horrible enough when sober, doubly so when hungover, and triply so when your husband was sitting beneath a photo of his dead ex-girlfriend, at the opposite end of the panel where he had no chance of talking to him. They were married. They were married and the whole quiznakking universe knew it... So why wasn't the happily married couple together? Lance didn't seem to mind. All of their group were already laughing and deep in a four-way conversation that had gone right over his head. Keith was out his depth completely. He had no idea that their questions were being screened behind them as they answered, he had no idea that the question time had hit him, and he had no idea of the words on his holopad were actually English because his eyes felt ready to fall out his head. In his own way, Keith was developing a new appreciation for functioning alcoholics.

*  
Keith was in trouble. With the eyes of thousands staring in the direction of his husband, several long ticks had passed since Keith's holopad had started to glow around the sides. Sitting in front of a crowd and answering questions was not how Lance planned his day going. He wanted to sit down and discuss what had happened the previous day with his husband. That was the only way he was going to find some form of mental relief from his racing mind. Despite feeling angry each time his gaze moved to his husband, Lance cleared his throat  
"Sorry, guys! My husband isn't great with crowds, but that's just something else about him that I love. Now, his question is..."  
Craning his head back to read the question he made a goofy show of it. It was probably for the best Keith wasn't on the ball  
"What was the worst part of being a Paladin?"

Moving his right thumb and pointer to his chin as if stroking an imaginary beard, Lance hummed. He loathed this attention. He loathed playing at niceties but knew he had a job to do. He Lance playing Leandro, who was playing Lance. It was the only way he could cope with the public spotlight  
"The worst thing... Oh, boy! Coran's cooking... the first time he cooked for is... I thought he was trying to kill me! Then there's the time in the middle of the night when Allura would run practice emergency drills... I guess the worst thing of all is that despite Allura's sacrifice, the fact that if she hadn't given her life none of us would be here right now... The worst thing is that we're still fighting while we're trying to recover. And all the little people we couldn't reach in time... but when living on the Castle, it was definitely the time Coran tried to cook for us. I'm sorry Coran! You're our awesome adopted Uncle, but us humans have a weird diet... I think we all would have gone crazy if it wasn't for Hunk's culinary prowess"  
Flashing the crowd his best smile and finger guns, Lance hoped he'd done enough. Pidge was agreeing now, Keith's holopad was no longer glowing, Shiro leaned back to give him an approving nod, and Hunk was blushing. Reminding himself that each question moved them closer to the end, he looked down to his own holopad.

After half a varga, they were all sweating. Pidge was being an angry little gremlin, at the point of threatening to murder the sun because she was done with this heat. Everyone knew the best way to store their little anger muffin was to sit her in a cool dark corner with her tech. Lance was feeling it too. His head felt sinus headache gross, his bodysuit might keep him cool for the most part, but worked best when his mask was up, which it wasn't, so the rest of him wasn't feeling that great either. No matter how much water he'd drank down, he only felt more and more dehydrated. Feeling his holopad grow warmer as it started to glow, he nearly dropped the device on the table as he vomiting into his mouth. His question being "How did it feel to work for Ambassador Klearo? What do you do now?". It was a simple question. Any number of fans would have seen the broadcasts of him standing behind the man. It didn't mean that he wasn't panicking. It didn't mean simply seeing the image of the man didn't bring all the memories flying back. Lance couldn't do this... Leandro... Channel Leandro  
"Well..."  
God. His heart was hammering so fast it felt as if it was going to flying out his mouth  
"I own a club now, out on Erathus. It's pretty nice there, and safe. The place is called "The Gilded Cage"... We wanted to create a safe place for travellers in the area. My friend Th'al runs it... Um... other than that... I'm Keith's husband and it's pretty much a full-time job keeping up with him... it's simple and nice"

That funny feeling was spreading through him. His holopad cooled as the colour left. Thumbing through the message list, every message submitted was listed, then chosen at random. That one message soon turned to half a dozen... of Klearo... and the look on Lance's face as the abuse had begun. The fear in his eyes. The disgust. The loathing of every piece of bullshit sprouted from the piece of shits mouth. Then blank emptiness. The change in his expression was almost haunting. It was as if you could see the time it crossed the line. When his whole being had shattered beneath the man, and the men who'd sexually abused him. As he scrolled up, in the hopes of finding evidence that he was being targeted, blood dripped onto the screen. Wiping at it, a second drip landed on his finger. Raising his hand to his nose, drops of blood rolled down his fingers. The holopad falling from his fingers to land on the table, the screen glitching before turning black.

"Lan..."  
Starting to say his name, Pidge realised his nose was bleeding. The woman fishing out a handkerchief from nowhere and pushing it up against his nose so hard Lance was actually pained by the action. Sitting next to him, it was only natural she'd notice. She'd no doubt been caught in the cloud of his stenched up emotional scent, causing her to be more focused on her surrounds  
"Sorry folks! Even us Paladins are only human! How about this heat!?"  
Covering for him, Lance was immediately grateful to Pidge, she didn't need to whisper to him to get out of there as she put herself out her comfort zone, it went unsaid like a silent agreement, Lance hightailing it off stage and straight into Coran's waiting embrace.

Led away from the stage, and into the background workspace where the transmission was being monitored, Coran sat him down on a flimsy fold-out chair, forcing his head down between his knees as his nose bleed steadily worsened  
"One tick my boy. I do believe you're the one who taught me that trick with the cold compress"  
Lance didn't think that placing a cold compress on the back of the neck was much of a trick, but with how overheated he felt, he'd take a cool anything right now. It was strange how he'd longed to feel something more than cold all the time, his condition had forced him to pay constant attention to his body. Knowing that even if he couldn't feel the effects of the heat internally, the rest of him could. It was like his soul had been frozen, then disconnected from his body, causing a strange disharmony between the pair. It was another reason he'd found himself wondering, more than once, if he was a clone. Returning with a cold bottle of water, Coran held it against his nape. Lance shuddering as his body rejected the cool relief it offered  
"How's that?"  
Lying smoothly, Lance nodded  
"Better..."  
"Ah... We'll give it a tick to kick in. I'm sorry about what happened out there, my boy. We left the questions open..."  
"Coran..."  
There was a gentle plea in his voice  
"You're right. Perhaps now isn't the time"  
Now wasn't the time. Never was the time. Those memories were fucking with his head enough. What he saw as clear evidence between the photos he was sent, and the messages on the holopad, he feared bringing it up with anyone. As he'd reasoned, the others would too. A fan could have meant no offence, though a fan wouldn't have sent as many messages as they'd had. Hopefully, when he had the holopad back in his hands, he could prove to his husband he hadn't been lying... Not that he should have to... No. No. He wasn't going there. He'd briefly bumped into Krolia who'd apologised for Keith's drunken behaviour, explaining how she and Keith had had the "baby talk", and explaining how Keith felt displaced by her coming child. Lance didn't need the talk to know that. It was hard for Keith. Keith didn't know what or how to deal with it. Still. He knew from personal experience that alcohol wasn't the answer. Not that he would turn down a stiff drink, or a dozen right about now.

Opening his mouth to reply to Coran, Lance was on the ground before he knew what happened. One tick he was there, feeling quiznak, the next Coran's face was peering into his and Lance felt as if something had zapped every ounce of energy from his body. Neither of them had thought about the sudden and drastic change in body temperature triggering a seizure. Tasting vomit and blood, he wished that was the end when it came to bodily fluids, only... down his legs was wet and cool. His suit catching the mess he'd made, while he'd been out of it long enough for his piss to cool. Blinking sleepily at Coran, Coran smiled softly at him as he tucked a stray hair back from Lance's face. This wasn't the first, second or third time he'd thrown up. The first and second because of his pregnancy, the third because he'd worked himself up simply opening his medication bottle  
"Seizure?"

Slurring heavily, Lance's voice failed to reach his own ears  
"Yes, my boy. A little over 45 ticks... Keith will be here soon"  
Coran sounded like he was speaking through a fog. He was kind of blurry. His neat orange hair blurred like a fire on his head  
"Sorry..."  
"Enough of that... rest..."  
He didn't want to rest. He was ashamed of his body betraying him in a tent full of strangers. It didn't matter that they were towards the back, mostly out of the way. He was supposed to be a Paladin, which meant staying strong and never letting the public see your weak side. His mind might have felt like a sludge sundae, but his thoughts had to get that final blow in.

*  
"What kind of an idiot puts something ice-cold against their skin when they overheat! You're lucky your heart didn't stop!"

Cleaned up by Shiro and Keith, mostly Keith with Shiro's support, Pidge was the first to scold him as she and Hunk joined them in his and Keith's room. Laying with a cold towel folded over his forehead, Lance had agreed he was an idiot in a series of "mhmm" and "uh-huh" until she finally ran out of appropriate questions. Shiro stopped her when she started to tease him and Keith, and given he was tired and somewhat sooky, he didn't feel like admitting how nice it felt to have Keith holding his hand. Having spent the last half varga chilling, Lance was ready for a nap, but Pidge and Hunk had decided that hanging around and scolding him needed to morph into a group hang. So Lance contented himself holding Keith's hand, and feeling Shiro's solid presence on the other side of him. There was a feeling that he'd forgotten something, but for now, he was happyish... or okish... scared, yet safe. Everyone in the room with him knew he was deeply scared by Klearo, each of them in their own trying to be there for him without making it too obvious. 

When Kosmo teleported into their room with a bark, his fur son decided that the best way to greet them all was to let out the most horrendous silent fart, that sent Pidge and Hunk scrambling off the bed as they gagged. Pulling the wet towel over his face did very little to diminish the stink as Keith echoed the other's movements and deserted him. The loss of his hand felt immediately. Whimpering at the connection between him and husband being broken, Shiro stuck his hand under the towel and pinched his nose as if Lance wasn't perfectly capable of doing so himself. Dimly he could hear Keith scolding Kosmo, Pidge laughing and Hunk still gagging. Yet they all felt so far away from him that he and Shiro may as well have been stranded on an island. Kosmo, immune to his own stench, laid happily over Lance's legs. His tail thumping in time with the throbbing of Lance'd head. Unable to stank the stink, Pidge and Hunk only lasted a few moments before opting to bail, Lance deaf to their leaving as he was hyperfixating on the feeling of Shiro's hand against his nose. His trauma was well aware that a hand to the nose meant soon water would be poured down his throat until he nearly drowned, or did and they were forced to revive him. He was starting to panic, his body too sleepy and leaden to fight off the man's hand, his hands weakly gripping at the sheets beneath him. Gasping like a reeled in fish, his body finally decided it had reached its limit, allowing him to pass out.

*  
The moment Lance's gasping met Keith's ears, the half-Galra was abandoning his futile attempts to scold Kosmo over the fart bomb he'd dropped, and rushing to pull the towel from Lance's face. Who needed Lions or Bayards, when your cosmic wolf could clear a room with just a simple fart. As Shiro released Lance's nose, Lance lay deathly still, his chest barely rising as Keith held his hand above Lance's mouth to check his husband was still breathing  
"Keith?"  
"Shut up..."  
With a gentle exhale, an inhale didn't follow. Keith placing his head against Lance's chest to find it wasn't rising  
"Fuck! Don't you dare, you stubborn arsehole"

Lance was vulnerable. He was vulnerable and Keith hadn't thought that Shiro's touch would send his husband into a panic. Not with the way Shiro was sitting right next to him as if he rightfully belonged there. Not with the way Shiro had supported Lance's weight while Keith peeled off the layer of his husband's clothes then wrestled him out his stupid bodysuit. Lance was so out of it, he wasn't sure that Lance had any physical strength to protect himself, and usually when in that state would only allow him to touch him, yet his husband didn't seem to care he was naked in front of Shiro. He didn't shy away from Shiro's supportive hand on his hip. No. His husband had leaned into Shiro's touch, sending bitter jealously blooming. He was the only one who was allowed to touch Lance's body. Him. Lance had said so. And despite Shiro being happily in love with Curtis, Keith could barely keep down his instincts. He could barely keep himself from taking a swing at his own brother. Lance had ignored him all morning, then Coran had sent some aid rushing to tell him that Lance had had a seizure. By the time he'd gotten off the stage, and down to communications tent, his husband was slurring as Coran reassured him. Blood and vomit were across Lance's fair and hair. His eyes were glassy and unfocused. Pidge being the genius she was, had been the one to realise it was the temperature change that had triggered it, yet they all know seeing Klearo again had hit Lance hard. Each of them hated him in varying degrees, but none as much as him. He'd been all for it when Pidge angrily grumbled about hacking the holopad Lance had been using to find out who had sent that photo in, only when the holopad had been retrieved, it'd fallen wrong against the table and fried the memory chip in it. Ropeable, and concerned for Lance, they'd all kind of felt like being there by his side, even if he was sleeping off the effects of his seizure.

Interlacing his fingers, Keith pumped down on Lance's chest, Shiro springing into action when he realised Lance wasn't breathing, moving to give Keith the space to work. Keith gave a dozen panic-driven pushes before Lance sucked in a breath, his back arching as his marks glowed brightly. Gasping and coughing, Shiro helped Keith sit Lance up, Lance shaking as Keith grabbed him by the chin  
"Lance?!"  
"Mmm?"  
"Keith, maybe you should give him some space to breathe?"  
"Don't tell me how to handle my husband!"  
Snapping at Shiro caused Lance to whine. Keith feeling like a dick for it the moment the words came out his mouth. But... quiznak!  
"Sorry. Sorry... something scared him so badly he couldn't breathe..."  
"It must have been my hand over his face... when Kosmo farted"  
Shiro looked exactly as Keith felt. His face devoid of colour, and clouded with guilt. Guiding Lance into his lap, Shiro helped to get Lance straddled with his nose against Keith's neck. His favourite secure position  
"That with having Klearo shoved in his face... Shiro, was I wrong? Did someone send him those photos? someone actually after him again?"  
"I don't know. I know he was scared and hurt that you didn't believe him"  
"We keep... not connecting..."  
"Getting drunk and bottling it up like an idiot will do that. When he comes too properly, talk it out. Or if you still need time to think things out, we can watch him again..."  
"I don't know... I don't know how to be a dad. I thought we'd have more time"  
"No one's ready to be a parent. And it's not as if these are usual circumstances. He'll listen"  
"I know he will... that's the problem, isn't it? If I repeated anything I said this morning, he's going to bolt"  
"At least he wouldn't be stuck wondering about how you feel and if you still want this marriage"  
Keith held his tongue. He still loved Lance. Lance was the air to his lungs... but Lance, kids, and work... He didn't know how to juggle it all.

Getting a few vargas sleep with Lance still in his lap, Keith woke with a start. His thoughts spilling into his dream, his mind tormenting him over everything he stood to lose. Starving and thirsty, Keith was surprised to find Lance awake as he carefully untangled his husband's hold on him. The moment their eyes met, things felt all that more awkward between them  
"I'm... I'm going to get us something to eat, and a drink. Then I think we need to talk"  
Climbing out his lap, Lance nodded. Settling himself into a ball on Keith's side of the bed, his husband rested his chin on his knees, his voice soft  
"I'm leaving"  
Opening his mouth, Keith closed it just as quickly before giving a half shake of his head. Lance wanted to leave? Walkout on their chance to talk? Or... was there something more to this?  
"Stay here for a tick"

To Keith it felt as if Lance was watching his every move as he grabbed up a couple of ration bars, and two glasses of water. Returning to their bed, Lance was at least willing to take the ration bars from him. His glass of balanced near his bare feet. Opening the ration bar, Lance tore off the end with his teeth, eating quietly and ignoring the way Keith watched him. Sighing to himself, Keith did the same, forcing himself to eat half the tasteless bar. They weren't that great, but it wasn't goo  
"I think we need time apart to think"

Dropping those words with dead calm, Lance stole his breath  
"I think there are some things you need to work out, and I don't want to be on Altea anymore. I talked a little with Krolia. I wish it'd been you who'd explained to me what happened between you and her. Kids. Hey. I get it. It's a huge thing. I can't concentrate on them, me, and walk on nails around our friends. I'm tired of yoyoing more than I was when I was alone. I'm going to ask Krolia to lend me a ship and head to the next training planet"  
"I know we haven't been connecting... but we just haven't had the chance. You spent most of yesterday sleeping!"  
Quiznak. He sounded far more accusatory than he meant to  
"And you spent it getting drunk..."  
"Only because you were testing me! I don't know how it turned so shit so fast!"  
"I wasn't trying to test you. I reached out and you made me feel stupid. I'm going to give you a chance to think. About what you absolutely truly want. Me. Me and the twins. If you want to take the out. My head is a mess. I don't want to be here. You're still wanted here. You still have things to work out. You should take the time to think it through"  
"Don't I get a say? You had a seizure, then a panic attack so severe you stopped breathing. I have to pump your chest until you finally took a breath... We've only been here a few days. You're not taking your medication..."  
"No. I've been forcing myself to drink enough water that I go to sleep needing to pee and wake up nearly wetting myself. I've been scoffing down these bars because they're like the only thing I don't throw up. So don't say I'm not trying. You knew I messed up, you told me I could trust you. You made me trust you. And I thought you actually saw me. Now I don't want to fight. I want to think. You don't think I'm scared? I know all the risks with pregnancies because I come from a huge family. It doesn't get that big without things happening... I'll keep your twins safe until you make a choice. I don't know how to be a dad. A little brother and an uncle. A drunk and druggie. I've got that covered. A dad. A mother. I don't know what to call myself other a freak. You make the choice. I can't trust myself anymore, apparently"

The last part was definitely a jab at him. It was the only part where Lance's voice had held any emotion. His husband sounded like Leandro. Leandro when they'd first crossed paths again  
"That's not what I want"  
"Then what do you want?"  
"I don't know"  
Lance sighed  
"Exactly. We have all this festival stuff happening while trying to fix this mess of a marriage. I hate being in the crowds. I hated being on the panel. I..."  
Lance frowned as his sentence stopped abruptly  
"You, what?"  
"I... no. It's better I talk to Shiro. You should enjoy the festival"  
"What can you say to Shiro, that you can't say to me!?"  
"I don't know what I can say to you anymore. I love you. I love you more than anything, but that doesn't fix our marriage. I know you're stuck lying to everyone because of me again... I don't want to be a burden on you... but I'm scared. Everything that makes us "us", is going to change. I'm scared. I don't want a life of just... just sex... sleep... eating... and what? I don't know how to settle down anymore. I thought... I thought us having our own home would... we would have... That we'd be together more than we were. I don't know where we're going to live... I'm such a fucking screw up... I can't even keep my husband happy... I was proud... maybe that was it. I was proud of our room and our space. I tried my hardest to make it as relaxing as I could for you. I wanted you to feel at home, but you don't"

Lance wiped at his face, Keith biting the insides of his cheeks. It was his fault. He hadn't spoken up to his mother. He'd thought himself capable of handling everything. He'd thought himself agitated and annoyed, yet he hadn't sought his mother out sooner. He hadn't sat down with her and asked his hours to be cut or to be rotated off the training roster. Even when he thought about it, or grumbled, he hadn't sat down with Krolia and said it sooner. Maybe that had been his pride? Krolia kept giving him work because she was proud of him. It seemed to him that their combined pride had led to things winding up as they had.

"Let me come with you. We can go ahead. We can figure out how we're going to conduct our training exercise. Krolia doesn't really tell us about the planet... so we could think up something before the others come?"  
Lance sighed at him  
"That's not going to work"  
"Why not?! Things only became complicated because of the others. We didn't see them the day of our date... and I thought we had a good time?"  
"You were practically high on seeing your twins for the first time. Being responsible for these two lives hadn't sunk in... I think it was... it was the best day of my life. You're so quiznakking sweet to me. You treat me amazingly... then... you get stuck in your own head. It wasn't my... I was not trying to test, or you drive you to drink with Krystaal. I wanted to cuddle without talking seriously... I wanted you to tell me how things went with Krolia... I want you to be able to rely on me, Keith. I know my seizures have been hitting frequently, but... sometimes they don't hit for weeks..."

, Of course, he was high on seeing their twins. Their tiny little noses. Their tiny hands. Their tiny bodies. Their children. Half him. Half Lance... They were barely more than a bunch of cells caused by their lack of sense with contraceptives. But... would they even survive if Lance kept having seizures?  
"The pills would help with that"  
"I can't, ok! I know they're not the same, but thinking about them... I can't! I'm eating these bars. I'm forcing myself to keep eating!"  
Holding his hands up in surrender, Keith knew he should have expected the backlash  
"Right. Fine. I'm sorry for worrying. Did you at least eat last night? How did you know I was drinking?"  
"Shiro, Curtis, and I had a pizza and beer night. Shiro was trying to make me happy, so we were going out for drinks. He wanted to invite both of us to celebrate his win, but couldn't find you. He made me get dressed up. Anyway, Curtis was waiting outside the tent you were drinking in. I had a panic attack, then begged Curtis to go grab beer and pizza, we came back to their room and watched his win while you slept in their bathtub"  
"I don't remember that"

Opening his second ration bar, Lance nodded  
"I'm not surprised. You were going shot for shot with Krystaal. I don't know what you were drinking, but when you saw me you started yelling about me being your husband, then got kind of mad... not mad, annoyed? when I was panicking... This is why... This is why I think we should take a few days apart. That way you can get your thinking straight"  
Now they were back on that... He didn't want to leave Lance alone. He only needed... a few vargas...  
"I know I quiznakked up... but... we're supposed to be talking this out!"  
Lance wasn't one to talk with a mouthful, yet the way he was tearing into the ration bar, his husband had seemingly forgotten swallowing and chewing was a thing  
"Keith, I can smell the confusion on you! You smelt of fucking rejection yesterday. I've already got a plan for the next planet. Krolia will ok it once we talk it out. I'll be there for like 4 quintants..."  
"You'll be alone! I get that you don't want to be a... that you don't want an easy life or whatever, but what if... What if you get so scared that you stop breathing again? Then what? I can't fucking lose you, you idiot! No. You're not going alone"

Lance had stopped fucking breathing! He'd needed CPR! Now he was sitting there, filling his face and acting like him nearly dying was a perfectly acceptable thing! Like quiznak, he was letting his husband do something silly and dangerous without him... In order to be two halves of the same idiot, both idiots needed to be present. Besides. With everyone filling his head with so much information, hadn't it occurred to Lance that maybe Keith needed a break from everyone? Krolia had given him the baby talk. Shiro's was telling him to talk to Lance, but not to, then to. Lance was still melting down. His husband had even had to cover him at the panel. Surely he'd fulfilled centuries worth of Paladin duties sitting there under the sun. He'd even gotten sunburnt for his troubles.

Fiddling nervously with the ration bar wrapper, Lance talked to his hands  
"Keith. How are you supposed to think things through between us, if I'm there with you?"  
"You said you had plans for the next planet... if I put you in charge of the training exercise... you and Kosmo can set it up or whatever. I promise I won't interfere... I'll stay back... just... I feel like if you leave right now, it's only going to get worse between us... I don't want to lose you, but... you're right. I am kind of freaking out over it all. Kids... I know we're not the same kids that were sent into space, but when I think about being 27... I don't feel my age..."  
"And you think I feel 24? I still remember everything that happened like it was yesterday... all of it. That's why... I need to go"

They lost three years to the void, and he was gone for two with his mother. 6 phoebs had been all it took for Voltron to nearly break. For Lance to break... All their time together had failed to keep Lance sustained through his absence. Then there was Kuron, who'd physically harmed Lance... Pidge and Hunk who'd abandoned him. Lotor who'd weaselled his way in... Lance might have made peace with them, but he still hadn't made peace with his memories.

"We'll go together. The three of us. You, me, and Kosmo. We'll work it out together. It'll be like a family camping trip..."  
"Keith..."  
Lance was wavering. Lance was wavering and he could see it!  
"You can boss me around. Whatever. As long as I'm with you, I can do anything..."  
"That's not fair..."  
"I don't care if it's not fair. Just don't leave me behind"

Lance sighed deeply, flopping back on the bed and spilling his glass of water everywhere as he did. Groaning as he craned his neck to stare at the reason why his feet were wet  
"Fiiiine. Dios. I'm an idiot for agreeing, and you better do what I say. No arguments. I have a plan to fix your teamwork and individual skills, and I won't let you stop me. Don't treat me differently. I'm fucking pregnant, not dying. Don't forget the difference. And do not think for one quiznakking moment that I will not have Kosmo teleport you to the other side of the planet if you get in my way. Plus. You're sleeping in the wet spot... and don't even think about touching me until I give you permission. I'm still hurting, and I'm still livid at you"  
"Ok..."  
"So you better figure out the hell is going on with you, and you better stay away from me until you do. I'm going back to sleep. I want to get a few vargas before your kids have me on the bathroom floor again"  
Keith hadn't taken into account Lance's morning sickness, but it was just another reason for Lance not to be left alone  
"I..."  
"Don't. Not until you've done the think"

There was no mistaking that. Keith may have just won the battle, but Lance... Lance was the final boss and he had a long long quest chain to go...


	18. Chapter 18

Forest. Forest as far as Lance could see and he was loving it. Keith was camping under the wing of the jet Krolia had lent them, while Lance had happily strung up his own tent away from him, closer to the clearing's edge where he was able to survey everything from the nice little tree that had easy to climb branches. Keeping to his end of the bargain, Keith had spent a lot of his time hanging back at his campsite across the clearing, Lance venturing over when he felt like it, or for dinner, or to sleep at night. Keith was paranoid. Paranoid that some great big mystery animal was going to eat Lance in the middle of the night. Day naps were acceptable, with Kosmo there for cuddles, but night meant sleeping in Keith's arms. They'd failed at sleeping further apart. The first two attempts resulting in Keith octopusing his way across the foot or so between them, in order to capture and cage him in his hold.

Before leaving for the training planet, Krolia had forced them to have a "family meeting", her words sticking in Lance's brain. Lance was only allowed on off-world Blade missions on the provider that he stuck to his medication and followed the "no comms" rule when it was in play. He loved that Krolia was proud of her son, that she trusted him and his skill as she reiterated repeatedly between apologising for not remembering that the outpost didn't play by standard time rules, yet he didn't love that his husband had told her he wouldn't take his medication. That felt like Keith crossing the line and breaking his trust all over again. A feeling akin to finding out Krolia knew his darkest secrets relating to Klearo. If she ever found out that he was a recovering drug addict... Shiro knowing was bad enough... Lance had the feeling that Krolia knowing would be a lot like Shiro knowing. Knowing without knowing. Knowing without feeling those compulsions or desires. Passing judgment as if quitting was the easiest accomplishment attainable. So he'd lied. He'd agreed. Anything to make the conversation come to an end. Keeping busy had helped clear his head. No crowds meant no unknown enemies coming for him. The lack of running water sucked, the scanners not picking up a fresh supply in the immediate area, but when Acxa brought Keith's ship to regroup with them, they'd be able to shower then. He was currently 3 quintants seizure and panic attack free. His morning sickness was still kicking his arse, so was his fatigue, but he was so quiznakking proud of the mission he'd designed for Keith's team. With Kosmo at his side, his husband had loosened the invisible collar around his neck. Though unimpressed by the pair of them disappearing for vargas at a time with just a backpack and a holopad, Keith didn't try to stop him. Lance was sure his husband would if he knew the number of high places he'd frequented since their arrival. But what kind of team challenge would it be if it wasn't designed to test individual and team strengths? 

*  
Giving in to his bodily urges, Lance was still a little tender when Acxa landed Keith's ship in the clearing near the jet they'd borrowed. His husband had told him he was scared over him being in the field, and that he'd have an answer for him by the time the movement was over. Lance didn't like to mention that he was kind of heartbroken that Keith had spent quintants thinking and still couldn't come to a clear conclusion over what they were going to do. His husband still loved him, still wanted to be with him, but what came next hinged on the success of this training mission. He was due right before Hunk's wedding... To him, the clear choice would be to return to the outpost for a movement or two, just enough to speed the pregnancy along... or even weekends. After pouring blood, sweat, and tears into getting the place into something functional, he wasn't prepared to walk away. Keith was his precious husband... but he was sure with how suspicious Keith had been over Krystaal, that his husband harboured feeling deeper than friendship for the man. That's what he wanted him to work out. He wanted Keith to work out that he did, then he wanted his husband to choose him. He'd given him the option to decide to walk away. Doing so would break Lance beyond words, but keeping Keith and forcing him to suffer... He couldn't live with that either. He wasn't proud of spreading his legs for his husband. He hadn't wanted to while Keith's feelings were so up in the air. Yet all the hormones coursing through his system had him waking up so wet between his legs, he'd soaked Keith's sweats with the slick substance he produced. Keith's hands were all over him the moment his husband woke, Lance nearly crying as Keith massaged at his small budding breasts, his nipples so tender that the slightest touch burned. With no one around, beneath the red sky of the planet, Keith had fucked him until the pleasure turned to pain, and his hips felt dislocated. Covered in fresh lovebites and limping, his uncomfortableness left Zethrid and Ezor in stitches as he tried to salvage some of his "reputation", which had fallen to land somewhere beneath the purple leaf litter, then sunk down into the unseen topsoil. 

Acxa had delivered them an angry message from Veronica over him departing from Altea without telling her or the others. Lance had told Shiro, Curtis and Coran, letting Krolia cover for them when it came to the others. It didn't mean his sister wasn't damn near-apocalyptic in the recording. He's said they'd talk... and they hadn't. She'd probably run to their mother, then he'd cop it from her... Ugh. The quiznakking mess the fallout was sure to bring was enough to make him seriously considering never returning home. Something he had been considering since he'd found out he was pregnant, and knew the aunties would most likely shun him to the point of him becoming taboo. Being bisexual was bad enough, or "gay" as their narrow minds labelled it. Love was love. Just because he loved someone with more of the same bits and pieces as him, didn't make him anything less. No. He was kind of less than human, but if Keith wanted his twins, then there was no way he was letting them start their lives being tainted due to the fact he was a walking abomination. The embodiment of sin... It was all a load of quiznakking crap anyway. He was soon to be 24. He needed to stand on his own two feet, or face being swept under someone's thumb and never realising any of his remaining dreams. Not that he had many of those. He wanted Keith to be happy. He wanted to see Shiro and Curtis wed. The same for Hunk and Shay. He wanted to see Daehra reach her goal, and see Lucteal ask Yule out on a proper date. He'd given up Zak, Tobias or Pidge ever marrying... though they'd both made progress on their prospective projects. If they combined their forces, they'd more than likely combine them for evil. Building the world's first sentient sex bot or something along those lines. A different kind of mail order bride, or groom, or robot... He didn't like to think ill of Tobias, he just lacked so many social skills.

Prewarned that Lance was their commander for the duration of their training camp, the first thing he did was order the others to make camp, as he sent Keith and Kosmo off to gather firework. Having arrived midday, it was more important they first "found" shelter, and orientated themselves in the clearing, so they'd be able to use telltale landmarks to find their ways back in they became lost during their adventure, than it was important to launch into training without being properly prepared. Safety came first. Maybe because Lance was scowling so fiercely, not wanting to the group of recruits to think of him as "Keith's kept woman", none of them took him all that seriously. Ezor giggling her head off. As annoying as it was, he didn't show his irritation or deviate from his mental plan. The moment the recruits had lined up in front of him at Ezor's command, he'd begun relaying information they'd need to complete their objecting. Krystaal seemed especially pissed at him. His arms crossed as he looked bored. Lance would have paid good GAC to see a bird shit on him as he talked, only, he hadn't seen that many birds that weren't on ground level... Unimpressed by the lack of cooperation, Lance snubbed the others as he rearranged Keith's sleeping area. Krolia had given him permission to run the training exercise, that should be all that mattered. Plus, he'd worked exceptionally hard to pull all of it off. With his mood souring as self-doubt began pouring in... He decided that when Kosmo came back, the pair of them were going to bed very early... with Keith. 

Keith refused to let him go to bed early. His husband had done a good job collecting firewood, and with Kosmo acting too protective of him, growling at Acxa when she came to report that everyone had set up their sleeping areas. Not wanting to risk anyone being bitten by Kosmo again, Keith had insisted that they needed to spend the night near the recruits, so Kosmo could see they meant no harm. That was how Lance found himself sitting around the main campfire with the others, cuddled up in Keith's lap by mostly his own choosing. Keith was off the market... so he may have ever so slightly been staking his claim. Drifting in and out of the conversation, Lance spent most of his time mentally sizing each member up.  
There were 6 recruits, the only one polite enough to introduce herself had been Regetta, but that meant 4 snobby Galra that his anxieties were telling him weren't to trust... The number dropping to three when one of the male recruits managed to set himself on fire, despite being a good foot away from the fire itself, and not even looking at it when it happened. Now it seemed to him they were less like snobs, and more like quiznakking idiots... Which was all the better for his training plans... These idiots were going to have to work with Keith's main team if they had any hopes of advancement.

*  
Woken in the middle of the night with morning sickness, Lance crept up into Keith's ship feeling like he was some kind of thief. He wasn't used to the quiet and empty feeling, nor did he have the layout memorised, so simply decided to stick the rest of the night out sleeping on the bathroom floor, where Kosmo and Keith found him in the morning. With a hot shower under his belt, he felt better about facing the recruits. Keith had pampered him in the shower, massaging his aching shoulder's until he forgot he was mad him, and something suspiciously purr like wouldn't stop rumbling up from his chest. Stupid Keith and his stupid skilled hands... And extra stupid Keith for reminding him that he'd been neglecting to check in with mami and Jorge. Acxa had reported magnetic solar storms that would have made outside communications impossible anyway, so he didn't need the reminder anyway. Not when it would be a full week of peace that he was past due. If not for the up and down between him and Keith, the last 4 quintants were heavenly. He loved the forest. He loved how Keith's natural scent matched that of their campfire. This, whatever it was, was what he'd needed.

Breakfast was better than dinner had been, everyone seemed much more talkative with him, expanding the number of names lance knew when it came to the recruits. Regetta he’d decided he liked. Krytaal was a big fat nope. Legre, the idiot who’d set himself on fire was a bit of an airhead... Happy to wander around chasing invisible butterflies or something, until he tripped up over his own feet... Melda was the... He was friends with Legre by the same... specialness. They weren’t like the Blade members of the past at all. Or maybe because Kolivan and Krolia were so scary, Lance found them lacking. That wasn’t to say that Melda and Legre had no redeeming qualities at all, it was more a fact that they were yet to be seen... and because he was a mostly okayish person, he was going to keep his mouth quiet about their lacking “smarts” if they proved to be “dumb smart” like him. 

Asking Zethrid to gather everyone for him, Lance stood as tall as he could. Though not the smallest of the group, he wanted to make himself at least seem like a credible threat. Clearing his throat, he would have kicked Keith in the shin if he could have. His husband having the audacity to snicker at his attempts at confidence. Pouting mentally, he wasn’t going to miss his chance at revenge when the time was right. Pointing at the two recruits he didn’t know, the others looked to them  
“You and you. Names”  
The smaller female Galra of the unnamed pair didn’t seem impressed over being singled out, holding her tongue. She wasn’t overly remarkable. If anything she looked like a cardboard cut out of a young Galra. The second Galra stepping forward to stand to attention. Lance now regretting singling her out. Saluting, then bowing deeply, Lance blinked at her rapidly as he tried to process her level of dedication   
“My name is Nerlo, sir! It is an honour to meet you, sir! I look forward to working with you, sir!”

Yelling at her feet. Lance mentally cringed. He wasn’t “sir”. He didn’t like being called “sir”. Looking the woman up and down as she straightened, Lance could pretty much see the stars in her eyes. Greaaaaat. Just fucking fantastic... Wait. No. He couldn’t let his annoyance show... Professional. He could be professional. It was just like... No. it wasn’t just like training Lucteal and Daehra. Or when they busted Zak out... If it was, things wouldn’t be so damn hard   
“Umm... Excellent energy, Nerlo, but why don’t we keep that for the course? You’re going to need all the energy you can get. Now, because your friend decided she’s going to glare at me, your name is gonna beeee... Rachel”

Acxa covered her face with her hands, a small groan escaping her lips. Zethrid and Ezor both snickered audibly, as Keith covered his mouth with his hands. As much as her like to say he wasn’t petty, “Rachel” had rubbed him the wrong way. When no one bothered to correct him, Lance gave an exaggerated shrug   
“Soooo. I’m Lance, Keith’s husband and Acxa’s brother in law, because she’s dating my sister and she’s like a sister to Keith... and saying it like that sounds creepy. Now. Krolia has given me full permission to test your skills however I please, then report back to her. Keith and I have been here for the last 4 quintants in preparation for this. However, Keith has no idea what’s about to happen. If you’d all like to get your comms out, I have mapped out the area in play. I’ve divided the course into four segments around the clearing... ya’ know what, it’s going to be easier if you’re looking at the map when I explain. I can’t just send you the map in a bulk message thanks to our friend the sun, so we have to do this the old way with cords”

Transferring his maps to Keith, Acxa, Zethrid, and Ezor, they passed it along to the recruit. Lance wasn’t about to take the subtle bullying from ”Rachel”, as he refused to speak until she’d pulled up her map on her holopad. Smiling sickeningly sweetly, Lance continued as he manipulated his own map  
“Excellent. This looks good. So, because I’m not an arsehole, I took pity on you all. Using the standard specifics of the older model Cruisers that we encountered as Voltron, I took the area of the top three floors and drew my area boundary 3 miles long, so it runs parallel to the escarpment about 5 miles away... Now I’m distracting myself. On your maps, the nice friendly yellow circle is this clearing. As you can see, there are four areas for this training exercise. Today you’ll be in the shiny green area in the northeast corner. I’ve hidden half a dozen targets for each team to retrieve. If you don’t retrieve them all, you won’t be able to pass into the next quadrant”

Zethrid crossed her arms, eyebrow raised. Yes. It sounded super easy   
“The aim of this task is to operate on limited information, and iron out the kinks before we take this show on the road. I may be Keith’s husband, and for that, I know a whooooole lot of what I said, you all blanked out. Since the moment you all arrived, I’ve dropped clues. I also had the benefit of having Kosmo by my side, and I’ve climbed a tree or two in my life. You’ll need to find out tracks. Each target will give you a partial hint towards the next one. It might say something as simple as “left” or it might say something like “36”. Your job is to work on the information you have, then make and draw correct conclusions. If you pass out the boundaries, you’ve got the dead. Climbing in and out of ships unnoticed is harder than it sounds. In my sector of space, you go in guns blazing. I’m not going to shoot you, but you will incur a day delay... and that will interrupt the next activity... and the next... you’ll get it when we get there”

Patting his leg, Kosmo obediently trotted over to him. Wrapping his hand around the wolf’s blinged-out collar, Lance allowed himself a tiny smile   
“You’re all going to break into teams. Kosmo will be staying here with me. Because you can’t always take a magical cosmic wolf everywhere with you. You’ll be maintaining “radio silence” between the teams. If you’re seen by another operative, your mission could go to quiznak... and you’ll occur a 6 varga time penalty. Time for the teams! Zethrid, you will be working with Nerlo on finding the pink targets. Ezor, you will be working with Krystaal and Melda. Your targets are blue. Acxa, and Rachel 2.0, your targets are like a shiny black grey. Keith, that leaves you with Regetta and Legre... to find the purple targets. Yeah, that should work... See, the thing is guys, sometimes you’ve gotta work with people who aren’t like you at all. You’ll find your first targets only a few trees in. If you can’t find it, come back and I’ll show you. If you get lost, stuck or injured, call for Kosmo and we’ll come help you out. I suggest you take both your blasters and your blades, as well as water. The forest isn’t air-conditioned like a nice big battle cruiser, plus there are no convenient vents to hide in. The terrain out there can be unstable, so always watch your step. Your suits can withstand most damage, but that doesn’t make you invincible. Be alert... and have fun. I’ll see you all in... well, the quickest time Kosmo and I laid out a track and got back was 2 vargas by foot alone, so I expect you’ll be back by sunset. If you’re not, stay where you are. I’ve got all targets mapped, so we can trace your movements... that and the best tracking dog in the universe. Right. Go. Get whatever else you think you’re going to need and can carry on your body”

Giving them a small wave, Lance turned his back on the group, hoping they’d leave sooner rather than later as his stomach had started rolling halfway through giving instructions. So far his secret seemed safe, his scent caught in the protective weave of his bodysuit. Following him happily, Kosmo licked at his gloved fingers in search for the pats he knew he was going to get as soon as the others left. Lance planned to get a few vargas sleep provided his pregnancy allowed him, as well as staying out of the direct heat, and keeping hydrated. Then he’s work on the small explosive devices he wanted for stage three of the exercise. None of the teams would suspect it, but when they collected their targets, the “information” they successfully collected came together to produce 4 of his mother’s best recipes. They needed to give him a code word from the recipes for them to move onto part two... which was the same word for all four teams. Maybe that was slightly douchey, yet he couldn’t wait to see the looks on their faces. Sometimes you went through hell sneaking around, all for it all to be for nothing. That was another lesson he wanted to drive home. The thought of being penalised was just for added measure...


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a word of warning, the next few chapters are so heavy on angst I made myself depressed. I guess it’s a spoiler, but no one dies. I wanna assure you of that.

Lance was fucking with them, and Keith quiznakking knew it. There was no way in the known universe that Krolia would ever send them on a stealth mission, onboard a heavily guarded cruiser, simply to retrieve the word “Tomato”. And what in quiznak’s holy name was his husband thinking!? Not only were some of the targets buried, no, Lance hadn’t stopped there, the little shit had sent him balancing up a half-fallen tree trunk, climbing into a tree, climbing up said tree, swapping over to the next tree and nearly breaking his neck in the process, all to get a clear shot at the target hanging off the top of the tree. Lance was a shit and he knew it.

Having made dinner for them, Lance was the model image of “relaxed”. His husband kicked back on the grass with Kosmo. Deciding he needed revenge for the sheer amount of nature he’d been forced to get to closed to, Keith snuck up and shook out his sweaty hair over his husband. Shrieking and laughing, Lance tried to protect himself from the raining droplets of sweat, Keith dropping down to rub his sweaty hair all over Lance’s face  
“You. Little. Shit. Tomato”  
Taken by surprise, Keith’s whole world flipped upside down as Lance pinned him to the grass, Kosmo darting in to lick at his face while Lance held him down. Scrunching his face up and struggling got Keith nowhere  
“Gagh! Pl... Uh! Stop it! God! You’re a menace! Lance...”  
“Alright. That’s enough Kosmo. I think he’s learned his lesson”  
Releasing Keith’s hands, Lance grabbed him by the breastplate of his bodysuit, pulling him in for a rough kiss, before pushing him back down against the grass. Fuck... The move shouldn’t have been as hot as it was... He was supposed to be mad at him... But how was he supposed to be mad when Lance was smiling down at him with the sun shining down almost creating a glowing aura around his husband  
“Congratulations. You pass... provided you brought my targets back to me”  
“Of course, I did. What were you thinking?! Some of those targets...”  
“Some of those targets were in dangerous positions. I know, and yet, I’m fine. Not one tiny scratch or damage”

Sighing at Lance, Keith didn’t understand how Lance didn’t understand the danger he was in. His husband was happy to charge into danger. This was a training exercise. It didn’t need to involve him nearly killing himself. Sure. 5 quintants without Lance hurting himself or freaking out was surprising and should have been relieving, yet that could change at any moment. That’s what left him feeling so conflicted. All Lance wanted was for someone to accept his skills, and sure he was skilled as hell, but he still had their twins to worry about. Any fall from the higher target locations would have caused serious damage... So why wasn’t Lance treating his body with more respect?!

“You don’t need to be so cocky. We all cleared your training exercise”  
Shrugging, Lance wriggled in his lap. Keith biting down a moan at the friction against his crotch. Lance’s scent was sweeter and sweeter by the day. He wanted to roll his husband over and... do all sorts of things that would make him blush  
“You cleared part 1. Of four. You do remember that it’s four sections right. How did you like my clues?”  
“Clues!? You call them clues!?”  
Huffing, Lance raised his hand up, looking at his fingers before counting with his right hand. The smidge of arousal Keith had felt as he looked at Lance’s missing finger. If he’d been stronger, Lance never would have lost his finger  
“The words, numbers and signs. The way they were carved. The extra letter drags. The spots Kosmo messed up for me. Plus there was the extra damage I left around to hell you all out. You had plenty of clues if you paid attention”  
Keith didn’t have a witty reply. He hadn’t noticed half that... Not the way they were carved, but he had noticed the slight “tails” pointing in the direction of things... It was shameful on his behalf, but he hadn’t expected anything so intricate from his husband. His team hadn’t even been the first to arrive back. That honour went to Ezor, who was no doubt going to lord that over them for phoebs to come. Then again, she did have Krystaal with her, and he tended to notice these small details  
“Hey, I’m allowed to be rusty in the field when I had to spend the whole day away from you. You have no idea how much I missed you today...”

Groaning at him, Lance climbed to his feet, offering his hand  
“You get no special husband treatments. And sweet talking won’t change a damn thing. Now go grab a shower and come for dinner. Mum Krolia let me grab a few things before I left, and stocked up the jet”  
Krolia was definitely playing favourites. She too was sick of goo, but given it was the staple for undercover missions generally insisted they keep “outside” food to a minimum. His mother may have underestimated how hands-on Lance would be when it came to group training, instead, thinking of this as a holiday where they could reconnect. They’d had sex, but for Keith, things were up in the air. He... He wanted his children to grow up on Earth... But didn’t want to take the outpost away from Lance. The only concession he could make was having the twins at the outpost and spending extended time with them before they moved to Earth. Diabazaal... He dreamed of the empire finally finding peace, but when he thought about how warm and loving Lance’s family was, he wanted that for their children.

“You cooked dinner dinner? And not just flavoured goo?”  
Glaring at him, Keith has clearly upset his husband. Yes. He wasn’t dumb. He knew he’d cooked something given that everything was set up for serving. But he wasn’t a mind reader, nor did he have x-ray vision  
“You don’t need to sound so shocked. I do eat semi properly, you know”  
Not lately he hadn’t. Jus because the ration bars were chock full of vitamins and minerals, it was hardly the wide variety of fresh vegetables and fruit Lance should be eating  
“Usually we stick to field rations”  
“Usually you don’t have to walk through the forest to find that all your efforts were to recover the word tomato. Live a little on the edge. Go crazy. Take a shower. Eat some real food. Take your doggo for a walk”  
“I’m not completely sure what the point of tomato was”  
Reaching forward, Lance flicked him in the middle of the forehead  
“The idea was that sometimes you go sneaking around thinking you’re going to get great information, only for it to be a dud, even from your most trusted sources. But you can’t let it get you down. You need to continue on with your mission until you finally achieve your goal. I used mami’s best recipes for this”  
“I was wondering why I had a craving for empanadas”  
Frowning deeply at him, Lance was thoroughly done with him  
“You’re an idiot. Your recipe wasn’t even for empanadas. Empanadas aren’t the same thing as bean chilli. Shoo. Go do things. I’m going to listen to everyone complain about how I tricked them. They either think I’m more mentally damaged than they’d heard or the biggest arsehole in the universe”  
“Babe... You know I don’t like it when you do that...”  
“I was joking. It was a joke. I guess I can’t even make jokes right. I’ll just go back to bed”

“That’s... what?”  
Keith was confused as hell. He was only trying to say that he didn’t like Lance joking about it because he didn’t let slight brain damage stop from his doing his fucking best. His husband didn’t need to go back to bed, looking as if he’d been insulted or maybe even a little gut-punched. Lance had done his best. Keith just wasn’t sure of the way to tactfully say as much, without sounding as if he thought it had, or implying that wasn’t the same as he was before everything went down. He wasn’t. But he was trying to be... scratching the back of his head, Keith was grateful that Lance hadn’t simply walked away  
“That’s not what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying. Look. You did a good job out there, ok. I wish you’d acted more... I wish you hadn’t put yourself in danger. So I’m mad at that. And not just because of the twins... But... you’re right. Sometimes you do go through hell and get fuck all in return. They need to learn that lesson before we take them out on high-level infiltration missions... God. I’m not making sense. I love you. I wish... I fucking wish you could see that. I wish you didn’t have so little confidence... You survived so much... I don’t want you dying over training these guys”  
“If I wasn’t pregnant, you wouldn’t care what I did. Admit it. Admit it, Keith. You don’t think I can do this!”  
Whoa... wait? What?! Hold up...  
“Babe... that’s not it at all... I know you’re capable”  
“Then what is it? What can I finally do to make you see me?!”  
What now? Had he missed something? He didn’t think he’d said anything worth making his husband so upset...

Their yelling was starting to draw attention. Grabbing Lance’s hand, his husband yanked it free with a glare. In the corner of his eye, he could see Acxa watching them from where the others were starting to serve themselves dinner  
“I can’t...”  
“So you can yell at me, but we can’t go somewhere and talk about this, Lance?”  
“I can’t talk to you because I don’t... I need to calm down... I’m sorry... I don’t know why I lost it... I don’t know what I’m saying... But I do know that I’m more than just your baby carrier”

Marching off to where he’d set up camp across the clearing, Lance didn’t look back. Lance was more than “pregnant”. At least his husband knew he’d lashed out, and that he was sorry for his actions. Keith just didn’t understand why. Blaming it on hormones seemed like an excuse... And he wasn’t sure how much of the sudden flip was hormones and how much was Lance being on edge from having the recruits here. He didn’t even know pregnancy hormones worked... His mother said she felt slightly crazy... but Lance always felt slightly crazy... For now, it was best he let his husband calm, then try talking to him later. Besides... Lance was annoyingly right. He was skilled and needed to trust that. He’d had Kosmo, and despite his arsehole placement of targets, he’d probably had a contingency plan in case he’d fallen... He might love his twins... yet now he was wondering if Lance felt forced to carry them because of him, and not because Lance wanted a family with him... because he definitely didn’t want his husband to feel that way... He... had no idea what to do... all over again.

*  
Sitting halfway up his scouting tree, Lance was on his comms to Shiro. One tick he’d been laughing with Keith, and the next he was biting his husband’s head off. He’d been so mean to him for no good reason... And now he was hiding up a tree... all because he’d been stupid. Pulling some dorky face to make him laugh, Lance gave him a weak chuckle. He hadn’t said anything at all, Shiro hanging on to the silent conversation, letting him come to him  
”Thanks, old man... I fucked up so badly today”  
“Is that why Keith tried to call?”  
Sniffling at Shiro, Lance was now squandering all Shiro’s time for himself  
“Dios...I should go...”  
“No. Curtis can handle Keith”  
“That’s not how it works... Keith likes you more. You’re his brother... I don’t even know why I snapped... I tried to make a joke and then... And then I was abusing him... and now I’m up a tree because I messed it up. I messed everything up. I told him... I told him that I feel like nothing more than the incubator. I worked so hard Shiro. I spent four quintants working my arse off, trying the hardest I could to make him see that. And it... I had so much fun...”

That was true. He’d had fun. He’d gone slightly crazy talking to himself over target location, and making each and every target a challenge after the first clue, but he’d been proud of his efforts. He hadn’t given up. He’d worked harder on it than he had anything else for movements... He just... He wanted to be recognised as a good team leader. He knew what the recruits must think of him. He hadn’t earned his way onto the team. He’d married in. 

“Lance...”  
“I know! I know I messed up. I... thought that we’d work things out, but he hasn’t given me an answer on anything. He tells me he loves me and then... but... he got mad that I put myself in danger setting up the training course”  
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lance could see Shiro wordlessly chanting his personal mantra. He never should have run to Shiro  
“I’m sorry... I’ll let you go”  
“Have you two talked? Sat down and had a proper conversation?”  
“No... I was giving him space to come to his decision”  
Groaning deeply. Shiro brushed his hair back from his face  
“I didn’t want to be involved in this. But you’re both missing each other over this issue. Keith is scared about becoming a father. It’s completely thrown him. He thinks he’s going to be a bad father, and he’s terrified that your children will end up the foster system. He wants to be a good father. He wants you. He’s scared having the twins might cost him, you. He doesn’t know what to choose if it comes down to it. No. He knows he’ll choose you every time. And it scares him that you might hate him for it. He loves you, and he’s scared. He doesn’t know what you want”  
Lance’s bottom lip wobbled. See. It hadn’t been that hard for Keith to talk to Shiro... Why couldn’t they talk like this?  
“I don’t know what I want either! I’m scared. Everything is going to change. Everything between us is going to change. Our whole dynamic. We can’t... we can’t take missions or do... our thing. I don’t even feel human right now...”  
“You and Keith, it’s going to be hard. There’s going to be sleepless nights. Long nights. Nights you wonder if you’re going to make it to tomorrow. Nights you’re going to cry your eyes out. But you have us. You have Krolia. You have your parents. You don’t need to be alone in this”  
“So what do I do? How do I tell him I should go back to the outpost?”  
“You want to go back?”  
Why was Shiro so confused  
“I have to. I have to don’t, I? That place means the world to me. I built it up from nothing... and... Hunk’s wedding. What kind of person am I, if I don’t go? If I’m supposed to give birth then... I won’t be recovered. I won’t be recovered from a cesarean. And... I know twins come early, but what if there are complications? He’s going... I don’t think I’m strong enough to tell Hunk and Pidge”  
“You’re not the only one worried about this. And keeping it from Keith isn’t going to help”  
“I’m not trying to keep it from him...!”

Only by some minor miracle had his call connected in the first place, Lance knew he shouldn’t be calling Shiro as it was, yet also knew he’d go slightly crazy trying to understand what was happening in his own head. He didn’t. Not anymore. Not like the old him. He didn’t know what was PTSD, or was brain damage, or anxiety, or what was depression. He called Shiro to calm himself before approaching Keith again, and with the magnetic storm raging in the heavens somewhere, it’d only be a matter of time before the call disconnected. He didn’t have time to be getting snippy at Shiro.

“... I’m not trying to keep it from him. But I want to feel like I’m me. That somewhere in this... body... I still exist. I can’t work out how to work any harder, and with everyone here, I’m starting to feel like I fucked my way into this job”  
Shiro wrinkled his brow  
“I didn’t need to think about that. You are you. You’re entitled to what you feel. Allura was the one who changed your body because she believed in you and Keith going the distance. He knows it’s hard for you. He knows how uncomfortable you... you... you... feel in... in... in... your own skin. I know you would have worked your hardest... est... est... est...”  
Watching the video of his comms seemingly stutter and freeze in places, Lance couldn’t help but feel he’d gone and jinxed his luck by thinking about the magnetic storm  
“Sorry, Shiro. You’re...”

With a split tick of warning Lance heard something whizzing through the air. The next thing he knew, he was falling backwards off the tree branch he was perched on after something collided with the side of his head at a substantial speed. Unable to stop the fall, pain blossomed as he hit half a dozen branches, scrambling in some weird attempt to grab a branch while protecting his stomach, and being dazed over what was happening. It was a few very long short ticks before Lance was landing on his side with enough force to drive his breath from his lungs. His head smacking against the leaf litter with enough force for him to taste blood as he passed out where he lay. Bruises rushing to appear across his soft skin, as the world continued on unaware of the solid thudding or silent scream Lance had left out as his world flipped upside down.

*  
“Keith!”

Having watched Lance until he was a blob of colour across the clearing, Keith had headed off for that shower to cool his head. He’d thought he’d spent at least a varga in the shower, it’d certainly felt at least triple that as he replied his conversation with Lance, trying to pinpoint what exactly had upset him so. He’d half-heartedly tried to call Shiro, yet due to the magnetic storm, the call didn’t connect. Even if he had talked to his brother, it would have been the same things they’d talked about before the panel all over again... but now he had the added worry that Lance felt forced into this pregnancy. Was it normal for someone to still be so up in the air over it all? Even a movement later? Hoping Lance was up for talking, Keith had literally just stepped foot off the ramp of his ship, when Acxa was screaming his name. Spotting her coming from the direction Lance had been, Krystaal was jogging behind her with something in his arms, as Kosmo yipped at the pair. Something was wrong... His frown heavily set on his face as he started jogging towards the pair.

“Keith, it’s Lance... He must have had a seizure... Kosmo was barking and when we came to see, we found him...”

Acxa was breathless with worry. Lance laying limply in Krystaal’s arms. His right cheek heavily bruised  
“L-Lance... Give him to me!”  
Krystaal seemed started as Keith choke whisper of his husband's name turned into an angry growl. No one was allowed to touch his husband. His instincts kicking up a stink, despite Krystaal and Acxa being friends. Taking Lance from Krystaal, Lance scrunched his face in pain, despite being out of it. Balancing his husband with his knee, Keith brushed his fingers through Lance’s hair. His husband had winced when his head met Keith’s arm. Finding a bloody mat of hair, Lance whimpered softly. His husband must have fallen... He was bruised. Dirty on one side. He must have hit his head and split the skin... Fuck...  
“Acxa, can you come with us? I’m going to need you to open the door for me. It’s probably too late, but hold off explaining what happened until I talk to him... I think this idiot was up in that damn tree again”  
Acxa nodded quickly  
“He must of had a seizure while up there... We’re lucky he hasn’t seemed to break anything...”  
Keith hadn’t thought of the fact that his husband could have broken a bone. They shouldn’t have moved him until they’d made completely sure that Lance was completely alright...  
“I’m taking him to our room. Then we need to scratch what’s left of his camp. I know he's got everything planned how he needed it for these training exercises...”

“I can help”

Krystaal may have been standing before him, yet the man might as well have been invisible to him. Lance had all his attention, Acxa he was talking at, rather than to  
“We have this. Go back to camp”  
“Keith... Let me help. You’re my friend. What can I do?”  
Keith felt a growl rising at Krystaal questioning his orders. Friend or not, he didn’t want to be pushed when he needed to tend to Lance. Biting down the growl, he instead snapped  
“If I needed you, I would have assigned you a role. Acxa, we need to get him assessed”

Laying Lance down on their bed upon his ship, Lance’s long eyelashes fluttered. For a guy, his husband had stupidly long eyelashes. Hushing his husband before he could say anything, Lance wasn’t conscious enough to reply or do much more than groan at him  
“Keith, I grabbed the first aid kit just in case”  
Setting it down by Keith’s feet, Keith nodded at Acxa to indicate he’d heard her. He couldn’t go ahead and strip Lance in front of her. Not only because Lance might have an accident, but because with his small budding breasts and stomach, weren’t like the long lean lines Lance had sported at Christmas time  
“Make sure no one disturbs us. He might be anxious or confused if he’d concussed”  
“Will he... be ok?”  
“Yeah. He has crazy fast healing thanks to what Allura did. He’s going to be fine. Sleepy, but fine... Can I ask you not to tell Veronica? This is the first seizure he’s had since we got here. He probably forgot to take his medication... he was waiting all day to know what we thought of the first quarter”  
Lying through his teeth, Keith was getting angsty over having to wait. He needed to see if Lance had hurt his stomach in the fall. Patting him softly on the shoulder, Acxa then made toward  
“I’m not sure how I feel about the code word being “Tomato”... I liked that it wasn’t something we’d done... Tell him that”  
“Thanks, Acxa”

Stripping Lance off, most of his husband’s bruises were on his arms and legs, his stomach miraculously spared during the fall, though with the heavy bruising on Lance’s side, his husband would probably be feeling sore and sorry for himself for the next few quintants. Shimmying Lance’s boxers down, he didn’t see any signs of bleeding between Lance’s legs as he pulled his fingertips back from his husband’s opening  
“Buy a man a drink first...”  
Jumping at being sprung, Keith glared down at Lance, leaving his boxer briefs half down his thighs as he scooted up the bed  
“What were you thinking?! You had a seizure and fell out a tree!”  
Grunting at him, Lance propped himself up. Pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a whimper, before lowering himself back down  
“You’re lucky you’re still in one piece!”  
“Mnmm. What’s the damage, Doc?”  
“You hit your head on something, when you seized”  
Lance barely shook his head before abandoning the motion  
“Didn’t have a seizure”  
“You were found unconscious at the base of the tree. You obviously had a seizure”  
“Nnn... I don’t remember falling... but didn’t have a seizure”

Lance was seriously fighting him on this? Keith was still recovering from the minor heart attack his husband had given him, and now he was picking a fight!?  
“So you fell out of the tree for no good reason. And why were you even up the tree to begin with?”  
“I think my head hurts”  
“You think!? You fucking hit it on the way down”  
“That doesn’t seem right...”  
Sighing heavily, Keith hung his head as he took Lance’s hand in his  
“Babe. There’s no shame in having a seizure if your meds aren’t working, then we can always go back to Altea. Do you have any idea how scared I was when Acxa yelled my name?”  
“Something hit me in the head”  
Shooting up, Lance dropped back down just as fast. Groaning, Lance tried to curl in on himself, Keith feeling a twinge if sympathy at his husband's idiocy  
“Stop moving! You fell out a fucking tree!”  
“I didn’t mean to... I was talking to Shiro... and something hit me in the head”  
His husband was up a tree. Talking with Shiro? And didn’t have a seizure? What?  
“What? Hang on. You were talking to Shiro? Why? And what do you mean something hit your head? Did that cause the seizure? Or did you hit it...”  
“I didn’t have a seizure!”  
Bringing his hands up to his face, Lance rubbed at his temples. His husband’s head was most likely throbbing like a bass drum. He would have offered pain relief if he didn’t know Lance would turn it down  
“Then what happened?”  
“I told you... I was talking to Shiro, then something hard hit my head and I lost my balance... I don’t remember anything else”  
“And you’re sure...”  
“I’m sure... Ugh... can you stop questioning me? My head hurts”  
“Because you fell out a tree you weren’t supposed to be up!”  
“I was talking to Shiro!”

They were going around in a circle. Lance was growing progressive more upset. His eyes were teary, and quiznak if Keith wasn’t weak against them. Climbing up to lay aside his husband, he wrapped his arm around the Cuban’s waist  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You gave me a scare... I just... I don’t understand why you’d be up a tree?”  
“I... I fucked up...”  
Starting to cry, his husband shook hard. Keith could almost taste the self-loathing and pain coming off him  
“Shhh... Don’t cry...”  
“I called Shiro and broke protocol... because I hurt your feelings... I didn’t mean to snap at you!”  
“No. No. I don’t know what you’re thinking about if I don’t tell you. You did a good job. Acxa said so too... but this here, this was what I was afraid of happening. You could have died. Or broken a bone. We can’t call out for help right now... I don’t even know how you got through to Shiro, I couldn’t... but if he was talking to you... that could be it too... Fuck. I’m mad. I’m mad at you for being off the ground. And I’m mad at me for not being there. If Kosmo hadn’t found you and alerted Krystaal and Acxa... you could have been bleeding out...and I wouldn’t have been there”  
“All I want to know is what you want! You’re my husband but... I don’t know how to cope with this p-pregnancy”

Hushing Lance again, Keith had learned his lesson over not believing him. He didn’t believe Lance had received an envelope of photos, and likewise, he didn’t believe that his husband hadn’t had a seizure. Unlike last time, he was keeping his mouth shut over it  
“I don’t know how to cope either. It’s like all... everything is going to change between us... That’s still no reason to be up a tree”  
“I wanted to... escape to think... I didn’t think anyone would look for me up there... I wanted some alone time”  
Time alone... didn’t equal calling Shiro. Why could Lance talk to Shiro, and not to him? This wasn’t the first time either. Lance had insisted on talking to Shiro before they’d left Altea... Perhaps his husband was still mad about him not believing him? But Lance had seemed to bounce back by having something to do... Was it because of all the current unsaid things?  
“Alright... I’m just going to say it. I want to raise the twins on Earth. I want them to go to school there... and I want them to know your family. That’s if you decide to keep them... I don’t think of you as just the carrier of our babies. If you don’t want this pregnancy, I want you to feel you can tell me. I don’t think I want to bring you into the field again. Not when you’re spending so much alone. I’d feel safer if you were on Daibazaal”  
“Then what was the point of me even being here and not at the outpost. I thought we were going to work on our marriage... Today... was a hiccup. I’ve been better... I’ve been better so don’t throw me away...”  
“I’m not throwing you away. I don’t think my heart could take anything happening to you”  
“Something hit me in the head... I was fine before that”  
“And what if you’d been higher up?! You could be dead”  
“I know... I know... but don’t... I don’t want you to leave me... I know I’m stupid and brain damaged... and useless... but I don’t want you to leave me behind... I thought I could be brave... don’t leave me for him”  
“For who?”

A few ticks passed, Keith, shaking Lance’s arm gently  
“For who? You’re my husband, babe”  
Lance let out a breath that tickled Keith’s neck. Holding still, he realised Lance had either fallen asleep or passed back out, now he was going to have to monitor closely for the night, rather than talking and cuddling. Concussions could be worse than they seemed, especially when his husband decided to get in the head the first place. Who the quiznak was he supposed to be leaving his husband for? He loved Lance. Maybe Shiro knew who Lance thought he was planning on leaving him for? They’d finally been talking, then his husband went and dropped that on him, before passing out!? Frankly, he was tired of this shit. These partial conversations. Though he had been the one to push Lance after he’d knocked himself out. Fine. This time was his fault... but like quiznak was he going to try starting this conversation again until they were safely alone, uninjured and well-rested.


	20. Chapter 20

Feeling Lance wriggled away from him, Keith tightened his hold around Lance’s waist. His husband had woken twice during the night, both times due to his aching head, and needing to pee from all the water Keith was forcing him to drink. Having cleaned the sizeable lump that had formed, the cut across the top wasn’t all that deep or serious, but being a head wound, it’d bled a ridiculous amount. Seeing the wound was relatively small had been a relief. He’d also finally noticed that his husband’s underwear was still down... which wasn’t his fault when he’d been more concerned about Lance’s lucidity.  
“Babe?”  
Tugging his hand away from his waist, Lance was sweet as he leaned back to kiss him on the forehead. He didn’t want Lance out of his view for more than a dobosh. He’d said as much each time Lance needed the bathroom. The Cuban let him help him the first time. To the door that is. Keith then evicted so he could pee in peace, left to sulk  
“Morning sickness...”  
“‘k, do you want me to come with you?”  
“No. You sleep”  
“Love you”  
Kissing Keith’s forehead again, Lance barely got out his reply before bolting  
“Love you, too”

Unable to truly fall back to sleep without Lance in his arms, Keith dragged the top blanket along with him towards the bathroom. Hitting the open button, he found it devoid of Lance. His heart skipping an uncomfortable beat. He wasn’t there. Tracking his way back to their room, he found Kosmo wasn’t there either, yet now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember with a hundred per cent accuracy that Kosmo had been on their bed. Still, Kosmo not being there was barely a drop in the ocean when compared to the rising panic of Lance doing a runner on him. Whatever it was, whatever was bothering him, he could have back to their room so they could talk about it. Even if Lance wanted to take Kosmo for a walk... He still needed to know things like that. Grabbing his boots, he ditched the blanket on the floor as he went about forcing his feet into his boots. Why was Lance so fucking stubborn!? He’d said he was going to throw up. Not vanish from the ship like that was a thing Keith allowed around here. Nearly forgetting his comms in worry, he doubled back to find Lance’s still there. His husband was grounded. When he found him, he was grounded.

Storming down to the cargo bay, the ramp was already down. Various items from their camp lay across the top as if hastily thrown in. Sitting in the dark, Zethrid was staring down the ramp at something invisible  
“Have you seen Lance?”  
Walking up to stand beside her, Zethrid tilted her head back to gaze up at him  
“He said he couldn’t find Kosmo so was going to have a quick look around camp”  
Idiot. His husband was an idiot  
“It looks to me like you packed up. Did something happen?”  
“It started raining, so we moved into the ship. I offered to help him look, but he said he’d be right back. That was half a varga ago. I wanted to go after him, but if I woke everyone up, Ezor would question what I was doing out here in the first place”

Half a varga. Lance could have run laps around the whole clearing in that time. Keith would have stepped on to the ramp if it wasn’t for something in Ezor’s tone that stopped his legs from moving. Zethrid was hard to read until you get to know her, like many Galra she still saw weakness as cowardly, despite the strength it took to admit you’re not doing ok. He felt the pull to ask her what was wrong, as clearly as if she’d tugged on his hand  
“Are you alright? Did something happen with Ezor?”  
“Do you think she’s happy?”  
Keith shifted his weight, nervously rocking forward onto the balls of his feet, before dropping back  
“I’m pretty much the worst person in the universe to be asking that one to”  
“When you and Lance fight, how do you make up?”  
“What happened? It’s not like you and Ezor to fight”  
“I don’t know... Maybe we’re not supposed to be together”  
“That’s crazy. You adore each other...”  
“Do we?”  
Zethrid was acting strange... Her and Ezor were one of the last couples Keith thought would ever hit the skids. The way they communicated was almost telepathically. All it took was a single glance between them, to express so much more than a varga long conversation  
“Ezor is mad about you. And you’re mad about her. Have more faith in your relationship. Ezor’s not the type to keep her mouth closed if she’s unhappy. If something is bothering her, then try talking to her. Lance and I... we haven’t been doing to great when it comes to talking. But we’re trying to... It’s mostly my fault. I’m not as good with words as he is. I don’t mean to upset him, sometimes we go quintants without talking. He usually caves before I do. Why don’t you head back to bed? I’m going to go find out what happened to Lance and Kosmo”  
“You think she’ll see me?”  
“I think out of everyone here, you’re the one she wants to see the most. Have faith in yourself. I do. I’m heading out, I expect not to see you here by the time I come back”

*  
Wandering around the forest close to the clearing, Keith was starting to get pissed. The puny amount of light coming from his comms barely cut through the overwhelming darkness. Tree shadows had him jumping, his heart thudding uncomfortably hard. Calling out Lance’s name for the umpteenth time, the half-Galra was getting kind of sick of yelling for his husband. The dripping rain had soaked his light shirt into a dark murky grey. Kosmo was responding either. He may just kill the pair if he found them curled up sleeping. He was done. He was cold. Directionally misplaced. Miserably. And slightly murderous  
“Lance! You better answer you damn shit! Kosmo!”  
All of the trees looked the same in the dark. He had to have been trekking for at least a varga now. How could Lance have been so stupid as to go walking the dark!?

Tripping over another tree root, Keith was done. Opening his comms, he forgot about the magnetic storm, nearly throwing his comms in a fit of rage before forcing down a breath and redialing... and redialing... and redialing... and... finally quiznakking answering  
“Acxa. It’s Keith. My dumbarse husband has gotten himself lost”  
Sighing in annoyance, Acxa flared at him  
“What do you expect me to do about that? He’s your responsibility”  
Jerking backwards, Keith growled  
“And I’m your commanding officer. Gather the others and meet me here”  
“Fine. Don’t blame me if no one wants to come find him in this weather”  
First Zethrid was acting weird, now Acxa was pissed. He couldn’t blame her. It was lousy weather, yet she wasn’t usually so pissy. With the call cutting out or Acxa hanging up, Keith hoped she wasn’t too pissed to come find him...

*  
Being stuck in the middle of the forest was not Lance’s idea of a good time. For one, he didn’t have his shoes with him. And for two, he’d spent the last however long trying to untangle Kosmo from the thick brambles he’d gotten his coat caught up in. Finding Kosmo missing shouldn’t have been a surprise, yet when his fur son had refused to leave his side, he felt lonely without his warm and comforting weight... and worried he’d gotten himself into trouble, which he had. Whimpering softly, Kosmo had a deep scratch across his nose and blood around his muzzle from where he’d tried to get himself free. Apparently, he was so stuck that he couldn’t teleport out.

“Lance! Kosmo! Where the fuck are you!?”

Barking at Keith’s voice, Kosmo wiggled, tangling himself further. Their son was stupidly stuck. Stupidly stuck for no good reason  
“Stop it!”  
Lance’s fingers had been pricked for pieces trying to free Kosmo. His whole body tail wag scratching them up further  
“Lance?! Kosmo!?”  
“We’re over here! Kosmo needs help!”

There was a long few moments of silence, before a scream. Kosmo bolting forward, cutting himself as he took Lance out as he tore clumps of out fur without dislodging himself completely  
“Lance! Where the fuck are you!?”  
Lance was torn between Kosmo and Keith. Kosmo was stuck, but Keith’s scream... Keith was the only one who could have screamed  
“I’m sorry buddy. I’ll get your father and I’ll be right back”  
Kosmo whimpered at him, pawing sadly  
“I’ll be right back. I promise. Keith! Keith, I’m coming!”  
“Over here!”

Jogging through the dense forest, Keith wasn’t terribly far from their location. His husband leaning heavily against a tree  
“Keith!”  
Rushing to him, his husband slapped his hand away with a growl  
“Where the fuck were you!?”  
“Kosmo...”  
“Kosmo, what?! What have you done to Kosmo!?”  
Lance ignored his husband’s anger, not that it didn’t sting as if he’d physically struck him, but because Keith had screamed. Keith was hurt and Keith wasn’t used to being hurt  
“He’s stuck in brambles... I’ve been trying to get him out... What happened?”  
“He’s stuck in brambles, and you thought you could get him out!? What kind of idiot are you!?”  
“A complete one. Now, what happened?”  
“Something went through my fucking boot!”  
“Stop yelling at me! I’ve been picking fucking brambles out of Kosmo! Show me your foot”  
“You’ll only make it worse”

Lance was done. Soooooo done. Swatting down, he lifted the foot that Keith wasn’t weight-bearing on. Running his fingers over the base, he could feel the ruffness  
“I think a bramble went through your boot. Wrap your arm around me”  
“What do I need to do that?”  
“Enough with the attitude! I’m going to support you over to Kosmo, so I can get him free and we can get you medical help”  
“None of this would have happened if you weren’t here”  
“Oh get fucked. No one asked you to follow me. I was going to get Kosmo unstuck and come back with him”  
“You should have woke me up! I thought you were going to throw up!”  
Keith was acting strange... His scent... was weird. It itched Lance’s nose, stirring something in his instincts  
“Kosmo didn’t come when I called him... Stop being such an arsehole. He can’t get out. You can at least limp. He’s stuck and he’s hurt”  
Standing up, Keith slapped him off away again. Lance had known that Keith would most likely be mad... But it was Kosmo. Their fur son. Kosmo would charge into danger to rescue them  
“You know what. I’m going back to help Kosmo. When I heard you scream... When he heard you scream... we both went into a panic. He tore himself on the brambles trying to reach you. And you can’t keep your tongue long enough to care. So stop being a dick”  
“Fine. Whatever”

With his arm around Keith, he led him over to Kosmo who was still fighting to free himself. Growling, Keith pushed at him, resulting in his husband falling on his arse. Letting him fall, Lance stalked back over to Kosmo, only to be joined by Keith a few ticks later  
“Get our the way, I’ll do it”  
“I’m working on it”  
“Right. That’s why he’s covered in scratches”  
“He had most of them when I got here. Go sit down and raise your foot up. Don’t disturb the bramble. It’ll be bleed like a bitch if you do. Plus, we don’t know how embedded it is”  
Starting to work on the brambles, Kosmo whined softly as he licked at Lance’s arm  
“So now you give a shit. I have to hurt myself for you to care”  
The lump that had been swelling in Lance’s throat finally caught. He felt as if he’d never breath again. His words breathy and low, as his chest tightened  
“I’m sorry... I’ve always cared...”  
“You don’t! All you care about is having things how you want them! You probably got yourself pregnant so I wouldn’t leave you”  
“I... didn’t...”  
“Please. We all know you need to be the centre of attention. Why don’t you sit in the corner and scoff down those pills? Oh, wait.  
“I’m Lance, I don’t need to do what the doctor says, because I’m such a screw-up. Hahaha”  
“Shut up!”

Scrunching his eyes closed, Lance forced his fingers to keep moving. Keith was in pain. Keith was in pain. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t. Trying to tell himself that wasn’t doing anything. Keith was right. He was nothing more than an attention-seeking whore. He couldn’t even do his heat right. He couldn’t... he couldn’t take his pills. He couldn’t control his emotions around Keith. Keith didn’t want to be married to him any longer. He knew it. They couldn’t fix this. Keith didn’t want to fix this. Because he wasn’t worth it. Keith was like a bright and guiding light, while he was the dank sewers that the light never reached.

“Nothing to say? That’s not like you. Usually, I can’t get you to shut your mouth. You keep yapping on and on. You’re so fucking useless. No wonder Allura had to off herself in order to get away from you. You couldn’t even kill yourself properly”

Keith’s words cut bone-deep. This wasn’t lashing out from the pain. This was a precise attack on his heart. His husband able to finally voice his thoughts, and stop hiding behind his lies. Everything must have been so hard for him. Putting up with him. Fucking him. Listening to him talk on and on...

“There you two are! What the quiznak do you think you’re doing!?”  
Speaking for the group, Lance turned back to see Ezor standing in front of their companions  
“Lance fucked up and got Kosmo stuck”  
“That sounds about right”  
Zethrid following up with  
“He’s so fucking useless”’  
Now he’d hurt Zethrid and Ezor? He hadn’t meant to... Zethrid had seemed down when he’d passed her, but she’d assured him she just needed some space to breathe  
“Get our the way. We’ll get Kosmo out”

Shoved out the way by Zethrid, Lance landed awkwardly against his bruised side. He knew Keith didn’t believe that he’d been hit in the head and that’d been what caused him to fall from the tree. Taking out their blades, the group started working to free Kosmo, each of them sniping at each other as they did. Something was wrong here. Very wrong. Zethrid and Ezor didn’t fight. They were one of those bad arse couples that were secretly adorable with each other in their private moments. He’d seen all the loving glances they sent each other’s way. It made him happy to know they were doing so well. This wasn’t normal. Digging his fingernails into his palms so he had something real to hold and focus on.

“Guys. I think something’s wrong. You’re all acting strange”  
Pointing her blade at him, Acxa’s voice oozed poison  
“The only thing wrong and strange here is you”  
“See! That’s it! You’re all acting aggressive!”  
“Because you’re nothing but dead weight!”  
“There’s something wrong with this planet!”  
“Then leave! You’re useless! I don’t know why my girlfriend has to waste so much of her precious time on you! She doesn’t even want you in the family!”  
“It’s not you saying this! It’s... the plants or something!”  
“Don’t make excuses for your weakness!”

Accompanying his yelling, and so loud it drowned out the screaming reply of Acxa, the brush litter across the forest floor rustled. Shuffling, creaking and snapping, the leaves danced as if on strings  
“There’s something in there!”  
Lance felt as if he’d angered the planet. The moment he’d said something, the air in the forest changed. His senses were telling him that they were no longer welcome there. Not once had he had that feeling while setting things up. It felt as if the forest was angry at them for existing. The brambles around Kosmo, that Keith’s team had been hacking at, started to regrow at an accelerated rate. Getting to his feet, Lance ran towards Zethrid, wrapping his arm around her waist and trying to pull her away. Shooting forwards her, the bramble twisted around her blade hand. Screaming in pain, Lance was thrown back as she tore away from and grabbed the bramble. Beneath his arse, the ground rumble, as if the planet was shrugging. Feeling it start to rise again, the Cuban rolled on all fours, making it a few inches before the ground beneath him gave way. His hands unable to find purchase as he slipped backwards, nails cracking and tearing in his struggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is completely not tooo blame at all. Maybe a smidgen... 
> 
> Double update day because I had an ok day helping my friend at her thrift shop...


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GARGH!  
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO MY AMAZING READER WHO POINTED OUT I MISSED THIS BIT!!!!

Things had gone to hell. Things had gone to hell and it’d been all his fault. Keith was dying, and it was his fault. His whole team... it was all his fault. If only he hadn’t gone after Kosmo. If only he’d woken Keith up when their fur son failed to come at his call. Now Keith could be dying, but no one had come to tell him what was going on. He’d been shunned. Forgotten... Unwanted... Abandoned.

*  
Waking in pitch darkness, Lance hadn’t been able to do anything. His fall twisting his knee in a way he was sure his knee wasn’t to go. Gingerly, he felt at the spot, crying out in pain as his fingers brushed his hotly swollen knee. His sweats torn from his slide down on his arse. That couldn’t be good... That couldn’t be good at all. Calling for Kosmo was all he could do. He couldn’t get himself out, because he couldn’t see anything. 

Left calling for Kosmo, Kosmo finally came to him. Wrapping his arms around the cosmic wolf, he buried his face in Kosmo’s dirty fur. Without his comms, he couldn’t call for help. He couldn’t hear anything come from any of the others. Nuzzling against his shoulder, Lance held him tight as Kosmo licked at him, his full weight across Lance’s leg left  
“I’m sorry, boy. I can’t get us out of here... I’m so sorry. This is all my fault... I fucked up so badly. You’re so special to me... but... I messed up”

Kosmo stayed with him, snuggled up and keeping him warm until the wolf was recovered enough to teleport him back to the ship in multiple bursts. His leg couldn’t bear his weight. His calls to Krolia wouldn’t connect... Pawing at him, Kosmo was begging him to go back for Keith. For his real father. Lance hadn’t intended to leave them. Not... not when... No. This was all his fault. He had to help Keith’s team... Kosmo first. 

Kosmo obeyed his command to sit still as Lance cleaned his wounds, then bandaged his torn up legs, and scraped nose. He’d pulled the splinters out that he could, but some of the deeper ones would most likely require surgery. The brambles like a cheese grater where Kosmo had stripped away his protective fur layer. Nothing seemed broken, not when it came to Kosmo. His knee was another story. Cutting away the remnants of his pants leg, his knee was three times its usual size. Ugly and pulsing with pain. Gritting his teeth, Lance had nothing to make a splint from, so bound his knee as firmly as he could. He probably lost the twins... He’d probably fucked up everything to the point it could never be fixed... He... He owed to Veronica to save Acxa. He owed it to Keith to save him... even with what he’d said... All he’d wanted to do was help Kosmo... maybe, just a tiny bit, prove to Keith that he could serious and competent when it counted. After all, he and Kosmo had boobytrapped half the forest in the third and fourth quadrants... Kosmo was smart, but he could be a dopey fool, especially when chasing prey...

Returning to the cave insight, Lance was constantly hitting his comm button, praying to anyone listening that someone would pick up. He’d tried Shiro. He’d tried Krolia. He’d tried his mother. They were the three contacts he kept dialling over and over as he went about setting up. The rain had finally come to a stop while he’d dressed Kosmo’s wounds, the eerie feeling of the forest remained, yet as he tied the rope he’d found around the base of the most stable looking tree in his work base, nothing naturey tried to kill him. The leaves overhead rustled, but that was only due to the cold breeze in the air... The forest had fallen silent again. This was important. He wasn’t sure how it factored in, but he knew he absolutely had to remember this. He had to remember everything. Whatever had infected the team could still possibly infect him. Or perhaps he’d been infected already and didn’t know? Running the rope to the edge of the crumbly creator, he tied off the second piece of rope. He had his comms. His knee might have been too busted for him to be pulling this abseiling bullshit, but if his babies were gone, and his marriage was over, nothing matter anymore. Not his life. Not his health. Nothing.

Reaching the bottom of the cave in, brambles lay broke across the muddy, leafy floor. Whistling to Kosmo, the space wolf teleported down to join him as Lance turned the light of his comms on. For some reason, everything from his and Keith’s camps was piled up in the ships cargo hold. Using Kosmo for support, he’d dragged his useless leg around as he’d gathered supplies. He wouldn’t be able to move everyone at once, yet if they got them out the hole then... then the hard part would be over... Get them up. Get them out. Get them back to the ship and take care of the wounds. He had to protect them... He’d failed them... He’d... he’d go back to the outpost after this. He didn’t belong here. He wasn’t smart. He also wasn’t stupid... but he was.

Working through the night and late into the following quintant, Kosmo helped him uncover the others. Keith, Nerlo, Melda and Acxa all had deep prickling from the brambles along their faces. Zethrid on her arms. Ezor had a nasty gash to the forehead, and head... floppy thing? Krystaal had been buried alive with Legre, Legre trying to shield him in the fall. Regetta and Second Rachel were unconscious but seemed relatively unharmed when compared to the others. Lance was on the verge of collapsing from the continuous teleporting back to the ship, followed by the walking back to the sinkhole. Kosmo was in rough shape, he wasn’t about to make hi-Keith’s precious puppy overexert himself any more than was necessary.

Treating everyone’s wounds were overwhelming. His guilt felt as if it were physically eating him alive from the inside out. He couldn’t stop crying, and for the first time in his life, he’d... he’d had to perform an emergency tracheotomy. First then Keith’s lips turned blue from lack of oxygen due to an allergic reaction, then ticks later when Acxa had also taken a dramatic turn downwards. His stupid comms still wouldn’t connect with Krolia. Everything he was doing felt like stop-gap measures. He’d isolated their clothes from that night... just the outerwear with bramble still caught in it... He might be married to man, yet he was still hopelessly bi-sexual. Acxa, Keith, Zethrid and Ezor knew as much. The last thing he wanted was to upset them further. The Cuban only removed what was absolutely necessary for treatment. He kept the bramble debris. He’d fallen into sobs when he’d pulled Keith’s boot off and found the bramble piece had gone right through and was caught in the tongue of his husband’s boots.

For three quintants he barely slept. Unless he passed out. He barely ate. His knee was still completely useless. He didn’t want to give up... Everything hurt. Everything hurt and he just wanted to go home. He’d stopped calling Krolia. He’d stopped calling Shiro. All he could do was hit redial on repeat. He wanted to go home to his mother. He wanted to curl up in his bed, high enough that his stupid brain would shut up, but aware enough that he knew she was there. He was so tired. His eyes playing tricks on him. His heart skipped a beat thinking one of the squad were awake, only for it all to be in his mind. That’s how he nearly missed his chance for help.

Calling home again, he’d lost count of the number of time’s he’d called. Sitting with Keith laying unconscious next to him, he’d dialled as he changed the cold compress on his husband's forehead. It was all he could do. Every day checked everyone’s wounds. He removed any particles of debris forced up during the bodies natural healing, then cleaned the wounds out, slathered them in antibacterial cream, and dressed them. Having run out of supplies the same day he’d finally been able to recover everyone, his gauze and bandages were made from butchered bedsheets. Gazing at Keith’s pained face, he would have given his heart and soul not to see the expression his husband wore. His black hair hung so limply. The bags under his eyes so deep and sunken that he couldn’t stare for more than a few ticks at a time. When his mother’s small voice came through the comms, the tears he’d thought he’d cried dry come flooding back with a crackling sob  
“Mami?  
“Mijo? Mijo, are you crying?!”  
“Mami, we need help. Our mission went wrong and everyone’s... everyone’s been hurt because of me”  
“What happened? Are you safe? Are you ok?”  
By now he felt so guilty, he couldn’t remember what it felt like not to feel that way. His mother’s innocent questions felt as if someone had dropped a cruiser worth of guilt right into the pit of his stomach  
“I can’t get through to Krolia! There’s some kind of contagion on the planet! They’re not waking up...! I... Mami... it’s all my fault. Keith’s... dying. Acxa’s dying... I ruin everything... I... can’t lose him... I can’t...”  
“Alright, Mijo. You’re alright. You stay strong. I’m going to call Krolia and tell her. I’m going to get you help. You’re so strong, my boy. So strong. You’re all strong”  
“He... might not ever wake up...”  
“Hush... He will. I know he will...”  
“He wants a divorce!”  
Wailing into his comms, his call cut out. His mother probably hadn’t heard him anyway. If Keith was awake, he’d tell him none of it was real. He’d tell him he was hallucinating... what he wouldn’t give for that... his husband was... his husband was so gorgeous. His goofy hair. His soft thin lips that were always warm as he spoilt him with love-filled kisses. His soft milky white skin, that burnt far too easily in the sun. His hands... his hands were the hands of a man who could break him in half, yet they were the soft warm hands of the man he loved. The rise and fall of his chest as Lance lay with his head near Keith’s heart, letting the strong rhythm lull him to sleep as if it was the sweetest lullaby in the world. His quick temper. The way he pouted when he couldn’t figure something out. The way he pouted and scrunched his brow up in a huff over losing. The heat of Keith’s body as he slept in his arms... His husband was the single most precious gem in existence. Hundred’s would have damned their soul for a chance to tame Keith, yet Lance had. He’d shackled his husband and called him his. He’d done the impossible and found someone to love him... only, Keith didn’t. Not anymore. Soon those amethyst eyes would look to someone else. Those words of love they whispered, would be whispered to someone else between the sheets. All the expressions he’d memorised, wouldn’t be just for him anymore. He’d fumbled things so badly. The only course left to them was separation. He’d seen the signs coming. The hair flicks and causal shoulder bumps with Krystaal. The non-stop talking over the man when Keith came home. The fact Keith had felt the need to hide that Krystaal looked like a Galra god... and he was male. The way Keith lit up... like used to when it was just the two of them. Krystaal boosted Keith up, where Lance weighed him down.

*  
Making himself scarce, help arrived the following quintant. The only thing strong enough to withstand the magnetic solar storm was the triple-reinforced shield of the new prototype cruisers the Galra were developing. Dressed in full Blade outfits, the reinforced waterproof fabric, and inbuilt filtration system prevented contamination or infection as one by one Keith’s team was recovered to the safety of the ship. The fighter jet they’d been leant, as well as Keith’s own ship, were quarantined in the abyss of the lower levels of the ship, Lance along with it. He’d handed every sample he’d collected over. Begged them to help Keith, Kosmo and Acxa. Was forced to strip naked and be hosed down, before given a fresh set of clothes and let loose on the cruiser. They’d tactfully allowed him his privacy as he went through the procedure, or maybe they’d been so angry and disgusted with him that they’d hoped it would turn him to ashes as if he was a vampire in the sun. Lost, and lonely, he stayed near the entrance they’d taken to get onto the ship, curling up to hide in the stairwell closest to the main doors. It’d be a pain leaving everything behind, but the first chance he got, he’d be doing the only thing he’d ever done right in his life. Leaving. Leaving before he ruined things further.

When the ship landed at the Palace, Lance slipped free. What he hadn’t accounted for in his brilliant plans was that his Mami and Veronica would both be waiting. Rushing to him, his mother pulled him in tight. Lance’s good knee half giving out as he melted into his mother’s arms  
“Lance, what’s going on? What happened to Acxa?!”  
Wincing at his sister, he had no words for her  
“What went wrong!? She said it was a simple training mission! What happened?!”  
Whimpering away from his sister, someone else must have appeared from the retrieval crew because Veronica was pushing off of them and running suddenly  
“Oh, my poor baby. What happened? Are you alright?”  
“No... Mami... I... everything’s a mess”  
Rubbing his back, his mother held him tighter  
“Whatever it is, we can work it out together”  
“I’m pregnant... and Keith wants a divorce... my knees ruined. I failed the mission. I failed Kosmo. Everyone got hurt because of me... I don’t... I don’t know what to do... I don’t know anything... I don’t want to be here... can you take me away?”  
“Lance, you’re not making any sense, Mijo”  
“I’m pr-pregnant... or I was... I’m so scared...”  
“Space has muddled your brain, sweet boy. You can’t babies...”  
“I can if my ex-girlfriends changed my body... please, Mami. I can’t face everyone... I don’t want them to know”  
Clinging to her blouse as tight as he could, Lance was so scared that she’d reject him on the spot. He didn’t know how he was going to tell her, yet now he had, he wanted to never let her go  
“Keith... he hates me so much... I was so stupid... of course he doesn’t want a freak like me... no one wants a freak like me...”  
“You stop that right now. Keith is crazy about you. He absolutely adores you, and don’t think for a single second that I doubt that. You’ve had a big scare. We need to get you to the hospital”  
“I don’t want to go”  
“Lance”  
“I deserve this. I’m a failure. I was so happy that I got to prove myself... I’m useless Mami... he said he understood why Allura killed herself to get away from me”  
His mother let out a mortified gasp  
“That can’t be. The Keith I know would never say that”  
“He’s right. I’m loud and always in the way. I’m stupid and self-centred, and I take up all his time... I thought we could make our marriage work, but he wants me gone”  
“I’m sure it must have been the pain. I’m sure that’s not how he feels”  
“Mami!”

Yelling at his mother, Lance broke down into hard sobs. He didn’t want to be on Daibazaal. They were going to kick him off the planet the moment they heard how worthless he’d been  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Mijo. Here, come with me and we’ll get you some help”  
Shaking his head like a toddler, he’d already told his mother he didn’t deserve help  
“You’ve has a horrible shock. Please, Mijo”  
“I can’t...”  
“Lance”  
“I can’t... not here... they’re all going to hate me”  
“I’m sure that won’t be the case”  
“You weren’t there Mami. Keith’s team... it’s like their elite go-to team and I hurt them all!”  
“Then come. Come home with me, Mijo. I don’t like you out here as it is. I worry for you so much. Come home to Earth”  
“I can’t”  
“Lance...”  
“I can’t! Keith wants to raise the twins there... but... I’m not ready...”

With everything catching up to him, his mother waved over a medic. Strangers hands and strong arms helped him on to a gurney where he was blinded by a penlight. Pressing against his right knee, Lance shrieked in pain at the pressure he was being tortured with. By his side, his mother swayed on the spot as his leg was revealed. Most of his body now a massive bruise, given he’d taken two heavy falls in the space of 12 Vargas. Holding his hand, his Mami stayed with him the whole time. There to soothe him when he caught a glimpse of Keith being wheeled away from him. It’d taken four Galra to hold him down as he screamed for Keith. His hand reaching out, despite knowing he’d never make it to him. With a small pick to his arm, a sedative was introduced to his system, his body falling numb as the Galra released him, his mother’s soft voice near his head as he wheeled further from his... from Keith.

Awake and lucid mentally during the examination of his leg, it wasn’t broke, only a bad sprain that would require him to be on crutches. Lance would have preferred they’d drugged him completely. Knocked him out so he wasn’t basking in the delicious feeling of nothingness that his body had taken on. They’d sedated him without his permission. He’d been so damn careful. He’d worked so hard not to fall back into the habit. His body had craved this feeling as if it was as important as drawing his next breath. Now it’d been forced upon him again... He didn’t deserve such a welcome release, not after he’d nearly gotten Keith’s team killed. Working himself to the bone to take care of the team was the least he could do. He deserves every single pained movement. He deserved every tweak and twinge that had him chewing up the inside of his mouth so as not to cry out in pain, out of fear of waking the others. He kept a full log of their temperatures, heart rate and recovery. None of it was enough though. He’d failed. Krolia would never let him out the in the field again.

*  
Pain medication was glorious... But not as glorious as his Mami... Maybe tied. She’d brought him clothes from home, that smelt like home. When they’d heard nothing from Veronica, Krolia, or any other number of Galra working in the hospital, she’d raised hell to get information for him. Keith and Acxa were both awake, but the whole team was quarantined until the contagion left their system. Due to her planet selection system being only mostly random, Krolia had been sending them to planets that hadn’t been visited by the Galra for some time. With no records, Krolia had no idea that both the rain and the organic matter on the planet triggered violent fits in Galra. Kolivan had been the one to make that discovery when presented with the analysis from the water, clothes, and plant samples Lance had bagged up. None of the team had been in control of their actions. The news should have been welcoming, yet it wasn’t. He wasn’t some kind of computer where he could flip a switch internally or click on a file, then delete all the bad shit. If every his brain injury needed to make him forget, it was not, yet the stupid traitor didn’t.

His Mami was also glorious in the way she let him out of bed to shower, against doctors orders, then demanded the sheets changed while Lance was enjoying the sensation of mint in his mouth, and not being covered in mud and dirt. Making the mistake and catching himself in the mirror, anguish hit him all over again. He deeply regretted being the idiot he was. His body was heavily bruised, the only place semi healed was the bramble scratches on his hands. Now he was carrying twins, every ounce of energy went to them. His healing had slowed once getting off the drugs, though it was still faster than the average person.

The third way that his mother was glorious was she sprung him from the hospital, and back to Altea. Krolia had barely left Keith’s side, sitting on the other side of the quarantine shield as she watched over him. Kosmo hadn’t left Keith’s side either. Too scared to face Keith, his mother scolded him gently for running, yet having been forced to accept that Lance may indeed be pregnant from his changing body, she arranged for him to receive medical care on Altea. Kolivan delivered them personally, which was weird and awkward. Perhaps the man had realised that Lance had been left nearly newsless for far too long, as he spoke in a rushed hushed tone. Zethrid, Keith and Acxa were being monitored closely, breathing tubes removed and Keith was a shit mood. Ezor was driving everyone crazy. They were administering care to each other so no one else would be contaminated, yet Lance was lucky. Under normal circumstances, the anger was infinitely more violent. If the group hadn’t been rendered unconscious, they all would have turned in each other. Essentially everything they did and said was the direct opposite of their usual thoughts and actions. Kolivan used far too many words to spell out the same thing Lance could sum up in three. Mission doomed from start. Sure. It was four words when he said it out loud, but if he’d talked at the same speed as Kolivan, it would have been one-word garble. Nothing but stubborn, he refused to allow himself to sit during the quick flight over. His arm was looped over his Mami’s shoulders, and in his head, he was already making a dash for freedom.

Barely two vargas later, Lance was remembering why never told his mother anything. Not about his body at any rate. She’d kept his secret on Daibazaal, yet when sitting next to him as his belly was ultra sounded, she was demanding answers. So many answers to so many questions he didn’t have the answers for. She was furious with him for hiding that Allura had changed his body. Confused that her son. Her biologically externally male son was carrying her grandchildren. And furious all over again that his marriage with Keith had hit the skids when they had two innocent children coming. She knew Keith wanted a divorce. He’d sobbed it into her shoulder so many times that he’d sounded like a broken record. She’d witnessed him having his first seizure when everything had hit him between doses of sedatives and realising he cared more about the drugs than he did Keith’s twins... Yeah. He wasn’t winning any “Son of the Year” awards any time soon. If anything she was madder than ever since meeting her future grandchildren... But that was more at him keeping his mouth shut after being exposed to the contagion, as both the twins' vitals had been a little lower than expected, and he was now trapped in hospital on Altea, with sensors stuck to his belly and his leg propped up so high that his muscles were cramping. He didn’t need the extra pillow beneath his knee... One had been plenty. Two had been a “fussing mother”. Three constituted revenge on her behalf. Laying on the slim bed, Lance watched as injection after injection was pushed into his IV line. Saying no to anyone earned him a scowling from his mother, then she’d apologise to the nurse and explain it all away as “He’s just come back from a traumatic mission and doesn’t know what he’s saying”. He knew exactly what he was saying. Keith was going to be so mad at him for letting himself take the painkillers. She just didn’t get it and he couldn’t explain it. Dissolving into an argument, he’d very nearly told her “to fuck off back to Daibazaal and Veronica”, when Coran came rushing in... His mother throwing up her hands in defeat and storming out the hospital room, leaving with the parting comment of “Maybe he’ll listen to you because he refused to see reason from me”

Left alone with Coran was infinitely better than being with his cranky Mami. With Coran, he could ask for what he needed, and he did  
“Coran, you can you please take the IV out... Mami won’t listen... I don’t want the drugs... please...”  
“My poor boy, you’re bruised from head to toe. Are you sure? Krolia filled me in on what happened”  
“Please... I can’t go back there”  
He meant he couldn’t go back to being an addict. Though he probably couldn’t go back to Daibazaal. Walking around to the left side of the bed, Coran nimbly slid the cannula from him the crease of his elbow, moving Lance’s right hand from his stomach to apply pressure where the needle had just slid free. Fiddling with the cord, he looped it up out of the way, before sitting on the edge bed  
“Thank you... Mami doesn’t... she doesn’t know... and I want it so bad...”  
Reaching out a kind hand, Coran wiped at his tears with a soft smile  
“I’m sure she was only doing what she thought was for the best. I see you’ve been hiding something from me”  
Biting his bottom lip, that same guilt he’d harboured for quintants flipped his stomach  
“Don’t worry, my boy. I’m sure it came as a tremendous shock to you and Keith”  
“I’m sorry... I wasn’t ready... I’m not ready”  
“Shhh... I’m not mad. I’m worried though. Krolia said the mission went wrong. Keith’s been restless since he woke, he didn’t take you leaving Daibazaal well”  
“He wants a divorce... He doesn’t love me anymore... He always has to take care of me and he’s done. He can’t do it anymore. Mami won’t listen... To anything. We haven’t... planned for the twins. I lied to her. I don’t want people knowing I’m pregnant... so many things could go wrong so we weren’t telling anyone... but Shiro... now she knows and she’s going to tell everyone and I can’t... they...”

Leaning down, Coran drew him into a firm hug. Lance moving to hug him back  
“You don’t have to tell anyone you don’t want to. Have you talked to Keith at all? Or Shiro?”  
“N-no... Kolivan filled me in... but Krolia didn’t come see me... Veronica yelled at me... and Coran, it felt so good to feel numb... I nearly killed them all... but all I can think about is getting high”  
“My dear boy, no. If that’s all you could think about, you wouldn’t be so upset over Keith. You do know that the toxin you were all exposed to...”  
“I know. Logically I know... but they all came looking for me. And I got them all hurt... They were right. I’m useless... I’m useless. I talk too much. I’m always being taken care of... It was like I was hearing every one of Keith’s thoughts”  
“Keith loves you”  
“But he’s always forced to take care of me. No one even offered to let me see him... They only told me anything because Mami made them... How am I supposed to face Krolia? I’m knocked up with her grandkids when she’s busy with her own pregnancy. No wonder she doesn’t want me near Keith”  
“That’s not true at all. She was quite upset you were transferring here. Keith’s been asking for you, but he’s been in and out of fits of anger. He was quite distressed to hear you’d left Altea”  
“It’s probably just the toxin...”  
“Krolia assured me it wasn’t. He remembers everything that happened...”

That only made Lance feel infinitely worse. It would have been better had he not remembered at all. Yes. He was being selfish... but it’s far easier to pretend nothing had happened if he was the only one who remembered.

“... he said he really wanted to see you and really wanted to thank you for helping Kosmo”  
Not for keeping them alive. Not for changing the cold compressed. Not for picking every piece of bramble free that he could. Not for nearly vomiting at the sight of the thick bramble through Keith’s foot, or the red tendrils radiating out from the stinking oozing wound. No. Because he’d caused it all  
“I can’t... You don’t know... it was all my fault”  
“I’m sure it isn’t... Why don’t you tell me how it happened?”  
“I quiznakked up”

Coran released him from his hug, moving his hands to hold Lance’s face as he leaned back to break the hold  
“Lance, you have always tried your hardest. You’ve always done what you thought was right”  
“I’ve been a hormonal bitch”  
“You are most certainly not a female dog from your planet”  
Coran gave a weak chuckle at his own joke. Such a “Space Uncle” thing to do  
“A hormonal horrible human than. I worked really hard to make up the training exercises fun. Keith was teasing me and I snapped at him... I snapped at him when all he was doing was being himself. I’m a horrible husband”  
“Stop that right now. Your body is flooded with hormones. You’re stressed. Tired. Injured. Hurt by the words of the others. Though they did not need it. Covered head to toe in bruises. And blaming yourself for natural planet conditions. You can’t control the weather, Lance. Not that I know of... though there was the one time you zapped Keith... No. I’m sorry for digressing. Please tell me what happened”

Explaining what happened to Coran, Coran listened to all his stupidness with the same gentle consideration that he always showed him. Talking to Coran was completely different from talking to his Mami. He could talk to him about the cravings he’d been having, despite the shame he felt. He could talk about falling out the tree the night before, without being made to feel quiznakking stupider. Humming and “ahing” when appropriate, Coran let him talk... though Lance wasn’t entirely honest with him. He neglected to tell the Altean about the photos, he’d seen the photo of him with Klearo, but not the multiples on the now broken holopad. He couldn’t tell him. Keith thought him crazy over it. Shiro listened. But trying to talk to Keith over talking to Shiro... he’d smelt Keith’s jealousy. No matter what happened, he wasn’t getting between the two brothers.

“I think you should return to Daibazaal to talk to him”  
Lance felt somewhat blindsided. Coran was supposed to be on his side. Not agreeing with his Mami  
“Before you say no, I believe that if you do not talk to him, Keith will track you down himself”  
“I can’t talk to him”  
“You can. He’ll listen”  
“I can’t!”  
“If you see him, I’m sure you’ll...”  
“He’s in the same room as the others... We can’t talk alone”  
“Ah... Ah! You could send messages via your comms! No one would see”  
“Keith hurt his arm...”  
“Uh uh uh. You’re making excuses. He only needs one hand to use him comms. I’m certain he’s as deeply distressed as you are”  
“It’s not just me to think about...”  
Snowballing wasn’t working. Playing the pregnant card wasn’t working either  
“Precisely why you should reach a decision and resolution sooner rather than later. If you and Keith do divorce, know that you’re always welcome here”  
“I... don’t know what to do without him. I guess I’ll go back to the outpost and try not to die before Mami meets her grandkids”  
“And what about you?”  
“I don’t know how I feel about it”

Coran got that misty look in his eyes that he always got before launching into a story of the past  
“I remember that feeling all too well. You should have seen Alfor when learned his wife was with child. He was sure he’d drop her. Forget her. Or harm her with his strength. The day Allura was born, was the proudest day of his life. He was prouder of her than anything he ever created, including Voltron. All new parents have the same fears. It’s natural to be afraid”  
“Our marriage... is barely a marriage. I didn’t want to leave the outpost, but I thought... I wanted to be with him, Coran. I was so sick of not seeing him. He was always training. Always working. I’d rather he dump me properly then feel like I’m still being strung along”  
“All you’re giving me is reasons why you should see Keith. I can come with you if you want?”

Knowing he should go see Keith, and having the courage to follow through, were completely different reasons. There were... He was with... Things would be different if Keith were alone. If they could speak in privacy... He was still too much of a coward to see him... but if Mami was there... she might be able... She adored Keith. Everyone adored Keith. Keith was adorable. He was rugged. Manly. Grizzled. He oozed the kind of raw sex appeal that left Lance so far in the shadows he wasn’t even an afterthought. He was smart. Passionate. Dependable... Wonderful and so incredibly giving... He loved with a fierceness that scorched the senses. Standing beside him in battle... His supple body. The way he danced and moved. At one with his weapon in its entirety. He loved his husband ridiculously. And now he was seeing how right he’d been about not letting him in. Not letting his walls crumble. Because the weight of the pressure on his chest felt like an impossible burden to carry. His precious husband had been hurt because of him. His husband who’d spent countless nights soothing him back to sleep. Who’d held him through bouts of nightmares. Nuzzled and kissed his nightmares away. Who’d made love to his body until he felt infused to Keith with his very soul. Keith who he still fought with, but now had learned how to say sorry. He was still terrible with his words, but not with him. Not with Lance... because Lance understood mostly what his husband truly wanted to say. Hearing “I love you” from Keith was like walking on clouds. The worlds rolled off his lover’s gifted tongue and swept away his worries as if he were a summers breeze. If he didn’t face Keith, then this dream wouldn’t end.

But if he didn’t face Keith, and Keith took a turn for the worst... His barely contained hysteric would burst forth, robbing him of his sanity and reason as it did.

“I’ll... I’ll return... Mami will want to still be there for Veronica”  
Lance’s voice was low. His head felt as if it was beating in time with his heart. He’d cried so much that his throat was wrecked, yet being drugged up erased the pain, leaving behind the effects without the punishment. He knew he was in for a world of hurt when the medication left his system. The medication leaving him flying high like Icarus, yet knowing he would be falling at any moment  
“You’re scheduled for an overnight stay. I’ll see to it that you have a decent meal, and one sent for Miriam”  
“I don’t know what to tell her...”  
Gesturing to the IV stand, Coran gave a nod  
“Let me handle this one”  
“No offence, but you’re awful at lying. No matter what I say, she’s going to insist I don’t know what I’m doing. That stupid needle is going to have to go back into my arm... I...”  
“I’ve changed many an IV bag before. Let me swap the line out for fluids instead”  
Lance gaped. He didn’t mean to gape. He seriously didn’t  
“Just a little switcheroo between friends. If you’re on pain medication, they’re likely to swap to oral delivery upon discharge”  
Tablets... The arch-nemesis of his throat. Simply feeling a tablet in his mouth had him violently gagging. Maybe his body would be happy to swallow down pills on the provision he could finally feel that high again?  
“Do you... Do you have time to do it, before Mami comes back?”  
“Of course. Now let me get you all settled. You’ll feel right as rain after you’ve had a nap”  
A healing pod would have fixed up any deep tissue damage, yet they couldn’t be sure it wouldn’t risk the twins or how his body would flush any remaining toxin. With the twins the most thing going for him at the moment, he’d refused pod treatment. Knowing that the pain he felt was only going to grow  
“You... you won’t tell Mami... will you? She has so much to worry about back on Earth as it is...”  
“You’re safe with me, number three. Let me just pop that new IV bag in, then I’ll get her for you”  
Lance nodded as he sniffled  
“Thank you, Coran. I’m... sorry I didn’t... Thank you for listening to me”  
“Any time”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!!  
I gone done the fuck up!!  
I skipped a chapter by accident!!!
> 
> This is supposed to be 22, not 21!!
> 
> 21 is now up!!
> 
> I'm sorry!

Returning to Daibazaal, Lance felt his “freedom” on Altea was all too short. He’d gotten into a fight with his mother over his pregnancy. She wanted to talk about it. He did not. She wanted him taking his medication. He did not. He won the first argument, before losing the second spectacularly. He understood she was curious and in a state of shock, but this wasn’t how she was supposed to find out. He felt like a petulant toddler stomping after their mother. Not that he could stomp. Crutches for up to a month possibly, made that rather hard. He was hobbling high. Hopping high? Some clever alliteration that had him giggling to himself as he followed his mother towards Keith’s room. Well, it wasn’t Keith’s room. Keith’s room wasn’t anywhere near this wing of the palace. Plus, Keith’s room had all his knives and his bathtub. A bath would be good... A few candles and some bubble bath... That sounded divine... Oh... but Keith was mad at him. He probably wasn’t allowed to use the bath. Or his bed... Or his dick... He could go for a good hard fuck right about now... Blushing at his own thoughts, he giggled again. His Mami would slap him senseless with her pink slipper if she knew what he was thinking.

Waiting for him to catch up, Krolia wandered out the quarantine room, hand on her pregnant stomach as she gave Miriam a one-armed hug  
“Miriam. It’s wonderful to see you”  
“You too, Krolia. You’re glowing”  
Laughing, Krolia broke the hug  
“This little one is all to blame. Keeps me up half the night. I just hope they’re not as much trouble as their big brother”  
“Enjoy it while it lasts. I’ve brought Lance to see Keith. I’m afraid he’s a little out of it. The pain medication they have him on, has had him giggling to himself the whole walk here. They certainly grow height-wise, but sometimes I have to wonder...”  
“Now, both our boys have grown into fine men... for the most part. Keith’s being horribly stubborn. He’s barely talked to me about what happened, more concerned about Lance”  
“Lance has been much the same. He’s convinced Keith wants a divorce. Dragging him here was like pulling hen’s teeth”

Lance felt betrayed. His happy buzz flipping to anger. Turning on the spot, he started to limp away from his gossiping mother. He hadn’t told her that so she’d run off and mock him at the first available opportunity  
“Lance? Mijo? Don’t you want to see Keith?”  
“Leave me alone!”  
Hobbling was faster than relying on his crutches. He wasn’t supposed to weight bare his knee. Lance could count the number of flying fucks he gave on one hand  
“Mijo...”  
Jogging after him, his Mami had the advantage of two working legs. Grabbing his arm, Lance shook her off  
“Mijo!”  
“No! I told you that in confidence! Not so you and Krolia could have a good fucking laugh at my expense! You weren’t there and you have no idea what it was like!”  
His mother’s face softened  
“You know that wasn’t Keith...”  
“It was the toxin! I know! Ok. But we haven’t been ok for months! Fucking months! This is the most time I’ve spent with him since Christmas! We don’t have much of a fucking marriage! And now you’re laughing at me when you weren’t even there!”

“What do you think you’re doing!?”

Storming out of the quarantine room, Veronica marched straight up to him, before slapping him hard across the face  
“You have no right to talk to Mami like that, not when you haven’t been to visit Keith once since he woke”  
Clutching his throbbing cheek, Lance glared daggers at his sister. His mother gasping at her oldest daughter’s actions  
“Oh, fuck off, V. What would you know?”  
“I know you’re upsetting Acxa! She was in tears. I know you’re abusing our mother for no good reason! She came because you called! I know you’re screaming out here, and too much of a coward to go in there! He’s your husband!”  
“I know that!”  
Starting to limp away from Veronica, Veronica yanked his arm, causing his shirt to catch and tear on the handle of the crutch. The action exposing the black-purple bruising up his side and across his back. Veronica’s eyes filling with... Whatever. Lance didn’t want to think what she thought. It had to be either pity, or guilt. If she was feeling guilty, then she’d start kicking herself for fighting with him. Life would be so much easier if you could simply buy normality. He’d throw all the GAC that he had, at his friends and family if it would buy them treating him normally. Straightening himself up, Lance wasn’t sorry over the loss of the shirt. It was one of Keith’s. With Keith being broader than him, it didn’t cling too tightly to his developing breasts or his swelling stomach. He was starting to get too big to start hiding it with his own shirts, and he was barely pushing 10 movements now  
“Don’t fucking say a word”  
“I thought you only twisted your knee”  
Wow. His sister was fucking blind. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, exposing his arm and neck, as well as the small amount of bruising he didn’t know he had on his face  
“And I thought you might know what it’s like for a mission to go wrong. I guess we both don’t know anything... Go back to Acxa. I’m glad she’s doing better”  
“Everyone is doing better, which you’d know if you weren’t so busy running away”

“Veronica, I think that’s enough. Lance, Keith is awake if you want to pop your head in”  
As far as Lance knew, Krolia had never scolded his older sister before. It was humiliating to have his mother-in-law standing up for him. His mother and his sister were staring at him so intently that every bit off of his happy buzz was gone  
“I know it’s hard being here, but maybe if you see that he’s doing better, it’ll be good for your nerves. I can come in with you?”  
Casting a glance up the hall, Lance had nowhere he could escape to. He’d made his way through the halls because his mother was by his side. His loopy mind wasn’t able to concentrate on all the unwanted Galra scents around them. If he’d continued to hobble, he’d most likely have to face the fact he was horribly lost...  
“Fine... but only Krolia... and only for a tick”  
“Mijo...”  
He didn’t want to get there and be stuck talking to Keith. He knew his mother would ask Keith way too many questions  
“It’s quite alright Miriam. I’ll be with him. Do you need a hand?”  
Shaking his head, Lance gathered up his crutches  
“I’m fine”

Krolia was gentle about the whole thing. She didn’t force him to talk as they made their way up to the quarantine room. Pausing to take a deep breath, it was too late to run. Limping in, his heart fell. Sitting on Keith’s bed, Keith and Krystaal we’re sharing Keith’s game console. The pair whispering hotly as Keith’s fingers pressed the controls. Too close. They were way too close. Krystaal’s shoulder rubbing against Keith’s. Keith laughing softly as Krystaal took the console out his hands, then making a grab for it. Keith hadn’t even noticed him there  
“Keith’s healing well. He’s prone to sudden outbursts still. The toxin will take about another three quintants to fully clear his system”  
He seemed fine. He seemed happy. Lance thought Keith would be laying back in bed, with an IV and... not all over Krystaal  
“Would you two give it a rest already!?”  
Yelling from the other side of the room, Ezor was cuddled up in Zethrid’s arms  
“Shut up! Krystaal’s cheating”

He didn’t belong here.

Napping by the edge of the force field, Kosmo woke when stretched, his back leg hitting the force field with a small crackle  
“Its to prevent anyone from walking in or out. We can pass non-organic objects through”  
Explaining softly, they were still standing in the doorway. Krolia close, but not quite touching. Licking at the paw that hit the forcefield, Kosmo looked quite miserable  
“Kosmo keeps zapping himself trying to get to Keith”  
“He’s... gonna be ok, right? Kosmo...”  
“Nothing holds him down. He wasn’t affected by the toxin, only the brambles. Keith! Lance is here...”  
Groaning, Lance took back the mental appreciation of Krolia not pushing him. His husband’s head snapping up at Lance’s name. Accidentally locking eyes with him, Lance’s heart started to hammer. Even sick, Keith was extraordinarily beautiful... Unwantedly, the memories of the planet shot back to mind... Keith didn’t want him  
“Krolia... I don’t think I can do this”  
“Do you need to sit? I know it’s all a bit confronting”  
“I think...”

“Lance!”  
Dropping his crutches, Lance flinched back at Keith’s cry. Guilt clouding Keith’s features as he slowed his actions of climbing off his hospital bed. He couldn’t fucking... he couldn’t do this...  
“Lance, come sit down. You look as if you need a tick”  
Picking up crutches for him, Krolia took him by the arm to lead him over to the camp bed she’d been using. Sitting on the edge, he knew everyone was staring at him. Everyone hated him. Whispering softly, Krolia stared at him sympathetically  
“Is it your knee?”  
“No. It’s fine... sorry... I’m so sorry, Krolia. This is all my fault”  
Sitting next to him, Lance heard Keith growling at his mother’s movements. Ignoring her son, Krolia rubbed his back  
“Take a moment”  
“I don’t think I should be here...”  
“What happened wasn’t your fault...”  
“But it was. It because I went looking for Kosmo that everyone ended up injured”  
“They were exposed to the toxin before then”  
“I fucked up... I did this Krolia. I’m so sorry. I’ll leave your planet as soon as I can...”  
“Lance, you’re overreacting. You don’t need to leave. This is your home too”  
“Everyone could have died because I went looking for Kosmo”  
“You went looking for him because you’re a kind man. Do you honestly think for a tick I would have let you stay had this been your fault?”  
“I don’t know... You’re scary... but really nice too... I thought I was only staying because you had nowhere to send me”  
“No. No. Not at all...”  
“Can I go? I... I can’t even face Keith”  
“He’s really wanted to see you”  
“I can’t with everyone here...”  
“Here, hold my hand”

Holding Krolia’s hand, Lance found himself standing before Keith. His husband had his hands clenched, able to look him in the eye, while Lance gazed down at Keith’s bandaged foot  
“Oh... god, babe. Are you ok?”  
Words? What were words? His tongue didn’t remember how to make them. Squeezing Krolia’s hand in panic, Krolia smoothly replied to her son  
“Miriam just told me he’s a little out of it on pain medication. Your yelling didn’t help with his nerves”  
“It’s your fault not bringing him here earlier. I’ve had to watch Acxa and Veronica being all gross over in the corner. Babe, I’m so sorry...”  
“He’s a little shaken...”  
“Mum, I’m trying to talk to my husband”  
Snapping at his mother, Lance winced. He hated being the cause of a family fight  
“And I’m trying to explain that he’s shaken. He thinks you seriously want a divorce”  
Both his mother’s could go jump. He should have taken up Coran’s offer. Softly, Keith’s voice cut through his anger  
“Lance, will you please look at me? I have something I need to tell you”

This was it. This was Keith confirming it. Raising his head, he ground his teeth together. With wide-eyed and a washed-out complexion, Keith seemed to be staring straight into his soul  
“I don’t want a divorce”  
“Why not?”  
The question burst forth, surprising the three of them. His voice was devoid of emotion  
“What?”  
“Why not? Everything you all said was correct. If anything, it was refreshing to hear the truth from you all. I’m fine. Bruising and a bad sprain. Nothing important. I’ll let you rest. Veronica will be wanting to see Acxa”  
Keith tried to push against the forcefield, hissing when his hands were zapped  
“None of it was true!”  
“It is. I... I’ll stay away”  
“Lance!”  
“I’m sorry”  
He truly was. Sorry he still existed and Keith was bound to him through their twins  
“Babe... No. it’s not your fault!”  
“It is! It’s all my fucking fault! You all nearly fucking died! You and Acxa... Your throats swelled so badly I... I did this to all of you! I’m leaving. I can’t be here. I know you all hate. I know I’m weak!”  
Swaying, Krolia pulled him close  
“That’s enough. Lance, let’s get you resting”  
“Take Kosmo with you! Please, Lance... This isn’t your fault”  
Shaking his head, Lance detangled himself from Krolia  
“He’s your son. Not mine”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to call this the “Keith wakes up and mans up chapter”

Keith was planning his escape. He was miserable. So quiznakking miserable that each night since he’d woken, he’d cried himself to sleep thinking of his husband. The horrible words he’d said haunted his dreams, robbing him of sleep. Not that he deserved to sleep. He’d wounded his husband’s heart so deeply he didn’t know how repair this. Nothing he’d said he meant. His mouth moved without his permission... and his anger... He’d wanted to punch Lance in the mouth until he shut up. He wanted to break his fingers for touching Kosmo. He’d wanted to wrap his hands around Lance’s neck and squeeze until he crushed his bones and coughed up blood. He was so fucking scared of that anger. The fits that had hit over the previous movement had been growing progressively better, yet... He hadn’t been rid of his anger completely. He’d lashed out over his mother being close to his husband, though part of that was because Lance looked so quiznakking scared when their eyes had met. His husband was a walking bruise, Keith seeing why Lance had had to leave for Altea. If he’d been in his position, Keith wasn’t sure he’d have the courage to return. The last time he’d worked in a large group of Galra, their aggression had stripped his soul bare and broken him repeatedly. Keith understood that his husband understood everything said had been caused by the toxin, yet he’d had to hear all his greatest fears falling from Keith’s lips, right when they were in the middle of trying to fix everything. The only thing Keith held lingering anger over was Lance not waking him to explain Kosmo was missing. Especially after falling from that tree. Only a moron would go wandering in the woods without their comms.

Still. Despite the words of he and his team, when disaster had struck, Lance had stepped up. Heart broken, and physically damaged, Lance had worked with Kosmo to save all their lives. He’d tended to their wounds. He’d stayed by their sides, knowing they could wake at any moment and cause him further harm. He didn’t blame his husband. He did blame his mother for the stupid training mission. He blamed the weather and forest for ruining said training mission which would have been a massive confidence boost for his husband. The half-Galra had been genuinely curious about the other three parts of Lance’s training plan. He’d wanted Lance to succeed. He wanted things to go right for his husband. Despite his concern over Lance’s wellbeing, Lance had survived setting everything up. Nothing going wrong until the others had arrived. Then his dumbarse husband had fallen out of that stupid tree.

Watch Lance limp from the room, Keith hissed as his hands hit the forcefield again. He was sick to death of the quiznakking thing. Lance was right there, yet there was no physical way for him to reach out and pull him into his arms. To hold him tight. To feel his comforting heartbeat and the warmth of his body moulded against his as if created by some cosmic entity had sculpted them that way. Two halves of the same idiot. If he and Lance were to hold proper wedding ceremony, he’d like to have that engraved inside their wedding rings... That was provided Lance would let him love him again. Would see sense, and that Keith didn’t want a divorce. That everything horrible wasn’t their truth. Or the truth. He’d been so heartlessly cruel, even mentioning that Allura had died to escape him. His stomach rolled each time he thought of the words. He had no way to erase what happened on the planet... Toxin or not, Lance didn’t deserve any of what was said.

“Keith?”  
Krystaal placed both hands on Keith’s shoulder, Keith didn’t want the comfort. He didn’t deserve it. Lance had been badly hurt, yet he hadn’t been able to stop it. His husband was horrifically bruised, and who knew what the condition of his knee would be. Krolia didn’t tell him much of what was happening with his husband. He hadn’t had his voice when he woke, but that didn’t stop him trying to ask for Lance. Learning that Lance had preformed two emergency tracheotomies scared him. He was selfishly scared that his voice would never return. His mother probably wished that was the case. Keith had thought that if he could see Lance, then things would begin falling back into place. Well, he’d hoped. In order to hope he had to think it...

“Not now, Krystaal”  
They’d sealed the vent... And the generator for the force field was on the other side so he couldn’t flick the switch to free himself. Kosmo was busy sulking from the times he’d repeatedly zapped himself trying to get to him. He hadn’t learned the first time, nor the five-hundredth time   
“Yes, now. You’re putting too much weight on your foot”

Looking down at his foot, Keith found blood seeping from the top of his bramble wound. Wrapping his arm around Keith’s waist, Krystaal supported him back to his bed. Half sitting on his game console, Keith pulled it out from under his arse cheek. Only doboshes ago they’d be swapping turns on his beloved console. Krystaal had never played before, and Krolia had had it brought up to keep him preoccupied as pacing was currently out of the question. Dropping down next to him, Krystaal bumped him with his shoulder   
“Do you want to play some more? You were close to unlocking that piece you wanted”  
“No... I’m not in the mood now”  
His foot was starting to hurt again. His boots has survived near apocalyptic conditions, even magma, but not a thick bramble spike  
“You know it’s not your fault that Lance doesn’t understand. None of us were ourselves”  
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Jumping back off the bed, Keith immediately regretted his actions. Krystaal was only trying to be a friend... and his foot was burning from taking his full weight. Climbing off the floor, Acxa abandoned the corner she’s set up for her and Veronica. The pair of them sitting as close to forcefield as they could, quietly whispering. Veronica was able to see past Acxa’s fits of anger, because she hadn’t taken the physical brunt of it. She hadn’t been slandered by the group. She hadn’t been pushed aside, then left to rescue them all. Keith was a big enough half-Galra to admit he’d wished that it was he and Lance sitting in their own corner. Lance telling silly jokes to make him smile. Keith rolling his eyes, but falling more and more in love with his husband as his face lit up. It physically pained him not to be able to have that with his husband. He felt as if he’d betrayed their vows. Lance was doing it hard. He was doing it hard and Keith had failed. Lance was supposed to be with him so he could protected him. So he could hold his hand and guide him through the trash in his head. But Lance thought them over. Disowning Kosmo was a good as reaching in and ripping Keith’s heart out. Kosmo... Lance would do anything for Kosmo. Even go searching in near blind darkness when scared their fur son had been harmed. And what had he done? He’d hurt him. He’d accused him of hurting Kosmo. He’d filled Lance’s bright eyes with pain and fear. Then resurrected the coolness and disinterest of “Leandro”. He’d felt the same vibes in Lance’s frostiness as he had when he’d reunited with him. As if he his husband was a stranger before him. Not the man he married, nor the man carrying their twins. He couldn’t even ask how they were. He was too chicken shit too... and too scared Lance would interpret anything coded he said, as him caring more for their children then him. Coming to him, Acxa wrapped her arms around him. Her presence silent and strong, until another set of arms wrapped around both of them, and Ezor popped her bubble gum right near his ear. Mumbling against his cheek, Keith felt like crying from the amount of support his team was showing him   
“We all were cruel to Lance. We all hurt him. The things we said were unforgivable, yet he still helped us. He’s always been strong in his own way, but now he’s hurting so badly that I can’t stand it. The toxin is to blame for what happened, but you two can’t talk with things like this”  
Above him, with her chin resting on top of his head, Zethrid agreed  
“You were thinking of how to talk to him, weren’t you? None of us will feel right until he knows how sorry we are. I know they’ve covered the vents, but if I boost you up, you should be able to reach. Once we know what we’re up against, we can formulate a plan on how to get you out of here”  
“You heard him... He doesn’t want to stay married”  
Popping her gum again, Ezor then added  
“Too bad for the little guy that he’s one of us now, whether he likes it or not. I actually enjoyed his training challenge. It was stupid, but Galra training is always soooo serious. Not that you’re not a great commander and all that, but it’s train, train, train. I’m bummed we didn’t get to see what else he had planned”  
“He had so many plans... and he was so happy about it all. He didn’t have a single seizure the whole time we were there... You didn’t hear the worst of it. I told him Allura died to get away from him”

Whispering the second half of his sentence, Keith was mortified  
“Damn, Keith. That’s harsh! No wonder he didn’t want to see you”  
The four of them turned to glare at Krystaal who promptly shut up. No one fucking asked for him to join in on the conversation. Krystaal was a good friend. He’d primarily nursed Keith through the initial fever and fits of anger. His presence so Lance like that he seemed to be the only one who could calm him. When Keith had first met him, he’d been completely unsure of the stranger. He looked uncomfortably Lotorish, setting Keith on edge about his agenda. Since then, Krystaal had proven the only recruit worth getting to know. They could talk for hours under the stars about nothing in particular. Krystaal was intensely curious about Earth, and shared his dream to help heal the name of the Galra across the universe. Acxa and Ezor had teased them about it more than once, but if they were getting results, then what was a little teasing between friends? He was he first friend he’d made in the Galra empire that wasn’t a friend of a friend. Keith trusted him. He hadn’t opened up about his and Lance’s marriage. Though friends something in him didn’t feel the need to tell Krystaal more than he already knew.

Assured silence from Krystaal, the group of four turned back in on each other. Ezor whispering hurriedly   
“If we’re going to do this, we need to do this properly. Acxa, you find a map of the vents for Keith. Don’t even try to deny it. We all know how bad your sense of direction is. Krolia could be back at any dobosh, and there’s only so long we’ll be able to hold her off before she becomes suspicious. Zethrid, you and Keith check the vent out. We can’t do it out here, so you’ll have to use the bathroom vent. When they notice you’re gone, Lance will be Krolia’s first thought. Right. Let’s get this done. We’ll call it “Operation Idiots””  
Keith narrowed his eyes. His first thought was the number of time’s Daehra called them idiots. Keith semi-regretted Lance teaching her that word   
“Daehra talk too much”  
Ezor barked with Laughter  
“You’re one to talk. You and Lance both call each other idiots all the time. Though she did give me a few pieces of juicy gossip that were still holding on to. Right, team. Let’s do this”  
Feeling it was a good time to apologise and thank his friends, no sooner had the words left his lips then Zethrid was smacking him upside the head for lowering team moral. He simply couldn’t win.

Falling into a fit of anger when the vent refused to cooperate, Keith was sidelined as Acxa took his position on Zethrid’s shoulders. Sitting on the lid of the toilet, Krystaal was fussing over his bleeding foot. His foot was fine. It was healing... An infection had formed from the toxin and plant debris, though Lance had treated it the best he could. For his troubles, he’d nearly kicked his friend twice in the face. His own face sporting a thin lipped grimace in frustration over being rotated out. If they’d given him a few more doboshes, he would have figure it all out. It wasn’t hardly his fault that they didn’t have anything suitable for undoing the vent screws on this side. And, he was pretty sure he could have figured out how to get the cover placed inside the vent off, if they’d given him more time before swapping him out for his incompetence. All Keith wanted to do was reach Lance. His body was filled with a sick panic, scared that his husband was having a panic attack, or harming himself over how things had just played out. Lance had worked himself to the bone to help them. His pride swelling further each time he thought of the lengths Lance had gone to to get them all home... while he failed to open a simple vent...

“Keith, do you think this is smart?”  
Raising his gaze from Keith’s foot to his face, Krystaal was frowning   
“What do you mean?”  
“The toxin will be out our systems in a couple of quintants. I don’t want you... Look, I’m worried you’ll snap at Lance”  
“He’s my husband”  
“He’s also scared after what happened”  
“He’s stronger than anyone else I know. He’s just a little beaten down at the moment. Hell, he’s probably one bad scare away from never setting foot on Daibazaal again. But this is too important to ignore. One day you’ll understand what it’s like to do absolutely everything you can to be with the person you love”  
“Then I guess we better make sure you get there in one piece”  
Keith gave a nod. One way or another he was talking to his husband, whether he liked it or not. 

*  
Escaping the confines of the quarantine room, Keith dragged himself through the maze of vents as he attempted to make his way to his room, still unsure that Lance would be the prize at the end of his quest. His profession was slowed by the frequent bending in the piping, some tapering off so narrow he could barely squeeze into the next area. More than once he was tempted to let himself into the empty corridors running below him. The thought of his mother’s wrath, and how she’d prevent him from spending alone time with Lance, kept him confined above... though she probably knew by now that he’d busted out. It wasn’t as if he was contagious. They’d only been quarantined for their angry outbursts. If Krolia expected him to remain cooped up, she was sorely mistaken. This last varga in the vents was the best and worst he’d felt since waking up back on Daibazaal. Keith wasn’t made for simply sitting around and waiting. He was a man of actions, so he hoped his actions would show Lance how much he truly loved him.

Keith knew he’d found the right area when traces of Miriam’s voice reached him. Whoever she was speaking too, she wasn’t impressed over something or other that had happened. Cursing as his foot slipped against the vent floor, the blood rolling down his toes making it hard to find purchase against the smooth metallic walls. When he heard nothing, Keith feared they’d heard him. Clamping his hand over his mouth, his muscles were starting to cramp before silence was finally broken by Veronica yelling back at her. Keith didn’t like that his mother in law being yelled at by Veronica. Miriam was a strong woman, she was also incredibly kind, and a tad meddling, but she’d been through a lot and deserved the respect of her children. Buuuut, her arguing Veronica should mean that Lance was currently unguarded... um... alone. Alone and available... not available... Urgh. He didn’t know what to call it, but the point was that he should finally be able to talk to Lance one on one.

Crawling over the vent for his room, Keith paused to watch Veronica and Miriam still deep in conversation, though they were no longer yelling. On the bed was what must have been Miriam’s suitcase, next to Lance’s closed one. Not spying his husband in the room, Keith carefully shimmied forward, holding his breath and praying to whoever was listening that Veronica and Miriam would continue the conversation while being none the wiser of him there.

His powers of deduction were amazing. Keith mentally high-diving himself as he positioned himself over the vent. Laying in the bathtub, Lance had lost his shirt, his injured leg was hooked up on the side, and his hands were over his ears. He wasn’t enjoying seeing his husband hiding. The half-Galra had expected Lance to be throwing his guts up, or taking a shower. The easier two options to out of all the possibilities. Keith was about to call out to his husband, only to remember that Lance hadn’t exactly been happy to see him. He didn’t want to scare Lance, nor did he want him to run. Starting on the bolts, they were ten times easier from this side... Within the next 20 doboshes, he’d cleared all four, and scaring the ever living quiznak out of Lance as the vent cover clattered down to the floor.

Flailing in the bathtub, Lance tried to escape backwards as Keith dropped to the floor, yelping as his bad foot took his weight, resulting in him tipping sideways and narrowly avoiding ending up in the bath with his husband as he clung to the edges. Any more momentum and he would have wound up face first in Lance’s crotch  
“Lance...”  
“K-Keith!? What are you doing here? Why are you here? How did... No. Never mind how. I don’t want to see you”  
Keith had been prepared for this. Standing himself back up, he reached his hand towards his husband   
“Don’t touch me!”  
“Oh, bite me. I’m simply trying to help you out the bath”  
Lance shot him a glare, manoeuvring and failing to find a comfortable position, yet still crossing his arms in a clear sign that he’d settled in for the battle  
“I’m fine in the bath. Perfectly fine. I don’t need your help”  
“Well I’m not fine! You’re in the bathtub. I saw you in there with your ears covered. I heard Mami and Veronica fighting. I can tell you’re scared”  
Lance scoffed, before parroting back first dismissingly, then in a near screech   
“I can tell you’re scared! I can tell you’re scared!”

Abandoning his stronghold in the bath, Lance climbed out with unexpected dexterity, shoving Keith in the chest with both hands  
“Babe... I’m sorry if I scared you... I was kind of scared when I woke up and you weren’t there”  
Shoving him again, Lance glared  
“You were scared?! You don’t get to be scared! Do you have any fucking idea how scared I’ve been!? Do you!?”  
Shoving him again, Keith’s back hit the wall. Despite screaming at him in anger, his husband’s eyes were filling with tears as he clenched his fists   
“You fucking stopped breathing! All of you were buried alive! Three fucking quintants! It took three quintants to get a signal out! Your lips were blue! All of you nearly fucking died! And you were scared!? You don’t get to be scared!”  
Reaching for Lance, Lance stepped back wrapping his arms around himself in a self hug. Keith letting his hand drop. He hadn’t been able to get a word in with all the yelling Lance was doing   
“The moment we landed you were taken away! No one told me anything! The last time... the last thing you said was I was useless and incompetent. You wanted a fucking divorce. You... you left me! You all left me there... I couldn’t stop anything that happened! I was useless... I am useless... You have no idea how scared I was! I didn’t know... if they were going to be your last words to me...”  
Shaking his head, Lance turned and limped over to the counter, leaning heavily against it as his whole body shook. Coming up behind his husband, Keith wrapped his arms around Lance, face buried against his husbands buried back   
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry no one came to tell you...”  
“Get off me!”  
“I remember it all. What I said. What we said...”  
Covering his ears Lance whimpered, Keith raising his voice  
“You know I never ever meant any of that. It was the toxin. I could hear the words coming out, but I couldn’t stop myself... I don’t want a divorce... I don’t want to...”  
“I want a divorce”  
Keith felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. Clinging tighter to Lance, his husband started to struggle against him  
“I don’t. Please. It was the toxin. You’re my husband! You’re the most important person in my life! I know you were hurt... but it wasn’t your fault”  
“It was my fault! I was out there looking for Kosmo! I didn’t tell you! I didn’t think! I just wanted to find Kosmo because he wasn’t on our bed! You... you all nearly died! I thought you were dead! I thought you were all dead! I had to pull you out one by one and I couldn’t work faster! Kosmo... Kosmo was fucking injured. I couldn’t move right because of my fucking leg! I kept calling and calling but no one answered! I couldn’t do anything!”

Collapsing suddenly, Keith caught his husband as his legs gave out, guiding him into his hold as Lance broke down into wailing sobs   
“I couldn’t help you all... I couldn’t save you... I kept seeing you all dead... You were all hurt so bad and wouldn’t wake up... I did that... you were out there because of me... I ruined everything! No wonder no one would tell me anything. I’m fucking useless!”  
Screaming, Lance fisted his hair, tearing away at the chocolate strands as Keith tried to grab his wrists  
“Lance! Stop it!”  
“I can’t do this! I can’t do anything right! I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead and none of you remembered me...!”  
His husband was using the word “dead” too much. He didn’t want Lance dead. He didn’t want to live in a galaxy without him. All of his husband’s precious coolness was explained by how deeply wounded this event had left him. His husband’s scent was nauseating, the tears prickling in Keith’s eyes equal parts from seeing Lance so hurt, and his putrid scent   
“Lance! Stop! You’re not to blame!”  
“I am! If you weren’t out there... if I hadn’t gone looking for Kosmo...”  
“It was in the rain! Krolia told us. The plant life responded to the rain!”  
Lance was choking on his own breaths trying to get both his sobs and words out at the same times  
“I made you come out! I made you all get hurt! I’m so stupid!... I can’t... Keith. I can’t... I can’t do anything right. I don’t want you to be with someone like me! I want to go home... I don’t belong here!”

Keith was getting frustrated. Lance... he done so good getting them back to the ship, then keeping them alive and stable until Krolia and reinforcements arrived. Most of his husband’s blame wasn’t on their words, only the fact that he’d been the only one left able to do anything. Taking his husband’s face in his hands, he pushed a hard kiss to Lance’s snotty lips. Surprised, Lance fell limp, allowing Keith to soften the kiss. When Lance didn’t return his kiss, Keith pulled back to nuzzle into his husband’s cheek, dissolving into soft sobs of his own  
“I love you. I love you so fucking much. I don’t want a divorce. I want to be with you... I’m sorry I scared you... I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you... but don’t leave me”  
“You left me. You stupid selfish arsehole! I was so scared! I can’t go through that again!”  
“I’m sorry. God. I’ve fucked you around so badly, but I love you. I love you, so much... I’m so proud of you baby. So proud... and I’m so sorry. So sorry I left you alone...”  
“You’re an arsehole... You told me Allura died to get away from me... you told me I was useless... I know I’m useless. I’m not as good as Krystaal. I’m not pretty or smart like him... I don’t belong with you”

Krystaal...? What? What did he have to do with anything?”  
Kissing at Lance’s teary cheek, Keith was lost  
“Babe... you’re not making sense”  
“Krystaal! I’m not Krystaal!”  
Shoving his shoulders hard, Lance still had the energy to hurt himself. Drawing his knees up, his husband grimaced openly as he bent his swollen knee  
“What does that have to do with anything?”  
“You’re in love with him! You’re in love with him and we all know it! I’d rather get divorced now then... then wait until it’s too late!”  
“I don’t love Krystaal. I love you. I’m married to you. You’re my husband”  
“You’re in love with him and everyone knows it... I’m not as good as him... you liked Lotor... and I can’t even do one mission right”  
“You did everything right. You did. I didn’t mean anything I said. Neither did the others. Hell, Krystaal even helped me break out of there so I could come see you. The whole team helped because they all feel awful about what happened. You tried to warn us, but we didn’t listen...”  
“It wasn’t anything more than what I deserved”

Grasping at straws Keith was failing in his attempts to make Lance see sense. His husband was so worked up that Keith was surprised Lance hadn’t driven himself into a seizure or pushed right over into a panic attack  
“Babe. Do you remember when you were going through withdrawal. All the things you said? Everything you did? Back when you weren’t in control of your actions or words? I didn’t blame you for it. I wanted to help you. I wanted to help you no matter what you said and did. You wanted the same for me. I could never blame you for what you said. Those things were the drugs talking. You couldn’t stop yourself, no matter how much you wanted to. I couldn’t stop myself... and god, baby. I hate it. I was so fucking cruel... and I couldn’t stop. I blamed you for Kosmo! I... I’m mad that you didn’t stop to wake me, but I’m so quiznakking grateful that you’re... that you’re so strong...”  
“I’m not strong”  
“You are”  
“I’m not! I couldn’t stop it from happening. I couldn’t stop Mami making me take the painkillers and while you were... while you were suffering... I was high as kite... I tried so hard and everything fell to pieces... I didn’t want to take them... I knew I’d feel like this. Coran tried to help, but Mami won’t listen”

Coran? Right. Right. Lance had taken a trip to Altea. Krolia had said he was transferring there, yet he’d come back the very next quintant   
“Babe. I’m not mad. I’m not mad about the medication. Mami doesn’t know. She doesn’t understand. Did you think I was going to be mad?”  
Nodding, it felt like the first time Lance was being entirely truthful since he’d dropped down through the vent  
“I’m not mad at you. I didn’t understand how wounded you were. I knew you were scared because of what happened, but I was so focused on how miserable I was without you, that I didn’t see the whole picture”  
“I thought if I didn’t see you, you couldn’t break up with me”  
Lance knew how to break his heart. His own heart must have been breaking since the incident. He knew how deeply Lance feared being left behind  
“Never. I never want to break up with you. I’m not in love with anyone other than you”  
“You just seemed so happy without me... Krolia said you’d been angry and restless, but you were...”  
“I was laughing and joking with Krystaal?”  
Sorrowfully Lance nodded  
“Ask any of the team. I’ve been completely lost without you. What happened was terrifying for both of us. And Daibazaal isn’t easy for you at the best of times”  
“There’s so many smells. I’m scared everyone’s going to find out I’m pregnant. I don’t... I don’t feel like I belong here. Especially when we haven’t talked about the future. Hunk and Shay’s wedding. Telling Krolia. Telling... telling the people who are supposed to be our friends. I’m scared. I was scared you were going to leave me like this... with them... or that you were only going to care because of them... and not your junkie husband”  
Unless Lance was in a safe environment, or an environment he could control, his husband’s mental was only growing to grow worse  
“Let’s go. Let’s get out of here”  
Lance blinked at him, the shock catching his breath  
“I’m serious. I’ve already broken out of quarantine. If you don’t feel safe here, then we’ll go. Somewhere it’s only us. It doesn’t have to be forever, but long enough that we can talk without you having to be so self conscious”  
Lance shook his head quickly   
“We can’t go...”  
It was Keith’s turn to blink, tilting his head in confusion   
“Why not?”  
“Because you’re supposed to be in quarantine! And your foot... I know it can’t be healed by now... I saw how bad it was Keith! I pulled the bramble out your foot!”  
“That doesn’t matter. You want to be with me, but everyone is telling you all these things and I’m not making it better. I love you, Lance. I want to have a family with you. I want to raise our kids on Earth. I don’t know what we’re going to do about Hunk and Shay’s wedding, but I do know we’ve sucked at talking, and I... I can’t take another night crying myself to sleep without you”  
“But... your foot”  
“And your knee... But you know, between us, we still have three good feet and three good legs”  
Something akin to a smile played on Lance’s lips. The sight was fucking glorious  
“I can’t believe I’m considering this. Mami will lose her shit”  
“Like Krolia won’t... She’s probably in the middle of yelling at everyone”  
Keith shuddered at the thought, yet held enough confidence in his team that he knew they’d weather whatever she threw at them   
“We can’t... I’ve caused... I’ve caused so much trouble... you shouldn’t even be here...”  
“Babe. You’re my husband. If you’re hurting, I want to be there. I know I fucked up. I fucked up so badly I want to scream. You drive me fucking crazy and whenever we’re together we’re always getting ourselves into trouble, but... I need to step up. You told me you were struggling. You reached out for me... and I was so scared. I am scared. I don’t know how to be a dad. I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to fix things. You say you’re not ready to settle down and I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t know Spanish. I can’t cook like your mother. I don’t know how to play with children. I don’t know how to promise to come every day... I don’t know if I can even make that promise. We got into this together in a pretty messed up way... Our marriage... I thought we were doing better than we were. I thought you were doing better than you were. I thought as long as I told you I loved you, it’d all work out. But we’re both exhausted. I told... I told Shiro that maybe you should have an abortion. I thought we’d... I thought we’d be settled. I thought we’d be trying for a baby when it happened. If it happened. I thought we’d have more time and be older and settled and out of all this. But I don’t want you to have an abortion. I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m probably going to make you mad a million times because I don’t understand... I want to. You’re not stupid. Sometimes you do very stupid things. I do very stupid things to. Like getting drunk when I got scared. Like leaving you hanging for quintants when all you wanted was me to be honest. All my head is filled with this confusing junk, and every time I look at you, all I want to do is through it out the window, and cuddle up with you until the world fucks off. I want you. This... these twins. Kosmo. A house with the picket fence. And to grow old with you until we’re stupidly wrinkly and we’ve lost all our teeth. Our kids are going to be embarrassed because we’re still so sickeningly in love, though were both blind as bats”

Lance had started to calm, and now he was crying all over again. With a yelp, his husband tackled him. Lance didn’t exactly mean to tackle him, but the sudden weight of his husband throwing his arms around him had them both falling on the bathroom floor. Smacking his hands down against Keith’s chest, Lance was shaking his bowed head  
“You’re an arsehole. A quiznakking arsehole! You can’t nearly die and say that! You can’t! I love you, you selfish idiot!”  
“You’re right. I’m a selfish idiot”  
“And an arsehole!”  
Keith snorted, agreeing quickly  
“And an arsehole”  
“And if you ever do this to me again, I’m going to fucking kill you. I’m going to bring you back, and kill you. Everything you said... everyday that’s in my head. It was like you looked into my brain! I hate you! I hate you so much for trying to die!”  
“Like I could leave you alone. Now, do you want to run away with me?”  
“No”

“No” wasn’t the answer Keith wanted or expected. Growling, Lance stiffened at the sound. Mentally swearing at himself, he tried to calm the anger stirring in his veins  
“Why not?”  
“Because... you’re still healing”  
“It’s my foot”  
“That’s infected... And... Krolia said the toxin hadn’t passed”  
He was basically toxin free. It was only the slight flare here and there... and his foot... he’s passed from pain to constant throbbing   
“You’re more important to me. You and our twins... Did... are they...?”  
Sighing, Lance flopped down to lay along him   
“Your children are fine. Mami didn’t really believe me until she saw them. Their vitals were a little low because I was exposed to the same toxin as you guys. They couldn’t put me in a pod for my knee because of it. Mami keeps trying to push medication on me... and I guess you figured out Coran knows... I was hooked up to a sensor when he came in”  
Wrapping on arm carefully around Lance’s waist, the half-Galra resting his free hand on Lance’s hair  
“How did he take it?”  
“Respectfully”  
Keith sighed. That didn’t give him anything  
“That good?”  
“I thought you wanted a divorce. I was certain you want a divorce... seeing you flirting with Krystaal drove me crazy. You were hurt. No one told me what was going on. I felt shunned and unwanted here. Mami was going on and on. I was done... He copped a lot of it”  
Keith didn’t know how he was going to tell Krystaal they needed to... Nope. He had no word for it. He didn’t know how to tone down their friendship because he wasn’t aware that they’d crossed any lines. Wisely, he didn’t snap back that nothing was going on  
“And now?”  
“I can’t turn these thoughts and feelings off... Still, it’s nice that you finally told me everything... It hurts so much being on the outside”  
Keith wasn’t to blame for Krolia’s poor communication skills. He was stunned that no one had explained things to Lance, especially after his efforts to recover them. His mother was going to get a stern talking too. Not having the patience, nor wanting Lance to slip back in to his sad mood, Keith rubbed at Lance’s lower back as he asked  
“As bad as your knee hurts?”  
“It’s a bad sprain. Up to four weeks on crutches and no weight on it. Some deep tissues bruising. Nothing broken. The brambles scratched me up... but nothing like you guys”  
Lowering his head, pain twinged where Lance’s lips met his skin in a light kiss  
“This is where I cut you open...”  
Lance kept his lips against his skin as he talked between kisses  
“I took your blade and I pushed down. My hands were shaking so badly I thought I’d mess it up... I didn’t know how to do it properly. The only tubing I had came from the plastic of a flare... You weren’t breathing properly, wheezing as your throat swelled closed, so I put my lips on the tube and blew, making sure chest rose. You were so close to death. I couldn’t look at your face. I refused to sleep until I started passing out. When Mami answered, I wasn’t sure I wasn’t hallucinating it... Promise me I won’t see you like that again. Promise I won’t spend days beside your bedside wondering if you’ll wake up. Or divorce me here and now”

Keith hissed as Lance nipped at the scabbed wound. Lance was still angry at him...   
“Babe. You know I can’t make that promise”  
“So we can run away? You can escape quarantine, pour your heart out and burst into tears, but you can’t promise you’ll be careful on mission?”  
“That’s not what you’re asking me for”  
“I am. I’m asking you to be safe. To come home safe. To take every precaution available. Not to go off alone. These are your twins... If you mean what you say, then promise me”  
“Lance...”  
“Promise me! Promise me you’re not going to leave us! I can’t do it Keith! I can’t sit back and wait while you’re in danger!”  
Yelling right in his face, Lance’s blue eyes were ablaze. His marks glowing fiercely as he stared Keith down  
“I promise to do whatever it takes”  
Dropping down, Lance rested his ear against Keith’s chest   
“Then we should get you back to quarantine”  
“Why? I broke out to see you”  
The thought of returning to that room didn’t appeal to him. No. He’d much rather Lance ran away with him  
“Because these two need their father in one piece...”  
“I want to spend some time with you. One on one”  
“Then... then when you get out of quarantine, can we go back to the outpost?”  
Lance and the outpost. Keith was feeling as if the outpost was Lance’s second husband   
“Wasn’t the plan for you to come with me? And for you to take a break from work?”  
“Then Earth. Somewhere where... somewhere where you can heal in peace. I feel safe at the outpost, but most of all, I want you to heal. I don’t want them sending you away because you’re back on your feet... not before you’ve healed completely”  
“Idiot. I’m half Galra. I’m healing faster than a normal human”  
“The key word is “healing” not healed. Please, Keith. Please. Once you’re out of quarantine, can we go away? Can we get away from everyone once we know you’re alright? We can even sneak out if you want. We can run then... I just... don’t want you sent out again... I know it’s your job... but it’s too soon”  
Lance was running out of energy. His soft sobs and uneven gasps coming further apart as he nuzzled into Keith’s chest  
“Babe, I don’t have any missions coming up yet. It was meant to be this training mission, then planning for the ceremony. I’m not scheduled...”  
“It doesn’t matter if you’re scheduled or not! You’re always going... they’re always calling you in... when can I have you?”  
“Shhh, you have me, babe. I’m here... Whatever you need”  
“Can we take a bath...? I didn’t know if you’d be mad if I did... I didn’t feel like I should be here without you”  
And now he’d hit “rambling sleeping Lance with no filter”  
“Is that why you were in the bath with no water?”  
“I threw up on myself... Mami told me to go for a bath... but... with her yelling at Veronica and... too much water...”  
“Babe, everything I have is yours too. I want you to be safe and happy. I would love to take a bath with you”  
“And I can hold you?”  
Keith would have preferred it the other way, Lance was nearly asleep, after all  
“Yeah. Let’s take a bath and go from there”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my bad... I thought Keith did the big boy thing last chapter not this one... whoooooopsies

Carrying a sleeping Lance from the bathroom, Miriam and Krolia were both sitting in his bed. His mother was frowning severely, as Miriam stared at him with a soft and warm smile. Sheepishly ducking his head, neither man was exactly descent. Lance was bundled up in his arms, pregnant stomach and budding breasts hidden from their parents, while Keith simply had a towel around his waist  
“Oops... I have no idea how I ended up here?”  
Rolling her eyes at him, Krolia let out a long sigh  
“You were in quarantine for a reason”  
“Yep. And now that I’ve talked with Lance, I promise I’ll go straight back after I’ve got him settled”  
Krolia eyed him with suspicion. Keith ignoring her as he limped towards the far side of the bed. He’d much rather be the one sharing his bed with his husband, but Lance didn’t need the stress. His husband’s soft smooth hands had washed his hair for him. The loving gentle touches intimate without being sexual. Insisting of returning the favour, Lance had fallen asleep as Keith massaged his scalp, his husband purring softly as his breath evened out  
“Lance asked me to go back until I’m given the all-clear. I’ve got him calmed down and he fell asleep in the bath. He wants to leave Daibazaal for a bit so we’re thinking of taking a few quintants and going alone”  
“Then you’re not getting divorced?”

Why was he sensing humour in his mother’s tone? His marriage wasn’t a joke. His husband shattered by neglect. Using his knee to keep Lance balanced, Keith pulled the blankets back enough to cover his husband. Miriam knew, but Krolia didn’t. And Keith wasn’t in the mood to share the news with his mother. If anything, he was feeling the need to drive his own spike of revenge in  
“Who knows? He was distraught to the point he threw up. He barely kept from having a panic attack. Convinced he needs to leave Daibazaal because no one was telling him what was going on. Convinced we meant everything we said, and scared he was going to be physically harmed because of it. So no, mum. I can’t say for sure we’re not getting a divorce because his heart’s too fucking broken to know down from up right now”  
The verbal jab didn’t feel as nice as he’d hoped it would it. Nor did it alleviate his anger at the situation. Him going back into quarantine wasn’t a game he was playing. His mother didn’t need to mock him for going along meekly. He was choosing to ease Lance’s fears. He was making the choice for the health of their relationship  
“Keith...”

Limp-striding across his room and to his wardrobe, Keith blindly snatched out half a dozen things before striding back to Lance. With their mother’s watching his move, Keith slowly started undoing the towel around his waist. Miriam’s cheeks reddening as she quickly looked away. Krolia didn’t turn away until Keith dropped the towel. Exposing himself to his mother was definitely not the highlight of his day, but for Lance, he could endure the few moments of humiliation. Reaching over, he opened the third drawer of his bedside table and snatched out a pair of boxer briefs. They’d been in there since his and Lance’s last stay on Daibazaal, on the off chance, someone disturbed them while he was still buck naked. Stepping into his underwear, he started getting dressed with more force than was necessary   
“I’m leaving some clothes out for him. Tell him it’s ok for him to use whatever he wants. He’s paranoid it wouldn’t be... He’s calmed down a lot now that we were able to talk, but anxiety levels are sky-high. Maybe get him to call Coran? He trusts him... With what happened before, and being attacked by Galra that were supposed to be his friends and colleagues, it’s brought up a lot of the past for him. Oh... I still have some chocolate I got him before too, it’s in the other bedside drawer. Tell him to help himself”

Next came his shirt, then a pair of sweats. Being confined to bed almost all the time wasn’t exactly the best environment for jeans  
“And Kosmo. See if you can get Kosmo to stay with him. He’s great at picking up Lance’s moods. Lance blames himself for Kosmo being an idiot and getting stuck. Oh... He wants to go to the outpost, which we probably won’t do, but give Daehra a call. She was supposed to be hiring new staff, so let him work on that... What else... oh... I usually sleep on this side of the bed, so he’ll more than likely choose this side. If he wakes up screaming, he usually can’t calm down right away. Sometimes he comes to swinging, or in an episode that he won’t remember, usually, he’ll try to hide in the corner. It’s better not to bring him out of those. And if he doesn’t want to leave the room, don’t force him. Like I said, his head’s a mess at the moment... Oh! Shiro! If he’s not talking or he’d starting to fall into a panic attack, put him on the comms with Shiro if you can’t get me. Shiro knows everything... Um... I think that’s about it...”

Dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed, Keith nuzzled into Lance’s cheek, kissing his soft lips as brushed his hair back. Quietly he whispered to his sleeping husband   
“Babe, I’ve got to go back to quarantine now. I’m going to send Kosmo to stay with you. And I’m going to call you later. You just get some sleep for me. I love you and I’ll be back soon”  
Nuzzling and kissing Lance again, his husband gave a sleepy sigh  
“‘ love you”  
“I love you, too. I hope you think of places where we can go. Somewhere I can spoil you rotten, preferably”  
“Mmmm... ‘k”  
Laughing softly, Keith forced himself away from Lance. The temptation call of his bed was making it so hard to keep his word.

Not bothering with his boots, Keith limped over to the bedroom door. His foot was tender, half redressed with whatever was in the first aid kit in his bathroom. Crossing his arms, he stared at both his mother’s until Krolia got her act together and stood, Miriam quick to stand and give her a brief hug... then for some reason his Mami felt the need to follow Krolia over to him. Before he knew what was happening, Miriam was hugging him, Keith awkwardly returning the gesture   
“I wish you hadn’t broken out to see him, yet I’m extremely grateful you did. He’s been beyond worried about you. We all have”  
“I’m ok. He had a huge scare. He didn’t think he deserved to be up and moving around while we were all in quarantine. He doesn’t see the work he did to get us out of there... He doesn’t want to talk about it. He blames himself deeply, so it’ll be best not to push him over it. He saved all of us, Mami. It’s not a lie or an exaggeration. Maybe don’t mention the divorce thing either... our marriage hasn’t been great for a while, so it’s not something he’s suddenly got into his head. And if Veronica slaps him again, I can’t guarantee I won’t end up yelling at her over it”  
“Lance isn’t the only one who was scared. Veronica was in tears when she rushed here. Shiro wanted to come too, but he’s only just gone back on patrol. Thank you for taking care of our boy”  
“He means the world to me Mami. If something happens and it’s bad, come talk to me”  
“I’m sure we’ll work something out”  
“For now it’s best if you just let him work when he wants. He gets even worse when he isn’t constantly doing anything”  
“There was a time I would have corrected you and said “I think I know my own son”, now I feel like you’re the authority on him”  
Laughing lightly, the hug broke. Krolia taking the opportunity to pounce, grabbing him by the ear as her free hand hit the door panel. Whelp. There went his freedom.

*  
Teased mercilessly by his team over his apprehension by Krolia, Keith spent the next three quintants behaving himself in quarantine, holding his temper even when he wanted to blow up at Veronica for slapping Lance. Acxa wasn’t pleased either by her actions, the pair not talking for a whole half varga before Acxa caved and they were back in their own little space bubble. Instead of “sulking” as he had been, he spent the time using his second comms device trying to find somewhere nice to take Lance. He really wanted to take his husband to a day spa or something equally uninteresting to him... uh... something incredibly interesting to his husband, yet knew that Lance would be too ashamed of his changing body and scars to really enjoy himself there. Plus, Krolia didn’t want them wandering around the galaxy due to there penchant of finding trouble by sheer accident. Settling mentally on their destination on his second day, all that had been left was to wait.

Lance didn’t come to collect him when the forcefield finally dropped. Kosmo instead was sent in his husband’s stead... Their silly fur son armed with a sock as he flopped to his belly and wriggled his back, waiting for belly pats. After being stuck in close quarters for so long, none of them considered the others rude as they all left to be anywhere that wasn’t with together... except for Zethrid and Ezor who were off to do the same thing that Veronica was tugging Acxa off to do. Crouching down and indulging Kosmo, Kosmo was going crazy in his blissed-out state, attempting to give Keith as many licks as he could without abandoning his belly rubs or dirty sock. Itching to see Lance, he was barked at when he asked Kosmo to take him to Lance. 

It probably would have been quicker to walk back to his room, Kosmo insisted on a very long and thorough pat session before teleporting him with no warning back to his room.

Sitting on their bed, Lance was throwing himself at him the moment his feet hit the ground  
“You’re late!”  
“Kosmo wanted extra pats”  
Burying his face against Lance’s neck, Keith laughed as Lance groped his arse. Pulling back, he pressed a kiss to Lance’s lips  
“Miss me?”  
Pressing half a dozen hard kisses to Keith’s lips, Lance’s leaned back in his hold as he sighed dramatically   
“You have nooooo idea. Please tell me we can go now. I don’t think I can take one more day with Mami. I love her. I swear I do. But... I’m starting to regret telling her I’m pregnant... How does she think a baby is made? Keith, she tried to give me the talk. It’s too late for the talk. I’ve been pregnant since April and it’s... June now... I think I’ve noticed”

Sliding his hands down to Lance’s arse, his husband moved his arms up to loop over Keith’s shoulders. Jumping up, yelping and failing, Lance only got one leg wrapped around Keith’s waist before it all went to quiznak. Shaking with laughter, Keith carried Lance to their bed, pulling him down with him. Smiling as he rolled over to cage Lance, Lance pouted  
“You’re laughing at me”  
“Only a little. Have you packed?”  
“What kind of novice do you think I am. I have no idea how Mami is getting home, but we’re all packed”  
“Wow. You really want to get out of here, don’t you?”  
“Yep. So you can keep that in your pants for now. Mami was talking with Krolia again, so she’s bound to be back at any moment. Though... maybe if she walked in, she’d realise...”  
“I’m going to stop you before you finish that sentence. Mami knows how babies are made, she literally made you with Jorge”  
Lance pulled a face at him, sticking his tongue out  
“Dude! Parent sex is ewww”  
“You’re the one who started it. I know you want to go, but we can drop Mami back on home the way”  
“But the outpost isn’t on Earth...”  
“Nope. It’s not, but we’re not going there. I’ve got a better idea”  
“But I told Daehra...”  
“Then I’ll untell her. Or don’t you want to come on an adventure with me?”  
“No! No. I’ll go. Please don’t make me sit through another lecture... She wants Marco to come work at the outpost. Can you imagine him there? She was all like “you’re pregnant. You can’t work in a bar if you’re pregnant... You should have someone there that you trust. Um. Hello. I have my team. Daehra... Can you picture her slacking off? Because she hasn’t. Thanks for making Mami make me call her. The moment she saw the bruises...”  
Lance shuddered. Kissing his husband, Keith carefully lowered himself to lay half curled into Lance’s left side, leg looped securely around his lower waist   
“If it counts, I was lectured for being captured by Krolia so soon after breaking out. Ezor smacked me for ruining all their hard work to get me out”  
The vent covered had been replaced, metal gridding welded over the tops so no one could escape again   
“I was shocked to find you gone. Mami explained”  
“You fell asleep in the bath”  
“I figured as much... Sooo, where are we going?”  
“That’s a surprise”  
“Keeeeeith”  
Whining at him, Lance fluttered his eyelashes. His husband was so fucking adorable. He was also trying his hardest not to show Keith that he was scared. Keith could smell it on him. That fear and pain. Despite his affectionate touches, there was a particular stiffness in Lance’s limbs   
“Laaaaance. You’ll have to wait and see”  
“Have you got permission?”  
“Kind of. I told Krolia I’m not coming back until closer to the award ceremony, and not to call us unless she’s in labour”  
Lance’s pretty blue eyes widened  
“Really?”  
“Really, truly. She told me we’re not allowed to go wandering, so I had to check where our limits were”  
“Your foot’s better, isn’t it?”  
“Approved for light exercise. Your knee?”  
“Provided I don’t mess it up. I’ll get off the crutches the same week as the ceremony”  
“Then it’s a good thing what I’ve got planned isn’t that physical”  
“No sex?”  
“My tongue technique not good enough for you?”  
Lance blushed. His teasing tone had brought it upon himself  
“Your tongue technique is on point”  
Shifting to nuzzle his nose against Lance’s, he was getting drunk on the happiness he felt from having his husband to himself   
“And you’re not so bad yourself”  
Kissing him deeply, the events of what happened soon progressed into some very heavy petting. Both of them wanting to reassure themselves that their lover was indeed safe and sound.

Clearing her throat as she answered, Lance, pushed Keith off as stuttered “that it wasn’t how it looked”. Rubbing his nose, which Lance had decided was the best point to shove him back with a hand to, Keith didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, Miriam didn’t tease him  
“It’s nice to see you out of quarantine, again Mijo. Krolia said you’d be here by now”  
“Hi, Mami. Yep. Kosmo teleported me over. Thanks for taking care of Lance for me. I hope he wasn’t too much bother”  
Kosmo didn’t have time for his two idiot father’s, he was busy chewing up the sock he’d brought with him  
“He’s certainly high maintenance. Not quite as bad as his father. Rachel has been cooking... Let’s just say he’s happy the three of us will be home for dinner tonight”  
Lance stiffened completely, a whine bubbling up from the back of his throat. He wasn’t the only one having his plans ruined. Mami liked him well enough... and Lance said he was charming. Aiming for charm, he started  
“You’ve already spent a movement here...”   
And was promptly shot down. Putting her hands on her hips, Keith knew she was serious  
“You’re both coming to family dinner. It’s the least you can do for nearly dying on us. Jorge is already expecting us tonight. And you can take Marco when you leave. I’ve already told him you need help out there. Heaven knows he’s been drifting from job to job of late”  
Lance protested   
“Mami, we’re not heading to the outpost. We’re taking a holiday. The two of us... alone”  
Aaaand Mami wasn’t having it  
“How hard is it to get there? Have Coran open a wormhole for you all”  
Keith’s plans were going out the window. His soul dying a little inside. He’d thought hard about this, and made his decision with Lance in mind  
“Miriam, Lance and I plan to take a short holiday. We can pick Marco up, but it won’t be until we’re preparing to come back to Daibazaal for the award ceremony”  
“Award ceremony? Krolia didn’t mention that”  
“It’s kind of a big deal. Keith and his team are receiving awards from the coalition for their humanitarian work”  
“That sounds lovely. Then it’s settled, you’ll bring Marco back with you when you leave Earth. Now, Jorge is expecting us home soon. It’s best we leave sooner rather than later”  
Shooting Keith a pleading look, Keith could only shake his head in defeat. Mami definitely wore the pants in Lance’s family.

*  
Rachel wasn’t home when they arrived. Kosmo had tried to help by teleporting Lance up to the house, Lance was throwing his guts up in the upstairs bathroom by the time Keith reached the house. Miriam expected them to stay for dinner, barely in the door before she was sweeping off to the kitchen to organise dinner. Marco was the one to point out Lance had ditched his crutches and bolted upstairs. Slipping into the bathroom, Lance was heaving wetly, Keith closing the door lightly and moving to sit on the edge of the bathtub near his husband   
“Morning sickness?”  
“Telep-ortation sickness...”  
Throwing up a mouthful of drool, Lance clutched at his stomach. Sure, the first few times left one slightly off-put, but it wasn’t a permanent thing. Reaching up, Lance flushed the toilet  
“Sorry. Every time he does that, I feel like I’ve left my stomach behind...”  
“Is your morning sickness any better?”  
“A bit... I’ve been trying to ignore it. I don’t know what’s stress and what’s baby anymore”

Hissing with pain, Keith grabbed Lance’s arm to help him up. His husband pale and sweaty  
“You don’t look too well”  
“I flushed the pain meds Mami kept trying to make me take... I think my stomach appreciated it about as much as Kosmo trying to help”  
“Babe...”  
Lance held up his hands in surrender  
“Don’t. I know what you’re going to say. You don’t want me being in pain... but I started... I wanted more than I was prescribed and that scared me. That wanting feeling. I don’t want to go back to that, Keith”  
“I was going to say you should brush your teeth, then come lay down. You’re right though. I don’t want you in pain. I also... I know it’s hard, but you’re strong. You took your other pills... didn’t you?”  
Lance bit his lip. Keith growling   
“Babe. The doctors put you on them to help you!”  
“I couldn’t take them! I tried. I tired and I choked on them. I threw up. I couldn’t swallow them down... But I ate those bars. And it made... all my levels were better...”  
“How does that help with your seizures?”  
Lance stomped his foot, cringed as his foot hit the ground. Keith groaning mentally at his husband’s idiocy   
“I didn’t not just take them. I tried for you. It was a vitamin pill. I knew it was a vitamin pill and I still couldn’t swallow it. But give me a fucking pain killer and apparently, I can swallow that right down”  
“Ok. Ok. I won’t push. You know where I’m coming from, don’t you?”  
“I know... I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you”  
“You didn’t tell me because you felt you couldn’t? That was why, wasn’t it?”  
“I... yes. You were already mad at me, so I didn’t... I didn’t want you to break up with me because you thought I wasn’t trying”  
“Lance, babe. Half idiot to my half idiot, you are the most trying person I know. I don’t want to fight”  
“I don’t want to fight either. Especially not here. I’m so sorry Mami dragged you here”  
“I lost the fight the day I fell in love with you. Brush your teeth and I’ll help you back down the stairs. For someone with a busted knee, you’re terrible at resting”  
“This is nothing... I mean... it’s not so bad now... No... it doesn’t matter. Everything turned out alright”

Lance turned to limp to the bathroom counter, opening the cabinet and digging around for a toothbrush. Keith knew he was going to say something else that would upset his husband, but he had to know  
“Babe, didn’t you say Kosmo teleported us out?”  
Lance paused as he broke open the toothbrush packaging, meeting Keith’s gaze in the mirror   
“Damn. You caught that one didn’t you? It wasn’t great... and I don’t want to talk about it. Mami bossed around every one, then I was too fucking high to feel any of it... scared the quiznak out of her by having a seizure right in front of her... That wasn’t fun to explain”  
Grabbing the toothbrush, Keith let his husband brush his teeth in peace. He felt like the shittiest husband in the world for not being there when Lance was left to explain all of this to his mother. He would have had to go back to his first heat, his fear and shame when his body started changing, then all the way through to the seizures. He knew Mami didn’t know about the drugs. He wouldn’t have told her about the torture and rape. She knew he had brain damage, so that was what Lance must have said... What a quzinakking shit storm. Especially on the backs of being forced to tell all their friends, he had seizures from his brain damage. All of this made Keith more certain of his plans.

Setting down on the sofa, Keith had his arm slung around Lance who had his back up against Keith’s side. Covered in a blanket by Mami, there was a bag of frozen peas on Lance’s knees, his foot propped up on the couches arm. Laying on the floor across from them, Marco was flicking through some Spanish magazine. His brother in law had questioned them over what had happened, then given up pretty quick when Mami had appeared with the frozen peas. As nice as it was to be holding his husband, Keith felt as if he’d been idle too long. He felt he should be offering his held to Miriam or to Jorge. He had inconvenienced them by being hospitalised, the farm was their livelihood, all of them playing their part to keep things running smoothly. Shifting his hand under the blanket, Keith splayed his fingers over Lance’s stomach, letting his fingertips drag across the bump there. It wouldn’t be long before it’d be impossible to hide the pregnancy. Snorting, Lance grabbed his hand  
“Don’t! That tickles”  
“I thought you were sleeping. You were being so quite”  
“Nah. Just enjoying this...”  
“Do you want anything? I feel like I should be doing something”  
“You are. You’re giving me cuddles. If Mami needed you in there destroying things, she would have asked for help. Plus, Marco’s over there, he’s not doing anything”

Rolling from his stomach to his back, Marco waved his magazine above him  
“Marco is reading. More than you two are doing”  
“Keith only got out of the hospital today. I’ve sprained my knee”  
Sounding bored, Marco dropped his magazine to the side  
“And yet, we’re all laying around here. Shouldn’t you two be worried about where Kosmo is?”  
“Nope. What happened to your job? Mami wants us to take you when we go”  
“Slept with the wrong girl. The usual. We’re both pushing 30. She’s not married. Not even dating but her Mami found out... She’s friend with our mother and the aunts from the church. Don’t worry, you don’t have to give your loser big brother a pity job. I’ll find something soon”

Dropping his head back, Lance’s stared up at him  
“Babe, can you grab the cushion under your arse and throw it at Marco as hard as you can”  
“Hey! I’m right over here. I’m serious man. Don’t bother”  
Lance’s voice took on a sickly sweet tone  
“Well, my dear brother, my dearest middle brother... It just so happens that we could use the help. But if you don’t think you can handle bar work, and some of the toughest customers you’ll ever meet, then I guess you’re destined to stay on Earth forever”  
Marco scoffed   
“Don’t be an obnoxious shit. No one likes a show-off. Keep this up and Keith will...”  
Marco sentence was cut off as Keith threw the cushion at him as hard as he could. Lance cheering as it hit Marco in the head  
“Keith will what? It’s not an easy gig, Marco. If they don’t respect you, they’ll walk all over you. Plus, I’ll need to register your dumb arse as part of my team, or no one’s going to want to do trade”  
“How hard can it be? You ran the place”  
“I built the place up from nothing. I’ve run it for several phoebs already. But if you’re not up for handling bounty hunters that could snap your twig arse in two, I can hook you up with Th’al”  
Keith felt a twinge of sympathy for Marco. He didn’t particularly like Th’al. She’d shot Lance, and delivered him right into a boatload of trouble  
“Th’al would eat him for breakfast. He’s better off with Daehra”  
“Yeah, but Th’al runs the club. It’s a bit more mundane. He only has to worry about keeping his mouth shut during police busts and keeping the prostitutes safe. Plus, he wouldn’t have to worry about the time dilation fields on Erathus”  
“That’s true”  
Huffing, Marco channelled Lance so hard Keith almost thought it was him   
“Dios! Would you two shut up already! I’m older than both of you. Just because you’ve been doing this for nearly a decade doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself!”  
“Good. Pack your shit up and we’ll pick you up in a week. I’ll get you a new comms”  
“I don’t need a new comms”  
“If you’re working for me, then you need a secure comms. Also, you should probably know we trade in illegal goods. We buy everything from drugs to people”

Marco rolled over again, revolt on his face   
“What the fuck!?”  
“We buy them out of slavery, and hand over the people trying to sell them. I thought it’d be polite to give you the heads up. It’s already been a phoeb since I was last home. I bet Daehra’s changed things around again. I’ll have to let her know to give Marco his own room... Maybe we can stick him in our wing? He’ll be handy on late nights”  
Keith wasn’t initially sure what he meant, then remembered babies cried. Babies cried a lot... He wanted to raise their children on Earth... Then again... Lance would need to come to terms with leaving the outpost in his own ways   
“You can both choke on a dick”  
As appealing as the thought was, Keith was saving his pent up desires for when they absolutely alone without the slightest chance of interruption.

“Marco! Don’t talk to your brothers Ike that! Mijo, I need the peas back for dinner”  
Appearing from the kitchen, Mami walked over to where they were laying. Lance fishing out the peas and handing them over   
“Mami, Keith wants to know if there’s anything he can do to help. He won’t listen to me when I tell him to relax”  
Swapping the bag of defrosting peas from one hand to the other, Miriam wiped her hand on her apron  
“No, no. You’re our guest. You’ve just come out of hospital. Marco can go help Papi with the chores while you two rest”  
Clearing his throat, Keith spoke up  
“I don’t mind. I’ve been cleared for light duty”  
“Keith, dear, it’s fine. It’s all under control. You two lovebirds wait right there on the sofa. Rachel called and she’s on her way home. She’s been in a mood again of late. She wants to quit her job and travel the globe now as a photographer. I told her she’s not to go on her own, but you can just imagine what she said to that. I swear. People these days think because they own a camera, their instant world photographers. I expect she’ll be at Lance’s throat the moment she steps through the door”  
Rushing back off towards the kitchen, Lance sighed  
“We should get up. It’ll be faster with everyone pitching in with the chores”  
Plucking his hand off his stomach, Keith interlaced their fingers before Lance moved further   
“You need to rest, babe”  
“I’m fine. I can still scoop chicken feed”  
“You’re on crutches”  
“I kind of want to see Kaltenecker”  
“Babe. You’re exhausted. I promise when we come get Marco, you can spend quality time with her. Take a nap and I’ll help with the chores”  
“But you’re a guest”  
“You keep telling me I need to act more like part of the family. Let me help get the chores done faster...”  
Dropping to a whisper, he leaned closer to Lance’s ear  
“The sooner things are done, the sooner we can leave. The sooner we leave, the sooner we’re alone. The sooner we’re alone, the sooner we can continue from earlier”  
Lance choked on his own saliva, Keith knew that wasn’t really how it worked. He also knew he it’d continue to bug him if he didn’t lend a hand  
“Ok?”  
Nodding, Lance coughed as he tried to regain his breathing. Kissing his husband’s hair, the half-Galra slid out from under the Cuban  
“Come on, Marco. Let’s get things done before Rachel comes home”

*  
The chores made a refreshing change from the boredom of the quarantine room. Kosmo has found Kaltenecker, the space wolf being ignored by the cow as she lazily flicked her tail and munched on her hay without enthusiasm. Jorge trying to engage him in small talk, while Keith was starting to feel nervous each time he was alone with his father in law for longer than 30 seconds. He and Lance were having twins. He’d knocked up Jorge’s youngest son... Quiznak knew how he was going to explain that... He didn’t even know how to go about putting that sentence together. Jorge had spent 24 years thinking Lance was... well... male who could get people pregnant. Lance was still male... but he was also... Pregnant. With twins... and developing breasts... When that sunk in, chores with Jorge and Marco lost their appeal. Feigning pain from his foot, he flipped Marco off as his brother in law teased him for being weak. The chores were mostly done, all that was left was the pigs, so taking Kosmo he headed back to the house.

In Keith’s absence, Rachel had arrived home. Walking into the living room, he found Rachel scrubbing the sofa, Miriam trying to set the table, and Lance suspiciously absent  
“Keith, be a dear. Pop up and check on Lance for me? He’s in the shower right now, and I’m worried how his knee is. He’s not supposed to be on it... but you know what he’s like”  
“Oh. What. Sure...?”  
For the second time that day, Keith was letting himself into the bathroom. The stench of vomit was much more pungent than it’d been when Lance was vomiting before. Sitting in the bath, his husband had the overhead shower cranked up nearly high enough to hide his crying. Sinking to kneel by the bathtub, Keith reached out and drew his husband close, noticing the way Lance was clutching his knee  
“What happened?”  
Rubbing Lance’s arm, he tried not to look at his husband’s bruising  
“Rachel thought I was hogging the sofa. She forgot about the fact I was injured as she dropped down to complain about her day. More like she didn’t know how bad the sprain is. For a change, she didn’t mean to actually hurt me. I shrieked, she panicked, Mami took one look at me clutching my knee and tried to dose me. I threw up. Rachel started gagging. Mami sent me up here and now you’re here”  
“How bad is it? Out of 5”  
“It’s been a steady 3, so not great but not awful, now it’s about a 6. I’ve got the cold running... but it doesn’t feel great”  
“Where’s your brace?”  
“In the pile of my clothes”  
“I know you don’t want to take anything... but if the pains making you cry...”  
Lance growled, rubbing Keith’s instincts the wrong way  
“No”  
“Liquid painkillers are a thing... I mean like liquid Panadol. Or Mami might have something else...”  
“Keith. No”  
“You’re crying from the pain”  
“And it’ll pass... I feel better already now that you’re here”

Coming from Lance, the words sounded uncomfortably sincere. Keith blurting out  
“I nearly told Jorge we’re having twins”  
Placing his wet hand on Keith’s arm, Lance squeezed gently  
“That’s because you’re a good man... but I’m not ready yet. Mami was bad enough. Papi will probably... He takes everything in his stride, but I’m pretty sure he’ll think we’re fucking with him... I’m not ready... I can’t take another rejection”  
“He’s your father”  
“I know. It’s... I know you want to tell him for all the right reasons, but I don’t know how to tell him I’m pregnant. Not yet. We will. And we’ll tell Krolia. Can I ask you to wait a little longer? Until I’m stronger and everything that happened isn’t so fresh”  
“I don’t know how to face him”  
“Trust me. All us kids have our secrets. If papi knew, his eyebrows would be perpetually stuck up in the middle of his forehead. Besides, I haven’t reached the “safe” mark yet. I could still... well, you know... But they’re survivors. They’ve survived a lot so far. They get that from their father”  
“I don’t know. Their other father is stubborn as all quiznak. And brave. And strong... I’m going to have my hands full if they have even an ounce of your stubbornness”  
“Nuh-uh. We’re going to have our hands full if they have your sense of direction. One’s going to be off one way, while the other off the other way”  
Keith groaned, remembering how often Lance vanished from his side as it was. Now he was going to have three to chase after. At least harnesses on children was more socially accepted... The closest thing to harness he had on Lance was his wedding ring  
“Don’t jinx us. How’s the knee feeling?”  
Changing the topic, Keith didn’t want to scare himself future over becoming a father   
“Hot. I think that continuation is going to have to wait”  
“I don’t mind... I don’t want to do anything that’s going to hurt you”  
“I know. Can I be a pain and ask you to grab me some clothes? Putting back on what I had on, is going to make all this effort null and void”  
“You’re not being a pain. Is there anything you want in particular?”  
“One of your shirts. Your scent helps with the fear... plus, my shirts are getting too tight. You can see my belly when I wear them now”  
Reminding himself that Lance was sensitive about it, Keith still would have paid good GAC to see that baby bump straining against Lance’s shirt. He’d popped enough for Keith to be able to hide his sideways hand under the bump. He was itching to touch that swell again...  
“That’s because you got bigger while I was in quarantine”  
Smacking him on the head, Lance scowled  
“Don’t you dare go there. If you so much as think I’m fat, I’m going to shoot you”  
“I didn’t say fat...”  
“You said “bigger” and that’d bad enough. Now go get me some clothes before everyone sees my fat”  
“I think it’s cute... our twins are growing in there”  
“Keeeeeeeith!”  
“Fine. I’m going. It’s still an adorable bump”  
A bump that he was going to thoroughly enjoy when they were finally alone.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmmm it smells like another update to me.
> 
> Just a heads up. I’m 500kms away from my computer right now so I can’t edit the next few chapters until the new year. It’s a good thing they’re small little hop skip and jumps during our idiot husbands vacation...
> 
> Anywhooooo Merry holidays to you all!

Sitting in the old sun-beaten chair in front of Keith’s desert shack, Lance felt at peace. Remaining ignorant of their destination until the last moment, he could hardly believe Keith’s shack was still standing. The front door just as unlocked as it’d been when they’d been blasted into space in Blue. Having arrived late, and not knowing what condition the shack would be in, they’d spent the night in Keith’s ship. Keith driving him crazy as his husband sank down to snuggled into his belly, pressing soft kisses to his stretching skin. Lance hadn’t noticed the small forming stretch marks, giggling at Keith kissing his stomach until he told him why. Nursing his hot chocolate, his eyes were closed as he enjoyed the silence. No Mami. No Krolia. No Veronica. No beeping from medical machinery. No, all he could hear was Keith cursing occasionally as he cleaned up his shack. Being unable to bend his knee, Keith had sent him outside while he cleaned. Lance was supposed to be compiling their shopping list for that afternoon, but being pregnant, sleepy, and annoying the feel of the sun against his skin, he was too relaxed. Out of all the places in the world Keith could have stolen him off to, this was the last on his list, yet now he was here, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Keith loved the desert. He loved the rich and natural colours. The way the reds blended to bold purples and deep browns. The blue and seemingly endless sky stretched out above them without the slightest cloud cover. 

Letting his left hand drop over the side of the chair, Kosmo’s tail thumped lightly as he licked at Lance’s fingertips. Humming happily, the mug in his hand started to slip. He didn’t have the energy to bother saving it, there was still a little more than half in it. Keith had fussed about, making sure he had something to sip on while waiting for him. Making the joke “he wouldn’t say no to a hot chocolate”, his poor husband had taken it seriously. Seeing his growing stomach had really brought things home for Keith. Lance was trying his hardest to move past their disastrous mission. Trying his hardest not to let himself show his pain to Keith. He was grateful they were finally alone. Alone where no one was simply going to drop by for a visit unannounced. Hearing the squeaking of the shack’s wooden floor, followed the swing and light bang from the screen door, the mug was lifted from his hand as Keith dropped a kiss on top of his head  
“I need to do a run into town for cleaning supplies. Do you want to come with me?”  
Humming softly, the effort to move was too much. People seemed like too much effort... His heart twinged. His instincts didn’t want his husband to leave him behind again. Yet, he didn’t want to be “that husband”. He didn’t want to be too clingy. Not just for his husband, but himself. There were times in the future where they weren’t going to be in direct line of sight of each other. Plus, Keith said they needed to go food shopping and this was a cleaning supply run  
“Mmm. I think I’m going to stay here. It’s nice”  
“Are you sure? You could come for the ride over to town. It’s not that long”  
Dios. It was tempting. So fucking tempting  
“That means up and down that quiznakking ramp. I’ll come later when we do a food run. You should take Kosmo with you. He hasn’t eaten in a whole varga. It’s the end of his little world”

Keith snorted, leaning back to down nuzzle into Lance’s hair, pressing kisses to the spot as he did. Lance wasn’t the only one who’d loosened up considerably since arriving at the shack. Keith carried himself with the air of one returning home after a short holiday, not someone who only visited maybe once a year. They’d be spending a whole week here, then they were heading to the outpost for another, in order to get Marco settled. Keith wasn’t keen on returning to the outpost, yet listened when Lance explained that the time spent there would speed up his pregnancy, leaving him giving birth with time to recover before Hunk and Shay’s wedding. His husband accepting purely because this meant so much to him, and because he’d be by his side so it wasn’t as if Keith was being robbed of time with their developing children  
“Nah. I’ll leave him here. I won’t be too long. If anything happens then I’ll call you. Do you want me to pick up anything for lunch?”  
His husband was gently fishing. Lance had already started experiencing strange cravings but didn’t want to burden Keith with his whims  
“Whatever you feel like. Don’t get too carried away... and maybe not spicy”  
Pregnancy farts were potent... He didn’t need to let one rip when he settled down to snuggle his husband once the shack was cleaned up... No one warned you about how gassy pregnancy made you... except his Mami... and that was another conversation he’d never forgot as long as he lived  
“Alright, babe. I’ll be back soon”  
Tilting his head back, Lance smiled as Keith kissed him tenderly  
“Then you’re taking a break. You’re only cleared for light duties. I want to check your foot. I know it was keeping you up last night”  
His knee had left him miserable and unable to sleep. Rachel landing on his knee has caused it to swell back up again. The site throbbing and tender to movement. Keith had tried to snuggle with him last night, yet certain angles had his husband grimacing with pain and discomfort. The wound its self was now a scab on both sides, larger on the bottom than the top and the cause of his husband’s annoyance. The natural movement of the skin pulled on the scab. He really should be on crutches too  
“I know. I was hoping to have the dining table looking nice so we could eat lunch there... but I ran out of spray and there’s enough dust on there to... I don’t know... I got frustrated and drew a dick in the dust”

Lance barked with laughter. Keith was only ever patient with him, for the most part  
“At least you didn’t try to throw it. A little soapy water with some vinegar will sort that right out”  
“Vinegar?”  
“Kills mould. Chemicals aren’t great for the twins”  
“I didn’t think about that...”  
Keith frowned down at him, guilt in his words  
“Don’t. Hey. We’re new at this. There’s all sorts of “do’s and don’t’s”. I didn’t think about it until then either. Go already so you come back”  
“And you’ll be alright?”  
Keith had gone from being a “cuddly octopus” to a “constantly questioning his comfort, cuddly octopus”. Hearing his husband enquire over him had been nice once or twice, now it was frustrating, and grating on his nerves  
“I’ll be fine. This is nice... all this silence and peace is nice. I’m going to nap for a bit. Your babies are taking all my energy”  
“I can clear...”  
“Babe. Stop. You’re overcompensating. If I’m not ok, I’ll tell you. I’m enjoying the sun. I’ve got Kosmo. I’ve got something to drink. And I’m ok here”  
“You smell hurt, and I can’t calm down”  
Whatever these instincts were in both of them, Lance knew his side too well. The desire to monopolise Keith. To protect him. To stand by his side. To take away even the smallest sliver of pain that hued his scent. His husband didn’t want to be on edge, but his instincts were being idiots  
“It’s my knee, dummy. Of course, I smell hurt. But I’m ok. Now go”  
“You’ll call me...”  
“If anything happens. I promise. You’re the one I’m worried about. No picking fights or coming back with bruises. And no stabbing anyone”  
“Says the man who still keeps his knives in boots”  
Wriggling his bare toes, Lance shrugged  
“My boots are inside. Your knife is in the back of your jeans. I know you better than you think, dear husband of mine”  
“It’s not my fault people are idiots”  
“I know. We’re the kings of all idiots. Or napping. I think I’m going to be the king of napping until you return”  
Keith stole a soft kiss from his lips. His purple eyes filled with affection  
“Stay safe. I love you”  
“I love you, too”

Napping in the chair, Lance was out like a light until Keith returned. His husband having gotten carried away while shopping. Carrying their lunch over, Keith passed Lance his burger meal, then settled himself down on the front step of the shack. Opening his burger wrapper, his husband fished out a book that had been tucked up under his arm  
“What’s that?”  
Holding the book up, Lance felt a rush of love. The book was on pregnancy, and though not everything in it would apply to him, he felt himself tearing up. Quickly lowering the book, Keith deserted his burger back into the bag it came out of  
“Did I do something wrong?”  
Wiping his eyes with the back of his free hand, Lance then quickly shook his head  
“No. I’m kind of really happy right now. You bought a baby book...”  
“You got me thinking. We were going to look it up together but then everything happened. I... I asked the woman at the bookstore and she said this was the most popular one... and I um... asked the woman at the store which cleaning products were ok to use... I hope you don’t mind”  
“I’m crying because you made me happy, you arsehole. I have no idea what I’m doing and now I feel better because you’re trying to learn... Sorry, it’s probably the hormones”  
Starting to fan his face, Lance felt kind of stupid. Sliding across the step from the far side where he’d been leaning against the post, to the side closer to Lance’s feet, Keith gave him a smile that would melt the hearts of a million kittens  
“I thought we could take a look at it later? Did they say what they thought the conception date was?”  
“Around the 27th of April. Earth time”  
“And what’s it now?”  
“I don’t know... nearly July? I can’t math between movements and weeks right now”  
Because he was too fucking happy Keith wasn’t running away from his “dad duties”  
“I think you’re like 11 weeks... Which would explain why your stomach’s started getting so much bigger faster... 12 weeks is the safe point, isn’t it?”  
“They say so. But miscarriages and stillbirths can happen right up until the moment you give birth...”  
“I know... When I was at the shopping centre, I got to thinking about how you needed clothes. I mean, I was thinking about it before. It’s another one of the reasons I decided to bring you out here. So we could shop in peace... Then I started thinking about the twins and their needs. Is it too soon to buy cots? I supposed we should wait... but I was thinking if we picked them up now, we could just store them at the outpost... And we really need to talk about that. I know you don’t want to walk away from what you built up. And I know you can’t turn your work brain off. But I was also hoping... I was hoping you’d be open to buying a house here. With me”  
“Here... as in right here?”  
Keith loved the desert...  
“I have my shack here. I mean, we could build something more solid. But I was thinking of maybe near the Garrison. I could see about getting work there as a flight instructor... or something. Krolia probably still wants me to take over Daibazaal, but I want our kids to grow up on Earth... Or at least go to school on Earth. Plus, Mami would never let us get away with not visiting super regularly. And if Curtis and Shiro retire soon, it’d be nice to be near them too”  
Feeling as if he was becoming too emotional, Lance joked  
“You just want two free baby sitters”  
“Yep. You got me. How are we supposed to have date night if we have no one to babysit?”

Placing his burger in his lap, Lance tilted his head  
“Where’s my husband? You look like him... you kind of sound like him... but you’ve written up this whole domestic fantasy... and Keith is never this well planned”  
“Fuck you. I am so. I’m just... I’m thinking about the babies. I was dreaming about them last night. Except I was pregnant. And it was triplets. And they were cats... And you were my doctor. But we weren’t dating anymore and it was all a secret... and then I had to give birth, but I was horny and I woke up needing to pee”  
Horny and needing to pee. Lance knew those feelings too well  
“Alright. You’re definitely Keith. Only Keith would tell me about his weird arse nightmares... Cats... maybe it’s your Galra genes telling you something?”  
“That you’re going to have a litter of kittens?”  
Lance snorted, a hand moving to his belly  
“Do you think they’ll have Galra ears?”  
Keith looked alarmed  
“I don’t know... What if they do? What if they have fur...?”  
“I think I don’t want to think about that... I hope they both look like you... but Krolia and Acxa are pretty... I’m putting them up for adoption if they look like Zarkon”  
“Don’t say that about our twins”  
“Why not? Zarkon was an ugly fucker”  
“Because they’re ours. Now eat your burger...”  
Keith continued to grumble about how his children would never be put up for adoption. Lance had made the joke, not thinking about Keith’s past... The happiness of his husband wanting to be part of the pregnancy started crumbling. His thoughts reminded him of how much a stupid fucking idiot he was, for not thinking before opening his mouth.

*  
With the store Keith wanted to take him to being open 24 hours, his husband insisted that he take a nap while he finished up cleaning the kitchen. Seeing Lance had spent most of the afternoon napping after checking Keith’s foot, he was tired of napping alone. Having caught Keith’s eyes on his swell more than once, Lance had made a show of stripping his shirt off to expose his breasts and stomach, then dropping his sweats as he stuck his arse out. Ignoring the pain in his knee, and those stupid bruises that still ran the length of his side, he climbed into Keith’s with a wave of his arse. Lying sideways atop the covers, he let his fingers drift across his belly, fingertips leaving goosebumps across where he traced. Feeling his husband’s eyes roaming across his exposed  
“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”  
“I’ve spent all day napping alone. Besides, you... kind of look like maybe you want to touch me?”  
Between his legs was starting to get wet, his mind deciding now was the perfect time for his dick to twitch in interest as it started to lengthen and thicken. Rolling onto his back, he let his fingers glide up across his sensitive chest. Brushing his thumb over this right nipple, pain and lust burst from the sensation, a moan escaping his lips as Keith growled. He’d wanted cuddles and now he wanted Keith to bend him in half and ride him until he’d drawn out every drop of cum of him.

With a flurry of rustling fabric, Keith stripped deftly. Climbing up, Keith was careful not to move his injured knee as he moved Lance’s left leg out the way. Placing his hands on Lance’s stomach, Keith started mouthing along Lance’s left hip, towards his snail trail. Warmth continued to pool in his stomach as Keith scent reached his nose. His husband smelt of safety. Of those warm bonfires and that raging scent of arousal. Whimpering out a stuttered moan as Keith sucked a possessive hickey above his underwear line, his husband pulled back  
“Does that hurt? If it hurts...”  
“No! No... God no...”  
Still, Keith abandoned his task, instead sliding his hands up to cup Lance’s breasts, kissing his nipples before lifting himself to kiss him deeply. Lance melting into the kiss. He’d wanted this for so long. He’d wanted Keith naked before him. He wanted to see his husband’s smooth skin. To see for himself that he was healed. Massaging and groping Lance’s budding breasts, Lance moaned into the kiss, hips bucking clumsily as he grew wetter. His hands coming to Keith’s back, fingertips digging lightly into his husband’s flesh as he tried to draw him closer.

Breaking the kiss, Keith moved back to his breasts, sucking and teasing his left nipple as his right hand moved to tug on Lance’s underwear, Lance lifting his hips in the hopes Keith would hurry up already. Biting down, the insides of Lance’s thighs twitched as he whined needily  
“Keith... Keith please...”  
Slowly dragging his teeth of Lance’s nipple Keith  
“You’re so fucking sexy...”  
“Then hurry up...”  
Snorting, Keith didn’t hurry up. He took his time to tease as he trailed kisses down his stomach before burying his face in Lance’s crotch, licking at the forming wet spot at the front of Lance’s boxers. Keith groaning he finally started tugging his underwear off  
“You smell fucking amazing...”

Stripped with a little bit of clumsiness due to the brace, his husband nudged him onto his side before raising Lance’s left knee to essentially place him in the recovery position. Dragging his tongue slowly down the cleft of his arse, Lance nearly came as Keith’s tongue ran over his opening, Keith gripping his hip as he hungrily applied himself with his lips and tongue, drawing forth waves of wetness and pleasure. Keith was the only one who’d ever made him feel this way, and for some reason, it felt so much better than normal. Gripping the sheets with clenched fists, he rocked in an attempt to gain friction on his neglected dick. He was melting. The pain from his trapped nipple rubbing against the sheet. The throbbing of his dripping dick. The sweet pleasure of his lover’s tongue fucking his needy opening. He was drunk on Keith. Close to orgasm far too soon  
“Babe... do it... wanna come with you in me”

Raising his left leg, Keith kisses the inside of his right thigh before nosing at his balls. The Cuban’s pubes drenched in wet and precum as his husband ran his tongue up the back of his sack and teased at his taint with the tip. Whimpering, Lance scrunched his eyes closed tightly as he fought off coming. He felt incredibly hypersensitive, confused over how slow Keith was going and teary from being teased  
“P-please”  
Swearing softly, Keith slipped out from under his left leg, shimming up to cuddle up behind him  
“I’m sorry, baby. ‘ didn’t mean to push you so far... you’re just so beautiful”  
Nipping at his shoulder Keith rutted up against him. His erection smearing wetness between Lance’s thighs. A fear suddenly struck him, an irrational fear that came from not seeing Keith’s face. His scent shifting drastically  
“Babe? Babe, what’s wrong?”  
“Can we... I want to see your face”  
“You’re crying because you want to see my face?”  
Nodding, it sounded stupid when Keith said it like that  
“Oh, babe. Here, come here... I love you... I just didn’t want to hurt your leg”  
“It’s fine... if it’s for you, it’s fine. You can do anything you want to me and it’s fine...”  
“I’m not doing anything that’s going to hurt you. I love you... we’re having sex because we love each other”  
“I want to see your face”

The position wasn’t great for his busted knee, yet Keith was soft and gentle. His lips and hands gliding across Lance’s caramel skin with practised ease, lavishing attention across his body. His presence a salve to his aching soul. Each wanton moan brought forth from the drag and thrust of Keith’s ribbed dick. Each jolt of pleasure shorting his brain as he came across his swollen stomach. Each wet slap as Keith chased his pleasure, the feeling of being so perfectly filled. Feeling Keith’s dick starting to swell, a strangled scream of pleasure bubbled up, another orgasm hitting out of nowhere as Keith buried himself as deeply inside as he could. The warmth spreading from his belly to his face as he blushed. Taking Keith’s face in his hands, he brought his husband down for panted sloppy kisses as Keith rode out the waves of pleasure crashing through him. His warmth and pure affectations. His love had felt hidden behind high walls. All of it had broken down to just the pair of them, alone in Keith’s shack, dozens of kilometres from the nearest person  
“I love you”  
“I love you too, babe. Fuck... you’re so beautiful... I could come from staring at this pretty little face of yours”  
Snorting at his husband, Lance let his arms drop as Keith dropped down to hold him, fingertips drawing some invisible pattern against his sweaty skin  
“Real romantic there...”  
“You know it... fuck... I’m ready for round two already. You do this to me. You know that right. I lost my virginity to you, and now I’m hopelessly addicted to this arse of yours”  
“Is that so? I was kind of hoping you liked my arse before...”  
“Oh. Trust me. Your arse... those long legs of yours... that things you do when you’re looking through the scope of your blaster... the way you move... and these hips of yours...”  
“I see my razor-sharp intellect failed to make your list”  
“If you were as smart as you thought you were, you never would have settled for someone like me”

Lance frowned, propping himself the best he could so he could see Keith’s face  
“Idiot. You’re the one good thing I have. You’re the one slumming it here. I mean... you’re so fucking hot all I have to do is look at you and I’m wet”  
“Now I notice you’re not including my intellect either”  
“That’s because we’re both dumbarses. It’s a fact of life by now”  
“I’ll give you dumb arse”  
Rocking his hips Lance moaned at the action. Keith pushing himself up and settling back to gaze down at him. A finger tracing a ribbon of cum as he smirked  
“More like a numb arse... You have no idea how horny I’ve been”  
“I think I have some idea... I also think we’re not getting out of bed any time soon”  
Laughing playfully, Lance raised a hand to shove lightly against Keith’s shoulder  
“Oh. You think you’re that good?”  
“You’re not going to be walking straight for a month by the time I’m done with you”  
“I already can’t walk straight. You’re going to have to do better than that”  
“Just you wait and see”

Naked and cuddling in Keith’s bed, Lance had his good leg wrapped around Keith as he cuddled into his side. Keith’s hand was resting on his belly, the pair sharing soft kisses and touches. Lance couldn’t remember how many times Keith had brought him to orgasm, only that too much pleasure turned to spreading numbness and fatigue. His whole body leaden, relying completely on Keith to initiate the sweet kisses he bestowed each time Lance’s eyes started to droop closed. He didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to enjoy the softness of Keith’s tickling breath. The way his husband’s hair was ruffled from him gripping his mullet. His lips kiss swollen, with drool on the left side of his face. Despite his exhaustion, Keith had fetched a towel to clean him up. Then he’d unleashed his cuddly octopus side, resulting in the simple pleasure of being held by the man he loved for the past hour. 

Bopping his nose with his finger, Lance’s momentary cross-eyedness caused Keith to chuckle  
“If you’re sleepy, you should sleep”  
“I’m fine”  
“Babe, you’re more asleep than awake”  
“We were supposed to go food shopping”  
“That can wait until tomorrow. You need your sleep”  
“But I’m happy... I don’t want this feeling to go away”  
Keith kissed him again  
“I’m happy too. I don’t know what it is about this place, but it makes me feel at peace”  
“Me too.. it’s nice, not worrying, you know?”  
“I do. Everything started here. At the time, I wouldn’t have believed we’d be back here like that once day”  
“Do you think we can find the cave again? Where Blue used to be?”  
“You want to head up there?”  
“I think it’s time...”  
Yawning softly, talking had sapped the last of his energy. Settled in Keith’s safe arms, and surrounded by Keith’s scent, sleep came easily.

*  
Lance had decided getting Keith worked up wasn’t one of his best ideas. He’d been trying to shower under the horrendous water pressure after being woken in the middle of the night by nausea. Feeling flat, fat, starving, sore, and gassy, the last thing he needed was a good morning blow job, then a quickie with Keith fucking between his thighs as Lance squeezed his legs together, agitated by being so damn horny, and annoyed by the fact that his arse was the only part of him the hot water was hitting. If he’d had to survive shitty pressure like this through puberty, he was sure he wouldn’t turned out the “nice and well adjusted” adult he was. Coming between his legs, he very nearly murdered his husband when Keith started peeing. He got it. No one felt human until after that first-morning pee... but he didn’t appreciate the smell of pee in the shower, or being peed on like Keith was marking his territory. Grumbling at Keith, his husband laughed it off with kisses. That was the one thing that kept him from being gutted for ignoring basic human etiquette.

With no food in the shack, and the prospect of scavenging through the ship for something, Lance bossed Keith into taking shopping on empty stomachs. His crutches and the influx of scents proved to slow and dampen his mood. His anxiety levels sky-high as they wandered through the first level of the shopping centre about 15 minutes away from Keith’s shack. They weren’t even in the same state anymore. The journey probably would have taken a few hours by hoverbike, with them having skipped the city by the Garrison completely. Fashioned on an older Earth styled mall, he enjoyed the change from standard space malls and trade moons. Things had naturally changed to accommodate the influx of alien species, but there were just some things that you couldn’t replace or replicate. Like doughnuts. The moment that sugary cinnamon scent reached them, Lance was hobbling forward as fast as his busted leg allowed. 

Devastated that he couldn’t use both crutches and munch away on his doughnuts, Lance forced his spare crutch upon Keith as they took their time exploring the first level of the shopping centre. It was his personal opinion that Keith should have been using a crutch anyway. His foot was still a cause of discomfort, hence, Keith shouldn’t be weight bearing on it. Galra or not, his husband was precious to him. Pregnant or not, he wanted his husband in one piece. Holding up a chocolate-dipped sprinkled doughnut, Keith stole a bite from it, laughing at the look of sheer anguish on Lance’s face  
“I’m sorry, babe. It was too tempting to not”  
“You’re getting too cheeky for your own good. I bought these doughnuts with my own GAC”  
“And I’ll buy you more before we leave. Is there anywhere, in particular, you want to go?”  
He had a few places he wanted to hit up. None of which he’d talked at length with Keith about  
“We’ll save food shopping for last. Do you guys have cold storage on your ship?”  
“Not really”  
“Then we’ll save food shopping for the outpost for after we’ve picked Marco up. If we take him with us, he’s going to want everything. I need clothes for now and later. We need a present for Krolia. A present for Hunk and Shay. Enough food for the week... um... baby things?”  
Keith let out a sigh  
“I wanted to surprise you with that. I thought we could look for cots... and stuff. It’s part of the reason I wanted to bring you back to Earth. I wanted you to have... clothes and things you liked you... so you’re comfortable later on... I don’t know if I’m saying this right...”  
Scratching his nape, Keith had a slight red dusting on his cheeks. Lance’s heart skipping a beat.

Holding out the rest of the chocolate doughnut for Keith, his husband had some nerve being so amazingly amazing so early in the morning. He was just about crying thinking about how so much had changed since the accident. Keith had stepped up more than he could have expected. At the same time, he feared that he’d only stepped up because he’d nearly died. That he was trying so hard to make Lance happy not because he loved him, but as some grand apology which when the dust settled would leave them fighting all over again. The little voices reminding him he was a beaten coward who couldn’t face an Earth mall without his husband by his side. His appetite for doughnuts was ruined by his own mind  
“Babe? Did I say something wrong?”  
Taking the box from his hand, while holding the part eaten chocolate-covered doughnut in his mouth, his husband led him the few steps to the brick wall between storefronts. 

Caging him from public view, Lance rested his forehead against his husband’s shoulder  
“That’s it. Slow deep breaths for me”  
He hadn’t realised that his breathing had grown uneven during the few moments he was lost in his head. Following his husband’s lead, Lance took half a dozen slow and deep breaths before Keith asked  
“Better?”  
“Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t notice... I was in my head”  
“It’s fine. We’ll take today as slow as you need. Maybe it would have been better to come sooner, and you know... miss the crowds and that”  
“No. It’s fine. It’s my head being silly... I was really happy that... that you were thinking about the future. Then I got scared that this wouldn’t last...”  
Letting Keith interpret the words how he wanted, his husband rubbed his cheek up against Lance’s temple  
“Idiot. Of course, it is. All marriages have ups and downs. All I want is you to be happy and the twins to be healthy. And don’t forget, it’s your birthday next month. We need to...”  
“I don’t celebrate my birthday”

Lance was slightly too firm in informing Keith of his lack of birthday. But when your previous birthday was missed due to... everything going to absolutely quiznak... and you can’t even remember if you were drunk, stoned or being raped for the one before it... then before that one, you were grieving the loss of the woman you’d loved... and drunk... and possibly stoned... and before that Voltron... Now he was making himself miserable realising he hadn’t celebrated his birthday as day just about him since his 16th... and he was at the garrison for that one. 8 years of not so great birthdays... That was including the three years of missing birthdays...  
“Even if I want to celebrate with you?”  
“It doesn’t hold any special feelings for me anymore”  
“It’s the first time we’re going to get to celebrate it together, and the last time we can celebrate together before we become parents. I want it to be special”  
Dios. Why was Keith so quiznakking sweet? His husband wanted to do something together... His once antisocial husband... who’d probably had more than his fair share of unhappy birthdays... He didn’t want the love of his life to suffer because the day was ruined for him  
“No cake. No candles. No singing. I don’t want a present, instead, I want to spend the whole day with you and Kosmo”  
“There must be something you want...”  
Now that sweetness was yo-yo-ing back to annoyance  
“You. I want you for the whole day. That’s all. No work. No mission. No drama”  
“That doesn’t seem like much of present”  
“It’s my birthday. I get to choose. I choose you”  
“Alright. I still wish you’d let me do more. You’re my husband”  
“You being by my side is all I need. We should make a start. I’ll follow your lead”  
“Aren’t you a professional at shopping?”  
“Not on Earth anymore. It’s not the same as it used to be... Now I’m getting depressed again. Let’s just go?”

*  
Lance’s mood continued to be all over the place. Hitting up the department store, he burst into tears when he saw the baby booties on special, then nearly accidentally took out a poor innocent woman with his crutches when he lost his temper in the maternity section. He was a guy. He wanted plain clothes. Not flowery things that looked like he was wearing a bad vase. He didn’t want shirts that dipped down to show his budding cleavage, nor did he want embroidered jeans. It all served to slap him across the face with the fact he wasn’t normal. He wanted long sleeves to cover his self-harm scars, but they only had sparkly stuff... And when it came to maternity bras, he ended up sobbing on the floor of the changing rooms while Keith’s was left comforting him. His husband had so desperately wanted this to be a positive thing for them both. Apologies poured from his lips, Keith rubbing his back and kissing his hair. He felt like a freak. It wasn’t like he’d never dressed as a girl before for work. Or to surprise Keith. But looking at his changing body, with his belly standing out, and his breasts clad in a bra that would eventually become a much-needed part of his wardrobe, it was all too much on his nerves.

Wanting to protect him from himself, Keith grabbed the plainest of the clothes they’d chosen before they left the change room. Placing his crutches in the shopping trolley, his husband kept an arm around his waist so Lance could hide against him. He felt as if everyone knew, unable to face the few fans that recognised him. Keith smoothly covering for their shopping selection with the fact that Krolia was pregnant. His mood stayed low until Keith nudged him, and Lance realised they were in front of cots. It took Lance all of thirty seconds to fall in love with a beautiful white wooden cot. It was simple and plain, yet that was what made it so beautiful to him. All the others had weird slopey bits he wasn’t sure of, and boasted a range of features that meant nothing to him. Laughing softly, his husband kissed his temple as Lance gripped the top railing, staring at the premade mattress, dressed in soft blue blankets with a white rabbit in the corner  
“I think we’ve found our cots”  
“It’s beautiful”  
Keith nuzzled into his temple, pressing another kiss to the spot  
“You’re beautiful. I can see the love in your eyes”  
“Do you like it? There are fancier ones... maybe they’re better...”  
“Babe, you’re rambling. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. The twins are going to be perfect”  
Snorting wetly, Lance wiped his nose on his sleeve  
“I’m sorry I had a meltdown”  
“It’s alright. It’s a lot for you. And I know it is. I can’t imagine how I’d feel being on the other side of this. You’re never repulsive to me. This body is carrying our little miracles and it’s pretty damn amazing”  
Quiznak he was crying again. Throwing himself on his husband, Keith laughed lightly as he wrapped his arms around him  
“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that”  
“I know it gets busy in your head, but I’m your husband. That accident is the single happiest accident I’ve ever had”  
“Better than finding out you’re gonna be a dad?”  
“Yeah, because there’s no one else I want to be going through all of this with”  
“You’re such a quiznakking sap”  
“I’m your quiznakking sap. So that’s a yes for the cots?”  
Lance nodded in an almost exaggerated manner  
“Yes!”  
“Ok. Ok. You’re gonna have to let me down so I can load the boxes in. We’ll need to grab the matching mattresses too”  
“And the blankets... We’re gonna have so much to unload at the outpost”  
“I thought we agreed that we’d raise the twins on Earth”

Breaking the embrace and wiping his eyes. The idea of leaving the outpost was too distressing, yet something he knew he needed to face. In consideration for Keith’s wishes and his own, he’d come up with a compromise  
“I... was thinking initially we could stay at the outpost. Daehra’s there so there’s medical help if anything goes wrong... and... I want to... I want to spend as much quality family time alone together that we can fit in, before coming back. If I give birth there, I’ll have longer to recover before the wedding... I want to have that us time. I know our friends mean well, but this is fucking hard already... Then... when the time is right, I want to move with you. But for now, can I be selfish?”  
“I thought you were trying to be polite in telling me that Earth wasn’t going to happen”  
“You’re their daddy. You have a say in all of this. Your opinion is important to me. We’re a team, right?”  
Keith was quick to agree, giving him a quick peck on the lips  
“The best team. Keith and Lance, neck and neck”  
“You’re such a loser”  
“I’m your loser”

With the cots and mattress boxes filling the trolley, Keith fetched another one. Being the idiots they were, they may have completely gone overboard with onesies and outfits of various sizes... not knowing what they were having didn’t stop Lance. Then there were nappies, bibs, dummies, and tiny tiny shoes that were tiny. Boys could wear pink just as well as girls could. Pink was traditionally a boys colour centuries ago. Plus extra outfits gave them more choice when Keith’s sibling was born. With all the attention being lavished on their unborn children, Lance started feeling as if they were neglecting Kosmo. Their spoilt rotten wolf earning himself a new bed for Keith’s room and ship, and a second for the Telula and the outpost. Plus new bowls, new chew toys, treats, blankets, a new brush, shampoo, conditioner... He may have gotten carried away with his love for his fur son. Keith insisted that Kosmo didn’t need everything he was putting in, Lance choosing to feign deafness as he started pushing the shopping trolley towards the register. His knee was getting worse, and the roller coaster of emotions had taxed him badly enough he was ready for a nap. Food shopping completely forgotten by rising nausea the bright lights and scents of the store. A cold sweat had broken out across his skin, as if he was clammy with fever. He needed to sit, lest he risk his lightheadedness turning to fainting, and Keith discovered he wasn’t feeling well.

Making it out the department store, he should have been home free. Agreeing that they should probably dump everything in the ship, he’d waved Keith off to unload the cots and mattress, while he stayed put. His husband was unnecessarily firm in telling him not to move. At the time, Lance had whole heartily agreed to stay sitting, his knee appreciating no longer having to stand him up. Yet, as he sat and waited, his nausea grew. The lights of the shopping centre seemed to grow brighter by the second, his breathing catching in preparation to vomit. It was one of his least graceful moments as he clamped a hand to his mouth, rushing as politely as he could to the nearest toilet. Locking himself in the parents' room, he felt guilty for taking up the space as he wasn’t a parent yet. Falling to his knees in front of the toilet, his precious doughnuts tasted horrible as they came back up. Fear filling him over his vulnerable position. Keith wasn’t there. He was in some random shopping centres bathroom, pregnant and scared that any random stranger would stumble upon his secret. His husband’s scent nearly muted by far too many stranger scents. He couldn’t breathe due to the intensity of the pain radiating from his bent knee. Panicking, he hit his comms trying to call Keith as his stomach expelled its weak contents... Out of nowhere, he felt himself sliding sideways, vomit running from his drooly mouth as his body seized violently. 

His seizure only lasted a handful of excruciating long moments, before his body finally fell limp. Each of his muscles burned as like he’d run a marathon, his legs cramped so painfully they felt knotted. His fingers felt as if they’d been twisted in their sockets, yet he was incredibly grateful he hadn’t been standing when it’d hit. Keith loved their twins. If he lost them, there was no way they could come back from that. Keith would tell him until he was blue in the face that he didn't blame him, yet he would. He couldn’t take his medication properly, and now whatever supreme entity out there was laughing at him.

Sluggish and slowly, Lance peeled himself off the floor when Keith started knocking. Letting his husband in, he all but collapsed into Keith’s hold, his husband not missing a beat as he carried him over to sit in the nursing chair near the small microwave in the space. Hushing him, Keith’s wonderfully cool palm was placed against his forehead, Lance leaning into the touch  
“You feel warm”  
“I don’t feel great”  
The words had barely been mumbled when he was throwing up again. There wasn’t a lot left to throw up, but it was enough to be mortifying as it landed down Keith’s jacket. Emotionally compromised, he broke down into sobs. His inner instincts instantly fearing Keith was going to strike him for his mistake as he shrunk away from the half-Galra. Gagging and choking, Keith whipped his jacket off, holding it to Lance's chin as he threw up mostly spit and drool, the hand not holding the jacket in place wiped at his chin  
“Let it out. It’s ok”  
It definitely wasn’t ok. He should be banned from jackets for life. Whimpering as his stomach cramped again, Keith didn't shy from the situation  
“It’s ok, babe. The jackets machine washable. By this time tomorrow, it’ll have been washed, hung out, and brought back in”  
Being machine washable did help to ease his guilt, but only by a minuscule amount. For some reason, Slav and his weird arse calculations popped to mind. 

When he didn’t throw up further, Keith emptied out one of the bags of shopping and wrapped his jacket there before returning to kneel in front of him  
“I think it’s time we head home. I know it’s a lot to ask, but can you stand? I don’t want to leave you here alone while I put all this in my ship”  
“I’ll be ok”  
“Are you sure? We can take it slow. Plenty of breaks”  
“No... I just wanna go home...”  
He was sorry. So fucking sorry. His husband had wanted to spend a fun day shopping, but his head and his anxieties had to be stupid about it  
“Ok. Then we can snuggle up and watch something?”  
“Just want to snuggle. Feel gross”  
“Snuggles it is”

With Keith taking almost all his weight, Lance was simply along for the ride. There were a few stores that caught his interest, yet the moment they’d passed them he’d forgotten all about it. Helped up the loading ramp, he skipped making his way up to the cockpit in favour of the cool feeling from the metal floor. He knew Keith was worrying, and that his silence had his husband on edge. He didn’t have the energy to pretend to be fine. All he wanted to do was be away from prying eyes and noisy crowds. He wanted the peace of Keith’s desert shack, and to cuddle his husband as they lay tangled together on the sofa. He’d ruined the whole day for Keith, and now he had the nerve to cling to his husband and seek sympathy as if he was the one who deserved it. Refusing to move from the cargo bay, Keith let him rest there with Kosmo’s new ship bed for a pillow and bucket procured out of nowhere in case he vomited again. Quiznak, he didn’t deserve Keith.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sitting here with no updates to read :(... here’s looking at you “were-woof”...
> 
> So have an update... and maybe I’ll finish the next chapter tonight

Distressed by Lance’s distress, and seizure, Keith went to great pains to make his husband comfortable. The pain Lance was suffering was written all over his face, from his bitten bottom lip to the tight lines near eyes. Lance had scared him half to death when the video on his comms started shaking, his heart in his throat until he caught sight of Lance’s blue eyes open in the top corner of the transmission. As far as seizures went, it was one the lightest he’d seen his husband have, barely lasting 10 seconds before it was all over. Keith wasn’t sure it even counted as seizure given how quickly it passed, but with how drained Lance was, it most certainly had to be... and he had been running, so it was possible that it’d actually been longer than he’d thought.

Getting his husband into the shack and settled on the sofa was easier than expected. Lance reaching for him from the floor of the cargo bay, allowing him to lift him up to his chest with ease, then carry him down and straight through to the sofa where he laid them both out, his husband’s head resting on his chest as Keith stoked his hair. He really should have expected a seizure. Trying on clothes had sent Lance into a panic attack. Keith was kicking himself for not considering online shopping. Not only was the variety larger, but his husband also didn’t have to feel like a freak for wearing women’s clothes, when he definitely wasn’t. People could wear whatever the hell they liked, the only one it affected was them themselves. And, if he’d been thinking, he knew Lance had self-image problems dating back longer than before they'd become a "them" or even a team. He’d unthinkingly pushed Lance into a minefield of triggers and felt like a quiznakking douche for doing so. Still. He was proud. He was stupidly happy at the memory of the expression on Lance’s face as his eyes landed on the white cot. Sheer love radiated from him as if he could see one of their children already sleeping.

When Lance fell asleep, Keith went to work. His husband was oblivious as he opened up a browser in his comms. Despite his love for Razzel-Dazzel, his husband had wanted plain clothes that would suit him as his body grew. He may be pregnant, but his whole sexual identity rested on him being very much male. Unsure where to start, he types in “pregnancy plain clothes”, because his brain had forgotten that “maternity” was a work. The ads along the top of the browser made him wrinkle his nose. All the beaded and plunging necklines weren’t his husband. Lance had made it very clear that he wasn’t comfortable with showing cleavage, so Keith was going to do his best to respect his husband’s wishes. Not that Keith had a problem with Lance’s changing body. He adored his husband for him. The brain damage, missing fingered, scarred, scared, anxious and changing him. Yes, there were times when they drove each other crazy. When they didn’t talk for days, but even so, he loved Lance. When he was scared and acting like an idiot, he loved Lance. Seizures still scared the quiznak out of him, yet he was sure with a little time and fiddling around, they’d be able to find a successful way for his husband to be able to take his medication. The most important thing was getting Lance comfortable and feeling safe enough to attempt taking them again.

*  
When Lance woke from his nap, his husband was starving. “Keeeeeith, my stomach is eating itself”, was his actual words, so Keith was sent food shopping semi-alone. Kosmo in a supermarket was asking for trouble. Lance couldn’t stomach crowds at the moment. The solution to the problem was to leave his husband with the remaining ration bars, and on video call, meaning Lance could boss him around while he did the leg work. Keith was sure that they didn’t need as much food as Lance had him fetching. Half the things he wasn’t sure of, nor was he sure of the various cuts of meat he was instructed to buy. It didn’t help that Lance kept changing his mind. Growing tired of it, he left the call connected and stopped listening to his husband’s ramblings, Lance noticing Keith had stopped listening, started singing broken up show tunes, jumping from song to song mid-sentence. Progressively the volume of Lance’s singing grew until Keith couldn’t ignore him further, raising the comms up to scold him, he found Lance grinning brightly as he held onto Kosmo. His idiot truly was one of a kind.

Keith’s reward for shopping was to be promptly kicked out his own shack. With the two-seater kitchen table sagging under the weight of the bags, Lance started shooing him, “la-la-ing” over his protests. He was hot, tired and annoyed at not being able to come home and kick back on the sofa with Kosmo. The server had recognised him from his stint as Black Paladin. All he wanted to do was buy goddamn food for him, his husband, and their wolf. Not pose for photos, sign signatures on whatever was available and be followed back to his ship. Voltron was old news. Really old news. He’d much rather be recognised for the humanitarian work, and the work of his team... mostly the work of his team... all the work of his team... He’d take the background character that edges his way out of public sight and mind. If he hadn’t been the Black Paladin, then he wouldn’t be forced to wait with Kosmo outside his own damn home.

When Lance finally let him inside his shack, his husband’s hands were covering his eyes. Laughing against the shell of his ear, they nearly tripped as Lance guided him inside  
“Babe...”  
“We’re almost there... ok, take two steps to the left for me...”  
Keith’s stomach rumbled loudly, despite the fact he couldn’t actually see any food. The shack, however, smelt amazing. There was some kind of herby scent in the air and meat... and... he didn’t know. He was starving and there was food. That was all he and his stomach were getting at the moment. Feeling his hands hit the wood of the dining chair, he came to a stop  
“Ta-dah!”  
Dropping his hands, Keith was greeted by Lance’s work comms acting as a candle, a simple green salad, and some kind of stew-like meat dish that looked amazing  
“Y-you made dinner?”  
Now that his hands were free, Lance wrapped his arms around Keith’s waist, digging his chin into his shoulder as he nodded  
“Today was hard. My head was all over the place and I not only scared you but bossed you around, had a seizure, had a breakdown and forced you to have cuddly naps on the sofa. It’s all simple things. I’m still pretty drained, but I wanted to do this for you. You’re my husband and I love you. I appreciate the things you do. Even when I can’t tell you I do. And now I’m crying... Baby hormones are a force to be reckoned with...”

Turning in Lance’s arms, Keith was stunned  
“You cooked dinner... for me?”  
“You’re acting like it’s never happened before”  
There was dinner, and then there was dinner... with a table cloth that looked suspiciously like a sheet, an attempt at candles, and a meal that was somewhat adult  
“This... all of this... I should be the one cooking dinner for you”  
“I wanted to cook for you. I didn’t do dessert though. My stomach looked at ice cream and said no. Then when it looked at the cake boxes... it got worse. You can totally knock yourself out though. I think I put things away in the right position. I mean, I tried. I gave the fridge a wipeout while you were ignoring me. Kosmmmmn-“  
Silencing his husband with a kiss, Lance’s mouth tasted of mint, his husband having found time to brush his teeth. Indulging himself, Lance broke the kiss as Keith grabbed a fist full of hair to deepen it  
“You’ll have to save that for after dinner”  
Though playfully toned in his reply, Lance’s scent had shifted to fear. Keith momentarily hurt, then reasoning his husband had had a long day. He’d hit his limit and though the touch wasn’t unwelcome, his anxieties weren’t in his control  
“I’m looking forward to. Especially if it’s as good as this meal looks”  
“It’s... uh... Let’s eat. Yeah. I don’t know what I was about to say, but I’m hungry”

Dinner was amazing, but dessert was better. Splitting the washing up with Lance washing and Keith drying, they settled down on the sofa to watch a movie. Cuddling into his husband, Lance has his arm wrapped around Keith’s shoulders as the movie began. For the life of him, Keith couldn’t remember a single thing that happened. He was too focused on the way Lance was looking at him. The love in his eyes was on a whole other level. A level Keith felt he didn’t deserve, yet was grateful as quiznak to be receiving. This was the shack he was conceived in. This was the shack where his parents fell in love and he was born. This was the shack that was the last remaining solid remnants of his father. Willed to him, along with everything the man owned, then left to sit after death until Keith found himself with nowhere to go. Now he was living here with his husband, all be it temporarily, who was pregnant with their children. Normally he wasn’t one for nostalgia, if asked that is, but having his husband here... Having his family here... He was struck hard with waves of emotion. A life where he came home fo, Lance, every day... that... he wanted that. He thought that was how things would be with the outpost, even if he couldn’t return every day, it’d be at least once a movement. Only. Before he knew it he’d left Lance struggling for phoebs. Lance was far from alright. Keith knew he wasn’t being completely honest over how many things he’d missed or how many ways he’d hurt him by accident. He knew because his husband was a decent and kind man. He’d take every ounce of another’s pain if he could. He was a selfless and reckless pain in the arse, that he adored to point of possessiveness. He knew that wasn't healthy, but when your husband has a habit of ”accidentally” getting himself into trouble, it was natural to want to be by their side to prevent something going wrong.

“If you don’t like the film, I can change it”  
Brought back to reality by Lance kissing his cheek, Keith felt himself blushing for no reason  
“Sorry. What was that?”  
“The movie, if you don’t like it, I can change it”  
“It’s fine...”  
“Your head’s up in the clouds anyway?”  
Keith nodded, wriggling down lower to cuddle into Lance further  
“Wanna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, Samurai?”  
Keith sighed softly  
“I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you”  
Kissing the top of his head, Lance echoed his sigh  
“I’m the lucky one. I’m so fucking lucky you haven’t got sick of me yet”  
“Like I’d get sick of you. I was thinking about how I was born in this shack, then about how nice it is to have my family here, with me... I wonder what my father would have thought of it all”  
With a soft sigh, Lance nuzzled into his hair, speaking between the kisses he peppered on his hair  
“He would be proud of you. So proud of the man you’ve become”

Shoving his husband playfully, Keith hoped Lance was right. That somewhere out there, his father wasn’t being forced to watch Krolia fall in love with someone else. Would they have stayed together? Or fought? Would he have stayed with his mother if she’d stayed on Earth? Would his father still have died? Would he even have attended the Galaxy Garrison? Would he have approved of Lance? Or that he was gay? There were so many things he wanted to be able to tell his father... all the things that fire had taken away from them.

“Babe, you want to go to bed?”  
Leaning back slightly to look up at his husband, Lance had a soft smile upon his lips  
“I thought you wanted to watch this movie?”  
“I did, but there’s something on your mind. You don’t have to tell me, but I thought maybe you’d like an early night?”  
“It’s nothing... I’m...”  
He was what? Longing for a different reality with the chance of seeing his father again?  
“You’re still thinking about your father. It’s ok. It’s ok to miss him. To wonder about what might have been. It wasn’t fair that he was taken so young... and it’s ok to be angry about that too”  
“I hate it when you look at me and read my mind. Have I ever told you that?”  
Feeling slightly embarrassed, Keith dropped his head back to resting against Lance’s chest  
“I don’t remember. Probably. It sounds like something you’d say. Just don’t go forgetting you can talk to me. I’m not great at a lot of things, but I’ll listen when you talk”  
He could never let go of the pull he still felt towards his father, yet Lance calmly reminded him that he didn’t have to choose. He didn’t have to choose between the family he’d had and the one they were building, and that was ok  
“Yeah. Yeah. I know you will babe. Bed sounds good. Want a hand up?”  
Lance groaned as he stretched  
“God, yes. I think your sofa is trying to eat my pregnant arse”  
“I’ll fight it for the right. That arse is mine”  
Letting out a brilliant laugh, Keith’s heart skipped at the sound of Lance’s happiness  
“I don’t mean literally. Sheesh. Now help me up. I’m beached”  
“You’re not beached, you’ve been eaten”  
“Ahhhh. I see. That’s why I love you. For that amazing intellect of yours... it’s definitely not for this sofa”  
Keith scoffed as was he dragged himself to his feet  
“This coming from you? The man who broke the spring... My sofa is fine, thank you”  
“It’s vicious attacked me. Tried to eat me, and you say it’s fine?”  
Holding his hand out, Keith nodded  
“Yep. Now come on you big baby. I need my cuddles”  
“And you call me the baby...”

*  
After Lance cooked him dinner, Keith wanted to return the favour by making his husband breakfast in bed. Soft sweet nuzzling and gently kisses had turned into slow sex. Lance riding him and Keith falling in love with his husband’s changing body all over again. He marvelled in the way Lance’s stomach seemed to have grown a little more since that morning. The tiny jiggle in Lance’s breasts, and the way his hands wandered over his belly... Keith wasn’t one for random fits of crying during sex, yet his pride and love for Lance nearly reduced to him to just that. Things were so much better when it was the two of them. Lance didn’t hide nearly as much shit as he did when he feared it’d affect the way they acted around their friends. When he’d tried to wake Lance earlier, his husband had told him he couldn’t get out of bed. Suffering from a nightmare after they’d fallen asleep spooned up together. Being asleep, and Lance not waking in a fit of screaming, Keith felt guilty for missing it. Lance had waved it off, giving him a small kiss before moving to cuddle into Kosmo.

Having spent the last varga in the kitchen, all that had happened was Keith learned he was a way worse cook than Lance. Having found an old box from the back of the shack, he’d cut it down to make a breakfast tray... that was a little wonky around the edges, but the main point to take away was that he’d tried. He wanted to do the kind of setup one sees in movies and adverts... but he hadn’t had any flowers, so he’d butchered some paper cutting them out and then being embarrassed over the job they’d promptly been scrunched up and discarded. He’d poured a glass of juice for his husband... then looked to the fridge for inspiration. If his husband wasn’t feeling great, he wouldn’t want a heavy or big meal. This all resulted in him making scrambled eggs on toast... which he somehow butchered. The toast was slightly burnt on the edges, so that was scraped off. The bread bag melted to the side of the toaster... worsening his mood. When it came to tipping the eggs on, they were... a mess. They were big and fluffy... no. They were washed out granules of egg. That was the final straw. All the emotions of everything he’d been holding onto breaking, as he clutched the edge of the kitchen sink and cried. In his head, this was all going to be perfect. Perfect like Lance was... His husband had a fault or ten, so things like the edge of the toast being burnt wasn’t a major deal. He just... he didn’t understand how he’d butchered the eggs. Had he put too much milk in? You’re supposed to use a lot...? Why hadn’t he looked this up? Why was he being so inept when...

“Keith?”  
Quiznak...  
“Go back to bed, Lance”  
“You’re crying”  
Lance’s voice was soft and full of concern  
“It’s nothing. Go back to bed”  
Lance said he wasn’t having a good day, so why was he up? Padding softly through the kitchen, his husband drew him into his hold  
“I’m here... you’re ok”  
“I’m sorry...”  
Clutching Lance, Keith couldn’t stop his tears  
“I tried to make you breakfast and I ruined it. I can’t even make scrambled eggs. How am I supposed to look after you? How am I supposed to be a good dad if I c-can’t make breakfast”  
Lance hushed him, kissing his cheek  
“You tried to make me breakfast?”  
Nodding, Keith was ashamed of himself  
“You made dinner and you weren’t having a good morning and what are you even doing out of bed?”  
“I had to pee... then I heard thudding out here”  
Reduced to mumbles of shame, he wanted the world to open up and swallow him  
“I fucked up”  
“I’m sure it’s not that bad”  
“It’s worse than bad. All I wanted to do was make you breakfast”  
“What were you making?”  
“Scrambled eggs on toast... but everything went wrong. I couldn’t cut the s-stupid flowers and the bag melted and...”  
Lance laughed at him. He was crying his eyes and his husband was laughing  
“Get off me!”  
“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing because you’re so fucking special to me. Can I try the eggs?”  
Lance wasn’t quite off the hook for laughing... but Keith had laughed at how adorable Lance was before, so didn’t have the right to argue  
“They don’t even look like eggs”  
“I don’t mind... We could make them again together if you want?”

Moving out of Lance’s arms, Keith wiped at his face, before casting a glance at the pathetic cardboard tray on the counter  
“That’s probably safer”  
Sidestepping around him, Lance picked up the fork on the tray and started poking at the eggs  
“I know what went wrong here. I’ve done it a hundred times before. You made the eggs too wet and started mixing them too soon”  
How did one make “eggs too wet”? Eggs were naturally wet...  
“Eggs are supposed to be wet”  
Stabbing at a few eggy fragments, Lance brought the fork to his lips and Keith once again wished the Earth would swallow him. Chewing, Lance hummed thoughtfully  
“Yeah. Too much milk and too much salt”  
“I didn’t even add salt!”  
He hadn’t... because he wasn’t entirely sure where the salt was. Piling the fork up again, Lance moved it to Keith’s lip, Keith not exactly willing as he opened his mouth... The moment the eggs hit his tongue, he was wrinkling his nose. Maybe the heavens above were looking out for his husband by preventing him from poisoning him with this meal  
“Why’s it salty?”  
“I have no idea... I don’t know where the salt is...”  
Lance snorted, placing the fork back down  
“That’s somewhat worrying. It’s ok. I’ll talk you through how to make scrambled eggs like a professional. Mami never needs to know about this murder”  
“But your... you said... you said you weren’t having a good day”  
“It’s not uncommon for me to have a bad day, babe. And yeah, I wanna go back to bed, but how could I possibly leave you when you look so sad? Why don’t we make breakfast together, then go back to bed? I mean, I’m probably going to go back to sleep, but that’s alright once in a while, isn’t it?”  
This vacation was supposed to be about sleeping and healing. Lance shouldn’t have to worry about sleeping too much  
“Yeah. I’m sorry I killed breakfast”  
Casting a glance to the washed-out eggs, Lance started laughing again  
“It is pretty dead... I don’t think a healing pod could save it”  
Instead of being insulted, Keith felt warmth in his chest. He was falling in love with his husband all over again, laughing falling from his lips as he nodded  
“I think it could give Coran’s cooking a run for its money”  
“Oh god! Don’t make me remember. You rinse the frying pan, and I’ll be back”  
Hold up. What?  
“Be back?”  
“Laughing while pregnant apparently makes you need to pee again. I think your twins are messing with me”  
“I’ve noticed they’re my twins when they’re giving you trouble”  
“As you should have... I think I’m fatter again”  
Keith suppressed his smile. The clothes he’d ordered would be available for collection the following day from the city backing the garrison. It used to be a trek from the Garrison into town, but with all the refugees the population had tripled in size. Until then, he just needed to keep quiet over his surprise  
“You’re pregnant, not fat. I think I’ve still got a few of dad’s things if you want something looser and comfier”  
Lance’s whole face lit up  
“That would be awesome... but only if you’re ok with it. I don’t want you doing something that you’re not ok with, because of me”  
“I’m choosing to believe he’d be happy that his things are helping. Besides, Shiro used to knock around in his clothes”  
“You, are the best husband I could ask for”  
“Just go pee already”  
Stealing a kiss, Lance limped off towards the bathroom. They were really going to have to pick positions that weren’t going to cause further strain on his husband’s knee... and the little shit needed to use his damn crutches.

Talking him through remaking scrambled eggs, Lance had far more patience than him as his husband sipped at his juice. He’d been wrong about the milk. In scrambled eggs, he wasn’t supposed to have a near equal ratio and letting them half solidify in the pan before starting to stir made for way fluffier eggs. Adjusting the knob on the toaster, the toast came out without being burnt. The successful completion of their meal gave him a ridiculous confidence boost. It was just scrambled eggs. He didn’t need to be so damn happy, yet as he loaded the cardboard tray, he couldn’t stop smiling. He’d made his husband breakfast... an edible breakfast that didn’t involve roasting meat or heating up goop... Telling him to wait for a few ticks before following, Lance headed into the bedroom first, going through the motions of “waking up”, and “acting surprised”. Calling his husband a dick, Keith was more than happy to climb in beside him.

Feeding each other bites, Keith could smell Lance’s dropping mood. Knowing husband didn’t mean it and that his depression wasn’t under his control, he tried extra hard to make Lance laugh and smile, “accidentally” poking him in the nose with the fork, and stealing bites of egg before Lance could, only to feed them to him. His husband’s appetite ran out halfway through the meal, so Keith cleaned the tray up and carried it back out to the kitchen where he finished off his share and left the rest for Kosmo. By the time he came back, Lance was sleeping again, Kosmo skipping out on food in favour of being curled in Lance’s arms... where Keith should be. Leaving Lance sleeping, the half-Galra was left with little to do other than pulling his father’s remaining clothes out of storage and more quiznakking cleaning.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say double update today? I have so many notes on my phone it’s time for the great shifting them on gmail. I don’t wanna post the Drabble I did for Levi’s birthday here... I mean, I’m all for vamp Klance... but calling them Eren and Levi might be a bit confusing...
> 
> Now I’m rambling... I love you all

Napping was all Lance’s body wanted to do. His mind wanted to finish sorting baby clothes with Keith, but his yawns wouldn’t stop. The last two days had been lazy days. They’d taken Kosmo up to see the cave where the Blue Lion had slept for so long. His busted knee hated every moment of it. Kosmo acting like a Shepard as he herded him away from everything he deemed dangerous with a gentle fanged mouth around his hand. Melancholy tugging on his heart as he stared at the blue markings from the ancient race who’d seen blue land. He’d always thought the Paladin’s of the past as those who’d left the markings for those of the future. Lance thought it’d bring him some kind of peace of mind, yet it only brought his time as a Paladin crashing back. His mind flooded with feelings of isolation and loneliness. Things were better now. He honestly didn’t know how they’d survived what they had. They’d all be so young. So young and so insecure. He’d been so stupid. His stupid flirting and desperate need to be acknowledged... He wanted to die of embarrassment when he thought of himself. No wonder Keith had brushed him off upon his return. Kuron had been right. Kuron had been every time he’d lorded over him. Every time he’d rubbed his incompetence in his face. Every harder than necessary blow during training. Every scoff... He wasn’t as over it as he’d thought. Shiro was Shiro again... And if Shiro had remembered any of what had happened, he’d thankfully kept it to himself. They’d spent a few long moments both reflecting on their Voltron adventures before leaving, Lance knew he wasn’t doing a very good job hiding his struggle from Keith. Keith simply wrapping his arm around his waist, silently being there without pushing for which Lance was extremely grateful.

After returning from visiting Blue’s resting place, Keith had left him alone for a bit. Lance not wanting to shackle him down, accepted he too might need space after what had happened. For his husband, it’d technically been a decade since they hurtled off on their adventure. Keith had matured so much, he was practically a different person. His clinging baby fat had morphed into long lean lines. He no longer carried himself with the air of isolation and loneliness. He was now taller and broader than ever. His body carrying far too many scary scars, yet each scar was proof that he’d survived. His long black hair no longer a mullet, though that name would never get old. The immaturity of youth had been thoroughly scrubbed away as they were all forced to grow up far too fast. Maybe that was why now that they had found some kind of peace, things like “adulting” went out the window. They had the time to the things young lovers did. They had the time to play hooky, to shirk responsibilities and obligations. It may because they were both recovering, but Lance hated the moments they spent apart due to his depression or need for sleep. He hated the hours spent throwing his guts up, when he’d rather be on the move, doing and seeing new things with Keith. With Keith’s father’s clothes to go through, he’d started taking things from the packing boxes slowly and carefully. The residual scents of washing powder and dust hung to the garments, then again, after 19 years or so he shouldn’t have been expecting to find any traces of his father-in-law’s scent. He supposed it was a little creepy to be trying to trace his scent. Lance was simply curious if his husband smelt more of his mother than father.

Lance was still sorting clothes when Keith had walked in with a shit-eating grin on his face. Placing the box he had in his hold on the floor, Keith ruined all Lance’s carefully sorted piles, before dropping them all back into the box they come from. Ignoring his spluttered complaints, Keith took his knife from his belt, cutting through the top tape of the box he’d brought in. Grabbing something out the top, he stuffed it in his pockets, then carried it over and upended it. Smug as hell as Lance took several long moments to realise his husband had brought him maternity clothes. Plain. Simple. Non-frilly. Non-flowery. Maternity clothes. Ugly crying, he couldn’t even thank his husband. He was way too happy, and way too shocked to remember Spanish, let alone English. This is what led to then doing what must have been a dozen washes, of his clothes, and then the baby clothes and blankets. Yeah. He’d gotten completely carried away with all the washing, but the idea of jeans that didn’t cut into his belly was too tempting.

Folding the tiny onesie in his hold, Lance yawned again. Keith taking the onesie from his hold and carefully placing it in the bag with the others. Despite Daehra and Lucteal both knowing of his pregnancy, it still felt a little awkward. He wasn’t coping with the changes his body was going through, and though they meant well, he didn’t look forward to Daehra hovering over him as she knew he would. Plus, Marco didn’t know he was pregnant, so everything was being repacked to be unpacked without his older brother around. The secret of his pregnancy had been spreading, Lance missing the closeness of only he, Keith and Shiro knowing. Medical staff didn’t count. Soon he’d have no choice but to tell Krolia, who’d tell Kolivan. Curtis, because he and Shiro were a package deal. His papi... then his siblings. Each time he thought of how many people were left to judge him, he felt sick to his stomach. Keith was still adjusting to the idea of being a father... He’d need to tell his team... His team that Lance was still to face... Then there was Hunk, Shay and Pidge... He just knew it wasn’t going to go well. He was a medical oddity. A freak of nature  
“Babe, you ok?”  
“Yeah”  
“Tired again?”  
“A bit”

Leaning into Keith, his husband felt warm. Frowning at the unexpected warmth, Lance brought his palm to Keith’s forehead  
“What are you doing?”  
“You’re hot”  
Taking his hand, Keith snorted  
“Thanks. So are you”  
If he hadn’t been concerned, Lance would have rolled his eyes  
“I think you have a fever. Do you feel sick?”  
There was a tick long pause  
“Maybe a little hot...”  
Groaning, Lance sat up, taking the opportunity to stare at his husband. Keith looked sick. He couldn’t pick up anything in his scent, but he’d spent Vargas staring at Keith’s face. He knew when he was in pain. He knew when he was sick  
“You’re sick. Come on, let’s get you to bed and settled”  
Keith growled softly  
“I’m not sick”  
“And I’m not pregnant. You’re sick, buster. Let me check your foot. I bet your infection’s got worse again”  
Sass was his defence. He was scared. He’d missed the symptoms. He should have been paying more attention of Keith’s needs  
“It’s nothing”  
“Keith. If you don’t get up and march your arse to bed right now, I will knock you out and carry you there myself. Why didn’t you tell me you were sick!?”  
“I don’t know... I didn’t notice it until you pointed it out”  
“What kind of excuse is that!? Come on, we’re going to bed”  
Grabbing Keith’s hand, he didn’t care that he was scattering baby clothes as he pulled Keith to his feet  
“Well someone’s eager”  
That one earned the eye roll  
“Yes. I’m eager to make sure you’re not getting sick because we haven’t been monitoring your foot as we should have. I’m so fucking stupid. Of course, it wasn’t healed. It’s not like your neck. No. That healed... you had a whole fucking branch in your foot. Stupid, Lance... stupid. You have one fucking job...”  
“Babe...”  
Keith tried to calm him, Lance ignoring it in favour of limping as fast as he could with Keith in tow.

Peeling off his husband’s sock, Keith’s foot was infected. A small lump having formed under the tiny pinprick sized remaining scab, while red lines ran from the site  
“It’s infected”  
Wriggling his toes, Keith tried to peer down at the bottom of his foot, which was impossible. His foot was in Lance’s hold  
“Are you sure?”  
“Keith. I’m going to hit you. Why didn’t you tell me that it hurt!?”  
“It didn’t? I mean, it felt a little weird this morning...”  
“This morning!”  
Screeching at Keith, it was now afternoon, nearly evening. It’d been that bad for that long?!  
“Dios. Don’t go yelling like that. I’m fine. I’ll take a nap...”  
Who’d taught this el estúpido, Spanish?  
“Why didn’t you tell me? Kosmo, make sure he doesn’t move. Or I’ll castrate both of you”

Retrieving the medkit, the pain pills in the pack seemed to stare at him. His heart starting to race the longer he stared at them. Growling at himself, he shook two pills out the pack, before limping to the kitchen to retrieve a water pack for Keith. Returning to their room, his husband had started sweating, his hands slightly shaky as he took the pills and swallowed them down without protest. Keith must have been feeling like quiznak to be so obliging. Catching his arm as Lance placed down the water pack, Keith smiled at him   
“It’s not that bad. You’re not an idiot. I didn’t notice”  
“I should have... You’re my husband and I didn’t...”  
Shaking his head, he didn’t want to have this conversation. He was stupid. He was. Moving to sit down by the first aid kit, he sighed at himself. He was stupid. Whether Keith admitted it or not  
“I’m going to look at your foot. It might hurt a bit, but hopefully, anything that’s been in there will drain out”  
“Babe. It’s fine. It’s not even that sore”  
“You took both pills without me asking! You wouldn’t do that if it was nothing!”  
“I would when I knew you’d be upset. I was too wrapped up in thinking about our twins in these tiny little clothes to think about much else... babies are small, aren’t they?”  
“Some are. Twins are usually smaller because there’s only so much space they can take up”  
“That’s so weird”  
Lance might be the rambler when he was sleepy, but he was now enjoying listening to Keith’s sleepy rambles. He felt sick to the very bottom of his stomach that he’d missed all the signs  
“Tell me about it. Actually, tell me about it. It’ll keep you distracted”  
“You’re like growing two people in you. What if they’re dickheads? Or like weird food... or Brussel sprouts? What if they can’t pilot? What if they get air-sick?”  
Grabbing what he needed from the first aid kit, Lance slathered the bump with antibiotic cream  
“No child of yours would dare get air-sick”  
“That tickles”  
“Good, because it’s about to get painful. What else have to you discovered about twins?”  
Taking the scalpel, this was probably an awful idea. He nearly forgot to put the gauze underneath Keith’s foot to catch anything that came out.

What came out had him gagging. There was a small sliver of plant matter that finally oozed out once the initial rush of blood and gunk passed. It reeked. Keith needed to be on antibiotics, and he didn’t have any. Five days into their precious holiday, and now they were going to have to leave early. Working out what he could, Keith didn’t take it well. He kept trying to free his foot and hit him in the nose more than once as Lance wrestled with him. For a big bad Blade’s operative, Keith was being a woose  
“Are you done yet?”  
Folding up the dirty gauze he’d been wiping over the wound, Lance sighed at his husband. He knew he was terrible at this sort of thing, but he was sure he was doing better than Keith. His knee still felt as if it was stuffed full of razor blades, yet he’d kept most of his grumblings to himself  
“You’re not going to like this. Either we do a hospital trip over to Garrison city, or we’re heading to the outpost two days early”  
Crossing his arms, Keith looked like an angry toddler as he huffed  
“I’m sure it’s not that bad”  
“It’s literally a piece of bramble from the planet that sent you all crazy. The whole planet was anti-Galra and your human side didn’t help at all. Yes, it is that bad. Now make your mind up. The hospital or Daehra”  
Keith glared at him for a long moment  
“Are you sure I need to go?”  
Unfolding the piece of dirty gauze in his hold, Keith wrinkled his nose. Lance dry heaving as he rushed to scrunch it back up  
“Yeah. It stinks. I don’t know how the fuck they missed it, but I’m not fucking happy. And I’m not letting you off that easy. An infection can easily turn to blood poisoning or sepsis. Do you want to lose your arms and legs? Because sometimes that’s the only way to save someone!”  
“Alright. Ok. We’ll go to the hospital”  
“Thank you. Let me clean this all up, then we’ll go. No poking at it while I’m gone. I want to let it drain a little more before I cover it up”

Kosmo wasn’t keen on being left behind, and Keith wasn’t keen on letting him pilot his ship. Reminding his husband that “idiots who didn’t pay attention to their infections were made to sit in the passenger seats where they were expected to remain quiet”, didn’t sit well with him at all. Keith trying to be covert as he began picking at the tape holding the non-stick wound pad on. Pulling his knife from his boot, Lance threw it at the dash beside Keith’s booted “good foot”, causing his husband to yelp in shock. Given he wasn’t sorry, Lance didn’t apologise. As he piloted the ship to the designated landing area on the outskirts of the city, he played back everything that had happened. All he could think of was in the rocky terrain where Blue’s cave had been, Keith must have irritated and dislodged the fragment. His foot had been getting better. The wound shrinking every day... because he’d made sure to check when he remembered. He’d stopped verbally asking as Keith would get annoyed. Now he was kicking himself.

Catching a hover-taxi to the hospital, Lance nearly forgot his crutches, and his wallet in his rush to get Keith into the hands of someone more professional than he was. He’d cleaned the wound out with a saline wash from the first aid kit. Bits of red looking gunk dribbling out as he did. It took three rinses for him to be happy. Keith, on the other hand, certainly wasn’t happy. Not that Lance was thrilled over their current predicament. He hated hospitals. He hated the smell of the disinfectant. He felt like he was being judged as a junky, despite them having no knowledge of his condition. Talking first with the triage nurse, then with the registrar, they were asked to wait in the relatively empty waiting room. Being Paladins meant they had free healthcare, as did their families. His heart ached over the fact the same couldn’t be said for everyone. It felt like a total dick move to charge people thousands of dollars when everyone had a basic right to all the same services. They hadn’t fought in a galactic war just to line the pockets of the greedy. He’d never tell Keith, yet if he was faced with some of the rich that blamed the poor for being poor, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t shoot them. With Keith feeling so poorly, Lance held his hand tightly, rubbing his cheek against his husband's upper arm in an effort to comfort him. Keith had his fair share of bad memories when it came to hospitals. He’d expected him to opt for Daehra, but Keith wasn’t ready to return to space. The incident having carved a deep and ugly scar inside, where his love couldn’t magically make it all better.

When Keith was called through, Lance explained what had happened as his husband was sulking with the biggest pout he’d ever seen on his lips. Examining the wound, Keith behaved himself as he was prodded at.. before being offered the use of a pod to heal the minor injury. They’d have to head over to the garrison if they took the offer. Selfishly torn, Lance prayed Keith wouldn’t take the offer. He wanted Keith safe, well, and in one piece. He also feared Keith going into a pod and never coming out again. Realising his working himself into a panic attack over the idea of Keith being trapped behind that thin pane of glass forever, he wrapped his arms around himself in a self hug. Breathe in. Hold. Release. Patience yields focus. Breathe in. Hold. Release. As Lance worked his way back out of the sprouting panic attack, Keith accepted the offer of antibiotics instead, as they’d be staying with a medical professional in a few days anyway. 

Recleaning and dressing Keith’s foot, his husband was given crutches to keep him off it. It wasn’t until Keith started getting huffy over accelerated Galra healing that Lance felt he could breathe again. They made a fine pair. Both of them on crutches, both of them wanting to hold the door open for the other. Keith’s pride getting in the way when he limped forward, growling at the slow pace. Both of them quiznakking idiots who couldn’t follow doctors orders. Keith had tried to get him in trouble by mentioning how Lance was still in quite a bit of pain from his sprained knee. Which was ignored. The doctor simply raising an eyebrow, before getting back to explaining how Keith needed to take one tablet three times a day with meals.

*  
With Keith off his feet, Lance was determined to be the perfect husband. The fact that his anxieties wouldn’t give him a moments rest, nor the nausea that left him with a crippling headache as he cooked for them, didn’t stop him. Sleeping off his fever, Lance went on a preparation spree. He cooked up all the food that was left in the shack, making enough meals that they’d be taking some back to the outpost. He swept the wood floors, then ran the mop over them. Cleaned up the baby clothes that he been scattered, tears rolling down his face because of how tiny and precious they all were. Their two tiny miracles... That he still hadn’t decided on where he’d be giving birth. Altea had all his medical records, but his counsellor was on Erathus... Dios knew he could use a long talk with them... He wasn’t recovered from what had happened on the training mission. Keith’s words would echo in his ears. The way they snapped at him would come flooding back without want. He was trying to be ok, because when it was just the two of them, Keith made everything better by being at his side. He felt stronger with him. Not so useless and cowardly... and not quite so out of control. The temptation to swallow down half a dozen painkillers had only been killed by Keith’s need of them. He’d thought his knee would heal faster than it had been. Two movements on crutches and it was still tender, despite icing and elevating it. The Cuban had the suspicion that his sister sitting on his leg had worsened the damage, but he didn’t want to appear a cry baby over a sore knee. Not when Keith was ill. He’d cried pathetically over missing the signs and symptoms as he changed the cold compress across Keith’s forehead. His husband treated him like he was the most precious treasure in existence, yet he’d let him down by not paying enough attention. And... and it scared him. It scared him so badly that Keith could be so sick and he’d missed it. He never asked if he still felt pain from having that bone sample taken from his wrist, or where Lance had accidentally electrocuted him.

Hearing Keith scream his name, Lance flew into a blind panic, bumping into the walls of the shack as he rushed. Thrashing on the bed, Keith was mid-nightmare. Lunging forward, his stupid knee twisted, Lance letting out his own pained cry as he clutched his knee. The brace was off because wearing it was bulky and uncomfortable. Now he regretted it. Holding his knee, he hobbled to the bed before sitting on the edge and taking Keith’s shoulders into his hands  
“Keith. Babe... Babe, you need to wake up for me”  
Keith fought his hold, Lance afraid he was going to have to slap him, when his husband’s eyes suddenly shot open. Disorientated, it took Keith a few moments to meet his eyes. When he did, his husband crumpled. Gathering him up, Lance rubbed his back as he hushed him softly  
“You’re ok, mullet. You’re ok... it was just a dream”  
Nodding, Keith still clung to him tightly  
“Sorry”  
“It’s alright. As long as you’re alright... I’ve got you”  
“I had a nightmare”  
Mumbled into his shoulder, Keith continued to shake  
“I noticed. Do you want to tell me?”  
“It’s stupid”  
Trust his husband to call anything he couldn’t handle “stupid”  
“It’s not stupid. We both have nightmares, babe. We can’t help it...”  
“But it is...”  
“Were you chased by giant ducks?”  
Keith snorted wetly, Lance nuzzling his hair  
“No. No. Allura came back and she and Lotor killed you... I couldn’t stop them. They cut... they... she...”  
“Ok. Ok. Deep breaths for me. I’m here”

Knowing it was Allura hurt. She’d done this to his body in the first place, and he’d been blissfully free of her hauntings for a small while now. He made an educated guess that they’d done something about the twins in his nightmare, by the way, Keith shook harder when he got to “they cut...”  
“It was awful”  
“I know, babe. But she’s gone. They’re both gone. And we’re all safe... We’re all safe... I’m safe”  
“I can’t lose you... or the twins... I can’t be left behind again”  
“Shhhh... I’m not leaving. You’re my husband... two halves of the same idiot”  
“I’m sorry. I can’t believe I’m crying over a stupid dream”  
“Babe, it’s not the first time and I know it sucks, but I’m here. Being home must have brought back up so much for you... but I’m ok. Your babies are ok... we’re ok”  
“It felt...”  
“It felt way too real?”

Keith nodded. Lance knew exactly what he meant. He’d seen Keith killed in front of him more than he liked to admit, or think about  
“Here, lay back down so I can hold you properly. You can rub the belly as much as you want”  
Sniffling, Keith leaned back. His husband’s eyes red-rimmed and face a total mess. Smiling softly, Lance leaned in to kiss him, wishing he could kiss the pain away  
“Sorry...”  
“Don’t even think about apologising again. You’re my husband, Keith. The father of our twins. And one hell of a bad arse with his share of scars. We’ve been through some really, really scary things, but we’re safe here in the shack. Just the two... three... five of us...?”  
Yeah. 5. Them. Their fur son and their twins. 5... His drawn-out math drawing a smile from Keith, Keith returning the kiss with a soft nuzzle  
“Our family’s getting bigger”  
“Yep. I think I’ve popped further... but I’d have to check the photos...”  
“You’ve been taking photos?”  
“I know I’ve gotten bigger since we got here... I took some... I... wanted to want this too, but it’s hard seeing my body growing bigger”  
Nuzzling harder, Keith’s kiss was more ”sexual” than ”comforting”. Keith’s wrists moving to rub at his neck  
“You’re beautiful. You’re so fucking beautiful...”  
“And you’re a mess. Now lay down so you can have cuddles”

It took a good hour of pampering attention on Lance’s stomach for Keith to settle. Lance was barely conscious, the feel of Keith’s slightly rough fingertips lulling him like the world’s sweetest lullaby into a feeling of safety and security that his anxieties hadn’t allowed. Growing babies took so much out of him. He’d found a new respect for every working pregnant woman. His body wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep. His bladder wanted freedom. Keith needed him awake. Keith was more important to him than his own rest and needs. His husband wasn’t able to “lay still”, he wouldn’t stop rubbing at the taunt skin as he kissed and nuzzled the swell... after forcing Lance to pull his shirt off so he could double-check that Lance hadn’t been gutted for their twins. Crawling back up to rest with his head on Lance’s arm, Keith snuggled into his chest  
“Feeling better?”  
“Yeah. I’ve calmed down... My instincts got the better of me. That dream... I could feel your blood on my hands as I tried to keep your organs from falling out. Lotor, he was holding our twins. Allura...”  
“They’re gone. Allura and Lotor are gone. You don’t need to keep thinking about it”  
“I know”  
“Then you’ll be ok with taking a nap? I’m pretty beat”  
“I don’t think I can. Not yet”  
“Then do that creepy thing you do when you watch me sleep”  
“It’s not creepy. It’s the only time you’re quiet”  
Keith was joking. He was joking and he knew it... Yet it stung  
“My bad. I’ve cleaned through the shack and did the meal prep. It just needs to be popped in the microwave when you get hungry. You can go ahead and eat when you feel like it, but don’t forget to take your meds when you do, and don’t forget you need to use your crutches”  
Keith picked up on his hurt. His husband frowning  
“Did I say something wrong?”  
Forcing a smile for Keith’s sake, Lance squashed his pain down  
“Nah. I’m just tired from growing your babies. Nothing that a nap won’t fix”  
“Alright... you were yawning constantly”  
“Because it’s hard work... I feel like I could sleep for a year”  
“Then you should have come to bed. You’re supposed to stay off your knee”  
“I didn’t want to disturb you. You had a long day”  
“That’s no excuse. You’re not supposed to be doing the housework in my shack. You’re my husband”  
“And you’re my husband. Is it so crazy that I might want to be there for you too”  
“But it’s my job to take care of you...”

Job... It was a job to take care of him... No. He wasn’t going to cry. Keith was right. He was a job. A whole lot of hard work that his husband didn’t need.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh looooook... another chapter for today. You would have thought Lance would be at least 6 months gone by now... I don’t mean to write so much

Researching “twin baby bump 13 weeks large” was what it took for Lance to accept that was ok for his stomach to be so big. He couldn’t fit his own shirts anymore. Keith’s were tight, with half his belly poking out the bottom. He looked more 15 or even 16 weeks along, then again, no two bumps were the same and it appeared he was pushing the larger size of 13 weeks. His feet were completely lost under his stomach, so was his groin when he started down. It was all stretch-marked belly. Dressing in the larger jackets that belonged to Keith’s father didn’t particularly flatter his figure, nor did it hide that something was obvious up with his stomach. He couldn’t close most of them. He was ashamed of himself. He’d lashed out and broken the mirror in the bathroom. He had to tell his papi. He had to tell him because his clothes didn’t hide the belly and they were due to pick up Marco that afternoon. He’d already loaded the ship with their packing, with the help of Kosmo, and naturally, while Keith was sleeping. Keith and his crutches weren’t talking. His husband insisting he had no need for them, and that there wasn’t enough space in the shack for crutches. Lance was certain he’d proved that wrong, yet pushing Keith only led to Keith’s anger flaring up. His husband had stormed out the shack and hurled them out into the desert. When Lance had fetched them back, Keith had thrown them out again and told him to mind his own business. Lance had slept on the sofa, feigning it was for the sake of his knee. Yet, when Keith came creeping into the living room, he couldn’t deny the simmering arousal in his blood, his husband thoroughly drilling him on the sofa. It was hard, fast and dirty. Everything his libido needed... and everything he’d needed to get a solid 5 hours sleep. Then he was up and packing, Keith having returned to the bedroom while he’d slept. If he asked his husband, Keith would have said he didn’t wish to disturb him... Lance’s anxieties interpreting differently. His head wouldn’t have been so messed up if Keith had questioned his sleeping on the sofa. But no. His normally octopussy husband merely nodded. He didn’t offer to find him a blanket, or maybe sure he had the ice pack for his knee before he tried to go to sleep. Lance knew he’d been in a mood for days. He knew and he’d tried his fucking hardest not to be... He also knew he couldn’t have Keith walking into a full house when they reached Cuba. The slightest thing could lead to him snapping.

Calling his Mami, his mother wanted to fuss but stopped when she noticed the look on his face. He loved her so much. He loved her and he was fucking scared that telling his papi would ruin their marriage. Bursting into tears, he hated crying, yet it’d all been bottled up for too long again as he tried to cope with Keith’s moods. Sitting beside his father, his mother softly explained the situation. Lance couldn’t. He choked on the words, then clamped a hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t throw up. In soft and rapid Spanish, his papi questioned his mother. The colour had drained from his face. Lance swaying in his seat, He’d known it. He’d known he would be disgusted. It wasn’t normal and it wasn’t right. Lance had no idea he was saying as much out loud. Though muffled by his hand, he forgot the urge to vomit as he moved his hand to wipe his face, apologising profusely to his father and begging him not to hate him. He loved his papi. He loved the way he took things in his stride. His papi always moved on. If he didn’t understand, he didn’t spend hours fixating on the issue. He was happy with his lot in like and the knowledge that came with it. He held no desires to fly through space, even on vacation. Cuba was his home and that was the source of his pride. That and his four other children that hadn’t failed him as Lance had. His papi never said as much. He hadn’t said much over his drinking or pill-popping, but this... he’d hurt him. He knew he’d hurt him. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t spend another second looking at his father's face, waiting to be addressed by the man. So, he cut the call. His comms going flying across the room as his right hand moved to deeply scratch up his left arm with his short nails. The skin beneath pealed with ease. Blood rushing to well in the dips his nails made. In the next second his anger had passed. The unhealthy grounding technique something he should have grown out of by now. It was the same compulsion he felt over the sounds of people eating, and the same compulsion he’d fell into when he’d died and come back wrong. He wanted to hurt. He was the who deserved the pain. From across the room, his comms started to ring again. It’d be Mami. He couldn’t face her. He couldn’t face her and he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to go back to Cuba. He wanted to run. He wanted to spend some true alone time to calm himself because frankly he was exhausted from stinking up the shack with his scent, then having to find whatever sprays he could to lessen the scent so it wouldn’t set Keith’s anxieties and instincts off... yet if he left the shack and Keith found out, he’d flip... He’d be mad for making him worry. Especially when Keith knew how fatigued he’d be... No... no... he was going to have to nap on the sofa and be content with that.

*  
Limping into the living area, Keith sighed softly at the sight of Lance buried in the mountain of blankets on the sofa. His husband had said it was better for his knee, and Keith had let him have the lie. He wished he hadn’t. The bed was far too big without Lance’s warm body snuggled into his, but something seemed to have happened the day he been forced to hospital that left his husband... fearful? was that the right word? Of him. Yes, Keith was agitated and embarrassed over his stupid foot being infected. And he may have been a little douchy over his crutches, but he didn’t know what he’d done wrong otherwise. Normally Lance found comfort in his presence. His husband would seek out the comfort of hiding his face against his neck when everything was too much, but more than once he’d pasted on a pained smile and brushed him off. Last night he’d climbed onto the sofa and hoped to kiss away Lance’s pain, only, when the moment passed and they entangled in each other, Lance had started crying in his sleep, begging not to be touched in Spanish. His heart was racing, his breathing uneven, until Keith eased off.

Sitting on the edge of the coffee table, Keith watched Lance sleep. His husband had been crying again. Lance thought he was clever bringing out the cleaning sprays, but all the did was irritate Keith’s nose, and upset that Lance wouldn’t confide in him over what was wrong. If it was his now very prominent stomach, that wasn’t something he could help with, but he could reassure him that he was loved for him and every part of him, not simply his beautiful body...

Across the room came a chiming. Their comms were both supposed to be off. Everyone important knew they needed this time alone, so it didn’t make sense to him that Lance’s comms would be on. The clock on the wall read it was pushing on for 12 pm, they weren’t due in Cuba until much later. Given how nervous Lance was, he expected that his husband would be calling Miriam only minutes before they landed. Pushing himself up off the table, Keith cringed as he placed his whole weight down on his busted foot. He’d been given the all-clear on Daibazaal. The fact that there had still been debris in there was ridiculous to him. Being the idiot he was, he was also using the same boots he’d worn on the mission. It hadn’t occurred to him that debris may still be trapped in the soul of his boot after they’d been cleaned thoroughly. Cursing, he limp-strode over to grab the ringing comms up. Miriam’s name pulsing on the electronic screen.

Thumbing across to accept the video call, Keith would have been lying if he didn’t admit he felt sick over taking it. Lance was sleeping just a few feet away  
“Oh, Keith! Oh thank goodness, I’ve been trying to get through for over an hour now”  
“Hi, Mami. Is something wrong?”  
“I’m the one who should be asking you. Lance called us earlier, quite hysterical. The silly boy has convinced himself that his father is disgusted over his pregnancy”  
Keith frowned... So Jorge knew now? Why hadn’t Lance waited so they could tell him together? There was simply no way to disguise Lance’s pregnancy any more, but he thought they’d at least be telling people together... It stung that Lance hadn’t trusted him to be by him for support  
“That doesn’t sound like Jorge at all...”  
“You have no idea how relieving it is to hear you say that. You know this pregnancy has come as a shock to both of us. More so Jorge... though I wouldn’t be lying if I said I didn’t believe it until the ultrasound. He cut the call quite abruptly and refused to pick up. Is he there? Jorge has been quite upset over the things Lance said. He wanted to tell him before he saw him... He was certain that his father would hate him for not being his son anymore”  
Oh. Oh...  
“He’s sleeping at the moment. He’s... he hasn’t had a good past few days. He’s shutting me out and insisting on pushing himself too far without listening”  
“I had been wondering if you were still there. He said he’d packed the ship already, which we both know he shouldn’t be doing, not with that knee of his. Then again, he was so distraught he most probably wasn’t sure what he was saying. He said you were angry with him? We both know how he gets, so I wouldn’t put much stock in it. But it is hard being pregnant. I was quite lucky, but poor Lisa had a hard time. Her morning sickness lasted the entirety of his pregnancy with Sylvio. Lance is 13 weeks, isn’t he?”  
“Yeah. I did the maths for him the other day. He’s gotten to the stage where it’s noticeable and he’s not taking it well”  
“Silly boy always was obsessed with looking his best. The number of hours he spent dancing... Does he have clothes? I think I may have some things Lisa has left here...”  
Which were probably florally and flowy  
“He’s got plenty of clothes now... we even picked up a few things for the twins”  
“Ah! So you’ve made a decision where you intend to raise them?”  
“Mostly. Lance wants to raise them at the outpost so we can have some quality bonding time with them, and he can recover before the wedding”  
“He’s going to be sore for some time, even with a caesarean, and caesareans do carry risks of their own”  
“Krolia gave me way too much of the talk...”  
Miriam laughed heartily  
“Don’t tell Lance, but she already knows. Though I expect that you’ve talked with her about it”

Hold on. What? Since when did his mother know? Had Lance told her? Krolia was his mother... So... just because Lance was the one carrying, he didn’t get the chance to tell anyone? How was that fair?  
“From your expression, I see now neither of you had told her. It’s strange, she knew when she came looking for you after you dropped by to visit Lance. Perhaps given Lance condition when you returned, she was notified? I was by his side the whole time, and other to explain that Allura had changed his body, he didn’t particularly wish to talk about it. Still, if Krolia hasn’t said anything, she must be waiting for you to tell her in your own time. Ignore your rambling Mami, mijo. We tend to get overly excited when it comes to our grandchildren”  
Lance hadn’t told her... Then what? The change in his scent? Why wouldn’t his mother have told him that she knew? Maybe she thought Lance didn’t know? Still, he needed a firm answer  
“So he didn’t tell her?”  
“No. I don’t believe so. He didn’t have the chance. She was busy by your side and he was left quite alone. I know on Altea they were concerned over the effect of the toxin on the twins. Lance didn’t exactly make things easy. He refused all his pain medication, getting quite aggressive over it really. I know he blames himself deeply over what happened, but he also nearly lost the twins... yet, he was more concerned over Krolia throwing him off Daibazaal for getting you hurt. Dear me, I’m still prattling on. He’ll be mad if he knew how much I’ve said. But you understand, don’t you? I fear he wouldn’t say any of this, and you’d be left confused. He’s a stubborn mule, my son, but we do love him. And we do love you. I’m going to talk to Jorge, he’s not mad at you, so there’s no need to fear coming this afternoon. We’ll see you then”

Miriam ended the call not letting him say anything else to his mother-in-law. He’d known all of that, except for Krolia knowing and Lance nearly losing the twins. He hadn’t said that. Then again, he’d been so deep in his depression that it was entirely possible that his mind hadn’t been able to process it and blanked it out. Coran would be good to ask, but that risked Lance overhearing and taking it all the wrong way... He’d already upset his husband without meaning too. Lance had probably thought it all his fault and was attempting to spare him any fury on Jorge’s behalf. But they were a team. They were supposed to face these kinds of things together. That’s what he wanted. That’s what he’d sworn in his vows. An equal partnership. Two halves the same idiot... And he’d certainly been acting like an idiot for Lance to be so sure he was mad at him. Then again, he’d definitely been an idiot to think that a week relaxing alone would heal the trauma of their mission. Sex the previous night had probably made things a hundred times worse without him knowing. He’d really fucked up.

Looking for things he could do to help Lance or to try and show that he was trying, he found there wasn’t much of anything left to do around the shack. Lance had packed their things, and given the house a quick clean through. He couldn’t make his husband anything to eat, as Lance had taken it upon himself to do everything. All he wanted to do was make his husband smile. So why was he doing everything wrong? Padding up to him, Kosmo head-butted his leg. Their fur son hadn’t been happy that Lance was sleeping somewhere he couldn’t curl up with him. Scratching the top of Kosmo’s head, Keith squatted down to talk to him  
“I’ve fucked things up, haven’t I? All I want to do is take care of him, but instead, I’ve been an arsehole to him. Maybe I should do a run into town? Pick him up some flowers? Do you think he’d like that? Maybe some chocolates?”  
Kosmo licked at his face, his whole body wagging as his tail went a million miles a minute  
“Alright. Alright. You stay here and protect him. I’ll be here soon... Better grab those quiznakking crutches or I’ll make him cry again... it’s not like I really need them though... they’re more trouble than they’re worth...”  
Looking down and realising he wasn’t dressed for town, Keith sighed  
“... better get changed too”

Keith was a mess as he held his patience. Since when were flowers so quiznakking expensive? And since when were there so many types? Red Roses were the ones that were supposed to be romantic, so why was he adding something called “Baby’s Breath”? And why did the woman serving him want to know who they were for? Couldn’t a man simply go around buying flowers without the third degree? And what kind of person just asks if “someone's in the dog house”? It should be a simple transaction. He goes into the florist, he gets the roses, he pays, he leaves, and he doesn’t think of them again. He wasn’t meant to be questioned nonstop and forced into small talk to awkward he might as well have been talking to Zarkon. Wandering away from the florist annoyed, he found himself drifting into a jewellery store, not intentionally. His mind was still trying to put Lance at the forefront, despite his anger. Lance liked shiny things, so his feet had led him inside before his mind caught up. Figuring he was already in the store, that he might as well have a look around for something suitable for his husband, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do now. He and Lance had their “wedding rings”. They weren’t exactly rings, but they meant the world to Lance... maybe a new chain for them would be good? Turning around, he found himself face to face with a store attendant. He got that it was their job. He got that he probably looked confused as hell, but he wasn’t ready for another conversation so soon. Blurting out “necklace”, the man raised an eyebrow, causing Keith’s cheeks to feel warm. He was nearly 27. He should be able to articulate a sentence or two by now. Clearing his throat, his voice was still an octave too high as he asked to see necklace chains.

If the florist had been bad, the jewellery store had been worst. Pulling his dented “wedding ring” from his ponytail, the man looked at it as if touching the item would give him the plague. Sure, it was a little grimy, and a lot busted up, but it was clearly still a solid gold hair clip of alien nature. Thankfully, maybe for the first time since their return to Earth, he was recognised as the former Black Paladin, the unhelpful man ushered along by his much nicer boss, though if not mouthier. Taking the hair clip off to be cleaned, Keith soon wore an expression as if he was constipated, wanting to choose wisely. Lance would most probably find all of the yellow gold chains in front of him beautiful, yet none were as beautiful as his husband. Then there was also the issue of would a thinner chain be better or a larger. He wasn’t sure if Lance had been collared around the neck, so didn’t want to pick a thick chain that might remind him of it. Choosing a chain the first time around had been so much easier... and maybe because it’d been easier, that meant choosing a new chain was the wrong idea? But what else could he gift him? Moving from necklaces to bracelets, he found charm bracelets. Lance most probably wouldn’t wear one, but they were so cheesy that his husband would melt...

Half a varga later, Keith was walking out with a new chain for Lance’s wedding ring, that matched the chain he was now on around his neck. He’d been warned he was more likely to lose it should he continue wearing it as a hair clip with the spring damaged. At that point, he would have pretty much agreed to any sales pitch if it meant getting out of there. He wasn’t good at this “gift” thing. Practical he could do. Clothes. Blankets. Food. Weapons. Romantic, he could not. They’d recommended having the hair clip repaired, but Keith wasn’t prepared to leave it behind. He didn’t know when he’d be swinging back by Earth again, nor did he trust Pidge not to lose it if he asked her to collect it. And, once again, it was something that Lance would misinterpret thanks to his anxieties. He hated those anxieties. He hated that Lance no longer believed in himself. That he was falling back into his old fear of how everyone around them perceived him. His foot wasn’t supposed to be a mess. It’d ruined his plans to take Lance for a fly simply because they could. He’d been thinking maybe the beach, or some corner of the planet where no one else was for miles around, yet Lance preferred the solitude of the shack, so Keith hadn’t mentioned it. With how things had played it, it was for the best, he couldn’t disappoint Lance by not keeping promises if he didn’t make them, to begin with.

*  
Keith didn’t remember that Lance had wanted to go food shopping for the outpost until he was halfway back to the shack. Maybe if he’d actually used his brain, and talked to his damn husband, then he wouldn’t have been so lost when it came to shopping. Piloting his ship a few metres above the reddy-brown desert, he permitted himself the small pleasure of bobbing and weaving as he followed the contours of the Earth. Lance would have called him a child. A child who was having fun, the stupid piloting lifting his mood as he neared the shack.

The lifted mood that fell before he even landed.

Landing his ship, Keith was out and running. His foot forgotten, as were his crutches which he’d left in the storage bag the whole trip. “Walking” barefoot through the desert, Lance was a good fifty metres away from the shack. His hand in Kosmo’s mouth as he swayed and staggered. Catching up to his husband, Kosmo released his hand, his eyes wide as if confused and scared. Lance’s eyes were open, yet blank, and wave of his hand in front of his husband went completely unnoticed. Wrapping his arm around his husband, Keith turned Lance back towards the shack, Lance’s knee dipping and his husband going limp unexpectedly. Yipping and teleporting around them, before pawing at Lance’s leg, Kosmo was worrying for his father. Placing his hand on his wolf’s head, Kosmo stopped pawing as he looked up at him  
“Kosmo, home”

Laying Lance back down on the sofa, his husband didn’t stir. His eyes now closed, and not creepily seeing nothing. Lance didn’t look well. His lips were chapped and deep bags hung under his eyes. He knew his husband was in constant pain from his knee, but he didn’t bitch and whine about it... not as he had with his foot. Why was he so bad at this? Lance was the love of his life. Leaning in to kiss his husband, Lance woke like some kind of Cinderella, or was it Sleeping Beauty? His eyes wide with surprise  
“Keith?”  
“In the flesh”  
Brushing Lance’s hair back he tucked a few stray ends behind his husband’s ear  
“What time is it?”  
“I don’t know. How do you feel? You were... pretty active in your sleep”  
“I’m ok... no idea what I was dreaming about. I’m sorry if I woke you”  
“Stop doing that”  
Lance flinched, Keith supposing he could have worded that better  
“I’m sorry”  
“Stop being sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong”

Getting teary, Lance smiled at him as he reached up to wrap his arms around him  
“Shhh. Hey, what’s wrong?”  
“I’ve been an arsehole to you and I didn’t mean to be. I didn’t even realise...”  
“You’re not an...”  
“I am. I am. I talked to Mami, Lance”  
Lance stiffened, his gaze moving from Keith’s face  
“She said you called. To tell papi about your pregnancy... You shouldn’t have had to do this alone. And I made you feel like you had to”  
“You’ve been recovering”  
“I’m not the only one. I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you. You’re not to blame for this. Whoever said my foot was fine is. You have done nothing wrong. And I’m sorry I was such an angry bastard. All I want to do is take care of you. It’s my job as your husband”  
Lance perked up for a moment before deflating again. Closing his eyes, he laid back down, trying to turn away from him  
“Babe?”  
“It’s ok”  
“It’s not ok. I said something wrong again. It’s what upset you before, isn’t it?”  
“It’s ok, Keith. I’m tired. That’s all”  
“Babe. I know you think not telling me is better, but when you don’t tell me I keep making mistakes and hurting you. I want you to be able to talk to me”  
“It’s nothing”  
“It’s not nothing if it’s upsetting you”  
Half rolling back, Lance mumbled  
“I don’t want to be your job. I don’t want to be anyone’s job”  
“Oh, babe... No. Not like that. You’re not a job, like that”  
“I know I’m hard work... but when you say I’m... it’s your job. Then I say that I want to take care of you, you get cranky. I want to be idiot husband’s together”  
“That’s what I want too. But I also want you to rest. I know your knees bothering you, and that you got used to being invincible, but it’s ok to rest. You’re allowed to laze around the shack with me”  
“Your foot...”  
“Is no reason for being a dick to you. And I’m sorry I didn’t realise you didn’t want to have sex. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me”  
“It’s not that... I mean... I’m kind of horny all the time... and I know if I said something you’d stop. I’m not coping, and papi thinks I’m disgusting”  
“I promise you he doesn’t. Mami called to say that he wasn’t. He was in shock, and he’s upset that you think he is. I should probably tell you that Krolia knows. I didn’t tell her, Mami gave me the heads up”  
“I didn’t tell her...”  
“Mami said as much. She said it might have been in your medical chart. Krolia hasn’t mentioned it to me”  
“We were supposed to tell her together. I wanted you to have that, and because of me it was taken away”  
“It wasn’t taken away from me. We haven’t told her formally. And we can still tell her, together. Is telling people what upset you earlier? Is that why you called Mami and Jorge?”  
“I can’t hide it anymore and now we have no choice but to admit that we’ve been lying to everyone. I feel like it’s another thing they’re going to make a big deal out of. Men aren’t supposed to be pregnant. I’m so quiznakking big now... I wanted to be able to tell everyone when the time was right for us. I wanted to do that with you”  
“If anyone has a problem with it, then they’re not worth our time. As long as you’re happy and healthy, that’s all I care about. We’re the ones who are married. You’re not a job”  
“They’re going to talk about us. About you. About the kind of person who’d date a thing like me”  
“You are not a thing. You’re my husband. My husband that I love. I want you to tell me things without having to worry about what I think. I don’t want you working yourself to the point of exhaustion like this”  
“I wanted to make things as easy as possible for you. I know your foot...”  
“Is nowhere near as bad as your knee. Is your brace on?”  
“It was rubbing. It’s on the ship with the shopping”  
“You’re going to need to put it on if we’re going food shopping before picking up Marco”

Lance blinked several times, his long eyelashes were wet together from his tears  
“I can’t go into public looking like this”  
“Why not?”  
“Because people will stare”  
“And I’ll stab them if they do. You have absolutely every right to live your life”  
“I’m fat...”  
“You’re not fat”  
“But it’s weird!”  
“Babe, it’s not weird. If you’re so afraid, then lean over while pushing the trolley. I’ll grab whatever we need”  
“We can’t... Your...”  
Silencing Lance with a kiss, Keith wished he’d get it already. Yes. His foot was annoying, but take a hundred days of being annoyed if it made Lance happy  
“Then I’ll lean on a trolley too. We can have a limped trolley race. You said you needed to do shopping for the outpost. We don’t have to go to town near the garrison. We can go anywhere in the world you want. Just stop leaving me behind you”  
“I don’t mean to... I just want to add to your stress”  
“You not talking to me is what makes me stressed”  
“You haven’t been very nice to talk to lately”  
The verbal jab hit its bullseye. As deserved as it was, it stung like quiznak  
“I’m sorry. Can I get you anything? I know it’s already past lunch”  
“I’m not hungry. Have you eaten? You need to have your medication when you eat”  
Keith scowled. Lance needed to be eating. No wonder he looked so sickly. Kissing his husband again, Lance sighed into the kiss. As his husband, Keith was sure he was entitled to be annoying with his worry  
“Stop worrying about me. I’m worrying about you”  
“I don’t have much of an appetite. I’m kinda sleepy”  
“If you’re that sleepy, we should go head off now. We can do shopping, pick Marco up, then crash once we get to the outpost?”  
Lance tensed. His husband being stubborn again  
“I don’t know what to say to papi...”  
“I’m sure when you see him, you’ll much better. You’ll see that you got it wrong. Mami tried calling you a few times so you could speak to him. I’ll be with you”  
“I feel like seeing it is only going to make him feel worse”  
“Then it’s his loss because I think this is all pretty amazing. You’re pretty amazing. We’ll play it by ear, and if it gets too much, we’ll grab Marco and leave. It was hard for Mami at first, but she’s excited for us. I’m sure he will be too”  
“I’ve let him down so many times”  
“He’s proud of you, babe. I’m proud of you. How about you take a shower while I heat us some lunch? You probably feel so crappy because you’re hungry”  
“Maybe... I really want to go back to sleep again. I’m sorry. I’m just so tired...”  
“I know. A few more hours and you’ll be able to sleep all you like”

Lance wasn’t wrong about being tired. He’d fallen back to sleep while Keith raided the fridge for something simple. Then he was more asleep than awake as he tried to sit up for lunch. His husband clumsy as he tried to heat the garlic, cheese and ham pinwheels Lance had baked sometime over the last few days. Keith didn’t remember seeing them in the fridge before. The Cuban’s beautiful blue eyes continually drooping, and every few seconds he’d jolt upright before slumping again. Moving from where he’d been sitting on the coffee table holding the plate, Keith sat beside his husband, tearing the bread apart and slowly feeding it to him. Lance unfortunately not able to keep it down. Both of them were surprised when Lance threw up down his front. His exhausted husband whimpering as he tried to move his hands to “clean” the mess, before giving up with a frustrated huff. Unsurprisingly, Keith’s appetite went out of the window.

*  
Lance fell asleep on the way to the public warehouse, he tried his hardest to rouse and get it together once there. Keith had found a cash and carry food wholesaler, figuring it’d be easier than trying to guide two overflowing trolleys around a supermarket when Lance wasn’t fit to drive. Too sleepy to be confused, Keith sat his husband in the corner of the reception like area. Signage stated that all visitors needed to check-in, and a bag search would be conducted upon leaving. This wasn’t exactly a scene he was used to, but it felt more “space mall” to him than a supermarket did, and that managed to settle his nerves more than he’d expected. Behind the counter was an alien of a species he didn’t recognise... Thanks to Pidge’s education, the first thing that came to mind was “furry”. She looked like a Fennec fox, her smile as wide as her claws long  
“First time here?”  
Keith gave a nervous laugh. Her voice was so much deeper than what he’d expected... maybe she wasn’t a she?  
“That obvious?”  
“A tad. I need to see some sign of valid ID, then you’ll need to sign in here”  
A paper sign-in sheet seemed a little dated. Fumbling his wallet, he pulled out his Garrison ID. The fox simply raised its brow at him, seemingly not impressed by his Paladin status. Jotting down his ID number, they sled the paper back to him  
“Name. Affiliation. Date. Time”  
“Affiliation?”  
“Public or Private Consumer. If private, your business name”  
“Ah...”  
Did Lance’s outpost have a name? He was sure it had to... Lance would have talked his ear off about it if there was... Starting to fill in the form, the name “cantina” seemed familiar, so he went with that “La Cantina”. It didn’t matter. They’d track him down if something was wrong. Sliding the form back, the fox smiled again  
“Awesome. Alright then. Now, this tablet has our full range. You go through the list, select what you want in your order. Then when you go through, the tablet will guide you to your selection. Or, for an additional charge, one of our workers will fill your order for you. It may take a little longer. We have four orders being filled at the moment”  
Keith looked over his shoulder to where Lance was now sleeping in the corner he’d left him in  
“We’ve just come back from a long mission and picking up supplies before leaving again. We don’t mind waiting”  
“Very well. When you’ve made your selection bring the holopad back up to me, and we’ll calculate costs”  
“Thank you very much”

Sitting in the seat next to Lance, Keith roused his husband. Lance blinking at him before yawning widely  
“Where are we?”  
“Public goods warehouse. I need to know what you need at the outpost”  
Groaning and shaking his hands, Lance then nodded at him  
“You better hold it. I’ll just poke at things. And take my comms to pay. It’s for work so it goes on the business account. Don’t wanna piss off the intergalactic tax collectors”  
Lance’s outpost was shady as hell. Keith doubted anyone would pick a fight with his husband over how he ran his business. Tapping on the holopad screen, Keith was forced to enter a name for their order... Wanting to make Lance laugh, he entered “A couple of idiots”. The next screen seemed to be basic statistical data that took a few minutes to finish, before finally getting into the product list. Switching the view from categories to alphabetical order, the top title of (displaying 1 to 10,000 items) was somewhat daunting. The place didn’t look big enough to house that many things, yet... apparently it did. Holding the holopad, Lance did the hard work of selecting the things he wanted out there. Keith felt he was over shopping until Lance mumbled something about Th’al wanting a few things too.

Spending over an hour perfecting his order, Keith noticed the way Lance took into account his team’s preferences. Medical and herbal supplies for Daehra. Lamb meat products because Lucteal preferred that to beef. Boxes of tech parts that Keith wasn’t sure over, yet Lance knew Zak would like. Spice, herbs, and kitchen knives for Tobias to support his culinary dreams. Boxes of chocolates, body washes and scrubs for the housemaid staff. New bedding, blankets and toiletries so Marco wouldn’t feel so out of place with familiar objects around him. Extra treats and marrow bones for Kosmo. Keith was sure he heard Krolia, Curtis, and Shiro both mentioned in Lance’s ramblings. No one would fault his husband for thinking of himself, or being too tired to think at all, yet Lance had so much love for everyone he couldn’t help but think of them. It was a shame that Lance’s circle of trust no longer included Hunk and Pidge, yet someday it might again... He’d made leaps and bounds from where he’d been.

Letting Lance doze, Keith took the holopad and his husband’s work comms up to the counter. The fox smiling at him as he passed over their order  
“Big order”  
“Yep”  
Tapping on the screen, behind her a printer whirled into life. A long thin list emerging as their order was printed. Waiting a solid 3 three minutes, the print out was at least as long as Keith was tall. Folding the paper over she placed it down in front of him, circling the balance. No wonder she was grinning. At over 200,00 GAC, Lance had definitely over-shopped. Plus that was discounted being a warehouse and all  
“Excellent. Now, GAC, USD, or funds transfer?”  
“Funds transfer”  
“GAC or USD?”  
“GAC”  
Holding Lance’s comms near the payment device, it lit up green as the transfer went through. Despite trying to keep a neutral expression, the foxes eyes lit up as they shifted their weight  
“Now. It’ll take about an hour and a half to fill an order this big. Two orders have been cleared... soooo that means... yep we have three free staff. Would you like to wait here, or onboard your ship?”  
“On the ship”  
On his ship, Lance would be able to sleep properly. His husband wouldn’t have to worry about disturbing everyone if he had a nightmare there, and Kosmo would keep a close eye on him  
“Excellent. We’ll bring out the hover trolleys when they’re loaded”

Waking Lance back up, his husband reached for him adorably. With both sets of crutches still onboard the ship, his husband was leaning heavily against him as he guided Lance from the warehouse. With how sleepy he was, he hadn’t been cruel enough to make Lance walk all the way up to the cockpit where his presents still awaited him. Sitting him down against the back wall of the loading dock, Kosmo was there in an instant to lick at Lance’s face and yip with happiness over being back with his favourite human. Swatting and laughing, Lance wrapped his arms around Kosmo. His happiness so pure that Keith felt a prang of jealousy, until Kosmo suddenly teleported, wolf-napping his husband as he did.

Forced to track down Lance and Kosmo, the sight awaiting him was adorable. Lance was throwing up, so that part of things wasn’t adorable, but Kosmo was trying to support him the best he could. Sitting back on his hind legs, Kosmo had his front paws on the toilet, mimicking Lance as he stared down into the toilet bowl. Knowing it was slightly a dick move, Keith opened the camera on his comms and snapped a photo of the pair of them. One day Lance would look back on it and laugh. Today, however, he sent it through to Shiro. He’d held off calling his brother to brag about Lance’s baby bump. Yet with how Lance was kneeling the soft curve was very much visible. They’d be seeing his adoptive brother in a little over a movement, or rather a movement and a half once the time dilation of the outpost was taken into account. Leaning over to lick Lance’s forehead, Lance mumbled out a scold, calling Kosmo a “quiznakking menace” affectionately. Swapping to camera, Keith stepped into the space  
“Hey, babe. I saw Kosmo kidnap you again”  
“He’s a menace. Aren’t you. A big blue menace. We’ve had this talk, no teleportation for me”  
Babying Kosmo, Kosmo dramatically flopped against the floor, rolling on his back for belly for pats  
“Look at this dramatic arsehole. He doesn’t care that teleporting makes me sick. He just wants cuddles”  
When said cuddles failed to be delivered, Kosmo wriggled up so nudge at Lance’s leg with his nose. Kneeling had to be killing Lance’s knee, but Lance didn’t seem to care as he gave a huff of his own and lowered himself down to lay cross the space between Kosmo’s chest and throat. Kosmo gave an indignant yip, wriggling and escaping from under Lance, only to pounce at him. Pinning him down and licking Lance’s hands as he fought him off  
“Thanks for your help, babe. Our fur son’s a menace and you’re just standing there”  
“It’s not my fault you two look so cute together”  
Tilting his head back, Lance looked up at him  
“Is that jealousy I hear in my husband’s voice? Is someone jealous he’s not getting cuddles and are you recording me right now? You are, aren’t you? Dios. Why am I married to you?!”  
Cackling with laughter, Keith nodded  
“It’s not my fault. You and Kosmo looked too cute not to record”  
“Kosmo, attack! Protect me. Your father had betrayed me”  
Pointing at Keith, Kosmo ignored the command, yipping excitedly as he jumped back and pounced again. A large paw landing on Lance’s stomach, ending the game as Lance grunted in pain, immediately trying to curl around his belly.

Grabbing Kosmo by the collar, Keith hurled him back. Lance’s eyes were scrunched closed, and Keith’s heart was in his throat. Kneeling beside his husband, he moved to sit Lance up  
“Babe?!”  
“I’m ok...”  
“You’re... he... Bad dog!”  
Kosmo whimpered. He knew he’d done wrong. Remorse on his face  
“It’s ok. He took me by surprise”  
“You’re not hurt? Let me see”  
“I’m ok... I’m ok... it was the shock...”  
“Are you sure?”  
Lance nodded quickly, his hands rubbing his swollen stomach  
“I panicked... it was the shock... I’m o...”  
Keith was pushed away as Lance grabbed the edge of the toilet, throwing up again  
“It’s alright. Let it out...”  
Even with his face in the toilet, Keith knew Lance was scowling at him. Keith didn’t know much about pregnancy, but he did know he felt like Lance was throwing up too much. Mami had said Lisa was sick for her whole pregnancy. He didn’t know how he’d deal with his guilt if Lance was too  
“We’ve got some time before our order comes. I’ll stay with you until then”  
Rubbing Lance’s shoulders, his husband’s slowly relaxed into his touch as his hacking and gagging passed  
“I don’t wanna be throwing up for that long. Can you help me to bed instead? I want to go back to sleep”  
“You don’t want to rinse your mouth first?”  
“I’m too sleepy”  
“Ok, babe. I’ve got you”  
“That better not mean you’re about to pick me up. Not with your busted foot”  
Laughing lightly, Keith pressed a kiss to Lance’s hair  
“Only you would scold me for that while looking like death warmed up”  
“I’m the only one married to you, so I reserve that right”  
“Yes, you are. And now I’m taking you to bed”  
Lance groaned at him  
“Don’t word it like that. You’re going to get parts of me excited that I’d rather not be”  
“Now that you mention it...”  
Lance swatted at him  
“Down boy. If you’re a good boy, you can have sex with me when I don’t feel so tired”  
“But you’re always tired”  
“Exactly. Now help me to bed. It was your monster penis that knocked me up. You can wait”  
“Like you don’t love my “monster penis””  
“Annnnnd apparently now I’m horny. Thanks for that”

It was at least as much Lance’s fault for joking flirty as it was Keith’s for his equally flirty reply. Lance scent was dizzying as he helped his husband to stand. Arousal wafting off him as if Lance was in heat. The day had been weird enough as it was, and Keith’s poor brain didn’t think it could take much more.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!!!!
> 
> This year’s goal is to not write 1.23million words 😂

He was a “horn dog” as his husband slurred out the insult. Lance was too worked up to sleep, tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable. Keith kicked out of their bedroom so Lance wasn’t distracted by “how unfairly hot” Keith. Left to sit in the cargo bay, the wait was annoyingly long. When the warehouse workers finally arrived, Lance wasn’t there to enjoy them unimpressedly calling out “Order ready for... a couple of idiots”. Having forgotten his comms were on until he was bored with waiting, Keith almost wished he’d left them on to record how annoyed the man yelling out the order name sounded. Heading down the ramp to greet the guy, he was told in no uncertain terms to “never do that again” as this was a “serious business”. Someone had clearly been born without a sense of humour, or was pissed that they’d had to fill an order so large. As he signed off, Keith stayed out the way, the order reminding him of when Lance filled that other time, leaving them with the barest of spaces to slither in between the perilously perched crates. Taking into collection 15 pallets all wrapped and stocked high, again he couldn’t help but feel his husband had over-shopped, especially when it came to the alcohol side of things. With military precision and practised hand, his ship was loaded to the gills within half an hour and it was finally time to head down to Cuba.

Taking the longest way he could to get to Cuba, Marco was sitting out the front of the house on the steps with a battered suitcase beside him. Landing smoothly in front of Lance’s family home, Keith wanted to talk to Lance’s parents before waking his husband. Heading down, Marco was already stalking across towards the loading ram, one hand crammed deeply in his jacket pocket  
“You’re late! Any later and Mami would have made me start walking”  
Someone was snappy  
“Had to stop for supplies. She in the house?”  
“How observant of you. Where am I bunking?”  
Keith didn’t need a Marco sized headache  
“You’re not bunking. The trip won’t take that long. You don’t seem overly thrilled”  
“You wouldn’t either if you had your overbearing mother lecturing you. How old does she think I am? I’ve worked bars before. This was her idea, the least she can do is quit complaining at me”  
Patting his brother-in-law’s shoulder  
“You could save the universe and she’d still be the same. Lance is sleeping, but Kosmo’s around somewhere. If you don’t feel like getting too lost, you can find some space in the cargo hold. It’s a bit full up at the moment. Had to make a pit stop and grab supplies for the outpost”  
Marco sighed  
“I wish you, luck man. I’ve got no idea what’s gotten into her today. Her and papi. He’s been in a state all damn day. Been farming all his life, yet decided today was the day to leave the chicken gate open. Normally it’s fine, but then he left the main gate open. Chickens everywhere...”  
Shaking head, Marco resumed his trudge towards Keith’s ship. 

Miriam was standing in the doorway when Keith finally made it up to the house. Busting out the house, she drew him into a warm hug  
“Let me look at you. You look pale. Have you been eating enough?”  
“I’m fine, Mami. It’s just been a long day”  
“You’re telling me. I expected you here hours ago”  
“Lance was taking a nap, so I thought it best to let him rest. Then we had to stop by and pick up supplies”  
Miriam peered past him  
“Where is he?”  
“On the ship. His nausea’s been awful today. Kosmo teleported him... and that always ends up with him throwing up”  
“I hoped he’d be up by now. Jorge has been worrying”  
“Marco mentioned he was little off. If you don’t mind coming on board, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you. He’s had a pretty long day”  
Miriam nodded  
“You have too, it shows my dear. How’s he really been?”  
Keith thought of lying, but Miriam would take one look at Lance and know he wasn’t alright  
“He’s been up and down. All he wants to do is sleep. Today’s been all over the place. I went out for a few hours and came home to sleepwalking. He doesn’t remember so I didn’t mention it to him. I’m going to have Daehra take a look at him when we get to the outpost. He woke up for a bit when we stopped for supplies, that’s when Kosmo teleported him. I put him to bed when we finished throwing up. That was about 2 hours ago”  
“Poor dear. Did you have any luck getting him to take his medication? I know his knee's been bothering him, and he’s in enough pain without needing that”  
Keith blinked  
“Sorry? What?”  
“Pregnancy pains, dear. Well, as everything grows down there, cramping and such can be painful”  
“He hasn’t mentioned that”  
“I’m sure he’s feeling it by now. He’s most probably feeling the twins starting to move too”  
“He hasn’t mentioned that. He said he’s felt pretty gassy and gross”  
Miriam tapped the side of her nose  
“Those little flutterings are your twins moving. And he’s gotten bigger?”  
“Much”  
“Oh! I can’t wait to see. Jorge! Keith and Lance are here!”

Jorge came shuffling up the hall behind Miriam  
“Hello, Keith. Nice to see you again”  
Keith shuffled nervously, Miriam letting out a light chuckle  
“Now, now. Jorge isn’t mad at you. You and Lance are both consenting adults. It’s all a bit of a shock”  
“It was to us too. He’s not had a fun time so far, and I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself if his morning sickness doesn’t lessen soon”  
“It’s always worst in the first trimester. Now he’s in his second he should start feeling better soon”  
Thank Quiznak and the powers that be for that  
“I hope so. I hate not being able to do anything for him”  
“You being there is enough. And twins... another set of grandchildren... You’ve made this old lady a happy woman”  
Miriam’s eyes turned starry, Keith still feeling uncomfortable for not having told Jorge the previous week  
“It’s alright, Keith. I can’t say I wasn’t blown away by this news. I never imagined our little boy could end up pregnant, even with all the wonders of the universe. I fear I reacted rather poorly...”  
“It’s a lot to take in. I didn’t take it all that well either... Lance isn’t taking it all that well. He’s not too happy over his changing body”  
“Every new mother goes through that. He’ll be over it in no time”  
Miriam was very much wrong. Lance’s issues with his body were only growing. Though he couldn’t say as much to his mother-in-law  
“Hopefully. Neither of us expected this pregnancy, and Lance has been left doing the hard work. I’ll take you through, just mind the shopping. Lance had to pick up a few things for the outpost and his team... and Th’al over on Erathus”

Miriam exclaimed softly when she saw the stacked boxes of goods. Marco had himself in a corner, raising his right pointer to his lips as he hid from his parents. It was a strange sensation to lead Miriam and Jorge through to the back part of the ship he called home most of the time. He felt as if he should have cleaned or something...  
“Sorry, it’s chaos at the moment. As you know we went from Daibazaal straight out to the desert”  
“Mijo, I have 5 children and 3 grandchildren. A little mess hardly bothers me. No need to be so nervous. We’ll just poke our heads in say hello to Lance”  
Right. Not like that wasn’t adding to his stress levels as it was. Reaching their room, he awkwardly cleared his throat  
“I’ll wake him up... gimme a minute”

Lance was dozing, their blankets over his hips, his shirting having hiked up to show his belly. Walking over to his husband, Keith kissed his temple softly, Lance scooching closer to him  
“Babe. Mami and Jorge are here”  
“‘m sleeping”  
“I know. They’ll only be here for a few ticks. Marco’s already on board”  
“Ok... I’m still really sleepy”  
“I know. I’m not going anywhere”  
“Help me up?”  
“I’m sure they won’t mind...”  
“I mind! Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap”  
Rubbing Lance’s back, Keith nuzzled into his temple  
“You’re stressing. Jorge isn’t mad. He really wants to see you”  
“Until he sees what I look like”  
“Babe. Don’t go there. He loves you. You’ll see. You’re making this bigger in your head than you have to. Let’s get you up”

Sitting with his knees up and the blanket over them, Lance had a death grip on his hands as Miriam and Jorge came in  
“Oh, Mijo...”  
Striding to his side, Lance’s mother took his face in his hands, kissing his forehead, almost sitting in Keith’s lap in her hurry to be by her son  
“How are you feeling, my love?”  
“I’m ok, Mami. Tired, but ok... Papi...”  
“Your papi is right here. He’s not mad at you. Not at all. Isn’t that right, Jorge?”  
Lance’s father shuffled over, Lance cringing as his father ruffled his hair  
“Not mad at all. Your mother filled me in. How are you feeling?”  
Watery blue eyes gazed up at his papi  
“You’re not mad?”  
“Of course not. It’s all a bit of this and that. I’m not sure I understand, really”  
Lance started to cry. Miriam drawing him close  
“He means it was unexpected”  
“I didn’t mean to disappoint you again”  
“Hush, Mijo. I’m not disappointed”  
Jorge nervously played with the hat in his free hand  
“Let me take a look at you. Keith said you’ve gotten bigger since I last saw you”

Pulling back the blankets, Miriam let out a gasp. Letting his legs drop, Lance crossed his ankles, a hiss of pain coming from moving his knee  
“Oh, Mijo. Look at you... You can definitely tell it’s twins. Have you been having pain?”  
“A little... I looked it up and they said it was normal”  
“Indeed. Your chest, your nipples have darkened?”  
Lance blushed  
“Come now, if you can’t talk to you Mami, who can you talk to?”  
“It’s embarrassing. I’m not supposed to be like this”  
“Enough of that. Let me see you properly”  
Pushing Lance’s shirt up, Miriam beamed  
“The bruising has lessened. That’s a relief. I don’t think I was this big with Luis until I was pushing 20 weeks”  
Lance let out a miserable groan  
“Now, Mijo. There’s no need to be like that. It’s all perfectly natural. Isn’t it Jorge?”  
Jorge’s eyes were firmly fixed on Lance’s belly  
“Hmm, what was that?”  
“Lance, your son, is pregnant. Pregnancy is a perfectly natural thing”  
“That it is. I was thinking of putting a bull over Kaltenecker this year”  
Oh, Jorge. The man was trying. Keith felt a tug of sympathy. Jorge seemed a hair’s breadth away from fainting  
“Lance is hardly a cow. Goodness. All-day he’s been working himself into a worry that he upset you, and fancy the first thing he says is that”  
“He’s right... it is normal, but not when it comes to me. I’m sorry. I keep fucking up. The drinking and the partying and the aggression and I ruined Christmas...”  
Keith was being pulled into Miriam, Jorge finding space to wrap his arms around Lance. Feeling like an outsider, he would have left the three of them to it if Lance still wasn’t clutching his hand like there was no tomorrow  
“You had a hard time, Mijo. There’s no shame in that. You’ve been doing so much better with Keith around. You need to stop blaming yourself. The stress isn’t good for you, nor our grandchildren”  
“So it’s twins, that’s some good swimmers you’ve got there, Keith. That’s a good job there”

Keith blushed to the tops of his ears, yet Jorge managed to make Lance laugh  
“Papi! You can’t say that!”  
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say”  
“Anything but that!”  
“You know what a cow...”  
“Papi!”  
“Sorry. Sorry... Twins. He got you good. I suppose a natural birth is out of the picture”  
“Jorge. That’s enough. I’m sorry, Mijo. You know your father, everything has to be farm-related”  
“That’s true. I’m sorry I wasn’t ready to talk about it before. I didn’t want... I didn’t want to see you disappointed in me again”  
Clearing his throat, Jorge stood, starting to fiddle with his hat again  
“It’s all a bit over my head. Your Mami said it was Allura’s doing. Those Alteans are a strange bunch. That Coran, I have no idea what he’s saying most of the time”  
Keith could sympathise with that, Lance was quick to jump in to defend Coran  
“He’s a good man... He could probably explain all this better if he was here”  
Telling Jorge something had to be better than leaving him confused  
“Basically Allura changed the energy that makes up Lance. They call it quintessence. Alteans are shapeshifters, so male-male couples having children aren’t a big deal to them. Lance has extra quintessence, that allows him to heal faster than a... a human normally would”  
“It’s alright, Keith. You don’t need to try to explain. Mami is quite right. I’m far better when it comes to farming. Still... Becoming a father, you must be nervous?”  
“Yes, sir... I mean, Jorge. Yes. But I’m not going to run from it”  
“Just remember that during those sleepless nights. I think there was a period of about 6 months after Luis was born before he let us sleep through the night. Rachel didn’t like sleeping with the light on, while Marco would only sleep with it off. Veronica, you’d never know it now, but as soon as she could walk, she’d escape her cot and come climbing into bed with us”  
“And Lance?”  
“He was a quiet baby for the most part. He always loved being held. He’d cling to Mami when she’d try to put him down. But after 4 children the novelty of sharing a bed and waking up with a foot to face wears off. He would cry for hours if sport was on. We never knew why. Funnily enough, he was always an angel for his pop-pop. We used to have quite a few photos of the two of them asleep. Lance in his arms fast asleep, while his head was back and drowned the TV out with his snores. He’d always insist he was resting his eyes”

Keith didn’t have these memories. He couldn’t add anything to the conversation. Jorge’s eyes were filled with affection as he spoke of his children. One day that’d be him. Him getting misty-eyed over his twins. Remembering the sleepless nights and feet to the face. The twins were even born and he felt as if he’d lived a hundred lifetimes since finding out. He was going to be an absolute mess when they were  
“Papi and I will let you both head off. I was going to suggest a trip up to visit Allura, but it’s best we don’t put any more strain on your body. Now, I want you to keep me updated, and I want to know the moment you know the sex of our grandchildren. And any complications. We’re waiting right here for you, Mijo. Be sure to take care of yourself, and be sure to talk to Keith. The poor boy is doing his best, sweetheart. I love you”  
Miriam kissed Lance’s forehead, Lance’s voice soft as he told his parents he loved them. Keith noticing how he dodged promising that he’d keep in touch or keep them updated. Lance was still weary around his father, but it’d all turned out alright in the end. Fussing over settling him back down, Keith missed holding his husband’s hand as soon as Miriam pulled them apart so she could boss Lance into getting under the blankets, Mami nodding with her chin towards Keith as she silently conveyed her desire to speak with him outside.

Leaning with his back against the wall and his busted foot raised, Miriam and Jorge soon joined him outside the bedroom  
“You’ll be in touch, right? After Daehra has assessed him?”  
Drawing his brow, Keith didn’t like the way Miriam questioned him  
“That was the plan. Why? Do you think somethings wrong?”  
“I’m worried over his personal hygiene. Did you smell him? He smells horrendous. If he isn’t careful with his body, it could lead to miscarriage”  
Lance showered daily. Sometimes two or three times of an accident happened  
“Oh... his scent... it’s kind of a Galra thing. It tells my instincts how he’s feeling. Like if he’s hurting or sick, or happy. Now that he’s pregnant, his scent’s grown a lot stronger too. I helped him shower a few hours ago”  
Miriam let out a sigh of relief  
“That’s good. He’s had a certain scent about him since he came back”  
“It’s from what Allura did to him. Basically, she knew Lance had feelings for both of us and was trying to help us communicate better. That’s another one of Coran’s theories though”  
“Not to speak ill of the dead, and not that Allura wasn’t a lovely young lady, but I never saw the warm spark in her eyes that you get when you see Lance. Nor have I ever wanted to shake someone as badly as I do her. I do wish she hadn’t gifted Lance with these strange new powers...”  
“Lance has had a lot of trouble dealing with them. He loves you both so much that he’s scared to tell you. He didn’t even want to tell the others about his seizures until Veronica humiliated him over it. He’s fixated on people acting, and treating him, differently if they know. We’ve already talked to the doctors and there isn’t anything they can do other than medicate him for them. After having Kre’el place that biochip in his brain, surgery has completely been ruled out”  
“Have you been monitoring him closely? Seizures carry such great risk during pregnancy”  
“As closely as I can. Provided his mood stays level, he’s mostly seizure-free. It’s hard of course, with the brain injury. It affects his moods so badly that he gets it in his head that he’s a freak”  
“Has he spoken to his counsellor lately?”  
“No. Kept our comms off. He needed the radio silence. I’ll try and get him to once we get to the outpost and after he’s slept”  
“I’m sure you know best. He does look rather sickly. I’m worried he’s lost weight. Chronic nausea and anemia can lead to birth complications and defects”  
“Galra genetics are pretty hardy. But I’m still going to have Daehra run a full barrage of tests. I’m worried about his knee. I think Rachel injured it further”  
“Then we best let you get on your way. Don’t forget to keep us updated. We want to know all about our coming grandchildren”  
Miriam drew him in for a warm hug, which Keith returned. Never did he think he could have a proper conversation with Lance’s parents like this. Unsupervised, and fuck up free. He’d been so scared they’d hate him, and now he was wondering if maybe he should be scared because they didn’t. Guiding the pair back to the cargo bay, Miriam was quick to spot Marco. Kosmo’s thudding tail drawing their attentions as his fur son demanded love from his uncle. Hugging Marco tightly and making him promise not to cause trouble for his younger brother, the pair were soon off his ship and Keith was left with a new niggling worry.

Hitting the button to raise the ramp, Marco was standing near the cleared space in front of it. His arms crossed as he glared at the supply boxes  
“Marco?”  
“Why is everything always about Lance? He doesn’t even live at home anymore”  
Ah... another topic he was useless at. Sibling jealousy  
“Probably because he’s been through a lot?”  
“We all have. It’s not like Earth was all fun and games while you were fighting. We all had to fight to survive, but he made the choice to leave us. And now I’m being sent to work for my younger brother, while Mami and Papi are telling me I have to be careful and not ruin things for him. They act like he’s the prodigal child, but he’s not here working 12 hour days on the farm. He’s not the one harvesting all the junipers he planted for Allura. He chose space over us”  
Quiznak. He’d known picking up Marco was a headache waiting to happen  
“Marco, it’s not like that. Walk with me through to the cockpit, and we can talk”  
“You're his husband. Of course, you’re going to be on his side”  
“I know I’m his husband. But you’re his brother and he cares about you. That’s why I think we should talk”  
“So you can tell me I should go easy on him?”  
“So I can answer any questions you have. You don’t know me very well, and I kind of suck at advice, but if you want someone to listen I will”  
Marco side-eyed him before shrugging and stuffing his hands in his pockets. Keith taking it as a sign that he could finally head to the cockpit. It’d been fine when it was simply him, Lance and Kosmo. Now he had his in-laws to think of. Everyone wanted the best for Lance, yet none of them actually knew what that was. He was sure Marco’s upset came from being left outside the loop.

Moving the flowers, chocolates and necklace box off the passenger seat, Marco mumbled bitterly about Lance as he sat. Starting up his ship again, Keith held his tongue until she was purring like a kitten in his hold  
“Now. What do you want to know? You obviously have questions and I don’t want you and Lance fighting”  
“What’s going on for starters? Mami suddenly making me come out to space. Her and papi coming on board to see Lance, as if he couldn’t come see them. Papi being off all day. I thought he’d be here...”  
“Lance is sleeping in my room at the back of the ship. He’s exhausted and most likely will be spending the rest of the day in the infirmary once we reach the outpost”  
“Why? It’s a sprained knee. He’s had worse”  
He might as well bite the bullet  
“Lance is pregnant”

There was a very long and strained moment before Marco was climbing out the passenger chair  
“You’re just like him. I thought I might be able to have an actual conversation with you, but now you’re telling me this!?”  
“Because it’s true. You haven’t seen him yet, but he’s pregnant. Allura changed his body to make it easier for us to have our own biological children seeing Lance is big on family. I’m not lying”  
“Bullshit”  
“I’m not lying. He’s 13 weeks with twins. That’s why papi was so out of it today. Lance called him earlier”  
“No fucking way”  
“He is”  
“He’s my baby brother! I changed his nappy! He doesn’t have any of that down there!”  
“That’s because Allura changed him. Now, will you sit down? You’re making it hard to concentrate on piloting when you’re yelling”

Marco dropped back into the chair, huffing as he crossed his arms and placed his feet up on the dash  
“That stupid shit. Of course, he goes and does that. He’s always gotta one-up us like we don’t mean a thing to him”  
“He didn’t plan on falling pregnant”  
“And now he is, big brother has to step in. Surprise surprise. Another one of his messes we’re left to work out”  
This wasn’t like Marco at all. Marco was always smiling. He was the closest to Lance personality-wise, always able to find the joke in everything  
“What do you mean by another mess?”  
“You do know it was his idea to plant all those junipers? But now he’s to busy to come home and help with the harvest. With the recovery and repopulation, demand has dropped. The farm’s struggling and he’s... he’s off blowing money left, right, and centre on himself. Mami and papi are struggling, Luis and Lisa have had to cut back their own hours to help out. He doesn’t even care. He’s off doing whatever the hell he wants, then pops up like it’s nothing. I’m sick of him walking all over our parents”  
Keith was struck dumb. They’d welcomed him into the family, yet it felt like he was hearing something deeply private and not for his ears. Mami and Jorge would never have said anything. They had their own pride and dreams for their children. Lance loved the farm. He loved his family... And Keith was getting kind of pissed that Marco was having a temper tantrum for being sent off-world. As far as Keith knew, this was his first time, possibly second. Unlike them, Marco was begging his journey without being grown into war  
“You do know he sends money back home every week, don’t you?”  
Marco scoffed  
“Yeah. And I’m the next pope. He’s always been like this. Running off thinking of himself first”  
“Marco. I know I’m his husband, so you think I’m being biased. Lance worries about all of you all the time. He sends home money weekly. He tries his best to only call home when his depression isn’t being a douche. All that shopping was for the outpost. He insisted you’d be more comfortable having things from Earth around you”  
“See! How am I supposed to be mad at that! Everything he does, he’s Saint Lance”

Leaving the sentence hanging, Keith raised his ship to a comfortable altitude  
“When I first met him, I couldn’t stand Lance. I didn’t understand his desire for us to all get along, or why he constantly picked fights with me. Then he did something stupidly heroic. He saved Coran from an explosion. He shoved him out the way without thinking and took the full hit of the blast. He was knocked unconscious, yet, when we looked as if we were screwed, he woke up and fired the shot the saved the day. He promptly forgot about it all. For months this went on. Slowly I realised all Lance wanted was for someone to see him as him. At the Garrison, he was constantly compared to me. Told he wasn’t good enough to have made it anywhere on his own merit. He might have been a Paladin, but he constantly felt he wasn’t wanted or needed. He died saving Allura, and still didn’t think he was good enough. The whole time he was up there, he wanted to come home to you all”  
“I’m his older brother. There’s an order to these things... What am I supposed to teach him when there’s nothing left to teach”

Muttering to himself, Keith hummed like he hadn’t heard every word. He supposed to Marco it may be humiliating working for his younger brother... or was it the pregnancy thing? Lance owned his outpost and had a share in the club. He was married. They had children on the way. He was an accomplished pilot and a bad arse bounty hunter with his fair share of scars. He’d dated a princess, even having his wedding officiated by a princess... So maybe he could see why Marco was salty... He probably felt like being the older brother meant he was the one who was to experience all of these things first. Or at least the marriage and children thing. Whatever was going on with him, he hoped Marco would get his shit together before they reached the outpost.

*  
“Dae! Help!”  
Despite having spent most of the day sleeping, Lance felt physically sick from a lack of sleep. His eyes burned, and his head throbbed under the bright light of the storage room. Returning to the outpost felt like returning home. Stumbling into Daehra’s arms, he hugged her tightly. Having been with his team so long, he missed their reassuring and constant presence. Pushing him off with a faked laugh, her face clearly said he was in trouble... A trouble that had to wait until Keith’s ship was offloaded. Not trusted to carry boxes, he’d been placed in charge of directing how they stored. The only issue was that he’d now boxed himself in. Too exhausted for words, Lance was sure he’d face plant if he tried to step over the box in front of him while negotiating his crutches  
“Leandro! How...?”

Shaking his head, Lance handed over his crutches. Daehra propping then against another pile of boxes as she then took his hand and helped him step over the offending box that held him captive  
“I don’t know... Which idiot bought so much?”  
“That would be you. You’re in such pain... Will you please let me tend to you now? The others have loaded most things in here”  
“Marco still needs to be added to the security system...”  
“He’s not the one who’s pregnant. I can feel the strain your body is under, yet the first thing you insist I do is look at Keith’s foot. I was hoping that your pregnancy would bring forth some intelligence between the pair of you. Evidently not”  
“Don’t be like that. Keith and I were trying to enjoy our week off”  
“You’re in constant pain. Not only from your knee, but your heart. Did you happen to fight with Marco?”  
“Not that I know of. He took one look at my stomach, then stormed off. You saw the way Keith had to go after him. He thinks he can get away with not using his crutches”  
“You’re one to talk. I bet you haven’t been sticking to using your crutches”  
Lance huffed. He was trying. They were just so awkward and annoying to use  
“I’ve been doing better than he has, so you can save that scowl all for Keith. Fine. Let’s go get me scanned. The others can finish up while you’re torturing me. I’m going to sleep for a year when you’re done”  
“I want you resting and off that knee while you’re home. Lucteal and Keith can show him what he needs to know. Will he also be assigned a name?”  
“He will when I can think of one. I don’t have much brainpower right now”  
“Leandro, try as you might to hide behind a joke, I know you’re worried for him”  
“That’s cheating, Dae”  
“Then stop giving me so many things to think and worry over. You need to focus on you and your twins”  
“Yes, mum. Lecture received. Let’s go see Keith’s babies”

Daehra settled him down in the medical room before resuming her fussing again. She’d set up a saline bag, diagnosing him at dehydrated, before she pulled her holopad out and confirmed as much. He’d passed from malnourished, and to simply underweight, something she wasn’t impressed over, but how was he supposed to keep anything down when most of the time it just wanted to come back up? He’d lost a few kilos since the start of his pregnancy, though he knew his weight had gone up before falling again, so he’d really lost more than that. Keith’s twins were healthy. Daehra asking if he wanted to see them, but to see them without Keith there wasn’t fair. The fact they were both ok was all that mattered. Aside from that, he was anemic. Daehra fussing loudly as she went about injecting various things into his IV line. There was something in there for the nausea. Something natural for the pain. Something for the anemia. There were probably other compounds, the idea of all the different things in his system had him fidgeting with the cannula in his elbow. Daehra knew his history all too well, yet that didn’t stop her from threatening “to tie his hands to bed if he didn’t stop carrying on like a child”. 

His problem was his knee. Rachel had aggravated the grade three MCL tearing, and his stubbornness hadn’t helped, nor the times he’d avoided his brace... and the sex... though the sex had been... Keith was way too skilled at hitting all his sweet spots until he sang like a canary. Not game to operate on his knee while he was pregnant, Daehra was appalled they hadn’t placed him into a pod for treatment. His body was already under a huge amount of stress trying to provide the twins with all the nutrients they needed, no to mention he was little rough around the edges. It wasn’t like the Alteans hadn’t wanted to, it simply wasn’t viable with the twins exposed to the planet’s toxins... Daehra didn’t buy it. Even when he insisted that she call Miriam so his Mami could confirm his overnight stay, she insisted he was “an idiot for not following up once things had stabilised”, or something to that effect. He’d desperately needed the space and time alone with his husband. A week hadn’t been enough, not with the stillness and tranquillity of the desert. Plus, he was tired, Keith was hurt, he was hurt, there was cleaning to do, and had he mentioned he was tired? With how tired he was, he was struggling to stay awake now that his head was against a pillow and in his body against a bed. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but he seemed to be able to sleep anywhere lately. Stick him in a corner and he’d be dead to the world in ticks. Starting to doze, he jolted back awake when something hit his leg. Smirking at him, Daehra knew damn well she was disturbing his rest  
“Dae. Platonic mother of mine, what do you think you’re doing?”  
“Seeing your brace is rubbing, I’ve had a much better idea on how to deal with your knee”  
“Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like this?”  
“Because you most probably won’t”  
Her hands rose to hold some dripping thing  
“What the Quiznak is that?”  
“I’m going to make a cast. And when you return to Diabazaal, your idiot arse is getting in a healing pod. Now, I could be quite mean and contact Coran. He’d open a wormhole in a jiffy if it’s for you. See, the way I see it, you now have two choices. One. I can attend to you here. You stay still and silent as I place this cast on. Here, where you can sleep in your own bed. You spent more time with Keith, and make sure that Marco is fully trained before leaving. Or, two. I call Coran and you transfer to Altea. Altea where you will be kept in hospital, with people fussing over your every move, and you don’t have your own bed. You have no say in Marco’s training and you’re forced to wait for updates knowing time moves differently”  
Lance gaped at Daehra. He had so many regrets over teaching her English, and who the quiznak had taught her to be so sassy?!  
“Good. Now close your eyes and rest. All the strain on your body is bad for you and your twins. I can’t believe you’d endanger their lives and yours out of sheer stubbornness. Do you want to lose your twins? Because if you do not slow your reckless ways, that is what will happen”  
Lance nodded mutely. He couldn’t do that to Keith. Keith adored them. Keith was the one carrying all the happiness that Lance wished he could feel. He was excited in his own way, he just sorely wished it didn’t mean his body would betray like it was. Closing his eyes, his hands gripped the sheet beneath him as he forced down his sniffles. He didn’t deserve to cry when he’d bought this all upon himself.

*  
Growling as he wiped at his brow, Keith had forgotten that Marco wasn’t as strong as Lance. Marco could only carry one box at a time, where he and Lucteal could both manage two, three if he was feeling slightly pissy and wanted to rub it in. It was faster for him, and Lucteal, to leave Marco sorting the boxes that’d been brought in, rather than having him help with the initial loading. Being a warehouse, things had ended up everywhere. They were forced to sort and load as they went, prioritising perishables and drinks over Lance’s careful consideration of Marco’s need for Earthen toiletries. Glaring at the mess of boxes, Keith was done. Lance and Daehra had both disappeared from the storage room, which could only mean Lance had finally let her take a look at him. A process he should have been there for. They were his twins too and his husband. He had more right than anyone else in the whole facility to be there by his husband side... except, maybe Daehra seeing she was the providing the medical aid. Coming up behind him, Lucteal ignored his fierce gaze  
“Go see Lance. I can handle the rest of this”  
“It’s a quzinakking mess”  
“Nothing free drinks for a few choice customers won’t fix. I’ll take Marco to Zak so he can be added to the security system. You go see Lance before you poison my emotions any more”  
Empath. Right  
“That bad?”  
“With every emotion, you’re feeling polluting the air, you’re setting me off with your need to protect him. He’s strong. He’s a warrior in his own right and our leader. Now get out of here. I’m tired of feeling aroused for no reason”  
Lifting Lucteal’s hand off his shoulder, Keith snarled. Lucteal laughing openly in his face  
“Don’t blame me for the fact you can’t contain your emotions. Have her give you something else for your foot too. Lance flooded with me so many emotions over your damn foot that even I wanted to check your condition. You two don’t make it easy on empaths”  
“You’re an arsehole. I’ve told you this, haven’t I?”  
Lucteal shot him a smile, as he shrugged  
“And I still think you’re completely wrong for Lance”  
Both points that long since passed for them  
“Take care of Marco for us. He’s new to all of this”  
“Will do”

Keith absolutely did not get completely lost on the way to the med room. No, he only got ever so slightly locationally challenged. They needed goddamn maps around this place. The outpost wasn’t even a 10th of the size of Daibazaal’s palace, yet was just as difficult to negotiate. In the end, he had to ping Lance’s comms to track him down. Slamming his hand on the door scanner, an irritated comment sat on the tip of his tongue as he stormed into the space, before being brought up short by Lance. Only his husband could bring forth all these feeling within him. His bad leg was now in a cast, his stomach exposed by the blankets that had slipped down, both hands on the swell as he snored his head off. Tapping on her holopad, Daehra’s smiled at him  
“You can come in. He’ll be like this until tomorrow morning”

Moving to the side of the bed, he placed his right hand over his husband’s left  
“How is he?”  
“Exhausted. Slightly anemic, but I’ve given him a few shots to help with things. Stubborn as hell. I had to blackmail him into the cast. He said Rachel sat on his knee, yet he’s also been neglecting his brace. Whatever it was, he should have been in a pod. Your twins are both doing well, despite everything. You will need to ease up on the sex until his knee has healed”  
Keith sucked in his bottom lip trapping it under his top teeth for a moment. He couldn’t help himself... He’d never deny Lance any pleasure in life. Nor could he. His instincts were all over the place. Lance’s scent sent his head spinning, he smelt of the sweetest most sinful of fruits. Part of him wanted to lock Lance away from the world, part of him wanted to tear apart anyone who came close, and part of him was still terrified over becoming a father. The cast on Lance’s leg only made his first two parts agree that he was right to lock want to lock his husband up. The problem now was he was too embarrassed to say anything about what Daehra had said out loud... The half-Galra wasn’t sure what to say at all. Thankfully, Daehra spared him  
“I gave him a sedative, not that he needed one, yet I wanted to ensure he wasn’t up and pushing himself too much too soon. I want to run another bag through once this one ends. I also want him eating more folate and iron-rich food. I am going to give the kitchen staff a list of recommendations for his diet. I would say it’s due to the tenacity of Galra genetics that he hasn’t lost the twins yet, but I do not know enough about Galra pregnancies. They’re showing no signs of any major defects. He didn’t want to see them without you”  
Leaning down, Keith nuzzled into his husband’s cheek. He seriously was an idiot for worrying him far too much. He should have been more vocal at the hospital. He should have dug his heels in and force someone to look at Lance’s knee. Kissing Lance’s cheek, he squeezed his hand before looking up Daehra  
“You can tell how bad it was? I mean, the accident?”  
“Yes. Though the bruising may have lessened, it shows clearly on my scanners. That and the damage to his knee. It is somewhat perplexing though. His last pregnancy was aborted due to a severe blow to his stomach, perhaps the sire was not Galra...? He is lucky not to have endured the same thing this time”  
“They gave him a bunch of medication he’s supposed to be taking, but pills make him gag. If I pass it along to you, do you think you could come up with something easier for him to take? Even if it’s a daily injection, that’s better than him sending himself into a panic attack over not being able to take it”  
“I’m less worried about him not being able to take his medication than I am about him pretending he’s come to terms with the accident. He didn’t want to be parted from you earlier. He hasn’t said as much, but I believe he hasn’t come to terms with what happened. He was almost easier to understand when he was suppressing everything”  
Keith sighed. Not for the first time, he wished he had her powers, yet at the same time, he was relieved he didn’t  
“I think I made that worse. I told him it was my job to take care of him”  
Daehra cringed, Keith couldn’t blame her  
“Yeah. I could have worded it better. I was trying to tell him that I’m his husband and I’m going to stay by his side. I was hoping our vacation would help, but I kept doing and saying the wrong thing”  
“Never mind. You have the whole movement to make it up to him here. He’ll be out like a light until tomorrow morning, so you have plenty of time to think of how you two things are going to work this out”  
Jerking up, Keith swore lightly  
“I left his presents on my ship. Shit. I didn’t even think to grab them, and they were right there in the cockpit”  
Daehra brightened as if Keith had said the magic words  
“Presents? You bought him presents?”  
She almost sounded as excited as if she was receiving them herself  
“Flowers, chocolates and a new chain for his wedding ring. Can I take him back to our room?”  
“Not just yet. I do believe you have an infected foot I need to take a look at. I’m thinking of banning the pair of you from any all missions. My heart cannot take hearing you’ve both gotten into yet another scrape”  
“Then it’s a good thing you didn’t know us when we were Paladins”  
Keith’s joking tone was met with a flat glare from Daehra. Almost meekly he hung his head  
“Fine. I don’t know how I got more debris in my foot, Daibazaal gave me the all-clear”  
“I am not Galra, nor from Daibazaal. You are in my med bay, now sit. You can sit next to him, just please don’t disturb his leg”

Taking his boots off, Daehra glared up at him as she peeled off the dressing. Wiping it over with a sterile wipe, Keith grimaced  
“You think that is bad. You are not the one who has to smell your feet”  
“They're not that bad... I had shower earlier”  
“And left a wet dressing on...”  
Turning the dressing over, Daehra had a look of determination on her face as she picked up his boot and carried it over to her workbench. Turning on the small lamp, she pulled the tongue of his boot down and sighed  
“What is it?”  
“Are these the boots you were wearing when the accident happened?”  
Keith scrunched his brow in confusion  
“Yeah? They got cleaned up then returned”  
Holding his boot out towards him with her nose wrinkled, Daehra sounded done with him  
“Keith! I’m sorry to say, without serious surgery they’ve seen their last day”  
“Surgery?”  
Why would a boot need surgery? They were fine. Finally broken in, and in one piece  
“You’ve still got plant matter in them. Between the soul and the fabric bottom. No wonder you ended up with more in your foot!”  
“Seriously?”  
“Yes, you idiot. Did you not check!? I bet you didn’t. You men never learn. Do you have another pair of boots here?”  
“I do... but they’re not as comfortable as those”  
“Then these can go in the bin”  
“But they’re perfectly fine”  
“They stink and they’re full of splintered material. They should have been labelled a bio-hazard and disposed of out the nearest airlock. Though that may have been inflicting damage on the vacuum of space”  
“You know, Dae. You were so much more formal when I met you... so much less sassier too”  
“Chasing after you, Lucteal, Leandro, and Zak will do this to you. I swear I have no idea how you all have lasted so long”  
Keith picked his words careful  
“With your careful care?”  
Daehra only scowled harder. Well... he’d tried  
“I’m not moved by your flattery. I’m going to dispose of these, then conduct a full-body scan. If you do not cooperate, please remember I can also sedate you too”  
She wasn’t even joking. Walking over and plucking up his other boot, they disappeared out the door in Daehra’s hands. He’d really liked those boots. And it wasn’t like any normal person went around thinking about what was stuck in their boot when they couldn’t feel anything... Besides, who returns someone boots when they’re still filled with bits of brambles? This wasn’t his fault at all... even if a normal person might check for damage... At least it wasn’t all bad. Rolling to lay facing Lance, Keith cuddled into his husband. He’d much rather be cuddling Lance than doing anything else.


	30. Chapter 30

“Mmnff... good morning to you too”

Waking up to Lance smiling happily at him, Keith found his husband pressing a hard kiss to his lips. One hand was stroking his hair while the other rested on Keith’s chest  
“You bought me flowers!”  
Still more asleep than awake, Keith followed Lance gaze to the flowers sitting on his bedside table. He’d placed all of Lance’s presents together on his bedside table after Daehra had woken him from his nap beside his husband. Not immediately after, no, he’d had to deal with a Marco issue in the bar, then find his spare pair of boots, followed by gathering up Lance’s medication to deliver it all to Daehra, calling Mami, dealing with a lost Marco who he sent to the kitchen to help Tobias, and then finally he’d been able to collect Kosmo, from where he was trying to steal treats out the storeroom, and have his wolf teleport him over to his ship where he gathered up Lance’s presents. Teleporting him back to his and Lance’s bedroom, he realised he’d forgotten Kosmo’s new bed, so it was another trip back to his ship, then to their bedroom again, then over to Lance, where he finally had Kosmo teleport them both back to their bedroom. By then Lance’s second saline bag had run through, meaning all that was left to let Lance wake naturally.

“Yeah. I wanted to...”  
Cut off by another kiss, Lance rolled his hips against his leg. His husband already hard as his hand started sliding southward. Daehra words echoed in his mind. They weren’t supposed to be fooling around, but his dick had a mind of its own. Lance was the one coming into him... Groaning as he was forced to break the kiss, he regretfully took Lance’s hand in his  
“Babe... Babe, we can’t”  
Lance pouted at him. His pupils were already wide and dark. Dios. No one should be allowed to be that sexy so soon after waking  
“Why not?”  
“Daehra...”  
Groaning at her name, Lance rolled onto his back, letting his arms flop outward  
“Dammit. I’m horny”  
Chuckling softly Keith could sympathise. His sweats were tenting beneath the blanket  
“Doctor’s orders”  
“That doctor isn’t pregnant. Aren’t I supposed to resting and avoiding stress?”  
Keith laughed softly again  
“That’s true. You seem to be feeling better though”  
“I feel safe when I’m here. Waking up to see red roses and chocolates might have had something to do with it too”  
Finally forming himself to roll over, Lance looked so much better than he had the night before  
“So it’s not your husband that’s made you happy? Just the gifts from him?”  
Reaching up, Lance bopped him on the top of his nose  
“You make everything better. It’s just nice, you know, not waking up with a headache or feeling like I’ve walked from Earth to Altea”  
“You look better. I mean... you were really pale yesterday”  
“No offence to Daibazaal, but I’m more at ease when Daehra’s behind the needle... that sounds pretty bad. I... I know I’m having a high right now, and I know everything will hit and I’ll stumble again, but I feel better than I have been...”  
Lance sighed deeply, not sounding all that happy  
“... I’m really fucking horny... Sorry. I’m going to take a shower. My pants are stuck to my arse”  
“You’re doing this on purpose now, aren’t you?”  
Lance had a mischievous look in his eyes. Scooching away from him, his husband made a great show of trying to look both innocent of the accusation and as sexy as he could while sporting his cast. He failed both miserably. His graceful movements hampered from not being able to bend his knee, resulting in his scent taking a sour note. Grabbing the nearest crutch for support he hefted himself up, exposing his damp sky blue box briefs that had turned dark with wetness across his arse... Swallowing, Keith knew he should let Lance slip off into the bathroom alone, but his husband’s scent... He smelt phenomenal. His scent going straight to Keith’s dick... gripping the sheets, his growing claws caught on the fabric as he tried to squash down his instincts.

“Keith? Help?”

Scrambling off the bed, Keith was in the bathroom in an instant. Lance’s underwear was stuck on his cast. His bare arse shiny with wetness. Striding over to his husband, he took Lance’s underwear in his hands, pulling the fabric down to pool around his ankles  
“Put your hands on the counter”  
Growling at his husband, Keith rose, pulling his underwear down around his thighs. Palming himself Keith watched as Lance did as requested. Feet spread a shoulders width apart as he stuck his arse back. He was hungry for his husband, but he wasn’t about to put the carrot before the cart. Sinking to his knees, he spread Lance’s arse cheeks, watching his husband’s opening twitch as more wetness ran down his taint. Rubbing his thumb over the sensitive opening, Lance moaned, pushing back against the digit  
“Keith...”  
He didn’t want Lance to hurt, but he was out of patience. Swapping his thumb for two fingers, Lance hissed as they slid into his wet heat, Keith giving him a moment to adjust before starting to pump then slowly  
“Ah! Mnngh... more...”  
Kneeling wasn’t giving him the right angle, standing he resumed jerking his leaking dick as he fucked Lance harder with his fingers, rocking back, Lance's head was lolled forward, the bite scar on the back of his name visible in the bright bathroom light  
“Gonna fuck you so good, baby... come all up in your pretty arse”  
“Please... please, Keith. I feel like I’m in heat”

Pulling his fingers out, Lance whimpered at the loss. Smearing wetness over his dick, he lined himself up, slowly pushing himself into Lance’s heat as his husband gripped the counter harder  
“Fuck... oh, fuck... fuck... I’m going to come”  
“Not just yet...”  
Burying himself balls deep, Keith bit his bottom lip, trying to stave off orgasm as he stood half stooped  
“Move... Keith, move...”  
“Give me a tick... You feel so good around my dick...”  
Straightening up, Keith pulled out until only the tip of his dick was breaching his husband. Lance loved it when he kept things shallow and teased at his greedy opening. Thrusting in again, he started building a slow pace, Lance’s wanton moans mixed with “Dios” as his husband tried to urge him deeper  
“I know how much you love when I tease you like this. You’re so sensitive it makes me want to make you come like this”  
“Keith... I wanna come with you... with you... I want it harder”  
“Remember you said that”  
Thrusting in hard, Lance rocked up onto the balls of his feet as Keith tried to hold his hips down. Slamming into his husband, his fingernails cut into his hips as wet slaps of skin against skin filled the bathroom. Feeling his dick starting to swell, he pulled back, Lance growling at him in anger  
“Don’t you dare think of pulling out now. I will fucking castrate you right here”  
“What did you say?”  
Moving his hands to Lance’s stomach, Keith curled around his husband, fucking him hard against the counter. Lance has shifted forward, the angle changing and he wasn’t able to bury himself like he would have liked. Keeping it shallow again, Lance growled at him, taking his right hand off his stomach and placing it on his hip as he started fucking himself on Keith’s dick  
“Fuck... fuck... right there... ah... ah... Keith...”

Pulling out, Keith span his husband around, lifting him up onto the counter and spreading his legs wide. Pushing back into Lance he held his legs as he leaned in to kiss him, fucking him hard and fast like he’d wanted. Reaching up, Lance’s fingernails tore at his back as his husband clung onto him with all the strength he had. Breaking the kiss, Lance’s warm breath fell in pants...  
“I’m close, babe. I’m so fucking close...”  
“Nmhh... ah... come... wanna... wanna... oh... ah... gonna...”  
Lance clenched around him, his cum splattering across their stomach as his back arched. Riding him through his orgasm, more cum split with each thrust, Keith letting out a feral sounding growl as his own orgasm hit. Having felt so pent up, he couldn’t stop himself from continuing to thrust though all but stuck inside Lance. His seed flooding his husband as a second hit, rolling his hips with the pulses of cum, Keith let himself slump forward, nuzzling and kissing along Lance’s shoulder as his chest heaved. Lowering Lance’s legs, he kept his support under the cast.

Letting the doboshes pass as their racing hearts calmed, Lance nuzzled into his neck, a purr on his lips as he held him. His husband’s stomach was proud between them, his breasts hanging slightly from the lack of any support. Nosing at Lance’s hair, Keith closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the simpleness of holding him  
“Are you ok?”  
“Mmm... sex feels good”  
Keith kissed Lance’s sweaty hair  
“It didn’t hurt?”  
“No... felt good. I’m tired now...”  
“I think I’ve stopped coming”  
Pulling back, Lance let out a moan as Keith found himself still semi-stuck  
“I can’t pull out”  
“Then don’t... My body feels like I’m in heat... my nipples hurt...”  
“Can you sit up so I can see?”

Lance’s cheeks were pink as Keith stared at his growing chest. His nipples had darkened into a deep brown. Running his hand up to grope at Lance’s right breast, his husband let out a breathy moan  
“Don’t... they hurt”  
“I better kiss them better than”  
Lance shuddered, his velvety walls clenching as if trying to draw Keith deeper. Leaning down, he captured the small hard-right bud between his teeth, Lance’s hands flying to his hair. Changing the bite, he started to suck, then moved on to teasing the bud with his tongue as he pushed open-mouthed kisses to the spot. Beginning to rock his hips, Lance’s fingers intertwined his hair as his nails dragged across Keith’s scalp. Fucking him slowly, Lance was soon panting, Keith, shifting to the left nipple to shower it with the same attention. Building the pace over the next few doboshes, he felt as if he had nothing left in his balls as he came again, Lance moaning, rippling around him, a “gush” of cum leaked from the honeyed tip of his spent dick. Bringing his hands up, Keith cupped Lance’s face. A dopey, droopy smile on his lips as Keith kissed him possessively, before letting his forehead rest against his, both husband’s nuzzling into each other. So much for Daehra’s stance on sex.

*  
Drawing Keith back to bed with him, Lance spooned around him. His stomach was already hampering this, and he wanted to be able to hold Keith for as long as he could before it became physically impossible. Boneless from sex, a bubble bath with the fancy bubbles and Keith washing his hair, the Cuban couldn’t find the effort to care about the rest of the outpost. His mind was yelling at him over all the neglected jobs, but his instincts wanted Keith even more. His stupid cast was also making it hard to get comfortable. Grateful as he was to Daehra for making it waterproof, he’d rather take the pain from being hit, then not being able to cuddle Keith properly. Letting his fingers slide down Keith’s hip, his husband suddenly started laughing  
“What? What’s so funny?”

Turning to face him, Keith was so quiznakking perfect that temporarily he forgot he was kind of annoyed at him for laughing  
“It’s nothing. I was thinking about the twins and wondering if they knew I was laying here with my back to them. Then I had your voice in my head telling me it was rude. I don’t even know why I laughed”  
Taking his hand, Keith raised it to his lips to kiss the back of it, before holding it close to his lips so their hands rested on his pillow  
“Suck up. It’s not my fault I like holding you”  
“Zero complaints here. Are you hungry? I could get you something to eat? Or something to drink?”  
“I’m sleepy, though I think that’s because I can still feel my heartbeat in my arse”  
Keith poked his tongue out. His husband was unexpectedly childish at times, and Lance loved it. Leaning in, he nuzzled into Keith’s cheek with a happy sigh  
“This is all I want. My instincts want this. My brain is telling me I need to do a million and one things, but I don’t want to leave our bed”  
“I think we have time. The days are longer here, after all. I called Mami last night to let her know you and the twins were alright. I didn’t tell her about the cast though”  
“Marco probably will. Did you see him last night?”  
“Yeah. I sent him to the kitchens. Lucteal babysat him for a bit”  
“I’m the one who should be teaching him the ropes around here”  
“Oooor, you could lay here with your husband and let your team treat him like a new hire. You did promise Daehra she could take on staff”  
That was true. Daehra had held off long enough because of him...  
“Do you think Marco wants a career in medicine?”  
“I think Marco would be happier behind the bar”  
Lance hummed  
“I have the feeling they’re going to eat him alive. He’s been off. He took one look at me and bolted”

Keith’s scent shifted. Try as he might to hide it with his lack of immediate reply, Lance knew something was up  
“You know something”  
“Nooooo”  
Keith was a terrible lier. If you’re going to set yourself up for a lie, drawing out “no” was a horrible way to go about it  
“Babe, he’s my brother and my staff member. I need to know if something is going on”  
Keith sighed softly  
“It’s just... He pissed me off yesterday. He and Mami had some kind of fight and spilled over into him being in a shit mood coming out here”  
Mami and Marco had had some legendary fights during the time he’d been tearing his family apart. Pretty much the only two people who hadn’t fought over him were Lisa and his papi  
“Was it the “Lance doesn’t give a damn about anyone other than himself” fight? Or “I know he went to war, but stop letting him walk all over you” fight? Or my personal favourite “Why should he have a say in the farm, when he doesn’t even care if we lose it?”. I don’t think it would have been “He’s fucking drunk again, and you keep enabling it”, that was more Luis and Mami... and my personal favourite was when Rachel said “I was a real lady killer”, implying Allura died to get away from me. You know me and V are always knocking heads. My point is, people act and lash out when they’re scared... I felt as if I was tearing them all apart, but in reality, they all loved me so much that the didn’t know how to make me better. If Mami and Marco fought it would because she wants him babysitting me. It hurt that he ran away from me... I’m still his brother though. We still love each other. So it’s not something you need to feel bad about hiding from me. Marco doesn’t know the “ins and outs” of my agreement with Mami and papi”

Keith’s scent flared with rage, his hand gripping Lance’s harder, then loosening as Lance continued. Keith didn’t have happy family memories or experience with siblings. He had his own moral compass, one that was directed at anger towards his brother-in-law  
“He was mad that you bought so much stock...”  
“You were mad that I bought so much stock”  
“You went to bed and missed the delivery. I got in trouble”  
Cracking a smile, Lance went to swing his leg over his husband hip before remembering his stupid cast. At least it was waterproof... and it was a good thing he was still flexible  
“You? Noooo. I don’t believe it. What did you do?”  
“They asked for a name for the order... I put in “a couple of idiots”. The delivery guy had to say it... then I got scolded because they’re a serious business”  
Scrunching his face up with laughter, Lance would have paid GAC to see that  
“It’s not that funny...”  
There was a pout in Keith’s voice that only made it funnier. Lance wished his mood could always be this good, but it was only good because he was safely locked away with Keith in his safe place. The moment he walked out the door, Leandro would flare to life and he’d have to push everything aside to get things in order  
“It’s perfect”  
“You’re perfect”

Growling, Keith released his hand, his husband rolling him back and straddling his hips as his hands rubbed at his belly. Leaning down, Keith tried to kiss him, but Lance was still laughing. Sighing at him, his husband tried to scold but that only made him laugh harder. Feeling the rising pressure of needing to pee was what finally brought his fit of laughter back under control. Laying beneath Keith, Lance reached up to tuck his husband's hair behind his ears, only now noticing that his hair clip wasn’t there  
“Where’s your ring?”  
Feeling around his neck, Keith swore softly, leaning across to start pulling blankets and pillows up  
“They said I needed to get it fixed so I put it in the chain. It must have... Got it!”  
Pulling Annla’s hair clip out from under the edge of Lance’s pillow, his heart gave a particularly hard beat in relief. Keith hadn’t take it off intentionally  
“That was one heart attack I didn’t need this morning”  
Reaching up to run his fingers over the hair clip, he definitely didn’t want Keith to lose it. Not until he’d replaced it with a proper ring on his husband’s finger, and even then, he didn’t want to lose the memories of the night they wed  
“I think I have some wire, we can take a look at it after I’ve gone to the bathroom”  
“Bathroom?”  
Raising his eyebrow, Lance moved to shove Keith’s shoulder playfully  
“Not like that. Your babies are pushing on my bladder and I need to pee again”  
“I suppose I’m not helping sitting in your lap”  
“Yes and no. I get the full show of how sexy you are, but I really need to pee”  
“Go pee then. And when you get back, I’ll show you how sexy I am”

Returning from the bathroom, Keith has pushed the blankets back. He was laying on his side propped up like some subject of an old painting. He knew he was supposed to be taking this with a dash of seriousness, but the pillow covering Keith’s junk had a rather large dirty brown paw print on it. Their fur son had been getting into trouble again. Hobbling over, he climbed up next to Keith. Laying on his back, he tried to look as disinterested as possible, keeping his tone flat  
“Right. I’m ready for ravishing”  
Laughing at him, Keith moved in for a kiss, stopping at the last moment to mumble  
“You’re such a dork”  
“I’m your dork”  
“Are you now?”  
“Yep. Dork. Husband. Idiot. Stubborn arsehole. It’s just but one title”  
“There’s nothing stubborn about that arsehole of yours”  
Nope. He couldn’t take it seriously. Snorting with laughter, Keith dropped his forehead against Lance’s  
“Yeah. It sounded cooler in my head”  
“Let’s leave it there in the future”  
“I plan to. Is it ok?”  
“Babe. All you have to do is look at me and I’m horny. You don’t hurt me. If anything, you treat me better than I deserve. I want this with you”  
“Can I eat you out?”  
“I don’t know, can you?”  
Being the civilised lover that he was, he’d cleaned himself after peeing. He wanted to taste good for his husband...  
“That sounds like a challenge”  
“Maybe it was? Maybe I want to eat you out for a change?”  
Keith swallowed audibly. Lance internally smirking. He was still thrilled that he could turn Keith into a horny mess when no one else ever had  
“You’re fucking messing with me”  
“You’ll never know”  
“Just remember you fucking asked for it”  
“And I’m probably going to end up begging for it... I know. My arse is still throbbing from that dick of yours...”  
“You never shut up, do you?”  
“No...”  
“Good”

Keith seemed to love eating him out as much he loved fucking him. Mewing in pleasure as Keith’s tongue fucked him slowly, his husband was taking his revenge, using his fingers and tongue to bring him to the edge of release, then pulling off to mess around his opening with just the tip of his tongue until the feeling lessened. The heat in his belly was almost too much, but having come that far, he wanted to show Keith two could play this game of his. Gripping the sheets and pulling them higher, his voice trilled as Keith slid his fingers back in. He could feel Keith’s long nails as he rubbed against his sweet spot. His husband could do serious damage, yet he never would. It held a certain kind of thrill. Between his legs, his husband readjusted, pressing kisses to his spasming inner thighs, before nosing at the base of his dick  
“You smell so fucking good... You’re going to fuck my fingers while you fuck my mouth. I want to taste you on my tongue. Do you want that?”  
Lance let out a breathy “yes”. Keith’s lips sliding over the angry red tip of his erection, his husband moaning at the taste of precum as he sucked lightly. Rolling his hips, pleasure jolted through him. Starting almost earnestly, Lance lost himself beneath his husband, becoming more and more desperate as the heat in his belly grew. His orgasm finally hitting like a freight train to the face. Red sparks burst beneath his closed eyelids and a slurred spew of appreciation fell from his lips. Not literal vomit, but a whole jumble of praise for his husband. Reduced to a babbling mess, Keith shifted his legs further apart, lifting him higher up off the pillow beneath his hips, as his mouth slid off. Kneeling between his legs, Keith wrapped his good leg around his waist, his other supported as his husband sheathed himself without warning. Crying out in over sensitised pleasure and pain, Keith lasted moments at his bruisingly hard and frenzied pace before pulling out at the very last moment to come across Lance’s groin. Lowering his legs, his husband slumped next to him, one leg slightly angled, while he continued to come down Lance's hip. Daehra was going to be so disappointed, but without her having instincts like theirs, she couldn’t understand that they were both being driven by them. Sweaty and blissed out, Lance reached blindly for Keith’s hand, Keith taking it holding it firmly as he hid his face in Lance’s shoulder, activating “cuddly octopus mode”, and pressing kiss after kiss to the spot. Sweaty and exhausted, neither meant to drift off, yet they did.

*  
Woken by knocking on their door, Keith peeled himself off his husband. A slight blush on his cheeks when he realised they were both naked and covered in their own mess. He normally made a point of staying awake long enough to ensure Lance was cleaned up, yet, there his husband slept. Bare-breasted and exposed. Grabbing the closest blanket, he pulled it up to cover Lance to his shoulders, then grabbed a second blanket to wrap around himself, as he forced himself over to answer the door. Standing on the other side, Daehra sighed at his dishevelled state  
“Didn’t I tell you to contain your desires?”  
“I tried to say no?”  
Rolling her eyes, Daehra shook her head  
“I am not going there, though it would be nice if you did make an appearance. You’ve already overslept as it is. I brought you breakfast. And I’ve made a compound for Lance. It’s in his shake. All he’ll need to do is add water, so please make sure he drinks it first thing each morning”  
“That was fast. Not that I’m not appreciative. I’m sure he’d thank you, but he’s still sleeping”  
“You mean he fell back to sleep. That’s good. His body needed the rest, though I am wondering I should have separated you both, to begin with. Anyway, please eat and join us in the bar”  
Drawing the trolley in the hallway closer, there were two shakes, and a plate of fruits  
“You could do with a boost too. One each, and I want that plate cleared. As tempting as it may be, I would prefer you there sooner rather than later. Marco has... he’s frustrating”  
Right. Yeah. Marco was in a crap mood  
“Sorry, Daehra. I’ll get him up and dressed. And fed”  
“Thank you”

Marco must have really pissed off Daehra for her to be so curt. He didn’t think she’d be so cranky if it was only over him and Lance fooling around. Wheeling the tray over to their bed, he sat on the edge before kissing his way up Lance’s exposed arm and neck  
“Babe. It’s time to get up”  
“I heard. She sounded cranky”  
Groaning, Lance reached for him. Keith smiling as his husband wrapped his arm around him, pulling him down over him  
“Not sick of me yet?”  
“Nope. I don’t know if I can walk though”  
“Oh, so you need help in the shower?”  
“Maybe. Maybe not. I know that there’s no way I’m up for another round. You sucked all my energy out”  
“We’re getting old”  
“I don’t even know how old I am anymore... I’m turning 24, but I feel about a hundred”  
“Probably because we shagged a lot without eating. Here, Dae made us shakes. Drink that first, then take a shower”  
Lance snorted  
“You said “shagged” again. Cutting your hair short’s sent you back to the 80’s”  
“It’s not my fault. You’re dying my instincts crazy. It’s like I can’t calm down”  
“I know what you mean... but it’s nice you still feel horny when you look at me”  
Lance’s joke rubbed him slightly the wrong way  
“You know you’re so much more than sex to me, don’t you?”  
“I do. I just mean... my body is changing into something more feminine...”  
“It’s you I love. It helps that you’re hot as hell”  
“That’s enough arse kissing. Get up, I don’t want Daehra coming back in here and lecturing us for being late”  
“She scares me”  
“She scares you? She scares me. She threatened to send me to Altea if I didn’t let her put the cast on”  
“She threw my boots in the bin”  
Lance shook his head, wrinkling his nose and flicking Keith in the forehead. Dragging himself off his husband, he helped Lance sit  
“They probably had it coming”  
“She said my feet stink and putting them out the airlock was violating the human rights of the vacuum of space”  
“She’s fucking savage. But I didn’t think she’d go after stinky boots”  
“There was still bramble in the soul of them. The doctors didn’t miss anything, my dumb arse forgot to look at the damage”  
Lance groaned  
“I didn’t even think to check them again. I’m sorry. I should have. I mean, it went right through”  
“I didn’t think of it either. They’re gone now”  
“I still feel stupid. I took them off and didn’t think...”  
Lance was losing his spark as he berated himself undeservedly  
“Babe. It’s not your fault. They’re gone now. We’ve got Daehra to think of now”  
Lance ducked his head, mumbling “She is rather terrifying”. Keith couldn’t be prouder that his husband was trying so hard not let himself get caught in his head.

Reshowered, dressed, fed and holding hands, Lance was tugging him along as they made their way to the bar. Catching a glance of his husband slipping on an elastic bra, he wished he’d picked up something lacier... like the little white number Lance has worn for him at Christmas time. Dressed in a simple long sleeve shirt, and black pants that weren’t jeans, but also weren’t sweats, Keith was struggling with the temptation not to push him up against the closest wall and kiss the ever-living quiznak out of him. He looked good. He looked so much healthier from whatever Daehra had pumped into his system, plus the cut of his shirt showed the possessive trail of hickies he didn’t even remember sucking, declaring Lance well and truly off-limits. Though the usual knew as much. Coming to a stop, Lance turned back to him  
“Why are you walking so slow? Is something wrong? Do I not look ok-ish? I mean, I know I’m about to get to much shit... but I thought I looked ok?”  
“You were the one tugging me along. Daehra’s going to flip when she sees your not using your crutches”  
“She got the cast. My hips said no to the crutches. And that doesn’t tell me what you’re thinking”  
“I was thinking how pretty you are”  
Lance rolled his eyes at him  
“Right. Remember that when you’re training my brother on how to work the bar”  
“You’re going to have to train me first”  
“I’ve known you for years and you’re still yet to be trained. You just don’t want to do any real work”  
“Keep looking so pretty and neither of us will be getting to work”  
“You know. Just when I think I’m getting used to you, you throw me off balance by being even more cheesy. I remember a time when saying something like that would have left you a blushing mess. Then you would have scrunched your brow up, thrown in some vague words to cover your arse, and stomped off”  
“Shut up. You don’t need to be a dick about it”  
Lance clicked his fingers  
“Ha! There. See. That’s my husband. If you’re nervous, you don’t need to be”  
“Babe, you’re pregnant and you’re down a leg. I’m allowed to be all kinds of things right now. But I also know you. I know you’re strong. You’re going to need to be if anyone says anything. I can’t guarantee I’m not going to shoot them”  
“Can you wait until they’ve paid first? And not the knee. It quiznakking sucks. I know I’ve done my knee before, but this whole cast thing can kiss my arse”  
“When we get back to Daibazaal, you’re going straight into a pod”  
Morphing his pointing finger from when he’d clicked into a finger gun, Lance “shot” him in the chest  
“Given I’m married to a man, and bisexual, going straight be harder than you think”  
“For fuck’s sake. You know what I mean”  
“I do. I’m going to be taking a nice little nap as you’re panicking over receiving your award. I won’t even be able to help you get ready. No awards party. No explaining that I’m pregnant, not fat... Shiro’s probably going to be so busy with diplomacy that he won’t be able to help either. I’m going to have to ask Acxa to film it all... no, Krolia. She can film it all... If...”  
Lance didn’t do well with pods. Lance knew that he knew, yet his husband being the total shit he was, also knew that there was no way he could make it through the night without him. Two could play this game  
“I’m sure she will. She’ll probably even write my speech for me. It’s a huge night for Daibazaal, after all”  
“Then you’ll be fine without me”  
“Totally...”  
“Then maybe I should make you work the bar alone”  
Keith opened and closed his mouth, Lance taking the win  
“Exactly. It’s not like you actually have anything to fear. You’re like... cool by extension”  
Keith scoffed jokingly  
“Like you’re cool enough here for me to be cool by extension. No, no, no. See, you think you have all the power here, but we both know Daehra does”  
“You better the ambulance, because that one hurt. Hurry up, I’m not waiting for your snappy arse”  
Lance turned and started walking away from him, clearly in a huff. The outpost was his baby, and taking time off was hard enough. It was probably a much sorer topic than what Keith gave it credit for.

*  
Walking into the bar, Lance was greeted by the smiles of his regulars. His changing body immediately noticed  
“What’s this I see?”  
“Somebody forgot to use a condom”  
“Leandro’s going to be a mother! I wonder who’s the father”  
“Idiot. He’s married”  
“Hey, if you want another kid after this, I’ll show you right”  
“Dammit, Keith got in first”  
“Such a shame that fine arse is going to get wrecked”  
“Show us what’s under your shirt, love”  
Flipping off his regulars, Lance schooled his face. None of them meant any harm... despite what they were currently doing to his self conscious. This was his bar and he was the boss  
“Next person who says anything is picking up the tab for the night!”  
One of his regulars spluttered a raspberry at him  
“Bah! You’re the one who owes us a round. Your new boy’s been getting it wrong all night”  
Lance sighed. Marco would get it right eventually, but he needed to keep his customers if he wanted to keep on sending money home. Plus, twins weren’t exactly cheap. Then there was the slight issue that his brother’s training period was likely to result in them not respecting him. Lance had a reputation as Leandro. He’d been a reckless bad arse with a track record. Now he hadn’t hunted a bounty in phoebs. If Marco was going to survive, he needed protection a little room to breathe.

“Yo! Listen up! The new guy is Marco! He survived the enslavement of Earth and has his own battle scars! Anyone I find cheating him will have their ship scrapped and their arse dumped on the worst planet I can think of! This is your only warning! Free drinks for the next varga!”

Yelling out across the bar, everyone knew better than to ignore him. There were a few new faces, but there always was. Throwing a nod and wink in the direction of his favourites, Lance limped himself down to where Daehra and Marco were standing at the till  
“How’s it going?”  
Marco snubbed him. Which fucking stung. Daehra shaking her head as she picked up the holopad connected to the system  
“The balance is out and we don’t know where”  
“Are we over or under? And do sales match stock?”  
“It’s in accommodation. I think we have someone who’s overstayed, so I’m checking the system now”  
“Find out who and run the charges through. But only if they’ve passed two quintants”  
“Leandro, you know I know how to do my job”  
“I know Dae. I’d be useless without you. Is there anything I need to know?”  
“No. It has been mostly quiet here. Until you came back that is”  
“Aw, I missed you too. Group hug?”  
Wrapping his arms around Daehra, she patted his arm lightly  
“This is nice and all, but I do need to work this out”  
“I know you will. That’s what makes you my star”  
“If you know as much, please go back to Keith. He’s feeling particularly murderous”  
Lance forced a laugh  
“He’s good like that. Marco, you ready to tend again?”  
“Unlike you, I don’t shirk my responsibilities then turn up when I feel like it”  
“Oh dear, brother. I am not having this fight. Now when I’m back in my comfort zone”  
“Comfort zone? You’re the one hugging Daehra when she doesn’t want to be”  
“Jealous? She is adorable...”  
Lance knew he was probably pushing things too far with Daehra, but he was allowed to miss his team. He hadn’t fucked up and nearly got them all killed, not recently that was. Daehra sighed at them both  
“Stop teasing him. We both know you’re dying to get back to work”  
“You got me there. Fine, I’ll leave him with you. Keith and I have the bar. I’ll put Keith on trades if anything comes in”  
“Good”

Bar work was exhausting in all the right ways. Talking to his regulars was a whole lot of fun. Or as fun as they’d always been. None of them seemed to be repulsed by his pregnancy, curious if anything, yet the Alteans were well known for their shapeshifting abilities. Leading to an argument over whether or not he was human or Altean... then the point was made that it didn’t matter as long he could pour a beer. Slipping into his best facade, he flirted with his customers, reminded Keith he loved him, limped around his bar like the boss he was, sent those after a room down to Daehra who seemed to be tolerating teaching Marco that side of things. Yet, none of it was how he thought. He’d thought Marco would be... He thought he and his brother would be totally owning the space. Instead, it was him and him sending Keith off for everything that was beyond the bar. He knew it was taxing for his husband to watch him doing so much while pregnant and in a cast. It was his compromise. Naturally, he wanted to check every inch of the outpost over. It was his baby. His home. His happy place and he’d been gone for soooo long. Or at least it felt way longer than it had been... He hadn’t been showing, and now he was back with his very obvious belly. In the end, he only managed a couple of vargas behind the bar. His sleep schedule being so out of whack, and it wasn’t like Daehra had cured him magically of all the exhaustions that pregnancy brought with it... that and feeling like he’d orgasmed our every drop of semen his body had ever produced. On that side, he wished his hormones would settle down. He didn’t want to appear too slutty or anxious... He also didn’t want Keith thinking that he was thinking more with between his legs than his heart... but it was nice to take physical pleasure in his husband’s company while his brain wasn’t being stupid. Grabbing the holopad he left permanently under the bar, Lance let Keith tug him off for a nap.

Kosmo was waiting for them when they got back to their room. Their fur son had moved his bed up onto the middle of theirs, then buried himself under the blankets, his nose poking out one end, and his thumping tail out the other. Kosmo wouldn’t know “covert” if it snuck up and bit him on his arse. Happy to steal Keith’s side on account of his bed, Kosmo was all happy kisses as Lance climbed up next to him. The holopad smacking him in the face in Kosmo’s excitement. This was what he’d thought outpost life would be. Him, Keith and Kosmo, together. This what he hoped they could be once their twins were finally born.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who’s home again!!! Is me!!

Marco was clearly avoiding him. Leaving Keith sleeping, Lance had spent the last varga crying his eyes out. His morning sickness had sent him flying from their bed, miserable from throwing up into his stomach ached from the strain, everything had seemed to compound on top of his misery. They’d been there four outpost quintants, and he’d spent maybe a combination of 5 vargas with his brother. He’d tried his hardest to keep it from showing. Lucteal and Daehra were both annoyed with Marco for not talking to him, feeling like he was burdening his precious friends with his brother. It had to be hard for Marco to accept his pregnancy, but it wasn’t like it wasn’t hard for him too. He could feel his twins. The bubbly feeling he thought gas was their twins moving. Not that he didn’t have gas. And what he wouldn’t pay to take a crap... yet, he was the one going through this. Marco wasn’t going to “catch” his pregnancy like it was some kind of contagious disease. If his scent was the problem, he could explain that... if Marco gave him the opening that was. Paranoid it was, he’d started showering more often. The moment he could smell himself, he was excusing himself to scrub his skin raw. He didn’t want to burden Keith with something that clearly lay between him and his brother, nor did he want to call Mami and tell her that things weren’t working out. He knew Marco could do this. He knew that if Marco could get over himself for longer than 5 doboshes, he could carve out a good life for himself here. He’d be amazed by all the planets he’d see during supply runs. Daehra and Lucteal were competent enough to keep him safe, plus Marco knew how to work a blaster. Lance had intended to gift him his own blaster, comms and holopad. He’d wanted to talk Marco through how to navigate the galactic news, sector news and bounty related forums. There was so much he wanted to do with him. Out of all his family, he never thought Marco would be the most judgmental one over this pregnancy. Of course, he was. It was unnatural. He was unnatural. They still hadn’t put the nursery furniture together, despite Keith clearing out the near-empty storeroom next to their room. Kosmo had helped teleport everything in. Lance then realising they really needed a chest of drawers for the twins, rather than a wardrobe. His husband assuring him that was an easy fix, but there was too much in his head. The only time he felt happy was behind the bar or in bed with Keith and Kosmo, as Daibazaal loomed around the corner. He couldn’t ask Keith to let him stay. It was all so frustrating, so he was searching for his moment of clarity once his tears dried. Shiro may say that “patience yields focus”, but Lance was sure that “sometimes you just need to cry it out” was a just as valid approach to the problems of life. And that was his plan. A good hard cry, then getting out his holopad and putting things into motion. Namely faking some reason to corner Marco alone for a couple of vargas.

*  
Woken by Kosmo pawing at his chest, Keith groaned his annoyance. He and Lance had had another active night. The half-Galra was pretty sure he’d fallen asleep buried inside his husband, yet he couldn’t be sure as said husband wasn’t there. An annoying Kosmo was though. Seeing he was awake, Kosmo grabbed him the hand. Teeth digging into the flesh, but not deep enough to draw blood as he tugged  
“Ok. Ok. I’m getting up. Where’s Lance? Huh, where’s your other human?”  
Kosmo could only be acting this way because it involved Lance. Unfortunately, Keith’s brain was still on sleep mode, and due to the fact he was moving too slowly for Kosmo’s liking, he found himself teleported into the bathroom where Lance was sitting on the floor of the shower, his cast leg stretched out, with his other bent so he could rest his head against his knee  
“Babe?”  
Raising his head, Lance looked exhausted. His eyes were red-rimmed. Now thankful for the fact he was butt naked, Keith slipped into the shower, kneeling down in front of his husband  
“Hey, what’s wrong?”  
“Hormones...”  
Lance was crying his eyes out because of his hormones? His heart melted for his husband. Lance had been pretty scattered lately, but a huge part of that was Marco’s fault. As long as Marco hadn’t said anything, Keith was willing to let the two siblings work their shit out without his interference  
“Oh, babe. Were you sick again?”  
“Yeah... Sorry... sometimes you gotta cry it out”  
“As long as you’re not crying because you’re hiding things from me again”  
It was all over Lance’s face that he was. Marco coming to mind again. Again he was forced to remind himself that it was the pair of them needed to talk it out. Wiping his eyes, his husband sighed  
“I’m ok... You know how good I am over-stressing”  
“I do. Did you wash off, or do you want some help?”  
“Maybe a hand up? Sorry. My head’s a bit off a mess. I thought I could cry it out before you got up”  
“Babe. You know you can talk to me. You don’t need to hide this”  
“I know. But I need to work this out myself. How did you know I was in here?”  
“Kosmo. He woke me up”  
Lance snorted wetly, grimacing as he wiped away his snot  
“He’s a menace. I know you want to help, but I’ve got to do this myself”  
“You mean you need to talk to Marco”  
“Yeah. That too. Please don’t pick a fight with him”  
“I’m not going to. As tempting as it is to smack your heads together, I know you two need to work it out together”

Reaching out for him, Keith pulled his husband up. Not caring about Lance snotty face, he stole a kiss. Lance braving a smile  
“Thank you for letting me handle this”  
“Babe, I have every faith in what you can handle”  
“That makes one of us. Do you want me to wash your back?”  
“Only if you want to”  
“Mmm. I’ve cried it out... and now I’m going to talk to Marco after this. I thought everything would be different. I might take him on a trip out to Thatus... you know, teach him how to fly the Telula”  
Keith was allowed to fly the Telula... but Lance liked to hover like he didn’t trust him not to crash her  
“You love the Telula”  
“I love Marco, too. I don’t want my girl sitting around not being used. She’s too good for that, but I can’t bring her to Daibazaal, I won’t get to fly her. Besides, Lucteal usually pilots. Marco just needs to know what everything is. You’ll probably need to keep Kosmo close to you. I don’t want him attacking him like he did Curtis. If worst comes to worst I’ll fake engine troubles... He won’t know”  
“Do you need a trusty back up pilot?”  
“Ugh. Don’t tempt me. If you come, I’m probably going to chicken out. I’ll take my comms though. Turn around. I’ve got to make the most of this before I get any fatter. Did you hear the way they were talking about your dick last night? Twins aren’t that uncommon that you’ve got some kind of mythical sperm”  
Keith hadn’t heard that conversation at all, turning his back to his husband, Keith sighed in happiness as his husband's hands moved to his shoulders. Lance was skilled at massage, Keith considering himself exceptionally lucky his husband enjoyed this as much as he did  
“You do say I have a monster dick. You even told Shiro that I have monster dick”  
“No, I didn’t”  
“Yep. You did. You were mostly asleep. Told him all about how I destroyed your arse”  
“If I don’t remember it, it didn’t happen. Besides, you do. You get all “ribby” and stuck up there... fucking feels amazing. Don’t go thinking we’re having sex in the shower, my stomach’s too tender for that”  
“Tender?”

Was tender good? Or tender bad? When was tender ever good? Maybe if his husband was a piece of meat... but tender wasn’t good while pregnant, was it? Was more than morning sickness tender? Had Lance hit his stomach on something when he wasn’t paying attention? There’d been dozens of customers through, did someone slip him something? Was it the sex hurting his husband? He could stop. He didn’t want Lance hurt... that’s why he always tried to contain himself until Lance was stretched  
“Shhh, babe. You’re panicking. I threw up way too much... so I’m feeling tender from that. You don’t need to panic”  
“If the shakes...”  
“Daehra’s shakes are fine. They don’t make morning sickness quiznak off for good. I still get nauseous. I still throw up. I’m still tired and cranky. It comes with being knocked up”  
“You’re not making it sound very appealing”  
“It’s... hard... and weird. Like... do you remember what it was like when you found out you were part Galra? Like you thought it made you something less than what you are? I guess it’s kind of like that. Only, I’m growing people inside and you’re going to be an amazing father”  
Keith shook his head  
“Sorry, babe. I want to get it. You know I want to get it, but I can’t see that. All I see when I look at you is the man I love”  
“Don’t you ever get sick of saying that?”  
“Nope. I’ll tell you a hundred times a day for the rest of our lives if that’s what it’ll work for you to believe me”  
“A hundred times might be a bit excessive. 99?”  
“Ooooh. I don’t... that seems a bit low to me”  
Slipping his hands down and around Keith’s waist, Lance’s belly rubbed against the curve of his back as Lance nuzzled between his shoulder blades  
“I really love you. I didn’t think I’d be... like this... or be able to trust someone like you... and... I love you. I know I get into moods... and it isn’t fair on you... don’t give up me. Not when I want to be better”  
“You’re not the only one who gets into moods or flunks, babe. We’re both as bad as each other”  
“You’re not the one crying his eyes out”  
“No. I’m the one secretly reminding myself that stabbing things I don’t like isn’t always acceptable”  
“You’ve gotten better at not stabbing things”  
“And you’ve gotten better at lots of things too”  
“It doesn’t feel like it”  
“Touch. You didn’t want to be touched. You didn’t want to talk. You didn’t want your face or hair touched. You’d panic if we kissed because you didn’t seem to get that I quiznakking loved you, even though you needed time. You’re talking to me. Your nightmares aren’t as bad. And you haven’t had a panic attack like the ones you used to have. You manned up and went right back to working the bar, despite being worried about people’s judgements. You kicked your bad habits through hard work and perseverance. You ran this place for several phoebs. You are so much more than you know”  
“What about you? You’re the prince of Daibazaal. You’re training the next generation of Blades while looking after your husband... And all the work Krolia kept giving you...”  
“None of it means anything if I don’t have you to back me up”  
“It means a hell of a lot to everyone you help”

Turning around in Lance’s arms, Keith hid his face in the curve of Lance’s neck. He loved this man. Even when he was mad. He loved him. Even when Lance had pushed him to edge of sanity, he loved him. Even when he was sick to death of being asked how his husband was, when he needed someone to be there for him, he loved him  
“For your birthday next month, I know you didn’t want to do anything, but do you think maybe you’d want to go to dinner with me? It doesn’t have to be fancy. We don’t have to get all dressed up... We can go to some dodgy cafe and order things we don’t even know how to say. I won’t make a fuss... but I want to do... I want to go on more dates with you”  
“You want to go on a date for my birthday?”  
“Yeah. Only if you want to. I can make it a surprise thing, if you want? A surprise, not-surprise date?”  
“Keith... I don’t want to make a fuss, but a date night sounds nice. You’re all I want for my birthday”  
“Ok... I’ll make a booking... no. I’ll find some places first... then we can make a booking if we need to”  
“That sounds perfect. Now, if you want your back washed, you need to turn back around. You’re getting between me and my girl”  
“Yes, sir”  
“I’ll give you “yes, sir”. I’ll “yes, sir” all of your arse if you keep this up”  
“Oh? Promise?”  
“Fucking pervert. You’re doing me a favour for that”  
“Then you’ll “yes, sir” all over my arse?”  
Why in the name of Dios and all things holy, had he married Keith again? He couldn’t win.

*  
Marco was in the bar as Lance predicted he would be. Despite averaging 8 hours sleep each night cycle, he’d taken to napping between tasks for a varga or two just to make his exhaustion manageable, and to rest his anxieties so he didn’t end up crying due to paranoia. Knowing Keith would explain to Lucteal and Daehra, Lance made a show of checking out the drink fridges beneath the bar and humming. Marco wouldn’t know he didn’t buy alcohol from Thatus, not that Lance was actually going to Thatus only along his usual route, but again, Marco didn’t know that... If they managed to talk things out within the first half varga or so of the trip, then he’d take Marco out to meet Yule. If not, then Keith was getting a phone call. 

Standing up straight, Lance gave a small wave to the few hunters sitting near the bounty board, Lance limped over to his brother  
“Hey, Marco. I need a set of hands on a supply run. Keith’s gonna watch the bar, so you’re up. I figured you need a crash course in my girl seeing you’ll be going on supply runs with Lucteal”  
“Oh. What? I’m supposed to be helping... Lucteal...”  
Hearing his name, Lucteal poked his head out of the trade door  
“Did I hear my name?”  
“Lance...”  
“Sorry, Electric, I need to borrow Mars. He says he’s supposed to be helping you”  
Lucteal shook his head. He didn’t mention Lance new call name for Marco. Looking up his brother’s name said it derived from Mars. “Mars” and “Meteorite”, his two idiot family members  
“No. Not that I know of... Go ahead and take him”  
“Thanks, man. Keith’s going to help in the bar while we’re gone. Quick trip over to Thatus for beer”  
Throwing in a wink, as Marco was too busy shooting daggers at Lucteal to notice, Lucteal understood well enough that Lance was finally having that much-needed talk with his brother  
“I should stay here... I’m getting the hand of the bar...”

“And your little brother is pregnant, with a cast on his leg. In my family, we would kill you for such shame”  
Raising her beer lazily, Lance was backed up by an unknown traveller. Well, he probably knew him, but his mind was on Marco. Marco shot a reproachful look towards the woman. Taking Marco by the shoulders, he hobbled around his brother and started pushing him towards the door  
“Alright. That’s our queue to leave. Mark Mars and Leandro off base”  
Lucteal gave a wave. Zero sympathies for Marco. His brother’s issue might be with him, yet, he was causing Daehra and Lucteal to suffer and he wasn’t having that.

Marco spluttered initially over how he shouldn’t leave, before finally falling quiet once he’d shaken Lance’s hands off him. Lance was torn between feeling giddy to be back in his precious girl, the desire to leave Marco back at the outpost so he could enjoy some alone time with her, and the fact he had to sort this out whether he liked it or not. Placing his hand on the pad, the stairs to the bridge appeared, Marco forced to jump out the way as he tried to his awe. Damn right. His girl was the best ship the Galaxy, and his heart. He might not have the telepathic link he had with Red or Blue, but she was right up there as his best girl  
“Come on. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get back”  
Marco nodded, following him up as Lance cursed his inability to bend his knee. Having it straight had provided infinite relief, but this part he hadn’t thought through. Making his way to the top, he made a “run” for the controls, sinking down into the pilot’s chair with a new pornographic moan of joy. He’d never ask Keith to give up his ship, but quiznak if he didn’t wish all their travel was via the Telula. Starting startup procedures, his girl purred to life under his hands, his stomach doing anxious flips as she ran through her diagnostics. Feeling the ship shudder as the engines engaged, Lance was reminded again that not everything in space sucked absolute quiznak. He didn’t have to be the absolute best pilot he knew when he was at the helm of his girl. Not that he’d say it, but by now he probably was the best pilot he knew. If only his old girl could talk... No, perhaps it was best she couldn’t. She’d need a lifetime of therapy to process everything she’d been through  
“Sit down and strap in”

Not really giving Marco the chance, the ground was long beneath them by the time his brother sat in the chair across from him. With his arms crossed, Marco looked as if he was trying to play it cool, but had left his stomach planet wise. Clam and pasty, he certainly seemed a whisker away from vomiting  
“There’s a trash can near the chart table if you need it”  
Marco didn’t move, so Lance teased him a little by jolting as they exited the atmosphere. The shield naturally protected his love from the nastiness of passing through the atmosphere either way. In his seat, Marco’s hands flew to grip the arms  
“Whoooops. Sorry about that. She’s usually sooooo much smoother. My bad. You’ll see when your supply runs with the team. Lucteal usually pilot’s, while Daehra commands. Zak is on tech support for big missions, but he’s set things up so he can help from the outpost now that we’ve mostly phased out of hunts. We still do rescue missions, supply drops, planet checks, and patient transfers. Sometimes we get a bounty passing through, so we catch and apprehend until transfer to the Erathus police is approved. If you go to Erathus, don’t say you’re my brother. They’ll probably charge you with anything they can. They're pissed as hell that Keith and I... well, let’s just say they don’t deal with embarrassment well. Also, if you’re hitchin’ a ride anywhere, make sure Daehra knows who you’re with. Just because they play nice in my bar, does not make you their friend. The moment they step out the front door, all bets are off. The only reason they don’t start shit in there is because no one wants the shame. And not everyone you meet is a hunter. We keep the prices dirt cheap because we’d rather people get from “a to b” in one piece. So most of our money comes in on the trade side... but you’ll learn that as you go. Lucteal and Daehra both know a fair price for most things, so they’ll teach you”

When Marco didn’t reply again, Lance’s stomach knotted so hard with anxiety he nearly threw up. Forcing himself to breathe through his nose, he kept the tendrils of rising panic from taking a grip in his chest. They were brothers. He was leaving again soon, so it wasn’t like Marco would actually have to babysit him. Not that he needed it. As loathe as he was to admit his own weaknesses, that job fell to Keith. This pregnancy was seriously messing with him. He was still struggling to have those moments he’d thought he’d have when the time came. The happiness as his stomach grew. The fluttering feeling of the twins moving. The obsessing over baby names. Thinking of decorating the nursery not as a chore. He... he kind of enjoyed watching the ultrasounds, yet that was twinged with the fact he felt less masculine. He was tired of vomiting. Tired of wondering if a seizure would hit and take Keith’s twins away from him... them. The last thing he needed was this animosity.

After half a varga of whatever this was, Lance had had enough. It was time to enact his plan. Jerking his ship like he was bunny-hopping a car, he cut the engines. Immediately his girl was bathed in blue light for the backup system as his poor girl was thrown into a state of “what the fuck is happening?”. Faking that he was going through the start-up procedures, he flicked off his trackers, shields and vented the airlocks, as he heard the stairs slip back into place and the door between them and him groan shut. Climbing from the pilot sleep, he limped over to Zak’s panel, leaning over and tapping at the side of the screen along the ridging where it met the dash. Marco couldn’t see he wasn’t doing anything. Throwing up his hands, he channelled his “razzle-dazzle” awesome acting skills as he limped back. A firm frown on his face, which he hoped wasn’t betrayed by his eyes.

“What did you do this time?”  
Ignoring the bite in Marco’s tone, Lance sighed, trying to sound a serious as he could  
“Engine issues. Zak and Lucteal must have been tinkering with them again. The last time they did that, we ended up stranded for two movements on Daehra and Lucteal’s home planet”  
“Can’t you start her again?”  
“Not right now...”  
“Lance!”  
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out”  
“Can’t you take anything seriously?!”  
“I don’t know, can you?”  
“Me!? I’m not the one who got us stuck out in the middle of nowhere!”  
“And yet, here we are”  
“You’re so frustrating!”

Climbing out his chair, Marco stalked away from him. That was fine. The angrier Marco was, the more likely he was to blurt out what his problem was  
“Fuck! What is this?!”  
Craning his head past the side of his chair, he felt himself smiling  
“The blast door. It won’t lift up until she boots up again”  
Marco wasn’t on the Telula’s systems. Even if he tried the hand reader by the door, nothing would happen  
“Then can’t you call someone? Keith has his ship”  
“I suppose I can call Keith”  
“Then do it already!”

Sucking in his lips as he tried not to laugh, Lance quickly turned away from Marco. Tapping on his comms, he video called his husband. Taking a few ticks, Keith rolled his eyes as he answered his comms  
“Did you forget something?”  
“We’re... krssssh... having... krsssssh... engine problems... krssssssssssh. Might take a few... krsssssh... vargas to get her up again... krsssh”  
On his side of the screen, Keith wore a huge smile as he bit his bottom lip, before playing along  
“I couldn’t hear that babe? You and Marco are staying out longer? Ok. I’ll see you went you get home”  
“No! We’re... krssssh... having... engine... problems”  
“Problems? No. No problems here. You take your time. I love you”  
Lance blew Keith a kiss before hanging up. His husband was perfect. He really couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime  
“Keith!? Keith... Quiznak. The call dropped”

Behind him, Marco stalked over, leaning back against the dash as he crossed his arms  
“There’s nothing wrong with the ship, is there?”  
Shaking his head, Lance leaned back in his seat  
“Nope”  
“Then start the thing up”  
“The thing?! Her name is Telula and she’s my girl. I refuse to start her until you start talking”  
“Lance, I’m not playing around”  
Snapping, Lance glared at his brother. His voice was icy calm, not yelling as he unleashed  
“I’m not playing around either. You clearly hate being anywhere near me, and I want to know what the fuck I’ve done wrong. Is it because I’m pregnant? Are you so disgusted that your little brother is pregnant that you’d rather I launch myself out the first available airlock!? Is that it?! Because I am still me, Marco. I’m still your little brother. I didn’t ask to end up like this. I didn’t choose this for myself. You have absolutely no idea what it’s like, so grow some fucking balls and tell me what’s going on with you!”  
“Me?! What the fuck? You’re the one with the issues”  
“How am I the one with the issues!? I was excited to show you around here! I thought maybe it’d be fun to work with my fucking brother. But all you care about is yourself”  
“You’re the one who only cares about yourself!”  
Lance growled. His hands going to his stomach  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“It means you have all of this, and you’re still not happy!”  
“All of this!? I built all of this from the fucking ground up! None of it was handed to me, Marco”  
“Because being an ex-Paladin doesn’t give you special attention”  
“Only the wrong kind!”  
“Bullshit! Admit it, you’d be happier if we weren’t family! You don’t call. You don’t visit. Then you’re back, and pregnant. Acting like your God’s gift to our family! Do you know the farm is struggling?! Do you even care? No. You don’t. You’re too busy doing whatever you wanted while we were stuck there. Don’t you think we had our own dreams!?”  
“I had my own dreams too! Being a paladin wasn’t all fun! People died Marco. People died because we disappeared. People died because we didn’t get to them in time! The Galra came to Earth because we weren’t good enough! I’ve killed people Marco. You wanna know how easy it is to slit someone’s throat? You want to know the look on their face as their life slips away!? Or do you know what it’s like to be tortured? Or do you want to know what it’s like to be a male all your life only end up pregnant? To be some kind of fucking freak!? Do you want to know about that? This outpost is my dream! It’s what allows me to send Mami and Papi money every week. It’s what allows me to make life better for them! And I have to walk away from it again!”  
“Only you can’t walk, because you put yourself in danger again”

With far more grace than thought possible, Lance threw himself up from his seat, slapping his brother across the face  
“Don’t you dare put that on me. You don’t know the details of the mission. Krolia had no idea she was sending us into danger! Mudslides fucking happen. We were stuck in a fucking mudslide. I wasn’t out looking for trouble. Do you think I wanted to call Mami up and upset her? Do you think I wanted to be in the position where she had to drop everything and come to me?! Keith nearly died. Acxa nearly died. My twins were sick! This isn’t a game Marco. Space is scary and if you don’t get your shit together, you’ll end up dead”  
“You still went out in the field!”  
“Because I was working as a training organiser! Not hands on. Keith and I nearly got divorced because we didn’t see each other often. Me going with him was because we were trying to fix our marriage!”  
“You could have died! You have all of this, and you... Dios, Lance. Why can’t you take better care of yourself!? Veronica called Mami up in tears. She says your sick. You have seizures and you’re pregnant. What the hell is going on with you! And why aren’t you acting like... why do you always have to... I’m sick of you not valuing yourself! You walk around your outpost like nothing can hurt you. You have all of this. You have Keith and you’re having twins, apparently, but when’s it going to be enough? When we get a call saying you’re dead? How can you keep being so selfish!?”

Marco was crying. Marco was crying?! Was he crying for him?

Lance’s anger and annoyance melted. His expression softening as he stared at his older brother  
“Marco... Are you worried about me?”  
“I’m sick of not knowing what’s going on... None of us knows anything more than what you tell us... but you don’t seem to care”  
“It’s not that I don’t care. But I’m 23 Marco. There are some things I can’t talk about. Somethings that would only hurt Mami and papi to hear. Somethings I can’t even talk to Keith about. We’ve both accepted the risks that come with our job. This... this accident. It isn’t something that we could have planned for. It’s not every day that rain makes plant life come to life that’s toxic to Galra. I’ve eased of hunting, and I’m staying with Keith because he’s my husband. I’m helping him train the next lot of Blade members. Daibazaal has medical resources, though Daehra is better... And Keith has been working so hard...”  
“That doesn’t tell me! I still don’t know what’s wrong with you! What am I supposed to do if you have a seizure? What am I supposed to do if you collapsed right now? I don’t know how to do anything around here. I don’t know how to fly a ship”  
Marco gestured around the space, Lance sighing. His brother was an idiot, or at least Daehra would say as much.

“That’s what I wanted to teach you. I wanted to show you everything you needed to know, but you’ve been running away from me since we arrived. You want to know what’s wrong with me? I’m pregnant with twins. Keith is the father. I’ve torn my knee and ignored my brace because it was annoying as hell. Rachel may have worsened it when she sat on it, but Daehra has it in this lightweight cast, which is way better than it was. Keith had an infected foot from not checking his boot. He got contaminated plant matter back in the wound. I have seizures because I have permanent brain damage from being tortured. It causes the seizures. I have PTS. Memory issues. I’m unable to process time most of the time. I get confused. I can’t control my moods like I used to. Allura changed my body with her magic when she died and she made me into this. I lost my finger and nearly lost Keith over the main reason Keith is receiving an award in a movements time from the coalition. Krolia is pregnant, due in two phoebs or so. I don’t like being touched suddenly. I don’t like having my face and hair touched by anyone other than Keith. I don’t like showing anyone other than Keith my body. I constantly feel revolted by my body. I’ve got morning sickness so messed up that I’m not putting any weight on. Keith’s stressing like mad over me, am I’m sick of it. And my brother fucking hates me because I don’t want to dump all this on him. After all, I love him and don’t want him to worry, when he can’t do anything to make things better. I don’t want people worrying and fussing. I don’t want people to keep treating me like I’m fragile... or something not me. Even if I’m trapped in this body, I’m still me. I want to be normal. I haven’t felt normal in so long...”

Holding his belly, Lance sank back down in his seat. His natural instinct was to curl up and wrap his arms around his knees, but with his current condition, that was out of the question. Crouching down in front of him, Marco placed his hands on his good knee. Sniffling, he couldn’t stop his tears, even if he’d wanted to  
“You’re not normal. You’ve never been normal. But you are my little brother... my annoying, pain in the arse, little brother. I’m supposed to be the one with his life together. I’m supposed to be the one you can lean on and come to. But you have all of this and what do I have?”  
“You idiot. All I want is my brother. I don’t care what you think you don’t have... you’re... you’re my brother, Marco”  
“You don’t care, but I do. Is this why you were drinking so much when you came back home? Why you didn’t want to go back into space or have anything to do with the garrison?”  
“I didn’t know what she’d done, to begin with... all I knew was that I wanted her back and the pain wouldn’t go away... no matter what I did. I loved her and I loved Keith, but it felt like I was cheating on her... and she... she left me. She didn’t love me as I loved her. I hated having these stupid marks. Rachel and I kept fighting. Nothing was getting better and then it got even worse. And now I’m this...”  
“You’re still my little brother”  
“I’m pregnant”  
“I can see that. Have you told Veronica?”  
Lance shook his head  
“Can you imagine? She’s going to be so angry”  
“Do you want me to? You can’t hide it anymore”  
“I know. I know, but she... She keeps acting like she’s Mami. She forced me to admit to my seizures in front of everyone. I didn’t have the choice to tell them myself, because she made a huge deal of it. Plus, Keith... he hasn’t been able to tell anyone about it”  
“You haven’t told Shiro?”  
Lance nodded as he wiped at his face  
“Do you remember that photo that went around? Of him carrying me on Altea. He came to my first scan because Keith was on a mission. I collapsed. He knows... and Coran. Daehra, Lucteal, and Annla know because of their powers. Zak probably knows... Mami and Papi know. Krolia knows... but it’s so fucking hard Marco. They all watch what they say and do around me... Then you started avoiding me... I’m not strong enough to go through that again. I want Keith by my side when we tell them... Because I’m too scared to do it alone. Can you imagine Rachel? Or Luis?”  
“Rachel’s going to give you shit”  
“I know. It’s not normal”  
“Space has turned normal on its head, baby bro. Can I see?”  
“What?”  
“Your stomach. I’m going to be an uncle again”

Lance didn’t want to show his brother, but Marco was finally talking to him again. Shyly, he pulled the fabric of his shirt up just a little bit  
“It’s revolting”  
“Nah. My nieces or nephews are in there. Marco’s a good name, you know”  
“We don’t know the sex yet... but they’re ok. Daehra said they were ok”  
Slipping his shirt back down, he was waiting for his brother to recoil or something now that he’d seen his stomach. Instead, Marco smiled as he stood  
“Good. What are you going to do? How do you... you know...?”  
“C-section. We haven’t decided but probably on Altea. We’re going to raise them at the outpost before coming back to Earth. Keith wants to raise them there”  
“Mami will love that. Is Keith excited?”  
“Scared. He didn’t have a good childhood. He’s handling it better than I am”  
“You’re the one carrying them. Do you have pictures?”  
“And video... Keith was so excited to see the scan... Why aren’t you... why do you care? Why don’t you still hate me?”  
“I never hated you. I was angry at you for getting hurt while pregnant... and I couldn’t believe it. You’re my brother and you’re pregnant. My head is still trying to process it”  
Marco’s point was valid... unfortunately  
“How do you think I felt? My marriage was falling apart. Things were crazy and then I’m suddenly pregnant. It’s like some bad story. Whoever’s writing my life needs to ease up on me”  
“Your write your own life, hermanito. Now, tell me about what Keith did. Do I need to hurt him?”  
Lance shook his head, letting out a weird kind of laugh  
“He could bench press your twig arse. It was work. My work and his. The outpost moves faster than normal time. So for him it was five phoebs and seven for me... we’d barely seen each other and now we’re always together and we have to learn how to be together again... He’s going to have less work soon. We talked to mum Krolia about it. She didn’t realise how much work Keith had to keep up with. She was so proud of him, that she kept giving him more and more work, because she trusted that he could get it done. We’d only spent maybe two movements of time together since leaving Earth because he was always getting called back to work”  
“So I need to hit Krolia?”  
“You can’t hurt a pregnant woman! She’s more deadly than Keith is... She’s completely and totally badarse”

Marco tilted his head. His brother had met and talked to Krolia, and now he was acting like he hadn’t thought Keith’s mum was hot as hell, or even met her for that matter  
“Mami was saying she was wonderful”  
“Probably because she and Mami are schemers... They can’t resist mothering everyone. Krolia knows I’m pregnant but she hasn’t said anything... Keith’s kind of upset he wasn’t able to tell her face to face... We’re holding off telling everyone else until we’ve talked to her”  
“Are you going to tell Rachel and Veronica then? When you tell Hunk and Pidge?”  
“I’m trying not to think of it. If... if we’re talking again, do you maybe wanna learn how to fly? I had Keith bring some things onboard for you... I have a comms for you, that links to the work network. A new holopad and a blaster for you too... Lucteal will teach you hand to hand. He was raised as a warrior, sort of. It’s complicated, but he’s trustworthy. Daehra will teach you all you need to know about first aid. Don’t ask Zak about tech unless you want to be confused as quiznak. If you could help Tobias in the kitchen, that’d be a huge help... I don’t want to go back to Daibazaal, but Keith is terrible at public appearances”  
“Are you going to write his speech?”  
“I was thinking about it. He says he’s not great with words”  
“He’s not. We watched that broadcast from Altea. Hermanito looked like constipated”  
Marco scrunched up his face, pointing at his wrinkled brow. Snorting out a laugh, Marco had it right. His husband floundered at public speaking  
“We were fighting, and he was hungover”  
“Fighting?”  
“Yeah. I don’t want to talk about that. It’s... still tender”  
“Another man?”  
Lance cringed at Marco hit the bullseye he hasn’t even been searching for  
“I’m going to fucking kill him”  
“No. No. You don’t need to kill, Keith... but the other guy... I think he’s into Keith, but Keith isn’t interested in him... he’s really hot though... I mean, Keith’s gay. And I’m... like this... I wouldn’t blame him if he left me”  
“There’s a lot wrong with you, but Keith seems to like you how you are. Am I going to see this gilipollas?”  
“Probably not. He’s a blade recruit and Keith’s friend. Keith... doesn’t open up to everyone. He says that if he was flirting, he didn’t mean it or know he was. His social skills are amazingly better than they were”  
“They’d have to be, to be married to you”  
“Ouch”  
“I’m kidding. I’m trying you know, to get used to all this... but I don’t know about flying a ship”  
“She’s got shields, so unless something goes horrifically wrong, we’ll be fine. Let me fire her back up, then you can pilot for a bit. I need a nap”  
Marco paled  
“You can’t leave me at the helm by myself!”  
“The best way to learn is to do... You’ll get it”

*  
Marco didn’t get it. Leaving his brother flying a nice flat course with no meteorites or space junk to care about, all Marco had to do was follow the dotted line out to Thatus... His ship was on assisted auto-pilot so she’d keep her course, yet allowed for basic manoeuvring. Lance woke to the alarms blaring and weightlessness. Marco was letting out a string of Spanish that’d earn him a beating from Mami’s slipper. They were lucky to have air... but not so lucky that his stomach would forgive Marco for what was happening. Pinching his nose and covering his mouth, he unbuckled the seatbelt, flying up in a tick  
“Lance! What’s going on!?”  
Shaking his head, his throat was burning as he tried to swallow down the bile in his throat. Marco had to have pushed something... In his panic, he’d forgotten that his comms were linked to his girl. Floating above his brother, he pointed to his leg. Marco not understanding as he gripped the controls tightly. Opening his mouth, managed to croak out “leg”, before throwing up. Marco grabbing his boot and pulling him down into his lap, the Telula started to nose dive. Marco wrapping his arms around him, as Lance’s stomach rolled again. Fuck. This side trip of their “little brotherly adventure” was never ever getting out. There hadn’t been this much vomit in the cockpit since the early days of Hunk being a paladin. Feeling his girl shudder, he grabbed the controls, pulling back as hard as he could as Marco hid his face against his shoulder, his brother a glorified seatbelt as Lance fought against the drag. The seat really wasn’t built for two people when one looked like he’d swallowed a watermelon. Bringing his legs up, he planted them against the dash, letting out a feral kind of groan as he moved one hand between the two control rods, to pull against the whole steering assembly, his fingers fighting to reach as he flipped the switch on the engines. 

Thrown into blue light, the ship's systems cut. His girl still in a downward dive, but a reboot would fix that... He just had to reach the damn switches... where his stupid stomach was getting in the way... his fingertips slipping over the levers, before finally making contact. Smacking the small row downwards, Lance started counting. His girl would shut down completely once the charge left her engines, with the excess power kicked back to the batteries... unfortunately for Marco, that took another 30 ticks... aaaaand, Dios... he’d thrown up again, hacking like a cat throwing up a furball. For Marco sake, he couldn’t let his panic show... but this couldn’t be good for his babies... He’d have to ask Daehra for a scan... 

It was a long 30 ticks, his hand waving stupidly as he thumped at the control panel with his fingertips. Hitting the boot level, a wild smack caught the rest as Marco nearly let him go. With the best whirl in the world, the lights flickered to life, whatever Marco had done was cancelled out by the reboot, as his girl finally started levelling and vomit dripped down her windshield, but that could wait until he felt human again. Getting her level, he slumped back against his brother, a groan escaping his lips as his hands went to his belly  
“Lance?”  
“Bathroom...”  
“I don’t know where that is!”  
Marco was still in panic mode, Lance’s legs like jelly as he climbed from his lap, grasping the pilots' chair to prevent himself toppling over. Unclipping his belt Marco wrapped his arm around his waist, Lance mortified as he lost the battle with needing to pee that he didn’t know he was fighting. Not saying a word over his accident, Marco held him close  
“I’m so sorry. I have no idea what happened. I was messing with the controls and then everything started going wrong and... Does this happen a lot? Please don’t tell me this happens a lot. I don’t know you fixed things but you saved our lives”  
“Marco. It’s ok. Trust me when I say, I’ve done worse. Much worse. I just need help right now”  
“It’s not ok!”  
“From me, the best pilot I know, it’s ok. She’s ok. We’re a little shaken, but ok. Dios. I think I left my stomach back on the floor. This is as bad as when Kosmo teleports me”  
“I didn’t mean to... Mami is going to kill me”  
“Calm down. Mami doesn’t need to know. I feel too quiznakking gross to fight with you right now. Telula’s been rebooted. She’s my girl. Have some faith in her”  
“She tried to kill us!”  
“Marco. This was a little blip. No one pilots like a natural unless they’re Keith. I couldn’t tell you how many times Hunk’s thrown up before, but I can tell it’s more that you’ve gotten laid”  
Shuffling forward, Marco was still hesitant. There were dozens of stories he could tell his brother over his misadventures, yet some things were best left unsaid... especially seeing he’d been on drugs at the time.

*  
Showered, teeth brushed, changed, with their washing on and Marco cleaning the dash, Lance was running the Telula on manual. Whatever Marco had accidentally done, Lance didn’t want to risk a repeat by flicking her over to autopilot. Watching as Marco hummed and sway as he wiped, his arse didn’t fill out Keith’s jeans the way Keith did. His brother hadn’t even complained as he helped out his shirt, running the shower then hovering awkwardly with his back to him. Insisting he be there in case Lance tripped. He may be exhausted, a little tender and whole lot prepared to never talk about this again, but he most certainly wasn’t about to trip over his own feet getting out the shower. Proving his point, he limped down to his and Keith bedroom, found clothes, got himself dressed the best he could, grabbed clothes for Marco and limped back... to an eyeful of Marco’s god awful junk. Screaming out something unintelligible, he threw Keith’s clothes at his brother and slammed his hand on the door pad. Seeing his brother’s junk was as equally humiliating as throwing up all over the bridge. His brother shaved and he didn’t need to ever, ever know that. It was akin to knowing that Kolivan was a screamer... again, information that should have died in the collective vacuum of space.

Piloting back was a very long varga and a half. Landing in his self assigned spot by the outpost, Lance was happy to be home. He might not have shown Marco how to work his new comms, but he did have his brother back on his side, which was the most important goal of the day. Looping his arm around him, Lance let Marco take most of his weight, yawning widely as they “drunkenly” made their way from the bridged, his legs protesting walking when he was so tired. Meeting them by the service door, Lance reached for Keith. His husband more than happy to wrap his arms around him  
“Are you alright? Is everything ok?”  
Nodding, Lance let Keith’s scent filled his nose. The remaining tension draining from him with each passing tick  
“Yeah. We’re all good. Just sleepy”  
“Daehra said she got a distress signal”  
Yawning, Lance nodded  
“Teaching Marco the systems. Everything’s cool. Thanks for the trip, Marco”  
“It’s alright, little hermanito. I don’t think I’m pilot material. Not like you. Go take a nap, I know I’m going to”  
Laughing softly at his brother, he knew Keith was still feeling antsy from the distress signal. He may not be able to smell it in Keith’s scent, but he could feel it in the way he held him  
“Sounds good. Let’s have dinner tonight. We can... go through outpost stuff together”  
“I’ll cook”  
“Ugh. I’ve already thrown up today”  
Peeking at his brother from Keith’s hold, Marco flipped him off  
“I haven’t killed you yet. When you were a kid, you loved my cooking”  
“Then I grew up and learned what everything was supposed to be. Hey, don’t worry about today. Pregnancy makes me sleepy”  
“I’m still going to worry about you”  
“It’s fine. Going for a nap with my sexy husband now”  
“You can have him”  
“Don’t be like that. Keith’s the best man I know”  
“Oh, so we survive and suddenly I’m cast aside. I see how it is”  
“Yep. I’ve seen your junk and it does nothing for me”  
“You threw up on me!”  
“I’m pregnant. I’m not to blame. Besides, haven’t I paid enough? I look ridiculous”  
His belly didn’t fit under Keith’s shirt... so he had one of Keith’s jackets on backwards to cover himself.  
“You do look stupid. Mami would refuse to be seen in public with you like that”  
“I’d refuse to be seen in public with me like this”

Kissing his hair, Keith ran his hands down Lance’s back then back up, sending a shiver up Lance’s spine  
“I wouldn’t mind being seen with you”  
“That’s because you have horrendous taste. Seriously, I don’t know what you see in me”  
“In, on, innnn... there’s a lot that’s appealing”  
Lance blushed lightly. After his adventure today, he totally deserved a blow job, but was far too tired to cash in on it  
“I’m done with both of you”  
Throwing his hands up in disgust, Marco was out, stalking off to leave the two lovers standing alone. Kissing his hair again, Keith waited Marco’s steps had vanished  
“Did it go well?”  
“We had a bonding moment... He was mad that I put myself in danger while pregnant. And he’s kind of feeling insecure seeing how big this place is, but it’ll be fine. We’re good, now please, I want to go sleeeeeep”  
“As long as you’re ok”  
“I am. These two are too. Might get Daehra to give me a scan later”

Gone was the gentle caress on his back as Keith grabbed his shoulders, Lance flinching  
“Are you in pain? If you need a scan, we should go now. I’m calling Daehra”  
“I’m ok...”  
“You said you needed a scan. Something happened, didn’t it? Dammit, I should have been there”  
“Keith”  
“No. We’re going to the medbay. I’m not messing with your health. You wouldn’t ask for a scan if you didn’t think something was wrong”  
“I was going to ask for a scan because I knew you’d worry... and... and Marco hasn’t seen them”  
It was kind of true, but mostly a lie for the sake of his husband. Keith couldn’t have predicted that Marco would nearly kill them. He couldn’t have predicted that Marco would nearly kill them. He was ok-ish. Too sleepy to deal with much of anything, let alone a panicked Keith  
“Lance...”  
“I’m ok. Really. It was a bit bumpy, that’s why I threw up and we had to get changed. My clothes wouldn’t fit him... or me for that matter, now please, I’m begging you, can we go to bed? You have me scanned as soon as I wake up”  
“Promise?”  
“I promise. I just want to cuddle my husband”  
“If it wasn’t for this stupid cast, I’d sweep you off your feet”  
“You don’t even need to pick me up, to sweep me off my feet”  
Shooting Keith finger guns, Keith groaned  
“You can’t be that bad if you’re still able to make stupid jokes”  
“That’s because I’m fine. I’m going to leave you here if you don’t start moving”  
“Alright, alright. Fine. Just don’t bite me”

Turning, Keith started down the hall, Lance taking two large steps to catch up  
“What do you mean as long as I don’t bite you?”  
“It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve bitten me when you’re sleepy”  
“I never bit you”  
“Just like you never told Shiro we shagged, or that I have a monster dick”  
“That’s because I didn’t!”  
“Riiiiight”  
Picking his pace up, his husband left him behind  
“Keith! Stop. Wait, I can’t keep up with you when you’re stalking off like this!”  
“Then you better catch up, or I’m going to bed without you”  
Who did he think he was? His husband’s stupid mullet taunting him as he started limping again. Keith might have become more grizzled, but he was still a dick under all of it.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gargh! I’m sorry for disappearing. I came back from holidays and had to rejoin the real world

u

Leaving the outpost again was harder than it was the first time. Krolia opened a wormhole for them, Lance keeping his crossed arms and bad mood to himself. His mother-in-law looked radiant, her smile wide and almost carefree... whereas Lance had spent the morning throwing up. He missed his feet. He missed his knees. He missed everything beneath his stomach, and the need not to pee a tablespoon at a time. The Cuban felt as if he was dying slowly. He had zero energy. His skin was itchy and the bloating... the bloating and the gas... Thank quiznak Kosmo was there to blame. Seeing how happy Krolia was, he was well aware of his petty jealousy. He was well aware that Krolia knew he was pregnant, yet she was drawing this thing out. Not that he’d wanted her to talk. Not when that arsehole Krystaal was standing far too close to his mother-in-law. That arsehole Krystaal whose face had lit up when he’d set eyes on Keith. He didn’t like the man. He didn’t like that he didn’t like the man. He was Keith’s friend. Someone important to his husband... who clearly had his charming good looks and piercing purple eyes set firmly on his husband. But it wasn’t Krystaal’s fault, not really. Keith was hot as hell and heaps of fun to be around. His hostile ways had lost their barbs, leaving behind the brave and gentle man Lance was proud to call his husband. People would have to be either blind or stupid not to appreciate the whole “Keith package”. Wide shoulders, jet black hair, muscled without being ugly. Purple eyes he could spend a lifetime lost in. Badarse scars and a fierce loyalty... not to mention the “male” pheromones he trailed behind him. Maturity had only improved his husband’s gorgeous looks. It wasn’t fucking fair... not that he was bitter at all... much... a lot. It wasn’t fair. Keith was his husband, and he was beyond attractive, both in looks in personality and appearance... while Lance looked like he’d swallowed 10 watermelons and scribbled across his stomach with a pink highlighter.

Landing near the palace in the allotted parking area, Krolia was a thousand times more radiant in person. Her stomach sitting low, hands resting on her bump as she smiled  
“Keith!”  
Moving to his mother, Keith hugged her tightly  
“Hey, mum. You look good”  
“I’ve always looked good. It helps that this little one is so well behaved, not at all like you...”  
Keith sighed as they drew apart. The sound the opposite of the smile on his lips. Stepping back, his husband grabbed his hand  
“You already know what’s going. Lance is pregnant. Miriam had the decency to tell us. Why didn’t you say anything!?”  
“I had no idea until after your accident. I thought the scent was my own... I hear it’s twins”  
“Yep. He’s due in January. Mum, you should have seen the scans. They’re so small. Their hands... I could watch them all day”  
Keith was beaming with pride. Lance was grinding his teeth. He wasn’t happy, nor was he proud. He felt like a fat useless lump that should have stayed on the ship. His crutches were irritating his arms where they sat, and seeing Krolia had sent his anxieties up. She was smiling. She seemed happy. But a marriage was a whole other thing to starting a family. Starting a family meant blood ties that would never fade  
“Congratulations. I have so many questions, but Miriam told me what she could... and I’m assuming that a lot of it is to do with Altean magic. How are you feeling, Lance? You look a little pale”  
“His morning sickness has been awful. He’s been throwing up all morning. Daehra’s tried to bring it under control. It’s been hard to watch him going through it all”  
“My poor darling. Still, it should have eased off by now. How’s your blood pressure? What about your vitamin levels? Have you had any false contractions? What about your breasts? Reading about all the changes your body’s going through, never truly prepares one. Keith’s father missed out on the opportunity to be there for any of his scans. Earth not knowing about the Galra and all that”  
“Mum, calm down. He’s ok. Daehra made him up some powder that turns into a shake when you add water. He’s been doing better since then. His dreams have been pretty crazy though. Last night he was crying in his sleep because he wanted grilled cheese sandwiches”

Keith hadn’t told him this. He couldn’t defend himself in this conversation because he wasn’t being given any in. Keith and Krolia both seemed happy to talk about him as if he wasn’t standing right there.  
“I don’t blame him. Galra never got the “cheese thing” just right. The number of times I’ve sent Kolivan out because of a craving”  
“Lance hasn’t had any of those. Then again, no one exactly knows how this pregnancy will play out. I have to show you the video Daehra made for us. They’re moving, and they’re so cute. One of them was moving as if it was in time with my voice. Their heartbeats aren’t like anything I’ve heard before. Every time I had them, I’m quiznakking scared out my mind. That reminds me, we set the nursery up at the outpost... I’ve got photos...”  
Krolia laughed  
“If only you were this interested in your sibling”  
Keith’s excitement dropped like a stone in a well. Letting go of his hand, his husband’s expression clouded with guilt  
“You’re right. I haven’t even asked how you’re doing. Or about this little one... I’m sorry, mum. That was the first thing I should have been asking”  
“You’re not used to the idea of being a big brother. They’re fine. We’re right on schedule with the birth. They’re happy, healthy, and have me up a hundred times a night, but it’s all worth it in the end when you finally get to hold your child. You’ll see for yourself when you become a father. Kolivan keeps worrying him sick over everything. He insists that I need to rest, but I intend to keep working as long as I can. It’s been such an easy pregnancy, that it feels like the universe is finally taking notice of all the good work we’ve been doing”  
“I’m happy for you both. I really am... I’m just... it’s so much at once. You and Lance... I never thought it’d be at the same time”  
“You’ll get plenty of practice with this one before your own come. Have you thought about how you’re going to tell your team? Shiro’s already here. So are Hunk and Shay. I thought you could tell them all together at dinner. I’ve arranged for you all to have dinner privately. Your team, and your friends. I’m sure you’d much rather that than coalition work anyway”  
“Shiro’s going to be so shocked. Lance was barely showing when he last saw him. You were barely showing until you told me”  
“He’s carrying twins, it’s natural for his stomach to grow at a faster rate. No two pregnancies are the same”  
“I know, but it’s still so surreal. I’m going to be a brother and a father”  
“I already know you’ll be the best big brother. The important thing to accept is that these twins need you to be a team. Lance needs you as much as you need him. And you’ll always have me here for support. Why don’t we head to your room, I want to see all the photos of my grand-babies. Also, there’s a few things I want to run through before tomorrow’s rehearsal. The coalition has gone all out”  
“I want to see the scans of my little brother...”  
Krolia rolled her eyes  
“Your sibling. I already have a fair idea of the gender, but Kolivan wants it to be a surprise, and as the father, he has the right to know first”  
“That’s fair. I know I was jealous of Shiro knowing before I did”  
“Shiro knew before you!?”  
Keith nodded, Lance jumped as he felt Kosmo’s teeth against his fingertips. His fur son knew he was getting too worked up by the conversation. Slipping his fingertips from Kosmo’s mouth, he rested them on between Kosmo’s ears  
“I was away and there was a miscommunication. But that’s all in the past now”  
“Good. I’d hate for anything to come between the two... four of you”

Keith and Krolia talked about coalition work as they made their way to Keith’s room. Being behind the pair, Lance gave up trying to keep up. He had Kosmo anyway. Kosmo didn’t talk about him like he wasn’t even there. Lance was filled from top his head to the bottom of his feet with nerves. Krolia would want to know how he felt about the pregnancy. Some days he was over the moon... or as over the moon as he could be, yet most of the time he was too caught up in his self-hatred. Keith kept reassuring him to the point Lance was sick of it. He was sick of his husband having too. He needed to talk to someone, but his husband wasn’t that person right now. Tapping on his comms, he limped as he typed, ignoring his spelling mistakes as he asked Shiro to come to Keith’s room. Shiro was as much family as he was... and as much on the outside, as he felt right now.

*  
Shiro reached Keith’s room just after Keith started showing Krolia the first ultrasound video. Excusing himself to the bathroom, Lance was sitting on the toilet seat as he patted Kosmo. His wolf had his front paws between Lance’s legs and head on his shoulder, as Lance nuzzled into his fur. He was trying his hardest not to cry, but he felt utterly rejected as a person, only seen as a baby carrier for Krolia and Keith. With a small knock on the floor, Shiro told him to “make himself decent”, then promptly let himself in. If he hadn’t been decent, then he certainly hadn’t had enough time to be. Closing the door behind him, Kosmo growled as Shiro came closer  
“Stop that. I asked Shiro to come. You know Shiro isn’t going to hurt me”  
Kosmo gave an almighty huff, moving to sit himself down between Lance and Shiro.

“I knew you were back, but I didn’t think you’d be hiding in here already. Something happen?”  
Lance nodded, now missing Kosmo’s huge form to hide behind  
“Something like that... I need... someone to talk to who isn’t Keith”  
Shiro gave a knowing smile  
“Ah. Is he smothering you again?”  
“He’s trying his hardest, but I’m still not happy... I don’t know what to do. I look revolting and I’m only going to get bigger... I want to be excited about this but... I don’t feel like me... I don’t feel like anything more than a baby carrier when I’m here and that’s not fair on Keith”

Cautious nudging Kosmo away with his foot, Shiro sat across from him on the floor  
“I noticed you’ve gotten bigger. Are you ok? I mean physically”  
“I’ve got a cast on my knee... from the accident. Daehra says I’m alright other than that...”  
“I heard about the accident. I wanted to come as soon as I could, but Krolia said not to. I heard it was pretty bad”  
“It was my fault. I went looking for Kosmo and they all got hurt because of me. Acxa and Keith... You probably understand it better than I do... Keith and Acxa... they couldn’t control what they said or did, and I know I’m not trying to hold anything against them, but I keep waiting for Keith to tell me I was right and he wants a divorce... because I look like this... I don’t deserve to be happy!”  
“Hey. Keith isn’t going to divorce you. Trust me, do you know how many times he complained to me that he hadn’t told you he loved you before you dated Allura? Loving you is the best thing in his life”  
“It shouldn’t have to be! I’m broken, Shiro. I’m broken. I killed so many people... I can still feel the blood... Why do I get to be happy when I took that away from them?!”  
“Lance...”  
“I can... I can see what I did! With K-Klearo the choice was easy. There... there was no way I was having... I was having that baby. I would have aborted if I’d known... But Keith...”  
“With Keith, you’re in a safe relationship?”  
Lance nodded wiping at his eyes  
“I killed him... I cut his dick off and slit his throat. I shot his soldiers... and I like it... How can I be happy when I did that?”  
“Because what happened with Klearo was not your fault. It wasn’t safe. It wasn’t love. It was not what you have with Keith. What he did to you, is completely unforgivable”  
“So why does it keep coming back!? He took my first pregnancy from me. He took it from Keith. I don’t get how Keith can sleep with me and not see everyone else I’ve slept with! I don’t get how Keith can look at me and love me”  
“Because you are you. You’ve always been kind. Even when it was kind of annoying. You’ve always had the self-sacrificing streak and now you’re sacrificing your own happiness because you feel sympathy for the devil”  
“I wanted him dead so badly... he’s coming back in my dreams... Allura watching it all happen... I’m always with Keith, and I needed that, but I need... I don’t know what I need. It’s so confusing. I want to want these twins. I love them... but I hate my body... because I know I’m wrong”  
“Lance, you told me that male pregnancy happened in Altea culture. Are you saying that they’re wrong? That it’s wrong and disgusting to carry the child of the one you love?”  
“No! Of course not!”  
“Then how is it different for you”  
“Because I didn’t ask for my body to be like this!”  
“Yet it is. And you’re going to be the best father I know to your twins. No matter how goofy you act, you always love twice, three times, four times the amount of a normal person. Do you know how much I’d give to be able to... with Curtis...? You have all our support because no matter what, we love you”  
“I don’t understand why. I’m scared. I’m scared Krolia is going to find out that I’m a sexually abused, ex-junky, and ex-alcoholic. I miss being high. I miss being confident and feeling invincible... it felt so good to be home again, Shiro. I could be myself again at the outpost. There was no emergency run to the hospital for Keith’s foot. My brother was there and sure he was a total dick because he was worried and jealous, we got there. I could move. They’re not going to let me go anywhere or do anything while I’m here. I’m Keith’s husband here. Keith’s baby carrier. The one training mission I was in charge of nearly killed everyone. I’m moody as quiznak and I’m so tired of being so down. Everyone is worrying and I don’t want them to”  
“Everyone is worrying because we love you. You think just because Pidge is on Earth, or Hunk is on my ship, that I don’t worry about them? We worry about each other because that’s what you do when you love someone. We love you. Pregnant or not... though you very much are. I am proud of you. I’m proud of you for opening up to Keith. I’m proud of you for kicking the drugs and alcohol. I’m proud of you for carving out your own sector of the universe and all the work there you’ve done. Don’t let what happened between you and Klearo keep weighing you down. Don’t let him spoil life for you. Have you talked to your councillor about this?”  
Lance shook his head. He knew he should, but... it never seemed to happen when he was at the outpost  
“They keep saying they want me to come in for a proper session, but we don’t have a wormhole generator at the outpost... Plus, we were on Earth for a week after Keith was finally released”  
“Do you think you’re up to going? If I call through and make the appointment, will you go?”  
At this point, he’d jump in a vat of acid if it meant figuring out his feelings. Nodding, Shiro smiled at him  
“Give me your comms. I’ll make the call then fly you out there myself. Keith doesn’t need to know until you’re ready. You’re trying so many things to find a way to cope, so maybe they’ll be able to help you figure out a better plan”  
“Shiro, you...”  
“Don’t tell me I don’t have to. I want to. I am making this choice on my own free will. Besides, I need a break from all this coalition talk. The seating chart has been absolute chaos”  
Putting on an overly stereotypical posh tone, Lance’s laughed at Shiro as he ended his sentence. He didn’t envy seating chart arrangements  
“Sounds like you’re preparing for you wedding”  
“It feels like it, but you want to know the big difference there? You and Keith are going to be my best men. I couldn’t think of two men I’d rather... also, I’m not planning on making space for 200 alien officials at my wedding”  
“But you’re the face of the future”  
“I’m thinking that it’s time I retired soon. Curtis and I have our whole lives in front of us. I want to get out there and live it with him”  
“You deserve it. You deserve it so badly... I thought Keith and I would be soon... but now I don’t know”  
“Have you planned for after the birth?”  
“We’re going to live at the outpost for a bit... so we can have some more time with our twins...”  
“That’s good. See, you have something to hope for”  
“I hoped that being with Keith would be our priority... I just keep feeling that I’m holding him back”  
“You’re not holding him back at all. If I said I wanted to take Keith out drinking, I know you wouldn’t say no. I know you wouldn’t say no if Keith had to spend all day working due to the coalition. I know you want him to be happy and to do the things he wants to do. If you were holding him back, Keith wouldn’t hold his tongue”  
“He would though. He would because he’s so scared of pushing me over into tears. He hates it when I cry. But sometimes you need to, and I can’t seem to stop”  
“Your body is flooded with hormones. You’re scared, but you’re strong. You are allowed to be scared. You’re allowed to feel the way you do. You’re the one going through this, but you are never going through this alone. I’m going to make that call now”  
“Thank you... I don’t know why, but it doesn’t seem as obligatory when you say it”  
“Because I’m not your husband. If you were being immature or milking things for attention, I wouldn’t be this nice”  
“That’s... true...”  
“Exactly”

Making time for him that afternoon, they’d be pushing making dinner on time, yet Shiro insisted that this was more important. Coming out of the bathroom, Keith was still talking to Krolia, but paused mid-sentence when the door slid open, Lance feeling the need for an excuse blurred out the first thing that came to mind  
“Sorry”  
Yep. He was an idiot. That was sure to make Keith worry... which it did. Wrinkles appearing on his husband’s forehead  
“Should I be worried about my husband and my brother alone in the bathroom?”  
Shiro laughed, the tension lifting at the sound  
“No. No. It’s my fault for getting too excited. Gotta see how my nieces or nephews or niece and nephew are. Pictures don’t do justice”  
“That doesn’t explain why Lance said “sorry””  
“Probably because I need to borrow him, although you just came back”  
Keith looked down at his comms  
“Lance usually goes down for a nap about now”  
He wasn’t three. He didn’t have “assigned” nap times. Normally he’d have been working the bar and needed a break. All he’d done was throw up today...  
“It’s fine, Keith. Shiro needs to take a quick flight and I said I’d go with him for company. Two or three vargas top”  
“Then I should come with you”  
Keith was killing him here. Slinging his arm around Lance’s shoulder, Shiro shook his head  
“How are we supposed to bitch about you, if you’re there? Don’t worry, it’s a simple drop off and pick up. It looks like you and Krolia have a lot to talk about with the twins. Lance can nap in the pod if he really wants to”

Keith didn’t want him to go. Sure, his husband would readily agree if he knew why Shiro was whisking him away, but Lance was still miffed that he and Krolia had talked about him like he wasn’t able to answer any of her questions by himself  
“I’m not three, Shiro. I don’t neeeeeed a nap. Let’s go already. We should be back by dinner, if not, start without us”  
Nudging his hand, Kosmo made his thoughts on the situation known  
“You have to stay with Keith, baby boy. Shiro’s going to take good care of me. We both know your human needs someone taking care of him too. Who knows what innocent air duct and vents might be violated when Keith’s left alone”  
Krolia laughed at that one. Keith seemed mildly peeved. Placing her hand on her son's arm, she reigned her laughter in  
“Let them go do what they have planned. Shiro wouldn’t take Lance anywhere dangerous”  
Betrayed by his mother, Keith crossed his arms  
“Fine. We’ll be talking about this when you get back”  
“That’s fine. Come on, Shiro. I’ll let you babysit him tonight if you want”  
Shiro hummed as he raised his robotic arm to stroke at an imaginary beard  
“With the twins coming, it would be good practice”  
“Pffft. You don’t need practice. You basically became an instant father when you took him in, and then when you blasted into space with the rest of us. If there’s anyone in the room full of “father” material it’s you... wait... ew... not like that... that’s Curtis’s business and I’m gonna shut up now”  
“Curtis enjoys my “father material””  
“Shiro!”  
Groaning, he knew he’d done it to himself  
“As Lance said, we should only be a couple of vargas and should be back for dinner. We’ll see you guys later”

Keith wasn’t happy. Keith wasn’t happy that he was leaving. First, he’d snubbed both his husband and Krolia, then he’d taken off with Shiro... but what was the point of being there. Keith could fill Krolia in with more enthusiasm than he could. Plus, it was his time to brag... Keeping a stabilising arm around him until they reached the hall, Shiro pulled his infamous “Space Dad Mind Reading”  
“Keith isn’t mad at you. Krolia isn’t mad at you either”  
“Yes they are”  
“No. He’s worried, but not mad”  
“I’m pretty sure it’s both”  
“Then he’s the one in the wrong. He should know I wouldn’t hurt you. He does know I wouldn’t hurt you”  
“Yeah... but... I didn’t have a good morning. Then he and Krolia started talking about my pregnancy like I wasn’t even there... maybe I wanted to get back at him a tiny bit by not telling him where I was going”  
“You’re already using enough of your courage to admit you need to talk to your therapist. You are allowed to be all out of courage right now. You’ll talk to him tonight, and he’ll understand”  
“I think he’s going to be mad I didn’t take him”  
“Lance, it’s healthy to take a break from your partner. To need your own time and do your own thing. I know Shay wants to borrow you while we’re here for wedding talk, and I know that Keith would fall asleep if you tried to include him in that”  
“He’s so protective of me... I guess I’ve been clinging to him as much as he’s been clinging to me. The accident... really fucked me up”  
“And that’s ok too. You need to start accepting that what you’re feeling is valid. Now let’s go get you some therapy”  
Mumbling, Lance started limping forward  
“I’d rather have ice cream”  
“I’ll get you one after”  
Lance perked up. Now that they were talking ice cream, he was sure he could devour a tub if given then chance  
“Two scoops?”  
“Three with sprinkles”  
Gasping, Lance feigned being impressed before delivering his counter order  
“What if I want two with a waffle cone?”  
“That might be pushing it... It depends if you behave yourself on the flight over”  
Nodding his head, and trying to look as solemn as he could Lance replied  
“I promise not to throw up on your shoes”  
“That’s a good start”  
“I’m pregnant. That’s the best promise I can make”  
“I’m reserving my judgement for after we land”  
“Probably for the best”

*  
Keith was trying his hardest not to be annoyed. They’d barely been planetside for half a varga before his husband was running off with his brother, without either of them giving him a clear answer as to what was suddenly so interesting or urgent that they both needed to leave. Lance hadn’t once answered Krolia’s questions, now he was gone... His husband had been crying, and now he was gone... 

“Keith, whatever they’re doing, I’m sure it’s nothing you need to worry about”  
“He didn’t say anything, and now he’s taken off with Shiro somewhere...”  
“Ooooh, you’re jealous because you’ve been left behind to hang out with your pregnant mother”  
“I’m not jealous”  
“Keith, your bottom lip is dragging on the floor. Talk to me”  
“It’s just... he didn’t say anything, then Shiro comes along and he’s leaving with him”  
“Do you want me to stop them from leaving? Shiro hadn’t mentioned a trip to me, though he was pretty excited to catch up with you both. He wanted to come after the accident, but I thought you two needed your alone time more”  
“That’s Shiro though. I mean, I’m happy Lance is feeling up to talking to him... I wish he’d stayed and talked to you”  
“You didn’t give him much of chance when you both arrived. He was feeling nervous”  
“He didn’t have a good morning. That’s why I don’t want him going out now. He’s been so tired”  
“Tiredness is common, especially when pregnant with multiples. Shiro won’t be making him do anything beyond his abilities. Now, if they’ve gone off to have some fun, then we’ll have some fun of our own. You need to be fitted for your suit now you’re back. Everyone else has”  
“How is that fun? The last time I wore a suit, it wasn’t fun”  
“Think of how handsome Lance is going to find you”  
“He already thinks I’m unfairly good looking. More so now that his stomach is so obvious”  
“Ah. He’s not having a good time with that, is he? You did say he was quite obsessive over his looks”  
“He’s toned down on his face masks. I was hoping to find some kind of day spa, but he hates being touched. I need your recommendations for restaurants too. He refuses to let me do anything for his birthday other than letting me take him out for dinner”  
“You could cook for him. Your father used to cook for me regularly”  
With how scrambled eggs had gone, Keith wasn’t game to try something as complicated as dinner”  
“He’s been doing the majority of the cooking while we were gone. He let Marco cook at the outpost, but I thought I’d be nice to take him somewhere nice”  
“Why didn’t you tell me you can’t cook? I understand when it comes to Daibazaal food, but you should know how to make basic Earth food”  
“I never said I couldn’t cook”  
“You forget, I’m your mother. I can you read you. Why don’t you ask for some tips from Hunk?”  
“I’m a grown man. I should know how to cook”  
“Kolivan’s idea of a gourmet meal is changing the cook of the food goo. He has been making an attempt since I fell pregnant. I’m sure Hunk would be delighted to help”  
“Lance doesn’t want to talk to them”  
“Has he said that?”  
“He doesn’t need to. He didn’t want to come back here. He was doing better at the outpost... now he has to see everyone and he doesn’t want to”  
“Keith, people are going to find out he’s pregnant. It’s better coming from both of you than from a stranger. He’s a tough kid”  
“We’re both adults”  
“You’ll always be my kids. Think about it though. You have the backing of every single person in this palace. You’ve got Miriam, Shiro and Marco. Coran, which pretty much means you have the universes greatest military powers behind you”  
“I know... It doesn’t make it any easier though. He frustrates me so much. He knows I love him, and he’s always trying to take it on himself to sort everything out”  
“You do that for the one you love. You’re as bad as he is. You want to protect him from wherever he’s gone with Shiro, though you know he’d never put him in danger”  
“I’m mad because he left. He said he wouldn’t leave me, and he did”  
“I know you’re mad, but that won’t change anything. Let them have their alone time. Lance might be in a better mood when it comes home. You need a suit, and I need to pee”

Suits were not his thing. Custom-tailored suits that resulted in him being a human pin cushion was even less his thing, no matter how good he looked at the end of it all. Pricked and poked at, Keith knew Lance would have loved to have been there. His husband would have been scolding in place of the old Galra with shaky hands and white eyes. Keith had thought him blind with cataracts until he went to work. His suit was modelled after Earthen styling, a simple 3 piece in black, with a black-tie. It wasn’t a process that needed to eat up his whole afternoon, yet it did. The man could have taken his measurements on file, or from his blade outfit. A suit felt like overkill, given that Galra had their own military garb for these sorts of occasions. His mother content watching him being tortured, both physically and mentally. Shiro and Lance had left for Erathus. Erathus of all the places in the universe. Shiro shouldn’t have any business on Erathus. It confused him to no end as to why he and Lance would plan a sudden trip out there. If Th’al needed a hand, surely Lance would have simply told him that, there was the awards ceremony, but after that, they both could have headed out there. There was no need for secrecy... Nor was there a need to leave him behind. Erathus wasn’t a good place for Lance to be, and Keith wasn't sure that Shiro would be able to protect his husband without putting himself in significant danger. Not with how much the government disliked him, and not with his knowledge of how to get his hands on every drug under the sun. No. No. Drugs were in Lance’s past. He’d seen how badly his husband had reacted to taking pain medication, even when it would have made things so much easier for him. Yet... he had relapsed before... No. Shiro wouldn’t let him buy drugs. He shouldn’t be even considering the possibility... Yet, his instincts weren’t allowing him to wave this off. Lance was his husband. Not Shiro’s. Lance should have been by his side, no matter what was going on. He wasn’t sure that he hadn’t given Lance the opportunity to answer Krolia’s questions, but if he had, it was only because he was excited to finally be able to confide in her and ask for help and advice on it all. Lance had said he wouldn’t leave him behind, then run off with Shiro without telling him anything... Why did it have to hurt so much? Maybe because this wasn’t the first time that Lance had chosen to confide in Shiro over him? But he thought they were good. Sure, there’d been a hiccup at the shack when he repeatedly hurt Lance with his actions without intending to, but their time at the outpost had been good. His husband had perked up significantly, even before talking to Marco. Lance had seemed truly happy for the last three quintants before the flight out there. They’d gone at it like rabbits, so he shouldn’t be feeling too stressed... So why the quiznak did he have to be left behind?!

*  
Sending word that they were running slightly late, Keith was left to enter the dining room alone after waiting as long as his anger allowed him in the hallway like a loser. His friends were already seated before him, and should have been laughing, but when he stepped in all conversation stopped and he was left with far too many eyes in his direction. Making a quick exit back out the room, Veronica came after him  
“We need to talk”  
There was never a time in the existence of those four words being placed like that, that they didn’t stir dread up from the pits of one stomach. Pausing, Keith turned back to her  
“Why? What’s going on?”  
“Did you and Lance break-up?”  
Keith blinked at his sister-in-law  
“What? No. What are you talking about?”  
“I’m talking about this”

Tapping on her comms, Veronica pulled up some tabloid article. The photo was recent. Lance was wearing the same pants he’d had on earlier that day, he was on crutches... and he was on Erathus with Shiro  
“Shiro asked him for his help”  
“So you aren’t “frustrated in your marriage”. And Lance didn’t repeatedly deny your request for a divorce?”  
“What now?”  
“Here, read it yourself”  
Taking Veronica’s comms, Keith wasn’t sure he wanted to

“Sources inside Daibazaal palace have often heard the pair fighting Keith has made his request for a divorce repeatedly know, yet Lance refuses to listen. Could it be due to the shocking new allegation that former Red Paladin was in fact involved in a relationship with now-deceased Diplomat Klearo, whose death has been the cause of many rumours? Sources also allege that Lance has admitted to murdering Klearo. And that through mental illness, Lance believes himself to be pregnant with Keith’s child, despite it being impossible for the male born species of the Earth race. Though we cannot confirm this, we can confirm that Lance was seen with Atlas Commander Takahashi “Shiro” Shirogane, and not for the first time. The pair were spotted heading to Erathus’s main hospital, where they spent two vargas before emerging. The former Red Paladin, though clearly pale and sickly, seemed in high spirits as the pair stopped at a local ice cream parlour before enjoying a nice walk. As you can see, Lance is smiling brightly as he wears Shirogane’s jacket. Could this mean that the rumours and allegations were correct? Is it goodbye Keith, and hello Shiro?”

Keith was silently seething with anger. He wanted to punch something as badly as he wanted to throw Veronica’s comms on the floor and grind it into dust beneath his boot. Choosing the worst possible moment to finally arrive, Lance’s crutches hit his ears as his head jerked up. His husband had Shiro’s jacket draped over his shoulders, as he dared to fucking smile  
“Veronica, go back inside. Tell the others we’ll be in to explain shortly”  
“Keith”  
“Go!”  
Yelling at his sister-in-law, Veronica let out a stream of angry Spanish as she grabbed her comms and fled into the dining room. Down the hall, Lance had stopped. Shiro standing beside him. Striding down the hallway, Lance flinched away from him  
“Where the quiznak have you been?!”  
“I... we... Erathus”  
Squeaking his words out, Lance tried to retreat backwards. Shiro’s arm preventing him from running  
“Do you know how I know? You’re all over the tabloids again!”  
Lance paled, swaying on the spot  
“Keith, perhaps now isn’t...”  
Growling at his brother, Shiro shut up  
“You were photographed on Erathus. Eating ice cream with Shiro, and going to the hospital with Shiro. Is something going on? Are these twins actually mine?”  
Lance whimpered, Shiro half stepping in front of Lance to shield him  
“Keith, that’s enough”  
“Is it?! Erathus is dangerous, and you took him there! You took him to the hospital! That’s twice now!”  
“It’s not what you think”  
Keith’s rage bubbled over. He could hear his heartbeat thudding in his head, bellowing at the pair of  
“I don’t know what to think because you didn’t tell me anything!”  
“This isn’t the first time lies have been printed”  
“No, but this is the first time that multiple details that people shouldn’t have have been. Lance being Klearo’s lover. Lance killing Klearo. Lance pregnant. What happened on the training mission. Why couldn’t you tell me what was going on!? Do you know how many people have read this!?”

Behind Shiro, Lance’s legs gave out. His husband wheezing harshly as he slumped to the floor. Grasping his chest, sobs and pants fell from his lips, between softly mumbled words that Keith didn’t quite hear. Crouching down in front of Lance, Lance whimpered as he tried to drag his busted leg away from Shiro  
“Keith, you need to calm him down. It’s not good for him or your twins”  
“Thanks. I fucking know how to take care of my own fucking husband”  
Moving past Shiro, Keith sank to kneel, keeping his movements slow as he reached for his husband. When Lance tried to kick him, Keith grabbed his leg and pulled him back towards him, forcing his husband into his arms as Lance fought  
“I don’t want to be upset with you, but you took off suddenly and you didn’t tell me why. You didn’t tell me anything and now these rumours are going around all over again. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to be left behind?”  
Lance was hiccuping his sobs, his husband wanted to say something but he couldn’t get the words out for his distress  
“I forced Lance to go to Erathus to see his therapist. I borrowed his comms, made the appointment and took him. It was after hours, that’s why we were so late returning, given Lance had finally come in, they were in there for quite some time. He was going to talk to you about it when he came back, but there was no way he could have foreseen this happening. He came out of his appointment feeling better than when he’d gone in, and the ice cream was a joke bribe to get him to go. He figured you and Krolia were just going to talk about pregnancy anyway. You know there’s nothing between me and Lance. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you again, nor should Lance. He’s completely devoted to you. He was going to bring you back ice cream until I vetoed that idea because I didn’t want it split in my pod. Even when we were walking back to the spaceport, he kept pausing because something would catch his eye and he thought you’d like it”  
“I’m a jealous idiot, aren’t I?”  
Still, he would have supported Lance going if he’d known it was to see his therapist. He hadn’t even been sure that his husband had kept up with his therapy session... Fuck... He’d royally fucked this up  
“You are. We didn’t know we were photographed, not that should matter. Do you have the details of the publisher? There are a few things I’d personally like to say to them”  
“Veronica showed me on her comms”  
“I thought it wasn’t like you to read gossip trash”

Finally getting his voice, Lance rasped out  
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry, I keep fucking this up. But I’ve never cheated on you... and not with Shiro... he doesn’t smell right... he doesn’t feel right”  
Shiro huffed, faking offence  
“I take you for ice cream and this is how you repay me? It’s a good thing you’re not my type either. Who gets liquorice and strawberry ice cream, then nuts on top? Weirdo”  
“Leave him alone, he can eat whatever he wants”  
“Speaking of eating, is everyone in there already?”  
“Yeah”  
“Then I think it’s time we head in. Lance has got this, don’t you? Remember what I said?”  
Lance was still crying, surprising him by nodding at Shiro, he sniffled loudly  
“Anyone who’s an arsehole I can shoot”  
“Exactly. This isn’t like seizures. You’re in control here. You’re the one telling them, and they don’t take it well...”  
“I can shoot them”  
Shiro reached down and ruffled Lance’s hair  
“Yep. I’ll even hand you the blaster myself. What do you say we get up off the floor now?”  
“I like the floor”  
“It’s perfectly fine as far as floors go. Though I think you’ll be more comfortable sitting properly”  
“I’m stuck down here”  
“I’m sure Keith can help you back up. It’s the least he can do”  
“Shiro... don’t... please. I don’t want to fight with him. I don’t want to fight with anyone. I was the one who stupidly thought it’d all be ok”  
“You weren’t stupid. We talked about this too. You used all your courage accepting you needed the appointment. You had no idea this would happen. This is not your fault. At all. Remember, your therapist said you need to stop blaming yourself”  
“Yes, dad... Ok... I’m ok... I’m ok...”  
Breathing through his nose, Lance’s took half a dozen deep breaths, before finally raising his gaze to meet Keith’s eyes. Hurt was still clouding his husband’s ocean blue eyes  
“Will you please help me up?”  
“I’m so fucking sorry. I panicked because you left and I didn’t know why”  
“I’m going to leave again if you attack me like that again”  
“I don’t blame you... I just wish you had faith in me enough to tell me”  
“Why? When you can’t have faith that I’m not cheating on you with your brother?”  
The verbal jab was as good as a slap to the face. Keith’s cheeks red with humiliation  
“I don’t think you’re cheating”  
“You straight-up accused me. Why does this shit always have to keep happening? Do you want to ask me that? How many people did I fuck while high or after drugs? None. None. I used my body to get my bounties and I always took precautions in case things went too far. I can’t say what happened when I was unconscious because I honestly didn’t care anymore. But you. You’re the only one I’ve given my permission. I thought we were better than this. Forget it. I don’t want you touching me when you think I’m fucking dirty”

Detangling himself from Keith’s hold, Lance brushed off both him and Shiro, watching himself pull himself up the wall was painful. Grabbing his crutches, Lance stared down at him  
“Well, get up. Your friends are waiting for you to go in there and tell them that you knocked your whore husband up”  
“Lance! I don’t think you’re a whore”  
“Then tell me what you find so untrustworthy. You know I fucking love you. You know that. I would crawl through glass to be with you. But one bad rumour and you think nothing of me”  
“That’s not it! You know what these instincts are like. You left me behind”  
“Because I had to go before I worked myself up too much to. Besides, you were happily telling Krolia all about my pregnancy. You might be the father, but I’m... I’m the one going through it. Yes. I have fucking cravings. No. I don’t say a damn thing about them, because I’m still not ok with what my body is becoming, and because you are your own person. A person I want to be proud of. We are supposed to be a team. I want to be happy about the twins, but how can I be when you’re like this”  
“Lance...”  
Shiro’s voice held a gentle warning  
“It’s fine, Shiro. Oh. Shiro helped me rewrite what it’d done for your speech. You’re welcome”

His anger had gotten the better of him. Lance had only been gone a few vargas, and his afternoon had gone to shit the moment his husband left. His paranoia and flaring instincts to protect had taken control of his mouth. He knew Lance wouldn’t fucking cheat on him. He knew his husband wasn’t a whore. He’d known that for so long... Why hadn’t he held his anger? Everything came bursting forth when he saw him. He should have been happy Lance was happy... not fucking jealous that Shiro was the one there making Lance happy... That was like... like giving Lance permission to be shitty when he hung out with his brother. Everything Lance did, he always put Keith first and foremost. Coming back to Diabazaal and facing everyone for the first time since the incident wasn’t just hard for Lance. His team were going to want to know all about their impromptu vacation. They were all going to want to talk to Lance and know that he was alright. They were all going to want to reassure him that he hadn’t been to blame. This stupid article, launching mere vargas after arriving home couldn’t have come at the worst time. Lance’s pregnancy wasn’t a figment of his husband’s mind, yet now he was being slandered. Quiznak if Keith didn’t want to hunt down the reporter and slaughter them, though the main issue was that someone who knew what had happened had leaked information to the press to drive them apart. Even if issued with an apology and retraction, people would still be making up their own minds that Lance was something he wasn’t. Burying his face in his hands, he wasn’t aware he was crying until Shiro was pulling him into a firm hug  
“You’re an idiot, but you’re my brother. I love you, and I know you’re worried, but it hurts that you’d doubt me. I love Curtis. I’m planning a life with Curtis. What that article doesn’t show you was us ring shopping for Curtis after we had ice cream. No one is going to take Lance from you, because he doesn’t love anyone but you. He didn’t leave you with the intention of never returning, he left because his mental health is all over the place and he needed help working things out. You’re allowed to be worried. You’re allowed to be scared. Both those feelings are valid. But don’t let that ruin your marriage”  
“I don’t want to fight with him either... I was so worried the whole time he was gone”  
“I would be too if Lance was Curtis, but I’d also trust him. You two love each other fiercely, sometimes too fiercely. Now pick yourself up and wipe your face. You’ve got news to tell everyone, and Lance is waiting for you”

Lance was the bigger man. His husband passing his crutches to Shiro so he could take Keith’s hand. Keith was still very much in the dog house. They might be holding hands, yet there felt like a whole universe of distance between. Opening the door for them, Shiro’s presence was almost claustrophobic as the three of them stepped into the room. Raising his free hand, Keith scratched the back of his head as he tried to find his words. Half rising in his seat, Hunk’s eyes were fixed on Lance. Feeling too emotionally compromised, Keith moved half a step in front of his husband, finding his words in a hurry  
“Um... Lance and I are having a baby... Lance and I are having twins. He’s carrying my twins... I’m not actually having them, but he’s pregnant... and I’m the father”

There was a moment's pause before Hunk groaned and slumped back in his chair. Pidge started laughing, full-on holding her stomach laughing  
“You guys are idiots, men can’t get pregnant! That’s a good one...”  
Zethrid brought some order to the conversation  
“I don’t think they’re joking, Pidge”  
“But Zethrid, Lance doesn’t have the right parts. You can pull the pillow out your shirt now. Great gag guys, especially after the article”  
Keith snarled at Pidge, moving further between his pregnant husband and their friends. The sound sobering Pidge up in an instant. Her laughter turned to genuine concern  
“Come on, Keith. You’re joking, aren’t you? Lance? You’re not pregnant are you?”  
Blindly reaching back, Keith grabbed Lance’s hand  
“It’s not a joke. You can blame Allura. It seemed she knew how Lance I felt for each other, and Lance’s desire for a family. When she gifted him part of her quintessence, Lance changed a little biologically. He’s still very much the love of my life”

Sitting back up, Hunk sighed  
“Of course. Altean magic. Hold up, that stomach bug! That was morning sickness, wasn’t it!?”  
“Y-yeah...”  
Shyly replying, Lance tugged on Keith’s hand  
“I think you should let them both sit down before you ask any more questions”  
From across the table, Curtis stood  
“Congratulations to both of you. I’ve been waiting to see for myself, as it’s all a bit... I don’t want to say strange, but I don’t know what else to say about it. But what could be better than two of our best friends building their family”  
Keith gaped  
“You knew?”  
“Taka talks a lot in his sleep. The sleep version on you got quite him quite excited over all of this. The sleep version of you also named one of them Shiro. He was cooing in his sleep”  
“Curtis! Why...?”  
Shiro sounded humiliated, Keith could see it though. Not the part where they named one of their twins “Shiro”, but the excitement over the birth of the twins  
“Because it was adorable. Now, come sit down. Lance is probably exhausted, and Keith doesn’t look that good either”

Emerging from behind his husband, Lance’s hands were on his stomach. Pidge was now repeating “oh my god”, Hunk was wringing his hands, Acxa had her arm around a shocked Veronica, while Zethrid and Ezor were grinning at each other  
“I’m... sorry... I know it’s not normal and you’re probably grossed out, but... it’s true”  
“Does Mami know!?”  
Lance flinched, holding the hem of his shirt as he did. Placing his hand on his husband’s nape, Keith nodded  
“Papi, Mami, Krolia, Coran, Lucteal, Daehra, Shiro and Marco. Shiro was the first to know. Rachel doesn’t unless Miriam has told her by now. I don’t think Luis and Lisa know yet, either. We spent the last movement training Marco to take over some of Lance’s roles at the outpost”  
Pushing his chair back, Hunk rose to his feet  
“I need a tick”  
Shay was quick to follow after him. Keith could understand if it’d been Veronica storming off, yet Hunk was the pure ray of sunshine in their life. He could even understand Pidge thinking it all a practical joke... At his limit, Lance brushed him off as he grabbed the closest free chair and lowered himself down. Promptly ignoring his husband’s wishes, Keith sat beside him, forcing him to take his hand  
“Ok. You all get one question each. Veronica goes first because she’s Lance’s sister”  
Pidge grumbled about “favouritism”, glaring at both of them as she bounced in her seat. Rather than looking at his sister, Lance was looking at his left hand as he rubbed his belly  
“How? How long have you known?”  
“About two Earth months”  
“And why weren’t you there for him? Why did Shiro know first? Where were you?”  
Lance’s scent filled with anger, as he spat as his sister  
“Don’t you dare start on him, V. Keith was a training mission. I called Shiro”  
“You should have called one of us. We’re family”  
“Shiro’s family too. Shiro has never forced me to blab out stuff I haven’t wanted to. Not like you. You’re not my mum, V. You’re my sister. If Marco could accept it... No, if Papi could accept it, you can too”  
“You’re pregnant. It can’t be healthy for you. You have enough medical issues, and you’re not made to carry. A baby isn’t an accessory”  
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think Mami and I have had this talk? I’ve carried this far. I don’t need your negativity”  
Keith looked to Acxa, who gave a smile  
“No questions. I know better when it comes to you. I’m happy for both of you... though it may take me a while to get my head around my brother-in-law being pregnant”  
Ezor nodded, popping her trademark pink gum  
“If anyone was going to pull this off, it was going to be you too. We don’t want to babysit, but we’re happy to teach them hand to hand once they’re big enough... Krolia didn’t seem as enthused when we gave her the same order. No idea why”  
Keith definitely did not want their children raised or trained by Zethrid and Ezor. He’d go insane having two more of them around.

Pidge sucked in a giant breath before grasping the table. Unable to keep it inside anymore  
“What does Coran have to say? Do you have Allura’s quintessence still in you? Why do you have her quintessence? Do you know what they are yet? Have you had an ultrasound? Are they Galra, Human or Altean? Do you have, you know, the bits to give birth or is it going to explode our your stomach like an alien? Do you know if it’ll be the same length as a normal human pregnancy? Or do Altean’s have shorter pregnancies? Does Lance’s scent have something to do with it? Oh my god, this is why your marks are back, isn’t it?! Because you’re having a baby? Did you grow bits or how does it all work down there? Was it through the butt? No. No, I don’t want to think about that bit. We’re the eggs yours? Are they identical twins? What does it feel like? Can you feel them moving yet? What does that feel like? There are so many variables...”  
Lance was trying for everyone’s sake. His words were a little wobbly, yet he picked himself up  
“Pidge, I’m pretty sure that’s more than one question. Everything is normal, from the scans. Caesarean’s are a thing. We have a theory that Allura gave me part of her quintessence to keep my soul and my body from separating, like with the crystal in Shiro’s arm... from when I died. It’s twins, by the way, not one baby, but two. She... she changed my body... and I’m not ok with it... Even if she was trying to be nice, it’s been complicated since she did... She basically made it... so my scent tells Keith my moods. All Galra really. Um... Coran says that I can’t control the quintessence in my body. Apparently, male pregnancy is a thing on Altea due to their shapeshifting abilities, so it’s not like I’m the first male in the world going through this... But both twins are fine. Hitting all the right milestones and stuff... After we spent a week at Keith’s shack we hit up the outpost. So I’m not cheating on him with Shiro or anything like that... He’s been a big help...”

Pidge started laughing again, Lance startled by the sound. Hushing him softly, Keith rubbed the back of Lance’s hand with the pad of his thumb  
“There is no way Shiro would date your twig arse! We didn’t believe that article, you know. We were more concerned with if you’d heard. Acxa was pretty angry, those rumours were really specific. Someone might have seen Lance, and no offence, your stomach isn’t exactly small, so they might have guessed, but they still wouldn’t know the details of this divorce business. There’s obviously been some kind of security breach. Krolia is having your room scanned for bugs, and I’ve already written several angry emails on your behalf... plus, I hacked the site and now their email account it registered for every spammy thing I could find”  
Lance didn’t laugh, the sound wasn't laughing, yet it wasn’t not a laugh at the same time  
“Pidge. You are one brilliant gremlin”  
“I’ve got your back. Or in this case, your front. I accept payment in tech”  
“I know you do. I promise the next time we get a good box of tech and I’m at the outpost, I’m saving it for you and Rover 2.0”  
“Now that’s settled, and we’ve established that I’m going to be the best aunt, when are my new minions due?”  
“My twins... Keith’s twins, are due in January. So before Hunk and Shay’s wedding”  
“Dammit. See, if you were pregnant you wouldn’t have to be part of the wedding then I wouldn’t have to be because you weren’t... Shay keeps wanting to talk dresses... The only dresses I own were forced upon me by Colleen”  
“Pidge, you do know you’re an adult now. You’re supposed to own a dress or two”  
“Noooo. They’re so impractical. I’ll put you in a dress and see how you like it”  
“I would slay. Still, it’s her wedding, you should probably make the effort to wear a dress”  
Pidge wrinkled her nose at both of them  
“I’m going to excuse such horrible words, seeing your pregnant and obviously are affected by hormones. But don’t think I’ll let it slide for a second time”  
“Pidge, I’ll make you a deal. You wear a dress for Shay’s sake, and I promise you’ll never change a dirty nappy when it comes to the twins. Even minions poop, you know”  
“I hate you. You know that I hate you. You can’t use that kind of logic against me. I’ll consider it”  
“That’s all Shay would ask... So, uh, we’re supposed to be eating dinner, buuuut...”  
“Oh, Hunk and Shay... were waiting for you”

Keith could have slapped Pidge up the back of her head for pointing out the Hunk shaped gap at the table. Hunk had been Lance’s best friend, yet he’d bailed the moment he saw Lance was pregnant  
“Ah... I don’t know about you guys, but I already... and I’m just about ready for a nap”  
“Dude, you can’t go flaking on us no. You tell us your pregnant, and I still haven’t gotten all my answers”  
“That’s because you’re a gremlin. You’re always searching for more answers than what you know to do with. I’ve pretty much told you all I know... No, you’re not running any tests on me, or them”  
“I totally wasn’t thinking about running aaaaany tests”  
“You literally asked to before. I think I’m going to head to bed. These two aren’t even here and they’re exhausting as quiznak. I’m sorry... I’m also back on outpost time”  
Yawning mid-sentence made Lance’s words seem more credible, but credible or not, Keith was certain his husband wanted to leave before Hunk came back out of fear of making him uncomfortable... Politely, Curtis cut in  
“Your outpost runs at a different time rate, doesn’t it?”  
“Mhmm. One quintant here is one and a half there... It’d be something around 4 am there”  
“Definitely time for you to be sleeping then”  
“Yeah. I’m sorry, did you have any questions?”  
“No. I can ask Shiro, right?”  
“Yeah. You two are a package deal... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner... It hasn’t been easy”  
“Lance, it’s fine. We’ve already talked. You should rest when your body tells you to”  
“I feel like I’m always bailing on meals”  
Pidge snorted  
“That’s because you are, but pregnant people get a free pass, tonight at any rate. Plus, if those bags under your eyes got any darker, I’d be the one dragging you to bed just like you used to do for me. Shay wants to talk wedding tomorrow, so don’t be surprised when we show up at your door. Consider it your punishment for telling me I’m going to be an Aunty then bailing on me”  
“Thanks, Pidge. Thank you all... I was... I was really scared of telling you. It’s not something semi-normal like seizures... or losing a finger...”  
“You were scared because you’re an idiot. Voltron family for life! When I say “Vol”, you say...?”  
““Tron”. I can’t believe you remember that”  
“Trust me, I remember plenty...”  
“I’m sure you do. There’s no need to go into detail. I’ll see you guys tom-morrow”  
Pushing his chair back, Lance slipped his hand free of Keith’s, Keith going to stand  
“You can stay. Brag. I know you want to. He’s got video evidence”  
“I’ll see you back to our room...”  
Lance rolled his eyes  
“I can limp there under my own steam”  
“Lance, let your husband walk your pregnant arse back to your room”  
Lance groaned  
“Pidge! You don’t get to use my pregnancy against me”  
“I’m ensuring the safety of my future minions”  
“Keep this up and I’ll... I don’t know what I’ll do, but when I think of it, I’ll let you know”  
Pidge poked her tongue out  
“I’m soooo scared. Besides, Krolia is probably still scanning Keith’s room. Do you really want a lecture from her?”  
Lance huffed  
“No”  
Pidge giving him a sickly sweet smile  
“Then put Keith to work”  
“I already did, or can’t you see the stomach?”  
Covering her ears and scrunching her eyes closed, Pidge had been defeated  
“Don’t make me picture things I don’t want to! You know I have an overactive imagination as it is!”  
“Yep. I sure do. I’m off to bed, night guys!”

Leaving their friends, Keith mistakenly thought he’d been forgiven. With how good the mood between Pidge and Lance had been, and with her being the one Keith was sure would take it worst, the half-Galra foolishly believed that their fight in the hall had been forgotten, or labelled as the “temper tantrum” it was. Hovering at his husband’s side, Keith went to help as Lance’s left crutch slipped. His husband stepping away from him, causing the crutch to fall from Lance’s hold  
“Babe?”  
“Don’t touch me”  
In that instant, Keith felt as if brambles had filled his heart. Swallowing down the painful emotions blooming, he picked up the dropped crutch. Lance taking it, and steadying himself before starting toward the corridor that’d eventually lead them back to Keith’s room  
“Babe?”  
Lance ignored him. His husband’s expression set with a firm frown  
“Babe?”  
“What?! What do you want, Keith?! Can’t you see I’m trying to concentrate”  
“I... I wanted to apologise”  
“Well don’t”  
“What I said was completely out of line”  
“Yes, it was. Do you know how humiliating it is to not have your husband believe you? And not for the first time, I might add. If you don’t want me saying something we’re both going to regret, don’t talk to me. Don’t touch me. Don’t look at me. Just... don’t”  
“My instincts...”  
Lance scoffed  
“You’re not the only one with a weird set of new instincts, Keith. Don’t you think I get fucking paranoid?! You know I do! But when have I ever shown an interest in anyone other than you, since we’ve started this whole thing? I haven’t. I was going to fucking tell you about my therapy appointment after I’d been, because I stupidly thought that my husband... my husband who told me to go to Shiro over things, would trust that I haven’t spread my legs willingly for anyone but you, and I sure as quiznak wouldn’t start with your brother, would believe in me enough to trust my choice! Do you know how gross that it is? It’s like telling you to sleep with Marco! No. It’s actually like you sleeping with Marco because that’s what you accused me of doing with Shiro! I tolerated it for dinner because quiznak knows despite how everyone reacted, they all probably wanted to run, so the last thing they needed was to think that you were arguing with your whore. Hunk and Shay had the right idea. I don’t care if it’s petty, but you really hurt my feelings. It’s bad enough we have this stupid security leak the moment we fucking come back to this place. Not to mention it was publicly announced I was fucking Klearo before I murdered him. So tell me where in there I have the mental strength to be having this fucking fight right now. You can walk next to me, but if you touch me, I will have Kosmo teleport me somewhere else. I don’t care if I spend the whole night throwing up because of it because it’d be better than having you touch me right now! Dios. I told you I don’t want to fight!”

Ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks, Lance picked up the pace as he continued forward. Keith felt physically ill from his husband’s words. It’d been a long time since he’d felt so insignificant or hurt. Part of him, the part of him he’d learned to control since his days as a moody teen, wanted to head to the training room and train until he had nothing left. That was only due to the fact that his other desire was to punch the shit out of the closet wall while screaming out his frustrations. He loved him. He loved Lance. Lance had a secondary set of instincts, just like he did, yet he didn’t... they weren’t the same. Lance was softer with him than anyone else. Lance could heal his heart in a way that no one else ever could, but he could also tear his heart to pieces by unplucking each and every one of those threads he’d used to patch him back together. He’d been stupid. He’d been jealous and lashed out foolishly. How long was this going to be held against him? He regretted the words. Shiro had even said something about ring shopping for Curtis. Lance was made to shop. If someone were to examine his husband’s DNA, he was sure they’d discover the genetics for ”shopaholic” in there. It might have been impromptu, yet the compulsion had been there. Shiro wanted a life with Curtis, and like his brother, he should have said something to congratulate him... but at the same time, once again, he was jealous that he hadn’t been there. Shiro was his brother. This was the kind of thing Shiro would have once told him first. Now Shiro and Lance had bonded in a way that left him out, and instead of admitting it, he’d fucked it all up. He didn’t know how to have a family. He didn’t know how to have whatever all of this was. Lance knew that. Surely he should have been cut some slack!? Right? He could have died not that long ago. Lance could have died. He was allowed to still jolted from that fact. The idea of losing Lance... He couldn’t live without his husband. Lance was the other half of him, constantly encouraging him, constantly there for him. Constantly seeking Keith’s hold for reassurance... yet now his husband didn’t want him... and he didn’t know how to fix that.

*  
Keith’s room was cordoned off, as was the hallway it was on. Standing at the edge of the area, Kolivan wasn’t who they’d expected to be there. For Lance, he found it relieving. Krolia would take one look at them and know they weren’t talking, where we Kolivan was too... “Kolivan” for that. Pointedly ignoring Keith, Lance stopped just short of the man who was basically his “step-father-in-law”. He didn’t know what to call it. As far as he knew, Krolia and Kolivan weren’t married, yet the ran the whole empire together, and they had their first child together coming... so he might as well be  
“What did you find?”  
“Lance. Keith. A scan of Keith’s quarters revealed a listening device in his bathroom. A secondary listening device was found between his bed and mattress. Both devices are Galra technology, though outdated by at least a decade. Both were also set to auto-destruct upon discovery. We utilised frequency blockers and they have been removed for examination. As a precaution, the entire area is being examined. With dignitaries from across the universe converging for tomorrow’s Gala, it is possible that the devices were placed by any of the factions. The rooms of the other former Paladins are being scanned as we speak to ensure that this is not of their doing. Unless there is something either of you would like to confess to”  
Lance shook his head. The exploding letter, shorted holopad and being hit in the head by something, came to mind. Though he was certain he had been hit in the head, he couldn’t say if that was a preordained attack against him. Then there was this news article, along with the first, yet the first seemed simply tabloid, as it didn’t state “sources”, unlike todays. Knowing Keith believed it all in his head, he had nothing to confess to Kolivan. Not about the listening devices, which was technically what Kolivan was enquiring about. There was also the issue with Keith’s comms... that he’d been forced to think about more than he’d wanted to. He’d been prepared to accept it a weird space hiccup because Keith had been genuinely confused and then remorseful over missing his important appointments. It would all seem to point to someone on Keith’s team wanting him gone. The obvious choice being Krystaal, seeing that Krystaal had obvious feelings for Keith... and which Lance was certain Keith returned to some extent. With how attentive Keith had been, he’d been prepared to bite his tongue over the whole “Krystaal thing”, as he believed Keith when he said nothing had happened. Thanks to his husband’s earlier accusations, Lance was wondering if attempting to pin an affair on him was his husband’s way of telling him that he, himself, had been unfaithful.

“No. I’ve used Galra listening devices before for work, but I’ve never set one up in the palace to spy on Keith. Ours are modified, and with the castle systems, I assumed they’d be jammed. Plus, I’m sorry to say, but I’m more interested in information on my sector than I am here”  
Kolivan gave him nothing. The man was a damn ice wall  
“Keith?”  
“No. I have no need to bug my own quarters. I trust Lance completely. Besides, we’ve been away. Any signal strong enough to reach from here to the outpost would have been picked up and logged. Even on an encrypted signal...”  
“Alright. I was ensuring you both hadn’t set this up as some kind of thing between you. You won’t be able to sleep here tonight. Krolia would never allow it. She has prepared a chamber closer to the inner sacrum for you both”  
Keith was useless with directions  
“Sorry, Kolivan. I don’t know where that is”  
“Not to worry. Keith does”  
Yeah... that would be a no. Lance doubted his husband could have led them from the dining room to the bedroom if he’d been in charge  
“And if he doesn’t?”  
Kolivan raised an eyebrow, taking Keith’s silence to mean yes  
“I will have you escorted”

Being escorted wasn’t fun. Lance’s stomach was rumbling as it demanded food. Keith was still silent. The Blade member leading them was silent, and there were quiznakking stairs. Too many stairs. Any stair over the number of one stair, was too many stairs. He was tired. His body was exhausted. His pain level increased due to fatigue and Keith’s stupid scent was only serving to make his heart race further. Deciding to be a real quiznakking arsehole, fake contractions left his belly feeling all that more uncomfortable. He’d hoped to have a bath before bed to ease the pain. He’d also hoped to have a bath to wash away the hurt of Hunk taking off without listening to how the pregnancy came to happen. Pidge had been far too accepting, yet the man who claimed to still be his “best bro” had run at the first chance he had. They’d most likely discussed him before he’d join them, and were most likely discussing him even now... Why was it every time he thought he was getting somewhere in life, that found himself blindsided with some bullshit like this?

Krolia accepted “custody” of them when they arrived at what would be their new room. Kosmo an excited mess as he wagged his way over to Lance, Lance far too tired to deal with his fur son who threw himself at his feet as if he’d die without attention. Eyeing him, Krolia could see how hard Lance was shaking with the effort to stand  
“Lance, why don’t you head in? I’ve personally checked the room, there are no devices here, and limited personal who know your location for the night. Tomorrow you’ll be able to return to Keith’s room, where you probably will feel more comfortable, but for tonight your safety, and Keith’s, is our top priority”  
“Thanks, Krolia. Please tell me this room has a bath?”  
“Naturally. Do you mind if I borrow Keith for a moment?”  
Lance yawned widely. Nope, he didn’t mind. He didn’t want to be fighting with his husband as it was. He’d asked Keith not to push, yet he had. He always did, though their fight didn’t often hurt as badly as this one was  
“Mumma K, I know there’s Galra things that I don’t need to know about, or shouldn’t know about. It’s honestly completely fine. Take as long as you need, I’m going for a bath”  
“You’re family, Lance. I just want to run through what he needs to do tomorrow morning. Did he tell you how he spent his afternoon being fitted for his new suit? The only time I’ve seen him that jittery before was when it concerned you. I don’t have your bath lotions here, but I recommend the green liquid. It’s a muscle soak and calmative that I’m quite fond of. Especially on those nights when you’re too uncomfortable to sleep. Use it like a bubble bath”  
“That sounds amazing. Thank you. I’m so ready for bed, these twins have been playing havoc with my stomach all day”  
Krolia gave him a sympathetic smile  
“I can imagine. If there’s anything you’re not sure of, or if you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to ask me. You’re my second son remember. I’m thrilled for both you and Keith, yet I also know how the baby blues can be. All those thoughts and fears. Every mum feels that way. I’m still scared for this little one after how long it took to conceive. Now go rest, you should be resting as much as your body tells you too”  
“If I did that, I’d never get out of bed. The exhaustion and nausea hasn’t gotten any better really... ‘night, Krolia”  
“Good night, Lance. I’ll see you in the morning”  
“Let’s make that the afternoon”  
Krolia laughed, hitting the door pad for him, Lance shooting her the best smile he could before hobbling in. Bathing while sleepy could be dangerous, yet falling asleep in the tub seemed like the best idea he’d had all quintant.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hands up who’s an idiot? I’m an idiot!
> 
> But Krolia and Lance bonding time? Sign me the fark up!

Keith wasn’t sure Lance had slept that well as he’d woken to find himself alone in the bed. The room didn’t feel like his, the scents unfamiliar and there were no photos of him and Lance to wake up to. That was nearly as bad as waking up disoriented then realising he didn’t have the real Lance by his side. His husband had been in the bath as he’d changed and got ready for bed. Sleep hadn’t come that easy for him, even once Lance had joined him. The sheets were wrong. Too itchy and stiff... lacking in the softness and weight he’d grown used to when sharing a bed with Lance. Lance had the best blankets. He also had the best cuddles, and Keith was suffering from a distinct lack of husband cuddles given his husband wasn’t there to cuddle. His world wasn’t right as he climbed from the bed, feeling annoyed with himself for not noticing Lance sliding out without him. Though, that was semi-normal now... unfortunately... Still, to put a positive on it all, with his baby bump, there was more of Lance to cuddle. His husband was adorably overreacting to his stomach size. Sure, Lance wasn’t exactly small, and that may have been attributed to the fact their children carried Galra blood, but if his husband tried, he could see his “missing” feet.

Assuming Lance was in the bathroom, Keith knocked softly, counting to 30 mentally before opening the door to find the space devoid of his husband. Swearing softly, he pushed himself back off the doorframe  
“Lance?!”  
There wasn’t a whole lot of places his husband could be. The room they were in was smaller than his own. There were only a limited amount of places his husband could hide, and if not the bathroom, then there was just the wardrobe left. His new suit hanging proudly off the open door. Keeping his steps light, Keith crept over to the wardrobe. This wouldn’t have been the first time Lance had sought out a small and enclosed space as he didn’t feel safe. Opening the door with a nudge of his foot, he’d been right in his second guesstimate correct. Sitting up with his back against the wardrobe side, Lance gripped one of his blades. Between his outstretched legs, Kosmo was laying with his head resting on Lance’s stomach. The pair barely fitted in the enclosed space, the wardrobe not made for a sleeping Lance, let alone a sleeping Lance and a husband kidnapping cosmic wolf. Tugging the blade from Lance’s hand, his husband jolted awake, the blade nicking the top of Keith’s middle finger as Lance shrank back. The sharp narrowing of his eyes that of a predator readying to strike rather than of simple confusion upon awakening  
“Lance. Hey, it’s me, Keith... You’re safe. We’re in the spare room. It’s me, you and Kosmo. You’re safe”  
Keith sighed to himself as Lance let him take the blade from his hand. He missed the days when all he had to worry about was Lance being armed with a blaster. A blaster had more places for him to grasp that were less likely to end up with his fingers, or hands, cut in the process. Not that he couldn’t handle a little cut.

“What are you doing?”  
Tilting his head slightly, Keith made a show of groaning as he stood and stretched, treasure trail peaking out between his sweats and shirt as his back cracked  
“I had a quiznakking awful sleep, then woke to find you gone. I checked the bathroom, then I checked here. I didn’t want to send the whole palace after you, if you weren’t actually missing... I mean, I would, but I was trying to think of your feelings...  
Lance would have been pissed as hell if Keith had sent the whole palace after him. Again, he would have been accused of not trusting the man he loved. There had been a rising panic when Lance wasn’t in the bathroom, yet he’d remained calm enough to remember that his husband had done this before  
“I think the more important question is what you are doing here? You can’t be comfortable”  
“I couldn’t sleep... the room isn’t right”  
Keith understood that. There were few and far between places that Lance did feel safe. Quiznak, he was used to palace life and this room still managed to throw him off  
“Then why didn’t you wake me?”  
“I didn’t want to be annoying...”  
His husband was an idiot. Maybe Lance was still pissed at him...? He was best to play it slowly, calmly and not call Lance an idiot when he so clearly wasn’t ok with the sleeping arrangements, despite having Kosmo close at hand. If they hadn’t been fighting the previous night, then maybe he would have had the better idea of sleeping on the ship  
“You’re not annoying. Did you sleep at all?”  
“A varga... maybe two... in here. Didn’t trust out there...”  
“Babe... you need rest”  
“I can’t sleep here! I tried. I tried and it didn’t work. I can’t do it anymore”

Keith wasn’t sure how to interpret “anymore”. There was no “anymore” about it. Krolia had said it was overnight, did his husband mean that because he hadn’t slept well, he was scared that Keith was going to force him to spend the whole day in the room he was so clearly uncomfortable in? That seemed like a quiznakking dick move to him  
“Mum said it was overnight. It’s been a whole night now. We can go back to my room...”  
Lance shook his head, tugging on the sleeves of his shirt as he did  
“Krolia hasn’t told us it’s ok to leave. We can’t leave until she does”  
“Then sleep while we wait. I’ll stay awake. I’ll make sure no one touches you. You need rest”  
“What I need is to stop being this thing!”  
Snapping at him, Lance followed it up with a sad sigh  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that... you don’t deserve it. I’m the one with the issues. Just close the door and forget I’m here...”  
“Not happening”

Keith didn’t think through this whole “lifting” thing until Lance was half off the ground and he was realising that he had to pee. Straining under the awkwardness of getting his husband out the wardrobe did nothing to help his situation. Abandoning carrying him for propping him up, Keith supported Lance over to the bed where he pushed his husband down. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions, Lance’s legs hanging off the side of the bed, as he gazed up at him in confusion  
“Stay right here. I’ll be right back”  
“Where are you going?”  
“The bathroom. Just stay right there”  
“I don’t...”  
“Babe, two ticks and then we’ll head back to our room”  
“I don’t feel good”  
“Let me pee and I’ll we’ll get you all fixed up better”

Two tick turned out to be a lie. Keith had tried to keep things as fast as he could... but being cursed with dick meant trying to pee with morning wood... that wasn’t fun... and slowed him significantly. By the time he’d cleaned up where he’d managed to pee on his feet, something that absolutely didn’t happen and never needed to be mentioned, and headed back out, Lance was curled on his side around Kosmo. Their fur son between him and the door, as if Kosmo was his shield against everything he didn’t want to deal with. With it easier to climb across the bed to reach Lance, than it was to walk around, Keith padded over softly then proceeded to do just that. Waiting for Krolia wasn’t going to happen. Lance wasn’t comfortable, he could taste it in the air that his husband was only growing steadily more distressed now he out the wardrobe  
“Babe, you ready to go?”  
Laying his hand on Lance’s head, Lance jerked away with a growl. Kosmo head butting the Cuban in the chin, as he tried to look of his shoulder at his human. Rubbing at the spot, his husband relaxed into holding Kosmo again. His face hidden against Kosmo’s thick blue fur  
“Shit... Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Please... I can’t stay in here... I can’t... I don’t feel good... I don’t think I can wait for mum...”  
“That’s because you stayed up all night instead of letting me take care of you”  
“You needed sleep... I couldn’t sleep...”  
“I didn’t sleep that well”  
“I know...”  
Keith gave Lance a small smile before realising he couldn’t see it. Stupid husband stealing cosmic wolves  
“Babe, where you watching me sleep?”  
“Couldn’t... couldn’t calm down...”  
“Did you try that stuff... that bath stuff?”  
“It made me itchy”  
And here he’d hoped his mother would be right. That it’d soothe Lance enough for him to sleep. He’d gotten pretty good at falling asleep... and yet the night he most needed sleep... They were lucky they had the whole day for Lance to sleep. All Keith had to do was make an appearance at the mid-morning coalition meeting  
“Ok. I know you don’t feel good, but can you walk or do you want Kosmo to help?”  
“I don’t know... I’m sorry... I’m so stupid... Klearo should have killed me...”  
“No! No... Babe... Quiznak. Don’t ever say that. Life’s gotten better, hasn’t it? I, mean... I know I hurt you yesterday. I know I’ve probably fucked up a million times, but... it’s better than it was, isn’t it?”  
“You’re good... too good for me...”

Prying Lance off Kosmo, Keith pulled him between his legs. Lance’s side against his chest as he cradled his husband close  
“No, babe. No, I’m not. I’m struggling and trying... but you... you’re the good one. You’re the one who’s always had my back. My stability through everything has always been you. I lost my head yesterday, and I wish I’d never said any of it. I took my bad mood out on you when you were trying to do something positive. I’m going to have Kosmo take us back to our room, where you’re going to rest. Everything will seem better with some sleep... I promise”  
“I feel so shitty”  
“I don’t know. I thought you feel kind of perfect up against me like this”  
“I can’t... not right now”  
“Shhh. I’m not asking for anything, ok. Kosmo, come here...”  
Entwining Lance’s fingers in Kosmo’s fur, Keith made sure Lance was firmly against him.  
“Kosmo, take us back to my room”

Lance went into panic mode. Trying to fight him as Kosmo made the trip on far too many bursts. Training had increased the distance that they could travel, yet the silly mutt didn’t know his way around the palace. They were lucky not to teleport into some dignitaries breakfast, as the popped from room to room until Kosmo finally got it right. Travelling by Kosmo was meant to be the less taxing way to get his husband back to where he felt safe, though they both felt violated by the listening devices, Lance associated his room with him and safety. Confused and inundated by strange scents, his husband’s first act upon finally coming to a stop was to throw a punch, trip, half fall on his good knee, fight Keith’s hand, then panic so hard that he screamed for “Klearo to release him”. This was then followed by Lance throwing up and passing out against Keith’s shoulder. Kosmo, for his part, looked remorseful. With his head hung, he slowly walked over to his bed, curling up and facing the wall in some kind of “time out”. Getting Lance back up, his husband remained unconscious as he carried him to the bathroom. What a quiznakkingly shit way to start the day.

Getting Lance clean, he found scratch marks on his husband’s inner thighs and along the base of his stomach. The skin an angry welted mess that couldn’t have been comfortable at all for him. Without knowing how to treat it, Keith figured it was best to simply ensure the area was completely clean and patted dry before putting his husband to bed in just a shirt, so he’d have some form of modesty. The mess left in the bathroom only added to Keith’s forming headache. He was sick to death of the cast on Lance’s leg. They’d originally planned to be coming back this morning, that way Lance would only be getting through one day of navigating the palace on crutches, then into the pod the following day. Knowing how his husband loathed being placed in a pod to begin it, it was highly tempting to place him in now and let miss all the stress of the Gala that night... only, he was selfish. Keith had been to many of these formal coalition events, and each time, he felt significantly inferior to everyone there. He wanted the support of his husband, over this award he still didn’t want. When he stood upon the stage to make his speech, he wanted to know Lance was supporting him in the crowd, and that moment he stepped down from the unwanted attention, that his husband’s welcoming arms would there to catch him. Yet thanks to his attitude and that bogus article, Lance was trapped in a waking hell. Klearo popping up like the unwanted turd he was. Forcing himself away from Lance, Keith showered, then mentally flipped the world off as he climbed into bed to cuddle his husband. When he found whoever had planted the listening bugs, he hoped his mother would leave him with them long enough to castrate them for upsetting Lance. 

*  
Lance was sleeping fitfully as Keith watched over him. His husband didn’t want to be touched, yet whined for him if he moved that fraction too far away. Holding hands was the limit of Lance’s tolerance for touch, Keith elbowed for being too cuddly. Though more settled in their room than they had been in the visitor’s room, their room was now tainted by the scents of the blade members who’d been in and out of their personal space. Keith’s instincts hated it. Hated them. His husband wasn’t supposed to be surrounded by the scents of others, not when he was Keith’s. Lance should smell of him, and only of him. They’d been like this for the last varga or so, so when Krolia came knocking, Keith could only shove down his misdirected anger as his mother shuffled in.

Sitting on his side of the bed, his usual side as Lance’s side was always the side closest to the bathroom, his mother seemed to understand that she needed to keep it down for Lance’s sake. Despite it being rude, Keith remained with his back towards her, not wanting to move in case he woke his sleeping lover  
“Rough night?”  
“He was too unsettled to sleep. This article thing has messed him up... and I said something that I never should have yesterday...”  
“I’m shocked. Never have you put your foot in it before”  
“Mum, this isn’t... this isn’t something I can laugh off”  
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think”  
“I screamed at him. Made him think he was a whore. He refused to let me touch him because all that stuff was brought up again. He was wishing Klearo had killed him again. If you can laugh that off, you can get out”  
“I don’t think I know what to say. No wonder he didn’t look well last night”  
“He’s feeling worse this morning. He’s scratched himself raw from using that bath stuff last night. He didn’t sleep because his instincts didn’t let him. Kosmo couldn’t teleport us straight back here. He’s had everything go wrong apart from a seizure. Something I’m not completely sure isn’t going to happen. Do you know where I found him sleeping, in the wardrobe of that room because he didn’t feel safe. He wanted to stay there and wait for you to approve us leaving, but he’d stressed himself to the point of a breakdown”  
“Then I guess I can’t ask you to wake him up. We need to have a little chat”  
“I’m not waking him up”  
Keith’s voice was firm, a tad too loud for Lance’s liking as he whimpered in his sleep  
“He’s not well mum. The only reason he’s not in a pod now is because he’s so scared of them. He’d never forgive me if he missed tonight’s Gala. The Gala that he doesn’t even want to go to but is going because he wants to support me”

Krolia took a deep breath, Keith’s heart sinking at the sound. Good news would be good right about now  
“About that... I talked to Shiro this morning. The original article has been taken down, and while you both did warn that something like this may happen, now that it has, there are a few dignitaries concerned that aspects of the article are true. Namely the manner in which Lance dispatched Klearo, after being in a romantic relationship with him. We have assured them that was not the case, and that Klearo’s death was on account of buying a small child whom he planned to molest. We have spoken with a few of our closest allies, who will watch over him tonight...”  
“Absolutely not!”  
Keith was revolted. His scent shifting so strongly that Lance tore his hand away  
“You haven’t heard the plan...”  
“I’ve heard enough. You want Lance to suffer the Gala alone so you can see who approaches him. You know he’s not coping. How do you know that no one’s going to fucking hurt him?”  
“Because he won’t be alone. Not the whole night. He will appear on your arm. Both of you accompanying Kolivan and I. Your team of recruits will be watching him whilst you receive your awards. We have determined that that is the most likely time they will act, if anyone does act”  
“Then let him take Kosmo. He feels better when he’s with Kosmo. Kosmo knows when he’s about to have a seizure, or when a panic attack is forming. He knows when to take Lance out of a situation. He knows who’s friend and foe”  
“We can’t risk having Kosmo attack someone again. We were lucky that Curtis was understanding enough to accept he was trying to protect Lance, without knowing the full details of the situation”  
“I don’t want him alone”  
“He won’t be. This is why I was hoping to have a talk with him”  
Keith was scowling. Lance’s brow was drawn as if his husband could see his expression  
“You know full well that he’d go along with any plan if he thought it’d help you”  
“I do. I also want him prepared on the off chance something happens”  
If his mother wasn’t going to step up and protect her son-in-law, then Lance needed an edge  
“Then give him a weapon”  
Weapons were strictly banned at coalition events. With the mistrust still held when it came to the Galra, it was unlikely that security would be carrying anything more powerful than a stun blaster  
“You know the rule”  
“He has a Blade. He usually keeps one in each boot. It’s only about as long as his hand”  
Krolia sighed, Keith, feeling his heart lift. It was her “sigh of consideration”, after all. Keeping him hanging for several long ticks, she finally answered  
“One blade. Have him wear it up his left sleeve. I also want you both on your best behaviour. We need to regain the confidence of the coalition”  
“Someone in the coalition is responsible for those devices”  
“And until we know who it was, we need to err on the side of caution”  
“This is ridiculous. You had to know who placed them by now”  
“The devices had been wiped clean physically. There was nothing gandered once the devices were opened and confirmed to have been repurposed by rebel forces at some point. The scrambler has been modified against our systems, leaving us unable to trace where the data output went or when it started transmitting for that matter. Micro DNA particles, from both you and Lance, were discovered yet we know you’re not to blame for the installation”  
“How do you know that?”  
“Because you and Lance said as much. I trust your words”

Keith could have hugged his mother out of appreciation for the woman. Sure, her belief in them made it hard for him to be mad at her. Part of him still was, yet that maybe his own anger at himself bleeding over and stripping him of reason... No. No. His instincts kicking in to remind him that his husband would be mostly alone at the Gala as bait for a trap that could potentially cost him his life, all for the sake of the coalition that he really didn’t want much of anything to do with... A coalition that wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for Lance, to begin with.

“Before you ask, Hunk and Pidge will be on stage when you receive your awards. After the meal prepared following Hunk’s instructions last night, the coalition wants to give him an honourable mention. Pidge will be up there to assist with Shiro handing you your awards”  
“Wait. No one told me about that”  
“That’s why it’s a surprise. The coalition has a lot of faith in him. He’s seen as a beacon of hope for many”  
Gazing at his husband’s face, no one deserved to be recognised more for his actions than Lance did...  
“I don’t think he should go tonight. He’s going to worry himself sick when he sees everyone else up there”  
“Lance declined to accept any kind of award”  
“That’s not it. Last night was awkward. Hunk and Shay both walked out when they heard Lance was pregnant. Pidge wanted to experiment on him. Veronica... was angry, though that seems to be her default mood. Now we’re all going to be up there, being recognised for our hard work, when I’ve hurt him so badly while carrying out my duties. He let it go on for phoebs, mum. He let himself hurt and be hurt for phoebs. He’s the one who deserves the recognition. He deserves someone to stand up and point out all the good he’s done in his sector of space... It isn’t fair. They tortured him... they fucking broke him, and tonight I have to get a medal for everything that’s left him hating himself. I have to smile and pretend that my husband isn’t permanently brain-damaged because of the coalition. That he didn’t die. That he hasn’t tried to kill himself because we all left him behind and basked in the limelight. He used to live these kinds of things... And it’s not fair...”  
“I know it’s not. You made that very clear to me already. I don’t agree with awarding a medal relating to what happened with the Alteans, yet I agree that you should be recognised for your humanitarian work...”  
“That nearly destroyed our marriage. He’s been in the middle of a major depressive episode for 6 phoebs. Half a deca-phoeb. That’s... I don’t know how he still functions when he carries so much pain. I love him. I love him and I’m sick of the past fucking with this. I don’t know if I can do this”  
“You can and you will because you want the same thing we all do. For the war and fighting to the end. I need to head off, Kolivan is waiting for me. We’re having a late breakfast as we were too busy this morning. I’ll send someone to collect you soon. You’re still required to attend the coalition meet and greet this morning. It’s semi-casual, so wear a nice long-sleeved shirt and black pants. Your normal boots are acceptable. Bring your normal comms. If Lance wakes up before you go, bring him if he feels up to. If he doesn’t, let him rest”  
Lance was staying where he was safe. Where Keith knew where he was, and where Kosmo would attack anyone who dared come too close  
“I’m not taking him so he can be laughed at”  
“No one’s laughing, Keith. I’ll see you soon. If Lance wakes, let him know what’s going on, also... I think I have something more suitable for him to wear tonight. I’ll help him dress before the Gala”  
“I can dress him... I mean, he has suitable clothes already”  
“Maybe I’d like to spend some time with him?”  
Lance would damn near have a stroke at the prospect of being alone with Krolia  
“He’s anxious enough as it is”  
Krolia laughed, climbing off the bed and heading towards the bathroom as she did  
“Relax. I’m not taking him away or telling him off, I’m going to talk to him about pregnancy things. I want him to be able to talk to me, and if we wind up being slightly pampered in the process, all the better for us”  
“I don’t want you telling him about this plan of yours”  
“Lance and I will discuss it after you have discussed it with him. I want him to feel safe here”  
“So safe you’re using him as a pawn”  
“To apprehend those who’d want him harmed. You need to remember Keith, that an attack on him, is an attack on our family. Not just because he is carrying my grandchildren. I do care for him”  
“Sometimes I think you care about him more than me”  
There was no bitterness in Keith’s voice, his gaze at his husband soft and loving. He wanted to reach out tuck his husband's soft brown locks behind his ear, yet didn’t want to startle him, leaving him with the only option to watch over the object of his affection  
“I do have a certain soft spot for him, but you are my son by blood. Now let me go pee already. This is one thing I didn’t miss”  
Once again, Keith was infinitely grateful that he hasn’t wasn’t the one carrying. He wasn’t sure he could go through everything Lance had, without being a crying mess in the corner. Nor did he have the patience for this peeing business... If it’d been him, he would have noped the fuck out already.

*  
Spending the day sleeping, Lance didn’t feel refreshed when he was woken by Keith three vargas before the Gala was to begin. He found himself unable to stop jumping at every small noise or simple movement from his husband. Klearo’s face had haunted his dreams. His ex-employer was gurgling as he choked to death on his own blood, vowing to take away all Lance loved. From there, his dreams morphed into visions of Keith leaving, or dying. Both left him feeling raw. Watching his husband discard him now that he’d gotten what he’d wanted from him, their twins, cut deeper and stung harder than any form of torture he’d been through. Holding Keith tight, his husband was forced to baby him through getting up and getting ready, as Krolia wanted to talk with him before the Gala. His mental upset and physical need for Keith’s company, resulted in a varga long shower as he sought out physical comfort to soothe his pain. He hadn’t particularly been in the mood for sex, but once Keith’s fingers skimmed across his flesh, he wanted his husband to burn himself to the very depths of his soul. He wanted to Keith to chase away the demons and to not be reminded of the wound that he still carried. It was hard and it was filthy. Keith had tried to be soft with him. His husband washing his hair and body with such kindness, he could have cried. Peppered kisses rained down on his face as Lance apologised repeatedly for his past, and Keith apologised for losing his head to his instincts. Wrung dry by his husband’s lips, Lance lost himself in the sensation of the moment. Keith then pinning him up against the shower wall, riding him hard until everything blurred together and his pain was washed down the drain like the remnants of their passion. He didn’t want to fall into old habits. He didn’t want to continuously be forced back to those dark places that that man’s name forced him to go. He didn’t want to be trapped feeling worthless and dirty, not when Keith had lashed out so stupidly.

Tired and sore in all the right, and wrong, places, Keith helped him dress. His husband sitting him on the edge of the bed. Starting by towelling his hair, Keith started with the rain of kisses again, playing hard to get when Lance started kissing his way up Keith’s abs... It wasn’t until he was dried off and wearing what he usually wore for pyjamas that Keith filled him in on Krolia’s plans, and that she wanted to spend a little time with him. His instincts instantly flared, screaming at him that he wouldn’t be safe if he wasn’t by Keith’s side. But there was no way he could say that. That would be like telling his husband that he didn’t trust Krolia. He did. And though pampering sounded nice, he wanted to be there for Keith because he knew his husband would be struggling with making an appearance at the Gala. The fact that Shay and Pidge hadn’t visited him was background noise compared to how deeply he wanted for the night to go off without a hitch for Keith’s sake. It would have been better if he could have taken Kosmo as his plus one, yet Krolia had already vetoed the idea before it’d even got off the ground. Wanting to reassure him, Keith made a show of getting dressed slowly in his suit. Keith had only grown sexier with age... unlike him who... was wearing his pyjamas and trying not to cry because his husband was too hot... The suit doing all kinds of things to him that he didn’t need going on when Krolia would be there at any tick. Running his hands over his stomach, Keith caught sight of the action, for a man who could walk any international catwalk and steal the show, he was completely whipped over the twins.

Keith wasn’t allowed to come with them when Krolia whisked him away. Opting for limping, over his crutches, Krolia kept her pace slow. The cast on his leg may only be a few millimetres thick, thanks to the wonders of technology, but his hips were sore from having his leg in a constantly straight position. That and all the weight he felt he was carrying in his lower back. Accepting that he was doomed to awkward small talk for the duration of their walk, Lance was too nervous to keep up with the conversation. He wanted to go back to Keith. There were too many Galra scents, with none of them the right one. The only scent from his husband he had close was Keith’s remaining scent on his body and clothes. It was enough to make him wish he’d stolen one of his husband’s jackets, or let Keith do that weird thing where he rubbed his wrists against his neck... anything to remind him of that safety Keith gave.

Krolia and Kolivan’s room was not what he expected. The space was a miniature apartment of their own. Maybe not miniature, yet completely self-contained. The first room they entered was office-like. Books, charts, maps, holopads and other Blade related items sat across the desks on both sides of the room. To the left was a closed-door, to the right the door was open, the far wall also contained a door, yet it wasn’t until Lance was being led towards the open door this eyes caught it. To him, it felt as if he was invading their space. He and Keith, what their room was to them, that was what he felt was invading as he stepped into Krolia and Kolivan’s quarters. The room wasn’t a bedroom, but another office space, more like an informal sitting room, though the elegance of the space was way too rich for his tastes. He’d grown up in Cuba, making so with what they had. Now he felt himself shrinking in as he tried not to mess up the place with his mere presence.

“You can relax. Kolivan is overseeing the Gala preparations”  
“Uh...”  
Squeaking, Lance kicked himself. The Cuban wasn’t sure if that made it all better or worse... or more like the start of a bad joke...  
“Lance, can I ask you a question? Do you dislike me?”  
Lance’s eyes widened, his heart thudding hard in his chest. Dislike Krolia!? What! No. No, he didn’t. Dislike her... Did she think he hated her? He didn’t. He was... anxious... but he... His anxieties are were causing Krolia pain...  
“No... No, I don’t dislike you”  
Mumbling, his eyes filled with tears  
“You never seem comfortable when I’m around... I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable”  
“You don’t!...”  
Clenching his fists, he yelled the words... Then blushed hard as he continued quietly  
“... You. I don’t dislike you. I’m... I’m scared of you...”  
Krolia laughed, waddling past him, she sat herself down on a plush chaise. Her hands-on her stomach as she gave him a crooked smile  
“You’re scared of me? I don’t know if I should be flattered or not. Lance, I mean you no harm”  
“I know that... I know and I’m sorry... It’s not... I don’t... You’re a total bad arse. You’re... You’re amazing. You’re amazing and strong, and I’m... I’m nothing... I’m scared one day you’re going to see how bad I am for Keith...”

Swaying on his feet, Krolia was up and by his side before he could fall. Guiding him to sit on the chaise beside her  
“I love him more than anything, but I’m this. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know Allura did to me... I’m not supposed to be like this, Krolia. You know what human males are like. I hate this. I hate pulling his moods down. I hate not knowing what I can say or do. I hate him always looking after me. I can’t... I can’t control myself like I used to. I don’t care if it’s brain damage, I should be better than this. I fought and trained and it was never ever enough. I never should have been the Blue Paladin. Can you imagine how much better things would have been if it’d been you? How much stronger Voltron would have been from the start. I hate being scared of stupid things. Pointless things. I should know that this place is safe. I should know that I’m not about to be attacked here. I hate that I can’t forget. I don’t want him being dragged into a bad situation because of me, Krolia. Not again... I’m sorry. I don’t hate you. I never hated you... I just... don’t want you to see me for me. I’m not good enough for him, Krolia... I’m not. That article proves it... Everyone saw that. Everyone thinks... He thought it was true... He asked me if the twins were Shiro’s”

Groaning a groan he’d heard far too many times from his mother whenever they’d done something she didn’t approve of, Krolia awkwardly hugged him. His stomach was in the way, her stomach was in the way, he didn’t want to be hugged and Lance wasn’t sure why she’d want to. He felt as awkward as he’d felt in the hallway, then twice as awkward as he’d felt when he stepped into Krolia and Kolivan’s lives. Given no one was about to let him go back to his outpost where he belonged, he tried his damn hardest not to flinch when Krolia kissed his hair. Her breath across his ear, causing goosebumps to erupt across his arms. Swallowing hard, Lance stayed as still as he could  
“Lance, I would like to sincerely apologise for my stupid son. Keith doesn’t excel under social pressures, nor does he excel at letting you out of his sight”  
“No... He doesn’t... I’m sorry. I respect you. I respect you so much I don’t know what to say. I promise you, I love him”  
“Lance, I know you love him. I know you’re as crazy about my son, as he is about you. Now, I have a question. Can you swear those things you’ve done, that you regret, that you won’t do them again?”  
He’d already fucked that up. He’d relapsed. He hadn’t been smart or safe with some of his decisions...  
“I can’t promise... something I’ve already broken”  
“See, if you’d lied, then we might have had a problem. We all make mistakes. Some mistakes we make over and over, hoping things might be different, but you need to remember that no one is perfect. Keith isn’t perfect. Yet all those things you hate, you love about him. All those times he’s been an idiot and you could have killed him for it, you still love him, because you accept his imperfections. You’re still young. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to mess up”  
“When I mess up, people die”  
“And people die even when things go according to plan. You’re a brave man. A brave, smart, talented young man. You suffered for so many years because you care so much for everyone you. You say you respect me, but I respect you too, Lance. I saw Keith’s memories. I saw the way you worked so hard to be better. I saw how hard my idiot son was falling for you, without saying anything at all. Keith loves you. Whatever you’ve been through, he loved you before all of it. Don’t forget that”  
“I’m scared he loved me before, but only holds onto me because he still sees me as the same person I used to be, not who I am now”  
“He’s an idiot, but he’s always seen you. Now, I was hoping you wouldn’t shower before coming. I’d planned to pamper both of us. I think we deserve it. The men in our lives... they do try their best, yet... they don’t quite understand how miserable you can feel when you’re pregnant”  
“You... get that way too?”  
Krolia squeezed him tight, then released him  
“Oh boy. Kolivan could tell you tales that would turn your hair white. I was craving salt, and he ate the last of my potato chips. He ended up pinned to the wall with my blade until I could be bothered forgiving him”

Lance snorted as he wiped at his face. There was no way that goo loving Kolivan would be eating an Earth junk food  
“That didn’t happen”  
“No. In my head it did. He tried to apologise, but you know what it’s like when you’re looking forward to something, only to find it gone. I didn’t forgive him until he had a crate sent from Earth”  
“Kolivan did that?”  
“Don’t tell him, but I watched the call security footage. His embarrassment was enough for me to forgive him. The potato chips were an added bonus. He’s so excited about this baby”  
“Forgive me, but I haven’t seen a whole lot of... facial expressions from him”  
“Kolivan can be very expressive”  
“Ew!!! Mumma K! No!”  
Shoving Krolia’s shoulder lightly, Krolia laughed him off. He didn’t need to know about his husband’s mother’s sex life  
“Mumma K is new. I like it. I want you to know you can talk to me, Lance. About Keith. About this pregnancy. All of it. I’m grateful to you, and your family. He’s been through so much hurt, yet, Miriam accepted him so easily. You’re good for him. And these twins, you’re going to be great fathers”  
“I don’t know if I am. He’s so happy, and I’m... I’m not. Everything hurts. I keep throwing up. My gums feel like their stuffed full of toothpicks. My stomach hurts and I’m tired... like all the quiznakking time”  
“Yep. That sounds about right”  
“Does it get better?”  
Krolia kissed his forehead  
“When you hold your baby for the first time, everything else fades away. Now come with me, I’ve got a surprise for you... after I go to the bathroom again”

Krolia’s surprise was twin massage tables in her and Kolivan’s room. Lance wasn’t sure at first, but being told he could keep his clothes on had him caving. Keith would massage his whole body down if he asked. He knew he would. But that would be making work for his husband, so that was why he was almost always the one offering. That, and he loved the way Keith’s skin felt under his fingers. He loved the way his husband dropped his guard and turned into a great big lump of... relaxation? As if he was a cat high on catnip. Massaged within an inch of his, in the best possible way, that wasn’t the end of Krolia’s pampering. Both of them being manicured and pedicured, while face masked. Lately, his skin had been feeling on the greasy side, and with his depression, self-care had felt too much effort... and like an undeserved treat. As they were pampered, Lance finally got up his courage, asking Krolia to explain Galra pregnancies to him. Keith had been robbed of any kind of traditions on his mother’s side of the family, he wanted to understand so he could teach his husband. He wanted to show him that he cared and respected his culture and heritage, as Keith did his. Not realising that the Gala reception has started, and that both Keith and Kolivan were waiting for them, Krolia sprung one final surprise on him. Coming out from washing off his face mask and peeing, something he’d been dying to do since before his feet went into the foot spa, both of them were sat in front Krolia’s massive table. The mirror and the lights looked like something that came out of a movie. Ashamed of how eager he looked, his mood fell. Krolia reaching over to take his hand  
“If this is too much, you don’t have to worry about offending my feelings. On Altea, Keith mentioned how you wanted to have your hair cut. I’ve been keeping it in the back of my mind since. I don’t have anyone to do these things with. Acxa... She’s like the daughter I never had, yet she refuses anything more than a manicure. It’s nice to have someone who appreciates these things and have someone to talk to”  
“You’re so bad arse, that I didn’t think you’d be into these kinds of things...”  
“You know as well as I do, that we deserve some rest after all we’ve done. Besides, image and appearance is important to the coalition. They’re paying the bill”  
Lance wrinkled his nose in distaste  
“I don’t want anything to do with them”  
“No, but they owe you far more than one day of pampering”  
“They turned their backs on me...”

Lance was well aware of how pouty he sounded. The coalition could waste all its money on him as far as he was concerned... or even better, gift it to him so he could regift it into something tangible for those with nothing. Great. Now he was feeling guilty thinking of those still in poverty while he was being pampered  
“It’s their loss. I saw the plan you had for that training exercise. It was well thought through. There were some aspects that could have been improved upon, but I could see how it was all meant to come together. Personal skills and pride are important, yet so is knowing when to admit you need help. You have more talent then that you for bringing people together, and keeping them together”  
Lance blushed. Krolia was exactly the woman he thought she was, an amazing badarse  
“Uh... thanks. You too...”  
“Good. Now let’s keep them waiting a little longer. We still need to get dressed”  
“Keith mentioned you had something for me to wear. You’re not going to send me out in Galra pyjamas or something? Or some kind of robe that is nightwear?”  
“No! Though it is somewhat tempting... I wish I’d thought of that sooner”  
Lance rolled his eyes  
“Admit it. You thought of it”  
Bringing her thumb and middle finger together on her right hand, Krolia smiled  
“Maybe a little bit. His father wouldn’t have been amused if I’d played a prank on his son-in-law”  
Lance swallowed hard at the mention of Keith’s father. Despite the man being long gone, he still remanded very much in Keith’s mind  
“Would he have liked me? At the shack, Keith had a few moments where things were hard for him. Having the memories of him and his father, as well as him and I. It hit him hard. I didn’t know what to say. I’m sure he would have been proud of the man Keith has become”  
“I’m certain he would have, and he would have proud as hell of the man that Keith has become”  
Nodding to himself, a thought came to mind. A selfish thought that might hurt Krolia, causing her to hate him... A selfish thought had formed all because of her  
“In that case, I need to ask a favour...”


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m off on another adventure, heading south this time for the next two days. I really wanna get in and edit this beast but I just haven’t had the time and it annoys me.
> 
> Thank you to those still here and still reading, despite the lack of editing. I am sincerely grateful to each of you.

-

They were late for the Gala. They were late for the Gala and Keith was annoyed. After pacing back and forth what surely must have been a thousand times, dodging Kolivan’s silently judging expression, by staring at his feet, Keith loathed the fact that we’re now a varga late for the Gala that they were throwing. He wasn’t rushing to be at the event. Not in the slightest, and if it wasn’t for the ridiculous monkey suit he’d stuffed himself into being too much effort to take off, he may have made a run for it by now, ruining the hard work of Shiro and Curtis, the pair coming to keep him company after Krolia had stolen his husband. The pair had already been alone for nearly 4 vargas, surely they’d long run out of things to talk about. At this stage, he wondered if Krolia had drugged Lance or seen sense and removed him from the palace for his own safety.

Appearing out of the door that led to his mother’s chambers, Krolia was dressed in flowing robes made from fabric that almost looked like liquid. Starting at a metallic purple along the bottom, the colour grew darker into black around his mother’s shoulders, the front of the robes dipping to show far too much of his mother’s chest and a rather distastefully large gemmed necklace, while the back had a raised collar which sat in line with the top of his mother’s marks. Her hair swept up into an intentionally messy bun, three silver pins holding it back on the right side, the bigger one had some kind of weird flower hanging off it by a chain, her slanted fridge slightly curled on the left and the bit behind her ear on the left had been left long. Had Lance been there, he would have been able to describe Krolia’s appearance better, yet Keith was mostly clueless about fashion and hairstyles, so all he could say was that she looked every bit the dignified ruler of Daibazaal that she was. Smiling at him... nope, at Kolivan as she bypassed him in favour of walking over to her husband, Krolia took Kolivan’s hand in hers  
“Can you see the listening device?”  
Checking the large silver hairpin, Kolivan shook his head  
“No. You look exquisite. Is your camera in place?”  
Krolia tapped against the gaudy red gem on her chest, the colour swirling into a deep purple, set off by the shimmering diamonds around the frame  
“Done. I wish I could have worn my boots. These shoes feel too light”  
“It’s only for the next 5 vargas and 37 doboshes”  
“Don’t I look worth it?”  
Kolivan spluttered, Keith, feeling a twinge of sympathy for him. Kolivan promptly “downgrading” Krolia as he tried to cover his embarrassment  
“Y-you look good. Good. Adequate. Fine”  
“Thanks. I’m carrying our child, yet I’m only adequate. Lance was much kinder with his words. Maybe I should take him as my date tonight, and leave you two to it”  
Keith and Kolivan both cast a glance towards each other then looked away. It was torturous enough to attend the Gala. Neither of them particularly wanted to attend without their partners. Scratching the back of his head, Keith supplied  
“Mum, you look... good. I mean, nice. Really nice. Yeah”  
He wasn’t much better than Kolivan, but nice had to be better than “adequate” or “fine”  
“Thank you, Keith. Lance! You can come out now!”

There were moments in life when Keith had his breath taken away. Generally, they were from a hard blow to the solar plexus, amidst battle or because he’d done something stupid. Then Lance shuffled out and his breath was taken away for all the right reasons. Wearing a thigh-length rich purple Altean styled tunic with silver and white trimming, and a ridiculously well-fitting pair of black pants, Lance’s outfit was much plainer than that of Krolia’s in Galra terms, yet his husband looked like a prince as he shifted nervously. Keith was just as nervous. He wasn’t sure that it was Lance standing in front of him with his perfectly “naturally” styled hair. Keith knew that if he was to reach out and stroke his husband’s cheek, his skin would be as smooth and soft as it looked. Mumbling, Lance appeared composed despite his obvious anxieties. His outfit seemed to shoulder the burden of his husband’s depression and throw it far from the Cuban  
“D-Do I look ok? It’s technically your mother’s shirt, but all Altean’s dress similarly... I can go change if you don’t like it... Krolia said it looked ok, plus it kind of hides my stomach. I... I look stupid. I know it. I’m going to get changed”  
Opening his mouth, Keith didn’t remember the English language. He had no words. His mouth closing as he frowned deeply. It was the same kind of shirt he’d seen a dozen times on Coran, on all the Altean’s. The same kind of shirt Lance had worn before... Lance might be a little on the thin side. He might have 7 out of 8 fingers. His eyes might be so ridiculously blue that it seemed he was wearing contact and his hair might be a fluffy rebellious mess come morning... He shouldn’t be wordless... tongue-tied... stripped of his ability to speak... simply because his husband looked so handsome. He knew he was handsome. Things other people may judge him over, Keith accepted and loved because he loved him.

“Lance, I don’t think that’s the problem. I think you’ve rendered him mute with how good you look”

Nodding at his mother’s words, his walk was stiff as he moved to stand in front of Lance  
“Babe?”  
“Good... You look good... bello...”  
Mentally Keith groaned, understanding Kolivan’s pain. His breathy reply was somewhat pathetic. Lance’s eyes widened, cheeks taking on a slight red hue  
“Did you just say “bello”?”  
“Uh... I think so. It came out... You’ve said it before”  
Keith’s own cheeks felt warm. Lance would fall asleep during their calls, a dopey smile on his lips that was hiding his pain  
“It’s, uh, it means beautiful”  
All those times. Lance kept calling him beautiful when he was leaving him all alone. He didn’t feel very “beautiful” over his actions  
“You are. Beautiful I mean. You look... really good. These clothes suit you”  
Lance ducked his head, Keith lifting his hand to gently push Lance’s chin up. His husband an anxious mess  
“Are you sure?”  
“Very. I’m the luckiest man in the Galaxy. I know they say that men don’t notice, but I like your hair”  
“Oh... Krolia organised everything. The coalition was paying”  
“Let them. I hope you got your monies worth”  
“Yeah... yeah, it was a good few vargas... Mumma K and I had a bit of a talk”  
Keith was sceptical that they’d done all that much talking. He hadn’t been able to get in that much solid conversation with his mother since returning home, and he was her son. They’d talked about Lance’s pregnancy, his fears of being a father. His fears over how small their twins were, and the fear that came with becoming big brother, about his new sibling, then about Lance having a fitful night sleep. When including the suit fitting, he technically had spent more time with her... yet it felt like whatever Krolia and Lance spoke of were deeper and more intimate  
“You did?”  
“Yeah. Do you know the Galra call their young “pups”?”  
“Mum mentioned it”  
“I think it’s kind of cute”  
“I think you’re kind of cute”

Kolivan cleared his throat, Keith jumping as he winced. Thoroughly embarrassed for acting so soppy in front of “Stone Faced Kolivan”. His someday stepdad wasn’t great with expressions, and he wasn’t much better when there was an audience of Kolivan  
“We need to leave. The Gala started at seventeen-hundred-hours. The time is now eighteen-thirty five”  
“Kolivan, we allotted between seventeen-fifteen and eighteen-fifteen for drink and arrivals. The award ceremony will begin at nineteen-hundred-hours. Can’t you see how taken Keith is with his husband? That was how you were supposed to look at me”  
Kolivan gave a dangerous sigh. He was flirting with danger when it came to upsetting Krolia  
“I was dear. Keith, are you ready to leave?”  
“Uh... yeah”  
He couldn’t take his eyes off Lance. Lance covering his mouth as he snort-laughed. It wasn’t a terribly attractive sound, yet Keith’s heart skipped a beat. Cocking his head in the side Lance poked him. Keith blinking, his husband grinning at him  
“Krolia, I think he’s broken”  
“I told you that you looked good. Don’t forget your crutches”  
“I was so close to being free of them”  
“One more night”  
“I know... So Keith, do you maybe want to come back to reality with the rest of us?”  
“You look really pretty”  
Laughing, Lance took his hand and Keith’s heart skipped all over again  
“Come on, Romeo. Let’s go get you that award”

*  
Entering the Gala, soft weird alieny orchestral music was playing. The space was draped with black and purple banners, the tablecloths silver, with overflowing centrepieces of black, pink, and purple flowers. Lance hadn’t known that palace had a ballroom, yet he supposed it was kind of obvious that a palace would, and now he was freaking the quiznak out. There were so many people. The space was absolutely massive. 40 or so tables were arranged in a semi-circle around the curving black stage. At the back of the stage was a large screen, showing various dignitaries in real-time at the party. The sound naturally muted because they probably didn’t want to embarrass anyone with the high chance of flowing gossip. Blushing as Keith moved his hand to the small of Lance’s back, he instantly tried to lean into him, as much as his crutches would allow  
“That’s a lot of people”  
Keith had paled at the size of the crowd, his husband seeking him out for comfort as Lance was him  
“Too many people. Would you like something to drink? Obviously not alcoholic, because you’re pregnant and now you’re glaring at me”  
There we’re things that obviously didn’t need to be said  
“One drink is not going to kill me. A juice would be nice though... but I should probably stick with water. Do you need to go?”  
Keith shrugged  
“Probably, but not until you’re settled. Would you prefer to sit or stand?”  
He’d been sitting or laying all day... He didn’t want to seem rude  
“Standing is fine. Krolia’s does pampering perfectly... I nearly dozed off more than once. Sitting would probably lead to sleeping”  
“Babe, if you want to sit, sit. Anyone who says anything...”  
Lance ducked his head, his husband was being unbearably nice  
“You’ll stab them. I know. But it’s ok, really. I’m your husband, and this night is to celebrate all the good you do. I’m proud of you, you know. Is it... okay if I stay by your side a little longer”  
Keith groaned at him  
“You can’t say stuff like that. I don’t know what to say back... You show up... and you look so good... and I have to contain myself as it is. I don’t know if I want to show you off. I don’t want people competing for your attention”  
“You’re an idiot. How many times do I have to tell you, you’re the one I want. No matter how many stupid things you say. Why don’t you escort me to the drinks table, then we’ll see who we see on the way”  
“I reserve the right to be pissed at anyone who hits on you”  
“You can be as mad as you like, as long as you understand that I have no intention of flirting back...”  
Reaching up, Lance raised his hair clip from under his collar  
“...I’m yours, remember. You’re wearing the matching clip. Stop worrying about my honour, and start worrying about the fact I’m thirsty”  
Tucking his necklace back in, Keith finally lost his glare towards the crowd. In a perfect world, he wouldn’t have to part from his husband’s side. They were in a room filled with strangers, yet there were some friends here. Hopefully, Curtis was free to hang out with, and hopefully, Veronica wouldn’t be able to locate him.

Whispers blossomed behind them as they made their way to the drinks table. Chewing the inside of his cheek, Lance focused on the feel of the sheathed blade up his sleeve. He knew his anxieties would be a bitch the moment they entered the space. He felt naked without his bodysuit, and playing bait left him with no appetite, despite having only grazed on snack type foods while being pampered. All he could do was force himself to breathe deeply through his nose, despite the assault of scents that brought. Opening his mouth might lead to him saying something he’d regret. Something that might embarrass Keith, or even endanger him. He might be forcing himself to play along, but he wanted this night to go as smoothly as possible. The coalition banners mocked him from their great heights around the space, black with their crisp white emblem standing out of place  
“Babe. If this gets too much, you can leave. You have a completely free pass for tonight where I won’t be a jealous dick. I would prefer you don’t leave alone, but if you need to go, you go”  
“I’m ok... I know they all read the article. I know someone here is less than impressed. I want to stay. I want to see you receive your award... I just need to focus on breathing”  
“Breathing is important. Please keep breathing”

Lance forced a strained smile. Honestly, it looked more like a grimace of pain  
“When you ask me so nicely, I can’t say no. I was thinking of trying to find Curtis. Do you think he’d be in trouble if I did? I don’t want him to get hurt”  
“What did Krolia say?”  
“That if they’re going to make a move, it’s more likely it’ll happen when I’m alone... If I stand alone during the ceremony, they might make a move, but if I’m like not too far away, that’ll be better for your instincts, won’t it?”  
Reaching the table, Keith plucked up two thin flutes of some kind of space wine. He could tell from the colour and consistency. Passing him the flute, his husband looked a little constipated  
“One drink. To be social. And yes. It would settle my instincts, but... I trust you. My instincts have been thrown into chaos, and I keep fucking things up. I know you can handle yourself, even with your leg in a cast, but please be careful. If you have a plan, trust your gut... but don’t... just don’t go getting hurt”  
Casting a glance around the room he didn’t like the sea of strangers. Everyone seemed to ooze pomposity. This was not his world at all. Trying to find a friendly face so he could be “dropped off” before the ceremony began Lance caught sight of Krolia talking with Shiro. Seeing him staring, Krolia made a gesture to Keith before waving him over  
“I don’t plan on getting hurt... Quiznak, your mother is waving you over. Shiro’s there”  
“He and Curtis came to make sure I wasn’t a wreck with you gone”  
Lance bit down a smile. Keith would have been... no wonder his suit and tie looked so perfect... Provided he wasn’t too tired when the Gala ended, Keith was getting laid. Lance was going to enjoy himself as he stripped his husband later. It was so rare for his husband to wear one, meaning he had to make the most of it. Bring his glass up, he clinked it against his husband, then downed the salty wine. Keith was quick to copy, both of them slamming down their glasses as they wheezed  
“Why is it so salty?!”  
“I don’t know! Who needs salted wine!”  
“I better not taste like this... you don’t taste like this”  
“I know I don’t! Dios! It tastes like the ocean after whales mate”  
“It tastes like Zethrid cooked dinner”  
“It tastes like you cooked dinner”  
Keith flushed red, Lance was smiling so hard it hurt... it was either that or his stomach trying to climb up and escape via his burning throat  
“You’re a douche”  
“I’d rather be a dick. I know you like those”  
Groaning at him, Keith blushed harder  
“I have to go on stage now”  
“I know. At least you’re not so nervous now. Gimme a kiss, then we’ll go see mum”

Keith shoved him back, before grabbing him by the arm and pulling him in for a firm kiss. Both of them scrunching their faces at the lingering taste in each other’s mouths as they broke away  
“Mum can wait. This taste has to go first”  
Lance nodded. Anything to get the taste gone... Salty wine... it was an abomination that should be sent into the vacuum of space.

Feeling isolated in the crowd, some dignitaries had taken seats, some wanted to give speeches, some seemed determined to shun his existence completely, some seemed happier to openly stare and gossip now that Keith had left his side. His husband clearly out of place as he stood with his team, and the other previous Paladins. Lance had seen Shay moving through the party, yet hadn’t had the courage to face her. Maybe he wasn’t taking not having seen her and Pidge worse than he thought. He’d spent a good day with Krolia, and sleeping, he shouldn’t be pouting for not having everything his way. Having been filled in on the plan for him to stand alone, Curtis was two rows of people in front of him and slightly to the left. Curtis couldn’t see him, yet he could see Curtis just fine. Veronica hadn’t approached him, either because she was mad at him all over again, or disgusted. With how his mood was falling, he knew he needed to leave the ballroom, his scent would start causing issues for others if he didn’t... but quiznak. He wanted to be there with a ridiculous smile on his face as Keith accepted his award. He wanted to clap politely for his husband, then tease him mercilessly when they were alone. He knew he might be emotionally compromised, and very slightly hugely biased, but Keith seemed like a dashing prince up on the stage. He seemed so far away, and so dashing, Lance’s poor bi-heart was racing... Shuddering in surprise, he shook off the sudden feeling. He couldn’t see anyone looking in his direction, yet something had caused the hairs on the back of his neck to prickle, most probably due to his paranoia over standing there and waiting for something to happen. He wasn’t sure if he was wearing the right expression. He didn’t want to tip off whoever was supposed to be after him, not by making himself a slave to his anxieties. He needed to take a breather, and it seemed it’d be some time before they actually presented Keith with his medal. After that disgusting wine, he’d downed three glasses of a sweet fruit punch to kill the taste, and now his body was telling him that he should probably go pee... Yet now he was doubting that him leaving the ballroom would be acceptable. Keith had said to leave if he needed to leave, and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t coming back. Dios. He was being ridiculous. He was a grown adult male. He could go without supervision. He didn’t need his handheld... so why did it feel so wrong?

Feeling guilty, Lance kept his head down as he limped towards the doors that would take him out the ballroom. Whispers followed him. Pity and sympathy as they whispered about the crazy Paladin who’d killed his lover. Reaching the door, he was a hairs breath away from crying. Listening to people prattle on about peace and the future, people who’d didn’t even know Allura justifying their words with her name, it’d rubbed him the wrong way... Knowing that behind there was a whole room of people who thought him something he wasn’t... kind of wasn’t, it really fucking sucked. The cherry on top was when the word “disgusting” was muttered in his direction. Some of those people he’d helped liberate as a paladin. Some of those people wouldn’t be alive if not for Voltron and the sacrifices of all the people he-they couldn’t save. It was probably his fault. He couldn’t forgive the coalition who were hiding Kre’el’s story. Burying their dirty laundry and failing to admit they never found her planet dooming a whole hurting race to an even sadder death. Perhaps if he’d played nicer, he wouldn’t have been saddled with all this shit that seemed to cling to the bottom of his boots... No one else seemed to make headlines like he did.

Limping down the hall, Lance realised he had a new problem of not knowing where the bathroom actually was. Surely the Galra were smart enough to build a bathroom near the ballroom, still, he’d never been to the ballroom before. Turning back towards the ballroom, the corridor seemed longer than he remembered. Shadows of trees drifting through the windows as they succeeded to creep him out. He was being fucking stupid. Thank you paranoia. Keith would be laughing if he could see him now. He was a goddamn guest of Daibazaal’s ruling diplomats. Keith said to trust his gut and his gut told him to get on with finding a bathroom already. Turning back, he slapped his cheeks lightly. Leandro. He needed to channel Leandro. Leandro wasn’t afraid of a big bad corridor. Starting to limp off, his paranoia started rising again, making it a dozen steps, the hairs on his neck rose again. Stopping midstep, he heard the squeak of shoes behind him. Spinning on the spot, Lance screeched  
“Hunk!? What the quiznak are you doing?!”

Looking somewhat sheepish, Hunk walked out the shadows of the hall, scratching the back of his head as he gave a half smile  
“Uh. Hey, buddy. I saw you sneaking out the ballroom, and I... uh, I’ve wanted to talk to you”  
Clutching his chest, Lance doubled over as he sucked down a breath  
“Dammit! You scared the quiznak out of me! You’re supposed to be on stage”  
“It didn’t feel right without you... Besides, Keith couldn’t come. Krolia has dragged him up beside her... What are you doing out here?”  
“Looking for a bathroom. They really need more labels around here”  
“You’ve gone past it”  
Hunk turned, Lance frowning. Hunk hated him... and there was something off... Shay hadn’t approached him. Why wouldn’t he send Shay after him? No. He was being paranoid. He was more than his depression. He was more than his anxieties. He’d known Hunk for years... Maybe... maybe he was sorry for walking out? Limping a few steps forward, Hunk turned back to him  
“You ok there, brother?”  
Brother. Hunk never called him brother. It was “bro”. Brother was weird. Bro. They were best “bros”... Straightening his left arm, his blade slid into his hand  
“Yeah, crutches, you know what I mean”  
Lance’s voice sounded strained even to him. Making a show of waving the two offending objects, he then hobbled forward, Hunk watching. The way his body was turned... Dropping his crutches, the man who wasn’t Hunk rushed him. 

Grabbed by the throat, Lance was thrown against the wall with ease. His head-smacking back hard enough he bit his tongue, a harsh fist cracking his nose, pain glaring as blood began to run  
“What gave it away? Never mind. If you scream, I will go after Keith. Nod your head if you understand?”  
Nodding his head, he was released. His cast keeping him upright, his blade digging into his left hand  
“Good... You’ve brought enough shame upon the... coalition. Right now, everyone is hearing your confession. Drugs and Alcohol. Murder. How far do you intend to drag everyone down with you? Now you claim to be pregnant... You have no place here. We shall not accept you, or what you stand for”  
Holding his tongue, Lance forced himself not to utter a sound. He wasn’t sure if it made him powerful or pathetic. Failing to respond, Hunk’s face twisted. His attacker pulling out a blade of his own, slicing through the fabric of his borrowed tunic, exposing his bra and stomach. For an instant his attacker's eyes glowed yellow, a clawed hand coming up to rip away his wedding ring. There was a lot he could tolerate, but not that. That ring was the physical form of his bond with Keith. Blue electricity formed in his palm, heating the blade, stupidly and irrationally, he lunged.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Tumblr peeps! I thought this was 36!!

Standing on the stage, Keith stared down at the crowd in front of him with genuine fear in his heart. There were way too many people... way, way, way too many people. “Invited” forward by Krolia, he’d nearly tripped over his own laces before reaching her. His fingers trembling as he grabbed his wrist just above his comms. So many people were before him, and now he had to talk to all of them. Ooooh, fucking quiznak. Nudged towards the podium, he couldn’t comprehend what was happening until he was standing there, Krolia whispering he needed to read his speech. Right. That thing. That thing Lance had gone and written for him because he loved him. Clearing his throat, he winced at the sound  
“Sorry. Sorry, I have a speech somewhere. I’m Keith, and I want to thank you all for coming today... tonight. It’s night. Where’s the damn speech...”  
He was failing before he started. Tapping on his comms, his speech was quick linked to the home screen. Opening it, he smiled. Lance had known this would be hard  
“Babe, I know I can’t stand beside you, but I love you. You don’t need to be scared. Now laugh and tell everyone how much you love me, because I am basically the best husband in the universe”  
His mood lifted  
“Sorry, my husband left me a little note at the start of the speech. I’m not exactly great at this. I’m grateful that you could all attend tonight. My husband, Lance, actually helped write my speech for me. He’s the one who’s good with words. He always has been, even back as a Paladins, he always had my back. I, uh, I want to confirm something before I start thanking everyone. Recently some lies have been printed about my husband. We are still happily married. We’re like any other couple... We’re planning on having a family. These rumours have been spread... have been spread... hold on...”  
His stomach dropped suddenly as if someone had kicked his knees out from beneath them. The room spinning in and out of focus for a second. Keith had no way to describe it, yet the first thing that came to mind was Lance.

To the right of the stage, Melda and Regetta rushed up the stairs. Kolivan moving to intercept them. Whispering back and forth, Kolivan’s face turned grim. Nodding at the pair, they jogged off the stage. Dignitaries watching on in confusion. As the most senior Earth officer, Shiro moved to Kolivan’s side, as Krolia moved to take his hand  
“I’m very sorry, there seems to have been some kind of incident. I assure you, you are all perfectly safe. It seems to be a technical issue, and we need a few ticks. Thank you for your patience”  
Disquiet whispers rippled through the crowd, turning to his mother Keith was confused  
“What happened”  
“There’s been an incident. We need to move, now!”  
“Where’s Lance?”  
“He’s already left the ballroom. You need to come with me”  
As they walked across the stage, his team plus Hunk and Pidge had already made their way to Kolivan. Pushing their way through, Curtis and Veronica joined them, followed a few ticks later by Shay. Keith’s heart was doing flips. Where was Lance? How did his mother know he’d left already?  
“Kolivan, what’s going on?”  
“I need you and Shiro to come with me right now. The rest of you, I need here. There’s been an incident on palace premises. We have a room filled with dignitaries, our Blade members have already started mobilising”  
“Where’s Lance?”  
For someone who was so neutral in his expression, Kolivan’s face said it all. Lance was the incident. Shaking his mother off, he shook his head as he stumbled back. The fact they wouldn’t speak of what happened spoke volumes of how serious the incident was  
“No. No...”  
“Keith. Keith, he’s...”  
“No! I have to find him!”  
Turning, he took off running, jumping rather dramatically then shoving his way through the crowd. He’d never wanted to be at this stupid Gala. He didn’t do his job for the accolades. He didn’t for the press. His husband had made him see a whole new reason for helping people. He’d chipped away Keith’s hard edges until Keith finally started to become a true leader. Lance was his stability. His husband. His rock. No matter how selfishly cruel he was, his husband... his husband was there... Lance had to be ok.

In the hall, it was far too easy to pick up the scent of blood. His feet carrying him towards the scent without having to think of it. He wasn’t sure he’d ever run as fast as he did, bolting down the corridor only to be caught by Krystaal who tackled him around the waist, spinning and pinning against the wall. Kicking out angrily, he snarled. His eyes glowing yellow as his teeth and fingernails sharpened  
“Let me go! I have to see!”  
“He’s not there. He’s been moved already”  
“I have to see him!”  
“He’s been transferred for the infirmary. Trust me, you don’t want to see this”  
Dropping low, he threw his weight forward, throwing Krystaal off him and down to the floor  
“Keith!”  
For a moment he stared down at his friend, then looked towards where other Blade members were gathered. Krystaal wasn’t going to help him find Lance. Snarling like a wounded animal, he took off again, only for his steps to begin to falter as he saw the blood across the walls and floor. Stumbling, he bumped into Legre, or rather, Legre half caught him as he eyed the scene in the room before him. The door pad had been shorted out, the only thing stopping it from closing had been Lance’s misplaced crutch. Manually pushed back, the room was awash with blood... long black marks expensed across the walls like tendrils. This was Lance’s blood. He could smell his husband’s pain. His fear. His anger... something suspiciously charred hung in the air. His knees gave out, a hand coming to his mouth  
“They’ve already taken him. This isn’t all his blood... but this isn’t all”  
Keith’s head shot up as he growled at Legre  
“What do you mean this isn’t all?”  
“There’s some words on the inside of the door... “We will not accept aid from a murderer””

Catching up to him, Kolivan took his arm. Keith smacking him away, only for Kolivan to take his arm in a firmer grip and pull him to his feet  
“Keith...”  
“Get off me!”  
Roaring in Kolivan’s face, Keith could only describe his feelings as feral. His heart was pounding in his ears. His chest heaving. His first instinct to attack. Giving a nod, the Blade members closest to Keith stepped back under Kolivan guidance  
“Lance has made it to the infirmary. He is being placed in a pod. He lost a lot of blood. He was unresponsive when they found him. You can’t do anything here. We need to take you to him and lock down the situation as we believe you are also in danger”  
“I’m in danger?! What fucking danger, Kolivan!? You used him as bait! You promised he’d be protected! He was targeted! If he dies, if my children die, I will never fucking forgive you. I will destroy this whole fucking empire!”  
Clutching his chest, he fought for breath. Kolivan was treating him like a fucking child, his words slow, as if he had some kind of impediment, hands raised as if that would calm Keith’s rage  
“Lance tried to leave a message. Your name was written in his blood by his finger. We are downloading and transferring the footage to a backup location. We need to move you...”  
“No”  
“Keith”  
“No! I refuse to be benched when some piece of filth is out there, walking around after trying to kill my fucking husband and our fucking twins!”  
“I underst...”  
“You don’t understand shit. How would you feel if it was Krolia!? Do you even love my mother?”  
He knew he crossed a line. He knew how much Krolia and Kolivan had been through together. Still. He had zero flying fucks. His bloodlust wasn’t about to be satisfied with some half-cocked bullshit. They’d followed their plan and the price was way too high  
“Your husband is in a pod. He was beaten. Nose broken, slashed with his own blade, he has burn marks on his hands and his necklace was ripped with enough force that it’s cut his neck. He suffered trauma to his stomach. He was left stripped half-naked and found unresponsive. Should I go on? Or should I allow you to walk away to be by his side so that when Lance wakes up, he doesn’t wake up to you being held in solitary confinement? Or charged with murder”  
His stomach... Keith’s anger released as enraged and broken scream... They could lose their twins. He could lose them to save Lance, but Lance would never be the same... They were making a family. A family... something warm and something real... something he’d wanted for so long. Something Lance had taught him... showed him. Shiro had shown him families came in all shapes and forms and the love of a brother. Lance had shown him the love of the husband and perks that came with it. Still unable to catch his breath, he didn’t understand why air refused to fill his lungs. His vision blurred as Shiro approached him  
“I’ll take him from here”

When Shiro wrapped his arm around his shoulder, Keith caved into the touch. Sobs bursting forth as his emotions overwhelmed him. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t get the sobs out  
“Keith, you’re having a panic attack. I need you to concentrate on breathing for me. You know how this goes. You’ve done this a hundred times with Lance”  
Oh. That was what this was. He hadn’t gone this far into an attack in a while. Clawing at his neck, his fingernails tore through his tie and jacket, catching on his wedding ring. Hearing the metal jingle against the hardness of his nails, he clutched the dainty hair clip as his knees buckled again. Ignoring the world around them, Shiro guided him to sit in the middle of the corridor, taking his face in his hands  
“He’s in a pod. He is in the safest place he can be. Focus on my voice. Slow breaths. In... hold... out... Now tell me five things you can see... keep breathing... in... hold... out...”

Keith’s internal struggle with his instincts threatened to take form. His head wouldn’t stop screaming for him to go to Lance. He couldn’t... play this game. He couldn’t process...  
“Keith. Hey. The sooner you bring your breathing under control, the sooner you can see Lance. He’d scold you if he could see you right now”  
Quiznakking in... hold... holding wasn’t working... he couldn’t do this...”  
“You’re going to pass out. You need to breathe. He is alive. He is alive and you’re going to get your breathing under control, and then you’re going to see him. Now tell me what you see”  
“Y-you...”  
The word felt wrong in his mouth. His tongue pricked by the sharpness of his teeth  
“See. That’s great. You can do this. What else can you see?”  
“White... hair... scar... jacket... arm...”  
“Good... that’s good. What can you feel?”  
“Y-your hands...”  
The words felt clumsy to the point of slurred. He was panting like a dog, unable to breathe through his snot blocked nose  
“And”  
“Necklace... ring...”  
His breathing hitched. Shiro hushing him softly as he waited for Keith to continue  
“Hard floor...”  
“Ok... What can you hear?”  
“You. Your voice... my breathing... my heartbeat... Your arm... Kolivan...”  
“Stay with me. Nice steady breaths for me. Where are we going?”  
“To see Lance”  
“And who is Lance?”  
“My husband”  
“And what would Lance say if he was right here?”  
“He’d... be where you are. He’d tell me I... was overreacting”  
This whole process felt ridiculous. He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there  
“He would. Your eyes are starting to return to normal. I want you to keep breathing for me. Nice deep breaths. Your lungs feel like an elephant's on them right now, but you’re working through this with me. I haven’t ever given up on you, and I am not about to start now”  
Nodding, fresh tears streamed down his face  
“I’m not sure I can face him... I didn’t protect him”  
“We don’t know what happened, but I do know Lance would have fought like crazy. He loves you”  
“He’s pregnant and hurt”  
“And he’s going to be even more hurt if something happens to you. I know it’s hard, but for his sake, you need to be strong”  
“How?! One of our allies did this!”  
“No one is leaving Daibazaal. We’re going to find out who’s behind this and why. Everyone knows Lance won’t stop until we know the truth. Right now, you’re in shock. You need to see him. No matter how he looks on the outside, the pod is healing him. Remember that”  
Keith nodded, feeling so quiznakking useless that he wanted to throw up. Keeping a firm hold on him, Shiro helped him off the floor. His brother shielding him from prying eyes as he led him from the scene of his breakdown.

*  
Standing in the pod, Lance’s appearance brought him to tears again. His husband broken nose had been straightened before he’d been placed in, while it seemed to Keith that all his blood wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Trapped behind the cold glass of the ancient piece of technology, he couldn’t reach out and hold him close. He couldn’t cover his exposed breasts and stomach. In their rush to get him in the pod, they hadn’t redressed him. It only compounded Keith’s pain as he waited for Lance to wake, now in front of him, his murderous desires had continued to rise, only to be conquered by his need to have his husband exactly where he could see him. He was trapped in the infirmary, Kosmo, and clean clothes, brought by Shiro when Krolia finally arrived so someone would be watching for signs he was going too Galra. His mother annoyingly tight-lipped until Shiro has returned. 

Sitting on the hospital bed, his mother’s face had been firm as she manipulated the holopad she’d brought with her  
“I’m not supposed to show you this. But I know you need to know what happened. We all do. This stays between us. Even your teams are not being briefed on the contents of this video”  
Nodding, his throat was too clogged with emotion to talk. Shiro assuring her he wouldn’t speak of it. Taking a breath, Krolia pressed play.

The footage was of the hallway Lance had been found in. His husband seemed a little stressed as he limped down the hall. For a man on crutches, Keith wasn’t sure Lance knew proficient he’d become. Stopping suddenly, his husband turned back, then back again, starting to limp along, before suddenly stopping again. Spinning on the spot, Lance suddenly yelled  
“Hunk!? What the quiznak are you doing?!”  
Keith and Shiro both looked to Krolia in alarm and confusion. Hunk had been on the stage the whole time. Krolia raised a finger to her lips as the recording continued.

“Uh. Hey, buddy. I saw you sneaking out the ballroom, and I... uh, I’ve wanted to talk to you”  
Clutching his chest, Lance doubled over as he sucked down a breath. Keith had seen him do that far too many times, playing slightly overdramatic as he tried to hide his moment of real panic  
“Dammit! You scared the quiznak out of me! You’re supposed to be on stage”  
He had been on stage. Right there, next to Pidge, where he was supposed to be  
“It didn’t feel right without you... Besides, Keith couldn’t come. Krolia has dragged him up beside her... What are you doing out here?”  
That was a lie. Krolia had a whole damn speech of “welcomes” and “thank yous” to perform before she’d gotten him into the limelight  
“Looking for a bathroom. They need more labels around here”  
Keith felt his anger flare back to life. His husband had wanted to go to the toilet. Something as simple as that shouldn’t have ended in assault  
“You’ve gone past it”  
Those four little words were wrong. Hunk wouldn’t have said it like that... It felt too stiff. Lance had seen it too. His step almost hesitant  
“You ok there, brother?”  
That wasn’t Hunk. Hunk didn’t say “brother” like that.

“That’s not him. That’s not Hunk. Do we know if anyone is missing?”  
Keith’s eyes were wide as he whispered. Shiro hushing him  
“Yeah, crutches, you know what I mean”  
Lance had noticed. Lance had noticed and “Not Hunk” knew. Pausing the video, Krolia took a breath  
“It gets pretty graphic here. The next few doboshes cover the attack”  
“I need to see”  
“Ok... Keith, this doesn’t change how much I love, Lance. He did what he had to”  
Fuck. If his mother was saying that, then it had to be bad.

Blood rushed to his head again as Lance was slammed against the wall. His heartbeat too loud to hear the conversation though he could see Lance’s attacker talking at him. Calmly taking the blow to the face, Lance was quick to stop struggling, but his eyes said it all. He was biding his time and that filled Keith with pride. Silently Lance took the abuse until his attacker ripped his necklace from his neck, cutting his shirt open to expose his pregnant stomach. Snarling and baring his teeth, the switch had been flipped. Lunging at his attacker, sparks shot from the blade in Lance’s hand as “Not Hunk” reeled back. Grabbing his attacker by the arm, Lance twisted so his back was to his attacker's chest, stabbing the dagger into the enemies rib area repeatedly, and down his left side. Before arching the blade up as he turned while being pushed away, slashing his attacker's face... which didn’t go over well. Raising his foot, Lance was kicked hard in the belly, smacking back into the wall. The damage taken didn’t seem to slow the attack down at all. Stepping back to steady himself, his husband parried the next blow, electricity shooting up “Not Hunk’s” leg, Lance lunging, grabbing his face as the attacker roared in pain, eyes gouging into his eyes as Lance savagely head-butted “Not Hunk” in the nose. The sounds coming from his husband bestial. Bringing up his arms to dislodge Lance’s hold, his enemy charged Lance again, kneeing him in the stomach this time, causing Lance to stagger as he dropped the blade. Grabbing Lance by the neck again, the attacker punched him twice more in the face, Lance spitting in the man's face. Fuck. He was beyond furious, but fuck if he wasn’t proud of Lance  
“That’s my boy”

Neither Krolia or Shiro commented. Too absorbed by the scene on the screen. Dragging Lance’s bloodied face along the wall, his attacker came to the room where Lance had been found. When Lance’s hand hit the panel, it shorted the sensor from his uncontrolled Altean magic, the door sliding open as Lance was hurled inside. His attacker having the actual nerve to go back for Lance’s dropped crutches and blade, his husband’s right foot visible, left drawn up. Throwing the items in the room, “Not Hunk” manipulated a piece of tech on his wrist, his appearance shifting to that of... one of some shaggy piece or shit like Klearo’s species. Pausing, he pulled something out the back of his belt, the full yellow tube in the injector was one Keith knew too well. Whoever it was, knew Lance’s history. They could have chosen any random drug, yet went right for that obnoxious yellow painkiller. Lance was screaming at him not to. Kicking as “Not Klearo” entered. Screaming and snarling, Lance was enraged. Keith couldn’t see what was happening in the room, yet knew Lance would be fighting the best he could. There was a series of thuds before Lance fell silent. Shadows fell from the doorway as his attacker went to work on leaving that message... then all of a sudden the room grew blue, the glow spilling out the door, stumbling out the space, a flash of blue bust forth. The person who’d attacked his husband taking the full blast, throwing backwards. Picking themselves up, they dragged themselves off running away from the Gala. The door to the room sliding closed, stopping halfway, reopening for a few ticks then coming to a stop where the tip of Lance’s crutch was in the way. Keith had no idea that was even a thing, let alone a possible thing for Lance to be using that much quintessence. None of them spoke as the video moved on to Nerlo and Regetta finding Lance a few doboshes later. Krolia cut the video before he could see his husband being extracted.

“It is a clear case of self-defence. Lance was clearly attacked first. He put up a good fight with what he had, and with a cast leg. The drugs are burning through his system. He was given 5 times the normal dose. It’s sent his quintessence skyrocketing, he shows signs of having had a seizure possibly the cause of the catatonic state he was found in. An antidote couldn’t be delivered as we didn’t know he’d been injected. The substance has also caused some unusually fast healing. Our staff say that it’s thanks to the drugs that he was able to warn us about the potential risk to you. He most likely didn’t think of the palace security systems. It’s not every day that one survives being stabbed repeatedly, then slashed across the face. We’ve obtained genetic samples. Everyone at the Gala is being questioned. It’s caused a lot of political tension. Previously warring factions within the coalition have taken to bickering”

The coalition could jump. He couldn’t care less about who was upset over the events. Not outside their friends. Hunk of all people... Keith could scream, yet instead, his words came out as a husky whisper  
“Lance already thought Hunk hated him. When Lance told Hunk he was pregnant, he and Shay walked out”  
His mother passed her holopad to Shiro, before placing her hand on his  
“I have spoken to Hunk about that. He doesn’t hate Lance. He was in shock over how it was possible. He’d also prepared a raw fish dish that night, which isn’t advisable when pregnant. He got caught up recooking everything... You mentioned that he was a “worry baker”  
When had his mother had time to talk to Hunk. Everyone knew Hunk was a “worry baker”... Had everyone gone without dinner? Or had Hunk reprepared everything only to find them gone?  
“Why didn’t you tell me this!? Do you know how badly that hurt Lance? He thinks Hunk finds him disgusting”  
“It seems like Hunk wanted to talk with Lance, yet didn’t know how to approach him with all the stress Lance would be under with the Gala. He was afraid he’d cause a seizure, so intended to wait until the night passed”  
“Fucking Hunk. He makes it so hard to be mad at him. He has no idea how hard it is for Lance to talk to him and Pidge. Does Veronica know what happened?”  
“She knows Lance was attacked. She wanted to see him, but I advised her not to at the moment. You two don’t have the best track record, and the last thing you need is to lose control of your emotions again. With the quintessence in his system, he is supposed to be released in two more quintants. He did suffer some damage to his womb, but it is healing. He will need to take it careful for the next few movements and stay close. Both your twins are showing good vitals, though accelerated due to the drugs in his system. They’re doing better than Lance is, but he’ll be fine once he’s released”  
“Mum, you just said he has to take it easy! You said... you said the twins' vitals weren’t right... and... could he lose them?”

She couldn’t finish up with saying Lance would be fine. Damage to his womb didn’t sound fine. It sounded fucking scary as quiznak. If Lance was fine, then he wouldn’t need to be in light duties... or take it careful or whatever she’d said. His husband was fucking trapped in a healing pod. He hated those things. He hated losing time  
“He’s going to be groggy, disorientate and possibly traumatised over this attack. He will most probably wish to leave, but we can only protect you here”  
“Protect him! He’s here because we’re here! He was safer at the outpost”  
“This is going to have a ripple effect through the coalition...”  
“The coalition has no say what he gets up to in his sector of space!”  
Shiro cleared his throat  
“There’s Erathus. We stepped in on Erathus”  
Fuck...  
“You went there, and nothing happened”  
“No. But he isn’t popular there. I think, for now, we should limit our conjecture. There’s video and DNA evidence here. More than what you had over the listening devices. For now, Keith, you need to rest. Krolia, you should be resting too, or passing your duties to Kolivan. It’s been a shock to all of us, Lance wouldn’t forgive us you went into labour and missed all the excitement”

No. No, he wouldn’t. Lance was a baby person. He’d wanted cuddles, be there congratulating Krolia and Kolivan, fussing and wanting to help his mother-in-law. Krolia smiled softly, her free hand moving to her stomach  
“It has been a long day. A few vargas ago Lance and I were bonding over face masks and hair cuts. I was hoping today wouldn’t result in this. His depression has hit him hard, it’s not uncommon during pregnancy. He seemed to enjoy himself”  
Keith tilted his head. Lance didn’t like having his hair touched  
“He had a haircut?”  
“Full pampering. Massage, manicure, pedicure, face masks, eyebrow shaping, then a trim for both of us. Unlike some people, he appreciates my efforts”  
“M-massage?”  
Krolia squeezed his hand. Keith was not ok with a naked Lance, or mostly naked Lance being touched by someone else. Despite his mother being there. It. Was. Not. Ok.  
“He was clothed. I didn’t force him into anything he didn’t want, I made sure he understood that. I was very proud of him. He’s more willing than you or Acxa to let me indulge myself. He allowed his hands to be touched, not even flinching as they did his left hand. He was slightly nervous before getting his hair trimmed. He’s very knowledgeable about Earth beauty routines, it gave us a chance to discuss some of the things he was feeling with his pregnancy as well as skincare routines. He was a nervous wreck waiting for you. He kept playing with his hair, making sure he looked perfect for you. Apparently, you made quite the impression on him in your suit”  
He knew he’d made “quite the impression”, he’d smelt his husband’s “impressions”. He’d seen it on his face. Lance had been gazing upon him like he was some work of art, blushing and shifting slightly to hide his arousal. Staring at Lance, he once again hated the stupid pod he was  
“He is perfect... He didn’t have to go to all that effort”  
“He didn’t do it just for you. He did it for himself too. He wanted tonight to be perfect for both of you. No doubt he was hoping that it’d lay some of the rumours to rest. Shiro is right, you need to rest. Your eyes are completely normal now, as your nails. Your teeth still look slightly elongated, but as long as you keep a rein on your emotions, your Galra side should fade within the night. I know you don’t want to be stuck here, but Kolivan and I will figure this out”  
“Mum, you need to have concrete answers. Lance won’t be able to rest until he knows why someone is after him, again”  
“I’ll get answers for us all. I swear to you. I’ll contact Miriam and keep her informed”  
“I promised her I’d look after him”  
Turning towards him, his mother moved her hand from her stomach to his cheek, rubbing her thumb over the top of the scar on his face  
“Keith, you’re his husband, not his keeper. The whole attack was a over in less than 10 doboshes. That’s why there was a delay in security. The hall seemed far too close for a possible scuffle to occur. I love you. He’s strong and he’ll be just fine”

*  
Lance kept him waiting a quintant and a half, much faster than the predicted 2 quintants, yet painstakingly long for his heart and instincts. Everyone had dropped by to enquire how Lance was, but no one had the answers that Keith was waiting for, leaving him annoyed they’d visited instead of grateful. Having scanned and logged the DNA evidence, Lance’s attacker had been found to come from an unassuming coalition planet that had never seemed to have an issue them. Submitting to neural reading, it was shown that dignitaries had no prior knowledge of the attack, nor did they notice one of their attendants had gone missing. His body later located on the palace grounds where he’d been executed with a blaster shot to the head. He’d died where he’d fallen. His body picked clean of evidence, with the crime taking place where there was a blind spot in security. His mother theorised that someone, someone in the palace, had been behind everything. After all, they first had to know where Keith and Lance’s rooms were, that Hunk and Lance weren’t speaking. Then finally, the layout the castle security. The palace was in lockdown. The coalition pulled into the spotlight of the intergalactic press over the incident, their power and goals questioned. Krolia’s answer to this was a tour of the coalition planets, with the assistance of the Atlas. His team would be going, as would himself and Lance once Lance had recovered.

Keith was there when the pod opened. His husband cold, disorientated and confused as he tottered forward, Keith there to lift him, moving him the few steps to lay him down on the infirmary bed. Medical staff already notified by the pod's sensors. Stroking Lance’s hair, blue eyes blinked him, a smile on his husband’s lip, that turned to panic as the medical staff began their work. Fighting weakly, his husband still held his fighting spirit as Keith took his hands in his. His instincts could barely stand having them in the room, yet knowing they were necessary. The black pants Lance had borrowed were cut, Lance falling into a babbling panic at the sound of the laser cutter firing up. Hushing him, Keith buried his face against Lance’s cheek, reassuring him that they’d be heading back to their own room shortly. They may have wanted to monitor him overnight, but they didn’t know Lance as he did. His husband would panic over the scent of blood, over someone else’s scent, over being hurt by an unknown and now deceased assailant. Either passing out from fear, or falling asleep due to the strain from being in the healing pod, Lance went lax beneath him, missing the cast he hated so much being removed. There were so many things to tell his husband, yet until Lance was conscious enough to process things, it’d have to wait.

Carrying Lance back to their room, Kosmo was waiting on their bed. Krolia sitting there with a half-frown upon her lips  
“He was supposed to stay for observation”  
“He’ll be more secure here. If he woke in the infirmary with no idea what happened... It’s better this way”  
“I knew you’d say that. I’m the one who gave them clearance. Have they spoken to you over his condition?”  
“No. I don’t know anything more than that he’s healed. That’s the main thing right now. I was going to bath him”  
“I want him by your side. I want to know the instant that anything happens. Don’t go after them yourselves”  
“We don’t know who it is. How am I supposed to go after them?”  
“Keith. Please. Please be careful”  
“I will, mum. Can you have some food brought down for us? I don’t know how he’s going to react when he wakes again”  
“Alright. I do wish you’d consider sharing Kolivan and I’s quarters”  
“No. Lance feels safe here. He’d refuse to place you in danger”  
“Make sure you fill him in on all the details of what has transpired”  
“I will when the time is ready. I just... I need to be alone with him. I need... I need to finally calm down... I haven’t been able to control myself with him in that quiznakking pod. I need to have this with him. I can’t be Keith the Blade member right now. I need to be Keith the husband... because if I’m not, I’m afraid I’m going to lose myself to my anger. It’s like Kre’el all over again. The secrets. The lies. The unknown faction moving...”

Held against his chest, Lance stirred slightly. Lance mumbling his name before moaned softly  
“I can’t keep walking into harm. I didn’t believe him when he warned me about this movements ago. I didn’t believe him and I dismissed him. Do you know what Shiro said? He told me Lance believed he was in danger, first starting at Festival for Allura when he was sent an anonymous letter that burnt away to nothing. His comms for the Paladin panel were spammed with photos of him and Klearo. Now he’s had a second article about him and Shiro printed. Faith in the coalition damaged, right when we were due to be awarded over Kre’el. We know Klearo had Galra working for him. We know there are thousands of Galra descendants still out there. I don’t know if I can trust living here, or trust you living here, but I do know I have fucked up. I have fucked up badly, and I need to talk with him about that. I need to understand. I don’t trust anyone outside the original Blades, and my team. Despite your trust. I don’t even know if I believe that it is Lance who is actually being targeted, or me because everything that happens to him, crushes me a little more. Until I work my own head out, I need time with him, mum”  
“I understand. Shiro also mentioned this to me. Let me know when he wakes. The tour dates need to be settled. Kolivan stated that public distrust in the coalition is fast sinking as low as when Voltron disappeared for those three years”  
Keith couldn’t care less for the douches in the coalition, but he did care when it impacted Daibazaal’s image  
“I’ll talk to him”

Lance roused in the bathtub, his husband yawning loudly as he laid in Keith’s arms. Personal hygiene hadn’t been a priority when compared to Lance’s life. Rubbing his eyes, Lance pressed back against him  
“Why are we in the bath? Did I get drunk?”  
“Did you what?”  
“Get drunk? I don’t remember getting into the bath. Why am I so tired?”  
Keith tensed, his fingertips digging into his husband’s swell. Did Lance not remember? Or was he too tired to remember? Or was his husband trying to avoid the topic? Why were there so many damn “ors”  
“Babe, what’s the last thing you remember?”  
“I don’t know... I’m sleepy. That wine? Did we get drunk at the Gala?”  
Yawning, Lance dropped his head back against Keith’s shoulder. His hands going to Keith’s, lifting them so he could intertwine their fingers  
“You’re really pretty. You shouldn’t frown though. Your face is going to change, and the wind is going to get stuck that way”  
“You got that one wrong. You went for a little trip into the healing pod, the casts off now”  
Raising his right leg, Lance’s droopy eyes widened. With no strength, it dropped back down splashing bubbly water everywhere  
“Would you look at that, I have a leg. You were really pretty tonight, all dashing and charming like a prince. I’m so proud of you”  
Keith wanted to scream, maybe even start yelling at his husband” to stop being so adorable and to tell him what the quiznak had happened”. Lance didn’t remember being attacked, nor did he question being in the pod, nor did care as his husband turned slightly in his hold so he could hide his face against Keith's neck. The lack of memory felt like the calm before the storm. He wasn’t trying to be cruel, yet he needed to know what had happened in the room when Lance dropped out of view. Mumbling a series of unintelligible huffing sounds, before drifting back to sleep. He was lucky Keith had the strength to cart his bony arse around... and he was lucky that Lance had enough trust in him to be so unguarded... Just why the quiznak did this have to happen?


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologise for this chapter

45

Warm breath tickled the back of his neck as Lance dozed. A warm arm snaked around his waist, with a hand protectively resting on his belly. The bed beneath him as soft and warm as the blankets covering him, Keith’s bed wasn’t their bed, but it was pretty damn nice when he was there. Waking with a start, his first instinct was to find Keith. His second instinct was to bolt from whoever was holding him. His third instinct was that Keith was the holding him and that there was nothing poised to attack. His husband’s scent was soothingly level, sprinkled with notes of concern, anger, and relief. Mentally, he checked off them off. Concern, well, he’d been attacked. His face was no longer busted up, which could only be the result of a trip to the healing pod. Anger... Keith was great at intense internal anxiety, much like he was... Plus, he’d left the Gala alone. Double plus, he’d gotten into a fight. Triple plus, he’d wound up in a healing pod over it. Quadruple plus, their twins could have been harmed in the attack... Keith’s twins... If things were serious, he wouldn’t be waking up in his husband’s bed if things weren’t now safe. Hence, the relief... Fuck... He could remember the start of the fight. He could remember taking the first blow, not wanting Keith involved, but everything else after having his wedding ring torn from his neck was blank. Residual feelings remained in the back of his mind. His need to put the person down before they went after Keith. His need to protect his twins. His blood lust when the ring was torn from his neck... Clumsily, his hand went to his neck where his ring no longer sat. It was really gone... His ring was gone... His proof of that night had been stolen away from him. As his breath caught, he wanted to curl in on himself. He wanted to cry. He was so done with someone he didn’t know going after him with the intention of hurting him. He was tired of his time with Keith being continually interrupted. He almost wished their marriage was still on the rocks with him at the outpost, as it’d only been since he returned to Keith’s side that this new threat had reared its head. He’d been safe doing whatever he felt like at his outpost... But quiznak if it didn’t do all kinds of things to his heart to know his husband was safe. Dios, he had to see Keith’s face. He had no idea how long he’d been out. He had no idea if his twins were safe. He had no idea if Keith was safe, or if he’d been harmed after the fight.

Rolling slowly in Keith’s arms, his husband slept on. The process was slow, Keith digging his fingertips into his belly, as Lance worked the logistics of his move out. It was worth it though. To see Keith’s sleeping face, a soft smile on his slightly parted lips as he dreamed some dream Lance couldn’t see. Drool on the left side of his mouth. His shaggy black hair fell across his forehead and neck, his gold necklace safely in place. Black bags hung under Keith’s eyes, but he’d seen worse before on him. Leaning in, he nuzzled into Keith’s cheek, Keith letting out a breathy moan as his hand slipped down Lance’s back to grab at his arse. Smiling to himself, his husband made everything better. Keith wasn’t awake, but his mere existence made everything so much more tolerable. Waking up alone would have sucked, it did suck. Keith knew that it didn’t matter that the castle was long gone, no one woke up alone. As much as wanted to work out what was going on in his head, now that he’d seen his sleeping husband, he wanted Keith to wake up and tell him everything was alright. That he was okay. That whoever attacked him hadn’t laid a finger on his precious husband. That they were okay, and Keith wasn’t mad at him for leaving the Gala. That he wasn’t mad at him for winding up in a fight. That Keith’s twins were ok. He’d been in fights before, being attacked had been scary, he was pregnant with his dominant leg a cast after all, but he was sure he’d landed blows of his own. Kissing Keith’s cheek, he grimaced at his own morning breath. It felt as if something had died in his mouth, and certainly smelt like it. As nice as cuddles were, non-furry teeth sounded better, plus, if he was careful, Keith wouldn’t notice he’d left their bed.

His escape didn’t happen, as he wiggled away from his husband, Keith clung tighter. Lance dragging him to the edge of the bed  
“Stop faking it already, let me get up”  
“No... come back to bed... Wait... wait, you’re awake!”  
Keith tugged him back, his head knocking against his husband’s in Keith’s rush. They ended up with Lance’s head on Keith’s shoulder, staring into gorgeous purple eyes  
“Yeah... ow... I thought I’d left you sleeping”  
“Me sleeping? You’re the one who’s been sleeping! How do you feel? How long have you been awake? I was worried... Are you in pain...?”  
Keeping his left hand on his aching forehead, Lance turned in his husband’s hold ready to count his points off on his right hand  
“Babe, I’m alright. I remember getting into a fight, but I’ve been awake long enough to figure a few things out. I don’t remember how the fight ended. I ended up in a pod. I don’t remember much after they attacked. I feel alright, other than the fact my morning breath could strip paint. I didn’t wake you up because I was enjoying watching you sleeping, and assumed you would have been worrying yourself crazy. I wouldn’t say no to the toilet either”  
“You’ve been asleep for the last four quintants and that’s what you have to say to me?”  
Four days was a bit of a surprise. He’d been thinking maybe two? He felt too rested for it to have been simply overnight  
“I was out that long? Are you ok? They... I mean, you weren’t hurt were you? Did they get him?”  
“You were in a pod for a quintant and a half... You scared the shit out of me. I thought... there was so much blood...”

Keith’s voice shook with emotion, Lance ignoring his morning breath in favour of kissing the side of Keith’s drooly lips. He might have had time to calm, but Keith had only just woken after days of worrying about him  
“I’m sorry I scared you. I... I guess I lost the fight? I’m also guessing you got stuck taking care of me again? I feel... good. Nothing hurts more than it should, or normally does. I panicked a little when I woke up, but I thought everything must have been sorted if I’m laying here with you”  
“Hardly... How are you so ok with this?”  
Keith sounded annoyed, which was valid. He really was taking it all too well. He had no idea why he’d been attacked, his attacker's face was blurry in his memory and he could have cost Keith their twins. Yet, he was still very clearly pregnant, and not in the hospital wing of the palace. Cupping Keith’s cheek with his right hand, he rubbed his cheek against Keith’s  
“I never said I was... I have far too many questions, and the burning desire to brush my teeth. How bad was it?”  
Keith shook his head, his scent was off  
“Not great... you’re right. We should clean up then eat. I can fill you in then... quiznak... hold on a tick”  
Keith was clearly worrying that he was going to set him off with the truth. Lance knew that if he could peek inside Keith’s brain, he’d be watching his husband struggle to find the words that he considered to be safe.

Detangling himself from their embrace, Lance was saddened to lose the comfort of his husband’s hold as Keith went about climbing over and off his side of the bed. Sitting himself up properly on the edge, there was the sound of the bedside drawer open, rustling, then closing. Keith then walking back around their bed to squat down in front of him  
“I need to give you an injection. I’ll explain, but for now, it’s already late because I’ve overslept”  
Opening a small black case, Keith plucked a vial of green liquid out. It seemed kind of familiar, but Lance wasn’t able to place it. Being injected by his husband was not on his “wake up and human” checklist  
“What’s that?”  
“Hold on”  
Loading the injector gun, Keith then pressed it to his thigh, Lance jumping at the crack of the gun rather than the sudden injection. Pulling the gun back, his husband threw it onto their bed, before kissing the spot he’d just injected him in  
“What the quiznak was that?!”  
He didn’t do drugs. He didn’t like pills or injections or things he didn’t know being forced into his bloodstream. Keith knew that, and no matter how tenderly he was gazing up with him, Lance wasn’t going to hide his annoyance  
“An antidote... God, babe... I don’t even know where to begin”  
“The start would be a good place! You know I don’t... I wake up and you...”  
Lance cut his sentences off with a wave of his hand. He was miffed. Keith was lucky he hadn’t kicked him  
“You were injected. During the fight, you were injected with that painkiller shit... You’ve been in and out of consciousness for the last two and a half quintants. The twins... You spiked a fever. They had to keep you here because I couldn’t control my emotions... I tried to go Kolivan... I turned into a monster...”

Lance’s hands went to his stomach. The vague recollection of being hit in the stomach came to him, then started to flitter away  
“Are they okay? Were they hurt?”  
“We didn’t know you’d been injected when you were put in the pod. It sent your quintessence sky high, speeding up your healing but stressing the twins in the process...”  
Lance swayed, suddenly feeling lightheaded. Keith surging up to wrap his arms around him, wetness on his cheek where Keith’s tears were pooling  
“I’m so sorry. I should have been there. I should have protected you... I’m so sorry, babe...”  
How was he supposed to translate what was happening? Keith was scaring him more than waking up had... what was he trying to tell him?  
“Did I lose them? Is... did... are they...?”  
“No! No...”  
Keith pulled back, taking his face in his hands and forcing him to stare him in the eye  
“... they gave you a scan, they’re still in there. The pod fixed the damage, but because of the drugs, you’ve needed daily injections, and will for the next movement. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. He’s dead. The alien that attacked you is dead... There was so much blood... You could have died...”  
“I didn’t go looking for a fight”  
He was supposed to have been under surveillance... Krolia had said he would be...  
“I know. I saw the footage. But it was still bad. He broke your nose, went after the twins... drugged you, and beat you... You nearly lost the twins. There was something wrong with your womb... you were bleeding...”  
Tears were streaming down Keith’s face now  
“I’m out the pod now”  
“You kept drifting in and out. You kept telling me how pretty I am and how proud of me you were. I don’t feel very proud. You and my twins would have been dead if you hadn’t fought back. They could have left you there dead and I would have been up on the stage while you bled out”  
Lance might have been physically harmed, but Keith had taken the brunt of the mental trauma  
“Stop it. I’m not dead. I’m not dead and I am proud of you. You are pretty. And I love you. Now. My breath stinks and I need a shower if I’ve been sleeping that long. Is there anything else I need to know right now?”  
“They... took your wedding ring. There’s a scar from when they tore it off. They did your back pretty bad. There might be blood when you go to the toilet. You’re healed, but they mentioned it. And you need to take things at half speed for the sake of the twins until the drug’s passed completely. They... Mum doesn’t know, but I’m sure if you hadn’t had it in your system before, you would have died. It sent you into seizures... You had one the night before last and... it was bad”  
““Bad” or “bad bad”?”  
“Really fucking bad, when your fever spiked. I’m, we’re, on lockdown. I haven’t been able to control my instincts since this happened”  
Keith loathed the times his Galra side flared to life, Lance could understand why, yet hated it at the same time. Keith was part Galra and that was nothing to be ashamed of. Lifting his left hand, he tucked a few stray strands from Keith’s fringe back behind his ear  
“You’ve been trying to protect me. I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking for a fight. I don’t think I was, I remember being in the fight but it’s a bit blurry around the start and end. I feel better... because I woke up with you here. Now I need the bathroom. Gimme a few ticks then we’ll take a shower together. I want to see for myself you’re not hurt”  
Keith nodded, nuzzling up into Lance’s left hand like Kosmo would have. Keith was kind of like another kid... if he included Keith, that meant he had four kids to look after and he definitely wasn’t sure he could survive four  
“I’m still really sorry. I never seem to be there when you need me the most”  
“Babe. Keith. Love of my life. Half idiot to my half idiot. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you on the stage awkwardly accepting your medal. You looked incredibly handsome”  
“I think I understand now... Why you felt so guilty after the training accident. The “what-ifs”... it fucking sucks”  
There were a few differences with what had happened. No one important had been hurt in the fight. Keith was left looking after him for quintants without knowing what kind of condition... It was starting to sound suspiciously like waiting for Keith to wake up. Clean him. Keep him hydrated. Nurse him through fever. Protect him. Wait for him to wake... But Keith hasn’t nearly killed a whole team of Blade members. He also hadn’t nearly killed his husband...  
“Yeah, it really does”

*  
Keith insisted that Lance didn’t need to know the details of the investigation over the attack. Lance wasn’t having it. Krolia was on the fence, understanding where Keith was coming from, yet worried for both their safeties, hoping that seeing the footage would trigger his memories of the fight. Lance sympathised with her. He sympathised with Keith. But as Krolia talked about everyone involved since the attack, he felt sick to his stomach that he was the only one who didn’t know anything useful. Confined to their messy room, the space had suffered at the hands of the “tantruming” Keith, Lance was sitting on their bed, where Krolia was now not allowed, neither was Kosmo. Krolia had had to take Kosmo from Keith because their fur son couldn’t understand Keith’s changing instincts and took his more Galra side as a threat to Lance. Seeing Lance had confided to Kosmo things he couldn’t tell his therapist or husband, it was if Kosmo was trying to protect him from “Galra” in general. He had to know Keith’s heritage, yet that he’d go his master over Lance weighed heavily, leaving him wondering if perhaps he’d told Kosmo too much. Gazing down at the holopad in his hands, it was paused before the attack. The anticipation and wait was giving his anxieties a minor heart attack. No one was stopping him from pressing play, other than himself. Watching the video would result in him having to admit some home truths. He’d lost the fight, then had been further assaulted. Someone other than Keith had touched his body... and he was determined not to have a break down over that. He’d been in dozens of fights. Not that he was bragging, but he was good. He was far better as Leandro as Lance, but Lance had got his dumb arse hurt... and scared Keith. He had to face that fear for both of them.

For Keith, he pressed play.

Watching the fight on the camera was completely different from being in it. His moves were clunky thanks to his cast and his stomach. He’d parried fine, but in his eyes, he could see the steps he’d missed, he was slightly impressed with joe many stabs he’d landed in his assailant's sides... but on the camera, he seriously seemed to be attacking Hunk... As he watched his attackers eyes flash, he gasped, Keith, supporting the tilting holopad in his hands. He remembered that. He remembered the tell tail eyes and shift in scent...  
“He’s Galra”

Keith tried to take the holopad from his hands, Lance gripping it tighter. He remembered the distinct change. The change in expression. Once their cover was blown, all bets were off  
“No. We found them, they weren’t Galra”  
He hadn’t been told everything, only what Keith had said. That his attacker was dead. Lance hadn’t wanted to know details because he didn’t want to possibly give a false recount due to preconceived opinions  
“Their eyes glowed yellow...”  
“It was tech, babe. That’s how they took on Hunk’s appearance”  
No. That didn’t feel right to him... His marks were glowing in the video, way more vividly than he’d seen them glow before... but that wasn’t the source of the bad feeling  
“There’s something else here”  
“Babe?”  
Keith was sitting too close. He felt too clingy. He needed to think without being babied  
“Gimme a tick...”  
“You don’t need to watch this”  
Because that didn’t confirm his suspicions that something more important was about to happen. If Keith didn’t want him watching the attack, he’d have to pull the holopad out of him cold dead hands. Pressing play again, he glared at the holopad.

Watching the explosion of blue, Lance could see why Keith was hesitant to let him watch. His Altean magic had done a number on the assailant. His fragile mind attempting to prevent him suffering at the hands of Klearo again... who only kind of looked like Klearo... He knew how the man moved. His panic might have blurred what he was seeing, but watching him on the screen, his assailant didn’t carry himself tall enough. This time when Keith started moving the holopad, Lance let his husband take it... before snatching it back as he watched the door catch, open, then close...  
“I think that’s enough for now”  
“No”  
Dragging his finger back over the video bar, he rewatched the way the door closed... if the door was burned out, it should have stayed open or closed, not moved partway... he didn’t know what it was, but something was wrong  
“What is it? What do you see?”  
“Krolia, do you have this in infrared? Something isn’t right”  
Keith was staring holes in the side of his face, his scent angry as he didn’t appreciate being ignored  
“Not on the holopad. In the security centre, possibly. I had the data moved to limit access. Why?”  
“The door bothers me. There’s something hinky about it... about the way it moves. I don’t know how to explain it, but if I shorted out one of the door panels on the Telula, it wouldn’t move like that”  
Krolia frowned. She’d been running the investigation into the attack, now he was questioning the results of her investigation  
“Pidge has been examining the footage. If there’s anything there, she would have found it”  
“Can we go see her? When did you last talk to her? If you don’t make her stop working, she works until she crashes”  
“She’s onboard the Atlas at the moment. Shiro pulled the team back until we had more answers. Hunk and Shay are still planetside. They’ve been catering for negotiations”  
“Negotiations? How much have I missed?”  
Krolia glanced to Keith, Lance snapping in annoyance. He wasn’t angry with his husband or his mother-in-law, he was frustrated that been sleeping when everything else went down  
“Don’t look to him. I needed to be clear-minded when I watched this. Now I’ve watched this, I need details. The alien is dead? The: who, what, when, where, why, how, of things. I remember he said he wouldn’t take aide from someone like me. I also remember he threatened to go after Keith... After being thrown in that room, I don’t remember much of what happened, as if I was watching it all through someone else’s eyes. I need to see what Pidge has found and I need to know who was responsible”

Krolia opened her mouth, Keith growling, the sound being ignored by her  
“The alien was discovered with a blaster wound to the back of his head, and stripped of his tech. He was a servant in an envoy, his employer’s party consented to having their minds searched, yielding no knowledge or preplanned involvement in the attack. His blood showed traces of a suggestive hallucinogenic, injection point on the nape of the neck, slightly above the collar line. Your Altean magic cauterised the stab wounds, allowing him to escape as he did. Burn marks were evident where there was metal in his clothing. We placed his body in a pod, but there was too much damage to the brain to retrieve anything or to hope of reviving him. Each species of different after all”

Lance took a deep breath in, counting to seven before exhaling slowly. They had a fat lot of nothing, and his stomach was starting to feel queasy. The Cuban couldn’t say the direct cause though. Despite having woken up feeling better than he had in a while, it’d all apparently been one big fat pregnancy joke as now he felt like someone had smacked him half to death with a bucket of rotting fish guts  
“So, basically, whoever he was working for he may have been doing so without his knowledge or consent. That means there is still an active threat, most probably after Keith instead of me as it’s well known that Keith tends to lose his head when it comes to me. With this attack happening openly and publicly, favour with the coalition would have declined, people would see the attack as the Galra unable to keep their promises of protection, especially when the attack happened in their own palace. Most of those present at the Gala were disgusted by my past, they weren’t exactly shy with their whispering and shunning. Though not admitting it aloud, they would be seeing it as me receiving my just desserts, or possibly seeing this as me bringing trouble upon the coalition as my stance is quite well known... I wouldn’t be surprised if it was rumoured this attack was orchestrated by myself to shame the coalition. I assume you would have rewatched the video for the Gala... but... and no offence, Mumma K, it could have been anyone. Someone who knew Hunk and I weren’t talking, or someone who thought we were still friends. The drugs, that was in the news article... The confirmation of seeing my stomach seemed to make them angrier as if it was personal... Not a lot people know what the hair clip on my necklace meant, that’s why I feel it’s someone who knows our lives... I think someone might not see me as fit to be by Keith’s side... Maybe... I guess... I mean, if it’s someone who works for the Blade or in the palace it wouldn’t be strange for their DNA to be around the place... and you wouldn’t be looking to exclude them because they don’t stand out... I mean... I could be being paranoid... but I still want to see what Pidge has discovered”

Krolia nodded, tapping on her comms, his mother-in-law was actually listening to him. Keith wasn’t as cooperative  
“Pidge can wait. You just woke up. You need to eat and you need to rest”  
“I’m fine”  
It was his default reply. He really wasn’t fine. The fight hadn’t been the triumph “alien catching ending conspiracy” fight he’d hoped it ended in. It’d ended in more questions than answers, as per bloody usual. When he’d been sure they’d have more answers for him, he could shake it off. Now he’d been pointlessly attacked for someone else’s gain, nearly lost their twins and... there’d been so much fucking blood... He didn’t know how there could have been so much... and his wedding ring... his wedding ring was his single most important possession...  
“You’re not fine. Stop saying you’re fine! You were bashed for no fucking reason!”  
“I’m well aware!”  
Sniping back, Lance closed his eyes. He’d definitely had a delayed reaction...  
“Then stop running off into trouble!”  
“I’m not running off. I’m not even walking off. I’m sitting here, feeling... off”

Shifting, Keith wrapped his arms around him. Lance feeling claustrophobic, overwhelmed by Keith... the day had finally come. He wanted Keith where he could see him, but not so much where he could touch him or hear him  
“You’re feeling off because you’re pushing yourself...”  
“I’m not pushing myself, am I? I’m sitting on your bed, trying to process the fact that I ended up in a fight most probably because of someone we know”  
Sometimes husband’s should be seen and not heard. This was all leading to another fight, and he fucking knew it. He was big enough to admit when things needed to be dropped, despite the lingering pain... Keith’s stupid jealous fit for a start... but right now he felt too... Keithised. He didn’t want to have that argument again. He really didn’t. He knew Keith thought it in the past, but what if that had been their last fight? Over something like that... Keith would never have recovered. He couldn’t deal with Keith’s overabundance of affection when he was still trying to figure this, all of this, out  
“Babe, you’re not well”  
“You hovering isn’t making it better. I’m a grown man, Keith. I’ve been in fights before. I’ll be in fights again. Now back up. I’m starting to feel sick and you’re smothering me”  
“I’m smothering you because you got hurt again! Do you know how scary it is?”  
“No! I have absolutely no idea how you felt at all. Zero. It’s not like you were in an accident not that long ago. It’s not like all this shit didn’t start again when we got here. I need space to breathe!”  
“I’m worried about you! Why are you making this so hard!?”  
“Because...”

“That’s enough boys. I messaged Hunk, and he’s bringing something down for both of you. Pidge will come to us, instead of you going to her. Veronica is asking to see you. Shiro wants you to call. And Kolivan... is taking me to dinner”  
Krolia trailed off as she realised what she said. Lance found it reassuring that Krolia was relaxed enough to accept Kolivan’s dinner invitation. He hated being treated differently and being a burden to his family, even his extended family. Feeling his stomach rolling, he forced himself to breathe and to focus on the simple action. In... hold... out. He was safe. He was with Krolia and Kosmo. He was safe. In... hold... out... His twins were safe. Whatever had happened to his womb had been healed by the healing pod. They were still in there... He felt quiznak because his body wanted drugs. That’s what it was... Pidge would have answers. Pidge would tell him he wasn’t being stupid over the door. He just had to wait for Pidge. In... hold... out... In... hold... out... Who would want him gone? He hadn’t spent quality time with anyone. If he were petty then Krystaal would be the topic of his suspect list. But that was bringing in his own insecurities. Krystaal wouldn’t go that far... Then who? Was it a planet with ties to Kre’el, or perhaps someone from the dozens he’d arrested? What did they really know about Keith’s new recruits...? No. No. Kolivan would have been meticulously in his background research, so Keith’s trainees couldn’t possibly be involved. Plus, attacking on Daibazaal would rain down suspicion on them... Unless that’s exactly why they did it... because it was home ground. They had the advantage, knew the palace inside out, and a logic chain of thought would think the same as he had, that a Blade on Daibazaal was far too obvious. 

“Lance?”  
Opening his eyes, Lance regretted it. His stomach felt as if it was swaying as if he was on a ship at sea. He couldn’t take a breath in... the need to vomit robbing him of oxygen. Clamping his hand to his mouth, it happened the same time that door to their room opened. He hadn’t thought he’d been thinking long enough for Hunk to bring down food, and although completely irrationally, his “friend” filled him with fear. Bolting off the bed, he fled towards the bathroom, crashing into the door as it took too long to open. Slipping inside, he barely reached the toilet before heaving, throwing up a pathetic amount across the side of the seat. He could understand throwing up when there was something in his stomach, but this was just plain cruel... and quiznakking painful. Heaving again, he almost wished he was still sleeping off the effects of the pod.

Knocking lightly, Krolia let herself into the bathroom. Lance could hear Keith complaining, but his husband was cut off as the door slid closed behind his mother-in-law. Half slumped over the toilet, his face was flushed and sweaty as he looked to Krolia  
“Morning sickness?”  
Lance shook his head, the smile he tried to flash her was as washed out his complexion  
“Nah. Thought I might remind the toilet how much I love it”  
“Your morning sickness really should have eased by now”  
“I... wish...”  
Heaving through “wish”, all that was coming out was drooly spit  
“Hunk’s left. He didn’t want to disturb you. Do you want Keith to come sit with you?”  
“No... it’s not like he can fix this...”  
Lance was sure even a bullet wouldn’t put him out of his misery right now. Walking over to him, Krolia awkwardly sat herself down beside him. Both her hands resting on her belly as she let out a soft grunt when settled. As he heaved again, she placed her hand on his back  
“It does get easier. Has Keith talked to you about the damage to your womb?”  
How was he supposed to answer that? “Nagaaah” didn’t even sound intelligible to his ears and he was the one making the sound  
“You had a partial placental abruption. It’s when the placenta partially separates from the uterine wall. The pod did repair the separation damage, but it’s also increased your risk of premature labour. There was a drug in your system that increased your healing, but also stressed both the twins. You need to tell me if you’re in pain. I’m not saying you’re going to miscarry, but we do need to be careful. An abruption could lead to further development issues later in life. Though, Galra genetics are generally quite good at preventing some Earthen difficulties. You were supposed to be in the infirmary, but we couldn’t keep you separated from Keith without Keith losing his temper. His Galra side emerging, bringing with it increased aggression. Are you in pain right now?”

Raising his head, Lance nodded. Krolia said to watch and monitor... She was as much more open now Keith wasn’t in the room. His husband wouldn’t have taken the news well  
“Cramps... and my skin feels tight... my chest feels really tender”  
“Your breasts are developing. Does it feel like your nipples have been dipped in glass?”  
“Mmmm. Please tell me that gets better too”  
“It will. Now, your cramps. How bad were they before you started throwing up?”  
“Everything that’s been hurting was... Boobs, hips, pelvis, spine... I woke up feeling good, but now I feel shit”  
Reaching out, Krolia’s right hand felt amazing against his forehead as she steadied him with her left  
“You don’t feel clammy. I would like it if you could please visit the infirmary. Think of it as repaying that favour of yours”  
“You did it? I mean... you said you would, but then I was attacked and...”  
“Of course I did. One appointment on Altea booked for your birthday. I mean, that day that you don’t want a fuss made of... And the second part of your favour is in my quarters for when you’re feeling up to it”  
“You didn’t have to... I mean... I know it must have been hard for you...”  
“A little, but not as hard as it would have been if I didn’t know he’d already passed. Have you told Keith yet?”  
“No. I wanted to surprise him. But then all of this happ... happened...”  
Krolia released him when he gagged mid-sentence, Lance coughing up more spit as his sides cramped  
“... it was supposed to be a good surprise. I’m so sorry, Krolia”

His favour wasn’t the easiest to ask for. It involved a trip to Altea or a trip down to the healing pods so Krolia could have her memory read. His favour had been... a little selfish, but what he’d wanted was for their twins to know their grandfather on Keith’s side. Keith didn’t have many photos. His childhood had been ruined, Krolia had been off being a badarse Blade member, while Keith felt like it was his fault his parents were no longer together. Having taken him home, Keith had been smacked in the face with family photo after family photo. His husband might have put on a brave face, but staying at Keith’s shack had shown him how much of his past his husband was missing. He wanted that silly dream of family photos on the mantle, Keith able to tell their children all about his firefighter father, while Lance watched on. He wanted to give Keith back the memories he’d lost. The loving family that had fallen apart thanks to an intergalactic war. With Krolia pregnant to Kolivan, he felt like a douche asking her to relive her life with the man she’d secretly hoped to be reunited with one day.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I didn’t realise how little Keith had physically to remember him by. Having him back with me, it slipped my mind that one day you would like to share the past with my grandchildren. Plus, it was nice to relieve Keith being so young and small. I never wanted to leave him, I feel like I lost a whole lifetime in the time we were apart... I’m glad he has you”  
“I don’t know why... he constantly has to take care of me. I hate it so much. I want to be someone he can rely on, but then I went and got myself hurt again”  
“You didn’t bring this upon yourself. I noticed you were controlling your breathing before. Does that help?”  
“It’s something my therapist said. I’m so stressed that I’m working in overdrive, that’s why I’m so close to panicking all the time and little things set me off. I have to stop and breathe more, they also said I have to admit my faults and accept the things I can’t handle because I have a tendency to “catastrophise”. I also over involve myself in the lives of my friends because I have no love for myself. It’s all complicated, but I’m trying. Breathing with Keith works the best to settle me down, but I’m feeling kind of smothered by him. No offence”  
Krolia laughed softly  
“None taken. He has been... rather difficult. He refused to listen to anyone, insisting that you needed to wake up in your bed with him”  
Lance groaned, his body was still trying to throw up. His throat burned, as did his sinuses. Morning sickness could suck his dick  
“See, that’s what makes it so hard. I don’t feel like we have proper conversations about things. Not until we end up fighting, then it turns into him babysitting me and me biting my tongue. Why does he have to be such a dick, then be so fucking nice? Why can’t he just pick a personality and stick with it? Why do men have to be so confusing?”  
“I can’t help you with that one. I’m dating Kolivan, after all. I think you’re handling things well. You are strong and you are brave. You’re handling this calmly. More calmly than most”  
Lance wasn’t so sure that he was “handling” things. He’d started panicking, run away from Hunk and was now being comforted by his mother-in-law  
“That’s only because you can’t see what’s going on in my head. If I told Keith that I was certain it was Blade member, or that I thought it was a recruit, he’d jump right to me being jealous over him and Krystaal. Whereas I can say this to you, and you can understand how my thought pattern led me to that conclusion. Trouble has only happened when I’m around Keith. Each and every time. It didn’t happen when I was at the outpost... They... also said that they wouldn’t take aide from someone like me... but it felt more like they’d rather I went back home and cut all ties... I don’t know. Maybe I do but I can’t think. It’s so confusing in my head”  
“Pregnancy is great for that. Baby brain is a real thing. I was getting dressed earlier and completely forgot that pants were a thing. I was confused as to why my Blade wouldn’t sit in the belt of my pants”  
Lance was shocked  
“Really?”  
“Yep. Now, I think you should sit and sip some water. Hunk brought some ginger tea that should help with the nausea”  
Ugh... food didn’t sound appealing. Ginger even less... It sounded too much like real food and real food hadn’t been his friend at all during this pregnancy  
“Don’t scrunch your nose up until you’ve tried it”  
“I can’t handle that much food... My body isn’t handling anything with actual taste”

Humming, Krolia gathered him against her the best she could. His skin prickled at the contact, but Krolia was the only one he could talk to about this. He didn’t know any other pregnant Galra, not to mention he didn’t want to open up to some random stranger. He didn’t even want to open up to Krolia, but she was the grandmother of his twins, she had a right to have a say in his pregnancy  
“Lance, that’s the last thing you need. You and your babies need the nutrients”  
“I know. But... I’m so tired all of the time. I’m sick of it. I don’t even know I’m excited about this pregnancy at all. No one knows how it’s going to play out and I’m tired. So quiznakking tired. I want to go home. I want to go back to my outpost and throw all this confusion away. I want to have a job, and I want to feel like I’m contributing... not causing trouble”  
Too tired to cry, he rubbed at his stomach. He didn’t hate his babies, but he still wasn’t over the moon about it all. That had to make him a bad mother...  
“You did not cause this incident. As for returning home, I’m afraid that’s going to be postponed. We’re starting a tour of coalition planets”  
“Fuck the coalition”  
Krolia snorted  
“Seeing I’ve met most of the leaders, that’s a hard no”  
“Mum!”  
“I mean, sure, some of them...”

Detangling himself from Krolia, he realised he’d been tricked into smiling. She still scared the quiznak out of him... and probably always would  
“I see what you did there?”  
Krolia gave a smug smile, a hand coming up to ruffle his hair almost affectionately  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Let’s get you up off this floor. Fluids. Food... then a trip to the infirmary. I’ll rearrange everything... and who knows, maybe I’ll get to see my little grandchildren”  
“So that’s what it’s about. Not me, but the babies. You sound like Keith now. He couldn’t care less about the vessel, just the pups”  
The joke fell flat. His emotional yo-yo deciding he needed to sound pissy instead of funny. They both seemed kind of shocked, Krolia quick to sweep it under the rug by ignoring it  
“Right. Now, are you getting up first then helping me up? Or am I getting up and helping you up? Or should we call Keith to help both of us up?”  
“Keith would worry too much”  
Krolia scrunched her face up, before signing heavily  
“Oooook. I’ll get up then help you up. I’m the professional here with experience”  
“You’re also carrying one to my two”  
“Oh? You want to pick a fight with me now?”  
“Nope. Please, help me up, mum. I am at your mercy”  
“That you are”


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait! This chapter tried to murder me in my sleep, then I’ve fallen into the trap of playing minecraft again.
> 
> Alas, I don’t know how feel over my struggles.

The infirmary wasn’t a fun place at the best of times. Keith’s instincts left his husband cranky and brooding, sitting in the corner of the room Lance was now occupying for the next few nights. Krolia was sitting in the visitor's chair beside his bed, because unlike Keith, she could keep her temper. Poking had turned to prodding, prodding had turned to scans, scans had turned to an IV and a monitor strapped across his stomach. That led to Veronica interrupting their “family” moment, his sister now sitting on the end of his bed as she talked to their mother, angry that Kosmo had stolen the prime position. Kosmo listened to no one. He was his own wolf. He was his own wolf that was laying up along his side with his head on Lance’s shoulder. Veronica had tried scolding him, telling Lance to scold him, “ordering” Keith to evict him off the bed because it couldn’t possibly be good for him or the twins... She’d even tried sitting on the edge of the bed and forcing him off, nothing had worked. Lance was secretly glad it hadn’t. He’d missed his dopey wolf, and from the look of it, Kosmo had missed him too. 

“Lance, Mami wants to talk to you”  
Rising from her chair Krolia held her hand out for Veronica’s comms. Lance wasn’t able to move due to Kosmo, not that he wanted to move  
“Krolia, the call is for Lance”  
“I don’t see you moving to pass him your comms”  
It was as if two vipers were poised to attack each other. The look in their eyes sent a shiver down his spine. Veronica and Krolia were both strong-willed women, that scared him in near equal parts. Narrowing her eyes at Kosmo, he cuddled his baby boy closer, knowing he was about to the object of her anger  
“How can I with that wolf there?”  
“Gracious. Here I thought both sides of the bed were accessible. Kosmo, you seemed to have grown larger than you appear”  
“I’m his brother”  
“Kosmo’s? I thought you were Lance’s older sister”  
As the invisible sparks flew, Lance kind of wished he was sulking in the corner with Keith. Veronica was scary enough without being provoked. Krolia had thoroughly burned his sister, cruelly if he was asked. Though, it was only cruel because he couldn’t laugh. His mother-in-law sounded as if she’d been part of the family for decades.

“Veronica! Pass the comms to Krolia! I can’t see anything!”  
“You wanted to talk to Lance”  
“And I still do. Now pass the comm to Krolia. I know she’s grown up enough not be upset over a wolf”  
Ooooh. His mother was in fine form too. Veronica very nearly snapped her comms as she set her jaw and handed the device to Krolia with a cool glare. Ignoring her, Krolia smiled brightly as she settled back down. From where he was propped up, he could see his mother’s anxious face  
“Krolia! Dear, how is he?”  
“We’ve settled him in the infirmary for now. Minor hiccup with morning sickness. We’re going to run a series of allergy tests as he’s having trouble keeping things down. Simply precautionary. The twins are being monitored, but things are much as they were when we spoke. Only, he’s awake now”  
“Thank goodness. I’ve been wondering if I should come. But what can one doddering old lady do”  
“Now, now, Miriam. You look amazing. Five children and that figure...”  
His mother giggled. Honest to God, giggled. What the quiznak was going on here?  
“Krolia, we both know a few things are below the belt by now”  
“I refuse to believe it. I’ll pass you over to Lance now”  
“Thank you. I’m sorry about Veronica. Lord only knows where she gets her stubbornness from”  
From his Mami. Veronica’s stubbornness was one hundred per cent from their Mami  
“It’s perfectly fine, Miriam. Young pups have their moment”

Veronica had no idea she’d just been called a baby. Lance sucking in his lips at the insult. Krolia knew he was struggling, so she threw in a wink. Laughter bubbled up as he took Veronica’s comms from Krolia. He didn’t think he needed all this fuss over morning sickness, but there was no stopping Krolia. Tilting the comms to his face, his mother set her face in “mum mode”  
“What did you do this time?”  
“Hi, Mami. I’m ok. Twins are great. Keith says hi”  
“Lance. You’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be picking fights”  
Nope. She was pissed. Her expression didn’t change the slightest  
“Mami, I wasn’t picking a fight. I was defending myself”  
“I’ve read. I’ve had Marco calling daily for updates. Your team wanted to storm Daibazaal and take you away from there. I bet you haven’t called poor Daehra, have you? Do they know who’s responsible yet?”  
“No, Mami. It’s complicated. I’ve been sleeping off the pod, and now Krolia is channelling you. The cast’s off my leg, knee all healed up”  
“And what if you didn’t have access to the pod? What if you were stuck healing the normal way? Did our Keith have his foot looked at? Don’t tell me you’ve both been neglecting your health”  
Lance rolled his eyes, swapping to Spanish simply because Keith didn’t know Spanish  
“Mami, he’s fine. Daehra fixed it right up. I’m ok too. Krolia suggested that I might have developed an allergy. I didn’t know that was a thing. I’m good. I’ve been out to talk to my therapist. I’m safe with Keith and Kosmo. I know you’re going to tell me to go back home, but I’m fine. Had a scan about half an hour ago, both twins still intact”  
“You need to be careful. Your health has been so fragile. I really do wish you’d consider coming back home. I worry for you, and for Keith”  
“I can’t Mami. The coalition is sending us on a publicity tour... I may have upset them”  
“Did they do this? Did they hurt you and my grand-babies? Do I need to talk to them? How many people have you upset?”  
Lance let out a sigh  
“Mami, if I started listing everyone who wanted me dead... it’s better you don’t think about that. I have some new twin scans to send you, or Krolia can of you message her. And tell Marco to call me if he wants to talk to me. I didn’t have a chance to call Daehra. The second Keith saw I was awake, it’s been one thing after another. They’ve put me on an anti-nausea thing...”  
Against his wishes. Keith didn’t even try to back him up. He was too busy being mad and glaring at all the medical staff  
“... Besides, they want me to stay here because of the pods”  
“Why must you get into so much trouble?”  
“I wasn’t getting into trouble when I was at the outpost”  
“Don’t give me that, Lance. The only thing that’s changed is that you cannot get away with things”  
“Hey! I’ve been on my best behaviour”  
“Says the man who hid from his mother that he could fall pregnant”  
“Of course I hide things from you. I don’t want you to worry any more than you have to”  
“Do not take that tone with me, Mijo. I am well aware I would probably faint on the spot if I knew half of what you did”  
“I was attacked going to the bathroom”  
“Why were you going to the bathroom alone?”  
“Because after 23ish years of existence, I know how to pee alone”  
“Why wasn’t Keith with you?”  
“Because he doesn’t need to hold my hand”  
“Obviously, he does”  
“He was supposed to be getting his humanitarian award. He was on stage with Krolia. Mami, I want you to be careful. If this is related to Kre’el, they could go after you”  
“Do you believe it’s related?”  
Lance paused. No. He honestly didn’t... not that he knew exactly who was  
“I can’t say and that worries me”  
“We’ll be safe, Mijo. You stay safe. My heart couldn’t take it if I lost you”  
“Mami, I’m being safe... I am. This is all Krolia overreacting”  
“Krolia doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman who’d overreact. If you need me to come, I will”  
“No. No, Mami. It was a fight that got out of hand. And you know how I feel about the coalition”

His mother sighed deeply. He may or may not have yelled at her more than once that he wanted nothing to do with them, and that they could shove their job offers where God’s light didn’t shine...  
“Mijo, if you’re not comfortable with this, then step back. You don’t have to turn yourself into a public spectacle”  
“I do, Mami. People need something to believe in. Allura gave her life for peace, and they’ve brought stability, even if I don’t agree with their methods. If they’re lost, then someone else is going to step up. I’m not doing this for them. I’m doing it for Keith and his dream of the Galra no longer being feared and hated. I’m doing this for our children. I’m so sick of it all, Mami. I didn’t go looking for this fight. I’m tired of my name being used to spread all these lies. I’m the useless and disgraced Paladin, and I’m sorry you’ve been caught up in it... we had a good run. 5 phoebs before it all went downhill”  
“Oh, Mijo. Is Keith there? Can I talk to him?”  
“If you’re going to dob me into him, I’d rather not. He’s been having a mental breakdown since everything happened. Everyone’s fussing way too much, and he’s not ok”  
“Someone has to fuss. Now put him on for me”  
Lance sighed to himself  
“Make the pregnant person do all the hard work...”  
“I am and I will. You brought this upon yourself”  
“Thanks, Mami. Nice to know you love me”  
“I do. We do. We all do”  
Lance raised an eyebrow  
“I would bet you GAC that Rachel isn’t rushing to tell me she loves me”  
His mother’s expression changed at his sister name. Rachel must now know he was pregnant and not pleased at all over the news  
“Rachel will when she’s calmed down. Now pass me over to Keith”

“Keith, Mami wants to talk to you”  
Holding out the comms, Keith eyed it as if it was something toxic, mouthing at him “why me?”. At least, that’s what Lance thought he was mouthing. Waving the comms, his husband remained seated until Lance glared at him. Dragging himself up, Keith snatched the comms from him, stalking through the infirmary room then out the door  
“He does realise that’s my comms, doesn’t he?”  
Lance shrugged. Mami was a woman on a mission  
“It’s Mami. Do you want to tell her that she can’t talk to her favourite son?”  
“You’re the “prodigal son”. As long as you’re safe and well, it doesn’t matter how much you worry everyone around you”  
“And you’re acting like a bitch. I don’t know why we keep having this fight, V. I’m your brother. You know I didn’t pick this fight. You’re so much like Marco that it’s laughable. You both lash out when you’re worried, only making both of us feel shit. Yeah, I lied to you. I kept things from you. But that’s because I’m sick of being treated as anything other than normal. I get that I’m a freak, but you’re my big sister. I always knew you had my back. I’ve ruined and disappointed our family enough. I don’t even know why any of this happened. I don’t want to be in the news for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to live at my outpost and be left alone. Somewhere you screwed up little brother wouldn’t cause you any more embarrassment”  
Veronica pushes her glasses back up her nose  
“It’s not that! We were so close and you hid it from me. I thought you trusted me. I want you to come to me... I don’t want any of this for you either. But I don’t understand... I could have been there with you. I would have been there with you”  
“For which bit? There’s a lot that’s happened. I don’t want to always be calling when things have gone wrong. I can handle things when I’m alone, V. It’s when other people are involved that it becomes complicated”

The machine behind him let out a series of beeps, both he and Veronica looking to Krolia for an explanation  
“Your blood pressure just rose. I think it’s best you both admit that you’ve each stuffed up, but that you each love each other and call it a day. Both of you should know better, you’re acting like a pair of pups”  
Lance ducked his head, Veronica was wearing an expression as if she’d been sucking on a lemon  
“Sorry, Mumma K. V, you should go. I’m ok. I’m hooked up to these machines, and all I’m gonna be doing is eating and drinking to see what I can keep down”  
He hadn’t kept down the ginger tea. The scent had made him more nauseous, the taste was like drinking battery acid, or how he imagined it would taste. Following up with food, the spread of bread, soup and fruit... He’d managed a little of the bread, the soup tasted wrong and the consistency of the fruit was hard and chewy. His gums started bleeding thanks to the fruit, Keith started panicking over the blood. Lance ended up choking on some space version of a pineapple chunk as Keith tried to fuss and baby him while he coughed painfully from the feeling of the fruit, Krolia saved him from his panicking husband and now they were here. There was some kind of condition that wasn’t simple morning sickness, Krolia was worried he had it, but Daehra hadn’t diagnosed him so he doubted that he did. Krolia trusted Daibazaal’s medics, Lance didn’t. Nonetheless, he was sure it was on the test list... A completely useless test list. He’d been in a pod. There wasn’t a whole lot that could be wrong with him. A little nausea wasn’t going to kill him, all this was providing to be was a major stressor for Keith, which in turn was raising his own stress levels, because he feared for his husband  
“Krolia, can you tell Keith we need to talk. He might be hiding outside”  
“I expect he’s still talking to Miriam, but I will notify him. You get some rest. I’ll be back later and you better believe I’ll know if you haven’t”  
“I’m behaving. V, you can head off too. I’m fine. This is one huge overreaction”  
Veronica shot him a glare  
“Your health is nothing to be joked about. You need to be careful. And don’t think I’m not still upset over your seizures, let alone your pregnancy. You have far too many secrets and I’m going to get to the bottom of it all”  
“If keeping my secrets means having you hate me for the rest of my life, then I know what I’m choosing. I love you, V, but it’s better this way”  
“And you’re my brother. You’ve got to stop ending up here”  
“I know. Now go. Go make the most of your time with Acxa. We’re all about to get a whole lot busier”  
Veronica climbed off the end of the bed, she seemed as if she was going to hug him, but was disused by Kosmo’s hulking mass. Within a few ticks, both she and Krolia were gone and Lance finally had 5 ticks to himself to think.

*  
Standing in the corridor beside Lance’s room, Keith had his back against the smooth grey stone as he stared down at Veronica’s comms. Miriam was worried about him. Mami was so worried about both of them that she’d asked Keith to bring Lance home to Cuba if he wasn’t coping, or if Keith felt he was no longer able to care for Lance. Anger bled into frustration, that bled into self annoyance. He was trying his best... but he was exhausted. His instincts were being stupid, and that apology he owed Lance seemed to be stuck in his throat. Lance suspected Krystaal of being behind everything that happened, leaving him quiznakking pissed that his husband could be so petty and jealous... the same feelings that Shiro and Lance’s newfound closeness had spurred within him. He might be mad, but it was himself that he was mad at... and maybe a bit with Mami. Lance should have been safe to go to the bathroom alone. He should have been there to make sure he was. Not stuck on some stage he didn’t want to be on. They’d been spending so much time together, but... he didn’t know what he kept doing wrong. Lance was very clearly mad at him when they were back in their room... and Keith wasn’t sure why. His husband had finally woken after sleeping off the pod’s effects. He hadn’t said anything “wrong” that he could think of. The feelings in his heart were akin to standing by the door to the principal's office, only this time he had no idea what he’d done wrong. He hadn’t gotten into a fight. He hadn’t stolen anything or acted out. He couldn’t help it that he didn’t understand... He was trying his best.

Ignoring the slight grating noise that accompanied the door to Lance’s room sliding open, Keith could tell from the scents alone that it was Veronica and Krolia. Holding out Veronica’s comms, the device was taken from his hand. His sister-in-law not saying anything as she took it and left. Placing her hand on his hair, Krolia ruffled it lightly  
“You know he’s ok. He’s only here because of the allergy test, and the risk of that drug, impacting the twins. He said he wants to talk to you”  
About what? He didn’t want to talk if it only led to another fight... His instincts were exhausting. Keith wasn’t sure they wouldn’t flare. He’d screwed up royally by taking Lance from the infirmary in the first place... He wouldn’t be back in the infirmary only vargas after waking if he hadn’t been so hot headed  
“Maybe I should let him sleep?”  
“Get in there and talk to your husband already”

Dragging his feet, Keith fought against his instincts as he headed back into the infirmary room. Lance was still cuddled into Kosmo, Kosmo’s tail thumping as he scratched under his chin  
“Mum said you wanted to talk?”  
Lance nodded, stopping his scratches as he did. Huffing as it was the end of the world, Kosmo slumped down like he knew that scratches had to come to end so his two humans could talk  
“Yeah. Are you going to hide in the corner again? It looks like a nice corner”  
Keith glanced to the corner he’d been “hiding” in, it was a pretty nice corner...  
“Babe, come on. I’m joking. Here, Kosmo’s claimed this side but I’ve got space up here and I thought we could talk”  
His instincts said “Yes!”, his feet, however, said “no”. The best he could manage was an awkward shuffling of his feet. Lance biting his lip before he shook his head, forcing a fake smile to his lips. Fuck... if that wasn’t a kick in the heart. He hated that smile with all the power of the burning sun... or suns... every single sun they’d ever passed  
“It’s ok. I thought we should talk, but if you want to go then that’s okay. I’m going to be here a few days, so whenever’s fine”

“I fucked up. I couldn’t handle you being in here. I took you back to our room and now we’re back here because I fucked up. I didn’t listen to you. I laughed in your face when you got that letter and I didn’t listen. You were seriously shaken, and I thought it was one of your nightmares. You were scared and I shot you down. Every time I shot you down. You said this was a possibility, and I should have listened. No wonder you went and talked to Shiro. It’s my fault that you ended up in here. Mami’s probably right. I told her I’d protect you, and instead, you’re back here again because I thought I was doing the right thing taking you back to our room. I didn’t want you in here with other people. What if you’d lost the twins. That would have been my fault. You could have been killed, and I was up on that stage. Fuck, Lance, I don’t know what to do. Your health’s all over the place. Someone wants to hurt you. You’re pregnant and I keep losing my temper. I’ve got no idea what to do. We’ve got to go on this tour. You’re pregnant. We’ve got twins on the way. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You have no idea how much blood there was. I don’t even understand how you’re still pregnant. I don’t understand any of this pregnancy things. How do you suddenly have allergies? Have you always had allergies? Do the twins have allergies?”

The more Keith spoke, the faster the words came out. He was deaf to most of it, speaking out of fear. Word vomiting out of fear. Word after word turning into a jumble as messy and tangled as his emotions. He had no idea what was up, or what was down. His heartbeat was pounding in his ears as he stumbled as if drunk, taking one step back and one to the side, he threw up, then promptly fainted on the spot. Scaring the absolute quiznak out of Lance as he did.

*  
When Keith came too, he was seated in Lance’s lap. His face against his husband’s neck as Lance’s fingertips massaged his scalp. Wrinkling his face, his mouth tasted revolting. He didn’t remember how he’d ended up on the hard floor, but Lance was hushing him softly. Kissing his temple, Lance sighed softly against him  
“Hello, sleepy. Nice to have you back in the land of the conscious”  
“What happened?”  
“You pulled a “me”. Had a spectacular panic attack, then fainted. Krolia wasn’t too far away, Kosmo rounded her up. And we’ve been sitting here on the bed like this for the last varga or so”  
Keith groaned. He didn’t remember panicking... He didn’t remember much after Lance smiled so horribly... they were on the bed? Then why was it so quiznakking hard?  
“Why does my mouth feel gross?”  
“You threw up. How do you feel? Are you tired? I didn’t want to move you until you woke up. Krolia left you to me, not that I mind”  
For his pregnant husband to have been sitting there for the last varga... it made him feel shitty...  
“You should have just sat me in the corner”  
“Nah. I wasn’t sure this would work, but it’s what you do for me, so I thought it’d help keep you grounded when you woke”  
Lance’s fingertips felt amazing against his head. Keith couldn’t deny his head didn’t feel weird... kind of empty, as if he was mentally drained and definitely disorientated  
“Thanks...”

Nuzzling into his husband’s neck, Keith sighed softly. Kissing his temple again, Lance nuzzled him back  
“Pidge will be back soon, do you want to stay in my lap or lay beside me?”  
“Pidge?”  
“She came by while you were sleeping. Screamed and everything”  
“She screamed?”  
“She thought you were... straddling my lap for another reason”  
“Pidge thought you were...”  
“Yep”  
“Ugh. In the infirmary?”  
“Yep. Pretty much. She calmed down when she realised you weren’t actually moving and still had pants on. I told her you fell asleep. You’re probably exhausted from not just your attack, but looking after me too”  
“I’m fine”

Lance laughed softly, though it wasn’t in humour  
“Babe, you’re not fine. I said we need to talk, and you panicked. It can wait though. It’s a crappy feeling when you’re coming out of an attack and you’re being made to think”  
“‘m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you”  
“It wasn’t your job too. Your job was to be on stage, not to worry about me. If anyone should be worrying, it’s me about you. Panic attacks are awful. I think it’d do you some good to talk to To’ral”  
“I’m fine. I didn’t mean to scare you”  
“You’re scared. I know you’re scared. You’re trapped in your head thinking things over and over. I do it too. Take a few deep breaths, and stay here. You saw the scans. The pod fixed the damage right up. Your pups are still safe and healthy, being monitored until the drug is out of my system. You need to let yourself rest”  
“I’m still sorry”  
He was. He truly was sorry he’d ignored the signs out of a desperate need to believe that Kre’el was firmly behind them. He was truly sorry that Lance had been attacked. He was sorry that he’d taken his husband from the infirmary too soon, endangering Lance’s life, and that of their twins  
“It’s ok. It’s ok and I’m here. I’ve got you, Keith. I’ve got you”

Keith remained curled into his husband until Pidge returned... with Hunk. Hunk seemed flustered, hanging in the background as Keith moved carefully from Lance’s lap to lay at his side. His arm wrapped around his husband with his head resting on his shoulder so he could see Pidge. Armed with her holopad, the previous green Paladin went to work tapping on the screen while Hunk moved to take the seat in the corner, his movies clumsy with nerves. The space felt awkward to him. Their friends felt like intruders. Lance’s stomach was wired up, evident from the wires snaked out from under his semi-risen gown. The blankets in his lap and his sweats giving him at least some level of modesty.

“Keith, I can feel you glaring”  
Hugging him tighter, Lance snorted at Pidge’s comment. Keith felt stupid as quiznak as he hid behind his pregnant husband, but it wasn’t his fault he hardly felt like socialising  
“It’s kind of his thing, remember. Dark. Broody. Emo... You know, he hasn’t changed that much in the last decade. Did Krolia fill you in on my theory?”  
“For a dumbarse, you’re pretty smart. She sent me the data from the thermal cameras, and you were right. There was a second person at the scene. They cloaked themselves against the scanners, but they still left residual heat signatures on the door edge where they touched it. We weren’t looking for it, because of how your attacker moved, and the fact he was drugged before the attack. When he showed up shot in the head, that should have raised more red-flags, but I was busy worrying about your idiot arse. How did you end up back here?”  
“Allergies”  
Pidge wrinkled her nose  
“Thanks to a certain someone, I’ve been reading up on pregnancy. I didn’t even know you could develop allergies while pregnant. Have they told you what yet?”  
“What I’m allergic to? No. It’s a theory Krolia is forcing me to pursue in this stylish room. I have to say, I’m sick of hospitals”  
“I’m sick of you being in them. How are my minions? Still baking?”  
“Yep. Pod healed them right up. The minion carrier is also alright”  
“Excellent. I can’t have an army of minions without said minions. I still can’t believe you’re pregnant”  
“Surprise?”  
Pidge laughed as she continued to tap on her screen. Keith felt his instincts rile at Pidge’s teasing, nuzzling harder into Lance as he tried to squash them back down  
“I still have questions, but seeing you got your arse handed to you, I’ll play nice for now”  
“Nawww. Were you worried?”  
“Pffft. No. But if you do it again, you won’t have some secret gang after you”  
“Understood, Pigeon. What other news have you got for me? I’m so out of the loop that the loops falling asleep on me”  
Wrinkling her nose, Pidge shook her head  
“I don’t need to know who does what bit to whom”  
“Coming from the woman who thought Keith and I were having sex here. Trust me...”  
Pidge covered her ears, Lance shutting up immediately  
“I said I’m sorry! You two already made babies so we know you can’t keep it in your pants”  
“You don’t have to take your pants off...”  
“I think I liked it better when you were in the pod!”

Growling at Pidge, Lance jabbed him in the ribs. Keith didn’t appreciate the gesture. He knew Lance was nowhere near as comfortable with Pidge being there as he was acting. He knew that Hunk’s presence wasn’t welcomed either and that his husband was simply playing the bigger man by not raising a fuss or making a scene. Technically he had no reason to be mad at the pair, especially when he hoped Lance would reconnect with them, but that didn’t mean they needed to do it while Lance was confined to the infirmary wing of the palace  
“Ignore him, Pidge. It’s a Galra thing. Are you coming on tour with us?”  
“Nope. New students are coming into the garrison for the start of the second semester. I’m not having one of them risk my experiments”  
“Gotta defend that lab of yours”  
“Yep. They forced me to take on a second assistant. They were useless. I mean, worse than you with the “techno-babble”. If it’s in my lab, that means you don’t touch it. Even if I let you touch it, it’s not alright. Let alone when they get it into their heads they have to clean my lab. Can’t a girl leave parts around without someone deciding that maybe “the floor should be cleared of all trip hazards”? Iverson suggested teaching, but how do you train monkeys whose only enjoyment in life is ruining mine?”  
“Sucks to be you. You could branch out on your own”  
“Try telling my mother that. Hunk and Shay are going. Though from the sound of it, it’s mostly going to be Keith’s team, you guys, Krolia, Shiro and Curtis that actually visit wherever the coalitions decided. Sucks to be you”  
“Touché, gremlin. Think of all that tech we’re gonna see without you”  
“It hurts, but if it means not seeing you two being gross than I’ll survive”  
“You’re just jealous”  
Rolling her eyes, Pidge climbed out the of the visitor's chair  
“No offence Keith, but Lance you’re the only person in the universe who’d marry him. You can keep him. And because I’m a great friend, I sent you the thermal recordings and related data. If you ever pull something like that again, I’m going to kick your arse myself”  
“Awwww, I knew you cared about me. Thanks for this, Pidge. It’d be nice to know who’s after me this time and why. At least space pirates have the decency to attack me for a reason”  
“Don’t think I won’t turn into one if you get hurt again”  
“That genuinely scares me”  
“I’ll come back and visit you again when Keith isn’t giving me death stares”  
“Ignore him. That’s what I do”  
Pidge laughed, behind him there was a scraping as Hunk climbed to his feet. Walking over to Pidge, he was nervously wringing his hands, his eyes flicking towards them before he opened his mouth and closed it, then following Pidge when she gave a wave and headed out.

When the door closed behind them, Lance let out a sigh. The rigidity in his limbs loosening as he half rolled towards him. Tilting his head up, Keith stole a soft kiss from his husband, Lance closing his eyes as he tried to wrap his arms around him. Shifting to accommodate Lance’s stomach, they wound up nuzzling into each other’s cheeks, Lance’s voice a whisper  
“You ok, babe?”  
“I should be asking you that”  
“I’m getting there. I’m more worried about you right now”  
“I’m ok. Sorry about my instincts...”  
“I could smell your anger. I know you want to protect me, but we’re going to need to work this anger out”  
“I know... I’m sorry for making you so uncomfortable”  
“By knocking me up, or with your “cranky pants” scent?”  
“Either. Either. Both... I don’t know what I’m doing anymore”  
Choking softly on the emotions welling, Keith closed his eyes. This panic attack business really quiznakking sucked. He didn’t prefer Lance to be the one having the attack, but I felt out of his depths to handle his own. Kissing his cheek, Lance’s right hand found his left, interlacing their fingers together lightly  
“I don’t know what I’m doing either... I’m sorry for falling pregnant...”  
“Don’t... don’t apologise and don’t blame yourself. At the moment, these twins... they’re our future. I don’t want to keep fucking up”  
“We both fuck up semi-regularly. It’s kind of our thing. Technically we didn’t even know we were married”  
“But when I fuck up... you end up hurt. I’m so sick of you being hurt. I’m so sick of it. I’m sick of you crying. I’m sick of making you cry”  
“Shhh... You’re going to push yourself into another attack”  
Keith didn’t care if he did. He didn’t remember what he’d said to Lance, only that Lance was handling things too well which had to mean something else was on his mind so he was attempting to distract himself  
“Why can’t I get it right with you?”  
“That’s enough, babe”  
Lance’s voice was gentle yet firm, Keith wasn’t about to have him have the last word. He was too emotionally drained, speaking freely much like Lance did when he was tired  
“It’s... it’s all so complicated. When everyone’s around, they’re always there. I like it better when they aren’t”  
“It’s still hard to be around them... Hunk didn’t say a word. He’s probably revolted still... they’re supposed to be our friends. We have to try...”  
“I’m too tired to try”

Keith was too tired to do much of anything. All he wanted was a world of their own. Where he could live up to his personal promise to protect his husband, no matter when or from whom... even the times he’d protected Lance from himself didn’t way on him the way this attack had  
“You don’t get to give up. It’s been a quiznakkingly awful return, but we’re ok. We’ll do this stupid tour. Then I want to go home. This exhaustion. I feel it all the time. The constant judging. The constant wondering if you’re doing the right thing. If you’ve said something stupid. Done the wrong thing. Wondering how messed up your head is. If they can see how scared and messed up you are about being around them”  
“Then why are you still here?”  
Lance’s sigh bordered on a groan  
“Because our marriage was falling apart. I was falling apart. I wanted to make it work with you because for some unknown fucking reason I still love you. But if you ever, ever, treat me like you did, accusing me of cheating, making me feel like a whore, making me feel like a dirty disgusting vile thing for being too upset to tell you I needed to go see my therapist, I’m going to leave. I am going to leave and I won’t be coming back. I don’t blame you for taking me back to your room. The fact I’m here again isn’t your fault. I’m here because allergies are apparently a thing like I told Pidge. I’m here because I’m a fucked up junkie and someone knows. They shot me up and it could still hurt our twins. That’s why I’m here. Now just shut up already and give me cuddles because you’re exhausted and I’m done with everyone that’s not you or Kosmo... or Krolia. Mumma K can stay. Shiro’s alright, so is Curtis. Everyone else, I’m done. The way people carry on, it’s like they’ve never met a pregnant person before. I’m so fucking done”

Lance’s words were hardly comforting or soothing, something that didn’t match the intimacy of their position. His husband’s anger seemed to catch in his nose, and the way his voice didn’t waver was enough to tell Keith that Lance meant every word of it. It also told him it was better to “shut up” now, and let his husband’s anger fade rather than pushing or stepping on some unknown mine that would send them into another fight. The fact that Lance was threatening to leave tugged heavily on his heart. Maybe if he’d remained silent, his husband wouldn’t have snapped like this... although, he also supposed that Lance had reached the end of his emotional rope long before the incident and was finally putting his needs first instead of going along with everyone else’s plans and desires... but then again, Lance had asked about the planned coalition tour... so maybe that was what had set him off this time? Caused him to snap, because Pidge had laughed at the issue? His mind was no better than food goop in his head. Everything felt all blended together... too blended together for him to hope to part. Kissing his husband and telling him how much he loved him would simply be an insult if he was to do it now... but he didn’t know how to do any of this, or how things would proceed. Scrunching his eyes against the unwanted tears emotional exhaustion had caused, he clung to Lance for dear life, because, right now, what else could he do?


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was gonna be my time skip chapter... then this car crash of a chapter happened

Life was over as he knew it. Four quintants in the infirmary wasn’t without its dramas. Two seizures due to not being able to take his medication that Daehra had formulated, then finding out that what had been left had been destroyed in case it’d been tainted, followed by two certain annoying visitors left Lance cranky. Keith had been kicked out. Kosmo evicted. His back and hips hurt from constantly sitting up, his stomach felt uncomfortable, his skin itchy from trailing his suspected allergens on him, and Veronica was still a bitch. Throw in a nightmare from Keith where his husband had given him a black eye sending in him into the holy mother of panic attacks because his messed up mind couldn’t comprehend that it’d been his actual husband who’d punched him and not someone trying to kill him, and Keith’s guilt over it... Lance wasn’t sure he was in better condition than when he arrived there. Veronica had binged all things baby and pregnancy, getting on his case over his weight and lack of eating... which wasn’t his fault. He was on a bland and basic diet while they conducted their allergy tests... from which he learned he’d developed an allergy to the “Solanaceae” family. Whatever that was. On the plus side, he wasn’t allergic to everything, on the not so plus side, he was allergic to everything that made his Mami’s cooking amazing. No more chillies, capsicums, or anything that actually gave good flavour. He had a slight allergy to wheat, the rest were all slight allergies too but to his overdramatic arse, it sucked intergalactic testicles and his life was ruined. The real issue was his newly found allergy to aloe vera. He wasn’t allergic enough to cause anaphylaxis, no, simply allergic enough to cause blotchy red welty hives that drove him crazy. It also explained the reaction he’d had to Krolia’s suggested bubble bath, the main ingredient being aloe vera. Everything else on his list just made him nauseous and, or, vomit, though could worsen and could also be a permanent thing, so he needed to be constantly careful. Krolia had someone working on some kind of scanner for him. Lance strongly felt that that would be Pidge too, yet his mother-in-law didn’t say as much.

Keith was worried stupid, yet again, another reason why his husband was evicted. He was taking things badly after hitting him. They’d talked a little over the test results, which preceded Veronica talking all things baby and all the risks that came with having a baby. Somewhere around the talk of signs of symptoms he needed to be paying close attention to, he’d lost his head and started screaming at her. He didn’t need all her facts and figures. That’d started his first seizure. Veronica gone when he woke, while he felt like an arse for yelling at her when she was trying her hardest to understand and to make sure he was educated over things that were “wrong”. Drowsy from his seizure, he’d fallen asleep in Keith’s arms. Keith had them had his nightmare, no doubt thanks to all the shit the doctors and Veronica had put in his head, then mid-panic attack, he’d ended up having his second seizure. He had no memory of the panic attack or seizure, only the lasting pain from his contracting muscles. Keith was on edge from having been constantly left to support him through all the freakin’ tests they’d had to do. Sending him away was the kindest thing Lance could do. If his husband apologised one more time, he was tempted to throw him out the nearest open window. They’d both hit each other before, coming out of attacks or nightmares, so they had a silent “agreement” that though it might feel quiznak, they understood that after all they’d been through, things like this might happen and the best way to get through it was to talk. Keith hadn’t wanted to talk about his nightmare, yet slowly and surely Lance had coaxed it from his husband’s lips, if he had open up about all his messed up dreams and feelings there was no way that Keith wasn’t. He’d been in labour, but instead of pushing out one of their twins, it’d been some octopus thing, which he’d promptly punched in the face. Laughing had been the wrong answer. Keith getting huffy. It was bad enough that his husband seemed scared to cuddle him, afraid he might fall asleep and punch another octopus in his sleep. So his eviction was for his own good... 

Before his allergy test on the morning of the second day imprisoned, Zethrid and Ezor had come to visit. The pair of them were painfully loud and annoying, though they did bring him the Galra equivalent of a “get well soon” balloon bouquet, buying themselves some goodwill and favour as the balloons were unexpected and broke the monotony of grey walls. Chatting away with him about the upcoming tour, Ezor was merciless as she teased Keith over being “the prince of Daibazaal”. She also teased him over his lack of training, and getting slow and fat because of it. Unable to currently take the joke, Ezor pushed Keith into a “half-shift” where his eyes went yellow and his fingernails began to extend. Until then, Lance had kind of enjoyed the conversation. Not the loudness of it. Ezor and Zethrid both seemed to be speaking as if they thought him deaf, no. It was more the fact that they hadn’t apologised for what happened. They didn’t make a fuss other than the balloons. Nor did they repeatedly ask if he was feeling ok. It was as if they’d simply shrugged their shoulders at the whole matter as it didn’t involve their personal lives. He loved them for it. The pair frog jumping Acxa and Veronica in his mental list. Acxa had wanted to come but understood that he might not want too many visitors so had sent a card... A card he didn’t get until after it’d landed in the hands of Ezor and Zethrid. Ezor had gotten her gum between the fold, and Zethrid had let it be scrunched in her pocket. He couldn’t be mad about either thing. His siblings had done far worse as they were growing up. The annoying bit came from Ezor’s screechy laugh of Keith’s partial transformation. His anger on behalf of his husband who was dealing with enough as it was. After they’d been politely evicted with a little showmanship, he’d gagged as clamped a hand to his mouth like he was going to vomit causing Ezor to wrinkle her face in disgust and drag her girlfriend away, Keith had brooded in the corner until Krolia came with Shiro at lunch. Noticing how Keith was, Lance had whisper begged Shiro to drag Keith off for a brotherly chat. Keith refused to go, his husband climbing back into bed next to him as if he was having a sit-in protest. Shiro had whispered that he’d check in with Keith later that night, to which Lance had asked him to take him back to his room for some rest. After Shiro had left Veronica had visited, in time for the results and it’d all taken a sharp left hand turn into a pile of quiznakking quiznak. The allergy skin testing started. The results came back... and well, everything else happened.

Finally escaping, Lance was forced to allow himself to be wheeled back to Keith’s quarters. Keith felt he shouldn’t be walking, while Lance felt that he should keep his mouth shut lest he be returned to the same stupid hospital bed. Having slept in his own bed, Keith seemed refreshed. His skin and hair weren’t as oily as they had been, nor did apologise. There was a spring in his step that Lance was envious of, seeing all his body wanted was for him to go back to sleep. Having come for the walk, Kosmo was on his best behaviour, walking beside the wheelchair so Lance could keep one hand on his back to act as his grounding. The whole time Keith wheeled him, he focused on his breathing rather than the people they passed. His anxieties were trying to get the better of him, as he knew they all must think him a weak failure.

Reaching Keith’s quarters, Lance wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not to find no one waiting. He was finally free, but he had no one to celebrate his freedom with. He wanted to go for a job or even a run. Sparring practice sounded divine, yet his body was too exhausted to do much of anything. It was demanding he slept, despite the sedatives they’d given him so could sleep without tossing and turning. Wheeling him right over to the edge of the bed, Keith put the brakes on. Stubbornly wanting to do things himself, he climbed from the chair then flopped down on Keith’s bed, nuzzling into the blankets that smelt so much of his husband.

“Pidge and Hunk suggested a party, but Curtis overruled them. I know it’s not much, but I’m happy you’re back here”  
Jumping at Keith’s voice, Kosmo yipped as if he’d noticed the action. Teleporting onto the bed the space wolf curled up behind, resting his muzzle on Lance’s hip  
“Mmm. Me too. It’s fine, honestly. I’m so drowsy I think I’m about to fall back to sleep”  
“I have to go out for about a varga, will you be ok on your own?”  
Keith was going out? He was free and now his husband was running away? What was the point of having Keith there if all he was going to do was sleep? It was better Keith was keeping busy and not watching over him... He didn’t especially want to be alone, but having Keith do something that wasn’t related to him was super appealing  
“Babe, I’m fine. You take as long as you need”  
“I know you just got out...”  
“And you know how much I appreciate a good bed. Say “hi” to Mumma K for me. Tell her I want that thing too. She’ll know what it is”  
Keith gave a hum, then there was a long paused, followed by his husband clicking off the brakes on the wheelchair and the balloon bouquet being evicted to beside the bed  
“Ok. I’ll try and be back soon”  
“No n-ne-ed to rush. Love you”  
“You too”  
Without so much as a kiss or fussing of the blankets, Keith left him. Yawning again, as he’d done mid-reply, Lance wriggled back against Kosmo, trying not to let Keith leaving bother him. He wasn’t about to admit how touch starved he felt, nor how horny his body decided he needed to be. He needed something to work off this excess energy, but wasn’t sure where to even begin. 

After a good varga of trying to sleep, Lance gave up. His mind was too sleepy to comprehend words or full sentences, yet he did his best to message both Daehra and Marco and let them know that he and the twins were alright. Words were hard enough when he wasn’t sure what words to use in the first place. Comms and typing didn’t work well, not when he dropped his comms on his face mid-sentence. With his plan for a nap abandoned, he climbed out of bed carefully, Kosmo cautiously following as he shuffled to the bathroom to start running the bath. Jumping up over the side, Kosmo decided he wanted a bath on his own accord, tail wagging as his tongue lolled from his mouth. An exceptionally pleased look on his fur son's face as he stared at him. Without anything else to do, washing Kosmo seemed as good if a plan as any... until Kosmo decided he didn’t actually want a bath. Half soaped up, Kosmo made his escape. Teleporting out the bath, he shook himself off, proceeding to cover everything with water and wrecking the bathroom as he teleported away from Lance who first forced to gingerly find his feet, then hold onto the bathroom counter so he wouldn’t slip in the mess. Not liking being scolded and ordered back in the bath, his only companion gave a yip than deserted him. Unable to rush after him, he opened the door to Keith’s room to find Kosmo rolling about in the middle of the bed. Tired and feeling somewhat hormonal and abandoned, he was soon crying as yelled at Kosmo for making a mess. Not used to being yelled at, Kosmo teleported out the room, leaving Lance to deal with the mess his son had made of everything.

Unable to stop himself from “catastrophizing” the situation, he wasn’t able to laugh off what had happened like he would have been able to if Keith was there. If his husband had been there, Keith would chase after Kosmo while Lance laughed at the pair of them. Stripping the wet mess of blankets off, he found the sheet had escaped the drenching. Both their pillows were wet from where Kosmo had presumably wiped his nose against them, trying to get the bubbles out from where he’d attempted to eat them. Cold and wet, Lance curled up into himself on the stripped remains of the bed, determined not to call anyone for help. Keith would most likely scold him for trying to wash Kosmo without when, after promising to nap.

*  
Keith felt like an arsehole deserting Lance almost the tick he came out of the infirmary, but it was for his husband’s own good. Lance trusted Daehra with his health, and other than the times he’d been able to voice his own opinions, he’d been stuck taking Galra based medication that hadn’t included anything for his seizures. The two he’d had scared the quiznak out of him. His husband passing two doboshes on both instances. As much as he’d wanted to, and argued for, Keith wasn’t able to bring Daehra to Daibazaal, instead, he was overseeing two medical technicians and Daehra instructed them on how to prepare Lance’s morning shakes, as well as the preparation of an injection should Lance go into premature labour again. This was all supposed to have been done before Lance was released, only when Shiro noticed the time he shooed him out.

Returning to stand by his adopted brother, Shiro tilted his head slightly as he looked to him  
“I thought you were picking Lance up?”  
“He wanted to nap. He’s with Kosmo. Kosmo’s not going to let anything happen to him”  
“You left him there alone?”  
“Right now, this more important. He can’t keep having seizures that severe”  
“He handled his seizures well before. What changed?”  
“They’ve been worse since he got clean... I think they’ve even gotten worse since he fell pregnant, then again, it might be stress too. Before this... the only time I’d seen him seize before was due to too many drugs in his system. He can’t take pills, it makes him gag. Injections he’s not too fond of either”  
“I’d say that would be for the best. Have you thought about the baby shower?”

Keith didn’t want a baby shower. He didn’t want to have one. Not on Daibazaal. Not on the Atlas. He didn’t want to force the whole thing on Lance. Sure, he wanted to show Lance how loved and supported he was, but Lance didn’t love parties anymore. He was no longer “Lancey-Lance” or “Loverboy Lance”. He was Lance who would rather be working or running a mission than socialising. Besides, all he’d done was come inside his husband, Lance was doing all the hard work of carrying their twins. What would he be doing at the party other than being reminded that he was a “horn dog”? Maybe should he pop a banner up saying “we forgot the contraceptives because we left it to each other, and now we’re having twins, only we don’t know how we’re actually going to deliver them, or if Lance can carry to full term”? It seemed a bit long for a banner. Lance would probably be pissed at him if he did.

“I don’t think Lance would want a baby shower”  
Shiro frowned deeply  
“Are you sure? With everything happening, I think it’d be a nice gesture”  
“I’m not even sure he’s coping with being pregnant, let alone up for making a fuss over it”  
“Then this could be what he needs. To see that no one thinks and less of him”  
“Other than Hunk...”  
Things with Hunk were so awkward that Keith wanted to grab both he and his husband and smack their heads together  
“This shower may be for Lance, but I’m thinking of Hunk too. You haven’t been on the Atlas, he’s been baking”  
Crossing his arms and squaring his shoulders, Keith tried to ignore the pull of sympathy tugging on his heart  
“Hunk’s always baking”  
“He’s been baking enough for there to be leftovers, despite the size of the crew. The tick he heard about Lance’s allergies, he’s started baking a whole new range of allergy-friendly things, then works himself up thinking Lance will reject him if he tried to talk to him. He doesn’t understand how they drifted so far apart, and he also misses him”  
“Then he shouldn’t have thrown his friendship with him away. You know how hard it’s been to get Lance to let you all back in”  
“He seems alright with Pidge”  
A dry huff of laughter escaped Keith’s lips  
“Then you don’t know him very well. He’s trying to do the right thing by everyone but himself. He gets paranoid when he’s talking to her, thinks he’s going to say the wrong thing or that Pidge is only looking for information over how he managed to fall pregnant. He’s only here because of me, but he’s made it abundantly clear that if I fuck up again, he’s gone”  
“I doubt he’d actually leave. He adores you”  
“And what have I done for him? I gave him a black eye. Made him feel like a slut over being raped and accused him of cheating on me with you. I don’t know why, but when we’re with everyone, it all seems to fall apart. I’m exhausted. He’s exhausted. He’s only doing this tour for me. He’s doing all of this for me”  
“Then you should let us do this for him. I know Coran would love to be there. He’s been calling for daily updates since the attack. He wanted to come but you were having enough trouble with your Galra side”  
“It’s not like I wanted to be like that. I couldn’t calm down with him hurt. I’m sick to death of seeing him hurt. I’m sick to death of him holding his tongue and letting himself be hurt further. I don’t think a baby shower is a good idea. He wouldn’t want the fuss”  
“He might not want it, but I think he’d cherish the memories when he’s not feeling so depressed. He wants nothing more than to want this. He wants his twins. He wants to know that it’s ok for him to want this and that there’s nothing wrong with him for wanting it. I saw him on Erathus. I saw the way his hand went to his stomach each time he saw a child or something in a passing store that he thought would be perfect for your children. He’s not comfortable in his skin, and he won’t be until he accepts that we all still care about him”

Keith was struck dumb. Lance was around 16 movements... or weeks... he’d have to do the math again after their stay at the outpost. His husband wasn’t comfortable. He knew that. He knew that his changing body left Lance frustrated and confused. His husband always wanted a family and now his anxieties were hampering his happiness. These were their twins. With their tiny hands and noses... the way they seemed to be sucking on their thumbs in the scan... God. He’d pay good GAC to see Lance happy over them again.

“I want him to be happy”  
“I know you do”  
“If I say yes, can we give it a few quintants? He’s still shaken by the attack”  
“We have about a movement before we’ll make another formal announcement over the tour. Then it should start within a couple of quintants. Is there anything, in particular, you guys want or need?”  
Keith closed his eyes, racking his brain before opening his eyes at the memory  
“A chest of drawers. For the outpost. We’ve got blankets, clothes and soft toys, but the wardrobe wasn’t quite right”  
“I think I can manage that. Have you got a change mat?”  
“I don’t think so?”  
Keith’s tone was one of questioning confusion. He’d neglected the baby book with everything that had happened. He didn’t understand why people needed change tables and all the fancy things if it was literally a place for changing poopy nappies  
“I’ll talk to Curtis, and to Hunk. Shay’s worried over both of them. She doesn’t want Lance to feel awkward over helping her with Earth wedding things”  
For all his awkwardness with words, Keith was certain that all of this could have been sorted sooner if Hunk or Shay had come to them to talk about things. Lance wouldn’t be miserable and Hunk wouldn’t be baking Shiro out of the Atlas  
“I’m sure he’d be happy to have something to do. He can’t sit still. It’ll distract him from the tour”  
“Plus, he’ll be ready for when Curtis asks him to be part of his wedding party”

Taking half a step back, Keith gaped at his adoptive brother. Laughing at his reaction, Shiro clamped his robotic hand down on Keith’s left shoulder  
“I haven’t asked him yet. We have talked about it though. Two more years, then retirement. Two years is more realistic than hoping to retire by this time next year, plus, it’ll give us time to make sure Veronica is adequately trained to accept the position”  
Recovering, Keith nodded. Everyone was growing and moving on. The ugly feeling of abandonment reared its unwanted head. There was a time when everyone moved on, their relationship wasn’t through blood... But if anyone deserved the “happily ever after” it was Shiro... Veronica stepping up as commander barely registered  
“That’s great, man”  
Shiro let his shock slide, knowing him his brother already knew where his mind had gone  
“Maybe it’ll help if you two marry again, and... you know have an actual ceremony with your friends. So we can watch, and laugh...”  
“We might not have known we were married, but I wouldn’t change that night”  
Lance was so happy. The wine had been awful, and Annla had tricked them both, but Lance had been so happy with their union  
“Think about the rest of us. You would have been a nervous wreck if you’d known what was going on”  
“I’m not sure I know what’s going on, even now”  
“You should have more faith”

“Keith? Are you paying attention? Of course, you’re not. I am trying to talk to you”

On the screen at the end of the lab, Daehra was glaring at both he and Shiro. Daehra’s “Mum” look was enough to make him shift his weight in guilt. He’d insisted on overseeing Lance’s medication being created, yet let himself be distracted by his brother. He should have just had Shiro take the Atlas out to the outpost and picked up personally. It’d all have been faster and simpler than this  
“Sorry, Daehra”  
“As you should be. I have been trying to tell you Lance just sent me a message. I’m afraid it doesn’t make much sense”  
Keith cleared his throat  
“He was pretty tired. He was going for a nap”  
Glancing down, Daehra’s lips moved as she silently reread the message  
“That makes sense now. Please tell him to sleep, then to reread his message. I’m not completely sure, but I do believe that “Keith estupido” translates to stupid Keith. I really do wish he’d teach me at least a little Spanish. His full message reads “Keith, ese estúpido esposo mío no está aquí, estoy tan cansado. Te llamaré después de haber tomado una siesta”. I’m sure he’s going to have a laugh at that one... whatever that means”  
Daehra butchered the Spanish so spectacularly that Keith couldn’t find it in him to be mad. He might not be all that great at Spanish, yet he knew enough to know “siesta” was a “sleep”? or a “nap”?  
“He said he’s tired and going to take a nap before he calls you. And that Keith isn’t with him”  
Daehra huffed out a sigh at Shiro. Keith felt annoyed at his own shortcomings with the language of his family  
“He should have said that then. Marco is busy with Lucteal. They’ve gone to visit with Yule... You’re both terrible at keeping us in the loop. Marco found out that Lance had been attacked while watching the live stream. Miriam’s call was another three vargas later, and that was because Krolia had called her. Wherever he is, he’s always finding trouble”  
“I’m sorry, Dae. Things here have been hectic. You’re right though. I promise to have Lance call you”  
“Good. Three movements with very little news over both of you is not good for one's nerves. Marco has the same flare for dramatics as his brother”  
“I don’t know about that...”  
“Then try living with him. Now, the compound is nearly complete. Make sure he resumes the same daily routine as before. The injection requires another varga until it’s completion. There is enough for three doses, all to be injected preferably into his thigh. I am entrusting the injections to you, and I want a copy of his latest medical reports for my files”  
“I’ll ask Krolia how to go about sending them through. If Marco’s being too annoying, we can always transfer him out here with us”  
Despite Acxa basically being his sister, Keith would trade Marco for Veronica happily. Veronica’s love caused continual head butting, whereas once Marco had cooled his heels, he and Lance had gone back to being tight  
“He has his moments. He’s not as natural around here as Lance was, nor is he that adept working trade, yet things are running smoothly... mostly. We’ve taken on the two staff Lance authorised for me, there is a more detailed report on his comms, in accompaniment with his movement report. I know there’s no use, but please tell him not to worry. The outpost is still functioning, which is the main thing”  
“Good. I guess we’ll see you... maybe during the tour? Of after...”  
“We’re all looking forward to seeing you and him on screen. You never look comfortable in front of the camera. It is quite entertaining”  
“Remind me again, why exactly have I missed you?”  
Daehra shrugged her shoulders  
“It’s not my fault you left with Lance. Please make sure he rests before you call”  
Doing his best impression of Lance, Keith put his hands on hips to over-exaggerate the sass in his simple reply  
“Yes, Dae. I wouldn’t dream of letting my husband rest. I’m so relieved you gave me this vital suggestion”  
Nudging him, Shiro shot him a scowl  
“Ignore him, Daehra. He’s been in a mood since the attack. Thank you for this, we’re all worried over Lance’s seizures. I’m sure you must have work to do, so we’ll let you get back to it. Thanks again, right, Keith?”  
Daehra looked amused. They’d moved past politeness into a comfortable banter like relationship  
“Yeah. Right. Thanks, Dae. I’ll talk to you later”  
“Bye, Keith. Thank you, Shiro. I’m happy our idiots have someone with a brain cell looking after them”

Daehra cut the call as Shiro turned to him  
“Would it hurt you to be polite to your friends?”  
“You have no idea what you’ve just done. She’s never going to let me live this down”  
“What did I do? Unlike you, I was polite”  
Keith sighed  
“That’s just it. Daehra and I are past the polite stage. She’s nearly as sassy as Lance. Did you see how happy she was that you were scolding me? She’s a monster”  
Shiro rolled his eyes at him  
“I’m sure you’re imagining all of this. She’s a perfectly nice young lady”  
“Riiight. This coming from “Silver Fox”. Of course, you can do no wrong. She doesn’t know you like I do”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“You’re too polite for my good. I’m going to stay, but you can go ahead if you want. I doubt Lance will take anything that I took my eyes off”  
“Do you mind if stop in to check on Lance. If he’s sleeping I’ll leave him sleeping”  
It’d kind of been a douche move to leave Lance the moment he got out of the infirmary... He’d wanted a nap, and Keith didn’t want to interfere with his husband resting. Unconsciously his top lip curled up slightly so he was baring his teeth at his brother  
“No waking him up if he’s sleeping and no complaining if Kosmo bites you”  
Shiro held his hands up in surrender  
“I’m simply going to make sure he’s not upset that you’re not there. I’m not going to bring the baby shower up... or the attack”  
“Make sure you don’t. He hasn’t taken his medication. I want him resting as much as possible before the tour begins. The last thing we need is him having a public seizure. He’d feel too guilty to carry on in public if he thought he’d insulted our hosts”  
“I really hope you didn’t say it to him like that. You know he can’t control his seizures”  
“Like what? You know he anxious he gets over things”  
“Saying it like that sounds pretty accusatory. Think about it, it’ll come to you. I’m going to head off now. I’ll see you later”

Keith was stuck brooding on his wording. Lance would be crippled emotionally if he thought he’d insulted the people they were visiting or scared them with a seizure... What was wrong with his wording? He was worried for his husband, so he didn’t want him having a seizure and being upset... So why had Shiro told him to think about his words? He simply didn’t understand how it could be accusatory. He wasn’t accusing Lance of intentionally having a seizure... Deciding he was getting nowhere, Keith kept himself in a self hug as he watched Lance’s injections being synthesised.

*  
Cold and annoyed, Lance wasn’t impressed with his fur son at all. After huffing off, the Cuban had thought he wouldn’t be seeing the cause of his current troubles so soon. Either sulky because he’d been sent back to the human who’d growled at him, or miserable because his fur was soapy, Keith’s wolf had teleported back half a varga or so after he’d given up on life and proceeded to sulk on the stripped bed. With Kosmo’s cold body against his, Lance was left shivering, not game to venture back into the wet bathroom, nor was interested in playing games with Kosmo over bath time. Disturbed by a soft knock on his door, Kosmo’s lazy arse didn’t move as Lance failed to reply. If it wasn’t Keith, he wasn’t sure he wanted to see them, or for anyone to see how badly he’d messed up immediately upon release. With a soft “swoosh” the bedroom door opened, with the figure at the doorway clearing their throat  
“Lance? Are you awake? Something seems to have happened to your room”

Shiro’s voice was soft and level, Lance hating how happy it made him to have someone come check on him, despite the fact it wasn’t Keith. Up until the moment had spoken he’d wanted to be alone in his misery, now he couldn’t be more grateful to Shiro for being there. Slowly pushing himself up, Lance blinked his eyes clear before sighing softly to himself. His clothes were damp, smelling like wet dog... said wet “dog” wore an expression of shame, though Lance wasn’t ready to forgive him quite so readily  
“Hey, Shiro... yeah, I’m awake. Sorry the room’s a mess... things... things went to quiznak”  
Moving his hands to his stomach, Lance drew his legs up to cross them. Shiro moving across the room to sit on the edge of the bed, taking the unsaid invitation in his stride  
“Want to tell me what happened?”  
“Kosmo hijacked my bath, then decided halfway through he didn’t want a bath”  
Receiving no love from Lance, Kosmo dragged himself up with exaggerated patheticness as he settled with his head next to Shiro’s leg  
“Ah. That explains a few things. Keith said you were going to nap?”  
“One of the joys of pregnancy I’ve learned that sometimes, no matter how quiznakking tired you are, sleep refuses to come. Plus... I’ve already messed everything up”  
With a soft smile, Shiro shook his head  
“Not everything. I’ve got some time if you want some help? Maybe we can get everything sorted before Keith comes back? I can hold him while you wash him”  
For an instant, Lance’s mind went to “Shiro holding Keith while Lance bathed him like a dog” before his thoughts kindly reminded him that Shiro meant Kosmo  
“The bathroom’s too wet... Keith would kill me if I ended up back in the infirmary so soon”  
With a laugh, Shiro held an arm out. Lance completely uncoordinated as he climbed from his spot to hug his brother-in-law. It wasn’t as good as a Keith hug, but fuck if he didn’t need a hug. Hiding his face against Shiro’s shoulder, he let out a shaky breath  
“Thank you... Keith left so soon... and I think he’s mad at me”  
“Nah. He’s not mad at you. He was in the middle of something and thought you’d be napping while he took care of it. Nothing bad. When he’s done he’s coming straight back”  
“Are you sure?”  
“I promise you he’s not mad. I’ll take Kosmo for his bath. Are you up for helping?”  
“I don’t want him to see how I fucked up so fast”  
“You didn’t “fuck up”. Kosmo’s the one who’s in trouble here. Bathing him may not have been the best idea, but you did say he stole your bath. How about I get you fresh clothes to begin with? I’ll wash him while you get changed then we’ll sort your bed out together. Keith’s not going to be back for another varga. That’s plenty of time to get things straightened out”  
A varga seemed like a lifetime. He didn’t trust his body not to decide to betray him. All the wanted now was to cuddle with his husband. He’d wanted to clean, but it’d been too much effort alone, leaving him mentally dreading a confrontation or scolding when he wanted Keith so badly. Hugging Shiro had killed his libido the moment his arms had wrapped around the older man. His instincts said Shiro wasn’t “safe”, not like Keith, though it wasn’t like he’d been planning on sleeping with Shiro as it was  
“Thank you. I didn’t mean to cause all this chaos”  
“Lance, trust me if you’d seen the state of mine and Curtis’s room, you’d know this is nothing. I’ve left it worse... and learned my lesson for it... though it might have taken a while”  
Lance wrinkled his face, pushing Shiro away as he did  
“I don’t need to know about your kinks. Gross. You’re my Space Dad”  
“There was nothing kinky about waking to find each of my dirty socks collected and left by my face. The point I was trying to make is that Keith is less scary than Curtis over mess”  
“Curtis is domesticated. He’s too good for the three of us”  
“That he is. I’m happy you like him so much”  
“He’s kind of easy. I mean... he knew and he accepted things. He didn’t pry or try to pry... and when I talked, he actually listened. It meant a lot to me”  
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you have a crush”  
Lance rolled his eyes  
“Nope. Moment over. He’s all yours. I leave the demon mutt to you. I’ve got clothes in the bedside drawers here... I think. I’ve at least got underwear in there and that’s a start”  
Reaching out, Shiro ruffled his hair  
“That it is. Call me if you need help? I really don’t...”  
Brushing Shiro off, he reminded himself that he had to do better than he had been. He was being too clingy, needing too much attention. Shiro would be in the next room and he wasn’t so much of an invalid that he needed everything done for him  
“I’ll manage. I’d rather Kosmo be washed off properly. I don’t want him making more of a mess with his sulking back to our bed”  
Shiro flexed his robotic arm  
“I’ve got this”

Shiro did not “have this”. Kosmo simply teleported around the bathroom with Shiro’s robotic hand still firmly holding onto Kosmo collar. Their precious varga passed with Shiro attempting to corral Kosmo, while Lance was sitting on the toilet lid enjoying the show. He didn’t enjoy Kosmo further messing up the bathroom, but he did enjoy knowing he wasn’t the only one Kosmo was misbehaving for. Lance harboured no doubts that if Shiro had wanted, he easily could have brought Kosmo back under control. Yet, Shiro let the silly scene play out, Kosmo thinking it all a game teleported to his side then teleported them both into the bath where Shiro promptly lost his footing causing him to fall into the bubbles. Coming up, he looked unimpressed, leading to Lance laughing so hard he was wheezing. Licking at his face, Kosmo settled himself down in Shiro’s lap triumphantly  
“Lance, this isn’t funny. He’s a menace”  
With his face burning hot, Lance could only shake his head. A tick or two passing before Shiro started laughing too. The pair of them laughing like idiots over the shenanigans that’d crippled Lance with anxiety earlier. Not that he’d gone swimming with Kosmo, nor had his robotic arm gone for a ride on Kosmo’s collar.

Laughing until his stomach hurt and he’d slightly wet himself, Lance couldn’t glance Shiro’s way as each time he did fresh laughter bubbled up. That was how Keith found them. Opening the bathroom door, Keith stepped into chaos. In the bath Shiro was recovering better than him, deciding that if he was going to be soaked, he might as well be soaked and washing Kosmo as he did. Raising an eyebrow, his husband crossed his arms  
“What the quiznak is going on here?”  
Lance sucked in his bottom lip, his body shaking slightly from the repressed laughter  
“Hey, Keith. The thing is... we were going to bath Kosmo... but I think I’m the one who ended up having the bath instead”  
A squeak escaped, Keith’s eyes flashing from Shiro to him  
“Babe? I thought you wanted to take a nap. Why’s the bed wet and why are you sitting on the toilet?”  
“I’m... Kosmo decided that he wanted a bath and didn’t at the same time. You should have seen it... he had Shiro’s arm...”  
Doubling over in laughter, his stomach cramped painfully, he wanted to stop laughing but couldn’t get the image of Shiro’s arm out of his head  
“What he means is, Kosmo attempted to steal my arm mid bath. He messed up the bed trying to escape, so we got him back into the bathroom then this happened”  
Keith sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes and shook his head for a tick, before fixing his gaze almost coldly on his brother  
“I thought I told you to let him sleep. Not get him all worked up”  
A chill ran down Lance’s spine as his laughter came to an abrupt halt. Why was Keith so mad when the situation was clearly hilarious  
“Lance was awake when I got here. He couldn’t sleep, and Kosmo hijacked the bath he was going to have. That’s why we tried to give him a bath”  
“Babe, you know you need to be resting. I trusted that you wanted to nap”  
“I did, but I had too much energy. Shiro didn’t do anything wrong. He was trying to get the shampoo out of Kosmo‘s fur when Kosmo turned it into a game. I’ve been sitting over here”  
“And what if you’d had a seizure while they were messing about?”  
Lance’s heart gave an uncomfortable beat. He hadn’t thought about having a seizure while sitting. He’d thought himself kind of safe because he was simply watching and not overexerting himself. Keith should know better than to think he was looking to hurt himself or the twins. He was doing his best and trying his hardest to ignore all his past impulses, not wanting to cause his husband any unnecessary pain or worry  
“Kosmo’s good at warning me, and I’m already sitting. The real question is why are you so mad? No one got hurt... the bed and the bathroom got a little wet, and Shiro was arm-napped, but I wasn’t hurt”  
“But you could have been. I made sure everything was perfect for you, and now I come back to our room destroyed and you... you don’t laugh like that when I’m around. I had this planned in my head and this wasn’t the plan... you... I spent the morning synthesising your medication with Daehra on call... and I come back to you having fun with my brother”

Lance’s hurt swayed to anger, then to bitterly hurt anger with tears. How many times did he have to tell Keith nothing was going on?  
“Newsflash, you dumped me here and left. You didn’t explain where you were going, only that you had to go out again. I wanted to come back here and cuddle my husband who started neglecting himself because he was too caught up in looking after me. And I wanted to hold you and make sure you were ok. That you were feeling better and make sure you understood I only did it because I was worried about your stupid mulleted arse. I’m sorry I’m such a goddamn burden to you and I’m sorry that I was happy when Shiro came to see me because I was fucking lonely. I’m sorry I can’t even wash your wolf properly. That I let him teleport out to your bed where he rolled around. I’m sorry I didn’t clean up your precious bathroom because I didn’t want to fucking slip and cost you your kids. I’m sorry that I can’t do anything fucking right... all I want is to be good for you, but I’m fucking useless”  
Clutching his stomach, Lance was well aware that he was ugly crying over his baby bump. Why was he in trouble? If Keith had been here for all the shenanigans Kosmo had put Shiro through, he would have been laughing just as hard as that  
“Babe... that not what I was saying. I was worried about you. You haven’t had your medication in days...”  
“So because I’m fucked up you don’t want to k-know m-me if I’m not drugged?”  
“I’m not saying that. Please, you need to calm down...”  
“Fuck you! Fuck you and your dick! You knocked me up! I’m doing everything I can for your kids... maybe they should have just killed the three of us...”  
His words were a bitter poison that choked his throat and stung at his tongue. He didn’t want to be saying these things. Keith swayed on the spot, a hand going to the door frame as Shiro stood up in the bath tub  
“Don’t... you don’t... you don’t mean that. You don’t mean that, Lance. We’re supposed to be starting a family”  
“Some fucking family when your husband’s a whore! Go fuck Krystaal! He’s in love with you and you’ve obviously got a crush on him! Go be happy with him! He doesn’t burden you like I do!”  
“I don’t have a crush on Krystaal! This is why I didn’t tell you he was a guy! Because I knew you’d be like this!”  
“What? Jealous that he’s everything I’m not!?”  
“No, because you get it in your head that you’re worthless then tell me to go to him! What am I supposed to do, Lance? All I want is you to be happy!”  
Lance let out a raspy sob, his hands moving from his stomach to wipe at his face  
“That’s what I want too. I’m sick of us fighting! I’m sick of it! I want my husband back! The man who knew I trusted him, and that he was the only person I want to be with! I just want my husband back... I want to be happy with you again... not ruining your life all the time...”

Taking the few steps across the space, Keith went to take his hand, Lance snatching it back before he could  
“Babe... I don’t want to fight either. I’m worried about you”  
Dios. Why did he have to worry? Everything had been fine until he’d left him. He’d been bad. He didn’t deserve Keith’s love  
“Don’t touch me. I don’t want you to touch me”  
If Keith touched him, he’d cave. He’d throw himself into the embrace and cry it all out on Keith’s shoulder  
“I love you. I’m sorry. I’m scared you’re going to have another seizure and you’re going to end up hurt”  
“It was fine until you came back. I’m sorry I couldn’t fall asleep. I’ll... I’ll organise something. Somewhere to stay until the tour... I was feeling so lonely without you, but now it hurts so bad I don’t know if I can look at you”  
“I’m sorry...”  
“You don’t have to apologise to something like me. Shiro, can I stay on the Atlas... actually, never mind. I’ll ask Krolia to let me go to Altea. I’m sorry...”

With great pain, Lance rose to his feet, ignoring avoiding Keith as he tried to help. They’d been so on top of each other since they’d gotten back together that they’d been smothering each other without knowing. Or at least Lance knew he was smothering Keith by needing his constant love and support. All he’d done was continually stuff up. 

“Babe... please. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m the one who did. I didn’t listen about the photos. I didn’t listen about the photos with Klearo. I told you I trust your gut then chose the easy way out because I was scared of the truth. I’m fucking terrified of you leaving me. I get so scared that I get angry... and jealous... because... because you’re my husband. You’re my husband and I can’t make everything better for you. I hate it. I hate you not being you. Everyone fucking shattered you, and you still put us all first. You... you were my friend... and I didn’t even care about your feelings when I came back. I noticed things were different and I ran from it because I didn’t know what to say, because I loved you... and I was so cruel to you. You’ve been working so hard and I’ve done nothing. I’m not a better leader. I’m not a good husband. I still hate public and formal events and I’m happy to dump the royal duties on my unborn sibling. I don’t know how to be... me. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to spend every morning waking up with you. I want to hold you. I want to see new things out there in space with you. I want to see the way your face lights up... I... I love you... I’ve loved you for so long...”  
“The person you fell in love with no longer exists. Everything that happened to me, I deserved... everyone simply noticed how unworthy I was before you. Now you’re seeing it, but you don’t know how to leave...”  
There was an air of indifference in Lance’s tone. His heart was breaking at his husband’s words. He knew Keith had his issues. He knew Keith was terrified but this clinging thing... it... it was held together with duct tape and paper clips. Keith was working his hardest, but it seemed lately all it took was a few misspoken words and the same fight would flare into life. The Atlas would have been preferable to Daibazaal purely because it would have been easier to lift a ship under Shiro’s nose rather than the whole Galra empire. Krolia understood what Keith was going through... his stepmother would stress and want them to talk it out. He’d used all his spare time while recovering sleeping, rewatching the attack, and worrying over Keith’s state of mind, and the way he’d given up and neglected himself. That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted Keith to be able to do his own thing. To chase after his dreams  
“... I’m going to find Mumma K. Shiro, can you please not tell Veronica about any of this. Mami has enough to worry about. And take care of Keith. He really needs a friend”  
Shuffling out the bathroom, Lance left everything where it was. He vaguely remembered how to get to Krolia’s quarters, and if he got lost, he was sure to find someone who could direct him to her. Besides, he may get lucky and be assassinated before he could ruin things for Keith further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry I promise that Lance running away won’t last very long...


	39. Chapter 39

Called to his mother’s quarters, Keith glared at all those he passed as they stared at his dishevelled state. His eyes were red from crying. He was so tired of fighting with his husband. The words he tried to say always came out wrong, or were twisted by jealousy. Hearing Lance laugh like that... He wanted to be the one to make him that happy. He’d spent the morning choosing what blankets to have on their bed, making sure it was properly made, comfortable and safe for his husband... then Lance had tried to bath Kosmo. He trusted his husband, but why couldn’t he see how dangerous it could have been. Had Lance been alone and slipped or had a seizure... anything could have happened. All he wanted was Lance by his side, where he couldn’t vanish or leave him behind. His fears of being abandoned by his lover were twisting him into something he didn’t want to be. Lance wanted his husband back... and Keith wanted... He wanted to stop fighting. He wanted to stop these possessive “instincts” that kept fucking things up in his head, from preventing him fucking things up. Shiro hadn’t been impressed, though being Shiro, he could see both sides of the argument. Both of them wanted Lance in a safe environment, but their individual differences in the definition of that environment was like comparing apples and oranges. A safe environment to him was not Lance in a soaked bathroom, clutching his stomach. His husband may have been laughing, yet Keith could smell the pain Lance wasn’t showing. He didn’t want to be the kind of man who had to know every tick of his husbands day. He didn’t want to limit Lance’s actions... but he was so fucking scared. He didn’t know how to work this out. He didn’t have the right words... obviously. He wanted Lance, what he’d been through didn’t matter. Well, it did. It mattered when Lance was having a panic attack, or screaming his lungs out as he came out of a bad nightmare. It mattered when the past robbed Lance of his future. But at the same time, it didn’t matter. Yes, Lance has changed, but so had he. They weren’t the same people they’d been when they were Paladins. He accepted the broken parts, even if he hated them, and didn’t blame him for using whatever coping mechanisms he’d needed just to get through the day.

Yet everything he said came across as an insult to Lance. 

Daehra assisting in synthesising Lance’s medication was for Lance’s sake. His medication was on file, and a sample had been taken before it’d been destroyed. The lab technicians could have easily synthesised another dose. Yet he knew Lance wouldn’t trust that. He’d planned for it to be done before collecting his husband, but time had run over. It felt as if everything he tried to do to make Lance happier was cursed to backfire. Somehow the flywheel of his self-control had slipped, leaving him spiralling into this ball of petty rage.

Reaching his mother’s quarters, his eyes grew damp as his hand shook. His fist paused mid-air as he was torn between knocking, or punching the wall beside the door until he’d broken it. His mother obviously knew he was coming, as she’d messaged him that Lance had safety reached her. The door sliding open to reveal his mother, her angered expression turned to open arms as he found himself gathered into her hold, his bottom lip quivering as he clutched at her shirt  
“M-mum... I fucked up again... I don’t think... I’m not... I’m not ok”  
Hushing him softly, his mother then nodded  
“He’s here and he’s sleeping. I heard you fought, but he was more worried about you than himself. I think we need to have a talk”  
Nodding, Keith didn’t move to move, not a few long moments before pulling back and sniffling  
“Please... can I see him? See that he’s here?”  
“Here, come with me”

Krolia briefly showed him Lance’s sleeping form. His husband sleeping on the chaise in her “sitting” room, a thick blanket covering his sleeping form. Leading him back through her quarters, his nose was assaulted by Kolivan’s scent as they sat on her bed. Keith wiping his face as they sat opposite each other with their legs crossed. His mother holding a small yellow package she must have picked up as they’d walked. His mind had been on Lance, not caring where they ended up for this talk. Sniffling again, he wiped his nose on his sleeve  
“I’m sorry...”  
“I know you are. Lance knows you are too. He wanted to leave at first, but almost as soon as he’d said that, he was saying he couldn’t leave you over such a stupid fight”  
“I keep fucking up and I don’t know how to stop”  
Krolia snorted lightly, Keith supposing he deserved it  
“Keith, we all make mistakes. Lance has been telling me that you’re struggling. He didn’t want to break your confidence in him, only that he was worried that you’ve been struggling with your feelings. He explained a little about these instincts you’re both feeling, on top of everything else. He’s worried you’re not taking care of yourself or putting yourself first when you need to”  
“He’s my priority”  
Keith didn’t even need to think about the automatic answer, his mother sighing at him  
“He can be your priority, but you can’t live his life. He knows you want to protect him, then gets scared when you blow up at him. Since he’s been here, it’s been full-on for both of you, and he worries you’re not doing enough of the things you like. He feels like he’s taking up all your time and you’re having no time for anything else”  
“Of course I haven’t been doing anything else. He got attacked right away”  
“But you stopped eating when he was in the infirmary. You didn’t leave his side, not even to shower”  
“That’s because...”  
“Because of what? No matter what you tell me, I love you. I want to understand”  
Keith clenched his fists, staring down at his legs  
“I’m scared if I take my eyes off him... that he’s going to disappear and never come back. Dad didn’t come back... and you... you weren’t there either... I don’t want to be left behind again. I don’t want to fight with him... but I don’t want to lose him because I wasn’t there when he needed me. He could have been hurt today. He could have slipped. He could have had a seizure. I spent... I made sure everything would be how he’d like it. I wanted it to be perfect... but then I come back and he’s laughing with Shiro. I can’t remember when I made him laugh like that. You should have seen him. The wrinkles in the corner of his eyes as laughed so hard his face was red. We keep fighting. I keep saying the wrong thing... but how do I keep him safe? Everyone is moving on... so why am I still stuck? We spent phoebs away from each other, so why can’t we make it work when we’re back together? I don’t know what to do. I don’t own him. He’s not my possession, so why do I get so mad when anyone gets near him? I don’t want him to leave me... I don’t want him to go away. He said... he said he would if I fucked up again, but half the time I don’t know how I did”

Keith’s words hung between them, Krolia taking a moment before holding the package she’d grabbed out to him  
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I was there when your father died. Lance knows being part of a family is hard for you. He asked me for a favour, scared of upsetting me as he did. These are my memories. You saw them on the space whale, but you barely have anything to remember him by. Leaving you two was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I left to keep you safe... and I left because I believed that one day we’d find each other again. Seeing his death. Feeling your pain. It broke part of me. I can’t forgive myself for the pain you went through, but I can tell you all couples fight. I know you’re scared. I know you don’t know how to be a parent, but no parent ever really does. All we can do is try our best... He loved you. The day you were born... he was so worried, but the moment he held you... He loved you, and he lives on in you. Lance wants your children to know him. I want you to know him, and I’m sure in his last words and thoughts, he was sorry to be leaving you. I might not know your fears and pain, but I’m your mother. I love you. I am proud of you. You’ve grown into a courageous young man, who loves so deeply that you can’t even think straight. Neither of you wants to keep fighting. Lance doesn’t want to leave. All he wants is for you to live your life and put yourself first from time to time. He wants you to trust that he doesn’t want to go back to how things were. He wants a relationship where you both trust each other, and in each other. Loving someone doesn’t mean binding them to you. It means loving them through all the ups and downs as you work out life together. If you’re struggling, you can come to me. If you want to go to Altea and see your councillor, I’m happy to have Lance’s help around here. He’s had his medical issues for a while, and he’s trying to adjust to them. He was rambling, but he did clearly say that he left the bathroom when the floor was wet because he didn’t want to chance things. He’s trying to make the right choices, but he’s also under a lot of pressure. His hormones are telling him one thing, his body another, and his lover lives in constant fear... but above all, he feels lonely when you don’t tell him how you feel. If I could give you both leave I would, but unfortunately, this tour must happen”  
“He doesn’t want to go... he’s only going for us”  
“Because he loves you. He’s strong. I seem to remember his birthday is coming up?”  
Keith nodded, taking the yellow package from his mother  
“3 movements”  
“Why don’t you take him out? I’m not sure if it’s a surprise or not, but he’s booked a scan on Altea on the day. Why not make a whole day of it”  
“Shiro wants to throw a baby shower. He wants to get Hunk and Lance talking again. Lance said he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday, but we agreed on going to dinner”

Krolia’s eyes lit up at “baby shower”, his mother’s scheming mind already racing with the idea, skipping the “dinner” part of the conversation  
“A baby shower... He’d like that”  
Frowning at his mother, that was the second time he’d been told that  
“I don’t think he wants the fuss”  
“It’s not “fuss”, it’s his friends and family being there with him. I think it’s a great idea. It doesn’t have to be a surprise if his nerves can’t take it. But having the acceptance of everyone is something he needs. I’m going to have to call Shiro”  
“He’s not comfortable with the pregnancy”  
“He’s young and he’s wondering if he’s done the right thing. We talked a fair bit about it before the Gala. He didn’t know what was normal and not. It’s one thing to be on the supporting side of the pregnancy and another to be the one carrying. Do you two need anything? He mentioned you’d been shopping”  
When things had been better. Easier. Uncomplicated by his jealousy and Lance was freed of the burden of being anyone but himself  
“Shiro asked me the same thing... maybe something for Lance instead of the twins? I wish I knew what happened to his wedding ring”  
“We’ve searched and haven’t been able to find it. I wouldn’t hold out on you if we had. I know how much it means to both of you. I love you both, don’t forget that. You don’t have to keep trying to do everything alone. The attack on Lance was an attack on all of us. More cameras have been installed across the palace, and we haven’t given up on finding who was behind it. Kolivan’s livid about it all. He must have watched and rewatched that video a thousand times by now. He might not say it, but you’ve become a son to him. Lance has impressed him, not only with his skills but with his sharp mind. He’s fond of both of you. Do you want to sit with him? I understand if you want to spend a few vargas catching up with your father. I’m working from here today, mostly because Lance is here, but because I want to be here for both of you, not locked away in the command room working on theories. If he wakes up while you’re gone, I can find something he can help me with”  
Keith’s fingers traced the back of the envelope. He didn’t have much in the way of photos of his father, yet he kind of felt he wanted Lance there when he opened it. He wanted Lance to see him... to cuddle into his side and kiss his temple the way he did when it was all too much  
“I want Lance to meet him”  
“Then open it when you’re with him. He won’t push”  
“I know he won’t. He knew it was hard enough for me to meet his family for Christmas, but he worked so hard at being accommodating... He gave me something I didn’t have and something I can’t even find the words for”  
“That’s because he loves you. Now give me a hug, then go see that husband of yours”  
Climbing to his knees, Keith wrapped his arms around his mother. He wasn’t sure he’d had some kind of therapy breakthrough, but he also couldn’t deny he didn’t feel better  
“I love you mum”  
“I love you too. Always, Keith. No matter what. I’ll help you both in any way I can”  
Keith nodded, he knew his mother loved him. He knew it, but he was still scared she’d disappear again. This fear was only getting worse  
“Then... can I ask a favour? Can you call Coran, and have him come out? Lance said he needed space and time, so I want someone there for him if he chooses more time alone”  
“Coran would love that”

*  
There wasn’t space for Keith to sit on the chaise without risking waking Lance. Sitting with his side against the padded side, he watched Lance as he slept. His hand sitting beside Lance’s without touching, where it’d lain for the last varga or so. Lance felt safe in confiding in Coran... so maybe Coran could help him too? Maybe Coran would be able to help them talk without him losing his head? After a hundred mental conversations of how this could play out, he froze when Lance’s long eyelashes flickered. A soft groan on his lips as his husband nuzzled into the arm bit of the chaise before freezing.

“Keith?”

“I’m not here to fight, and if you want me to leave you alone, I will. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I keep getting mad over the smallest and stupidest things... and I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing. But I don’t want to fight...”  
Hanging his head in shame, Lance wriggled across on the chaise, wrapping his arms around him. Keith felt as if he didn’t deserve the soft gesture  
“I don’t want to fight either. I don’t. I hate fighting with you”  
“Why do we keep fighting?”  
“I don’t know”  
“I hate it”  
Lance nuzzled into his hair  
“So do I. I don’t know what’s going on with us. You’re so mad and I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong... I want to be happy with you. How can I make you happy?”  
“I... I don’t think I’m coping. I get so jealous of everything... I don’t want you to leave me... but I keep... I keep using the wrong words”  
“I’m not... Keith, I’m not interested in anyone that isn’t you. I can’t be like... that, with anyone who isn’t you. I don’t know how to make you see that”  
“I know. But my head gets so busy. I keep getting... I keep feeling like if I let you out my sight you’ll be gone forever... I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you hurt because I wasn’t good enough. Not again”

Keith’s body shuddered as his tears returned  
“Babe. Hey. Hey... you’ve been arsehole... but you had a scare too. I know you did. You didn’t fail me that night. That was not your fault”  
“I knew you were in danger”  
“And I knew I was in danger”  
“I got so mad at you and all you did was wash Kosmo. Nothing happened but I couldn’t get the thought out my head. You could have slipped. You could have had a seizure. And... you were so happy without me there. If I’m making you sad, then you shouldn’t here. I shouldn't...”  
“Stop. Ok. Stop. We’re only going to end up fighting again and I can’t. I can’t keep fighting with you. Shiro was trying to cover for me. He was trying to help because I made the mess. I couldn’t sleep so I was going to take a bath. I was feeling pretty tired and horny... my body had all this energy that my mind didn’t. I was running the bath when Kosmo jumped in. It all went to quiznak. He decided halfway through he wasn’t having it and teleported around before teleporting out and messing up the bed. I knew you’d worry... but I was feeling so fucking lonely that I stripped the bed and tried going to sleep like that. Kosmo teleported back. I was cold and wet when Shiro came. He wasn’t you, but I was grateful not to be alone... You’ve... be putting up a wall between us. Cuddles without kisses. Barely touching me sometimes, like I’m infectious. Then growling and getting jealous. I don’t know how to feel. Shiro tried to get Kosmo washed off, while I changed. When I went to check on them, Kosmo was misbehaving. I know it’s bad but I felt like less of a fuck up as I watched. Then he tried to run off with Shiro’s arm. Then he teleported him into the bath and knocked him down. He was trying to cover because he knew I didn’t want you worrying. I didn’t want you to know how much of a fuck up I am... because... I don’t want to lose you”

The full story made much more sense. If he hadn’t been jealous of Lance’s laughter than maybe he could have taken a moment to find the humour in the situation  
“I wanted everything to be perfect when you came back. I had it all planned. I was talking to Daehra, while we watched the lab assistants make your medication so you wouldn’t have to worry about having a seizure with everything else going on. But then it wasn’t ready in time. I knew you wouldn’t take something you didn’t trust. So I was hurrying to get back. Shiro stayed. He watched it all. I don’t want you falling back into drugs... but I also don’t want something happening. Those seizures. Waiting for your body to stop spasming. I don’t want you to go through that. Especially not in front of people who might not understand. I know how upset it’d make you. I’m not trying to drug you. I... don’t want you thinking that. I’m in love with you. I want to work this out with you. I don’t want to keep being a jealous idiot”

“I don’t know how to stop that. I don’t know what I can say or do. You wanted me to try but when you do you get angry and I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell Shiro not to talk to me. I can’t turn them all away... because then they’ll ask you. I’m scared of all of this... I keep going because I love you.. but then we fight and I have to fight it. I want to shoot up or hurt myself... and the only thing that stops me is the idea of hurting you. I know how to be an uncle... I don’t know how to a baby. I don’t know how to have two. We can’t have babies and be fighting”  
“Lance, do you even want them?”  
Keith’s voice was low and rough, the question painful to ask  
“I want to. But then we fight and I hate myself all that much more. You like men... I’m not sure what I am. I don’t know if you want this body or are going through the motions. But we made them. We’ve heard their heartbeats. I’ve felt them move. I’m confused. I want to want this but then I seem like a freak. I want a future with you... I’m so scared of what I’m becoming. I’m some kind of monster. I can’t control my Altean magic. What if I zap you again? I could kill you... They’re our kids... I want to... I don’t want people treating me like a freak. I know it’s weird. I know it and people don’t need to tell me... still, I can... I can get through it if we... if we’re together... but we need to stop fighting. It hurts both of us and it hurts living and knowing it does”  
“You’re not a freak. You can’t help the Altean magic in your blood. You didn’t ask for it. You didn’t ask for anything that happened. Allura was stupid to leave you. If anything I’m the freak. I keep “Galraing” out over everything. I can’t relax, and I can’t stop worrying”  
“I know. That’s part of why I’m worried. It’s like there this switch in you that flips. I know you’re sorry. I know. I don’t know we get back to what we had, but I want to try”  
“Me too. I know I said I’d leave you alone as long as you wanted, but do you maybe want to come back to our room?”  
“Can we cuddle?”  
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m sorry I was pulling away. I am pulling away. It’s not because I like someone else, I just get scared”  
Lance nodded as he pressed a kiss against Keith’s hair  
“I know you do. Maybe we can talk to someone? Together?”  
“I asked mum to invite Coran out here. I know you wanted to be alone, but I also know you don’t have many friends here and I wanted you to have someone here that you trusted. I... I’m proud that you turned to mum. She loves you so much”  
“I feel like I rely on her too much, but she’s the only Galra I know who’s pregnant and can tell me about what’s going on with my body”  
“I want you to talk to me. When you’re scared... I want to know”  
“I’m more lonely than scared. I don’t want to feel lonely”

Shifting position, Keith took Lance’s face in his hands. His husband nuzzling into his right hand affectionately. He didn’t like his husband feeling lonely or isolated. Their fighting would have only served to make him feel worse, yet when he looked at the black eye he’d given him, he felt so quiznakking horrible  
“I can’t promise I won’t mess up again”  
“And I can’t promise I won’t make you worry”  
“So we both have things we need to work on?”  
“Yeah. Let’s go back to your room. I’m sorry Kosmo messed up our bed. I get why you got angry because you were disappointed after working so hard. I would have been angry too”  
“Yeah, but I should have listened. I shouldn’t have lost my temper simply because the bed was a mess. Are you ok, though? I could smell pain when you were laughing”  
“Pregnancy pains. Just some cramping from laughing so hard. They’re not too bad, Mumma K explained that because things are growing and shifting inside that happens. We need to work on talking instead of relying on each other’s scents. My therapist would love you. They always say I catastrophise everything. Instead of looking for the good, I fixate on all the possible bad. I think you do that a lot too. Instead of enjoying what time we have together, you think of everything that can go wrong. Coran’s good to talk to about things. He won’t tell... but the important thing is finding someone you’re comfortable to talk to. You’re the one who told me that”  
Keith let out a scoff of sorts  
“That sounds too smart to have come from me”  
Leaning down, Lance rested his forehead against his  
“You’re pretty smart when you want to be. Rest of the time you’re kind of an idiot”  
“But... I’m still you’re an idiot?”  
“Yeah. Can we make a new rule?”  
Keith would do anything if it meant receiving Lance’s forgiveness, though there was a sense of foreboding  
“What is it?”  
“That you remember I’m married to you, you idiot. That you are the only person I’ve had consensual sex with”  
“You’re the only one I’ve been with too... I don’t want to be with anyone else”  
“Then stop trying to marry me off to Shiro. It’s creepy and I don’t like it”  
“I’m sorry. I get so scared you’ll see you can do better”  
Lance pressed a soft kiss against his lips  
“You’re the one who can do better. You’re gorgeous. You’re smart and you’re fun to be around when we’re not fighting. Plus, Mami has permanently adopted you. I couldn’t break her heart by downgrading in the husband department”  
“I gave you a black eye”  
“And I tried to bash the shit out of you while going off the drugs. You don’t blame me for that. I don’t blame you for your nightmares”  
Keith paused, Lance, stealing a kiss, before continuing  
“See. You know I’m right. Come on, let’s go before Mumma K throws us out”  
“She’d never throw us out. She loves you too much”  
“She loves you even more. Now take me back to y-our room. I want at least 3 solid vargas of cuddling before we have to people again”  
“I think I can do that”  
“Good, because you’ve been holding out on those cuddles and I’ve missed them”  
Kissing Lance, Keith found himself feeling hopeful  
“You’re such a dork”  
“Yep. Now up you get. I’ll race you. First one back to your room is married to me”  
“What if I come second?”  
“Then we’ll both be very confused over how I married myself”  
“I wouldn’t put it past Annla to have found a way”  
“She’s a force to be reckoned with”  
“That she is”  
“Let’s not have a girl. They’re scary”  
Lance laughed as he moved out Keith’s hold  
“I don’t think it works it like that...”  
“Fuck”

*  
With their bed remade, Lance was snuggled up in his hold. Kosmo had been evicted down to his bed on the floor, Keith not feeling forgiving about his wolf messing up their perfectly made bed. Kissing Lance’s hair, his fingertip dragged across the swell of Lance’s stomach lazily, his right arm currently propping him up so he could stare down at his husband as he rested. Lance having stripped off his shirt and sweats in favour of his bra and underwear. Quiznak if he didn’t look sinful, the white of the fabric standing out against his soft skin. For the last few doboshes, his husband had been twitching beneath him like crazy. His bottom lip was trapped by his teeth slightly, with his big blue eyes fixed on Keith’s between his kisses. Feeling the smile tugging on his lips, he let his fingers slide down towards Lance’s side, goosebumps erupting in their wake. Gently ticking his husband, Lance grabbed his hand with a screech  
“Keith!”  
Feigning ignorance, the half-Galra gave a half shrug  
“What? What did I do?”  
“You know what you did”  
“Kiss you?”  
“You tickled me!”  
“Are you sure?”  
Narrowing his eyes, Lance pouted, Keith diving in to steal a kiss from his adorable husband  
“Maybe?”  
“You did it on purpose”  
“I couldn’t help myself. You’re too cute”  
“You tickled me because I’m cute?”  
Stealing another kiss, it was slow and it was deep, Keith cutting it off when Lance started kissing him back, his lips against his husband’s  
“Yeah. I couldn’t help myself”  
“You’re so mean”  
“What do you want me to do about it?”  
“Kiss it better?”  
“Kiss what better?”  
“My pride?”  
Taking his hand out of Lance’s, he placed it back on his husband’s belly, sliding it down his snail trail as Lance drew a gasp, Keith smiling smugly  
“Only your pride?”  
“Don’t...”  
“Don’t what?”  
“Don’t tease me”  
“Are you sure?”  
Now that it was progressing, nerves were setting in. What if he hurt his husband? Or what if he started seizing? What if he hurt their babies?  
“I’m sure... I want to have sex with my husband. Make-up sex sounds hot”  
“I don’t want to stress your body”  
“Keith, I feel so touched starved that I want to cry. My body is fine. They let me leave. I want to feel my husband. I don’t want you to stop touching me because I’m like this. I don’t think I can take it”  
“What if I hurt you?”  
The kiss Lance pressed to his lips was hard and hungry, Keith’s fear corroding in the flames of lust. Sharing several deep kisses, Lance broke off. His pupils dilated with lust  
“You won’t”

Straddling Lance’s thigh, his husband was stripped beneath him. His bra elastic without any confusing clasps, that and his underwear shimmied out of as Keith removed his own clothes, other than his boxer briefs. With his left leg raised and bent away from him, Keith had Lance half caged as he fingered him while they made out. Nipping and sucking at his husband’s neck, Lance was falling apart beneath him. His darkened nipples hardened to stop peaks, his breasts wobbling slightly with each panted breath. Wanton moans spilt brilliantly from Lance’s parted lips, Keith strumming his body like the finest of harps, drawing forth the ever sweeter song that only Lance could produce. He wanted so badly to be buried inside his lover, yet wanted Lance to come from his fingers alone, already he rubbed at his husband’s sweet spot incessantly, causing long dribbles of precum to spill from Lance’s curving erection. Changing the position, he ground against Lance’s thigh, the stitching of his underwear providing friction that his throbbing erection desperately needed. Closing his lips around his husband’s right nipple, Lance trilled as his back arched, a sweetness on his tongue as his husband moaned something in Spanish. Sucking harder, Lance began to babble as his hips moved jerkily, trying to ride Keith’s fingers as warm wetness began to fill his mouth. Some kind of thick fluid that was unexpected, yet not unpleasant. Curious, he pulled off, a yellow stream of fluid slowly ran down the bud to the curve of Lance’s breasts. It was hot as hell. His eyes roaming across to his husband’s other nipple where the fluid had started to bud. Leaning over, he captured the sensitive bud in his teeth this time, Lance crying out in pained as he orgasmed, Keith immediately swapping from biting to sucking, drinking down the small amount of milk Lance had produced. Grabbing his hair, Lance pulled him off his nipple, Keith getting a last tongue swipe in before he was staring at his utterly wrecked husband  
“Nghmmm... no more... feels weird. I want... from behind...”  
“What if I want to see your handsome face?”  
“I need it. I need it me... want it so bad”

Kissing Lance’s drooly lips, he slid his fingers from his lover, his hand coated in Lance’s wetness as he did. Beneath his husband was soaked. The inside muscles of his thighs jumping as shaking as Keith climbed off so Lance could turn over. With absolutely no grace, Lance floundered like a fish out of water, Keith watching the way his husband’s body moved as he rolled. One hand on his belly to support it, while his small breasts hung from no support at all. Arching his back and spreading his legs, Lance placed his hand back down when he was happy with his position. Shimmying his underwater down, Keith slicked himself with Lance’s sweet wetness. His dick throbbing so incessantly that he knew he could last  
“I’m going to climb between your legs now”  
Lance nodded, Keith, doing as he said. His husband’s pretty opening was wide as wetness ran freely from the twitching entrance. Fuck. Now he wanted to eat him out... but Lance wanted him... he wanted him and he’d have to behave. With his dick grasped, he lined himself up, rubbing at his husband’s heat before teasing with the tip  
“I’m putting it in babe”  
“Do it... want it hard... wanna come with you filling me up”  
“I don’t know how long I’ll last”  
“Don’t care... fuck... I feel like I’m in heat”  
Shit. He wouldn’t last. Lance in heat was a wild and untamed sex fiend with no limits. He’d lost count of how many times he’s fucked his pretty arse all over their room. Pushing forward, Lance’s warm walls rippled around him as Keith buried himself balls deep. Both of them whimpering out a moan as he bottomed out. Shit... he couldn’t... his dick was already starting to swell and rib. Taking Lance by the hips, he drew back, then slammed into him, Lance crying out in pleasure. Half a dozen hard thrusts and his seed was flooding his husband as he continued to roll his hips as through pulse after pulse of cum. His pants of pleasure coming out in short growls, lost in the feeling of coming. Clenching around him, Lance met every thrust as he orgasmed again across their freshly made bed. Suddenly, it wasn’t enough to have him on his hands and knees with his belly hanging, he wanted to see it. Lance’s exposed and leaking breasts, his cute swollen belly... filled with their twins. Taking him by the arms, he pulled his husband up so his back was to Keith’s chest. Pinning him to him with a hand on his swell, Keith’s other hand went to Lance’s dick, milking every drop as Lance’s head lolled back onto his shoulder. Shudders running through his lover as Keith’s half grew wetter.

Boneless in his hold Lance hummed, Keith latching to suck a possessive and unhideable hickey high on his husband’s neck. Groaning at him in complaint, Keith ignored it until he tasted blood. Taking his husband’s hands in his own sticky ones, he placed them on Lance’s stomach, nose now buried against the curve of Lance’s neck. Keith felt drained. He felt so fucking drained in all the good ways. He loved his husband. He’d made love to his husband without triggering another seizure. Lance was pretty much purring in his hold as he continued to paint his walls white with his thick seed. This. This they could do. This they did very well. Lance felt made for him. Made for him to hold and cuddle.

Passing the intense waves, Keith manoeuvred them down as they lessened. Spooned around his husband, he peppered kisses to his nape  
“You still awake?”  
Humming at his, Lance squeezed his hand softly. His husband barely awake since coming  
“I love you”  
“Mmnmn... ‘love you too”  
“Wriggling” back against him, Keith snorted as Lance did nothing but rub his back against his chest. Knowing what he wanted, Keith held him tighter  
“You sleep, baby. I’ll wake you up so we can clean up soon”  
“Nnnghm... ‘ank ‘ou... sleepy”  
“I know you are. You’re so beautiful, babe”  
“You... are”  
Lance’s defences were down to zero. Keith taking the chance  
“Hey, do you think you’d be ok with having a baby shower?”  
“Dunno... sleepy”  
“Ok... I just want everyone to see how beautiful you are”  
Lance “shhhh’d” him, Keith smiling as he kissed his husband’s nape again. Hopefully, the idea would take root, and come back to mind when Lance... when they woke from their nap. 

Keith didn’t mean to nap as long as he does, yet it’s long enough for Lance to be awake when groggily comes too. Laying to face him, a soft smile is across his husband’s lips as he stares down at him, a leg thrown around his waist, almost awkwardly as he strokes Keith’s hair, yawning softly, Keith then whispers  
“What are you smiling at?”  
“You. You look so beautiful when you’re sleeping”  
Given Keith could feel the slight amount of crusted drool in the corner of the lips, he wasn’t sure how that translated as “beautiful”  
“You’re the beautiful one”  
Humming with a shrug, Lance throws a little of his weight as he rolls Keith back and straddles his lap. His husband’s hands roaming up his chest as he tilts his head. Lance’s half-hard dick rubbing against his own  
“No. I much prefer what I’m looking at”  
“Is that so?”  
“Yeah. You’re really handsome”  
“And you’re horny”  
Poking his tongue out, his husband grinds against his lap  
“Maybe? Maybe I want to pay you back for earlier”  
Raising his hands to Lance’s hips to hold him down, Keith’s mesmerised by his husband’s body. How could Lance not find himself sexy? He looked sin personified with his soft skin beneath his hands and his long tanned legs... and that arse. Quiznak if the whole universe didn’t know he had it bad for Lance’s arse  
“Is that so?”  
“Mhmm... this hickey didn’t suck its self into existence”  
Sliding his hands further down, Lance’s arm brushed against his nipple, his husband hissing at the contact  
“Babe?”  
“It’s fine. They’re tender”  
“Your milk's coming in”  
“Is it?”

Sitting up, Lance initially tried to hold him down, but the protest was weak. Sliding his hands up his husband’s sides, he cupped Lance’s small breasts, before kissing both nipples  
“Mhmm. I tasted it before. They’re fuller too”  
“They feel ten...nhgh...der”  
Raising Lance’s left breast, Keith captured his nipple, swirling the bud with his tongue before sucking lightly. Letting out a lewd moan, Lance’s head fell forward, his husband hiding his face against his temple  
“Keith... fuck... they’re sensitive...”  
Sucking harder, Lance growled, pushing at him as he raised his hips, Keith abandoning his hold on his right breast to grab his dick, holding himself as Lance slipped in his hurry to mount him  
“Shit...”  
Swearing as he failed, Keith pumped himself a handful of times before tilting his erection slightly for his pregnant husband. Second time lucky, Lance sheathed himself completely, still slick and loose from the few vargas earlier, warm wetness bringing forth a growl as Lance clenched  
“Fuck... shit, Keith... feels weird...”  
Releasing his husband’s breast, He sat Lance up, capturing his lips as his hands grabbed his husband’s arse. The kiss was hungry and frantic, Lance mewing into his mouth as Keith began to rock his hips. Arms coming up to loop over his shoulders.

Breaking for air a few moments later, Lance growled at him, pushing him down and placing both hands on his abs as he started to ride him. Fuck. He had the best fucking husband. He didn’t know what he wanted to hold or grab onto. His hands going from Lance’s arse to hips then to his breasts as his husband fucked himself on him, legs spread in an open kind of squat where everything was on display. Fondling and groping, Lance continued to mew, Keith finding that if he focused on his sensitive nipples, Lance would give a shudder each time the pad of his thumb teased the bud, but each time he groped him, his husband’s rhythm would grow faster. He wanted more. He wanted Lance to want him more. More than just the show of him fucking himself on Keith’s swelling dick.

With a snarl, Keith snapped. Grabbing Lance by the hips, he pushed him on his back, then grabbed him by the ankles so his legs were spread wide. Drilling his husband, Lance’s hands grabbed fistfuls of the sheets, his mouth parted as he panted  
“Jerk yourself while I fuck you”  
With a shaking hand, his husband obeyed, jerking himself hard and fast in time with Keith’s thrusts. He wouldn’t last long again, but at least it was longer than their first round  
“I want to see you come for me. I wanna see you come all over that belly of yours”  
Nodding, Lance’s back arched as he gasped, his cum splattering the bottom of his belly as he fell back. Feeling the heat of his own orgasm rising, Keith pulled out, letting go of Lance’s left ankle as he jerked himself off, coming across Lance’s face and chest in thick juts. Grunting as his hips stuttered, he groaned as he released Lance’s right leg, caging his husband as he sought his lips, not caring about the tastes of his own semen in the brief kiss. Coming down from their highs, Lance giggled beneath him. Keith raising his head to look at his lover questioningly  
“What?”  
“Earlier you said you fucked up... I feel like I’m ”up””  
Groaning, Keith let his head drop back down  
“We’re not fighting just so we can have make up sex”  
“I don’t want to fight... but this is way better than yelling”  
“And you know what’s better than this?”  
“What?”  
His husband squealed as Keith used his Galra strength to sweep him up and into his lap. legs loosely wrapped around his hips as Keith supported him by his abused arse. He’d really like to bask in the warmth of their afterglow longer, but Lance was already being so brave over everything, he didn’t want his lover falling asleep with his face covered in his spunk  
“Cuddles and being clean”  
“Mmm. That sounds perfect. My butt’s still throbbing... and I think my boobs are leaking”  
“We already established they are. Fuck. You drive me fucking crazy...”  
There was a tinge of guilt. Nips and bite marks littered Lance’s chest from earlier, clear finger marks on his hips. He’d been terrified of touching his husband, then when he had, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from wolfing down the meal in front of him  
“It’s nice to feel wanted”  
“Babe. I don’t care if we grow old together and grow out of fucking like rabbits. I’m never going to not think you’re the hottest guy in the universe”

Burying his face against Keith’s neck, Lance let out a shaky breath. Fear leapt to life as Keith reached the bathroom door  
“What is it?”  
“I love you so fucking much...”  
Tears dripped onto the curve of his neck, Keith’s emotions flooding him like a smack to the face  
“I love you too. Every when I’m being a jerk, I love you”  
“I think I really needed this”  
“This” being the intimacy of what they’d spent the afternoon doing  
“I think we both did... We’ve both been so scared, but we’re ok...”  
“Yeah... yeah... can we bath now? My butts getting cold and I wanna hold you”  
“Maybe I want to hold you”  
“Nope... it’s my turn”  
“I wasn’t aware of that”  
“You are now. Dios, Keith. I love you...”

Breaking down into soft sobs, Keith held his husband as he cried. Climbing into the bath may have been awkward, but Lance needed to get these feelings out. He wound up being the one holding his husband as they bathed.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was tossing up between the wedding and the baby shower. I wasn’t going to write the baby shower... but it happened.
> 
> So here you go my lovelies.

“You’re doing it again”  
“Am not”  
“Are too. It’s perfect. You don’t need to keep moving it”  
“I think it’s too far to the left”  
“I’m telling you it’s not”  
“And I’m telling you it is”  
“Lance, you’re being impossible”  
“Then tell me, dear husband, why is the “T” not over the middle? I drew on the mantle remember?”  
“Because the letters aren’t the same size”  
“What kind of lazy arse company doesn’t make the letters the same size!?”  
“In this case, I think it’s the fault of the English alphabet. Now, will you please get off the damn ladder already!”  
“Not if you’re going to be grumpy!”  
“You’re the one being grumpy”  
“Am not”  
“Are too! It looks perfect!”  
“It’s crooked!”

“Boys! Now, now. No fighting. Lance, please get down from that ladder. I’m having guppies watching you up there”  
Rolling his eyes, Lance sighed as he climbed back down the ladder, Keith quick to move it away from the wall so he couldn’t climb back up there to fix the damn hanging sign. None of this had been his idea, but if he was going to be forced to spend the afternoon with everyone, then it had to be perfect  
“It’s “kittens”, Coran. The expression is having “kittens”. If you were both going to get so annoying over the ladder, why did you let me up there in the first place?”  
“Because Coran said I need to let you do more things without worrying”  
“I wasn’t aware how stressing it would be”  
Pointing at both Keith and Coran, Lance huffed  
“You both suck. You both suck and everyone’s going to be here soon”  
Hissing slightly as he rubbed his stomach, Lance was having so many regrets. Why did he agree to a baby shower? Why couldn’t Krolia have a baby shower? She was the one nearly due. He could have had cake. He could have watched her be happy while being forced to socialise. Gazing around the room they’d be loaned for the afternoon, nothing seemed to have been done, other than the “congratulations” sign, that was glaringly crooked. The balloons seemed stupid where they were and Coran was maintaining a safe distance away from him as he continued inflating them.

“Hey, guys! What do you need?”  
“Oh thank god...”  
Carrying their present in between them, Lance was happy as Keith to see Shiro and Curtis. Keith was happy to see Shiro because apparently “he was grumpy”. Lance was happy to see Curtis because there was no way that Keith, or Coran, would tell him off when Lance sent him back up the ladder to fix the damn sign. Shooting his husband a glare Keith didn’t notice, Shiro, chuckling as he and Curtis placed their wrapped gifts relatively close to the door  
“It looks great...”  
Keith cut him off, Lance was certain nothing looked great  
“No. Don’t go there. Lance says otherwise”  
“You two aren’t fighting again, are you?”  
“Keith won’t admit the banner is crooked”  
Groaning Keith crossed his arms, sounded physically pained over the state of the sign  
“It’s not crooked”  
Snapping back, Lance didn’t understand how his husband couldn’t see it was!  
“It’s not straight either!”

“Neither are we!”  
Curtis was met with three heavy eye rolls, and a wave of invisible annoyance that made him take a literal step back with his hands held up on surrender  
“Tough crowd. Lance, do you need some help?”  
Thank the Lord for Curtis  
“Yes. Please. Keith won’t listen. Do you think that “congratulations” banner is crooked?”  
“It looks higher on the left...”  
Keith facepalmed, Lance’s glaring at the offending sign. He’d had it. Things were going sideways before the party even started. Stalking the few steps back to the banner, he reached up and grabbed the “G”. Before he could tear it down, Keith was grabbing him around the stomach and lifting him off his feet. Carrying over the sofa, he stood him down in front of it. Manhandled into sitting, Keith lifted his legs to force him to lay down instead. His hands moved to rest on his stomach. Surely he hadn’t been so annoying that he had to been put in a “time out”  
“Curtis will fix it. You. Sit down, and take a breather. You’re stressing me out watching you stressing yourself out”  
“You said I could do the decorations!”  
“Because you said you’d only have a baby shower if you could help set up!”  
“I was! Red, Keith. Red”

The day was their last day before the tour finally started. Lance would like to say everything had been alright since returning to Keith’s quarters. Having Keith’s full attention for the day and night had been soothing. Not simply the sex, but the lazy cuddles and kissing. The fact they had nowhere to be, and no one interrupting their alone time until early evening. Crying out his shitty feelings, Keith had changed the top sheet they’d messed up, then they’d cuddled as his husband played on his handheld game, while Lance laid in his arms and watched. Proving “help” when he could. Krolia had had dinner sent to them, delivered by Coran. Reassuring them that they could talk the following day, Coran had kept his word, coming a little after breakfast which Lance bullied Keith into making the effort to eat with everyone else. It was Coran’s idea to have a “pause” word. A word of warning for both of them when things were starting to devolve into another fight. Keith had hit the “Red Zone” twice that morning. Lance was worried enough about the tour, his nerves on edge when he’d climbed out of bed to throw up. Fussing over him, Lance had felt smothered, using “Red” to “pause” Keith long enough to tell him that he was feeling smothered. His husband had hit “Red” again when he tried to put him on the sofa while he and Coran started hanging up the directions Shiro had procured. Lance had already made it clear that he wanted to do the setup. He wanted to ensure there wasn’t any form of surveillance without being called paranoid. This was Keith’s third “Red”.

“Me, red? You red!”  
“Me? How?”  
He was about to start crying. His eyes glossy with unshed tears  
“You’re worrying yourself into a panic”  
He wasn’t panicking. He was angry because apparently, people couldn’t make a freakin’ banner  
“I want things to be perfect. I want everyone to have a good time”  
“They’re here to hang out with you. No one cares if the sign is crooked”  
“I do!”  
“And now you’re crying. Babe. You don’t have to stress about this. They’re our friends”  
“Who are all going to focusing... Red. I’m being Red. I don’t want to talk about it”  
Who would be focusing on what a freak he was. Keith had banned the term during their talk with Coran. He was not a freak. He just a little different, and no different from when Keith’s Galra side showed. Leaning down, Keith kissed his forehead  
“You’re not being Red. Maybe we both were a little Red, but the banner looked good. To me, it looked good. I know you’re worried, but it’s just going to be our friends”  
“That’s why I’m worried. They’ve seen too much bad stuff. Seizures. Panic attacks. Now I’m pregnant and... and...”

Keith kissed his forehead again. Since their “make up” sex, his husband had been trying to be more intimate with his touches, trying to deal with his fear of accidentally hurting him again. It seemed to help both their instincts. Keith had calmed down considerably, though that might have been due to the fact that they couldn’t wake up normally. Sometimes he’d wake first, or Keith would wake first, they’d silently lay there marvelling in each other and what they had... then morning wake up kisses would evolve into taking the morning slow with plenty of cuddling, nuzzling and fooling around if Lance was feeling up for it. Which he was... he couldn’t help the flood of hormones or the way the weight of his pregnancy pushed down against his prostate. Plus, having Keith so clearly want him was helping him feel better about his changing body. Sometimes it didn’t have to be something sexual that sent him sky high with love for his idiot. Before they’d left to start setting up, he’d leaked through his bra and shirt without noticing. Keith had stepped in, finding him nursing pads sent over by Krolia to stuff in his bra and helped him change his shirt. Things weren’t perfect. Sometimes despite a good morning, they were snapping at each other by lunch, but this whole colour system helped. A word to say everything they were feeling was too much or they’d gone too close to too far  
“And you’re beautiful. I’m here with you. You don’t have to answer anything at all that makes you uncomfortable. If you have to lie, lie. I’ll support it”  
“I’m scared they’re going to ask how I learned I could pregnant. I’m scared they’re going to work it all out”  
“They already know it’s thanks to Allura. Anything more than that... we can just say it was a surprise”  
“More like a shock”  
“That too. Do you want something to drink? Or something to eat?”  
His stomach said a firm no to both options  
“No. I’m ok. I’m sorry I’m so stressed. I really want this to be perfect for everyone”  
“Babe. This is about you. We’re all hanging out to be with you. All everyone is going to care about is that you’re having a good time. I know you’re anxiety levels are sky-high, but if you tell me “Red” at any point, we can take a breather. No one’s going to be upset or offended”  
“Tell that to my stupid head”  
“I am. Do you want to cuddle a bit before everyone gets here? Coran’s doing the balloons and from the looks of Curtis and Shiro are hanging up the rest of the decorations. There’s not much else to do until everyone gets here”  
“I feel like I should be helping”  
“Babe. You literally went crazy hanging up everything you could as soon as we got here. You’re allowed to take a break”  
Hanging up streamers, paper chains and banners hardly counted as hard work. But if he had an anxiety attack before, or as soon as, everyone arrived, it’d only ruin things for their friends  
“Maybe for a little bit”  
“Skooch over then. I’m coming in”  
“You already did that this morning”

Keith blushed slightly as Lance drew his legs up to make space then climbed into his husband’s lap. Almost immediately, Keith started rubbing his wrist against his neck, trying to smother him with his scent. It sucked no longer being able to wear Keith’s clothes for comfort. He could detect the traces of anger of their little fight about the banner on him, as well as his own anxieties and feel the tenseness from the fear of his anxieties flaring into a fit of jealousy. Perhaps because Coran was older, Keith had been able to keep his unintended insults to a minimum around Coran. He’d growled a few small growls each time Coran had hugged him, or Coran had reached to take his hand before Keith’s brain caught up to the fact it was to be comforting and not to hurt him  
“I’ll be doing it tonight too”  
“Mmmm. Depends how tired I am. I think I’m only going to be up for some heavy snuggling and a bad alien rom-com when we get back”  
“Does it have to be a rom-com?”  
Keith didn’t understand romantic comedies. Not that Lance could blame him, alien rom-coms were weird as hell. The one they’d watched a few nights ago bordered on tentacle porn... really hot tentacle porn, yet really creepy at the same time. His arse took enough abuse from his husband, he was certain he wouldn’t be able to take 10 tentacles up there without splitting in two and had prayed to God they weren’t going to meet the race that made the film  
“No. If we ask Shiro, he might have something more Earthy”  
“We need to invest in more movies. There’s the space at the outpost, we could turn it into a cinema”  
“My emo edge-lord husband’s becoming too trendy. Whatever am I going to do with you?”  
Keith dropped to a sullen mumble  
“I thought it’d make you happy”  
“You make me happy. We’ll figure it out. For now, cuddles and hiding when everyone comes in”  
“You’re in my lap. You’re not exactly hiding”  
Sure he was. His back was towards the party preparations  
“Fiiiiine. Cuddles”  
“Cuddly octopus cuddles?”  
Dropping his hand to Lance’s stomach, Keith tickled him lightly. Lance sighing deeply. Keith with tentacles decided to come to mind... his brain straight out “noping” at the thought  
“No. You can do that later. Normal cuddles”  
“Normal cuddles it is”  
“Thank you”  
“You’re welcome. Wait. What am I being thanked for?”  
“Cuddles, Keith. Thank you for the cuddles”  
“Oh. No worries”  
He wasn’t out of the “Red Zone”, but for a time out, cuddles weren’t a bad way to be “punished”. He was still anxious as quiznak over the party, he hated that he wasn’t hanging up decorations or fussing over the balloons, but Keith was right. He’d been stressing since the night before and now he ran the risk of an attack. He needed to sit down and breathe. He knew everyone coming. There were no hidden surveillance devices. These were the people who were supposed to be their friends... so he needed to relax.

*  
Pidge was the first of their friends to arrive, having put herself in charge of entertainment, she was fast to deposit her gift in Lance’s lap with a “what’s up, losers?”, then bail to the main table to get things sorted. Keith’s team, plus Veronica were next. Again, with presents. Ezor had her arms full until she dumped them down in Lance’s lap, only for Veronica to get antsy and take them all away, before telling him to get out of Keith’s lap and sit normally. Hunk and Shay were hot on their heels, wheeling in a trolley absolutely laden with food, forcing Pidge from the table to the spare seat beside them, her informing them that all the food was safe and allergen-free. That left Krolia the last to arrive, though according to Keith she had a few jobs to do before she came.

With a questionable playlist playing in the background, Pidge had pulled up his ultrasound scans. Her projector set up on top of Curtis and Shiro’s gift, beaming onto the wall where the banner he’d had so much trouble getting placed, had been relocated from. Curtis had taken offence, after all, he’d gotten it perfectly centred and aligned just before Pidge bossed him into taking it down. Coran was continuing to “have kittens” in the background. His balloons were being moved by Veronica, who’d taken over rearranging the whole room for no good reason. If he’d been in the “Red Zone” his sister was in the “Black Zone” and going deeper by the dobosh. Things hadn’t truly started yet, so it felt a little premature to call “Red”, yet, Keith did. Ezor popping up from behind the sofa, popping her pink gum so loudly they both jumped with a flinch. Lance’s hand went to grab at his boot knife, that wasn’t there, as Keith’s hand went to his side to grab his blade that also wasn’t there. Taking Keith’s hand, Lance excused them. Shiro following them as they slipped from the room and into the hall.

Ignoring his brother-in-law’s presence, Lance slung his arms over his husband’s shoulders, nuzzling at his face. His heart was still racing, and Ezor didn’t want to know what he wanted to do with her gum  
“Breathe with me”  
“I’m ok. She took me by surprise”  
“Keith, take a breath”  
His husband took an unnecessarily deep breath, exhaling loudly. Lance snorting, resorting to humour in an attempt to make him feel better  
“Ok. Ok. You can breathe, you dick”  
“I don’t know why I...”  
Keith sounded as if he’d committed some great sin, Lance wasn’t standing for it  
“I did the same”  
“Yeah, but I’m used to her popping her gum”  
“And the sound came out of nowhere. She’s probably in there laughing her arse off”  
“I thought it was a shot...”  
“I did too. V hasn’t helped”  
“No. I’m... I think I’m “Red””  
“You’re not “Red”. Maybe pink, but not “Red””  
“She changed everything. It made me mad”  
“She annoyed me too, but I’m trying”  
“It’s your baby shower. I don’t get why she had to change everything we set up”  
Yeah. He was miffed about that. Everything he’d done was undone by his sister as if he didn’t have an eye for this kind of thing  
“I don’t either. I’m proud though. You didn’t lose your temper, not even when Pidge sat next to me”  
“It put me on edge”  
Nuzzling his husband’s cheek, Lance pressed a kiss to Keith’s scar tip. He hadn’t been able to look at Hunk, but this was Keith calling “Red”, not him. He didn’t want to stress his love further by mentioning his anxieties decided today he couldn’t meet Hunk’s gaze, let alone actually greet him like a friend. No. Keith would worry too much if he knew...  
“But you didn’t snap. You recognised the symptoms and you took a breath. That’s the main thing. Are you ready to go back in?”  
“Yeah... Yeah. Mum should be here soon”  
Keith didn’t sound enthused about heading back in  
“Do you want to stay out here until she comes?”  
“No. I’m fine, Shiro. You can head in if you want”

“Drawn” into their conversation, Shiro pulled them both into a hug. Lance and Keith both screwing their faces up in fake revolt  
“I’m so proud of you guys. You talked it out instead of fighting. I don’t know what this “Red” means, but it seems to be working”  
Keith let out a growl tinged squeak as he tried to push Shiro off. Lance scared that his husband was going to snap, instead, he sounded annoyed  
“It’s a Coran thing. Can you stop squashing my husband? He’s pregnant”  
“Plus, Keith is “Pink” right now. I think we’re both a bit “Pink” thanks to Veronica”  
“To think she’ll be taking over as Captain of the Atlas. I want you both to know I’m happy for you. I can’t rein your sister in. I’m afraid you’re going to need to be patient with her. Patience yields focus”  
You could take Shiro out of space, but you couldn’t take the “Space Dad” out of Shiro  
“Ok. Noted. Now let go”  
Shiro finally let go, ruffling Keith’s hair as he did, Keith swatting at him  
“Our two father’s to be”  
“That’s enough”  
“Lance and Keith...”  
Stepping on Shiro’s toes, Keith scowled are his brother. Lance widely staying out of their bickering  
“You’re acting like Coran. You’ve known for movements now that Lance is pregnant. No more teasing us”  
“I can’t help it. My little brother...”  
Taking him by the hand, Keith tugged him back towards the baby shower  
“Ignore him. He’s broken”  
“But I’m gonna be an uncle”  
“I’m not letting you near our kids unless you settle down”  
“I can’t help it. Pidge has your ultrasounds playing. What happened to the Keith that was excited by their tiny hands?”  
“Get your eyes off their tiny hands”

Hitting the hand reader, the door opened before them. They’re friends all making themselves busy around the food in an attempt to hide the fact they’d been trying to eavesdrop. Their friends were wankers. Shiro gently propelling them both in the room before they could escape. Walking over to them with a plate load of food, Veronica narrowed her eyes at him  
“What was that?”  
“What was what?”  
Trying to play dumb caused Veronica to narrow her eyes further  
“You walked out of your own baby shower. Is something wrong? Do we need to take you to the infirmary?”  
“What? No. I needed to ask Keith something without everyone listening”  
“Is there something we should know that you’re hiding from us?”  
“Dios, V. Calm down. Dad here already came out with us”  
Mentally Lance continued his sentence, annoyed he couldn’t have a private word with husband without everyone thinking he needed to be supervised  
“You’ve already rearranged the whole baby shower as it is, why don’t we just celebrate you for the quintant and call it a night”  
He was dying to say it. The plate in front of him was piled up because Veronica clearly thought he wasn’t being fed or something... or maybe she didn’t trust him to feed himself  
“I’m worried about you”  
“I’m fine, V. You’re making a scene”  
“You should be resting”  
“Which I would be if you weren’t questioning me. I’m fine. I can get my own food, and make it to the sofa perfectly fine. It’s a party”  
“You stepped out... I want to know it’s not due to something medical”  
“It wasn’t. I’m fine. They’re fine. We’re all fine. Keith, let’s grab something to eat”  
“I got you a plate...”  
“Thanks, but I can choose what I want to eat, and that’s way too much food”  
All of it sided on healthy. Healthy might have been the better idea, but he’d seen the purple iced cupcakes Hunk had baked. They were calling his name with their sweet sugary goodness  
“You need to eat. You’re too thin”  
Keith squeezed his hand firmly, tugging him back as he put himself slightly between them. Great. Keith’s instincts were playing up as it was  
“Dios, V! Stop it! You are not Mami. You’re being rude. The twins are perfectly healthy. Now you’re stressing me out with your worrying, and I just wanna relax”

“Why are we all standing in the doorway? Don’t tell me you started the party games without us”  
Spinning around, Keith was pulled along. His husband wrapping his arms around him as they both found Shiro had stepped back for Marco, Daehra, Lucteal and Krolia  
“Marco! What you doing here?!”  
“You didn’t think I was going to miss my baby brother’s baby shower, did you!?”  
Given Keith wouldn’t let him go, he was dragged the few steps as Lance threw his arms his brother  
“How!?”  
“That’s up to Krolia to tell you. You’re looking better than the last time I saw you”  
“I’m looking fatter!”  
“That too. Now, there better be food left. I can’t remember the last time I tasted Hunk’s cooking”  
“There’s plenty of food. Come on in already. Keith and I were about to grab something ridiculously sugary”  
“I would eat a shoe if Hunk cooked it”  
“We know. Make sure you say thank you to Shay while you’re stuffing your face”  
Giving him a playful shove, Marco nodded at Keith as he passed, making a beeline for the food with the comment  
“I will”

Daehra and Lucteal both stood in front of Krolia looking nervous, reaching out, the two siblings reluctantly returned his hug. Lance was no empathy, yet he knew the aura his husband was casting. If Veronica wasn’t his sister than his sister would be nursing a broken nose by now. His siblings took overbearing to the maximum  
“Sorry about Keith. I’m so happy to have you here. Come in, find somewhere to sit. No one told me you were coming. How’s the outpost? How’s Zak and Tobias? And Th’al? Have you heard from her? What about Yule?”  
He was happy. Happier than when everyone else had arrived. He missed his team. He missed working for his GAC and leading them on crazy adventures. He missed his outpost and everything he’d worked his arse off to build out of nothing. None of his old friends or team could say they helped him. Keith had had minimal contribution to the outpost too. It was his baby. The proof he wasn’t the useless seventh wheel  
“First you to tell me to sit, now you ask me question after question. You’re the one who needs to spill. How could you worry us like that!? I had hoped you two idiots would stay out of trouble. Yet, you manage to get into a fight. I had a good mind to come here and shoot you for worrying us”  
“Aw, Daehra. I missed you too. It was a minor scuffle. I’m all healed up now”  
“You’re still in trouble. As for your questions, everyone, and the outpost are adequate. Marco has managed not to screw up majorly in the last movement, though we did have the Erathus police pay us a visit. Two bounties, people trafficking. They refused to take the captives back to their home planet so we bribed them to get them back to Erathus. Th’al organised safe passage home”  
“That’s my girl! Man, I’m missing so much. Right. Go get something to eat and drink, then I want to hear all about this”  
Daehra hadn’t told him of this, Lance kind of annoyed that she’d keep something that big from him, but so quiznakking proud of them. Taking a hit to the bounty meant nothing when it helped get people safely back to their home planets and resulted in less scum flying around their sector. Moving back, with Keith still “octopusing” him, the two siblings stepped into the party where Acxa was quick to make them feel welcomed. Finally, Krolia entered, leaving space for Shiro to slip in behind her. Hugging his mother-in-law, she gave him a firm squeeze before breaking the embrace  
“Like your surprise?”  
“Are you kidding me? I love it. How are they here?”  
“I may have decided that you needed a wormhole generator at your outpost so I could visit my grandchildren easier”  
“Are you serious?!”  
That was a costly bit of tech. Complicated too  
“We scrapped a cruiser not that long ago. We were going to install it in one of our newer ships, but then Keith mentioned having a baby shower and I knew I had to set it up on your end. Miriam will be ecstatic when she hears. She did want to be here...”

“And here she is”

“Mami!”  
Carrying what seemed to be a heavy present, his mother shuffled around the doorway. Shiro player the perfect gentleman by taking the package from her. Thanking him, his mother found herself in a bear hug as Keith finally let go from around his waist and Lance pounced on his mother  
“What are you doing here? I thought you and Papi would be busy on the farm?”  
“I couldn’t miss your baby shower, Mijo. Krolia called me to organise the whole thing. Papi wishes he was here, but you know your father’s not one for baby showers. He’s fine and sends his love”  
“And the farm?”  
“The farm is just fine, Mijo. Now let me hug my other son”  
Lance pouted as his mother dumped him in favour of Keith. His husband hugging her without a single ounce of self awkwardness. The hug was brief but loving. Lance loving the way his husband could finally hug Miriam without awkwardly hovering his hands above her back because he was too unsure where to put them  
“Mami. I didn’t know you were coming. Thanks for being here”  
“I’m only here for a couple of hours, Mijo... oops, vargas. I wanted to see both of you after that horrible attack and all those horrible lies. They make me so livid”  
Slinging his arm over his mother’s shoulder, Lance didn’t want to think about the attack now that his mother was there, nor did he want Keith worrying over it and triggering his instincts by accident  
“Alright, Mami. It’s a party. Hunk and Shay did all the cooking. Pidge is on entertainment. Coran did the balloons and Veronica did the redecorating. Shiro and Curtis tried to help but when the girls got here that went out the window”  
His mother laughed  
“Oh, dear! I’m sure it was wonderful beforehand. Oh, Mijo. It’s so good to see you off those crutches and looking better”  
“I’m feeling better. My stomach hasn’t felt as gross now that I’m not accidentally eating things I’m allergic too”  
“I’m glad it was figured out. You lost so much weight. Have you put any on?”  
“I’m rounder, does that count?”  
His mother shook her head  
“No. Though you do look as if you’re about 22 weeks, if I didn’t know it was twins, I’d think you much further along. Is that a Galra trait?”  
“Galra pups do tend to be slightly larger than human babies, but given Lance is full human and Keith is only half-Galra, they’re more likely to be a healthy human size”  
Krolia piped up from behind them. Lance feeling rude having his back towards her thank to hugging his mother  
“At least you won’t need to worry about a natural delivery. Now, let me get some of this delicious food and let’s all get comfortable”

The sofa was dragged across closer to the table as the room was rearranged to fit everyone more comfortably. Lance ended up sitting between Keith and his mother, directly across from where Marco was slowly driving Veronica crazy by stealthily flicking small berries at her. Acxa teaming up with Marco to flick the berries that missed his target back to him. On his bump sat his cupcake, each time he’d gone to take a bite, someone would say something that took extra attention to focus on. Before he knew it, he was pressed as hard to Keith as he could be, and out of nerves he’d reduced his precious cupcake to rubble. Not one to say no to cuddles, his husband was holding him firmly against him, Keith feeding him a bite of his own cupcake after deciding it was too sweet for him. To Lance, the frosting was delicious in every way he needed butter, sugar, and bubblegum flavouring to be. The cupcake was a moist lemonade base, that failed to capture his interests. He knew he was probably being a horrible friend by not commenting on how amazing the cupcakes truly were. Closer inspection had revealed a shimmering silver swirl through the piped purple icing, inside was like a mini-galaxy with lines of blues, greens and hot pink. Like everything Hunk baked, he’d worked hard and took pride in his work... only now he’d reduced one to rubble and wasn’t sure what to do with the debris.

Not noticing his mother leave his side, it was as if she read his mind as she placed a fork down next to the demolished cupcake. Laughing at Mami’s actions, Keith drew his attention up from his plate  
“What?”  
“Nothing. It’s fine now”  
“Huh?”  
He was lost. Very lost. Why was Keith smiling at him? Drawing his brow in confusion, Keith kissed his forehead before explaining  
“You were staring at your cupcake so intently you looked like you were about to cry. Mami asked if you wanted a spoon, but you didn’t reply. Then you said out loud that you wished you had a fork”  
He had? Here he thought he’d been doing a good job keeping up with everyone... maybe he hadn’t  
“Oh”  
His cheeks reddened, their friends laughing lightly at his absent-mindedness. Why did they have to laugh?  
“It’s a good cupcake?”  
“Yeah. They’re amazing cupcakes... this whole baby shower is amazing... Th-thank you”  
Fuck. Quiznak. He was crying. His Mami taking his plate while Keith nuzzled his hair  
“Sorry... I’m just really grateful you’re all here”  
No one had said anything overly annoying other than Veronica. No one was making a fuss, happy to talk to each other while he listened on. Keith was warm and soothing at his side, his husband’s scent spiking from time to time, but overall even. His husband had kept his temper and by being called out he’d been able to say that Hunk’s cupcakes were amazing. This was all he wanted. No one making him feel like the centre of attention. No one asking him a million and one questions over his pregnancy. He had his Mami and his team... and other than the overall theme of it being a baby shower, it was kind of just like hanging out... with cupcakes.

“Red?”  
Whispering in his ear, Lance gave a small shake of his head  
“No. A little but no. Nerves”  
“You don’t need to be nervous”  
“I destroyed a cupcake”  
A great cupcake. A cupcake Hunk had probably spent vargas perfecting after he’s spent vargas thinking them up  
“So? Marco’s been destroying Veronica’s mood this whole time. It’s not a big deal”  
“I know. I... I think I’m happy... but I don’t know”  
“You’ve done nothing wrong and you’ve said nothing wrong. Everyone’s having a good time”  
“Are they? I thought I was paying attention but apparently, I zoned out”  
“You’re nervous. It’s ok”  
“Do you think it’s alright if I go to the bathroom? Or would it be rude?”  
“Nope. You’re pregnant. You’ve normally peed by now”  
“I’m kind of disturbed you know how often I’ve peed. Plus, I haven’t drunk anything”  
“Babe!”  
“Shhh... I didn’t say it so you’d yell at me. We all sat down and I kind of felt bad about getting up again”  
“Idiot. Guys, I’m borrowing my husband for a tick. We’ll be back soon. Veronica, don’t kill Marco while we’re gone. Coran, you’re in charge”

Grabbing two glasses of something random off the table, Keith led him out the room again. Pausing a few steps into the hall, Keith then let his hand go to offer him one of the glasses  
“I have no idea what’s in here, but you need the fluids”  
“I only wanted to wash my face”  
That was true-ish. He didn’t want the fuss, nor did he want them to keep watching him while he cried in his husband’s arms  
“Drink. That one. Then this one. Then we’ll walk to the bathroom”  
“You sound like you’re trying to get me drunk”  
“As much as I wish you could drink, it’s not happening”  
Poking his tongue out, he then took the first glass  
“This better not be that god awful wine”  
“I promise I’ll drink the second glass if it is”  
Throwing it back like a shot, if Lance’s eyes weren’t watering before, they were now. His breath robbed from him as he hunched over to cough and wheeze  
“Lance!?”  
“Nunvil. Fuck... that was nunvil...”  
Keith didn’t seem to believe him, yet shot his drink as a sign of support. Coughing, Keith took his glass for him, placing them both together on the floor  
“Pidge fucking spiked it”  
“Why us?”  
“I don’t know. She’s not being Godmother”  
“Dios, no. She’s already decided they’re her minions”  
“Are we having God Parents?”  
Lance jerked slightly, now wasn’t the time to be asking that, yet his reply came automatically  
“Shiro and Curtis”  
Straightening up, Keith seemed to forget they were both recovering from being temporarily winded  
“Shiro and Curtis? Are you sure?”  
“Yeah. Yeah, I really am. Are you not?”  
“No. No. I didn’t know you’d thought about it”  
“I hadn’t. Not today. They’re... I didn’t even have to think about it. So yeah... I mean, only if you’re ok with it”  
“I just don’t want you to be just saying that because you think that’s what I want?”  
“No. Space Dad would be an amazing dad. He’s gonna be an amazing dad. He straightened you out for the most part”  
Keith raised his hand to his hair, dragging his fingers through the top and ruining the loose ponytail he had his hair in. His husband sounded a little awestruck  
“Are you sure?”  
Lance nodded, his emotions yo-yo-ing to something akin to ridiculous happiness he couldn’t define  
“Yeah. Yeah. I am. Do we tell them? When do we tell them? Is now good? I don’t know the protocol for this kind of thing”  
“I’m sure not drinking spiked juice is in the baby shower protocol guideline. But yeah. Yeah, when we get back we can tell everyone. Make it official”  
“Shiro and Curtis are going to make great parents...”  
Reaching for Keith, he drew him into a tight hug, nuzzling and kissing his neck. God Parents. Shiro and Curtis were going to be God Parents. Official. Like actually tell them properly in front of everyone, God Parents  
“We’re going to make great parents”  
“Are we?”  
“We can’t be worse than Marco or Veronica”  
Snorting, Lance leaned back, Keith quick to kiss him the tick his face was clear of his neck. Shoving him off, Keith was smiling like an idiot, tugging him back against him, his lips ghosting across Lance’s as he dropped to a whisper  
“I’ll continue that later”  
God. If he wasn’t half hard before, he was now. Kisses and laughter had him wanting to run away back to Keith’s room for the remainder of the quintant, yet they couldn’t do that  
“You better. No more kisses until after the party or we’re never going to make it back”  
“I’m surprisingly ok with that”  
“I thought you might be. Now, I want to wash my face and I don’t need an escort...”  
“You’re getting an escort, whether you liked it or not”  
“Just keep your hands out my pants”  
“What about my mouth?”  
“Keeeeith. Quit it. We can’t be gone that long or everyone is going to know what we got up to”  
“Let them”  
He’d been defeated. Completely defeated by his husband  
“I give up. You’re impossible. You’re having a time out buddy. No coming into the bathroom”  
“Why?”  
“Because you’re being impossible”  
Throwing up his hands, Lance turned to walk away before realising something  
“Babe, do you actually know where the bathroom is?”

Keith messaged Krolia for directions, leading to Krolia chaperoning them too and from the bathroom. His mother-in-law didn’t say anything, but that in its self was saying a lot. Lance felt as if she’d right through to the fact they’d been flirting and discussing blow jobs in the bathroom right before she stepped out. Returning to the party, Marco was now wrestling with Veronica. Curtis was filming while Shiro was pinching the bridge of his nose. Slipping in, Keith led him over to Coran who passed them two glasses of the same stuff they’d been tricked with in the hall  
“Someone seems to have to gotten to the nunvil. I ensure you both these drinks haven’t been tampered with”  
Lance didn’t know if he was disappointed or not. Alcohol would definitely strip away the last of his anxieties. Instead, he sipped his drink and eyed his siblings  
“Our money is on Pidge. Why are Marco and Veronica fighting?”  
“Veronica finally snapped over having berries thrown at her and it dissolved into this”  
His mother made him jump, very narrowly avoiding spilling his drink  
“Mami! Don’t sneak up me. It’s not nice”  
“Sorry, Mijo. I saw you sneaking back in, and wanted to know how you are. You’ve been very quiet”  
“I’m fine, Mami. Relaxing. Trying to relax. But I’m good. The twins are good. The party's good. It was all a bit much before”  
“I remember those feelings. As long as you’re having a good time”  
“I am. Keith and I wanted to announce something, but it seems like Veronica isn’t done torturing Marco”

From his other side, Coran tapped at the glass in his hands, drawing everyone’s attention, including Marco and Veronica’s. Expectantly he looked to Lance, who promptly looked to Keith. He didn’t need to suddenly be put on the spot  
“Well, my boy. You said you had something to say?”  
Everyone was staring at them. Everyone was staring at them and Lance had forgotten the English language. Saving him, he could have kissed his mother  
“Before Keith and Lance make their announcement, I would like to thank everyone for being here today to celebrate with Lance and Keith. You all know better than I do what you’ve been through together, but these two... these two... more than once they’ve given extra grey hairs. I shudder to think of the experiences you all shared together, yet it has made all of you stronger. Turned you into family rather than friends. None of us expected this pregnancy. Still, all of you have supported my two sons as if it was natural as breathing. Like any new parent and parent to be, it’s a terrifying and terrific ride. Some days you wonder why it’s all worth it until they’re standing here in front of you, making you incredibly proud. I’m so proud of both of you. And I’m so proud of everyone in this room. Hunk, Shay, your cooking puts this old woman to shame. Pidge, you’re a technical whiz that frankly slightly scares me. Acxa, I have no idea how you put up with our Veronica, but I can see you love her very much. Veronica... yes, well, we’ll talk about this. You too, Marco. Oh dear, I’m rambling on. I just want to say thank you to all of you, and ask that you continue to keep these two out of trouble”  
“Mami...”  
“I love you, Mijo. I love you both”

His mother was an angel personified. Hugging her tightly, Keith was also misty-eyed as he hugged both of them. Waiting an appropriate time, Pidge piped up  
“What’s this announcement!? I need the details people!”  
Laughing, they broke the hug, Lance nodding as he wiped his eyes, feeling more confident about addressing everyone  
“Sorry, Gremlin. Right. Announcement. First. Thank you. Thank you for all of this. Keith and I are both grateful you’re both here. And thanks to Mumma K for her surprises. Um... there’s something Keith and I want to ask... we talked about it, and even though we love you all, um... Keith, maybe you should...”  
Keith nodded, his hand in Lance’s as squeezed firmly  
“We wanna... I mean, we want to formally announce that Shiro and Curtis are to be the God Parents of our twins. We talked about it, and it’s what we both want. I don’t know how all this works, but if anything happens to us, we want the twins to go into the care of Shiro and Curtis. Besides, as Lance says, being uncles and aunts is the better job because at the end of the day you can hand them back. Plus, we all know he’s better at keeping in contact with everyone than we are”  
Keith laughed nervously at his own joke, not sure he’d sounded as funny as he’d hoped. His husband did sound kind of shaky, yet he’d managed to get their point across. Stumbling across the room, the three of them found themselves being hugged by a crying Curtis and equally crying Shiro  
“Are you sure?”  
His Mami escaped from Shiro’s hold, leaving Lance holding his crying brother-in-law, Keith similarly trapped by Curtis  
“Yeah. We’re certain. We wanted everyone to know, here, so they could all witness it. We trust you. I trust you. You know, you didn’t do a half-bad job with Keith”  
“Thanks, I think”  
“You didn’t do a half-bad job with all of us. Nothing that happened was your fault. I want you to know that”  
“Lance”  
“None of it. Ok. Now stop crying and hug your boyfriend before my husband gets jealous”  
“We can’t have that”

Trading partners, Keith went about rubbing his wrist on Lance’s neck while Curtis thanked them. Lance knew Shiro was scared of losing Curtis, so he kind of hoped that this gave him the little push he needed to finally put a ring on Curtis’s finger and lock him down already. After all, the pair of them were individually smarter than both of them added together. 

“Boo! Favouritism! I’d take great care of them!”  
Calling out, Pidge threw a stray berry at them in “anger”. Having nothing to throwback, Keith growled instead. Stepping on his foot, Lance answered for the both of them  
“No. You already said no to nappies. You’d forget to feed them or let them loose in the lab without supervision”  
“Oh come on. How else am I supposed to train my minions?”  
“You can train your own minions when you brew them. These ones are spoken for”  
“I bet I can change your mind”  
Wiggling her fingers at him, Lance didn’t fall under her “magical charms”  
“And pray tell, our dear little Gremlin, how do you plan to accomplish that?”  
“I’m going to give you your present again. Now. I went to a lot of work to get this perfect for them. Veronica, where’d you put the presents?”  
“In the corner, out the way”  
Clapping his hands, Coran beamed  
“I think presents are an excellent idea. Now, you two sit back in the middle over there so we can all see. Pidge, you film this. Everyone, get your presents”

As if to continue the “magic”, Coran magically found up his present which ended up in Lance’s lap before he’d finished sitting. Tweaking his moustache as he rocked back on his heels, the Altean was obviously pleased with himself. Bumping him out the way with her hip, Pidge dropped her present on top of his, smug as she did  
“I called first dibs”  
“My present was in Lance’s lap first”  
“I gave Lance his present when I first came in”  
“I was here setting up”  
“Face it, Coran. You snooze you lose”  
“I’m older than you. Perhaps you should defer to your elders”  
“Nope. Present time is my idea”  
“It’s a party, naturally there were going to be presents”

“If we are going to argue presents, I beat both of you with the wormhole generator”  
Lance sucked his lips in as he tried not to laugh at Krolia shutting both Coran and Pidge up. The silence lasted for a few precious ticks, before both of them turned on her  
“That doesn’t count”  
“I believe, young Miss Pidge is correct. Your gift is not physically here”  
“Yeah. Now open my gift first”  
“Yes. No...”  
Coran groaned at his error, Pidge grinning as she nudged him  
“What was that?”  
“Well played”  
“I thought so”

Pidge and Coran turned out to be as smart as each other. Pidge had had two miniature lab coats made, with “minion 1” and “minion 2”, embroidered over the chest pocket. Coran had made their twins tiny Paladin outfits in red and blue. They were cute, but seeing their old armour filled him with so many regrets he honestly wanted to burn them. Plushies of their lions were acceptable, but there was just something about the armour that rubbed his heart raw. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t not accept them with a smile on his face and tears Coran mistook to be of happiness. That particular trauma was something for further therapy sessions. Taking the tiny matching suits, Keith buried them under the lab jackets, as politely as possible as he thanked Coran.

Ezor and Zethrid had had a similar idea with miniature weaponry, and a box of pink gum. That was big fat nope, that he wasn’t afraid of saying so. Ezor and Zethrid both taking back their gifts... for a later date. From Shiro and Curtis, they were gifted a change table with a set of drawers. Shiro also gifting them, him, a handbasket of all kinds of hand and skin lotions, apologising for the hole in the cellophane where he’d taken out the Aloe Vera face mask and hand cream. The thought was appreciated. Itchy red welts were not a fun time he needed to repeat. Acxa and Veronica gifted them baby clothes, in the form of tiny garrison uniforms and tiny blade uniforms, and a very sticky tabbed book on pregnancy. All her tabs read “important”, and all of them would be being ignored. Lance was somewhat suspicious that their friends had all gotten together to play some big joke on them with all the outfits. At least there were a few differences in sizing... but at most they’d maybe be worn once then locked away forever. Marco's gift to him... was awesome. Non-alcoholic beer for him, a case of Lance’s favourite for Keith. Earplugs, dummies, two those toddler things that were pretty much like a dog jacket with a lead to prevent escaping. A white noise machine for their bedroom. Keith’s face turned bright red when he popped the box for the machine open to find a lingerie bag on top with something electric blue and lacy escaping from it. As well as gifting them far too much, Marco has also got himself a shirt that said “world’s best uncle”. Lance was laughing and crying so hard that his brother had no idea what was happening. Needing a dobosh and assuring everyone he was fine, his mother fetched him a drink while Pidge fanned his face because apparently, he was as red as Red.

Thinking that his Mami was the last one left, having forgotten that Hunk and Shay were yet to gift them a present, he was confused when a very nervous Hunk shuffled over. Pidge had stopped fanning him once he’d regained his composure, blowing a raspberry at him at him and telling him “that made for a terrible recording” as she did. He was totally overwhelmed by how happy Marco’s stupid present had made him, crying and sniffling softly as he wiped at his face, trying to force the smile on his lips not waver for Hunk  
“Um... this is from I and Shay. Shay and I. Shay and me”  
Handing his gift over, Lance nodded. With how awkward things were between them he wouldn’t have been surprised if it was a bomb  
“Thanks, man. You guys didn’t have to get us anything. We all know you’re busy with your wedding”  
With a weird squeak, Hunk pressed his the tips of his two pointer fingers together  
“I couldn’t not give one of my best bros a present at his baby shower”  
Oh. Keith hadn’t really opened anything... covertly he tried to hand it to his husband who rejected the gift with a slight jab of the elbow into Lance’s side. Having Hunk so close was fraying on his nerves. His face was starting to morph into... “Not Hunk”. Swallowing dryly, he undid the paper with shaking hands, revealing a cot mobile inside  
“It spins. I made it myself, you know. It’s powered with a fragment from Shay’s balmera... and has little lions for all the adventures they’re going to have. Like we had...”  
Lance’s hands were shaking so hard he could barely hold the intricately made gift. The lions had glowing eyes, their paintwork exactly the same shades as their original counterparts  
“It’s incredible”  
Nodding in agreement, Keith took the mobile from his hands  
“You’ve outdone yourself with this one, Hunk”  
“I wanted it to be perfect. I tried making a Voltron one that came together, but it kind of caught fire”  
Hunk was joking hopefully, Keith a little more careful as he added it to the pile next to them  
“You won’t be too offended if we try it before we put it up, right?”  
“No, bro. They’re your twins right...?”  
Lance, unfortunately, jumped to offence, Keith the one keeping a cool head. Hunk had meant as in “they’re you’re precious children and it’s understandable that you’d want to make sure the room didn’t catch fire”. Something that went over Lance’s head. Keeping his mouth shut, he leaned into Keith  
“Yeah. Exactly. No hard feelings?”  
“Nah, we’re good man”  
“Thanks, and thank you, Shay”

Lance wanted to laugh over the whole “fire” thing. He really did, but Hunk’s words sunk in. Tomorrow. The day after that. The day after the day after that. For the next phoeb. He was going to be the forgotten second Red Paladin of Voltron. The people they were going to meet were going to want to know all about their victories as Voltron. They’d be referred to as Paladin of Voltron. He was going to be “Lance the Supposed Red Paladin who wore Blue Armour”. Shiro was famous as the Black Paladin, more famous than Keith as the Black Paladin. Allura died as the Blue Paladin. Her legacy never forgotten. Him. He was just the extra. The spare Paladin. The Paladin that Blue rejected and Red begrudgingly accepted. The freak that was attacked. The freak they thought organised that very same attack. The human male that was pregnant... and unwanted. They didn’t know he was the one who walked away from the Coalition. No. To them, the Coalition simply dropped its excess baggage. He’d died for them and it wasn’t enough. He’d barely been able to get Red to come save him and Veronica. His left hand went to his throat, trying to claw his shirt out the way as his lungs forgot oxygen was necessary. He didn’t want to remember being a Paladin. He didn’t want to remember how badly it hurt to be tossed aside and forgotten. How Hunk and Pidge had basically forgotten his existence. How Kuron had yelled at him until he was crying. Or pushed him “accidentally”. Hit him “accidentally” too hard during training. Has disregarded everything he ever tried to contribute until he was too afraid to leave his rooms some days other than to take care of the others. Wheezing, his breathing was out of control. His friends watching him make a fool of himself. Laughing and silently judging. When Keith took his hand away from where he was scratching at his throat, his fingers went to the soft skin of his right wrist where his nails caught. He’d wanted Allura back so desperately. He’d gone crazy in grief over losing her. Then... now... everyone suspected something between him and Klearo. A hiccuped cry escaped. Keith gathering him into his lap properly. Their friends watched on with sympathetic expressions, Shiro shooing them back from the couple. Not that he saw. He couldn’t articulate his words. When Keith’s touched his cheek, he felt as if it was some unknown Galra covering his mouth. He was the useless Paladin. Now he was the useless Paladin about to be paraded in front of everyone. He didn’t want to be that person. He wanted everything to go perfectly for the sake of the Galra empire, that’s what he would say. Reality was that he only wanted things to go smoothly so his friends' lives would be improved. So more people would receive aid from the Coalition and continue the road to recovery now that good people were in charge of the reformed Galra empire. Attempting to guide his face to his neck, Lance felt himself struggling. He felt himself struggling as if he was being dragged from the putrid cell they kept him stabled naked in. Everything in his head was only growing worse as his thoughts increased in speed. He couldn’t... he couldn’t...

*  
Lance’s panic attack had caught Keith off guard. Not the slow descent towards one, but the severity and speed in which it hit. His husband had managed to cut himself with his nails while holding him down only aggravated him further. Guiding his face to his neck and a clawing hard to rest over his heart, Keith gently hushed him as he started to rock him. Their friends respectful enough to give him the space to calm Lance down without the prying eyes. Unable to touch Lance’s hair without triggering tremors, Keith couldn’t nuzzle into his husband’s soft locks to offer comfort. His breathing was forced into long and deep breaths, as he attempted to synch Lance’s breathing with his. He’d been so good at pulling himself out of attacks. He’d been so good at taking his medication, though the absence of it from system thanks to the attack had seriously set him back. His mood showed as much, as did his scent. His husband reeked of fear. It wasn’t Hunk who’d sent him over the edge. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Lance was a prisoner to his mind, which could be a right royal douche when it wanted to be. He could only assume that the reminder of Voltron and their lions had been too much on top of all the emotions he was feeling from the baby shower. Lance had been happy. That was something that couldn’t be denied. He and Shiro were the ones who’d considered things other than baby things for Lance. He’d wanted their friends to make a fuss of him, almost as if it was his birthday or something. Something to show that they accepted the changes he was going through. 

Lance fought passing out. The long doboshes filled with gasps and wheezes, before he finally fainted in Keith’s hold. Keith wishing Lance had fainted faster so he would have been spared the fatigue and fear of not being able to breathe. With Lance so pliant, he moved his husband to a better position between his legs. His husband’s side to his chest as he held him close. After what Shiro must have determined an adequate amount of time, his brother let himself back into the room, keeping his steps light as he moved to squat down in front of them. Knowing now that his instincts were something he was struggling with, his brother kept his hands on his knees where Keith could see he wasn’t making a move towards Lance  
“How is he? Did he calm down?”  
“He fainted. I think everything he was feeling hit him all at once”  
“He looks exhausted”  
“He was up throwing up with nerves. Or, at least I think it was nerves. He was so paranoid about it all having to be perfect for everyone”  
“He does that. What do you want to do? Do you want to take him back to your room?”  
“What’s everyone else want to do?”  
“Pidge is already talking about movies. She says she’s got a copy of some amazing new movie that she thinks Hunk will like. We’ve got the food and nowhere to be for the rest of the afternoon”  
“He’ll probably sleep through it”  
“He can sleep here. We’ll rearrange the room a little, so you don’t have to disturb him. Miriam’s given everyone the “you can’t control all the hormones in your body talk””  
“What about Hunk?”  
“Worried. Afraid he upset Lance. Shay’s trying to tell him that Lance was probably overwhelmed”  
“He was... Is. He was happy too. I’m thinking Voltron pushed him over. When I saw Black and Red, I couldn’t help but wish they were still here with us”  
“Shall I tell everyone we’re going to have a movie night?”  
“Yeah. We were going to do the same thing after the baby shower, to unwind before tomorrow”  
“At least we won’t be leaving too early. Their sunrise won’t be for a vargas after Daibazaal’s. We can take it slow in the morning”  
“Shiro, do you really think Lance remembers how to take it slow? Unless his depression is kicking his arse for the day, I can’t get him to stay in bed”  
Shiro gave a light laugh, as he rose to stand  
“That’s true. I’ll get everyone organised”  
“Would you mind putting their presents in the drawers? Lance will feel guilty if something happens to them. They’re half under my arse as it is”  
“You’re not going to attack me if I, are you?”  
“My hands are full of Lance. I’m sorry if I growl. I logically know you’re not about to attack him, but these instincts are quiznak. If Allura wanted us to get together she could have at least left instructions”  
“You’ll work it out together. You’re already doing better”  
“We still fight. I think he feels better being able to say one word when his head gets too busy, rather than fighting to find his words and his demons. We had a talk with Coran”

They’d had a talk, but he was rubbish with words still. Actions seemed to work better. As long as he wasn’t acting like a jealous idiot. The plus being that Keith couldn’t get enough of his husband. Shiro would scold him if he knew they were “screwing it out” instead of spending their time talking. He could either tell him, or he could turn him into a melted drooly mess with his hands all over him. They’d had sex dozens of times by now, yet every time he marvelled in the permission his husband gave him. That trust. Lance could have said he’d never have sex again, and he’d agree. He would completely understand that too. Running his fingers across Lance’s hair, he sighed almost contentedly. He wished Lance hadn’t had his panic attack, but now he had his arms full of his husband and he could cuddle the quiznak out of him without habits to share Lance’s attentions.

“Talking is good. Make sure you keep talking. I’ll leave Miriam’s present near your feet. I don’t know if Daehra and Lucteal brought you anything...”  
Right. They still Mami’s present to open... He was simply happy to have her there  
“It’s fine if they didn’t. It’s enough they came. Lance misses them like crazy. I can’t believe mum went and installed a wormhole generator there. It’s hard enough to get him to stay on Daibazaal, now he’s going to want to make the trip back to the outpost at the end of every day”  
“Maybe not every day. If the tour’s too stressful, you could always take a night or two away”  
Keith nodded. Their accommodation, and that of Krolia, was slightly different to everyone else. Unless it was absolutely necessary they’d be returning to Daibazaal nightly. His mother was past 7 months now, and it’d be up to him to protect both her and Lance. His team would simply be staying on the Atlas, which suited Veronica and Acxa just fine. His team of recruits would also be staying on the Atlas, coming with them for “on the job training”. She’d dropped all of this on him, then he’d explained it to Lance who was way too cool about it all  
“Yeah. But you’re the one who has to convince him he has to come back. Once he’s behind his bar, he’s not going to want to leave”  
“You’re his husband. I’m sure you’d be a better job”  
“Kosmo. Kosmo would lure him out. You have no idea how stubborn he is. None. You think you’ve seen him being stubborn, but there’s a whole other level”  
“I don’t want to try an imagine. I better let the others know what’s going on. You’ve got him?”  
Keith kissed his husband’s hair. If they were having a movie afternoon in here, everything would probably end up rearranged anyway  
“Yeah. I’ve got him”

Miriam sat next to them for the movie. Then the second. It was nearly over when Lance woke in his hold. His husband yawning softly, his blue eyes filled with confusion over their positioning as Keith nuzzled his temple. The sofa had been moved back, and Krolia had organised for blankets and cushions to be brought to make things comfortable, with the sofa behind everyone else. Leaning  
“You had a panic attack and passed out. It happened too fast to bring your breathing back under control. You’ve been out for about three vargas, maybe four. We turned it into a movie afternoon”  
“I’m sleepy”  
“I know. Mami’s still here, and everyone else. No one minds. They all know you were happy before the attack”  
“Was... happy. Mami...”  
“You want to talk to Mami?”  
“Hug”  
“She’s right here. Let me move you between us”  
Lance was wiped out from his panic attack. Keith helping him to move off his lap and between them, his mother wrapping her arm around his shoulder as he sought her comfort. Feeling slightly jealous, his heart leapt when Lance sought his hand out, making it clear he wanted cuddles from both of them. Kissing his forehead, his Mami smiled fondly at her youngest  
“I’m sorry, Mami”  
“It’s alright, Mijo. As long as you’re ok”  
“I have a whole new appreciation for what you went through to have us”  
“You children are my pride and joy”  
“‘ love you”  
“I love you, too. I brought you a gift today, from your Abuela. She’s a bit old to understand this pregnancy thing, but she is excited for you and Keith. She’s very fond of Keith. Won’t hear anything against him or you. She lights up when I show her photos of both of you”  
“I miss her. But I can’t... I have to get through this tour”  
“And you will. Keith, can you hand me that present please?”

Passing over the present, Lance insisted on holding his hand while pulling one side of the ribbon and his mother the other. Atop the coloured thing inside the wrapping was two ten-peso notes, Lance snorting wetly  
“One for each of you. But it’s a secret”  
“It always is. Can... I don’t know how to...”  
Keith tried to let go of Lance’s hand but that wasn’t happening. Placing the two notes on the arm of the sofa, Miriam lifted the corner of what proved to be a thick knit checkered blanket in rich red and, a strong yet not polarising, blue  
“I’m sorry, Keith. I wasn’t sure if Red was your favourite colour. Lance has always been blue. This is for both of you. When you unwrap it, you’ll find your present for your twins”  
Keith shook his head  
“It’s amazing. Yeah. I love red”  
“Oh good. I thought as much. Your old jacket was red and I seem to remember seeing you in it. She even fooled the aunties into helping, having a quiet laugh to herself about it”  
Lance looked like he wanted to curl up under it already  
“It’s amazing, Mami. Thank you... you’ll thank her too, right? From me and Keith?”  
“Of course I will. It has been washed and fastened. The red shouldn’t run in the wash”  
“I’m sorry for being...”  
“Uh, uh, uh. You don’t need to apologise to me too. I’m well aware of how emotional pregnancy can be. I’m relieved you woke up while I was still here”  
Settling back against his mother, Lance yawned as his eyes started to close again  
“Me too. I’m really happy you came”  
“Jorge can survive having his dinner a little later than normal. Rachel’s there so she can cook for a change”

There was only a handful of ticks before Lance had fallen back to sleep. Mami folding their present up carefully and retying the ribbon  
“Is it always like this after his attacks?”  
“Not always. This one hit pretty hard. He’s not normally as eloquent, but I find he’s pretty affectionate”  
“That’s good. You’ve been good for him”  
“I try. We’re trying”  
“Relationships are a tricky thing. Most young people think being in love provides eternal happiness. You have to fight for what you love and some times you’ll wonder why you’re even there. I’m lucky with Jorge, our fights drove us apart for some time, but the man wears his heart on his sleeve. Lance is probably most like him out of our brood”  
“He’s a good man. You raised a good son”  
“I’m sure a lot of that has come down to you and you being there for him”  
Keith felt as if Miriam was hinting at their fighting of late. Krolia probably reported everything to her during their gossip sessions  
“We’ve been trying to talk more. And to Coran. Lance says it’s what happens when two people move in together. You have to learn how to adjust”  
“He’s right. Jorge and I had some fierce fights. He’d trek mud from the fields through the house so often I thought of strangling him and burying him in his precious fields”  
“You made it work, though”  
“We did. We have. Now tell me, how’s Veronica been over all of this?”  
“Are you sure you want to know?”  
“She’s very maternal in her love for Lance, he often feels babied by her”  
“He still does. She rearranged the whole baby shower to look how she wanted. She’s also been scaring him with pregnancy mishap stories. Still borns. Sudden infant death? Childhood diseases. He had a breakdown over it. Galra genetics are apparently pretty strong. Still, he didn’t need to be scared like that”  
“She’s good at venting her own fears onto others without realising”  
“And he’s good at blowing everything out of proportion mentally. He can’t control it either... but he never blames his brain injury. Sometimes it gets him down, but he’s trying”  
“His seizures?”  
“Daehra fixed his medication so now he drinks it in the morning. He skipped... he skipped a few days thanks to the attack”  
Miriam nodded, her free hand straightening out Lance’s shirt  
“Thank you for being honest with me. That article was hard to read. We’ve been worried about him. It’s hard being so far away”  
“We still don’t know who contacted the press. It was never verbal, and the signal piggybacked off the Palace. The alien who attacked him was found murdered. The Coalition has us going on tour because things aren’t great with Galra relations. I’m sorry I failed him so badly”  
“You do all you can to be safe. Both of you. I want both of you to come back home”  
“We will”  
“Good. Now, I’ve hassled you enough, still, I have one more question for you, what has been happening in these movies? It may be showing my age, but I can’t make heads or tails of this”  
“You’re not showing your age. I have no idea what’s happening either”  
“Ah, well, I’ll have to ask Pidge on the way home”  
“Really?”  
“No. I’m afraid her explanation will leave me just as confused”  
“Try living with her. I don’t think she was speaking English most of the time”  
Glancing each other, they both covered their smiles as the looked away, not wanting to attract attention to their conversation by laughing too loudly at their combined fear of Pidge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now please prepare to resume normal angst as we time skip two movements in the next chapter. I will say that I also had the next chapter planned the way it is for a while... I’m sorry ahead of time


	41. Chapter 35 : Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m feeling sad, have an update.

Nursing his broken heart, Lance kept his tears inside. After quintants of being paraded around as “The Red Paladin”, with a gruelling roster of 3 days planetside, one-day recovery, then 3 days again, he’d lived through the start of the tour. He’d shut down the things that caused him pain. He shut down the side of him that hurt with each stare or whisper. He shut down the panic that hit each time he was separated from Keith. And foolishly, he’d started secretly looking forward to his birthday after Keith booked them a table at what was supposed to be Daibazaal’s finest restaurant. Quiznak knew they deserved it. Some races were very “handsy”, as in they showed a lot of physical contact with those trusted. Dining had been an experience in itself. The third or fourth planet they’d been to had served them a huge celebrity meal, where they all sat on the floor around the low tables and feasted. With the members of their ruling government interested in getting to know each of them personally, they’d been split up around the table. Two heavy perfumed aliens spending vargas brushing against him repeatedly as he was questioned over he fell pregnant, and how mating customs differed between their races. He hated every tick of it. On another planet they’d insisted they change clothes because “they wanted their guests to be comfortable”. The sheer robes exposed too much of his breasts and belly for him to be completely with the outfit. Keith having the same concerns as he did, for entirely different reasons. He was soon in trouble for keeping his boots on. There was no way in quiznak he was taking them off, but they hadn’t separated from his husband’s side, so they’d jumped in his mental rankings for that. Keith had been especially happy that they got to keep the robes they’d been lent.

Then there was the last planet they’d been on. The one he was supposed to be on. It was arid. Arid. Hot. Sandy. And plain gross when you’re 20 weeks-ish? pregnant and riding in the back of a “camel pulled wagon”. The beasts were massive hulking things, covered in thick fur that served to keep the heat out... and trapped every dead thing on the planet in it by the scent. The back of the wagon was largely uncovered, leaving them melting in the burning heat of twin suns. With his body unable to read the temperature properly, he’d ended up dehydrated with what felt like half the desert down his throat. They’d all ended up in various shades of dehydration. Their thirst going unquenched until they reached the oasis that was their planet’s capital. Daehra and Lucteal may have come from a desert planet, but visiting them didn’t require the long trip through the desert. No that was a nice trip with visit parking right outside. The recruits were allowed to land the pod, they’d take from the oasis back to the Atlas, by the city gates, waiting for them to arrive in relative comfort beneath the shade of the wooden walls. This “desert thing” was some honoured tradition they’d brought back to life after the Galra were defeated. 

Being so busy, Lance found it understandable that Keith would forget his birthday. He hadn’t broached the subject. He hadn’t reminded Keith the night before. The whole morning when they getting ready for the day, he’d said nothing as he waited for Keith to turn it a joke over forgetting. Krolia hadn’t. She was the only one to wish him a happy birthday before the party left to join up with the Atlas. Keith was concerned when he mentioned he wasn’t going with the rest of them, Lance smoothly lying that he needed the rest. It as more something he’d been trying to deny rather than a real lie. He was exhausted. Keith was constantly telling him that he didn’t need to stay for every bit of the talks, but bailing felt rude. Their hours were long,  
Lance barely conscious outside of the hours he had to play Paladin. It’d only take a varga or two for him to start falling asleep. He was pretty sure he’d fallen asleep mid-dinner talks the night before, possibly offending their hosts as he did.

“Lance, we’re ready to see you now”  
There went his last silent prayer that Keith would be there for the scan. He’d already asked reception if it was possible to find out the sex of the twins, wanting to surprise Keith and it was kind of his birthday wish to know. Gathering his jacket, he climbed to his feet slowly, one hand on his bump as he did. Walking over to the nurse, he forced a smile to his lips, which wavered as she tried to make conversation  
“Keith not able to join us today?”  
“Uh, no. He’s in negotiations with a Coalition planet today”  
“Oh, that’s right. You’ve been touring. The children have enjoyed watching your travels. You’ve always been a favourite of theirs”  
“They’re good kids”  
“They miss your visits. Just in here...”  
Reunited with the obstetrician from hell, his doctor was waiting as Lance was shown into the examination room and directed over to the bed. Setting his jacket at the end of the bed, Lance climbed up, laying back and exposing his stomach. He would have preferred to go to Erathus for the scan, had he known he’d be alone. The nurse starting to set the scanner up as Lance tried to get comfortable. Keith was supposed to be here for this. He was supposed to be holding his hand, and standing by his head, waiting to see their children...

“Lance. How you been?”  
Rolling over in his chair, apparently, he didn’t warrant his doctor getting up. Manoeuvring the holopad in his hands, the man looked up at him until he realised he was actually supposed to reply  
“Alright. Stressed. Tired. Sick. The usual”  
“I’ve heard. I heard you were drugged and spent a few days in a pod. It’s reckless to act in such a way while you’re pregnant”  
He was attacked. He didn’t go looking for the damn fight  
“I also see you took it upon yourself to make some modifications to your medication”  
“I couldn’t keep the pills down”  
His doctor shot him a scathing look over his holopad, then continued  
“I also see you’ve developed allergies... you’re clearly still underweight. I assume you haven’t been eating properly?”  
“I have”  
He had too. He’d been making an effort, especially with all the alien food he’d been made to eat. He’d run out of ration bars, but avoiding the things he was allergic too had helped keep his stomach settled. More settled than it had been at any rate  
“Right. Now. Today you want to know the sex? Is Keith aware of this?”  
“Yes. He did want to be here, but negotiations for the Coalition are ongoing”  
If Lance had sounded anymore salty, the universe’s supply of tequila and limes would have been in trouble  
“Very well. I’ll be taking blood samples then we’ll do your scan”  
“Blood samples?”  
“For genetic testing purposes. I assume you wish to know if your children are genetically deformed?”  
“I thought they were fine”  
“They may have been but you’ve been abusing your body”  
Lance clamped his mouth firmly closed, grinding his teeth as he did. Tears prickled in his eyes, but he wasn’t going to give this arsehole the satisfaction of seeing him cry. He just wanted to go home. He should have brought Kosmo with him or messaged Coran. He couldn’t handle being treated like shit by someone who was supposed to be a trained professional. He didn’t even know what he’d done to warrant such a cold attitude.

Blood samples were taken from him and his twins. The needle horrifically long, and Lance didn’t understand why the DNA of his twins couldn’t be processed out of his blood. They could pretty much get a whole genetic profile from a single drop of blood, so why did he have to be stabbed in the stomach twice and put his twins through the pain? When his sample was being taken, the nurse missed the vein, leaving his elbow tender and rushing to bruise. She wasn’t to blame. He’d jumped at the prick against his skin. She’s apologised profusely. It felt as if she was also scared of her bosses bad mood, which made him feel that tiny bit better to know he wasn’t alone. As his doctor went about processing the blood samples to be sent for analysis, the nurse set the scanner and projector up. Casting a quick glance to her boss, to ensure he was busy, she looked back to him and raised a finger to her lips. Pulling the image of the twins up on the screen, she zoomed in for him. They’d grown so much since he’d last seen them. Their tiny chests moving, their heads and noses so well-formed his heart ached. Moving into the spot where Keith should of been, his nurse manipulated the image, whispering to him  
“We’re lucky, we’ve got two very nice clear shots already. Do you still want to know what you’re having?”  
“Yeah...”  
“Baby one, on the left is a little boy. You can see his genitals here...”  
Never in his life had he ever been interested in the genitals of a child. Yet their son... they were having a boy...  
“Wow”  
“It is something, isn’t it?. I’ve sent the photos to be printed so you can collect them from reception on the way out”  
Fuck. He wished he could remember her name so he could thank her properly  
“And baby number two... is also a boy. Congratulations. Both your babies look nice and healthy, a bit big for weeks. You can see here, they’re a healthy 29 centimetres and 27.5 centimetres long. They seem to have suffered no obvious signs of trauma from your attack”  
If Keith was there, he’d make some joke about being relieved because “girls were scary”. Two little boys... that hopefully looked more like his husband than him  
“The pod... they said there was womb damage”  
His nurse moved the image on the screen  
“I can see some light scaring on your uterine wall, hmm... I’m not completely sure. You may want to monitor that further along. Your blood pressure up. Though that may be due to the tour. If possible, maybe see if you can cut back your hours. Exercise is great. Your Earth Yoga will help keep you flexible”

“Now, let’s see what we have here”  
Returning to his roller chair, the nurse moved to hand his doctor the holopad  
“Ah, yes. Two boys. You can tell by their genitalia. Weight and size are unexpectedly good. Heartbeats are strong. Right there you go. Two healthy boys... There is a slight anomaly, I’ll need to review these scans. It’s a shame Keith couldn’t be here for this. I’ll book you in for another scan 5 movements. Your blood work, should I forward that to Daibazaal?”  
“Yeah... I guess?”  
Anomaly? The scar tissue? Couldn’t he say “scar tissue?”. The nurse had. Now he had his worry about with no answer. How could they be healthy and there be an anomaly?  
“Right then. You can go ahead and get organised. Take today easy. I’ll contact Daibazaal in regards to any changes in your medication”  
“Alright. Thank you”

Collecting his jacket and straightening out his clothes, the nurse walked him out the reception. He still hadn’t remembered her name but thanked her nonetheless. Confirming his next appointment, he took the small envelope of prints and headed for the door. His tears forming as he walked. Keith was supposed to be here. He was supposed to be there when they learned what they were having. They’d thrown the idea of finding out around, but he’d just found out. Two tiny boys. Their sons... their twin boys... twins that Keith couldn’t even be there to see. It was his birthday and his husband had forgotten. He’d forgotten their kids... his promise to be there. He couldn’t count the number of promises Keith had been forced to break. So why did he get his hopes up each time that’d it finally be different? Why did it have to fucking hurt so badly? Keith was working. He had to work. The Coalition was filming everything they could of the tour. This wasn’t tour related, hence it’s unimportance to everyone. Their twins weren’t important... 

Emerging outside, Lance was momentarily blinded. Rubbing his watery eyes didn’t ask things better as all it did was reveal Keith and Shiro jogging towards him. He didn’t want to see either of them. Slowing as they reached other, Keith went to hug him, Lance pushing the envelope into chest firmly, so firmly that Keith stumbled back as he grabbed the envelope before it could fall  
“Babe...”  
“They’re boys. They’re both boys”  
Brushing past his husband, his jacket fell from his hold, Lance leaving it where it lay as he continued towards where he’d parked the pod Krolia had lent him for the trip out. Coming up behind him, Keith caught him by the arm, Lance tearing his arm out the hold  
“Don’t fucking touch me”  
“Babe...”  
“Leave me alone, Keith”  
“Hey... what’s going on with you?”  
“With me!? You broke your promise to be there! It’s my birthday, and you couldn’t care less if you tried! My one wish, and you couldn’t be bothered! If you can’t quiznakking understand, Red!”  
Shrieking at his husband, he then turned to continue storming off  
“Lance...”  
Turning on Keith, Lance’s eyes narrowed as he snarled  
“Shut up! I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to see you! Don’t bother coming back to your quarters either. Sleep in your fucking ship for all I care!”  
He did care. He did but he was so fucking hurt. If Keith was going to be late, why hadn’t he or someone from his messaged him? Shiro could have messaged Coran. Anything would have been preferable to the endless and hopeless waiting... He felt so stupid waiting alone. He felt stupid because he’d said a hundred times he didn’t want something done for his birthday, but when it came down to it, it turned out he did. He wanted to be wanted... by Keith. He’d wanted his husband to be the first to wish him a happy birthday. Then for him to be annoying about it as they waited for the scan. He wanted to see Keith’s shocked happiness over the gender... be stupidly happy as they came out the appointment, then spend the rest of the day cuddled up in bed with Keith being an adorable idiot about it all. Now he wanted to go home. He wanted cuddles with Kosmo, and to escape his own stupidity. He wanted his Telula home. To lock himself away where no one would laugh at him for being the lovesick idiot he was.

*  
Lance’s birthday wasn’t going how Keith planned. Mostly because he may have slightly thought it was the following week. He didn’t think it fell mid visit. The tour had been rough on all of them, the continued visits and attempting to follow all the local customs which he only seemed to get a hand of shortly before they’d leave the planet. Lance had been pushing himself so hard to make it through. He’d thrown up a wall between them that Keith thought would fall once Lance adjusted to their new schedule. He’d spent the morning stupidly clueless that it was his husband’s birthday that morning. His room wasn’t like their room at the outpost where Lance crossed off the Earth days that passed. He’d forgotten that his husband had organised the scan for the same day, believing his husband when he said he needed to rest... instead of... No, how could he expect Lance to bring up his own birthday when Keith hadn’t. He’d forgotten right up until Shiro was asking how Lance’s birthday was going. By then, it was too late. They’d already wormholed out to the Atlas, changed ship and made planetfall. Lance didn’t want a fuss made of his birthday as it was. He wanted a quiet day without a celebration. He wanted to go to his scan and then out for dinner in the evening... and Keith has forgotten all of it. He should have known when the recruits came to him the two quintants prior that it was coming up that week. He should have made a note in his comms. Somewhere. Anywhere. He’d fucked this up so badly.

Then... then everything had been messed up further. The planet they were visiting had taken a liking to him. Drinks were brought out with the meal served while they negotiated what the planet needed in aid. Losing track of time hasn’t been planned. They kept filling his cup and he kept drinking without thinking. His absentmindedness leading to him making errors with calculated aid amounts. His mother forced to apologise for him, explaining that Lance had a scan that Keith needed to leave to attend. Shiro offered to fly him, seeing the world had decided to spin as he was way drunker than he thought. By the time they reached the pod, he was already late. He knew Lance had issues with his obstetrician. He also knew he didn’t want the man alone with his husband. His internal angst continuing to grow over the fact he’d forgotten Lance’s birthday... which constantly smacked him in the face no matter how hard he tried to change his train of thought. Shiro's opinion was that he should apologise and talk it out.

Lance wasn’t talking anything out. His husband wouldn’t even look at him properly, then glared at him so coldly Keith felt sick. This wasn’t... He knew Lance would be upset... He’d fucked up. He’d missed Lance’s scan... the scan where he found out they were having twin boys... boys... Lance was carrying their sons... and now he hated him. Burying his face in the jacket his husband had dropped, his body shook. He’d ruined the whole day for both of them. They were having boys... he’d been scared of having a girl. He didn’t know how to look after a girl... now he was having two sons. Not just... not just twins... their sons. They felt somehow even realer. Like they had all that more to lose if something was to go wrong.

Wrapping his arms around him, Shiro rubbed his back  
“He’ll calm down”  
“He shouldn’t have to! I forgot today was his birthday!”  
“You’ve been...”  
“He was off last night. He was off this morning. Even the fucking recruits remembered”  
“You’ve been distracted. Lance made it clear that he didn’t want a fuss. When we get back to Daibazaal, you’ll sit down and you’ll talk to him”  
“He’d having twin boys... I missed his scan again...”  
“Boys...”  
“I missed it, Shiro. I missed the scan. On his birthday... I can’t fix this”  
“You’re still going out to dinner tonight...”  
“He told me to sleep in my ship. He doesn’t want to see me. You heard how upset he was. His obstetrician is horrible. He’s a jerk to him for no reason... He’s sent him into tears before”  
“Why hasn’t he transferred his medical care to Daibazaal?”  
“I think he can’t trust them... he’s suffering as it is. He’s still dealing with so many scents around him”  
“I thought he was doing better with what happened?”  
“That’s because he’s trying. You found it hard too... on Daibazaal. He doesn’t blame all of us for what happened, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scared. Especially after he was attacked. He’s trying... while I’m getting drunk on some planet that means nothing to me”  
“I noticed you were drinking fairly heavily”  
“I didn’t. I mean, my glass was always full... He said he’d leave if I hurt him again, and he stayed last time. What if he doesn’t stay this time?”  
“You’re not going to know unless you talk to him. He’s not going to understand unless you talk to him”  
“I don’t have anything for him... I was going to get flowers... and... and have his ring ready... I was going to be able to tell him what happened... and... I was going to have a nice box for it. To surprise him with over dinner. I wanted to make it special for the right reasons”  
“We can still make it special”  
“No. Because he... he’ll know it was your idea”  
“You’re the one who told me you wanted to buy him flowers. I didn’t know you’d found his wedding ring. I thought it was still missing”

It had been. Right up until the recruits had found it in pawn shop in the city. Listed at an exuberant price due to it being genuine, they’d contacted Kolivan who’d come down to personally retrieve the hair clip. The chain was still coated in Lance’s dry blood, confirming the item against Keith’s matching hair clip  
“Krystaal and Nerlo returned it. Well, they called Kolivan who had it examined then returned to the them so they could return it to me. The recruits were birthday shopping for him. Nerlo is like his biggest fan, so wanted to gift him something from all of them”  
Keith had been confused as quiznak when Krystaal has come up to him. He’d been so wrapped in Lance that he’d neglected his recruits and friends. Fiddling with something near his nape, Krystaal had taken the necklace off and Keith had nearly cried with happiness and shock. Keeping it from Lance had hurt. First he needed to clean it, he wasn’t returning it covered in his husband’s blood, thankfully Lance only wanted to sleep on their day off. He knew how excited he’d be to be reunited with it. Keith had been going to take his own off, but Lance preferred he kept wearing it, so he had.

“And Lance didn’t want a party or any fuss”  
“There’s forgetting your husband’s birthday, and then there’s not making a fuss”  
“Well, we still have time to pick up the flowers and get you a box for the necklace”  
“It’s going to be too little too late. He won’t...”  
“He’ll understand when you explain to him. So you’re having boys? That’s pretty... wow”  
“Quiznak”  
Tearing out of Shiro’s hold, the envelope was slightly soggy and crumpled from where it’d been smooshed against his face  
“It’s fine. We can flatten them back out”  
“I shouldn’t have to flatten them back out!”  
“Keith. You need to calm down. You can’t change the past, but you can make things better for him today”  
“I don’t think it’s going to work”  
“You won’t know if you don’t try. Let’s hit up Earth then I’ll drop you back on Daibazaal”  
Nodding was all he could. What kind of miserable arsehole forgot his husband’s birthday?

*  
Alone in his misery, Lance had resisted the temptation to return to the outpost. Marco would make a fuss about his birthday. He didn’t want to see anyone. He just wanted to cry. So he was. Curled around his fur son, he cried until he’d cried himself to sleep, waking to the sound of someone knocking on the bedroom door with no idea of the time. Growling, Kosmo didn’t want to let him up, licking at the trails of tears on his cheeks  
“‘m ‘k, boy. If it was your father, he would have let himself in”

Kosmo followed him off the bed, Lance’s left hand resting on his head as they shuffled over to the bedroom door. He knew he looked a mess, having changed into his pyjamas before climbing into bed with Kosmo. Hitting the hand reader, the door revealed Hunk on the other side, a small present in his hands  
“Happy birthd-... Lance, what’s wrong?”  
Lance shook his head, wiping under his eyes as he sniffled  
“Hey, man. You didn’t have to come s-see m-me”  
His voice cracked. Hunk hated him... maybe not as much as he had... but they’d barely talked while on tour  
“It’s your birthday. Keith told us you didn’t want a big party. I made you a box of cupcakes. The same recipe as the ones at the baby shower”  
Choking on a sob, Lance took the box as Hunk offered them over  
“They were so good... but why are you doing this for me? I thought you were disgusted with me”  
“I’m not disgusted with you, bro”  
“I announced I was pregnant... and you left...”  
“Didn’t Krolia or Keith explain? I couldn’t serve you raw fish”  
Dabbing at his runny nose with the heel of his palm, Lance sniffled harder  
“I thought you were using it for a cover. I thought you hated me because I’m a freak”  
Choking out his words, Hunk pressed the tips of his fingers together  
“Um... maybe we should sit and talk? You don’t look too good”  
Kosmo growled at Hunk as Lance stepped back to let him in. The day couldn’t possibly get worse  
“Come in. Keith’s not coming back today”  
“He’s not?”  
“No. No. It’s ok. Sorry. I wasn’t expecting company”  
Their room wasn’t messy. No more than normal. Their normal at least. Keith had stopped picking up his clothes as he stripped off at the end of the day. They’d ended up piled up in the corner of the room to be washed, only to they lived there. Kosmo was loving dragging random bits of clothing into his bed when he wasn’t allowed to sleep on theirs.

Sitting on the end of the bed, Kosmo clambered back up behind him, curling up and dropping his head in Lance’s lap with a disgruntled huff. Ruffling the fur between Kosmo’s ears, he huffed again. It was a hard life being so loved and spoilt  
“You wanted to talk?”  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you thought I was disgusted. It was a lot man... and I started realising how far apart we’d really drifted. I’m still confused... but I want to understand. You were my best bud, but I didn’t know what you were going through”  
Now Hunk was getting teary...  
“You weren’t supposed to”  
“Why? I thought we were friends”  
“We were. We were until life happened...”  
“Why didn’t you call?”  
“I did. I called and I messaged until I realised no one was responding, then I gave up. I stopped trying. I only answered the team calls because I didn’t want anyone knowing my business”  
“You could have told us”  
“Told you what? We all have jobs. What was I supposed to say? That I’m sick? That I have a permanent brain injury that causes seizures. I don’t want anyone’s pity. I don’t want you all treating me differently. I’m sick of it”  
“That you could get pregnant. Did you know?”  
“It was a surprise for both of us”  
“You... you don’t think it’s too soon? You and Keith say you're married. You’re suddenly married and you’re having a baby. Is it safe? You’re not going to die because of Keith...”  
Lance felt his top lip curling with offence  
“It’s not suddenly. I’m over 20 weeks. Keith and I have been married for over a year now... carrying his children might kill me, but I don’t care. I can’t get rid of them. I won’t get rid of them”  
Hunk held his hands up  
“That’s not what I meant. I wanted to know how you felt about everything, bro. You always wanted a big wedding, then you eloped. You’re both working such dangerous jobs. Barely seeing each other for phoebs... You ran away, then he ran away, then you were kidnapped and he was kidnapped, then you spent phoebs missing, only it wasn’t phoebs to you, then when you came back you both were in hospital for movements, and it’s a lot, man”

Lance didn’t need a rundown of what happened last year, no matter how fast Hunk rushed through the details. He’d been there. He’d been there and nearly gotten Keith killed over it. Leaning back, he rubbed his swollen stomach as his back complained over the position  
“This is nothing compared to what I’ve been through. I’ve changed. I’m not the same person I used to be. I cut out my own sector of space. I built my outpost from an abandoned outpost and turned into a safe haven. I took a seedy club and turned that into the safest place on Erathus. The pregnancy was a surprise. The fact that we were married, was too. But so what if we’re married? It’s what we wanted”  
“I miss my friend, Lance. My best buddy. I miss game nights and training. You were always there, and now you’re so far away”  
Lance wanted to point out the truth of the matter, that they’d never have what they used to. They weren’t teens sharing a room. They weren’t Paladins trapped with no one else around. He didn’t want to be thrown away again when Hunk got busy. He didn’t want any more conversations where his friends asked Keith how he was doing, despite the fact he was standing right there  
“I can’t be that person again. I don’t know how. I know you’re scared. You’re scared that if we hang out I’m going to have a seizure. If we hang out, there might be some pregnancy complication or I might have a panic attack, that you don’t know how to handle. Until you can figure out how you feel about that, we can’t fix this. I can’t handle fussing. I don’t want fussing. I don’t want you to be constantly on edge around me, or giving me special considerations because I’m damaged. Plenty of people get pregnant. Altean men can get pregnant. No one knows what’s going to happen, even with a “normal” pregnancy”  
“How am I supposed to not worry?”  
“Trust. Faith. Whatever you want to call it. Keith deals with this every day”  
“Isn’t that why you’ve been fighting?”  
“We’ve been fighting because he’s a colossal douche. Because he gets scared and forgets his words. He forgot my birthday. That’s why he won’t be back today. I don’t want to see him”  
“I’m sure he didn’t forget...”  
“He did. He did and he broke his promise. Thank you for the cupcakes, but I think I need to rest. It’s tiring growing two humans”  
The sting of Keith forgetting hurt too much. Hunk was pissing him off. He was acting too concerned and he couldn’t take it. Both he and Hunk couldn’t take it. Lance couldn’t take being fawned over. Being treated as if he was weak. Hunk couldn’t stop treating him with kid-gloves, despite him asking him not to  
“Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure man. You’re welcome. I’ll let you get some rest. They don’t need to be refrigerated... Um... Happy birthday, man... I’ll see you tomorrow”  
“Yeah. I’ll see you then”

The cupcakes were a welcomed treat, Lance waiting until Hunk was gone then opened the box to reveal four perfect cupcakes. Sharing with Kosmo, he’d taken a bite out the first one when he gagged. There was nothing wrong with the cupcake. No. His mind went to what his doctor said about him not eating. About him being underweight. He didn’t know how that was still possible. He ate for the sake of peace. The enjoyment he felt from eating had been stripped away. Some people found it erotic or arousing, but the idea of eating right now was rolling his stomach with disgust. He probably looked like a fat pig guzzling from a trough as he bit into the delicious sweet. Trying to chew, he found he couldn’t swallow. The word “disgusting”, deciding it has to be the fixation of his brain. He was disgusting. He ate wrong and did the wrong thing by his children. Returning the cupcake to the box, he then rushed to the bathroom where he spat out the bite in his mouth. Washing the evidence away, he brushed his teeth until his gums bled. Not that it was hard to make his gums bleed these days. Maybe this was the anomaly? His fat ugly stomach didn’t want him eating anymore because he was already gross... His doctor hadn’t called him disgusting, yet he obviously was. The man hated him. He hated him so much while Lance didn’t know what he’d done. Maybe he’d believed the rumours about him? Maybe he thought the killed Klearo’s child intentionally? That once he was done using him, he didn’t need the baby to secure his position? He shuddered to think of bringing the child into the world. People were quick to point out that the child was innocent in all of this, but he couldn’t separate that maternal love from the constant reminder of being raped. And what about the child? If they were to ever learn their heritage, they’d never be able to make peace with it. They’d always know the sins of their parent. They’d always know they’d be a reminder of that fear and terror. He wasn’t strong enough to love through all of that. Not himself. Not his attacker. Not his innocent child. It hadn’t mattered then anyway. He’d lost it before he’d understood. Was it his selfishness that his doctor hated? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to see him ever again... He didn’t want to see anyone ever again. He wanted the world to stop until he was ready for time to restart when his head wasn’t filled with so much misery.

*  
The lights were off when Keith entered his quarters. Earth had taken slightly longer than he’d planned because every little thing reminded him that Lance wasn’t there with him. He was sure he must have attracted the attention of more than one person as he and Shiro wandered around the shopping centre. He couldn’t stop crying every time he saw something he thought Lance would like. Shiro had stopped him from blowing every GAC in his bank account on a mountain of presents. One heartfelt present meant more than a hundred bought to ease his guilt. Flicking the lights on, his husband was curled up around Kosmo in the middle of their bed. His distress clogging Keith’s nose as he grew closer to the sleeping pair. His steps hesitant, as he grew teary again, nearly panicked over the thought of how to tell Lance how sorry he was.

Sitting on his side of the bed, Lance woke with a start as his weight shifted the blankets. Rolling over, his eyes first widened then narrowed, before filling with tears  
“I don’t want to see you”  
“I know. I want to explain something first, then I’ll leave you alone”  
Turning his back on him, Lance wiggled closer to Kosmo. Dropping his gaze to the dozen red roses in his hands, he took a deep breath before summoning up his courage  
“You’re right. I did forget your birthday was today. I’m not going to use the tour as an excuse, I thought it was next week. I had it all planned. I knew how much today would secretly mean to you. I was going to wake up with you. Be the first to wish you a happy birthday. I was going to have flowers delivered to our room while we were taking a bath. Then we were going to go to your scan. I know you didn’t want a fuss made, so we were going to spend a few hours on Altea in the grass fields above the city, just us. When we came home, I was going to dress up in a suit, because you love that. Then I was going to take you out to dinner and give you your surprise. We... we found your wedding ring. It... I cleaned it up and I was going to have this really nice box... and I was going to slide it across to you at dinner. I wasn’t going to miss your scan... the tick I remembered, I wanted to come back... I made so many mistakes in the meeting today that I kept making it longer because I know I fucked up. I thought about playing the whole day cool, but I couldn’t do that on your birthday. You mean too fucking much to me... it was supposed to be perfect”  
Lance kept him hanging through several very pregnant moments of soul crippling silence. Keith feeling as if he’d been punched in the solar plexus as he struggled to breathe under the heavy silence  
“You didn’t even message me. You didn’t message me when you remembered... or after you figured you were going to be late. I was alone... I... I wanted to have you there... I asked and confirmed that we could find the sexes out because you were supposed to be there. It-it was the one thing I wanted for today... He told me there’s some anomaly. He treated me like shit... and you weren’t there... he said they’re healthy... but how can they be... when something’s wrong. He didn’t think they’d be healthy because I’m a bad parent... I’m too thin and I don’t care... and I work too much and I haven’t been working that much at all... and I’m not even good enough for him not to question why I was there alone”  
Keith was instantly infuriated. He wanted the man’s head on a silver platter and an apology of mammoth proportions  
“Babe...”  
“Just leave me alone... leave me alone. I can’t take hurting any more today”

Placing the flowers on the bedside table, Keith forcibly pulled Lance off of Kosmo, grabbing him by the chin to force him to look at him. His husband looked wrecked. He looked sickly with his puffy red eyes and washed out complexion, both of which came from his prolonged crying  
“You are not a bad parent. He doesn’t see how much work you’ve put into all of this. He doesn’t know how hard it’s been for you. He’s not the one going through this. You are. You’ve been working your arse off to take care of yourself and our twins. He is full of shit and shouldn’t be a practising doctor. Not when he doesn’t treat you with the respect you fucking deserve. I fucked up so badly today I know it. I know it and I know I can’t ever make it up to you. You are doing everything right. You’re eating more. You’ve put on weight. I know you have because I see your body every single day. And it makes me happy to see how much healthier you look. You take your medication and you’ve... you’ve tried so quiznakking hard. I don’t know what this anomaly was, but right now, we can go to the medical wing and get some real fucking answers because not telling you is fucked up and cruel. I will be complaining to Coran about this. You are a great father to our boys. A better father than I have been. Even when you spend vargas at a time throwing up, you don’t break down and cry, you keep moving forward. You are strong, and they’re going to be strong like you”  
“It’s not good enough”  
“It is. It is you know it. You love our boys. You forced down those horrible ration bars when it was the only thing you could eat. You talked to mum to understand your pregnancy better. You stayed in the infirmary when mum insisted you have those allergy tests. You... why can’t you see it?”  
“Because I’m not a doctor. Apparently, none of this matters because I’m still not doing anything right”  
“You don’t know that. Please, babe. Please, let me take you to see a doctor here. Someone who can tell us what’s happening properly. They said you were fine when they dismissed you. If something has happened in the last three movements, we need to know. I won’t risk your health or your mental health over some Altean arsehole”  
Lance started sobbing, Kosmo growling at Keith as he moved to curl back up against his favourite human  
“I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to be alive. I’m so sick... of being forgotten and thrown away”  
“Babe, that’s the depression...”  
“He probably thinks everything in the news was true. That I killed Klearo and his baby when I didn’t have a use for them anymore”  
“Then he can die in a ditch. He’s seen your medical history. He knows you were raped. He has absolutely no right treating you like this. You did nothing wrong. You did not deserve what happened to you. What happened does not change the fact I love you”  
“I don’t know what to do... I... I...”  
“I know. I know today has been horrible for you. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I wasn’t such a horrible husband. This tour... it’s not as important to me as you. I should have realised something major was happening when you said you needed rest. I should have put two and two together”  
“I don’t know if I can... I can’t...”  
“Shhh... you’re going to throw up at this rate. I’ve got you, babe. I’ve got you. Let’s go see the doctor...”  
“I don’t want to see them here... please... I don’t want it getting out... I don’t want to be treated differently”  
“I’m not taking you back to Altea. Not to him”  
“Then take me to Erathus. Set me free... I can’t... I’m still scared”  
Scared of what? It felt like Lance was back at square one. That first time when he’d brought him home after finding out the truth... and set him free of what? Of him? Of them? Or out of his hold? Keith wasn’t sure he wanted to know.  
“Alright. Alright. You don’t need to explain. Whatever you need”  
They could have gone to the outpost. Daehra would have been able to give them all the answers they needed in a heartbeat. She was constantly improving her medical knowledge, especially after everything Coran had set her up with. Yet, that wasn’t what his husband wanted.

Lance was lethargic, Keith dressing him comfortably with very little struggle. He didn’t particularly care if Lance was wandering around in his pyjamas, but the Galactic Media were arseholes, always nosing into their personal life when they didn’t need to be. Falling silent, Lance kept his mouth shut the whole walk to Keith’s ship and out to Erathus. Keith, on the other hand, had to call his mother to inform her that they needed an emergency wormhole out to Erathus, then he needed to call through to Erathus to let them know he was coming, his mother patching him through as he didn’t know the hospital's comm address. Erathus wasn’t filled with fond memories for him, Lance still silent as he hid in the jacket Keith had provided, hands on his stomach and bottom lip bleeding from where he’d chewed it bloody.

Taking a hover-taxi to the hospital, Lance knew where he was going better than Keith did. There was a certain relief to knowing that his husband was still able to process their surrounds, even if he was silent. Following Lance through the halls, he faltered as he reached a sterile white room, labelled with a thin silver sign telling them they were in the right place. Taking Lance’s hand, he led him over to the reception desk, his husband breaking his silence to whimper as Keith explained the situation of what had happened earlier on Altea. The receptionist was wonderful with Lance, getting him both a drink of water and some tissues, before directing them to sit in the office staff room so he could have some privacy as they waited. Their status had got them an appointment amazingly fast, Keith assuring them that a small wait was perfectly fine. Waiting was better than not having an appointment and leaving Lance in limbo over what this “anomaly” could be. He hadn’t exactly explained things to his mother, only that something had come up and they’d needed to leave as soon as possible for the hospital. He’d lied to her. He’d lied when he said that was ok. He wasn’t ok in the slightest. His scent was still rotten and offensive. Harsh to those who didn’t know what it meant, and even harsher on he who did. Sitting cuddled into him, Keith kept nuzzling into his husband’s hair as they waited, one arm holding him close as his other hand rested on Lance’s belly. The word “anomaly” continued to give him no peace. Their twins had to be ok. Their twins had to be ok, and his husband had to be ok. There was no room for negotiations and he wouldn’t accept anything less than the three of them being healthy and safe.

Called through by a female doctor, she was careful and gentle as she directed Lance to lay on the examination table. It occurred to him that once she’d received the request, she’d likely requested his previous records, adjusting her conduct to suit his needs. All this was assumption. It may have been a racial thing too, her yellow skin was something new to him, her hair short almost most like fur, but her eyes were gentle. He took an instant liking to her, despite his stupid instincts. Fussing over his husband, Lance clung to him, head turned towards him rather than focusing on the doctor. With his husband falling mute, Keith explained that an anomaly had been detected earlier that day and that they were both searching for a second opinion on what it was.

There was something even more magical in knowing their twins were boys. He could see two mini-Lance’s in his minds eye. Those big blue eyes, with that soft caramel skin. Part of him was twinged with the wonder of if Lance was excited as him over them being boys. He knew how to be male... but maybe his husband had wanted a girl...? Krolia would have loved a granddaughter... Profession and kind, the obstetrician took her measurements with minor fuss, before enlarging a black spot on the screen  
“I’ve found your anomaly. Here, there’s a small amount of scar tissue close to the placenta. Now, there does seem to be signs of a slight separation, that black dot indicates bleeding. I’m unsure why they wouldn’t simply inform you. Have you been told the risks associated with a placental abruption?”  
Keith nodded. Of course he fucking knew them. Lance had ended up in that stupid pod because of it. Lance wasn’t up to talking, but Keith wasn’t sure that the question wasn’t directed at him  
“I know them”  
“And the signs and symptoms to watch out for?”  
“Premature birth, risk of birth defects, risk during labour, risk of haemorrhage... bleeding. If he’s bleeding he need to be checked”  
The woman smiled at him  
“Good. It’s refreshing to hear that you know the signs and symptoms. You’re a good partner to your husband. Your boys seem to be nice and healthy, a solid 21 weeks by your Earth time provided I’m doing the calculations correctly. You’ll also need to pay attention to what he’d feeling. Pain and foetal distress are also symptoms that you might not notice or see. Especially tenderness in the groin area. Sometimes there may not even be bleeding. I know you’re currently located on Daibazaal, but if you’d prefer, you can transfer his obstetric care to Erathus. Now, he is slightly beneath weight, has his morning sickness been severe?”  
“We found out he’d developed allergies. He’s been doing better now that he’s avoiding what he’s allergic too”  
“That’s perfect. Every pregnancy is different. Some mother feel awful over being able to keep food down, though they try. More than once I’ve seen a mother devastated after being hospitalised. Now, I don’t have your history from your obstetrician, has he given you anything to take?”  
“He takes a few things. For nausea, seizures, depression and folic acid...”  
“That’s a good start. His blood pressure is high, though from how upset he is, I can understand. I also understand you’re currently on tour. I would recommend he spend as much time resting as he can. I also want you to make an appointment in three movements time”  
“I need to talk to Lance about this. His obstetrician on Altea has been less than... the nurses have been great, but...”  
Tugging his hand, Keith leaned down. His husband’s voice was rough, his throat sore from crying  
“I like her better...”  
“So do I. Are you sure?”  
“She’s not an arsehole”  
Keith snorted, Lance was right. The woman had been nothing but kind and professional towards them  
“He likes you”  
The woman laughed softly  
“That’s an excellent start. I’ll go ahead and organise things on my end. As you said, I’m not arsehole, I’m assuming you don’t have a great relationship with your current obstetrician. That’s a shame. This should be an exciting and magical time for both of you. Now, I’ll make you an appointment with me, and if you have any concerns at all, you can call through. I’ll give you the direct line through to my reception. If you do want to explore your options, we have another 4 obstetricians on campus, or I can refer you to a private clinic”  
Lance shook his head. That was a firm no to someone else  
“I think his mind’s made up. Thank you for being honest with us”  
“I find being honest saves a lot of confusion and pain. Now, I need a couple of signatures authorising me to have your files transferred. Payment, etc. I’ll familiarise myself with your files, then I’ll be able to offer you a better plan the next time you come for your appointment. We’re going to get you through this, and you’re both going to be fathers to two beautiful boys”  
“Thank you”  
Lance’s voice was soft, their doctor’s ears twitching at the sound. Keith suspecting she had heightened hearing... not that that meant anything in particular  
“You’re very welcome. Take your time sitting up, don’t rush it if you’re feeling dizzy. Take it slow today. Relax and let your husband take care of you”

*  
For no other reason than that he felt like it, Keith carried Lance back to their quarters from his ship. His husband was still mad at him, but knowing what was happening was a thousand times better than not. Sitting Lance of the edge of their bed, his husband promptly got up and shuffled off to the bathroom while Keith stripped off his jacket and boots, then went about dealing with his comms. He had a new message from his mother, who’d left hanging for the past couple of vargas. Opening the message, she was simply checking in and asking how Lance was doing. Pausing, he wasn’t sure what to say, before deciding that the truth was the best. Explaining that there’d been an anomaly on Lance’s Altea scans and that he’d taken his husband to Erathus, he hoped his mother wouldn’t be too offended. The flight, all though brief, had given him a moment of clarity where he’d realised that Lance was still coming to terms with Galra touching him. Keith could pass, because he looked human. To his scared husband, having someone the size of Sendak touching his pregnant stomach was terrifying, despite the fact they meant him no harm. Lance only ever went along with their examinations because he knew that they were necessary and didn’t want to cause a scene. He working through his trauma, yet there was obviously going to be some hiccups along the way. This was one of them. This was why he didn’t want to transfer his care here. His love was alright with Krolia touching him because of who she was. Because he’d built up that relationship with her. Lance didn’t know the hospital staff. They flicked that “fight or flight” impulse to “flight” each time he was forced to endure their touches against his bare skin.

Returning from the bathroom, Lance moved to sit back next to him. Scrubbing his face tiredly, he let himself slump against him  
“I’m...”  
“Don’t. Don’t say you’re sorry”  
He knew Lance would apologise. He always apologised  
“I am”  
“You don’t need to be. I get it. I get it more than I did before. I’m just sorry today had to go so badly for me to get it”  
“I hate my birthday”  
“I know. I don’t though. I could never hate the day you were born”  
“I feel stupid. I feel... like I haven’t accomplished much of anything. That everything I’ve ever started has always failed. I hate my birthday because it’s just another reminder of how stupid I am”  
“Babe. You’re not stupid”  
“I am. I’m so fucking stupid. I never get it right”  
“That’s not true”  
“It is. It is true! I deserved for you to forget. I don’t deserve to be happy”  
“That’s not true at all. I’m so sorry I forgot”  
“It’s fine... I’m not that important”  
“That’s a load of quiznak. The recruits found your stolen wedding ring because they wanted to get you gift. Mum’s been asking about you. Shiro wanted to have party, but he wanted to respect your wishes...”  
“I haven’t heard from anyone... no one cares. Wait... Hunk came around and I was awful to him. Why was I born Keith? Why can’t I be good and normal?!”  
Hunk’s visit was news to him. He hadn’t suspected that at all  
“You are good. You’re a good person. You aren’t normal, but I’m not normal either. If anyone here is stupid, it’s me. You’re the love of my life and I forgot. I’ve been thinking about this for movements and the day it mattered, I forgot”  
“You had work. It’s more important”  
“No. You’re more important. I spent the day making mistakes because you weren’t there. You’re my strength. My rock. My stability. You always have my back... and I fucking failed you”  
“The tour’s more important”  
“Nothing is more important. Nothing will ever be more important to me, than you. Today’s scan... I was excited for it... I know your obstetrician was an arse, so I wanted to be there. I wanted to make sure you were getting the best possible care through all of this”  
“The... the nurse noticed the scarring. I think she noticed the bleed too... but he called it an anomaly. We’ve come this far... I don’t want to lose them now”  
Keith felt sick to his stomach thinking about the implications of the small bleed. Obviously the pod had healed what it could... but they were supposed to be a magical cure all. Not... not cure most of it...  
“You liked today’s doctor, didn’t you?”  
“She was nice... didn’t make me feel so stupid... and she didn’t make a fuss because I’m a nut job”  
“You’re not a nut job... She’s right. This should be a magical time for both of us. For you. For our boys... I fell in love with them all over again”  
Lance shuddered, his emotions causing his voice to crack. Keith nearly crushing him as he gathered him closer  
“I wanted you to be there so badly. I wanted to find out with you. It hurt so much”  
“I know. I know and I love you... Dios, babe...”  
Lance sniffled  
“Your Spanish is terrible”  
“I want to work on it. I want to learn more about you. I want to understand your family better. I want to understand you better”  
“Me? What about you? You lost so much”

When Keith had lost his father, he felt like he’d lost everything. Shiro has tried his hardest and he’d be eternally grateful to his brother until the day he died... but Lance... Lance was the love of his life. Their stupid rivalry had grown to so much more, more than he’d ever thought it could be  
“And I gained so much more when I met you”  
Keith’s comms chimed from a new message. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with anything or anyone else that day. It most likely his mother anyway  
“You’re not going to answer?”  
“It’s probably mum”  
“Then you should check it”  
“Lance, everything in my life that I need to be prioritising is right here”  
Lance shook his head  
“No. It could be some kind of emergency...”  
“Babe. It can wait”  
“Keith, please. I can’t not have you check. I can’t handle that right now”  
“Alright. Let me just...”  
Lance was squashed against his chest so he could see his comms screen over his husband’s shoulder. The message was from his mother, and somewhat cryptic “Come to this room, and bring both Lance and his wedding ring”. They didn’t need this right now. Even if there’d been some kind of breakthrough with the attack, Lance wasn’t up for people  
“What is it?”  
“Mum wants to see us both. If you’re not up for it, that’s fine. We don’t have to go. I can message her”  
“No. No. Whatever it is, she wouldn’t message us if it wasn’t important”  
“Babe, you’ve met my mother. You know she’s got a varied idea on what’s important”  
“We should still see her. It could be about the tour... or maybe the press has gone and made more stuff up about us”  
He didn’t want to bring up the ring. Lance hadn’t asked for it back...  
“Will you be ok? She told you to rest”  
Lance sniffled loudly, leaning back to wipe his eyes  
“It’s not like I’m running a marathon. It’s Mumma K”  
“You’ll tell me right. Any of those symptoms? If you’re hurting? I don’t want you to risk yourself because you feel like you can’t talk to me”  
“I’m tired... I’m hurt and I’m scared... please stop apologising. I can’t take it anymore”  
“I could apologise for the rest of my life I’ll still be sorry”  
“I can’t take that. I can’t... I don’t want to think about it. We’ll go see mum and see what she wants then go from there”

Krolia had added the location, clicking on the enclosed coordinates had brought up an easy follow map. Keith knew he really should know his way around the palace, but with everything being hues of grey and purple, everything looked the same. Waiting by the door, his mother had Kosmo by her side. Keith hadn’t noticed that he’d disappeared, yet he yipped happily at the sight of them  
“Mum, what’s going on”  
“I’m sorry for calling you out, there’s something special that needs to be discussed. Head on in”  
That wasn’t any help, nor did it explain anything. Opening the door, the room was lit by small lanterns, a single dressed table in the room, with a chair either side. In the middle of the table was a vase of purple flowers, silver cutlery shining against the black table cloth and white plates. Dressed in his chef whites, Hunk had a cloth bent over one arm, and a bottle of something in his hand. Shay stood next to him, a smile on her face. Beside him, Lance had taken half a step back, leaving Keith to pose the question  
“What’s going on?”  
Hunk couldn’t help himself as he rocked back on his heel, confidence wavering for a fraction of a tick  
“After talking with Lance earlier, I thought he might not feel like dining in a fancy restaurant. It seemed like such a shame that you’d miss taking him to dinner, given it’s all you’ve been talking about for last movement”  
Lance gasped softly  
“You have? I didn’t... when?”  
When indeed?  
“After every dinner, we’ve eaten off-world. I don’t think he realised he was. You were so upset earlier... I’m sorry, I asked Krolia if this would be possible. She told me that you and Keith had gone off-world. We thought about setting this up in your quarters, but we didn’t want you to feel ambushed. Now, I’m Hunk and I’ll be your chef, and waiter, tonight. If you’d like to please take a seat, I will pour you both a glass of this fine non-alcoholic sparkling wine”

It fell into place. Why his mother wanted him to bring Lance’s ring, and why they’d been directed to a room he didn’t know. Turning to his husband, Keith didn’t want Lance to feel pressured. There was no way he could take him to their reservation. Lance’s anxieties would stress over everything. Not that that mattered. If Lance had still wanted to go to dinner, Keith would drop everything to take him  
“Babe... Do you maybe want to have dinner with me?”  
“How can I say no? You... why?”  
The question was for Hunk, not him  
“Because you’re still my friend. I want you to still be my friend. Our friend. Now, sit. Tonight let us make you happy”  
“I’m not dressed for dinner”  
“Babe, you’re beautiful. It might not be that fancy restaurant, but we both know Hunk’s cooking is probably better than it anyway. So, do you maybe want to have dinner with me?”  
“I don’t know how much I can eat”  
Any food was better than no food. That was his take away from today’s appointment. That and a whole lot to be scared of... with a dash of hopefulness  
“That’s fine. Absolutely, no pressure. Just two idiot accidental husband’s eating dinner”  
“I think... I think maybe I want to”

Keith had very nearly ruined Lance’s birthday but thanks to their friends, and his nosy mother, he could at least create one good memory for him today. Tomorrow their tour would continue, he’d have to apologise to the planet they’d been visiting. If they couldn’t forgive him for being more worried about his pregnant than their alliance, then he wasn’t sure he wanted to be an alliance with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I’ve always planned to have Keith miss this appointment. Not sure why, but outside of that, none of this was kind of planned. Yep.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All ya’ll ready to hate me? I think you might be. Tbh another scene I already knew was coming is in this one, and the next 2 chapters. Finally the angst train is leaving the station...
> 
> Also.  
I’ve finally edited the first 41 chapters. This chapter will be edited later this afternoon... after work and stuff.

Coming down from his orgasmic high, Lance panted softly as Keith continued chasing his. They weren’t supposed to be having sex, not while they were staying on world for the night, but Keith was a total horn dog for his body. They’d fallen asleep with Keith still buried inside of him, waking in the middle of the night they let going at it without inhibition, napping and... stuff, despite knowing that they needed to be awake early in the coming morning to participate in a festival in their honour. Shiro had warned them there was a two varga trek to the temple where the festival was to be held, their stay extended especially for said festival... that Lance wanted nothing to do with after he heard about the walking part. Krolia hadn’t come with them, she was too close to her due date for Keith to be able to handle it, he’d growled at Kolivan on instinct the previous movement, when Kolivan had growled back, Keith’s anger had flared and they’d nearly made a scene over who loved her more. Instead of actively participating she’d be pickings them up after the festival, annoyed that the two most important males in her life were fighting over her, while simultaneously finding it tearjerkingly sweet. Coming with a grunted moan and stuttering hips, Keith buried himself as deep as possible as he did, his teeth gently clamped onto Lance’s shoulder as he rubbed his belly and pumped his hips despite being stuck. It turned out that when he thought he was fat before, he most definitely wasn’t. Keith could pretty much disappear completely between his legs now, under his stomach when giving him head. He’d felt he was too big for his number of weeks, but now he was big enough that he felt completely uncoordinated from time to time. Keith had made a fuss over it when he’d nearly tripped getting out their bed. Lance banned from bending and doing his own shoes, because his last ultrasound had shown his bleed had gotten slightly bigger, and his husband was nothing if not a worrier. They were supposed to be easing off the whole sex thing too, but the hormones flooding his body were almost like a drug, he was addicted to the way Keith made him feel with the intensity of his orgasms. Releasing his bite, his husband nuzzled at his nape  
“Do you feel that?”  
“Mhmm...”

Both their sons were currently kicking the shit out of him from the inside, either that or spinning flips... whatever it was, they were moving and it was uncomfortably interrupting his high. Keith had felt his first kick through the skin only two or three quintants ago. Laying curled around his stomach as he nuzzled and kissed his bump, Lance had nearly been asleep when Keith had let out a gasp and shook him awake. Whichever twin it’d been played hard to get. Keith making it his mission to stay awake until he felt another kick. Every kick since always stilled his lover. The happiness on the half-Galra’s face was amazing. His sparkling deep purple eyes wide with wonder, soft and sweet lips parted with a smile that made Lance’s stupid heart flutter. He’d been dragged to Shiro and Curtis so the god parents of their boys could feel them kicking, then to Krolia so Keith could show him off again. They’d kept the number of people who knew about the small bleed. Shiro, Curtis, Krolia and Acxa. This wasn’t because Lance didn’t trust Ezor and Zethrid, nor because of his issues with a certain recruit and he was still trying to work things through over how he felt about Hunk, but simply because they were the ones who’d supported him the most. Acxa was informed in case something happened. He didn’t want Veronica panicking over something they couldn’t fix without a surgical approach he wasn’t comfortable with. His obstetrician had mentioned that they did have the tech to go in and isolate the bleed, if he wanted, when she called to let remind him about his upcoming appointment and to confirm she’d received and reviewed his file. He didn’t. Not when he was paranoid over the consequences and afraid of hurting their boys. Acxa was mature enough to recognise that this was something deeply private to him, though not happy about not telling her girlfriend, she respected his wishes.

“It’s amazing”  
Lance let out a sleepy grunt. It was supposed to be a laugh, but he was as drained as the semen splattered across their sheets from his spent dick  
“Don’t be like that”  
“You’re not the one who’s bladder is being used as trampoline”  
“I’m sure it’ll get better”  
Bless Keith and his innocent unpregnant heart. Lance already knew it wasn’t going to get better, he’d damn near wet himself more than once on this tour because everything seemed to go right through. Placing his hand on his husband’s, he suppressed a moan as Keith’s dick jostled, rubbing up against his sweet spot that had been thoroughly abused  
“Mmm. We should sleep. I don’t want to offend everyone here when I can’t walk up to this festival”  
“I haven’t cleaned you up. I can’t pull out either”  
“I’m too sleepy to care right now”

Keith was more comforting than the lush bed they were curled up on. The room was too rich for his liking, trimmed in teals, hot pinks, deep purples and brushed golds. Behind them, a large window filled the whole wall, it’s drapes translucent, annoyingly allowing the morning light to spill in. Far too much morning light for his liking. This planet felt off to him, and had since their arrival. They claimed to be locked in some kind of long term conflict with the other major power there, but there wasn’t any sign of it. Nor was there any sign their economy had been affected. For this, Lance was glad Krolia was only going to be picking them up. He hadn’t shared his suspicions with anyone, not sure if his paranoia was being a douche about everything or not, seeing this wasn’t his natural habitat. He wasn’t used to being in such luxurious surrounds. The palace was enough to make him feel like a leech, yet this opulence of their hosts made him feel like a piece of cow shit stuck to their boots. They’d been nice. They’d showered praise on the heroes of Voltron, yet seemed to be iffy when it came to same sex relationships. Keith couldn’t care less as he kissed him publicly and held his hand. He’d made him scream so loudly that the whole city had to know they were definitely screwing while planet side. Not that is his fault he’d screamed. Keith had buried his face between his legs, using his tongue and fingers to melt his mind. He’d been feeling slightly touch starved after his ultrasound on Erathus as Keith was angsting internally the following day when everything got a bit much for his husband. He was scared he’d would some how caused the bleed to grow with all his lustful ways. It’d been a lonely week with his hand... a lonely day with his hand, really. He couldn’t come without Keith touching him. Trying to masturbate had hurt from not being able to come, resulting in some serious crying, then a minor break down over being unattractive. He didn’t always want to give into his body’s physical need for comfort, he felt dirty for wanting Keith so badly when he was attempting to be respectful, he felt ashamed until it turned into a fight between them... and then into some very appreciative touching. It was also hard because he knew Keith needed that physical touch too. He knew if his husband got too far into his head, he’d second guess every touch between them, out of fear of hurting him. It’d been awkward between them until Keith caught him staring at him at dinner on the last planet they’d been on. The way his husband’s hair fell loosely from his ponytail as he laughed at something silly Shiro had said, had sucker punched him right in the heart. He’d spent the whole night watching. The way his husband expressed so much through his eyes, his lips against the rim of the glass, the way his hand would grab Lance’s thigh when was got excited and wanted to include him more in the conversation. The way Keith leaned back into his touch when he’d feeling more comfortable in his surrounds. He spent the whole evening falling back in love with Keith. He had no idea Keith was watching the same small things adding up, only that he blushed when Keith caught him staring. When they made it back to their room, the mood had felt right and they’d fallen back between the sheets as naturally as ever. Keith had been a little panicked the following morning when all Lance had wanted to do was sleep. Like right now. All he wanted to do right now was pass out and sleep up until the last tick. Nosing at his neck, Keith let out a content sigh  
“I love you, babe”  
“I love you, too”

Shiro had been nominated by their group to wake them. Shaken awake by his brother-in-law shaking Keith, Shiro had nearly copped a blast in the face from the blaster Lance had under his pillow. Keith had been smart enough to cover them with a blanket sometime after he’d fallen asleep. Powering the weapon down, Shiro kept his hands raised in a non-threatening manner. Lance blushing when he realised his breasts were hanging out in front of the man. Covering his eyes with his robotic hand as Lance covered his chest, Shiro waved his other hand towards them  
“Sorry. Sorry. It’s time to go”  
“You couldn’t have called my comms?”  
Keith sounded cranky, Shiro backing away without looking. His brother-in-law was lucky he couldn’t see what was happening under the blankets. Lance nearly felt sorry for whoever had to clean up the mess  
“I tried. Right. Get up and take a shower. I’m going to go be not here... I told you both to sleep... it’s a two varga trek. There’s stairs. There’s stairs and you two couldn’t keep it in your pants for a night. Why am I not surprised...? One night...”  
Shiro continued to mutter as he backed out their room. They probably should have behaved...  
“Don’t worry, babe. If you’re not up to going...”  
Stairs. Quiznakking stairs. His eyes freakin burned from the lack of sleep, his arse throbbed like a bass drum. He was sweaty and gross, and now he had to deal with stairs  
“You’re kidding me right. I can barely move my hips... and there’d going to be stairs”  
“It can’t be too bad, I did you from behind”  
Smacking Keith with the side of his blaster, Lance was forced to remind himself that murdering his husband would be a bad thing   
“One day, I’m going to stick something up your butt, wiggle it around, thrust it in and out, expand it like twice its size and see how you feel about it the following morning”  
“Sounds fun. I think it’d be kind of hot to ride you while you’re pregnant with my twins...”  
Keith’s hand was starting to travel places they didn’t have time for it to travel  
“Nope. No. Don’t even think about it. I will break your hand if we’re not there in time”  
“You’re already hard”  
“And you’re really pushing me into “red” right now”  
Starting to climb off their bed, Lance was grabbed by the shoulders before he could escape. Panicked by the backwards motion, he ended up in a spot that was uncomfortably wet beneath him, fighting his husband’s hold   
“Keith! No! I said no!”  
“Lance. Stop. There’s blood”  
Lance froze instantly, his mind taking a long moment as tried to assess “was he in pain?”, followed by “was he in pain that wasn’t the usual discomfort from Keith’s monster dick wrecking his arse?”. Their twins were moving... wasn’t that a good thing? Or were they trying to send out a tiny S.O.S?  
“Blood”  
Running his tongue up Lance’s shoulder blade, he realised his husband was licking whatever blood was on his skin from the night before. Anger and annoyance flooded through him  
“Get off of me!”  
“Babe...”  
“Let me go!”  
“Hey, whoa. What’s going on?”  
“I thought I was bleeding! You made... I thought you meant down there. Let me go”  
Keith realised what he meant, Lance forced to breathe through his nose when his husband wouldn’t let him go. He’d told his husband “no”, and to “let him go”. Keith knew that he was supposed to do this. Not octopus himself onto him with his full weight against his back  
“Quiznak, no baby. I didn’t see any blood. Only a little from my nails and teeth...”  
Lance shook his head, he needed to shower. He needed to check himself. He had to be sure he wasn’t bleeding  
“Red”  
“Babe?”  
“Bathroom. Alone. Red”  
A very confused Keith let him go, Lance slow and careful as he made his way into the world’s most impractical bathroom, “throwing” himself down to sit on the toilet with as much anger as he could muster. Then he grew angry all over again as he realised what he was going to have to go through once he was done on the toilet. You had to sit in a bath, to have a damn shower. It worked on weight sensors, and the water squirted like a damn fountain you while being completely impractical to someone who was pregnant, or a half normal person who wanted to wash their hair.

Keeping everyone waiting Lance was careful as he checked himself over, delaying Keith getting in to use the bathroom, and hence making them both late. His heart rate was still elevated. His fingers had tingled the taps when he’d brushed his teeth. He wasn’t bleeding down there. He wasn’t too tender outside of the twins movements, his bladder still a damn trampoline. He’d checked the blood thing three times before settling for he wasn’t bleeding down there and mentally decided Keith needed a fucking muzzle, because he way too many hickeys with not all of them feeling that great. He’d have to have a serious word with his husband. He didn’t want to look like some chew toy. He couldn’t wear his bra comfortably from where Keith had bitten his shoulder where the strap sat. The fabric rubbed against the mark making it bleed and hurt, because he needed his damn bra with all the quiznakking stairs, he couldn’t forgo it, leaving him more annoyed with his husband with each passing tick. Keith had only taken a shower and put his Blade armour on after Lance had promised he wasn’t bleeding. With how absolutely sick to death this extended tour was, because it was supposed to be a phoeb and now they were in the middle of the fifth movement, and he wanted to go home but couldn’t until the Coalition stopped being power hungry dicks, he was putting himself in a “Red Time Out”. His was moody and he knew it. He also knew that keeping his mouth closed was the only way he was going to make it through the day.

When they finally joined up with the rest of the group, Lance found all eyes on him. Acxa, Zethrid and Ezor all seemed on edge by his presence, Keith’s recruits also seemed off. Yeah, he probably stank of his... whatever the word to describe what he was feeling was. Anger wasn’t it, but it was, so was so many other things that he started tearing up at the way everyone was looking at him. With Keith having scared the quiznak out of him, poor Curtis found himself singled out as Lance forced him into a hug. Over his shoulder, Curtis shot Shiro a very confused look, Shiro had still been mumbling when he’d returned to boyfriend. Shiro could only shrug as he thought things were fine. Keith looked ready to have a stroke on the spot. Gently returning the hug, Curtis rubbed his back   
“Why don’t you guys go ahead and meet the others with the villagers, and we’ll catch you up?”  
“Are you sure?”  
“I’ve got him. Lance, we’re going to have to a little talk. Is that ok?”  
Nodding and sniffling, his head hurt too much to really object to anything. He felt bad for Keith... but he knew he’d feel worse if he was a moody bitch to his husband.

Staying where they were, the others left to give them some peace. Curtis hushing him until he’d started to calm down. Having been scared, he didn’t fight against Curtis. He wasn’t sure why he’d sought him out  
“They’re gone now. Do you want to tell me what happened?”  
Nodding, he sniffled even louder, a little hiccuppy with his words  
“It’s really p-petty. Keith s-scared me this morning, and I’m f-f-feeling kind of shaken up”  
“Scared you how?”  
“S-said there was blood. I panicked b-because I though he m-meant the twins”  
“Where did he mean?”  
“S-shoulder”  
“Can I see? If it’s bleeding you might need someone to stitch it”  
“Y-yeah...”

Nearly having a tantrum when he couldn’t get his jacket undone, Curtis stepped in. Lance felt like a toddler as he stood there and let the older man take his jacket off. Tugging on the neck of the shirt he was wearing, he exposed his sore and raw bite mark  
“Jesus, Lance. Does that hurt?”  
Sadly he nodded. He knew Keith got self conscious over his Galra side. And it wasn’t every time that he carried away with the biting. His theory was because they weren’t back in Keith’s quarters that he was having trouble with his need to mark him as his  
“I think that’s going to need to be cleaned properly, then checked for infection”  
“It has to wait then. The tour’s more important”  
“You’re obviously exhausted and not feeling well. I promise not to tell anyone, but you need to tell me now, are you safe with Keith? These bites look painful, and happened during sex. He isn’t forcing or pressing you into doing things you don’t want to do, is he?”  
Shaking his head, Lance wiped his eyes  
“No. No. It’s not like that. You know he’s part-Galra, and sometimes he has trouble with that side. He goes crazy wanting to protect me from everything, and it gets too much for him. It’s not done on purpose. Both our instincts have gone crazy over this pregnancy... but he’s not biting to cause me pain or to intentionally hurt me”  
“That’s good, but I’m still worried about this. I know you wanted to be at the festival, but I think today it’s better if you rest”  
“I can’t...”  
“They don’t need to know why you’re not there”  
“The cleaning staff will...”  
“Even if they do, it’s not their business. We’re fulfilling our obligation by being here. You need your rest”  
“What about you? You shouldn’t have to miss out because I’m an idiot”  
“I don’t particularly feel like spending two vargas walking up the side of a great big hill”  
“So you’re playing hooky?”  
“Not if you ask Shiro. I’ll call someone to come pick us up and we’ll head up to the Atlas”  
“Can’t we go to the outpost? Daehra can...”  
He didn’t want Daehra seeing this. Altea was alright, provided he didn’t see his old obstetrician... Erathus could work. Th’al would patch him up and let him crash at the club as long as he needed  
“I’m sorry. Even if you suggested heading back to Daibazaal, I think Taka may have a hard time explaining why you weren’t taken to the Atlas for treatment as a first option”  
“Is there a way we can keep this... from too many people knowing?”  
“Your medical files are private”  
“Not always. Veronica wouldn’t understand what it’s like for Keith. She’d think he was abusing me. I know it looks bad, but it’s not... only on my bra line”  
Curtis sighed at him, Lance felt a compromise coming on  
“I’ll take you back to me and Taka’s quarters, if you promise to let me dress that wound and if you promise to sleep”  
“Do you have a spare room I can use instead?”  
“I know you can’t get into the air vent system like this, but I also imagine Keith and Ta-Shiro would feel better with you in a safe environment”  
“They worry too much”  
“If you really wanted, I’m sure Hunk and Shay...”  
“Nope. No. That’s ok. Yep. Your quarters it is”  
They tried to do “the talk”, but Lance would get “the anxious”, so Keith had to be there to be the buffer between him Hunk. It was as awkward as Lotor had been good looking. Cruelly and unfairly so. He didn’t want to stress Hunk out, or make him hate him by saying something wrong. Hunk had come to their rescue, or rather, Keith’s rescue, by organising an amazingly romantic dinner for two. Lance had decided to start small. A few minutes here and there. Never asking him questions or for help, and never making a fuss or a scene when Hunk accident hurt his feelings. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling about it all, but this wasn’t something he wanted to have a “Hunk Talk” about  
“Good. I’ll message Shiro and let him know. I keep finding it harder and harder not to call him Taka when we’re all hanging out”  
“You have before, and “Tani”, and “Hashi”. We all call him Shiro because he was a higher rank than all of us. If Shiro minded, he would have said. He probably finds it a refresh-ing change”  
Rubbing his stomach, Lance pulled a face mid sentence as he moved the wrong way causing his lower back to protest  
“Maybe I should take you for that scan? If you’re in pain, it’s not something we can afford to ignore”  
The blush in his cheeks didn’t deter Curtis. Curtis was gay. How was he not getting the vibes Lance was putting out?  
“I think I’m going to have to overrule you on this one. I won’t reveal your sores, if you get a scan to make sure that bleed hasn’t grown”  
“It’s not... my hips hurt...”  
Curtis blushed as his lips formed a silent “Oh”, before he recovered   
“Are you sure?”  
Was he sure his hips hurt? Yeah. He was quiznakking sure about that   
“All I need is some sleep and help with that bite”  
“I... fine. I’m not going to... I mean...”  
Flustered Curtis was much like flustered Shiro. It was reassuring that they were both on the same wavelength   
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”  
“You didn’t. I’m... I don’t have a lot of experience with friendship outside of work...”  
“You’re a good friend. I’m not exactly the friendliest of people anymore. So sometimes I say stuff I probably shouldn’t, or spend too much time trying to hint at something... I say the wrong things a lot”  
“No. You should be able to express what you’re feeling and know I’m not going to judge you for it”  
“Dude. I judge me all the time”  
“You shouldn’t. You’re a strong person. A good person. Let’s head up to the Atlas and then we’ll go from there”

*  
Fucking stairs. Keith had had enough of stairs to last him the rest of his lifetime. There was no way last could have been able to keep up with them, let alone kept his balance on the winding staircase up the mountain. There was no way Keith would have let him come either if he’d seen the mammoth trek before them ahead of time. He wasn’t sure if they arguing or not, but it’d hurt to see Lance seek Curtis out for comfort after spending the night reconfirming their love for each other. Having messaged his mother over the ridiculous amount of stairs, and Lance, Keith wore a fierce scowl as they stood looking over the city they’d spent the last few quintants getting to know, and the forest surround it. Lance would have loved the view. He would have loved the orange blue sky that sat far on the horizon. He also would have loved the position for sniping as any enemy would have given up before making it third of the way up the stairs. Pulling up the camera on his comms, he shot a photo for his husband... who he great wished was there with him. During the torturous hike up, he’d turned to crack a joke more than once, only to find that Lance wasn’t by his side. He hated it. He wanted to know what he was up to. He wanted to know that Lance was resting, and that Curtis was being the perfect gentleman over it all. Last night might not have been the best night to stay up indulging in his lover’s body, but his instincts wouldn’t fucking settle. It wasn’t there room. It didn’t smell right. It didn’t feel right. Home was anywhere that Lance was, but home was also not stuck on a planet playing Coalition puppets when the ruling powers seemed to have an issue with him displaying any form of love for his husband publicly.

Braving his bad mood, Shiro wandered over to him, leaning on the railing with a whistle  
“That’s some view”  
“Lance would have loved it”  
“I had a feeling you were thinking about him”  
“He’s my husband. It’s natural I’m thinking about him”  
“Curtis has him sleeping. He’s worried about him”  
Like Keith wasn’t? Lance was incredibly fatigued on the best of days, not to mention the days where they couldn’t seem to keep it in their pants the night before  
“If you’re trying to make me feel better, you’re doing an awful job”  
“He helped dress Lance’s shoulder. Lance insists that you didn’t intentionally hurt him, but I’m concerned by the photo that Curtis sent me”  
Keith’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, his heart giving a sick thump at Shiro’s words  
“What do you mean? And what photo? Does Lance know?”  
“Hold on...”

Pulling up a photo, Keith knew instantly knew it was Lance’s back. He knew ever millimetre of his husband’s perfect body. The photo was of his husband’s right shoulder  
“... you bit him hard enough that it’s become a sore from his bra rubbing. You do realise there’s at least a dozen sores across the tops of shoulders and shoulder blades. This one needed cleaning. He thought it might even need stitching. What’s going on with you? Why are you biting him like this?”  
Keith flushed red. His sex life was being discussed between Curtis, Shiro and Lance... If Lance was unhappy, why couldn’t he talk to him?  
“It’s sex, Shiro”  
“It’s sex with your recovering husband”  
Like he didn’t know Lance’s past. Since Lance fell pregnant they’d had more sex than ever before. He thought Lance liked being marked...  
“You’re really going to have a go at me, aren’t you? Lance likes it when I bite him. He likes it when I mark him. It makes him feel more confident...”  
“Then you need to be the one to tell him no more. That’s on his bra line. I can’t imagine that’s too comfortable”  
Shiro knew far too much about his husband’s bra. Lance didn’t like to show that kind of thing off, even if Keith did find it hot   
“He didn’t say anything... How am I supposed to understand when he doesn’t tell me?”  
He was scared as quiznak of hurting his husband. Sex was supposed to be them reconnecting and showing Lance there was nothing shameful about his body, not him upsetting Lance and leaving him not being able to tell him  
“Maybe he didn’t know how when he knew you haven’t been coping”

Keith thought he was coping quite well with all things considered. Lance had a bleed that might cost them the lives of their twins, as well as his own life. He’d been stuck on this prolonged tour. The Coalition had said a phoeb, which has passed. He’d fulfilled his end of the bargain and was thinking it was past time they went home again. He was also playing mediator between Hunk and Lance, as his husband would over think every interaction between them. Then there these repetitively annoying festivals and celebrations held in their honour. He didn’t see why every planet insisted on it when they weren’t Paladins anymore. They’d all gone their own way, only coming together due to the Coalition’s incompetence when it came to their duty to keep Lance safe. 

“I’m fine, Shiro”  
Raising an eyebrow, Shiro didn’t believe him. The words didn’t sound all that believable as they reached his ears. He was tired. His eyes hurt.   
“Fine. I’m tired and I miss Lance. We have to go to this stupid party when all I want to do is go home. And now I’m mad he didn’t tell me I’d hurt him”  
“I meant in general. I’m not surprised if you haven’t noticed, but you’ve been drinking a lot on this tour”  
“Hardly anything more than you have. Everywhere we go, they keep giving us their version of alcohol. I don’t want to offend them, not when I don’t even want to be here”  
“Keith, I’ve smelt it on you. You don’t say no when they’re pouring you another. You don’t even sip your drinks. Is your anger making you drink more? I want to know that you’re alright. That you’re not getting drunk because everything is too much for you”

Keith has a good mind to throw his brother over the lookouts railing. He wasn’t drinking that much. Maybe he was tipsy once or twice on the tour, but if it’d been too much, Lance would have told him. Despite their fights, Lance was always there for him. Was him drinking rubbing Lance’s face in the past he wanted to forget? His husband worked his bar with no problem, or at least none Keith had seen. He’d cutting his drinking out since finding he was pregnant. Lance only indulging in the very occasional drink and always in his presence. The half-Galra was trying his hardest to be everything everyone needed him to be, so why was in trouble for making the effort? He was stressed. They were all fucking stressed. Kolivan was perhaps the closest to understanding how he was feeling about everything, seeing he was the father of his soon to be sibling.

“Hey... hey, come here”  
Since when was he crying? And why was he letting himself be hugged by his brother in front of everyone? Held close, Shiro rubbed his back  
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m worried for you. You know you can tell me anything, judgement free”  
He didn’t think he felt miserable... if there was no judgment why had Shiro brought it up in the first place   
“There always judgement”  
“Maybe a little. But at the end of the day, you’re my brother. I want you to be able to rely on me. If you’re scared and you want to talk, I’m here for you”  
“We can’t right now, we’re supposed to be at a festival”  
“The festival can wait. The camera team is talking with the royal family at the moment about the event. No one else was game to come close”  
“I’m not that scary”  
“You looked ready to jump the rail and pick a fight with the first thing that crossed your path”  
If Lance was there, he’d know what to do. He’d know how to calm him, he’d cuddle and kiss him, assure him everything was alright and Keith would melt into his touch, because Lance’s touch was his everything. Instead, his husband wasn’t even on the planet thanks to him and his hormones, instincts, whatever it was. He didn’t have a word for how unsettled he felt when Lance wasn’t right beside him  
“I miss him”  
“He’s only been gone a couple of vargas”  
“I know. I know. I shouldn’t be this pathetic about it all, but I...”  
“You’re not coping”  
“Maybe not? I’m sick of the tour. I’m sick of the days I have to leave Lance behind with Kosmo because he’s physically not up to coming. I’m sick of smiling at people I won’t remember and don’t even like. I didn’t know I was hurting him, I don’t even know why I was hurting him. He’s already got enough to worry about. He’s being so brave about the bleed. He’s being so brave about everything. Sometimes it’s like he can forget. He lets himself the enjoy the moment... and he’s so fucking beautiful when he does. Then there’s other times I can smell his panic and I want to tear everyone in the room apart for upsetting him. I don’t understand this. I can’t be a father like this. If I can’t keep my head before the twins are born, how am I supposed to help Lance raise them? How am I supposed to be a good father, husband, brother and son, all at once. I know something has to give. How do I retire from the Coalition after all this publicity? Lance and I are being paraded as this hugely famous couple, and it all feels like one big trap to keep us under their thumbs. I promise myself over and over I won’t let him down again, then I do, then I’m mad and he always forgives me. I don’t know if he should be forgiving me. I don’t know if he’s forgiving me because I deserve it or because he doesn’t want me upset. It feels like I’m running out of time. At his next scan I want to ask when’s the safest date for him the caesarean because I’m scared he’s going to have a bleed and fucking die... we haven’t even... we decided it’d have to be a caesarean and that’s as far as we got. He can’t go to Altea. He’s still fucking scared of Galra touching him when he’s naked, so Daibazaal’s out. Someone fucking attacked him and could go after our twins, and we have no idea who it was. I want to be good for him. I want to support him, but I don’t know if I can be father. I love them, but I love him more. What if I can’t love them like they deserve? What if Lance and I can’t make it work? We wanted to save our marriage before we found he was pregnant. I mean, I thought things were ok between us. I didn’t realise how fast time had passed and how long I’d left him suffering”  
His fatigued state was channeling his husband’s “sleepy rambling mode”. He didn’t even know he felt that way about most things until it came out in a huge pile of word vomit on Shiro’s shoulder. If Lance had been there, he would have been able to remain strong.

“Have you talked to anyone about how you’re feeling? Anyone other than Lance?”  
“You?”  
Shiro shook his head  
“Other than Lance, Krolia and I. You were talking to a therapist on Altea, I seem to remember”  
“I haven’t had time. When I’m alone with Lance, I want to make the most of that time. He insists on working for our bed. I think he’s talked to Coran a couple of times. I think I’ve talked with him once after the scan... I was going to campaign for his old obstetrician to be fired, but Lance told me I was too aggressive and that it had to be handled carefully... but that’s another thing, he keeps forgetting things. I don’t know what he remembers. I think he gets self conscious about it, so I let him play it off, but it worries me. I know he has a bleed, but what if he’s bleeding on the brain again? What if his meds are making that worse? Like they’re masking the symptoms of something more going on?”  
“He’s got baby brain, plus the added stress of the tour. Curtis is keeping an eye on him, and I know you don’t think it’s as good as you being there, but he’s not alone. He’s on the Atlas, the best place he can be right now if something was to happen. I’m more concerned about you”  
“I’ll be fine, Shiro. Once this tour finally comes to an end... once Lance and I are finally free of it, things will be better”  
“We have a therapist on the Atlas. If you need someone else to talk to, I can take you to see them. This drinking isn’t healthy. I’ll try to talk to Coalition about ending your commitments with the tour. You’ve put in more than enough time. You and Lance need to rest and really figure this out before your sons are born”  
“He won’t want to walk away from this. Not if the tour isn’t coming to an official close”  
“If he won’t then I’ll talk to him. I think you both need to take the break. You’ve been conducting humanitarian work, but nothing like this since shortly after the liberation of Earth. For both your sakes, I want to take you out the rotation”  
“Are you saying I wasn’t good enough?”  
“No. I’m saying you need to take a step back. Take a break. If our positions were replaced, you’d be saying the same thing to me”  
“How can I? Mum’s going to be giving birth soon. I need to step up”  
“You need to let your friends support you. Patience yields focus. You’re so stressed out, you’re failing to see the big picture”  
“Which is?”

The hug ended, Shiro staring at him with such sincerity that he felt uncomfortable   
“Lance is not in the same circumstance as he was before. He’s no longer as isolated as he was. You’re not in the same circumstance as before, you’re no longer responsible for your recruits. We’re all responsible for them now. Krolia has Kolivan. She had Kolivan who’s going to be there for her and your sibling. We only get through things when we work together and rely on each other. I love you, Keith. You’re my brother. You are not being selfish by taking time off work again. You two have been working hard for phoebs”  
“We haven’t though. We went to Allura Day, then into the accident... then he was attacked... I haven’t taken any of my recruits through any training exercises since the accident. The only training I get is working out if I wake up too early, or Lance has a panic attack and attacks me... but it wasn’t like we were doing a great deal at the Palace”  
“In other words, you were taking care of your husband because this pregnancy has been hard for him. Your priorities have been ensuring that your husband is safe, and well”  
“I shouldn’t have to ensure it though. Lance should be safe in my quarters. I should be able to go to work and know he’s not going to be attacked”

That was another reason felt he needed to step up. His mother had enough worries, as did his team, seeing most of his time was eaten up by Lance. He’d practically been benched, letting down Acxa, Zethrid and Ezor. He hadn’t spoken to the recruits much either on the tour. Publicity stuff here and there, and Krystaal had checked in with him to make sure that Lance’s ring had been returned. They’d been lucky that ring hadn’t been sold to a private collector, or creepy Paladin enthusiast. From what he understood, Kolivan had given the second hand dealer the scare of his life over not reporting that it’d turned up there. How it had was also a mystery. An alien not of Galra origins had sold it to him. But with the use of shape shifting technology, anyone could have been responsible, more than likely it was the actual perpetrator that had sold the ring seeing no traces of them had been found since.

“If you need a break, or some time to think, Curtis and I would be happy to stay with Lance. That way you could call your counsellor. Maybe take a walk? Clear your head?”  
Keith growled. If Shiro understood their colour system, he’d be so far into “red” that he was pushing “black”, anger flared in his tone  
“He’s not a burden! I don’t need someone taking him away from me”  
“I’m not saying that he is. I’m saying that if you’re scared of him being alone, we can make sure he isn’t”  
“First I’m an alcoholic who’s abusing his husband, now I’m not fit to look after him?!”  
“Keith, stop putting words in my mouth”  
“Its what you’re saying though”  
“No. I’m trying to reach out to you”  
“I know how to look after my husband”  
“I’m not saying you don’t. You’ve done a wonderful job with him”  
“He’s not a job”  
“No, but he needed someone to reach out and take his hand. You helped him get back on his feet. You’ve been there for it all. I’m not saying Lance was hard work, but it wasn’t easy helping him through his recovery either. You’ve both had to work hard to come this far. You don’t have to...”  
“I’m sorry, Shiro. I can’t have his conversation with you. Lance is my world. You have no idea when it comes to the shit we’ve had to go through to get him off the drugs and alcohol. You haven’t been with him through seizures so severe he loses total control of his body. You haven’t had to wrestle him away from pills or from knives because he wants to die. You haven’t held him as he screams and begs you to kill him. You weren’t there when he was so afraid of touch that he’d vomit. He’s so messed up, but he’s so strong. But if he lost our twins he’d lose his mind. The twins are what have saved him. Have stopped him relapsing on the drugs. Have stopped him trying to hurt himself when he’s conscious. So I need to be there by his side to make sure nothing happens. I need to make sure that I don’t lose my husband”  
“And you think we don’t care? That Curtis or I wouldn’t drop everything to help him?”  
“Like how you prioritised placing me in the pod, and nearly cost Lance his life”

Keith knew the instant the words left his mouth that he’d crossed the line. The colour drained from Shiro’s face as his expression filled with guilt  
“Shiro, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that”  
“It’s fine. It’s true. That’s when I promised myself that I wouldn’t let him get hurt again. I care about both of you. Don’t forget that”  
His brother turned, starting to walk away  
“Shiro”  
“It’s fine, Keith. We have a party to attend”  
Fuck. He’d quiznakked that right up. Out of all the dumb things he could have said, he had to go there... Fuck. He was a quiznakking idiot.

*  
Finding any joy in the festival was a task and a half. Keith was skirting the edge of the crowd, provided that hiding on one of the numerous temple’s balconies above the festivities was skirting the edge of the crowd. From his vantage point, he could see the whole party laid out before him. Shiro and Hunk we’re discussing something near the banquet table. Acxa was happily holding Veronica’s side as they chatted with Zethrid, Ezor, Nerlo and Melda. Regetta, Legre and Samelia were with the Coalition members as their protection, which hardly seemed needed with how happy everyone on the lower level seemed to be. To Keith it all seemed like one big act. His own mood may have been clouding his judgement, especially after his argument with Shiro. That and his headache. Having got himself a drink before heading off to find somewhere to quietly sulk, he’d proven Shiro right. There were plenty of resume refreshments on offer, yet the glass he’d grabbed was something alcoholic. He hadn’t thought anything of it when he picked the glass up... How was he supposed to know until he tasted it if it was alcoholic or not? Then what was he supposed to do with the sipped drinking he couldn’t drink it? His brother had made him stupidly paranoid, with the contents of the glass winding up poured into the first potted plant he found.

“Finally. You took forever to find. Do you know how many rooms and balconies this place has?”  
And there was Krystaal, no wonder he hadn’t spotted him in the crowd below. Turning to face his friend, Keith leaned back against the balcony railing. Since Lance had declared he had a crush on his friend, Keith had taken the appropriate action of avoiding him as much as possible so his husband wouldn’t be upset. Sure, Lance had apologised for blowing up over it, and Keith knew he wasn’t the kind of man who’d hold a grudge him for talking to his friend, yet it’d been a long process for him to come to the realisation that he’d felt the same way over Lucteal being near his husband. Lucteal has harboured something pretty serious over Lance, though Lance didn’t reciprocate his feelings and that’s where the two comparisons split completely. He likes hanging out with Krystaal, it’d always been fun. It’d always been easy. Whether it was training or shooting stuff together, it’d been a good time. He liked him as a person, maybe even admired him a little... and shown off in front of his friend simply so he’d like him more. Not that he’d tell Lance that. He wasn’t good with friendships so making a new friend was a thing for him. He didn’t want the mood between them to be bad. He cared about Krystaal’s thoughts and opinions. They had the same kind of humour and both wanted what was best for the Galra empire now that peace had finally been ushered in. He couldn’t very well tell Krystaal to leave, he’d gone to the effort of finding him in the massive temple. He’d sought him out. No one else had.

“You know how I feel about crowds”  
“Yeah. Here, I brought you a drink. You’ve been off since this morning”  
Walking over to the stone bench in the middle of the balcony, Krystaal sat holding out a glass of something towards him. Pushing off the railing with a light sigh, Keith moved over to take the drink from him friend before sinking down next to him with a groan. Nudging him with his elbow, Krystaal eyed him over the rim of his glass  
“You look like quiznak”  
Snorting, Keith then took a sip of his drink. It was the same stuff he’d tipped out not that long ago, but it didn’t seem polite to decline it   
“Thanks. Just what everyone wants to hear”  
“Just calling it how it is. Where’s Lance? I saw him leaving with Curtis. Did something happen?”  
“No. Not really. He wasn’t feeling well so he’s sleeping it off on the Atlas”  
“And that’s why you’re in such a bad mood?”  
“Part of it. I thought parties were you kind of scene?”  
“It’s not much fun when you’re not down there glaring at everyone”  
This right here was why they got on so well. All his recruits had taken jabs at him over his lack of people skills. Krystaal was simply blunter then them. He didn’t worship the ground he walked on  
“Ha ha. You’re not funny”  
“I’m pretty funny. Still, I’m glad you’re not upset because you and Lance are fighting again”  
“We don’t fight that much”  
“Sometimes. Most of the time you bicker like you can’t stand each other”  
Keith frowned. Bickering was there thing. On of the planets they’d visited they’d spent a good half varga bickering if a cloud looked more like Slav or a Weblum. Their bickering, no matter how “enthusiastic” it became, never meant they couldn’t stand each other   
“No we don’t”  
“You do. You’ve changed since he came to stay with us. You’ve lost some of your rough edges”  
“He’s good for me”  
“Tell that to belly you’re getting from your lack of training. I bet I could lay you out, old man”  
“Don’t come crying to me when I flatten that face you’re so proud of”  
“Oooooh. I’m terrified. Better call Shiro and tell him you’re bullying me”  
Keith’s lips had been twinging at the approach of something like a smile, now his frown was back as he stared down into his drink. Noticing, Krystaal nudged him again  
“Hey, what’s wrong?”  
“Nothing”  
“You had a fight with him earlier, didn’t you?”  
“You saw that?”  
“We all saw that. What’d he say?”  
“He’s just being a concerned brother. Said I’m drinking too much and he’s worried about Lance”  
“The old man doesn’t know how to party. And wouldn’t he know if something was up with Lance? They’re super tight, right? He’s always off talking to him, or picking him, or taking him to and from hospital”  
“Well, he is the Godfather of our twins. Him and his boyfriend, Curtis. This pregnancy has been hard on Lance”  
“It’s been hard on you too. You never come hang out with us anymore”  
Because he was busy avoiding Krystaal... and busy with Lance. His husband needed so much of his time  
“At least this is the last planet of the tour”  
“You’ve gone senile with all your domestic affairs. They want us on another planet next movement”  
Keith gave a slight shake of his head  
“Shiro’s going to arrange for Lance and I to sit out any more of it. The stress isn’t good for him or the twins. I’m thinking of taking a break from Daibazaal until mum gives birth”  
Raising his glass again, Keith drained it. One drink wasn’t going to hurt him  
“No way. Seriously? It wouldn’t be the same without you”  
“Right. I’m pretty sure Acxa has the glaring thing down to a fine art”  
“Nah. It’s you. That’s who everyone comes to see. You’re everyone’s hero. The half-Galra who brought Zarkon, Lotor and Honerva to an end. Mister Big Brave Black Paladin”  
Keith snorted  
“That’s not me. As Lance. I’m a total idiot”  
“Why would you say that?”  
“Because I’m forever letting him down”  
“That’s one person. What about us? You haven’t let us down”  
“You all nearly died on a training mission I was supervising. That’s a pretty big fail”  
“That wasn’t your fault”  
“I’ve neglected my duties in training you”  
“You’ve been busy with other things”  
“I let Lance be hurt. No one could ever mean as much to me as he does”  
“He forgave you, didn’t he?”  
“He shouldn’t have to be. They don’t warn you that falling in love with someone is so hard. He’s been through so much...”  
“You have too”  
“Nothing compared to him”  
“Don’t compare your pain to his. Everyone feels pain differently”

Looking to his friend, Keith sighed. He really did look far too much like Lotor for nice words to be falling out that mouth of his. Smiling as he tilted his head, Krystaal poked his tongue out, Keith laughing at the gesture  
“Fuck. Did I ever tell you much you look like Lotor?”  
“Once or twice. I bet he didn’t go around poking his tongue out though”  
“No. That’s more Lance. He has the cutest wrinkles when he does... Not that he’s been that happy with me lately. It’s my fault really. He puts up with so much because of me”  
There was a moments pause, then Keith found Krystaal’s lips pressing against his. His mind shorting out resulting in it taking a tick or two to shove Krystaal back  
“What the fuck was that!?”  
“I. I don’t know! I’m sorry! You looked so sad! I’m sorry”  
“So you kissed me!?”  
“I didn’t mean to!”  
Rubbing at his lips, he could feel the trace warmth of Krystaal’s kiss upon them. His heart was racing with confusion. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss Krystaal or if he wanted to burst into tears, his eyes were on the other man’s lips...  
“I’m married”  
“I said I’m sorry. You looked sad and I don’t know... you didn’t sound happy”  
“I am happy. Lance makes me happy. I can’t believe this. He said you liked me. He said it and I laughed at him. He even thought... he... How am I...”  
Holy fuck... holy fuck he’d cheated on Lance. His pregnant husband was sleeping off fooling around with him all night and here he was kissing someone else. How was he going to tell him!? Krystaal kissed him. Actually kissed him. Pushed his lips against his in something that was not a friendly or family kind of peck on the lips...  
“I won’t tell anyone. I won’t. Just say something”  
“This can never happen again. You can’t go around kissing me! I’m married. I’m married to Lance. We were going to work out a due date for the birth of our boys. This is going to break him. How could you do this to me!?”  
“Me?! You were the one who was looking at me like that... You’re still looking at me like that!”  
“Like what?!”  
“Like you wanted that kiss too! You’ve always given me that look when we’re hanging out... I thought we were close then...”

Keith growled. Before Krystaal could react, he’d shoved him off the bench. Staring up at him from the stone floor, the glass he’d been holding was broken, Krystaal’s hand bleeding as he bit his bottom lip. Fuck. Even his expressions were like so Lance like. He’d often felt that Krystaal and Lance were similar, and that they’d be good friends if Lance’s anxiety wasn’t so horrible to him... was he... was he attracted to Krystaal? Or the Lance in Krystaal? He hadn’t felt the burning heat he felt with Lance... but he’d felt the warmth of the kiss on his lips and though shocked, he’d made wanted too... No. It was a simple biological reaction... he wasn’t hard... or anything approaching much more than a small twitch... fuck... Fuck. This couldn’t be happening...   
“I love my husband. I didn’t... I don’t want to kiss you. I consider you a good friend. One of the best friends I’ve made since living on Daibazaal. But right now, you need to get out of my face before I lose it at you. You have no idea how hard Lance and I have been working on our marriage. I’m sorry, but I don’t return any feelings that you have for me”

There were times when Keith lost himself, afraid of what he’d see in the mirror he’d avoiding them. The look on Krystaal’s face was like nothing he’d thought possible. It was the closest to how he felt he looked when he momentarily lost himself. Pure rage? had distorted his features, his eyes bold yellow as he growled. For something that was supposed to be a misunderstanding, Krystaal didn’t make sense to him. His words didn’t make sense to him. He thought he wanted to kiss him? This was their first time hanging out properly in ages. They’d barely talked over Lance’s ring being returned. He’d told them how grateful he was. Krystaal had been wearing it around his neck... Lance’s wedding ring... Suddenly Lance’s suspicions didn’t seem so ridiculous. This person was supposed to be his friend. Who did this to a friend? He felt unsettled and calm at the same time, he’d cheated on Lance. He’d done the one thing he’d yelled at his husband for more than once, only Lance hadn’t cheated on him. Moving to open up his comms, Krystaal flinched at his movement’s   
“You have until Shiro arrives to disappear from my sight. He loves Lance. If he hears what happened, he will make it his personal mission to ruin your life. Regardless or not if you meant it”

Krystaal gathered himself up, clutching at his bleeding hand. With an angry growl, he started staggering towards the walkway that looped the whole second floor of the temple, finding his feet, he was walk-jogging by the time he disappeared from Keith’s sight. Shiro was going to be so fucking disappointed in him. Hitting video call, he was afraid. Afraid of what came next, and that his brother would brush him off. With Krystaal out of his sight, his knees gave out, landing hard against the stone floor as Shiro picked up  
“Keith?”  
“I... I fucked up... I need you to come to me”  
Lance. How was he going to tell Lance?  
“Whoa. Ok. Ok, don’t move. I’ll be right there”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always knew I kinda wanted this to happen. I was previously gonna have Lance walk in mid-kiss, drop his plate and collapse on the spot. So look at me looking out for my boy...
> 
> I also want to make it very clear that having a kiss forced on you isn’t cheating. Keith might have been unsure where Krystaal sat in his friends group, and he may have had a small thing for him, and his body may have reacted despite him not wanting it to, but Krystaal is in the wrong here. We all know our awkward boy is awkward. 
> 
> I’ve been thinking about how miserable this fic is without the fluffy bits... and we’re gonna have some flash backs before the end. I’m also trying to decide on how it’s gonna end and when... as ya’ll know I loathe time skips. This was my time skip chapter but the I went back filled. I shoulda just wrote the planet chapters from the start but didn’t wanna bore you all.
> 
> Anyways. Thanks for sticking with me and my socially awkward arse xx


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gargh I’m so sorry this chapter took sooooooo long. I haven’t even had the chance to edit or the previous one. I’m sorry!!!

Sitting with his back against the balcony railing, Keith had his face buried between this knees, fingers interlaced as his hands rested on the back of his head. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to brush his teeth until he scrubbed his mind clean. Krystaal had to know he wasn’t in a good mood. He’d mentioned it. It was more like he’d gone out of is way too mention it. For the second time that day, he was showing the world another one of his bad sides. Being blindsided by Shiro before the festival had started had sent everything snowballing. His attempt to put space between himself and everyone else had backfired. The privacy of the balcony turning into the perfect place for an unwanted kiss. When Shiro finally found him, his brother was slightly breathless. Rushing to him, Shiro knelt before him, placing his hands on his shoulders so carefully that Keith was sickened. He didn’t deserve his brother being kind. He’d kissed Krystaal. Every good memory that they’d made along the way during the tour was now tarnished. Lance was be doubting every day he spent resting. He’d doing the sincerity in the messages they’d sent back and forth when they couldn’t be by each other’s side. He’d doubt the sunsets they’d seen on the days where negotiations had run late. The small little moments in the pod as they travelled where Lance would lean into his touch, nuzzling him as he mumbled how much he loved him. They’d started making sure that even if they were cranky with each other that they’d always tell each other that they loved them. He’d doubt the times when thy had fun. The times when Keith would stare at him, falling in love all over. The times when his husband would drive him up the wall over the stupidest of things. Their love and the pregnancy. All of it ruined by a stupid kiss. Raising his head, Shiro was blurred by his tears.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Why is there blood and broken glass? Are you hurt?”  
God. Did his brother have to sound so worried? He didn’t deserve it   
“I-I cheated on Lance”  
Shiro fell back onto his arse, his human hand coming off Keith’s shoulder as his robotic hand gripped tighter. Saying the words felt like swallowing Coran’s cooking. The stuck and choked up his throat  
“What do you mean you cheated on Lance!?”  
Anger. Shiro’s tone was so angry that his voice was level  
“I fucked up. I fucked up so badly. He’s up there on the Atlas because of me and I’m down here and I... He’s never going to forgive me”  
“Keith. Tell me exactly what happened”  
It was too shameful. He took a tick too long to start talking, Shiro shaking him by the shoulder   
“What did you do?”  
“Krystaal... he kissed me. I can’t believe I cheated on Lance... I’ve ruined everything”  
“Keith, this is very important. Did you kiss him, or did he kiss you?”  
“He kissed me. We were talking. I was talking about how cute Lance is... and he kissed me...”  
Shiro let out a long breath, his hold loosening   
“Did you kiss him back?”  
“No! I didn’t know what was happening. I pushed him away... I love Lance. But if I wasn’t already committed to him... maybe I would have... I don’t know... I don’t know”

Crossing his legs, Shiro took his hands in his. His thumbs gently rubbing the back of Keith’s hands as he let out a sigh   
“I can’t say I’m not surprised, but if he kissed you, then you didn’t cheat on Lance”  
How was this not a surprise? He loved Lance. Everyone knew he loved Lance. It’d pretty much been slapped across every kind of media there was, with photos and videos from the tour   
“What? What do you mean? I kissed someone else”  
“I mean he kissed you. You didn’t initiate the action. You pushed him off”  
“But it still happened and why aren’t you surprised?”  
“Honestly. Lance first mentioned the idea to me back around Allura day. He wanted you to be happy. To have a friend, but he was worried he wasn’t good enough for you anymore. You were always talking about Krystaal. You hid the fact that Krystaal was good looking and male from him. You lost your cool and went drinking with him. You were constantly messaging him when you were at the outpost. I thought because of how long you’d been separated that he might be being paranoid. He didn’t want to chain you down or hold you back if you decided you liked Krystaal better than him. Then I saw the two of you together. It bordered on flirting. You’re not great with social interactions, and I’m not sure that you meant to flirt, but I could still see there was something there. Then everything that happened happened. I heard Krystaal helped bust you out, and thought maybe I had been seeing things. When you were recovering, he was frequently hanging out on your bed, next to you, constantly in your attentions. But you were with Lance. You’ve been with Lance. I thought it’d all passed”  
“I didn’t mean to... I... I liked him. I liked hanging out with him. He was fun and so much Lance... Maybe I was attracted to the Lance I see in him? Shiro, what have I done?”  
“Did you tell him how you felt?”  
“I told him I don’t like him that. But I thought we were friends. He said he didn’t mean to. Then he said he kissed me because I looked so sad. Then he said I’ve been looking at him like I’ve wanted to for a while. He... he was so angry at me. I trusted him. I had fun when I was with him. He’s a good officer... and he kissed me. His lips were warm... but they weren’t Lance’s lips. He’s going to be so hurt. I have to tell him. I have to tell him about this. If someone... if someone saw, he’d be broken hearted. We’re so close to the end... 3 more phoebes and we’ll be parents... I’ve ruined everything. He was wearing Lance’s ring. He was wearing it when he returned it. I feel sick thinking... what if he did hurt him?”  
“His where abouts were confirmed during the attack. He was seen in the crowd. We have confirmation of that”  
“But... there was more. This all dates back to Altea...”  
“I thought you didn’t believe Lance got those photos”  
“I didn’t. But after he was attacked on Daibazaal how could I not. I told him to trust his gut... and when he did, I told him he was wrong. Things... the tours been one stress after another... but there were times when he was his old self. Before he was raped. Before Kre’el and her bunch got to him. Before Allura kicked him to curb and broke his heart. He was... he was happy and I’ve ruined it”  
“You didn’t kiss Krystaal. He kissed you. You could have kissed him back. You could have hidden all of this. You probably could have made out with him and no one would ever know. But you didn’t”  
“He thinks I led him on”  
“If he thinks that then he doesn’t know you at all. You love Lance”  
“Then why did I hide so many things from him? Why wasn’t I honest about who Krystaal was from the start? Everyone in the palace likes and trusts him. Mum likes and trusts him”  
“Look, I think you need to go see Lance. Curtis messaged me to say that Krolia had rendezvoused with the Atlas”  
“The festival...”  
“Will go on. I’ll have someone discretely check on Krystaal. Did you hit him?”  
“His glass broke when I shoved him off the bench”  
“That’s not ideal. Still, it’s better than you having thrown a punch or lost control”  
“I didn’t know what to do”  
“I know. Lance is your first love. All your firsts have been with him. I’m not going to lie, he’s going to be mad and he’s going to be hurt. He’s probably going to lash out, but he will understand if you tell him exactly what happened”  
“What if... what if he goes after Krystaal? It’s going to be my word against his”  
“Then we’ll go in with a pod and recover your memories. Or go to Altea. If you’re telling the truth then you have nothing to be afraid of. I’m mad. I’m a little disappointed. And I’m honestly worried how Lance will react. But Krystaal kissed you. Not the other way around”  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lost it at you this morning. I... I had to get away to think about it. I poured out my drink when I realised it was alcoholic... I don’t want to be like them... I don’t want to be like that with my kids”

“Them” was of course all the shitty foster parents that only “looked after” kids for the money. “Them” were the ones who hit him for wanting a glass of water or needing something for school. “Them” were the ones that Lance and Shiro had spent so many nights reassuring him that they’d been the ones in the wrong.

“You’re not like them. I could have picked a better time to talk to you about it, and a better place”  
Keith shook his head  
“Why can’t you just be mad at me!? I was horrible to you...”  
“Because I know whatever I say, you’ve already punished yourself a hundred times worse mentally. Here, let’s get you up and down to the space where Krolia is supposed to meet us. I’ll let them know to come now rather than later”  
“Our things are still down in our room... Lance needs his things. I... I don’t want things to end like this. I don’t want to cause a fight here... I wanted him... I wanted him to be happy”  
“Lance has been happy. I’ve seen it too. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I’ve seen the way he starts out shy so as not to make a scene, then ends up gushing to you. Sure, some planets we’ve visited made us all sit apart, but that wasn’t all the time. You did build good memories on this tour, not just the stress. When your stressing, your mind goes into overdrive. All you can remember is the bad”  
“I don’t want to remember this. He’s going to be furious at me”  
“I’ll be there to back you up. No matter what happens, I’m sure Lance will understand”  
“I’m not so sure”  
“Just give him a chance”

*  
Lance had wanted to pick up their things, so he and Krolia were packing up the room they’d been staying down there while Curtis had picked them up, saving them the trip back down those annoying stairs. Having had word sent by her advisors, their trip down to the main part of the city was delayed by the ruling family’s princess. She wasn’t happy. The arrival of the pod hadn’t been authorised, guests had reported seeing “one of his team bleeding”, Lance had missed the start of the festive and he wasn’t fulfilling his role as the previous Black/Red Paladin, which had disappointed their guests. In what appeared to be an appearance driven society, Keith had caused their hosts to lose face in the eyes of their guests. Coming to his rescue, Shiro assured the princess that they were about to pick Lance up then return to the party for the rest of the duration of the festival. Reluctantly, the princess agreed purely because the rest of the team was still in the temple.

Keith could see that Curtis had noticed something was off, but was grateful when he wasn’t pushed to talk. Shiro wouldn’t have told him the details of what had happened with Krystaal, and wouldn’t until he’d had the chance to talk to Lance. The trip down to the city only took a handful of ticks, then Curtis was landing the pod as close as the rooms they were using as possible. With leaden feet, Keith followed the pair from the pod. Lance’s scent had filled the small space. His husband didn’t smell particularly upset or pained, but then again, he had no idea he’d been cheated on. With his arms wrapped firmly around him in a self hug, he wasn’t sure how to face his husband and admit what had happened. Admitting it made it all that much more real... He felt weak for letting the kiss happen, and his eyes remained brimming with unshed tears over the knowledge Lance would take it badly. He didn’t want to hide it from Lance. Part of his brain was telling him to bolt, while a smaller portion was whispering that Lance might just understand. He could only pray that he did.

Pausing outside the door, Curtis looked to Shiro who gave the barest shake of his head. Opening the older style handled door, Lance was sitting on their bed, with Krolia by his side. Automatically, he stepped back. Hearing the door open, Lance turned to him. The smile on his face was wide until his eyes met Keith’s. Rising from the bed, Lance covered the space between them alarmingly fast, his husband reaching out to cup his face  
“Keith? Babe, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Hey, whatever it is, come sit down and tell me”  
“I...”  
“Krolia, can you come outside so these two can have a moment alone?”  
Keith flinched at Shiro’s tone, despite Shiro not having said anything accusary. Releasing his face, Lance grabbed his hand to tow him over to the bed. Unable to look his mother in the face, they passed each other silently. Keith feeling almost numb with fear as he found himself being tugged to sit by his husband. Gathering him against him, Lance kissed his hair  
“Babe, you’re scaring me. What happened?”

Why was Lance so sweet? He felt as if he was going to vomit from how kind he was being. Taking a shaky breath, he knew he couldn’t avoid it  
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want... I didn’t mean... I... I cheated on you”  
Lance tensed, Keith felt like hurling himself off the nearest cliff  
“That’s a joke right? You didn’t actually cheat on me...”  
A sob escaped his lips, Keith shaking with emotion   
“I’m sorry. I didn’t... He kissed me and I don’t know why... I didn’t... I don’t want... I’m in love with you. I thought we were friends and now you hate me. I’m so sorry. I pushed him away but I cheated on you. I’m sorry. Oh god, Lance. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how it happened. I was talking about you and he kissed me... I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you have a husband like me. It doesn’t matter that I told him no... it happened and I can’t take it back”

Keith felt as if he was a heart beat away from death as he waited for Lance’s reaction. His husband’s scent was fast morphing into anger. He closed his eyes, resigned for the yelling and screaming that never came  
“Shhh... hey. Hey, shhhh, I’m here. I’ve got you. You’re safe with me. You’re ok, babe. Talk to me. Tell me what happened”  
That’s... that... Lance was supposed to be screaming at him for cheating on him  
“Why aren’t you mad? I cheated on you. Someone else kissed me...”  
“Trust me, zero impressed. You, you on the other hand... You’re so upset that I can’t help but know there’s more to this”  
“How!? How is there more!?”  
“Because you’re my husband. I can read you. When you came in I could tell from one look at you that you were devastated by something. The hollow look in your eyes. The way you had your arms wrapped around you. You’re pale and you’re shaking. You’re scared. You say you cheated on me, but you told me to my face...”

All of that could have been because he was guiltily. Lance was being... he was being too understanding and Keith couldn’t understand. He wasn’t even using a disappointed tone. Not that he could have survived if Lance had. Lance had no reason to think there was more... he’d done it. He’d kissed Krystaal and here was his husband trying to comfort him. He wanted him to yell. He wanted him to treat him how he deserved   
“Why... why can’t you yell at me?! I’m disgusting!”  
Struggling against Lance, Lance refused to let him go  
“Stop it! Stop it right now. You said “he kissed you”. Did you ask him to kiss you?”  
“No”  
“Did you kiss him back?”  
“No!”  
“Did you return his feelings?”  
Did he? No. He couldn’t picture loving Krystaal. He couldn’t picture the lazy mornings, tangled up in the sheets with him. He couldn’t picture marrying him. Having a family with him... not like he could with Lance  
“No! No... I’m in love with you”  
“Then you didn’t cheat on me. You didn’t go looking for someone else to kiss. You didn’t initiate it. You didn’t want to. He kissed you. You need to tell me what happened though”  
“I cheated on you”  
“Before that. Before “he” kissed you. What happened? I can’t understand how it happened if you don’t explain. And I think I fucking deserve an explanation”  
“He... I...”

Shifting, Lance took Keith’s face in his hands again, after placing Keith’s left hand to his chest   
“You need to breathe for me. Ignore my heartbeat and breathe. Take a breath and tell me what happened”  
Keith sniffled, nodding sadly as he did  
“Krystaal kissed me. He... I don’t understand why. I was trying to hide... Shiro said I’ve been drinking too much and I’ve been hurting you without you telling me. He told me Curtis had to clean your bite wounds because I... because I hurt you... and we had a fight. I was so mean to him. I told him... he didn’t... I made him... feel so bad over not putting you in a pod instead of me. And I... I was so horrible to him. I didn’t want to be at the party. It... none of this. I can’t do any of this without you. I don’t know how. Th-The temple is massive and I was hiding. I grabbed a drink and I swear I didn’t know it was alcoholic until I tasted it so I poured it out... and I hid... he found me. He brought me a drink and was... we were just talking. He asked how you were... and I was saying we were leaving the tour because I can’t... we fucking deserve to have our own lives and I can’t keep doing this. I can’t... I don’t know what to give up. I can’t leave mum alone, I don’t want to leave you alone, you’re so miserable all of the time and I hate it, but I don’t know how to leave the Coalition when they’re putting all this attention on us... and...”  
“Keith. Babe. Breathe for me. Breathe... you’re panicking...”  
“I cheated on you! He kissed me. He said I wanted it. That I’ve been looking at him like that for ages. He... he made it sound like... did I want him to kiss me? I don’t know. I don’t know. I thought we were friends. He reminds me so much of you... I liked hanging out with him... I don’t... I felt his lips... and I shoved him away. We’re married. I’m married to you. He... he got so mad. He cut his hand on his glass when fell off the bench. He was begging me not to say anything. Saying he wouldn’t. But you’re my husband. How could I do this to you? Krystaal was supposed to be my friend!”

Lance let go of his face, Keith’s stomach was rolling. He knew Lance wouldn’t be happy. He knew it. He was going to leave him. He’d fucked up. He’d ruined it. He didn’t deserve to be a father to their twins. Climbing off their bed, Lance walked over to their open suitcase. Growling, his husband pulled out his blaster, flicking it into action, the barrel expanding and charging in preparation to fire the lethal shot  
“Where the fuck is he?”  
What? Keith didn’t know what he meant  
“Wh...”  
“Krystaal. Where the fuck is he?”  
“B-Babe?”  
Striding towards the door, Keith rose from the bed as Lance ripped it open  
“Lance?”  
“I’m going to fucking kill him. I’m going to fucking him shoot him, then I’m going to cut his dick off”  
No. No. Lance hadn’t seen the look in Krystaal’s eyes. Staggering to his husband, Keith crashed into his back   
“No!”  
“Keith, I swear to God, you better let me go right now”  
“I don’t want you to be hurt...”  
His words were muffled by his face against Lance’s back. He was holding his husband for dear life  
“Me!? You’re the one who was fucking hurt by the piece of intergalactic shit! I fucking told you that he had feelings for you! He knows you’re married! He knows your mine. He forced himself on you, and that’s not fucking ok. I’m going to fucking shoot him for making you cry!”  
“Please, no!”  
“So you think it’s ok for someone to force themselves on you then hush it all up!? Do you!?”  
“No! No...”  
“Then he needs to learn what respect is”  
“Please, babe. Please...”  
“He touched you without your consent...”  
“I’m alright...”  
“What if he’d kept going? What if he hadn’t stopped? What if he won’t stop!?”  
His husband was scaring him. He’d kissed him. He’d kissed him then ran... it hadn’t gone further. His husband was... his own trauma was bleeding through. If there was anyone who ever understood how important consent was, it was Lance. His husband couldn’t see the kiss for the action on its own. It wasn’t... it didn’t lead to...  
“Lance, please...”

“Lance, I know you’re scared and angry, but you need to put your blaster down”  
Krolia’s voice was calm, Keith couldn’t see what was happening, not with his face against Lance’s back   
“Do you know what happened? That piece of shit Krystaal tried kissing Keith. Keith’s too fucking dense to see how it happened. It’s not ok!”  
Lance snapping at Krolia drew a whimper from him. His husband slumped a fraction in surprise at the sound, then there were two steps and a minor movement of his husband right side, before Lance was growling. One of them had taken the blaster from Lance. A soft whizzing sound as it powered down confirmed his theory  
“He did?”  
Krolia sounded as Shiro had, as if she too had seen this coming  
“Yes. Now give me back my blaster so I can go shoot the arsehole for making him cry”  
Keith sniffled softly, nuzzling into Lance’s back. He’d thought his husband would be furious at him, not at Krystaal... he was kind of happy Lance wanted to defend his honour but not so happy he leapt straight to shooting him. Ever diplomatic, Shiro spoke up  
“I’m sorry, Lance. I can’t let you shoot him. The princess of the royal family is expecting us to return the party. I understand you want to shoot Krystaal, but the best revenge you can have on him is to not make a fuss. He might be hoping you’d go after him for what he’d done, but if you show him that you and Keith are stronger than his petty ways, it’ll be a harsher punishment”  
“He could have hurt Keith! He could have drugged his drink for all we know! He’s a piece of shit. I know he’s supposed to be your friend, babe, but... Dios. I told you. I told you he liked you. I told you I don’t trust him. Now he’s hurt Keith... and tried to fuck with our marriage!”  
Krolia replied  
“Lance, Shiro is right. Why don’t we gather your things up, then return to the party. Curtis, you’ll track down Krystaal and keep an eye on him. When we return to Daibazaal, I’ll have him taken aside for a talk with Kolivan. For now, we play it cool”  
“How... he hurt Keith!”  
“I’m not impressed with his actions. I certainly feel like punching him myself. He should have known better. But it was only a single kiss from what I hear. If we overreact to the situation it may escalate. You two can walk back to the pod with me. I want to hear what happened properly and not because the two of you were yelling. Curtis, Shiro, would you mind grabbing the last of their belongings and meet us there? And Keith, you don’t have to hide behind Lance”  
“I don’t think he’s hiding, I think he was trying to hold Lance back”  
Keith nodded. He couldn’t get Krystaal’s eyes out of his mind. Krystaal had looked ready for blood  
“I wouldn’t need holding back if that arsehole hadn’t kissed Keith. Seriously. I could shoot him and dispose of him...”  
“It was only a kiss... You need to calm down”

Keith flinched at Shiro’s idiocy. Telling someone who was pregnant to calm down seemed like an awful idea  
“Calm down!? Calm down!? Are you crazy? He upset Keith. He hurt Keith and betrayed his trust. You upset then he upset him! I work a bar Shiro, I know how to swap my husband’s drink out for something not as alcoholic when I can. Which isn’t exactly easy. I’ve been trying to watch over him during the tour. I might not be doing a great job, but he doesn’t need the stress right now. He doesn’t need to be worrying over his every action. I know how much that sucks because I’ve been doing the same thing the whole time”  
“I’m worried you’re letting your own...”  
“There’s a different between being kissed and being raped! Believe me Shiro, I fucking know, but the kiss was unwanted and without consent! I’m not saying he should have paused to ask Keith for his permission! I’m saying that he should have already known that Keith wouldn’t consent! Because even if he was crushing on Krystaal, he’s not that much of a dick... nghh...”  
Finishing his sentence with a groan, Lance’s hands went to his stomach, Keith moving from behind him to supporting him from his side  
“Babe?”  
“It’s fine... it’s fine. Your kids are kicking me for yelling... I don’t want to be mad at you Keith... but... you’re a quiznakking idiot! You accused me so many times of cheating on you with Shiro... it took me so long to believe you weren’t going to... that this wasn’t...”  
Lance rubbed his stomach looking uncomfortable. Placing his hand beside his husband’s he could feel one of their sons moving up a storm. This was what he wanted... He was scared as hell for the time that this became more, but... these... this... his family. All he could ever want from his family... why... why had he felt anything for Krystaal?  
“I know. I know and I’m so sorry...”  
Lance shifted his hand to rest on Keith’s  
“I know you are. Fuck. I want to shoot him. If I can’t kill him, can I please shoot him in the foot? Just a tiny blast... he doesn’t need all his toes... I won’t even cut his dick off, I pinky promise... but only with the left one”  
Keith hiccup-laugh-snorted wetly  
“I shoved him over and he cut his hand open”  
“I suppose I’ll have to take it. Do we really need to go to the festival? I don’t know if I can keep my temper around him”  
“I’m sorry. The princess was quite... unimpressed that neither of you were there. Take a few min-doboshes with Krolia while we take care of things here. I think both of you could use a moment to calm down”  
Using his “Dad” tone, neither of them had much choice but to listen to Shiro. The last thing they wanted to do was join the festival, yet... Lance made to move first, leaving Keith to get his shit together. At least his husband was willing to listen, and more importantly, he let him hold his hand as they left the bedroom behind.

*  
Lance was ready to murder Krystaal. The fact he’d kissed his husband had convinced him that every bad feeling and suspicion over the man was correct. He was pissed at Keith. Absolutely livid with him really, but Keith had been so upset over what had happened that he didn’t have time to vent that anger. A kiss was a kiss. Drunk kisses happened. Accidental kisses... not so much. But Krystaal making a move on Keith... that’d been intentional, no matter what the slimy quiznakking bastard said. He and Keith were married. He was past the halfway point of his pregnancy, and within orbit the same damn planet Keith was on. He’d often wondered how he’d react if, and when, it’d happen. Apparently he defaulted to murderous rage. He hadn’t been lying. He held no particular like for Krystaal before the kiss. He’d only saved his arse because Krystaal was Keith’s friend, and Keith needed friends. He was so much better at communicating with others. He’d grown into his own man, and no longer defaulted to anger over things that happened. He was starting to understand his feelings more and more. He was hard to live with at times, but then again, so was Lance. Much harder. He felt way too many emotions, while Keith was still catching up with his. If Keith hadn’t told him himself, than Lance wasn’t sure he could have forgiven the kiss, even forced upon him. He’d placed every ounce of his trust in his husband. By telling him, Keith was honouring his need for truth, at least that was how Lance was going to take it. His husband felt horrible. Hearing that “he’d cheated” had damn near stopped Lance’s heart. With how disturbing his husband had smelt, and how emotional he was, Lance had thought that Shiro must have caught him in the act with someone... doing something more... then dragged him before him. Then he’d seen Shiro’s expression. The worry in his eyes for his younger brother. There was more to this. He’d faintly smelt someone else’s scent on his husband, but not strong enough to have been screwing. Keith’s scent didn’t smell like sexual excitement. He knew that scent. His body know that scent. He would have reacted to the scent before his brain had caught up.

Having explained everything again, Krolia had simply nodded as she processed it all. Their eyes had met, his mother-in-law using her “mum” mind tricks to see right through to his inner thoughts. There wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that he believed Krystaal responsible for everything. If he was, that made him incredibly dangerous and unpredictable. His motive remained unknown, so there was a certain level of uncertainty over how to proceed seeing he couldn’t just kill him. Krystaal was either after him or after Keith. Lance had seen the chemistry between them during the Allura Day celebrations. Keith had talked about him nonstop and hid the fact he was male from him. Krystaal would have had access to Keith’s room once quarantine was lifted. He also knew Kosmo, and most likely knew Kosmo could be easily won over with treats. So why go after him? To get him away from Keith? That would make Krystaal some kind of stalking-psychopath, but he could see why when it came to Keith. His husband was beautiful. A total idiot at times, and sometimes a complete douche, but all in all, he was as imperfectly perfect as a man could ask for. Not to mention he was hot as hell, funny as quiznak, and made fighting dirty look sexy. But on the other hand, if Krystaal was only using Keith to get to him, that made no sense to him... unless Krystaal was involved with Kre’el, and in that case, he couldn’t forgive him. Lance had been secretly hoping they would have found the last of the poisoned Altean’s. The unrealistic romantic dreamer in him hoped that they’d all be able to be saved. The disappearances in his sector had stopped, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t resumed somewhere else. Stranger things in space had happened, such as the fact he was pregnant to Keith.

Nuzzling his hair, Lance was sitting between Keith’s legs on the floor. His husband wanted him to sit in his lap, yet Lance felt too fat to do that. Sitting on the floor wasn’t particularly friendly to his hips and back. The position quiznakking sucked if he was honest, still, Keith needed to hold him right now so Lance was indulging that need. They’d been waiting for the last 10 doboshes for Shiro and Curtis to join them. Krolia was on her comms now, Lance supposed she had to notify Kolivan of any incidents in case of some kind of fall out happened between Keith’s teams, Keith, the recruits and Krystaal. Shiro had to know the details of what happened, while Curtis had a few things to catch him up on from the few vargas they’d spent together. If Shiro checked the shirt on top of his and Keith’s suitcase, he’d find one of his. Lance had leaked through his shirt and bra while he’d been sleeping, Curtis finding one of Shiro’s smaller shirts for him to tide him over until they reached the city. It’d saved him the embarrassment of everyone on board the Atlas having to look at his wet chest, he’d passed the MFE pilots returning from their duties and that was bad enough. James has side eyed him as he tried to hide behind Curtis. Earth and the Atlas still had their obligations to fulfil across the universe, so the MFE pilots were essentially walking in the shoes of Voltron. Usually their paths didn’t cross for longer than a few ticks at a time, passing each other as they were leaving. He hadn’t had to tolerate any of James’s shit, for which he was eternally grateful. He stared enough as it was. They all stared, but they all didn’t rub him the same way that James did. He seemed to think himself superior now that Lance “had retired”. Little did the shit know he was going to end up with Veronica as his boss. Maybe even sooner than Shiro planned. Having had trouble falling asleep, Curtis had sat on his side of the bed, scrolling through jewellery store sites, “umming and ahhhing” over what ring would be right for Shiro, with the intention of proposing on Christmas Eve, because the four of them going camping was still a thing... Curtis’s parents had a cabin they could use, that way Lance wouldn’t have to worry about roughing it or going into labour in the middle of nowhere. He couldn’t go home, and unlike Shay, Curtis had talked a little about what he and Shiro wanted in their wedding. They were having a church wedding, thanks to his parents, then promptly making their escape between the wedding and the over-catered reception to a reception with the people they wanted to be with. Their friends, and extended family. Keith was going to be Shiro’s best man, naturally. The twins were going to be ring barers. They’d have matching suits, white like Shiro’s hair. Curtis had kind of drifted off into daydream mode while Lance had just drifted off to sleep. Naturally Curtis wasn’t about to propose to Shiro in the room that he and Keith had been using, but he supposed he’d be talking to him about the bite marks Keith had left across his skin. They didn’t understand Keith’s instincts like Lance did. They didn’t understand how unsettled things had made Keith on this tour. Krystaal hadn’t helped. What the both needed was the return to Daibazaal at the end of the day. Their own bed, with Kosmo to cuddle up with them when he wasn’t being disappointed by their antics. Staying on world simply didn’t work for them.

Taking Keith’s hand, he moved it to sit over where one of their sons was kicking. Keith loved talking to them. He loved feeling them move  
“Do you feel a bit better?”  
Nuzzling harder was Keith’s form of a nod  
“I’m still sorry over what happened”  
“I told you, you didn’t cheat”  
“I’m still sorry it happened”  
“You just said that. They’ve been pretty active today”  
Other than twins being active, cramps had been annoying him. He’d eaten. Curtis had made him eat, but his stomach had started cramping about a varga later. He must have eaten something containing an allergen, and it sucked  
“You said it was because you were yelling”  
That hadn’t helped. He was supposed to managing his stress levels... Krystaal was not good for his stress levels  
“That woke them up. You know, I get the feeling that I’ll be the parent doing all the yelling, and you’ll be the parent letting them get away with everything”  
“Yeah. Yeah, I can see that”  
Lance snorted, he was trying his hardest to settle himself so defaulting to humour to raise both their spirits wasn’t that hard  
“You didn’t have to agree so fast”  
“I like it when you’re loud”  
He’d walked into that one  
“Babe. No”  
“I can see you being as fierce as Mami. Ruling the house...”  
“Ruling is a bit... I prefer taking care of the ones I love”  
“With an iron fist”  
“I’ll iron fist you. Wait. No. That’s not what I meant”  
Keith kissed his hair, Lance flustered over his fuck-up  
“I wouldn’t mind... if you want to try”  
“Stop it. I can’t believe you. Mumma K is right there”  
“She’s not paying attention”  
“That’s beside the point. Also, this is Krolia. She’s always listening. That’s why she’s so ninja”  
“You’re going to be a good father... much better than me”  
Turning so he could see Keith’s face, Lance shook his head  
“That’s not true at all. You’ve... you’re more than you think you are. You’re going to be the best father ever. I promise you”  
“I don’t know how to be...”  
“I don’t either... but we’ll work it out”  
“I cheated on...”  
“Shhh. No. No, you didn’t”  
“I did”  
“Keith, stop. It’s... it’s no ok, but it’s not worth throwing all the work we’ve been doing away...”  
“I don’t think I’ve worked on much”  
“We’ve talked to Coran. We’re setting up plans and stop words. This is hard on you. I’ve thrown your whole life in to chaos... You have to be my carer while trying to lead your own life”  
“I wanted... You inspired me. Seeing you leading your team, I wanted to be a better team leader for my team. I wanted to bond better with them. I wanted to be more like you. I haven’t... I haven’t become any stronger”  
“You led them for five phoebs. Five phoebs. This doesn’t change your achievements. You’re life changed overnight. You didn’t need to take care of me. I wasn’t pregnant. You were working your arse off to be what everyone on Daibazaal needed to be. But there’s sometimes you need to let things go. No matter how frustrated you are or how much it hurts. I had to let Kre’el go. I had to hand that mission over to Shiro and the Coalition because I wanted to make this marriage work. I don’t regret being married to you. But I do regret that I’ve shackled you with the burden of me. You’ve had to juggle me, my problems, and this pregnancy while you’re still growing and figuring out the man that you are”  
“You’re not a burden. You’re the man I love”  
“Babe. I come with a whole lot of issues. Don’t deny it. PTS, depression with melancholy tendencies, anxiety, panic attacks, trauma induced epilepsy, nightmares, Altean magic, a history of substance abuse, effects from dying and being revived, my body issues, and this pregnancy, with the bleed complication. Now I’ve got allergies too. It’s a lot to handle... I go through this, but you... you have to watch it. You want to take my pain away from me, but I would pay all the GAC in the universe to do the same for you”  
“Lance, I don’t think... I don’t think I can be a father. I can’t...”  
Lance wasn’t stupid. He knew Keith feared his years in foster care. He feared turning out like the parents that abandoned and abused him. He feared losing his temper at their children, taking out his frustrations on them as everyone had done while he was in care  
“Then don’t think”  
“I don’t know what to do. What’s the right thing to do?”  
“Talk. Talk to me... keep talking to me”  
“I don’t want to, I mean, I do, but I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. You didn’t tell me I’d hurt you? Shiro told me you needed your bites cleaned”  
“Curtis has a big mouth”  
“I hurt you”  
“Your instincts went a little crazy”  
“Don’t. Don’t deflect like that. I hurt you”  
“Your instincts always play up when we’re off world. It’s better when we get to go back to your room for the night...”  
Now would have been the time to ask Keith to lay off biting his shoulders where his bra strap sat, but Keith was too upset for that. He didn’t need a scolding right now, nor did he need a muzzle if this was going to be their last planet  
“... We’ll talk about it when we’re back on Daibazaal”  
“But I hurt you”  
“Keith, you were just showing me how much you love me. This is our planet for now, and though I can’t say for sure I’ll keep my temper, I can promise that I’ll support you for the rest of the festival”  
“Krystaal...”  
Craning slightly, Lance silenced his idiot husband with a kiss. The kiss quickly deepening until they both momentarily forgot they hand an audience. Moaning into his husband’s mouth, Keith’s hand started sliding downwards as Lance grew wet. Clearing her throat, Krolia stopped Keith’s hand from travelling any lower   
“I don’t mind you two talking. You both need to talk, but I don’t need to see anything more. Save it for home”  
Blushing hard, Lance bit his lip. Keith was as flushed as he was, his husband’s half hard dick was rubbing against his hip as his own jeans were tenting  
“Sorry, mum...”  
“Don’t be sorry, just keep it in your pants. That’s enough”

They might be idiots, given they could smell each other’s arousal, their instincts calling out to each other rather than settling, despite the audience. The fact that Krystaal had kissed his husband had stirred up a dark jealousy, if Krolia hadn’t been there, their clothes wouldn’t have lasted long. Keith was his. His to make and claim. He wanted to smother his husband in their scent, so no one else would approach Keith without knowing they’d been screwing instead of working. After all, Keith wasn’t the only one who got jealous. Lance wanted to mark Keith as much as he had him, and then rub it right in Krystaal’s unfairly handsome face  
“Leave him alone, mum. We aren’t going to do anything in front of an audience”  
“I’m not teasing you. Shiro’s on his way back, you two should straighten up. This is your last night on tour, try to make some good memories before it’s all over”  
The only good memory Lance wanted to make was him shooting Krystaal in the foot... seeing he wasn’t allowed to shoot him in the face. He was too go of a shot to claim it was an accident... curse his stupid skills.

*  
Walking into the main floor of the temple, Keith held his husband’s hand proudly. Lance was so quiznakking strong. Stronger than him. Had their roles been reversed, he wasn’t sure he had the strength to sit and listen to his words about another man touching him. He still felt like he’d cheated. That if he’d just stayed standing then the kiss would never have happened. Then again, he wasn’t expecting to be suddenly kissed. Keith still wasn’t sure what exactly had happened... He knew what had happened from his side of things, but why did Krystaal pick that moment to kiss him? Feeling Lance stop, Keith frowned was he surveyed the crowd, his eyes finally settling on where Krystaal was sulking in the corner with a few of the other recruits. In his absence, Krystaal’s hand been bandaged, and although his facial expression was rather sour, he seemed relatively okay despite what had happened  
“Don’t look at him, babe”  
“How can I not? I want to punch the shit out of him for making you cry”  
Lance sounded like a pouting child, all he needed was the foot stamping. He was completely adorable in the way he wanted to fight Krystaal. Leaning over he nuzzled his husband’s cheek as he softly whispered  
“I know it’s hard, but we only have to get through tonight together”  
“I know. I know. Quiznak...”  
Casting a glance back across the space Krystaal was looking their way  
“I’m here. I’m here and I’m sorry”  
“I know you are... I just don’t like him thinking you either haven’t told me, or that I’m so desperate that I don’t care”  
“The way you’re glaring at him, he has to know”  
“This would all be so much simpler if you let me shoot him”  
“He’s not worth it. Do you want to come get something to drink with me?”  
“Yeah. I suppose the princess will want people seeing us actually here. I wouldn’t mind shooting her too”  
“Babe, you can’t shoot everyone”  
“I can when people don’t take my blaster away...”  
Pulling on his husband’s arm, Lance slowly started moving again  
“See. Don’t even look at him”  
“I can’t help it. I want to know what the little shit is thinking and saying. Do you think he’s told them? What do you think he said about his hand?”  
“I don’t know. Shiro and Curtis are here if he tries to start anything. And mum’s already made a beeline over to Acxa and Veronica”  
“It’s just so frustrating!”  
Lance stomped his foot, Keith snorting faintly. Maybe he was enjoying Lance being jealous a tad too much... his husband was probably saving all his yelling for when they were back home  
“Don’t you laugh at me. This is all your fault. If you weren’t so goddamn handsome than he wouldn’t have kissed you”  
“I’m sorry I’m handsome”  
“So you should be. Between this, that, and that kiss in the pod, I’m tired from trying to keep up with everything I’m feeling”  
“Are you ok? If you need a dobosh...”  
“That kiss made me horny. Now I’m wet and uncomfortable. He’s over there and I can’t stop thinking about him kissing you”  
In that case...  
“Hey, babe. Look at me for a tick”

Turning his face slightly Keith moved to kiss him in front of everyone watching. He hated that Lance was feeling insecure because of Krystaal, despite his brave front. The kiss was sweet, much sweeter than the one he’d shared with Krystaal. This one full of love without lust, Lance melting into his arms as it broke and he gathered his husband into his hold  
“It’s you I love”  
Hiding his face against Keith’s neck, Keith rubbed his back as he sniffled  
“You can’t say you didn’t have feelings for him. I know you did... I could see it... if you want to leave me for him...”  
“I don’t. When he kissed me... it wasn’t like kissing you. You’re my idiot husband. My accidental husband. My partner in crime. The other half the idiot to my idiot”  
“He’s not as... I’m broken”  
“You’re a bit dented, but you’re not broken”  
“He’s the better choice”  
“You’re the better choice. You. I’d choose you a thousand times over”  
“I’m...”  
“Perfect. You’re perfect. I love you. Idiocy, imperfections and all. There was a time not so long ago being in a room with this many people would have triggered a panic attack. You’ve come so far. We only need to make it a little longer”  
“I can’t smell them. I mean, I can, but your scent doesn’t leave my skin... Your scent helps to keep me grounded... They... I don’t like how the smell with all the types of perfume they wear, but it’s not Galra”  
Keith sighed softly  
“You didn’t tell me you were still struggling that badly with Galra scents”  
“It wouldn’t change anything. My nose has gotten super sensitive. I can tell Krolia is going to go into labour soon. I can smell it on her. I can smell her pregnancy on her. They... they called me a pregnant whore... I wish... I wish our friends couldn’t smell me”  
“You’re not a whore”  
“I’ve probably... there was... times when it wasn’t just one Galra. Times when I couldn’t pass out... I was so scared of being with you. I was so scared of you finding out. I hate that he kissed you. I hate it. I hate that I’m jealous. I hate him. He’s your friend and I hate him... and I know what it’s like to kiss someone like that, but I’ve never... not when in a relationship or knowing they were. I’m scared someone saw. I’m scared we’re going to be all over the news again... I don’t understand”

Keith took a few ticks to think through his reply  
“I don’t understand, either”  
He didn’t. He didn’t understand what Lance was trying to tell him by mentioning what had been done to him  
“I’m sorry. I feel all messed up”  
“I do to”  
“Can we get that drink, do the rounds for a bit then get some air? I’m not feeling... I don’t feel very good with him watching me”  
“Sure, babe. The princess might be rude, but your health is more important to me than her”  
“Krystaal’s leaving the room... should we follow him?”  
How Lance had caught a glimpse of Krystaal striding across the space, Keith didn’t know. But he hoped the message had been driven home that he and Lance weren’t going to be broken by something like an unwanted kiss  
“No. I’m sure one of the others will. I don’t want you anywhere near him”  
“I don’t want to be near him either”  
“Then it’s settled. I’ve got your back”  
“And I’ve got yours”

Doing the rounds was irksome. Lance repeatedly apologising for his absence until he finally stopped explaining it away with his pregnancy and left it as a simple unexplained apology. Everyone seemed to have the same two questions for him “How does a male from Earth fall pregnant?”, and, “Was it intentional?”. The “Was it intentional?” always seemed to come with some pearl of wisdom about the stranger they were talking to’s family or friend who’d experienced a shock when they found out. Twice they’d been interrupted by the princess who “simply had to” introduce them to some higher up. Lance had a fake smile on his lips, that only grew with the more people they met. His husband hugging into his side closer and closer with each new conversation until Keith’s arm grew damp with how badly Lance was sweating. His scent had grown further off, now sickly not with distress but the actual sickliness of not feeling well. His husband had hit his limit. Casting his eyes around the room for their closest friend, he discretely waved Hunk over behind Lance’s back. Being “absorbed” in conversation with another random guest, their friend had taken his time noticing Keith beckoning him over. Rushing through some kind of apology, there was a certain relieved bounce in Hunk’s step as he made his way over to them. Picking up from how Lance was standing and the way Keith had called him over, Hunk’s shyness seemed to melt away  
“Hi. Hey. Hello. I’m Hunk the Yellow Paladin. Sorry to interrupt your conversation, I’ve had a call from the Atlas, so I need to borrow both Keith and Lance for a few ticks. So sorry, but it is urgent. Thanks, thank you. Sorry, once again”

Lance whimpered at Hunk’s touch as he started herding them away from the group that had formed while they’d been talking. Keeping up the pretence, Hunk let Keith lead them out the main room to the hallway. Taking Lance’s glass from him, their friend’s face was filled with concern  
“What’s going on? What happened?”  
“I’m going to be sick”  
There was no mistaking that one. Hunk wrinkled his nose slightly as Keith looked for the bathroom without any way of actually knowing where it was. The whole place looked the same no matter which way you went   
“Hunk, do you have any idea where the bathroom is around here?”  
Hunk shook his head, Keith biting down a sigh. Beside him Lance lurched slightly. Fuck it. Stripping off his jacket, he shoved it between Lance’s mouth and his hands, Lance gagging at the offending item, before putting two and two together and shaking his head  
“Let it out babe...”  
“Not here...”  
“Hunk, I’m going to take him outside. Can you let Mum and Shiro know? The princess was pretty mad at us for our lack of attendance. Shiro might have to smooth things over, now that Lance is throwing up”  
“Haven’t... yet...”  
“Do you two need anything else? I’m sure I could find some water... or maybe something light to eat...? Should I tell Shiro to come find you? Or would... Does this have something to do with why Krystaal’s hand was bleeding and why you disappeared for so long? Because if you need help, I want to help”  
Hunk was nervously poking at the rim of Lance’s glass, anxiety written all over him as he worried for Lance. Gagging and heaving slightly, Lance tried to break away from him  
“Hunk, he’s going to be ok. It’s a pregnancy thing. Thanks for helping us get out of there. I’ll explain everything once we get back to Daibazaal. You’re a good friend”  
“You’ll call, right? If I can help”  
“Yeah. Sure thing. I’ve got him from here for now. Oh, can you take my glass too?”  
“Sure...”  
Keith handed over his glass, then bent to lift Lance up against his chest. His husband letting out an unhappy groan as suddenly being swept off his feet. Forcing himself to smile for Hunk’s sake, Keith felt he’d asked the wrong friend to help. Hunk would be spending the rest of the night worrying over Lance when it was only a little bit of nausea from his pregnancy   
“Hunk, he’s going to be ok”  
“Ok. Ok... I’ll let the others know”  
They’d done an unnecessary circle to come back to Hunk finally leaving and him finally being able to take Lance somewhere more private. 

Getting Lance out of the crowd had seemed to work wonders for his husband. Away from the scents and heat of the party, Lance was now sitting with him under the shade of the trees in some kind of atrium area off the main temple. Curled into his side on the stone bench, Lance was adorable as he rubbed his stomach. Keith’s jacket over his legs, spared any vomit and the fate of being binned it there had been. Sighing softly, mostly to himself, Lance wriggled against him  
“Shhh... we don’t have to go back”  
“I didn’t say anything”  
“You sighed”  
“Mmmm? My stomach feels gross still”  
“Pain, nausea, or nerves?”  
“A bit of all of it. They wear so much perfume”  
“That’s true. Do you still feel like you need to vomit?”  
“Yeah... that sick where you feel like if you vomit you’ll feel better. Maybe I should stick my fingers down my throat?”  
“You can’t do that, babe. You need to let it come up naturally”  
“But if I throw up, then we can go back to the party”  
Rubbing his husband’s arm, Keith tilted his head  
“You want to go back?”  
“No. But I don’t want to make any more trouble... I know we’ve been there for a while, but I can’t remember anything of it”  
“You haven’t said anything wrong”  
“I wouldn’t remember if I have... Keith, Krystaal didn’t come back to the party”  
“So you can’t remember anything from the people we met, but you remember he left?”  
“I was distracted by it... and my stomach... I think I had something I’m allergic to. It hurts”  
Pain wasn’t good...  
“You haven’t eaten, not here at least. Curtis said you ate”  
“I feel itchy too... I wasn’t itchy before”  
“Do you want me to check? See if it’s allergies?”  
“My belly feels itchy. So does my wrist”  
“Show me your wrist”  
Mumbling as he pulled his sleeve up, Keith used the light of his comm screen to illuminate the area. Lance had snuck in scratching at it before bringing it up, making the red welt bigger and bloodied with his nails  
“Allergies”  
Lance nodded, Keith pulled his sleeve back down and draping his hand over the area so his husband couldn’t start scratching again   
“I don’t know what I had though. Curtis knows I have allergies. I don’t think he... I mean, he would have made sure it was safe”  
“We’re on an alien planet, it could have been in the perfume or our drinks. I didn’t think to scan them. Do you need your medication?”  
“I don’t know where the pod is from here... my meds are on the pod”  
Keith wasn’t sure where the pod was from their current point either   
“Wanna come on an adventure to find it?”  
“Not really. I’d rather throw up”  
“So I’m not good enough to go adventuring with now?”  
“You’re plenty good enough. I don’t feel overly “peopley” right now”  
“What am I then?”  
“Keith. You’re Keith. All the people I need”  
“See, you just said I’m “people””  
Lance let out a laugh  
“You’re a douche. Ok. Ok. For you, we’ll go adventuring”  
“Technically it’s for you”  
“Don’t get too technical. My brain has the broke”  
“Your English has “the broke” too. I can carry you, if you’d prefer”  
“Nope. Two feet on the ground feels safer”  
“Says you, all cuddled up in my arms”  
“Shut up. You love my cuddles”  
“They do make it hard to be mad at you for being right. Ugh... I hate being itchy”  
“I hate you being itchy too. I’ll ask Hunk about what was served today. He should be able to figure out what caused the reaction”  
“That’s probably the safest plan. At least we won’t be coming back here”  
“You never know...”

Talking Keith’s jacket off his legs, Lance slowly unfurled from his side with a yawn, before passing Keith’s jacket back to him   
“Don’t even joke about it. This place is supposed to be at war, and everything is just... so clean and neat. Don’t you find it weird? This planet seriously creeps me out”  
“Like I said, this is our last night here. Then we’re free”  
“You might be free, but I’m expensive as hell”  
“No, you’re fine as hell”  
Shooting his husband finger-guns, Lance gaped at him, then gestured to his belly  
“I’m as pregnant as a whale. What are feet? I can’t remember what my feet look like”  
“A cute little whale. Besides, whales don’t have feet”  
“You’re not going to have feet if you agree that I’m a whale again”  
Pouting as he put his hands back on his belly, Keith’s heart skipped a beat as he took a tick to appreciate his husband gorgeous body. Climbing off the stone bench, he was kissing his husband before Lance had time to protest. He was so fucking gorgeous with his pouty lips, tousled hair and prominent belly. If Lance hadn’t been feeling ill, he’d have had him right there bent over the bench. Breaking the kiss, Lance pressed a small peck to his lips  
“I love you, you dork”  
“I love you, too. My fine arse husband”  
“Get off of me you horn dog”  
“What’s that, “get off on me?””  
Lance laughed, bumping Keith with his hip as he did  
“Maybe later. If you’re a good boy”  
“You’re killing me here, babe”  
“You’re not the only one who has to wait”  
Throwing a wink over his shoulder, Lance started walking away. Keith mesmerised by the way his arse filled out his black pants. Fuck... He was so goddamn whipped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. So major shit goes down in the next chapter but it’s also what I’ve had in my head from the very start... whelp. No one said this was a happy fic........... but even in crap times there is happiness to be found. I did promise a happy ending


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 200 kudos. Feeling so loved. 😍😊 Thank you!!
> 
> Now. This chapter has been planned since way back before I even started.

Sitting in the pilots chair Keith was finishing up as he wrapped Lance’s welted wrist to prevent his husband from scratching at it further. His nails had turned the site into a bloody mess as they’d walked, Lance claiming he didn’t notice how badly he’d hurt himself until Keith was cleaning the wound up. Rather than opening their own medical supplies, Keith was his using the supplies on the pod in an attempt to do everything by the book. If the princess lodged some kind of official complaint over their behaviour, Keith would be able to show her the footage of him bandaging Lance’s wrist, and administering the on board antihistamine shot into his husband’s thigh with the injector gun. Kissing the bandage before securing it with a claw clip, Lance rolled his eyes at the action as Keith tried to be romantic about it. Keith didn’t need to look up to his husband’s face to know he had. He knew Lance well enough to know that was how he’d react. Ensuring the bandage was in place, the half Galra rolled Lance’s sleeve back down  
“All done”  
“Thank you. I don’t think I needed a bandage though”  
“You scratched your wrist up. It could have got infected if you’d left it”’  
“I’m fine. You’re worrying too much”  
“You literally said you hated being itchy. Has the shot kicked in?”  
“No. If anything I’m itchier...”  
“I don’t know how long it takes for these kind of things to kick in”  
“Neither do I. I guess all that’s left is to head...”

Lance didn’t get to finish his sentence as their surroundings shook with an ear splitting boom. Rushing from the pod, Keith grabbed his blade from his boot. Ahead of him was a rising plume of smoke, the sky reddening alarmingly before there was another great boom and the ground shook again. Turning back, he found Lance’s on the ground near the pod, both hands on his stomach, torn between the cause of the explosions and his husband, he shook his head slightly before hurrying back to his husband where he threw himself down beside him  
“Babe? Hey, babe?”  
Lance was wheezing, as if he couldn’t breathe. His fingers digging in to his stomach as he let out a gasp   
“Lance?!”  
“Something... something wrong. I can’t... I... ugh... it hurts!”  
“Babe?”  
“Uh... Keith.. it hurts... the twins... something’s wrong... I fell... it hurts... it hurts...”  
“Babe, in a scale of one to five how does it feel?”  
“Hurts... hurts so bad... I need... my meds... somethings wrong...”  
Keith glanced back over his shoulder, the pod wasn’t that far away, but it’s unique signature could probably be detected from a distance   
“... something’s... I think I’m bleeding”  
Doubling over, Lance hissed in pain. In the distance another boom came, accompanied by screams from the people in the temple. They were too exposed like this. Lifting Lance, Keith carried him to the temple wall. Sitting him down as carefully as he could, then taking his husbands face in his hands. Lance was panting like a fish out of water, his grip on his stomach so hard that his fingers were partly white with the effort. Fuck. Fuck. He needed to get Lance’s medication... finding his husband staring past him, Keith shook his shoulders gently   
“Lance?”  
“K... Keith... what’s that?”  
As the sky turned red around them, Keith reacted without thinking. Throwing himself over Lance, rubble flew over the top of them as more people screamed. Counting to ten ticks mentally Keith leaned back to assess his husband. Dust and dirty caused him to cough, his eyes watering as the irritants wafted through the air. Lance was shaking hard, his eyes scrunched up. Keith couldn’t hear much of anything other than the ringing in his ears and screaming. The wall behind Lance was mostly in tact, the openings other side of it were no longer chiselled for perfection, rubble strewn from the temple to the pod.

“Keith! Lance!”  
Supporting Krolia, Curtis had his arm looped around his mother’s waist as he lead her over to them. A deep cut somewhere in his hair line as blood ran down his face. Leaning Krolia up against the remaining wall, his mother was rubbing her stomach as she forced down deep breaths. Fuck. That was right. He had two pregnant people he had to protect. He wanted to stand and rush to his mother’s aid, but Lance was now openly crying as he gripped his stomach... and where the quiznak was Shiro? He couldn’t see his brother. Other people were stumbling out the cloud of debris   
“What happened!?”  
“Lance fell!”  
His ears gave a weird pop as he yelled, Keith suddenly free to hear himself yelling  
“Curtis, you help Lance up. Get mum and him into the pod. I need to go find Shiro”  
Trying to release his hold on his husband, Lance grabbed his arms  
“Don’t go!”  
“Babe, I have to get your medication and I have to find Shiro”  
“Don’t leave me! Please, don’t leave me!”  
“I’ll be right back. Curtis, I need you to get him to safety”  
On his hands and knees, Lance reached for him as Curtis moved to intercept him, Keith’s arms torn through his jacket by his husband’s grip as he freed himself   
“No! Keith! Don’t leave me! Keith!”  
Screaming for him, Keith wanted to give in. But he didn’t know if Curtis was injured further than the blow to head... that’s why he’d changed his orders. If Curtis got Lance to the pod then he could get him his medication to stop whatever was happening due to the fall. He was faster and more mobile than his future brother-in-law. He needed to find Shiro. He needed to make sure his brother wasn’t harmed. He couldn’t lose him on this piece of shit planet... but Lance... His instincts were roaring at him to get his pregnant husband to safety. As the sky started to burn red, everything moved in a blur. Krolia grabbing Curtis by the arm and pulling him around the corner of the wall as Keith threw himself at Lance again. The wall and the side of the temple they were on dissolving into blackness as he was thrown off his feet by the blast. Pain tearing through his body so intensely he felt as if he was being doused in flame. Lasting a handful of ticks he unconscious as he smacked the ground hard, towards the twisted burning pile of metal where the pod had exploded within half a tick of the last blast. Lance thrown with him, both unconscious under the wall fragments.

*  
“Keith!”  
Lance didn’t know how long he was out for, some enormous weight was laying across his body. His stomach had hurt so badly, feeling as if he’d chugged two litres of spoiled milk, each wave of cramping agony. His arm was stretched out, reaching for his husband. The hand that clasped his wasn’t Keith’s, Shiro’s robotic hand curling around his   
“Lance? Lance, can you hear me?”  
Groaning groggily, Lance’s eyes felt glued together with the grot of the dust and debris, never mind his throat   
“Don’t rush it. You’re ok. We’re back on Daibazaal. Kosmo’s on your legs...”  
Groaning, Lance lost the strength to hold his arm up, Shiro bending closer as he lowered Lance’s arm. Trying to open his eyes, his eye lashes stuck, another groan coming from his lips  
“Lance?”  
“Mmm... m’ eyes...”  
“Your face is a bit of a mess. Keep them closer for a tick”

Dampening a tissue, Shiro wiped his gritty eyes clean, Lance grateful for the careful touch. As he’d work, he’d been dying to ask about Keith and his twins... he remembered explosions, and the pain, but had no idea how they ended up on Daibazaal  
“That’s better. You’re probably thirsty too. You’ve been out for the last two quintant. You spent a night in the pod... You came out sooner than we expected...”  
Lance coughed, wishing he could reply properly and not be half choked by the lump in his throat  
“Right. You’re probably thirsty. Hold on”  
Pouring him a glass of water, Shiro stabbed him in the nose with the straw, apologising as he finally got the straw into his mouth instead of up his nose. Knowing the drill, Lance took a couple of small sips before forcing himself not to gulp down the rest. There was a small clink as the older man placed the glass back down. Shiro looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept since the party  
“Shiro... sit...”  
“It’s ok, Lance. I’m fine standing. You have no idea how good it is to see you awake”  
“Ngh... just sit. You’re too tall”  
Reluctantly Shiro sat on the very edge of the infirmary bed, Lance’s hand slapping his thigh as he tried to find Shiro’s hand again. Thankfully Shiro took his hand before he blindly smacked his brother-in-law in the crotch   
“You need to stay still. You’re going to pull your IV line out if you keep moving”  
“You haven’t slept... I can tell...”  
And the only reason Lance was functional at all was because he was high as fuck. He could tell by the lack of pain, and the way his eyes kept shooting open every time they started to slide closed  
“I’m fine, Lance”  
“No... you’re not. ‘ can tell... where’s Curtis?”  
“He’s here. Concussion and minor injuries from rubble. Keith is still in the pod. Kolivan’s somewhere around here too. Krolia went into labour”  
“Is she ok?”  
“For the most part. They’re waiting until after she’s given birth to put her in a pod...”  
“Keith’s gonna be a big brother...”  
“Yeah. You should rest”  
“I’m ok... can’t feel anything bad”  
“That’s because you’re on medication. You’re still under observation. You had a serious bleed. The pod’s stopped it for now, but you need to remain calm and in bed”  
“Don’t want drugs, Shiro... please...”  
“Sorry. I know you don’t. I know, but it’s for the good of your twins”  
Lance appreciated Shiro was trying to answer him, but it was all going through one ear and being caught in his foggy mind without processing  
“Where’s Keith...?”  
“He’s in a pod, Lance. You were too”  
Shiro sounded tired. His back and side look tired... Shiro wasn’t facing him properly, probably because he was so tired   
“You need rest, Shiro. You don’t look good”  
“I will soon”  
“You’re no good if you’re sleepy”  
“You’re the one who should be resting”  
“Curtis will worry if you don’t... where is he?”  
“In the bed next to yours. He hasn’t woken up yet”  
“You should go sleep next to him”  
“I’m going to stay awake until he wakes up”  
“No... you should sleep... you need sleep... where’s Keith?   
“He’s in a pod. You need to get to some sleep”  
Shiro sounded so tired. Lance wasn’t that sleepy. He kept forcing his eyes open for some reason... and something warm was across his waist. Standing up, Shiro moved his arm, then patted the bed, Kosmo crawling up to huff at him as he dropped his head on Lance’s shoulder. Wrapping his arm around his fur son for him  
“Get some rest, Lance”  
Shiro didn’t look back at him as he walked away. Lance letting his head loll sideways so he could see Kosmo. Whining softly, his fur son pushed his nose up to his cheek. He’d missed his dopey boy... if Kosmo was with him, maybe Keith would be there soon? He hoped so... he couldn’t feel anything and he wasn’t sure what to think... He wanted Keith... but he wasn’t able to move to find his husband. He’d have to wait until Keith found him.

*  
Wheeled by Shiro, Lance was confined to a wheelchair if he wanted to go anywhere. Keith was still in the pod, it’d already been one seriously long quintant since he’d woken up. Shiro was dozing in the chair beside his bed, waking when Kosmo yipped happily over Lance coming too. Krolia had asked Shiro to bring Lance to see her when he woke again, that was the only reason he was allowed this slice of freedom. Hitting the hand reader, the door slide open softly. Lance wrinkling his nose at the smell of sterility and disinfectant. Unaware of all the small lies told out of love, the Cuban thought he was going to see Krolia sitting up nursing her new child, instead he got Kolivan holding his child looking out of his depth... in front of Krolia, Curtis and Keith. All suspended in pods behind him. Feeling their sons moving, Lance bit his lip as he looked to his husband behind the glass. He hated pods with a passion. He hated them so fucking badly and now Keith was trapped behind one. His family were all trapped in pods.

“Lance. Shiro...”  
Yep. Kolivan was way out of his depth. He looked as if he’d aged 10 years and not in a good way. Lance might be ready to break down crying at the sight behind him, but he was trying his god damn hardest not to  
“Hey, Kolivan. Congratulations... and who’s this?”  
Kolivan cast a glance to Krolia, before looking back down to his child. There was fondness in his face as he adjusted the blanket around the baby  
“K-... Yora, her name is Yora”  
Kolivan stumbled, Lance catching that there was something there. Yora... so close to “Yorak”... Yorak. The near name of the son of Krolia and her former lover. For that reason, Lance guessed her official name was still being decided  
“Hey, Shiro can you give Kolivan and I a moment?”  
“Lance?”  
Shiro had been “protective” of him, his every move watched by the man. Reaching up, he patted Shiro’s hand  
“I’ll stay in the wheelchair, you don’t need to worry... I have a feeling Krolia left a message for me, and Kolivan’s the one to pass it on. 5 doboshes max...”  
“Kolivan?”  
“I assure you no harm will come to him”  
“Maybe...”  
Shiro didn’t want to let him out of his sight. Lance knew there was more happening than what Shiro had told him. All his questions were met with the request to rest. But there were only so many vargas he could sleep, so many times Kosmo could nuzzle into him before giving him that sad whine because Keith wasn’t there. It wasn’t like his sleep was restful. His dreams were of Keith, so he didn’t want to sleep. He couldn’t get the scene of him screaming for his husband not to leave him from his mind. Of course, if something had happened to Shiro he never would have been able to forgive himself, but now it was obvious that Shiro was physically fine, he was angry that Keith had wanted to leave him... Emotionally... emotionally Lance was sure Shiro was on the same damn ship of depression he was. Feeling just as useless as they were forced to wait for the pods to evict the ones they loved the most  
“5 doboshes. No more than that, you’re not supposed to be out of bed for long... and I promised the medical team I’d monitor you”  
“Kolivan’s like my father-in-law already. Go take shower and get something to eat. I promise I won’t leave this room until you return”  
“I don’t want to be away from you...”  
“Kolivan is capable of hitting the call button if I need help. Go clean up. You’re not much of a silver fox with that greasy hair. I’m pretty sure you’ve still got bits of rubble in there”  
“Not as much as you do... I’m fine, Lance. Maybe we should...”  
Lance shook his head. He wasn’t having it. Shiro wasn’t fine. He wasn’t fine and he was a whole ocean away from being so. Even if he wasn’t fine, he might as well be clean and depressed instead  
“I’m not allowed to shower properly. You are. Now shoo. I’ve got a baby to meet”  
He wasn’t supposed to stand. Again, Shiro dodged his questions... he was getting pretty fed up with it all  
“If I find out...”  
“Not getting out of the chair. Pinky promise. Good hand and all”  
Shiro sighed, Lance not expecting him to kiss the top of his head as he moved his hands off the handles off the wheel chair  
“You’ll call...”  
“Kolivan will call. Now go clean up. Curtis will worry about you if you don’t at least pretend to look presentable”  
He knew he was being cruel using Curtis’s name, but it finally spurred Shiro into moving. He knew he’d hurt Shiro, but he also knew Shiro needed to take a little time to cry out what he was feeling, once he had, he’d be back. The Cuban didn’t need to turn back to know Shiro paused at the door before leaving him and Kolivan alone.

Freed from his “babysitter” Lance wheeled himself carefully over to the chair that had been placed in the room. To him it looked as if it’d been added for Kolivan, or by Kolivan, as it a blanket lay folded neatly on cushion. Being as bad as the rest of them, Lance was confident that Kolivan hadn’t slept since they’d returned  
“I won’t tell Shiro if you don’t”  
Climbing out the chair, he nearly snagged his IV cannula on the way. He’d been freed from the drugs pumped into him for this unplanned trip, so was determined not to be hooked back up any time soon  
“Lance...”  
“It’s fine, Kolivan. I got the feeling you need someone to talk to, and honestly, I could use some honesty too. Here, you look a little out of you depth with Yora”  
Kolivan raised an eyebrow, Lance patting the space beside him as an invitation to sit  
“Krolia said you’d notice that immediately”  
“Mumma K knows us both way too well. I’ve got nieces and nephews and someone in the family was always having a baby, or a friend of a friend was. Kids were always in and out of the house. Plus, I’ve kind of got two on the way...”

Finally sitting beside him, and not before Lance had started to feel stupid for patting he cushion for so long, Kolivan pulled the tip of the blanket back to reveal Yora. The little baby girl was every bit as beautiful as her mother, luckily for her  
“Oh, wow... She’s gorgeous”  
She had the same facial structure as her mum, with her marks. Her wispy hair was white, like her father’s. Tiny hands balled into tiny fists as she scrunched up her eyes, then let out a loud wail. Kolivan seemed startled by the noise. The poor man head over heels in love with his tiny daughter, with no idea how to care for her properly. As far as Lance knew, Yora was his first  
“I’m sorry... She’s been unsettled since Krolia went into the pod”  
“And she said I’d be able to help you out? Pass her to me”  
Passing her over, Kolivan’s size difference was almost comical. Yora seemed to be about the side of his head, all swaddled up carefully in her blue blanket. Supporting her, Lance smiled at the screaming cutie. He could feel his breasts starting to leak again at her crying. He couldn’t help but coo over her, wishing Keith was here to see this   
“I know. I know, it’s so hard when you’re so cute. Yes. Yes... I know, darling girl. Now, has daddy fed you? Or is he waiting for mummy?... oh wait... Are you a smelly little girl? Saved it all for your big brother-in-law? Kolivan, have you got nappies and wipes for her?”  
Yep. It was definitely a nappy change. As adorable as she was, she didn’t smell terribly adorable as cried harder  
“Uh...”  
Poor Kolivan was definitely new to this  
“Kolivan, she needs a nappy change. Did Krolia show you how?”  
“I... she did...”  
“Ok, don’t tell Shiro about this. You go get her things while I lay little miss down. I’ve changed more nappies then I can count”  
“You shouldn’t be exerting yourself”  
“I’m not. Krolia knows I’ve been around babies. She knows you probably need a bit of a helping hand. Plus, this little one makes a nice distraction from Keith being a pod. Don’t you, sweet girl? You look like your mummy, but you’ve got your daddy’s hair”  
Kolivan cleared his throat. Right. He was probably feeling instinctually insecure over having someone else handling his daughter and telling him how to take care of her  
“Don’t worry, I’m talking to her, not you. I’ll talk you through it if that’s better... She’s your little girl, you want to do everything for her. I get it. She’s such a little cutie. Maybe you can impress Krolia with your new skills?”

Lance wished he had photo of Kolivan holding the nappies and wipes. He looked incredibly uncomfortable as he knelt in front of the chair, baby Yora laying on the blanket Lance had moved to cover the cushion with while Kolivan was fetching the supplies. Talking him through how to change a nappy, Lance felt he might as well have been talking Kolivan through how to diffuse a bomb with the level of concentration across his face. Yora wasn’t impressed by it all, while Lance couldn’t keep his eyes off her beautiful little face. Her lilacy-purple skin was something else. She looked so soft and warm, and a little on the chubby side. Kolivan had never had to deal with the black tarry poop of a newborn, the sight cheering him up far more than Shiro had managed to. Getting her changed, Lance talked Kolivan through how to swaddle her back up so she felt safe and warm, grateful to be allowed a second hold while Kolivan cleaned up the mess he’d made. As her cries petered down, her brilliant purple eyes blinked up at him. Lance finally breaking down into tears as he moved his finger so her hand could grip on  
“You’re very skilled with infants”  
“She’s a pup. Krolia taught me that much. But yeah, my big brother Luis and his wife Lisa have two girls and a boy. And my family is kind of massive so I used to baby sit a fair bit. She really is gorgeous, but I have to say, I’m not a fan of the name”  
There was few moments of silence, Lance wondering if he’d pushed too far. He knew Kolivan was also unsure of the name. Sitting back beside him, Kolivan leaned over, almost looming over his baby girl  
“What’s wrong with her name?”  
“It makes you uncomfortable. I know you adore Krolia, and I know you respect her, but I also know that Krolia wanted to call Keith “Yorak”. I kind of feel like it’d be like me calling one of my children “Allura”. I know Keith would be ok with it, but I’d also always wonder if he really was... Does that make sense? I don’t want to sound rude, but I also noticed it before. You hesitated. She’s beautiful, and “Yora” is a pretty name, but I kind of feel it’s not the name you want to give her. Like a name of your own... You can tell me to be quiet if you think I’m being rude, and stuff...”  
Kolivan let out a soft sigh  
“Krolia and I have discussed this”  
“I know you have. Mumma K and I had a talk to... Especially because... well, you know about that favour I asked for. What would you have named her?”  
“I don’t really know. She’s so much smaller than I expected... I’ve never...”  
A flustered Kolivan was kind of sweet and cute in its own way, not that he’d ever say that out loud. It was Krolia’s job to fawn over him  
“What about... Kora? Instead of Yora? It’s close to Yora, but it’s more like... your own? ‘cause it’s like Kolivan, so that’s the “Ko” and “Ra” from Krolia... ok, so it’s not the same, but she’s half of you and half of Mumma K. Keith says I talk to much when I’m tired, so if I’m talking too much then just tell me”  
Even in “New Dad Mode” Kolivan was slightly scary. Lance felt he had to keep talking because Kolivan wouldn’t fill out the gaps in the conversation or initiate it if he didn’t. An awkward silence was likely to kill him right off if Shiro’s worrying was to be believed   
“Kor-ra... Korra... I shall think about it”  
“It’s probably stupid listening to me though. Keith and I are terrible at talking, but you and Krolia talk. She loves you... and you’re supposed to be able to tell the one you love these things. I promise she won’t be mad”

Yeah. He’d definitely overstepped by bringing up the Kolivan wasn’t sure over his daughter’s name. Lance was sure he’d shoot anyone who insulted either of his sons’ names... but someone had to tell Kolivan to talk to Krolia and that it was okay to, that he had rights and that was perfectly okay  
“You’re handling this rather well”  
“Which bit?”  
“All of it”  
Lance snorted, he wasn’t handling things, not at all  
“That’s because no one wants to be honest with me. Every time I ask Shiro what happened, he tells me to rest. I remember the explosions. I remember needing help, but then it all goes black... I know something’s wrong, if it was only a bleed then the pod should have helped... They won’t let me out of bed. They keep pumping drugs I don’t even know into my system. I can’t even look at the pod’s. Keith’s right there, behind the glass and I have no idea when he’s going to wake up. I can’t... I can’t do anything without him. I can’t... I can’t raise our sons without him... How can I make plans for what comes next when I don’t know how long it’s going to be, or if he’s going to be ok. Or what even happened to him when does. I remember Curtis being ok... but he’s in there too and now... Korra helps... How was Krolia? Was she hurt?”  
“Not having all the information always causes issues when strategising ones next move”  
Letting out a sniffled laugh, Lance wasn’t able to picture a more “Kolivan” answer to his feelings if he tried. Kolivan wasn’t good at this whole “feelings” thing   
“Yeah... yeah, it’s like that... Keith says I’m bad at sitting still. He was right... he is right”  
“Is”, not “was”. Keith wasn’t dead. Keith was right there... Trapped. Keith couldn’t talk to him. He couldn’t reassure him. He couldn’t demand answers from Shiro over what happened. He couldn’t feel their twins moving. He... He hadn’t even met his baby sister. 

Wrapping his arm around him, Kolivan’s “hug” lasted a few ticks before they both mentally agreed that it was awkward and the Galra removed his arm from Lance’s shoulder. His skin crawled from the contact, as his stomach rolled. Patting Korra gently on her bottom, he lost his battle to his tears. Keith was supposed to be there to be the third person to meet the little girl. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t quiznakking fair. Why didn’t he get to know what was going on?   
“Please don’t cry...”  
“I’m sorry, Kolivan. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s going on and I hate it”  
“There was an attack on the planet you were visiting”  
“I know that. But Keith and Curtis were both ok. Keith was going to find Shiro... I don’t understand why this had to happen”  
“Keith shielded you from an explosion. You had a fall and started bleeding, then you were thrown in the explosion. You lost quite a large amount of blood, Veronica making the call to prioritise your life over your pregnancy until you could be placed in a pod. Keith was thrown in the same explosion, suffering broken ribs and cracked skull as well as numerous small cuts and abrasions. He had not regained consciousness before being placed in the pod. Curtis suffered a broken femur, protecting Krolia, as well as debris abrasions and concussion. Sudden trauma induced Krolia’s labour, she was monitored through the birth, then placed into a pod after birth. She has been there for 6 vargas now, and is expected to be released tonight. She asked that you be told and brought to meet our daughter. The Shiro’s arm was damaged slightly, but was attended to by Hunk on the scene. Hunk and the previous members of Keith’s team were unharmed, evacuation procedures activated with the first blast”  
“And the twins?”  
“I do not know. Your bleed was profuse. When you were released from the pod so early the assumption would be that your life, and those of you children, are not in immediate risk. I do not have the results of any scans conducted. Shiro is most concerned. He was hesitant to allow you to come here”  
“Don’t take it personally... He... knows a fair bit about my issues... Thank you for telling me... What happened to the inhabitants of the planet?”  
“The Coalition will be offering them no aid. They ordered the attack to solidify the idea that they were in desperate need of military strength. Our alliance with them had become null”

Lance blinked a handful of times as the words sank in. They’d angered the princess so much she’d done something incredibly stupid and reckless. She could have lost her own life in the process, not to mention the lives of her people... and the lives of their friends and team mates. It was her fucking fault that his family had been hurt. He shoot have shot her and Krystaal when he’d had the damn chance  
“Will they be punished?”  
“No. They caused this issue and they must be the ones to sort it out in their own terms. They weren’t alone in planning this attack. Rather, they were approached during the tour and offered a large sum of resources for their cooperation in a similar plan. Having already set their initial plan in motion, the request was accepted. The ruling family admitted the circumstances with some gentle persuasion from the Coalition leaders. Harming three former Paladin’s and risking a forth has not failed well for their interplanetary relations”  
“So there was a leak in the group. Do you know who it was?”  
“We have two suspects in custody. One claims they did not mean for it to go this far. The second refuses to talk”  
Lance knew he was going to sound paranoid and possibly like a jealous husband scorned, but he had to know  
“Was it Krystaal? He left the party for an extended period of time... after pulling some bullshit with Keith”  
“He will not speak”  
Confirmation. Lance’s shoulders slumped as he closed his eyes. He’d known Krystaal was a piece of shit, but to go that far... Why the quiznak couldn't he have been blown up?  
“Shiro knows about him being detained, doesn’t he?”  
“He does”  
That meant everyone other than Keith and Curtis knew. Keith was going to be crushed all over again, in a completely different way  
“He hasn’t said anything at all?”  
“No. He’s kept his silence. His quarters have been thoroughly searched. Nothing incriminating was found in the room. On his person we found various recordings taken through the tour. There is also another issue. Your confession has been sent to a variety of media outlets. It confirms you killed Klearo. Some facts have been released regarding his dealings with child trafficking and extortion. Generally it has been accepted that he deserved his death, at least through the Galra empire it has. Some are calling it a lie to cover the murder. Some are also questioning why he was not brought before a jury for a public trial. A video of Krystaal and Keith sharing a kiss was also submitted, as were photos of Shiro comforting Keith. There has been backlash against what went to print. Yours and Keith’s popularity took a slight dip in some sectors, yet for the most part, you are both still seen in a favourable light”  
Now he was starting to shake. Korra didn’t appreciate his mood change, Lance passing her over to her father as she started to cry. Clenching his fists, he pushed them against his eyes   
“I’m going to shoot him. I’m going to shoot him in the goddamn dick. He’s ruined Keith’s life enough. Keith’s as thick as a bag of bricks when it comes to realising someone has taken an interest in him. We all saw the way they were. The way Krystaal was... He fucked Keith right over. He thought they were friends. He probably even thought they were more than that. Fuck. Shit. I need to stop swearing in front of the baby... Quiznak...”  
Realising how upset he was growing, Lance forced down a slow deep breath, following with a second then third. He couldn’t shoot Krystaal if he threw a seizure right now   
“Perhaps it is time I called Shiro to collect you...?”  
“I want to stay”  
“Lance...”  
“It’s a... When one of us was in a pod, we always tried our hardest to have someone waiting for them to wake up... I want to wait for Keith. He’d wait for me...”  
“Keith would wish you to rest”  
“I want to stay. He... he thought I would dump him because Krystaal kissed him. He was in tears, scared I’d abandon him. Not being here feels like I am”  
“I shall remain. As shall Korra and Krolia once she is released. To Keith you are his most important person”  
That was because they were a couple of idiots completely and totally in love with each other... but then Keith had chosen Shiro over him... Lance didn’t want that to be their last memory  
“He’s mine too... Don’t ever forget to tell the ones you love that you love them everyday. If he... the last time... I was screaming at him not to leave me to go find Shiro... It hurt so bad and he still left me... he wouldn’t even stay when I was losing the twins... some important person I am”  
“I’m going to call Shiro. You are visibly growing more distressed. It is best you do not think of such things as a measure of his love for you”

Lance took that to be Kolivan’s polite way of telling him to shut up. Kolivan was the leader of the whole damn empire. He didn’t need Lance’s snivelling whining. If he’d been the Galra man, he probably would have kick himself out too. No wonder Shiro didn’t want him to be here alone. Everywhere he went, he always had to take it too far and ruin everything for the people around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did change it slightly. Originally they were going to be in their bedroom fighting over Krystaal kissing Keith. Keith was gonna got him to the tree line where Lance begged him not to leave. I’m following the very similar path of what my head told me came next with that one... so... whelp...
> 
> Then I thought about Curtis acting on Lance’s feelings over the whole “war thing”, and having him and Lance leave to scout more into while the pod Shiro, Keith and Krolia was shot down.
> 
> Then I also thought about Curtis being electrocuted or the crystal in Shiro’s arm being dislodged.
> 
> And finally Krolia being hurt and Keith being distant as he tried to fill her shoes.
> 
> Sooo what comes next is actually what I’ve had planned for phoebs and maybe have cookies and tissues prepared?
> 
> And another thing. Shout out to my peeps for the helps. You know who you are my awesome readers.


	45. Chapter 45

Lance didn’t see it as running away. “Running away” suggested he could run, not simply rolling himself around in the wheelchair that Shiro insisted he use until he was safely out of sight. He hadn’t given up his baby sitting duties, not once Krolia was released from the pod, nor when Curtis was released. His friends were all being overly careful not to mention Keith’s status. A status that had only sent him into a deeper pit of depression. After a movement in the damn pod, Keith had finally been released. Lance should have been happy, his husband was released after all... only, he hadn’t woken. One quintant ticked into the next, then the next... and the next, and into a whole new movement. Keith had been left in a coma, despite being placed into a pod within vargas of the attack. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He could touch him. He could hold him, but no matter what he did, Keith wouldn’t respond. Now Lance was striking out on his own... through a series of what Keith would call “bad choices”. First came disregarding Shiro’s insistence that he rest. Keith was moved into the same room as him and Curtis, and after what had felt like a movement of hellish torment, all he’d wanted to do was curl up with his husband. At the time, no one had predicted that Keith wouldn’t rouse from his stint in the pod. Cuddling into him, Lance had been determined to be there when he woke. Then when Keith hadn’t, he’d gone slightly mad... slapping his unconscious husband hard across the face when he refused to wake up and show him those deep amethyst eyes he loved so dearly. Shiro had pulled him off, ordered him to sleep in his own bed, livid with him for his actions. That was when he started planning. Feeling guilty that his boyfriend had woken when Keith hadn’t, Lance had managed to get his comms returned to him by manipulating that guilt uncomfortably, he’d then called through to obstetrician and okayed the surgery that he hadn’t wanted when Keith was there to babysit him and keep a watch for any symptoms he may miss. Surrounded by friends and family, he shouldn’t have felt as alone in his pregnancy as he did. Without Keith to ground him, he felt lost and reckless. He had no idea what to do or what choices to make. He didn’t have the right words to make everyone around him feel better. Pity was plastered on the face of everyone who’d visited him, Zethrid and Ezor were no exception to that. No one wanted to look him in the eyes, leaving him feeling like he was a leper shunned from society. Shay has tried to perk him up by finally asking what an Earth wedding was like, that soon came to an end when Shiro shooed her off “because Lance needs his rest”. He didn’t need rest. He didn’t want rest. He didn’t want Shiro pestering him over if he wanted Coran or Miriam to come stay with him while he was confined to his hospital room. His Mami had made it very clear that she wanted him to come back to Earth while Keith lay there comatose. Veronica had explained everything to her, he could see it in her eyes as when they’d spoken. The way she paused that fraction of a tick too long as she tried not to reveal the truth of the matter to him. Everywhere he looked was another “betrayal”. None more so than his husband who refused to wake up.

“Sneaking” out the infirmary as everyone slept wasn’t easy. Shiro heard the creaking of the wheelchair when he’d climbed out of bed jolting awake mid-snore to ask where he was going, Lance smoothly lying as he stated he was going to pee. His catheter had been removed when they finally let him shower himself, and he wasn’t afraid of blood so his IV cannula was soon removed too. They were someone else’s problem. With the bathroom next to the room’s door, Shiro didn’t move from Curtis’s side as the door let out its usual soft whoosh. Kosmo’s nails clicked on the stone flooring as his fur son stayed by side. Once sure that his footsteps wouldn’t arouse suspicion, he climbed from the wheelchair only for Kosmo to growl at him until he sat down again. His wolf was a dirty rotten traitor, but he also knew how well loved he was and how to use those big puppy dog eyes on him. Rising slower, Kosmo growled again, his mouth finding Lance’s hand in an attempt to stop him  
“I know. I know, Kosmo. I have to go. It’s for the sake of the twins”  
Kosmo may be the dumbest wolf in the universe, but that was only when he wanted treats and pats. Lance knew he understood everything perfectly. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t react to situations he did. Whining at him, Lance ruffled the fur between his ears  
“I know you don’t like it, but it needs to be done... I can’t stay here. It’s... it hurts too much. I keep waiting for your dad to wake up, but he’s left me here and I can’t go with him or to where he is... I’m not strong enough to keep watching over him like this... he won’t wake up... no matter what I do...”  
Kosmo whined at him, not happy he’d left the company of the others but Lance had made up his mind. He was falling apart from the inside out. He knew he was breaking in an entirely different way and to stay would only cause troubles.

Creeping through the corridors, Lance headed to Keith’s quarters. He had clothes at the outpost, but he needed his work comm back. Shiro hadn’t let him have that one, so when Krolia had lent him her comms to show him a video of Kolivan sitting up and snoring with Korra asleep in his arms, he’d set up permission for him to take a pod and have wormhole to Erathus opened. He felt guilty betraying her, yet he’d never get off the damn planet if he hadn’t. Opening the door to Keith’s quarters, he jumped visibly as he was caught in the act. Krolia was sitting on Keith’s bed, Korra and Kolivan not there to witness his shame  
“I had a funny feeling I’d be seeing you tonight”  
Rubbing his stomach to hide how much Krolia had scared him, Lance stared at his baby bump, suddenly fascinated with the fabric of his plain black top  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I was notified you’d left the infirmary. I’m well aware of the arsenal that Keith keeps under his bed. I cannot allow you see Krystaal in your current state of mind”  
Krolia thought he was going to see Krystaal? Dios knew he wanted to. He wanted to shoot the arsehole in the face, but he was smart enough to know that he couldn’t get down there to see him without everyone knowing  
“Who said I wanted to see him?”  
“Lance...”  
Lance shot her a glare. He was tired of all this tiptoeing around  
“Krolia”  
“You should be resting...”  
“I’m done with resting. I’m sick of that room”  
“You haven’t...”  
“I haven’t what, Krolia? Go on. Tell me what I haven’t done. Tell me what I don’t know. I’m done Krolia”  
“Lance, Keith wouldn’t want you...”  
“He wouldn’t want what?! He wouldn’t want me talking to Krystaal? He wouldn’t want me talking to the piece of shit who put him in a fucking coma?! He wouldn’t want me being treated like I’m made of glass? What am I supposed to do? He might never wake up! And none of you are treating me...”  
“We’re worried about you. You were doing so well. Then you took my comms and scheduled a wormhole to Erathus. What were you going to do? Kill Krystaal? Take him hostage? He’s not talking to anyone”  
Lance let out a bitter laugh, twisted with a touch of madness  
“Of course this has to be about Krystaal. You couldn’t imagine it being about anyone else, could you? I was doing well? You mean I was keeping my damn mouth fucking shut and letting all of you decide everything for me. Tell him the damn truth, Krolia. Keith won’t wake up. He might never wake up. He’s as good as dead”

Flying off the bed, Krolia stormed over to him, slapping him across the face. Shocked, Lance clutched his cheek, tears welling and rushing to roll down his face  
“I’m disgusted how little you believe in him”  
“That sounds about right. I’ve always been disgusting. The only difference is that now you all have Keith to explain it away. Poor Lance. Who do we pass him onto now that Keith’s up and gone? We can’t leave him alone. We can’t let him make his own decisions or even let him leave the planet to see his obstetrician. No. He’s a murderer. Obviously he’s planning the murder of Krystaal! Everything has to always be about Krystaal!”  
“You’re the one obsessed with Krystaal! Your medical care has been transferred here”  
“You decided that! Keith knew that wasn’t what I wanted. He knew! I’m brain damaged, not stupid. I know I can’t see him. You all this in too fucking fragile too handle it! None of you trust me. I’m done with being treated like this!”  
“You’re the one...”  
“Don’t you dare turn this back on me because you can’t make him talk! Hack his memories. Inject him with a truth serum. Torture him! Do something fucking more than acting like you care when all you care about is the fact I’m carrying your grandchildren! Rest. You all tell me to rest because I’m pregnant. You tell me to rest because of the twins! Don’t get out of bed because it’s bad for them!”  
Krolia grabbed his left wrist so hard he felt as if it was bruising immediately  
“You think it’s that easy. I have never seen you act so childish”  
“You’re hurting me!”  
Growling at Krolia, Kosmo raised his hackles. When Krolia shot him a glare, his cowardly fur son sat, though he kept his teeth bared.

“What’s going on here!”  
“Let me go!”  
Saint Shiro had found him far too fast, Krolia also seemed surprised that a former Black Paladin’s presence  
“I’m taking Lance to see Krystaal. He seems to think we’re all relaxing while Keith remains unresponsive”  
Tugging at his wrist, he couldn’t get free of Krolia’s hold. Part of him was seriously starting to panic with his plans being so thoroughly unrailed  
“Let him go, Krolia”  
If anything, Krolia’s hold tightened causing him to whimper  
“He’s given up on Keith. He used my comms to approve a wormhole off planet”  
Krolia was so angry that Kosmo growled at her again, pawing towards him as he didn’t know what to do with two of his humans fighting  
“Lance? You were planning on leaving?”  
Shiro sounded hurt. Great. Just fucking great  
“He was planning on taking his revenge of Krystaal then leaving. He’s given up on Keith. He said we should tell Krystaal Keith is dead”  
“No I wasn’t! I told you it had nothing to do with him! Let me go!”  
Shiro caged him in from behind, reaching around him, his fingers started prying Krolia’s hand off his wrist  
“Then what were you doing? You never planned on coming back from the bathroom, did you”

As Shiro’s hands start trying to free his wrist, Krolia let go. Lance clutching his wrist to his chest, with Shiro continuing to remain behind him  
“Lance? What were you planning on doing?”  
“I have an appointment with my obstetrician... I wanted to go to my appointment but none of you cared about what I want. You took it upon yourselves to decide all of this and to tell me nothing. At least Kolivan as honest with me. He told me what was going on... I came to get a few things because I wanted to do this on my own. I can’t keep watching him sleep. He won’t wake up... I can’t wake him up”  
“Lance... you could have talked to us”  
“You keep telling me to rest. You keep talking at me...”  
“Shiro, his medical care has been transferred here, to us”  
Shiro knew his issues with previous obstetrician. He also knew how happy they were to have found someone who treated him like a human  
“Krolia, let Lance talk. Lance, you have an appointment?”  
Lance nodded, Krolia shifted her weight causing him to bump back into Shiro who placed his hands on his shoulders  
“She was... my doctor was formulating a plan to help with the bleeding, if I was still bleeding. And with my medication... and stuff. You know what it was like... but she was confident. We liked her. We were supposed to be planning things together. She tells me the truth”  
“You should have told us. You can’t go running off when things get to hard”  
“Krolia, that’s enough. Lance, you can’t leave on your own. Did you call anyone to meet you there?”  
“How could I when none of you let me have any privacy?”  
Shiro sighed deeply. Yeah, Lance was going to hold onto his anger over that. They’d all treated him exactly how he hated to be treated, except for Kolivan but he was Krolia’s partner so it’d be weird not to be slightly mad at him... but he wasn’t mad at him the same time. The man was more awkward than Keith had ever been  
“You’re not going on your own”  
“Then I’ll call Daehra. I can’t do this Shiro, I’m not as strong as you. I can’t sit here and wait for my husband to maybe wake up... He left me... He wanted... I was bleeding and he chose you... I could feel it and he chose you... when I begged him not to go. If I’d been stronger he... he wouldn’t have had to shield me. He wouldn’t be like this! This is my fault... all my fault. Please... please let me go. I need to know what’s happening with his babies”

Shiro forced him into a tight hug. Still scared from Krolia’s outburst and his throbbing wrist. Disappointment had clouded her expression, he felt sick to the stomach from being the cause of it  
“Why do you always keep it inside until it comes to this? I can take you. Curtis is awake, watching over...”  
“No. Dios... I don’t want a baby sitter! I don’t need a baby sitter. I want to go. I need to go”  
“Lance, you can’t. What if you had a seizure? What if no one was there and something went wrong?”  
“Then it happens... if Keith isn’t awake, then what does any of this matter? Everything is broken and once again I came second best to you. We can’t compete with you...”  
Each word was a spiteful barb aimed at Shiro’s heart. He was lashing out with words he didn’t want to say but had no way of stopping them now that he’d snapped. He didn’t care if he died mid-surgery. He could be a good father to their sons without him. He couldn’t even take care of himself as they’d all proven  
“... I want to go back home. Back to my outpost. I want to go back to where I don’t feel like this... I want my brother... I want Marco... I can’t keep walking on eggshells like this. You won’t let me see, Krystaal. You won’t let me get any kind of closure over why he had to hurt Keith like that... or why he betrayed everyone”  
Marco would help him figure this out. Veronica worries too much, as did his Mami. Marco worried but he worried in the right ways... not this “lock down and wrap him in cotton wool” quiznak style everyone else was employing. He didn’t know he’d wanted Marco until he’d said it...  
“Krolia, you can return to your quarters. Keith and Lance both decided they were going to Erathus for help with Lance’s pregnancy. Lance had a pretty rough time on Altea, Keith was scared yet excited for his next scan. We need to respect his decision on his pregnancy. However, Lance, you’re not going to get any answers from Krystaal. I can take you to see him, but he hasn’t spoken. In return for taking you, Daehra, and Marco will be required to meet you on Erathus, where I will deliver you into their care myself, and you’ll take Kosmo. He knows when you’re stressing and knows when a seizure is coming on. Keith would want him with you. Also, I want you to see Keith before you leave. I want you to be sure of this. He will wake up. Is there anything here you want to bring him?”

With Krolia in their space, angered by him and his actions, their safe space felt tainted. He knew how stressful being a mum could be, he’d seen it in Lisa and his cousins. Plus she had an empire to run and a son in a coma... and it’d been 25 years since the first time around... There were lots of things he wanted to take to Keith. The blade he kept under his pillow. Keith’s own pillows and his favourite blanket. His own clothes. Photos... ultrasound scans... the thought of them felt like they were making a shrine around Keith’s bed... but...  
“There’s a box in his bedside drawer. He’d want that...”

Inside the box was Krolia’s memories of Keith and his father. Keith had needed a little time to sort through the box and find the words he wanted, before he’d finally opened up to him. Laying in bed, cuddled up in Keith’s arms with his back to Keith’s warm chest, his husband had pulled the small pile of photographs out from under his pillow. Lance had no idea that Keith had kept them there. Keith didn’t remember everything from his childhood, no ever did from that age and there came a point where you hear a story so many times that you fool yourself into having that memory, but he’d started talking. Those days when his father would burn dinner spectacularly so they’d settle down and eat cereal while watching cartoons. The times his dad would come stinking of smoke, only to pick him up onto his hip and place his helmet on his head. The times Keith tried to help in the kitchen, sitting on the kitchen bench and bossing his father about. They weren’t all good memories. Memories triggered more memories like an earthquake before a tsunami. Keith growing restless and annoyed at his own tears, spluttering apologies while rolling Lance onto his back and shimmying down to talk to his stomach, telling their twins about their grandfather while Lance played with his hair. His husband content to nuzzle and kiss his stomach as he spoke slowly moving from his father to Shiro, then to meeting him. He was grateful for the memories, though confused and unsure at some points as he’d talked about photos and places. Lance let him talk, for what felt like vargas before his husband finally moved back up to lay by his side, one leg thrown over Lance’s as they shared small and soft kisses. Keith finally able to open up about his life, and his fears of leaving their twins behind. Now he had. Lance wasn’t stupid over how much everyone missed Keith’s presence but they also didn’t need him like he needed his husband. Everyday was a struggle to exist without Keith. He relied on him so heavily to simply be there that without him it was like losing half his body and soul. 

“Just the box?”  
“Yeah... yeah. He’ll understand”  
Bit by bit Keith had left him in, let him fix the pain in his heart until he accepted that his father would be proud of him. More than one nightmare of losing his father had followed, Keith tearfully admitting he missed him beyond words. Lance had promised him that wherever he was, he’d always be watching over him. Having been in space, he’d learned anything was possible... so maybe heaven and hell were a possibility too, or some form of it. He’d told him how his father would be watching over him the same way he’d watch over the twins if anything were to happen. Keith had called him an idiot, but he’d take being an idiot any day of the movement if it meant being there for his husband  
“Alright. I’ll get the box. Do you need anything from in here?”  
“Just the bathroom...”  
“Ok. You go clean up while I get the box and call Daehra. Krolia, I think it’s best you leave now. I’ll check in once Lance is on Erathus”  
Krolia looked to him, but Lance didn’t have the words to say. He felt scared of her. Scared of her and her disappointment all over again. To him it felt as if their relationship had been sent right back to square one. She loathed weakness. He was nothing but weak in her eyes now...

Led to see Keith before seeing Krystaal, his husband continued to sleep as Lance kissed him goodbye. His tears dripping onto his husband’s cheeks faster than he could wipe them away, whispers of love against Keith’s lips, even if his idiot husband didn’t deserve it. He didn’t want to leave him behind but he needed space to breathe and to figure out how to live without him all over again. He didn’t know his left from his right with how overwhelmed he was. He loved Keith. He loved him more than all the words he knew to describe his feelings. He couldn’t stop crying as he pulled away from him. Shiro would take over the exercises to stop atrophy from forming, Krolia would take over bathing him. Curtis would read to him, he promised that much as Lance drew in on himself. They had this handled. They didn’t need him there. Tears were still rolling down his face as Shiro led him through the palace. Lance wasn’t sure he knew what he was going to say to Krystaal, he’d given up on having the chance to see him with everyone watching his every move. He still wanted to shoot him in the foot... and slowly move his shots upwards... He also wanted to punch him right his self-centred arseholic face. He also wanted to take the Telula and pick that princess up for a nice long talk, or maybe just launch her out the air lock as she hovered in orbit over her damaged planet.

Reaching the entrance to the cells, Shiro confirmed he had Krolia’s permission with the Galra guiding the hallway. He was mammoth in size, even compared to someone like Sendak, a chill ran down Lance’s spine as he tried to draw away from the man and his strange scent. Pregnancy had made scents a hundred times worse for him, yet with Keith by his side he’d worked hard not to be so scared of each individual Galra’s differing scent. After coping Krolia’s anger, his anxiety left him shaken, and had the man gone to shake his hand he probably would have thrown up on him, or fainted. Both seemed as likely as each other. His skin was already starting to itch with the memory of phantom and unwanted touches by Galra just as big as this guard. A whimpered growl escaped when Shiro placed his hand on his shoulder to silently reconfirm that he wanted this. He didn’t. But he did. He wasn’t sure this was going to help anything, and all it was doing was fuelling the anger he was trying not to give into. He was supposed to be off of Daibazaal by now. He had no idea how much time had passed, but he was sure he’d be cutting it fine in regards to his appointment time. Gnashing his teeth together, Lance was forced to breathe through his nose as he gently pushed forward into a hall of unremarkableness. It’s sterile and cold grey walls were surely enough to drive any prisoner to talking if more traditional methods didn’t work. The walk it’s self was short, only a handful of violet bars flickering through Lance’s peripheral visions before Krystaal was before them. 

Sitting on the floor of his cell, Krystaal seemed to be in a mediative pose as Lance and Shiro stood before him. Having had a run in with the same bars previous he knew they’d deliver a small shock if he was to get too close. Hesitant as he raised his gaze from Krystaal’s crossed legs, the first thing he noticed was the carved “y” on his arm. The design crude, cut from the man’s fingernails and bloodied to deliver the full effect. With how Krystaal was posed, and the lingering hues of blood in the air, Lance was pretty confident in his guess that Krystaal had “touched up his work of art” once he’d caught their scents in the hall. He’d thought maybe his infatuation with Keith had caused him to go to such lengths but he’d clearly gone off the deep end  
“We’ve come to inform you that Keith passed away approximately three vargas ago, having never regained consciousness”  
Shiro’s hand tightened on his shoulder, Lance forcibly removing his hand. No one would stoop so low as to play this hand, no one but him. Everyone else was too damn “noble”, yet Lance found nothing noble about Krystaal’s actions and acted without guilt clouding his conscious. He wanted to hurt Krystaal. He wanted to cut him bone deep  
“He sustained catastrophic brain trauma from the last explosion to hit the temple. He was placed into a pod, but the pod cannot restore a brain dead patient. He was held in status until it was ensured that both of his children will live, then removed to be prepared for burial. He also told me about your kiss, and how disgusted it made him feel... to the point he threw up at the memory of your lips against his. Unlike you, my husband was brave, honorable and courageous. He came to me straight after the incident to confess what had happened. He considered you a friend. He took pride in your training and skills. He couldn’t understand what provoked you to kiss him, only that it shattered any and all ties between you the moment it happened. He is dead as a direct result of his actions because you were petty. You will never lay your eyes or hands on him again, nor will you be granted permission to attend his funeral. His children will grow up without their father because of you, and we will go on our with our lives, forgetting you existed. We have no hate for you, only pity. Your actions cost the life of one of the hopes of the universe and for that you will stay locked in here. Banishment is too good for you. The princess already admitted her part in the plan, you’ve been shamed across the galaxy for your attempts to ruin Keith’s life and memory. If you think that mark on your arm scares me, it doesn’t. How could an uneducated half breed as yourself understand what that mark ever meant? I hope you enjoy what crippled freedom you think you retain. And I hope the memory of Keith’s kiss sustains you, is branded on your soul like a brand from an iron. Because your kiss sentenced him to death. I’m done here. I only came to tell you that my husband is gone”

Krystaal’s need for superiority overruled his held tongue. Lance knew he loathed him every bit as much as he did Krystaal  
“If Keith was dead, you wouldn’t have come down here to see me. You’re not that kind hearted, Lance”  
“You’re right. I’m not. I’m a murderer who’s killed a lot more people for less than what you’ve done. Keith, on the hand, was. I’m telling you for his sake”  
“Why would I believe anything you say?”  
“No one said you needed to believe me, but the fact you broke your silence means your worried that it’s true. You’re not the strong silent schemer you thought you were. There’s no strength in holding your tongue when the object of your insane and petty jealousy is no longer around. I’m leaving Keith’s here with his family, and don’t see myself returning. My children and I, my family, will be returning to live in the place he wanted to settle down in. I don’t care what you think, I’m done with you. We’re all done with you”

The human mind was amazing when it wanted to be. The coldness Lance projected stilled his racing heart and dries his tears. Everything he’d felt up until that point seemed to vanish away as his face settled on a rather neutral expression. None of this meant anything particularly. He felt no stab of pain in his heart as he described Keith as gone... just a kind of emptiness where that pain should be. Turning, he started to walk away from the cell  
“Don’t you walk out on me! You didn’t deserve him! You ruined him! I’m glad he’s dead! Being hated by him to the very depths of his soul means I was never far from his mind in his last thoughts. You’re nothing but a murderer and a whore. A piece of shit stuck to the bottom of his boot! He told me he didn’t even wish for you children! He didn’t wish to be entwined that way with you. He very rarely spoke of you until you returned to ruin him. You might believe he loved you, but if he hated me as you say, then I was in his thoughts as he died and that ultimately means I meant more to than you. You’re an abomination of nature. It’s laughable that you were ever a Paladin”  
“You know, for a guy who you say you hate, you seemed to love talking about me. You seemed to really love stalking me. Slandering me across the intergalactic media. Yet, you still mean nothing to me. Klearo means more to me than you. So maybe that means you’re simply so insignificant that I’m going to forget you the moment I walk out the door. You went after “Daibazaal’s Shining Prince”. You have no friends left in the universe, no, they already confessed when they learned of Keith’s condition”  
“Keith should have been with his own kind!”

Continuing to walk, each step grew a little easier as the weight on his shoulders lessened. He wouldn’t be surprised if Shiro called to tell him Krystaal had taken his own life sometime over the next few quintants. Keith would grieve, because his husband was a caring idiot, but Lance... he held no sympathy for him. He’d ruined their lives for nothing. Now Keith was in a coma with Lance left to pick up the pieces of the life they’d planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo next comes a time skip of sorts... we’re nearing the end. Though I’m not quite sure where I’m going to end this...


	46. Chapter 46

“Shiro, it’s Marco... We need to talk about Lance”

Five simple words shouldn’t have had the effect they did on Shiro’s heart. Having delivered him to Erathus for his appointment, Lance had immediately sought out Marco as the two brothers stood holding each other in the crowded space port. Lance’s mind was all over the place, and if Shiro was honest he was glad Lance hadn’t talked to him since they’d left Krystaal’s cell. The man he saw as his younger brother had trampled all over his feelings with his declaration of Keith’s death, Shiro understanding where Krolia’s anger had come from with how certain Lance was that Keith was now lost to them. He’d hoped once his worry for his twins had been addressed, Lance would see that leaving Keith behind was a mistake. He’d even sat in his pod at the space station, waiting for news of the appointment on the off chance that Lance wanted a lift back to Daibazaal. He hadn’t. He hadn’t even told him that the he’d scheduled surgery in regards to his pregnancy. Maybe hiding the increased bleed from Lance hadn’t been the right call, but the whole situation was mess. Lance had been in and out of it for days as he’d fussed over Keith. Some days better than others until the fire inside of him seemed to fizzle out. That’s why he’d agreed to let him do this. To let him talk to his obstetrician. Krolia losing her temper at him had caused Lance to shut down further, it’d felt almost as if a stranger had been the one declaring Keith was dead. The way Lance carried himself with an air of indifference worried him. Then Daehra had called. Daehra was the one to inform him that Lance was having surgery and would be returning to outpost with them instead of Daibazaal. He’d been so tempted to ask to be there with Lance. He was attached to the two tiny lives growing inside of him, and he was sure he would have been just as attached if Keith hadn’t been the father. Without Keith, Lance seemed to give up far too quickly... and without Keith, Shiro didn’t know what to do for him. He wasn’t his lover, nor was he Lance’s husband. He was no longer sure of how he fitted into Lance’s life, especially when Lance broke contact with them. Now Marco was calling. Calling to inform him that something was wrong... How Shiro wished he hadn’t seen that coming.

Kissing his forehead, Curtis gifted him with a soft smile. A smile of understanding. His boyfriend was devastated by what had happened that night. Worrying both for Lance, and for Keith when finally woke. It’d already been a little over a movement and half... no, two movements since Lance had left in the middle of the night. Hunk was devastated to find him gone without saying goodbye, but he also seemed to understand that Lance had only been getting worse in their care. Mouthing at him that he’d wait outside, Curtis’s soothing presence slipped from his side. As far as Shiro knew, Lance’s last contact had been to Curtis instead of him  
“Sorry, Marco. Curtis was giving us some privacy. How can I help you?”  
“Can we switch to video? I really need some advice”  
“Sure”

The video connected, Marco looking exhausted as he ran a hand through his hair. When he’d embraced Lance, it’d been with a smile, now his lips were drawn into a thin line with deep black bags under his eyes  
“Thanks for taking the call. I didn’t know what to do”  
“What’s wrong?”  
Tilting the camera on the comms past himself, Shiro could see Kosmo laying next to what had to be Lance   
“Lance has relapsed hard. Daehra mentioned a similar thing happened when he found out he was pregnant and I was hoping you’d be able to tell me how you convinced him to... take care of himself”  
“What do you mean relapsed?”  
“Not the drugs, or alcohol. Not that I know of at any rate. He’s... he’s stopped eating, everything he was eating he was throwing back up, even the allergen free things. His nightmares are out of control. He’s been sleeping walking and having panic attacks when anyone gets too close to him. I walked in on him about a movement ago begging Allura to leave him alone. He was throwing up. I don’t know if he was nauseous or if he was purging. He won’t let anyone touch him, that causes him to panic. He seemed to be doing better when he was working the bar, but something snapped overnight. He won’t talk to any of us, now he just wants to sleep... I found him this morning with bleeding hands and no idea what happened. He was so confused as he stared down at them. It was as if he had no memory of cutting them. Daehra was able to patch him up after he fainted from the blood. We’ve done a clean through of his room. Kosmos been teleporting me in every time he seems to think Lance is upset. He was managing to pull himself back from his panic attacks. We did have to tie him up after he tried to go a customer, not that that did anything. Kosmo. Not Lance. Lance is way too attached to his bar. He won’t listen to anyone other than Lance”  
Shiro took a slow deep breath through his nose, as he closed his eyes. The outpost was supposed to be good for Lance’s mental health. He’d thought he’d moved past these episodes. Releasing the breath as slowly as he’d drawn it, he opened his eyes again  
“How long has Lance been with you now? Times different over there”  
“Just on three and a half weeks... movements. Space time is movements... I think. Like I said, he was doing better, then all at once he relapsed. He’s my little brother. He might be a shit head, but that doesn’t mean I want him like this”  
“Keith still hasn’t woken. The last time he was like this, Keith was the one who brought him back. Curtis and I have both tried to push back returning to full time active duty, but with incident, the Coalition is still busy reviewing what happened and drawing up new stipulations to prevent it happening again. Have you tried talking to Veronica?”  
“She’s stuck in a hard place. Acxa agrees that Lance shouldn’t have left Daibazaal. Veronica wasn’t particularly pleased”  
“I know that much... but I don’t know how to help him. Mami insists he come home... I don’t think that would go over well with Luis and Rachel. Luis is shaken over this, while Rachel doesn’t know what to say. They’re both concerned about him. We’re all concerned about him, but he’s shut us all out”

Shiro wasn’t supposed to be taking leave. The Coalition wanted to know his whereabouts at all time, lest he think of getting revenge for Keith’s current status... Still, he didn’t want to fail Lance again. He didn’t want to explain to Keith when he woke that Lance was gone, or that he’d lost the twins after coming so far. For Lance it approached 6 weeks that Keith had been unconscious. Maybe it wasn’t the right choice to let Lance be gone for so long? If he continued to stay at the outpost, they ran the risk of him going into labour before Keith woke. Keith and Lance would both be devastated if that happened. Both of them deserved happiness...  
“He can’t stay there. Something has obviously happened, and the longer he’s there is the longer he’s waiting for Keith to wake. Can you pack a bag for him. Include some baby clothes, blankets, whatever you think he’ll need, I’m going to organise a safe place for him to go until he gives birth”  
“Are you... will he...”  
The guilt on Marco’s face echoed how Shiro felt. Lance had returned “home”, pulled himself together, then suddenly fallen apart. He was hurting and there was no way he was going to let that continue. Marco felt as if he’d failed his brother, ill equipped to deal with Lance’s headspace. Not that anyone other than Keith seemed to be able to do or say the right things  
“He’ll be safe. I won’t bring him back here. He’d only spend all his time fussing over Keith if I did”  
Not that he knew where Lance would feel safe and comfortable. Shiro knew he wouldn’t be able to take the time off that Lance needed from him. This was... this was too big of a dilemma for him to handle alone. Curtis was also worried for Lance, and might just have the answer to the issue now at hand  
“I’ll be there within the varga”  
“Thanks, Shiro. See you soon”

*  
Laying on his side of the bed he shared with Keith, Lance was sleeping when Shiro walked in to check on him. Talking with Curtis, they’d come to an agreement. Lance needed someone to be with him at all times, in a place that was safe and secure, and not Daibazaal, Erathus, Altea or the Outpost. Taking a leave of absence due to mental health, Curtis would be taking Lance to the cabin they’d intended to spend Christmas at. Curtis was now briefing Lance’s team, leaving him to organise Lance. Squatting down, Shiro’s knees cracked in protest, Kosmo raising his head off Lance’s hip to bare his teeth. Reaching his robotic hand out, Shiro let Kosmo sniff at him  
“It’s ok, boy. I’m not going to hurt him. He’s not doing so well, so I’m taking him back to Earth”  
Kosmo continues to stare at him, his black eyes locked firmed on Shiro’s own  
“Keith hasn’t woken yet. I promise you I would have called if he had”  
Huffing, Kosmo settled back down against Lance. Over their time apart, Lance’s stomach had swelled rapidly, almost painfully from the look of the size. He wasn’t sure how far long ago, only that it was September on Earth now, where Lance had fallen pregnant in April.

With a soft mumble, Lance’s hand slipped to his belly as he woke. Both of them shocked to find each other staring at them   
“Hey, kiddo. I heard you haven’t been feeling that great”  
His words overlapped Lance’s rasp, hope filled Lance’s face as he stared across at him  
“Is Keith awake?”  
“Sorry, no. Curtis got some time off work and wondered if you’d like to head to Earth for a bit”  
Shifting with a grunt, Lance slowly went about drawing himself up to sitting, coughing as he did  
“Whoa. Easy there. There’s no need to rush”  
“Sorry... hurts to talk”  
With space cleared, Shiro’s knees protested as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed  
“Yeah? Marco said you’d been a bit down”  
“I heard him...”  
Coughing again, one hand remained on Lance’s stomach as the other moved to massage his throat. For someone unresponsive and panicking at every turn, Lance was much more together than he’d thought   
“Sorry... my throat’s sore”  
“Want to tell me about it?”  
“Meds”  
Shiro raised an eyebrow   
“You’re on new medication?”  
Nodding, Lance released his throat to reach for the glass of water on the bedside table. Wet with condensation it slipped through his fingers, spilling on Lance’s pillow and causing tears to immediately well in Lance’s eyes. Retrieving the half spilt glass, Shiro held it so Lance could take a sip, before shaking his head  
“No more”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Meds make things gross”  
It clicked into place in his mind. Lance was trying to avoid the things that made the side effects of his medication worse, taking it far enough to avoid eating and drinking because of it   
“Your medication’s changed how things taste?”  
“Mmm... so Marco called you because he finally gave up?”  
“No, Marco called me because he was scared for you. He said you’d been feeling pretty down”  
“Tired... I feel tired”  
“He also said you haven’t been eating or talking”  
“Makes me vomit”  
“Did you ask Daehra?”  
“Hurts too much”  
Shiro wasn’t sure that Lance didn’t mean it physically hurt too much. His voice sounded wrecked, his discomfort clear  
“We packed a bag for you. If you still want to go. It’s the cabin we were going to spend Christmas in, so it’s quiet. There aren’t any noisy neighbours in the area... Lance, what happened? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to have surgery?”  
“You had enough to worry about”  
“I’m still going to worry about you. You’re my friend. Everyone here’s worried about you. Marco mentioned you hurt yourself and that... that you saw Allura again? It all started about a movement ago? Does that sound right?”  
Lance’s bottom lip quivered, Shiro going to hug the smaller male, only for Lance to flinch away. It hurt. Lance’s rejection hurt, but he knew how unpleasant touch could be when you were struggling   
“She won’t leave me alone... I keep dreaming of her killing Keith”  
“Oh”

What a stupid thing to say. Lance needed reassurance, not him stupidly uttering vowels. Did that mean Lance wasn’t hallucinating her again, and instead disorientated from his nightmares? With his free hand, Lance started rubbing at his eyes. He looked miserably, he also looked uncomfortably thin and drawn out, as if he’d been fighting non stop since they’d parted   
“Would it be easier to talk by comms if your throat hurts?”  
“Headache... screens are bad too”  
“Lance, if your medication is making you feel this bad, then maybe it’s better you’re not taking it”  
“Have to... just a little longer...”  
“If you talked to Daehra...”  
“Stop it. You’re doing it again. I have to have my meds, my doctor said... I didn’t come home to be smothered”  
Lance was running out of steam, his already light voice was practically gone again  
“No. I thought you coming back here would be good for you. Instead you’re sick and refusing help”  
“Only for a little longer... I can make it a little longer...”

Kosmo whined, pawing lightly on Lance’s hand mere ticks before Lance’s nose began bleeding. Both of them reached for the tissues, Lance hissing as Shiro’s hand bumped his, Shiro withdrawing so Lance could grab a couple of tissues to press to his nose   
“Medication?”  
Throwing it out there, he mentally sighed as Lance nodded. Whatever Lance was taking wasn’t any good for him. He didn’t understand why he’d be taking it with so many side effects  
“At least let me see the bottle? Maybe I can find out more?”  
“Internal dispenser. Dissolves when empty”  
That sounded alarming. He didn’t know Lance’s obstetrician, and sure, Keith and Lance had both liked them, but they were still a stranger at the end of the day  
“What do you mean?”  
Lance opened his mouth, only for nothing to come out. Mopping at his bleeding nose, the light in his eyes seemed to dim again  
“Alright. But I’m going to need to tell Curtis he’s going to have to monitor your condition. He’s letting the others know you’re coming with us back to Earth”

Another nod came. This “drop” wasn’t as bad as the one Lance’d experienced after finding out he was pregnant, yet in some ways it felt worse. Lance was doing whatever it was to himself to keep the twins safe, prioritising them over his own health. Though he didn’t know how, he was going to need to contact Lance’s obstetrician and find out what the quiznak Lance had in his system to make him so ill. Plucking the bloodied tissues out Lance’s hand as he “studied” them, they’d be coming home with him to be analysed. Daehra surely had to have answers too, but whether she’d tell him was another story. He’d shown up from nowhere with his boyfriend to take her team leader away, and not for the first time  
“It looks your nose has stopped bleeding. Can you walk, or do you need help?”  
Answered with a firm shake of his head, Shiro sighed to himself. Keith may have thought himself terrible at helping Lance in their daily lives, yet here he was, failing miserably and projecting his worries back onto Lance as he’d done on Daibazaal. He’d had time to think about how all of them had treated Lance, none of them realising how belittling their fussing must have been for him.

Lance dressed himself slowly, Shiro watching from the corner of his eye. His gravid stomach crossed with stretch marks, like scratches across his soft brown skin. His breasts heavy, as he struggled with his bra. Lance’s pregnancy was an amazing thing, yet seeing him this heavily pregnant stirred up the same feelings of jealousy he’d felt when he’d first heard Lance was pregnant. Curtis would be spending weeks with him on Earth... He couldn’t give Curtis this... and Keith was missing out on this experience, while he’d been with Lance since the moment he’d found out... He wasn’t sure how to describe what the agitation he felt was, as agitation wasn’t the right word. The twins were his godchildren, Keith trusting him and Curtis to guide them and Lance. He’d had months to adjust to the change, he had no reason to be feeling like this, after all, he wouldn’t change places with Lance, not when his pregnancy had been so hard and complicated... So why did he wonder what it would have been like for him? Why did he feel it would have been easier for him, or Curtis, than for Lance? Though he hadn’t said any of this out loud, he felt as if he was badmouthing Lance mentally. Lance was strong. He knew how strong he was, Shiro had no right to be looking down at him. Tugging his shirt into place, Lance paused then grabbed one of Keith’s jackets from their wardrobe, his voice the same low roughness that he was going to have to adjust to, and remember when he checked in with him in the future  
“Let’s go”

*  
The cabin was nice for a prison cell. Lance knew he was being a burden on his friends and family, but now he’d been upgraded and evicted, to the middle of nowhere... A nowhere place that was annoyingly nice. Curtis’s family cabin was an hours long hike from the closest campground. The laws and rules governing the forest surrounding the cabin had changed since Curtis was last there. Private vehicles were no longer permitted due to the struggling colonising species. Curtis had apologised, even suggesting they could go elsewhere, but the seclusion sounded heavenly compared to both Daibazaal and Erathus. Slightly in trouble with the coalition, Shiro had been forced to stay at the Garrison while he and Curtis went on ahead, Curtis had gone to hug him, but Shiro had told him not to. When they were finally alone, Curtis had asked, ensuring that Shiro wasn’t overreacting.

With Kosmo’s help, Lance tidied up the sofa in the living area of the cabin. It was far bigger than he’d thought it would be, and while “rustic” on the outside, it was “rich rustic” on the inside. Meaning taxidermy on the walls with beady eyes staring down at him from every direction, a ridiculously huge TV over the cobbled fireplace that didn’t pick up standard TV channels. Macrame and bits of fluffy weaving stuff that had long gone out of trend hung in the cabins lone connecting hallway, seeing it was a one level structure with three steps to its name, everything was easily accessible, yet despite the options, he was making himself comfortable in the living area in the hopes of falling asleep before Curtis came back. His medication had been kicking his arse as hard as his depression. At the time he would have agreed to anything, feeling reckless and unwanted, he’d gone through with having the surgery. The first attempted was cancelled before it’d even started. He’d been numbed from the waist down, needing to be awake and talking during the procedure, only his heart rate had spiked and he’d had a massive seizure, postponing the operation until he’d recovered and been cleaned from throwing up across himself during the seizure. Offered a medication that would prevent his seizures and wouldn’t require taking it daily, he’d had a slow release capsule implanted in the back of his neck. The side effects hadn’t kicked in immediately, though the side effects were due to him in their entirety. He’d slipped in a moment of stupidness. When he’d realised that there was now less than a month left until Keith’s birthday, he’d gotten high. Ridiculously and stupidly high. Buckling under the pressure of the rising feeling that Keith wouldn’t wake in time to be there when his sons were born. He’d regretted it the moment he’d reached the peak of his high, purging himself of the pills he’d stolen from storage. He’d been sick ever since, almost as sick from the medication as he was with the shame of slipping up. The next morning, when he’d stood behind his bar, his paranoia had whispered in his ear, telling him they all knew what he’d done. Lance had been sure he’d put on a pretty good performance of a man who had it together until then. He’d hid his tears, his his pain, and hid his instability the best he could. Kosmo kept him grounded when he could, until that seemed to stop helping.

Propping himself up with another uncomfortable cushion, Kosmo nosed at Lance’s hand. Physical touch was uncomfortable. A psychosomatic result from being so uncomfortable in his own skin, and the feelings of being dirty and contaminated. As if him being used goods was to blame for Keith not waking up. The worst part was knowing he was being irrational, and knowing he was being so stupid, yet those feelings only grew and drove him to distance himself further. Distancing himself from his friends and family was the only thing he could do for them. Kosmo should have gone to Keith. Shiro could have taken him back, it annoyed him that he hadn’t. He hadn’t given up on Keith waking up. Each morning, or afternoon, he’d woken with the momentary hope that a message would have come through saying his precious husband was finally awake. After movements of waiting, Hope grew thin. When Shiro had woken him, he’d been so sure it was to tell him Keith was awake and that he was taking him to see him... not squirrelling him away to a cabin in the woods. Kosmo would love being able to explore, there was far more for him to explore here than at the outpost. There hadn’t been any campers when they’d arrived for him to terrorise, though there may be a few forest animals out there about to make a friend they didn’t want or need  
“‘m ok, boy. You go for a run... be ok”

Nodding off the on the sofa, Lance was woken to the sound of the fire alarm going off. Curtis was swearing up a storm he didn’t know possible, while Kosmo had come back to the cabin and was now stretched out in front of the fireplace like he owned the place. Pinching his nose at the offending smell, it immediately started bleeding. He wasn’t sure if that was better or worse as he hefted himself to shuffle over to kitchen, ripping a piece of paper towel off the roll that was millimetres from the puddle of water left by half washed dishes Curtis had evicted out the way to drop a very burnt thing into the sink. Shaking his head, Curtis seemed to finally notice he was awake, jumping and smiling as a hand came up to scratch the back of his head  
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you... It was going to be soup”  
Soup didn’t sound great. Nothing sounded appealing, but liquid were easier to get down. Plus, Curtis was making the effort. Lance didn’t... How the quiznak had Curtis managed to cremate soup? It was more embarrassing than Keith’s attempt at scrambled eggs. Soup. You poured it out the tin and heated it. Lance could see the tin sitting on the counter, so absolutely no real effort was required. Dabbing at his nose, the taste of blood was all too familiar  
“I talked to pharmacist about your throat, I wasn’t sure what to say but they recommended trying something warm to help. I’ve got you some liquid paracetamol too. You don’t need to take it if you don’t want to... I’ll try microwaving it”  
Coughing to try and clear the persistent lump in his throat, Lance was ready to go back to sleep. Curtis had gone to so much effort for him, he simply didn’t have the choice to say no to the painkiller or the soup. The burning scent in the air was starting to get to his, worsening the headache that continuously plagued him  
“I can... do it...”  
“No, no. I know you don’t know what to think of all of this, but I told Shiro I’d take good care of you. I should be able to rustle up dinner”  
Lance hung his head, feeling like a pet scolded by his master for something trivial. His actions causing Curtis to swear softly, before he turned to face him   
“That’s not what I meant. It is, in a way. Because I did tell Shiro that I would protect you, and take care of you. But, Lance I’m also here because I want to be. You have enough to worry about, I want to ease the burden on you. I want you to concentrate on working through and figuring out whatever it is that’s eating you up inside. I know it’s hard without Keith. I still can’t believe he hasn’t woken, but you’re not alone, here. You have me”  
“If I told you the truth, you’d leave me behind... Everyone leaves me behind. Marco couldn’t handle me, so he shoved me off onto Shiro who shoved me off onto you”  
“Your “truth” isn’t the only truth of the matter, Lance. You haven’t been shoved off onto me. Shiro and I were both looking for a way to take leave as it was. Unfortunately, he couldn’t. Otherwise he’d be here with us, or still by Keith’s side. If you’ve made a mistake, we can work on fixing it. If you want to go to Daibazaal, we can do that. I care about you and I care about Keith. I think you need to get whatever’s bothering you off your chest, and I’m not going to judge you for whatever that is. But before you do that, I want you to take some paracetamol for your throat. It sounds painful”  
“It is...”  
“Go sit back down. I’ll bring it over while I zap the soup. I’m not usually this bad in the kitchen... I just haven’t used the stove here in a very long time”  
Lance coughed as his snort stuck in his throat, with a few more words of explanation Lance was feeling less like a house pet, and maybe something more akin to friendship again. Testing his theory, he opted for teasing as he continued to cough  
“Mark of a true chef there, blaming the appliances”  
“Shush it, you. I’m not as skilled as Miriam at cooking, but I do know how to make scrambled eggs”  
A flicker of happiness fluttered through him, before his heart fell again. Although the cabin was nice, if he was going to be on Earth then he’d rather have been at Keith’s shack... There was something kind of nice about the place... even if it was tiny and isolated  
“That was Keith... He was trying to be romantic”  
“Ah. Well. I’m sorry, no romance from me, I’m afraid. Apparently no stove top heated soup either”  
“We’ll work on it...”  
“Sounds like a plan. Now sit, I can’t imagine being that pregnant is comfortable”  
“It’s not...”

Waddling back to the sofa, Lance bit down his pain as he tried to get comfortable. Back pain while pregnant was a common thing, but his feet were tender and swollen on top of the sharp pain down the back of his left leg. Rubbing his stomach as he raised his legs, the twins were both moving. Their kicks strong against his skin. He’d made such a mess of things when it came to them, that he was sure he deserved them or their innocence. Bringing over the bottle of paracetamol, Curtis was staring at the box intently   
“It says two to three times a day... but it says nothing about food... if you feel sick from it, we might have to try after you eat something next time”  
Lance already knew it was fine without food... He didn’t want to take a painkillers if he could help it, but after his monumental fuck up, he was kind of sick of the chronic tenderness in his throat. Pouring out a dose into the small plastic cup that came with the bottle, Curtis sniffed at it  
“It’s supposed to be strawberry... smells more like cherry. Would orange have been better?”  
“It’s fine, thank you”  
Lance doubted it would stay down as it was. Food and water never wanted to. Not that he’d stopped trying. He’d stopped trying in front of the others because of how much they worried. He’d might have given up on himself, yet those constant niggling thoughts of his husband... he still tried, even a little, for the sake of his husband. Taking the medication cup, Lance grimaced at the taste. Not cherry and most certainly not strawberry, not that those flavours particularly went well with blood. Being a good patient, he followed it up with the water Curtis then offered. His sense of taste was completely wrong lately, even the consistency of things in his mouth felt off. Sticking his tongue out as he wrinkled his nose, he was done with the first mouthful of water  
“That bad? From what I remember as a kid, the tap water here wasn’t awful”  
“Mouth feels gross”  
“Has anyone taken a look?”  
Lance shook his head. Everyone was worried enough about him as it was  
“I’m no medical professional, but I can work the internet. Show me, and we’ll see if we can’t start working things out”

Staring in his opened mouth, Curtis hummed like he knew what he was doing. Lance was sure his breath probably stank worse than coffee breath  
“It’s oral thrush. Shiro’s had oral thrush before, his was caused by being on antibiotics. I’m guessing it’s been here a while, your mouth looks pretty tender. I’ve got a friend of the family’s I can call. That’s assuming you don’t feel up to trekking back through the forest for a trip to hospital”  
Oral thrush made sense... he vaguely remembered something about it in Keith’s baby book... Or was that simply normal thrush... The book was somewhat scary. He had no idea you get thrush on your nipples... or in... or in other places other than that one place he didn’t have   
“Not really”  
“I don’t blame you. Right, soup’s going to have to wait until after I’ve made the call now. I need to let Shiro know too. He’ll worry if I don’t”  
“Over thrush?”  
“Over you. He hasn’t been handling Keith’s coma well. You should have seen him trying to secure permission to stay on Daibazaal longer. It wasn’t happening. The Coalition has been pushing a fair amount of work onto him, as well as Kolivan and Krolia. You should see little Korra... No. I need to make this phone call. With a little bit of luck we can get you something for that thrush tomorrow”

Wandering off, Curtis went from the phone call, which he placed outside on the veranda, to cleaning the saucepan in the sink... then the rest of the kitchen. It wasn’t until he went to wipe out the microwave that he remembered he was supposed to be making dinner for both of them. Lance hadn’t minded him forgetting. When Curtis was busy, he hadn’t noticed that he’d crept from the living area to the bathroom to throw up... and pee. Pads had become his best friend in that department. Coughing and sneezing had become a nightmare, and although a catheter was annoying as quiznak, he wasn’t sure that he didn’t miss it. Found sitting on the toilet, prolonging the inevitable of having to get up, they were really going to need to set up some personal boundaries if he was going to survive “Space Dad 2.0”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dios, Keith. Wake the quiznak up already.
> 
> The best way I can describe Lance’s mental state is when you think you’re doing ok. Not great, but you know, not curled up in bed for weeks at a time. Only, someone then says “you’ve really let yourself go”. He’s trying to do the try, the best he can... We all know no one is harder on themselves than Lance is.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!!! I absolutely swear I am not ignoring your wonderful comments! With different readers at different stages, sometimes it takes me a bit to figure out what’s going on. I love you all. And I love each and every comment!

Life with Curtis was trying... Lance was trying his hardest to keep up with him, while he was trying Curtis’s limits when it came to binge watching awful TV. The medication Curtis’s friend had prescribed had helped with his mouth, throat and sense of taste. The prescription was delivered by an overly sweaty Pidge. Lance had nearly run. He couldn’t talk to her properly, yet she either didn’t care or had been prewarned he couldn’t speak properly. The burgers and fries she’d brought had gone to Kosmo, while they settled down to watch something Pidge insisted on as she “wasn’t trekking back through the woods while she was digesting”. Lance had the suspicion she’d talked to Hunk leading to Hunk telling her to stay with him as long as possible to ascertain his welfare and wellbeing.

After a few days on the pills for the thrush, food tasted more like food again, leading him to being “tortured“ with three large meals a day. He’d pick at them over the few hours between meals, or Curtis would decide they’d been sitting out too long and he needed his next meal as soon as possible. For that reason Kosmo was now firm friends with Curtis. Mornings started slowly, then a little before lunch Curtis would get him up and make him walk around the house. He’d also found all sorts of exercises to help with his back pain. They’d kind of had a talk after Lance went sleep walking, for the first time, the second night at the cabin. He’d managed to get himself lost in the woods while he walked, Kosmo had dutifully stayed at his side. When he’d finally decided he was done walking, Kosmo had teleported back to the house to fetch Curtis who’d been going slightly crazy after finding them both gone. Waking up in the middle of the forest with Curtis across from him, wasn’t the best thing to ever happen. Curtis had wrapped him up in a thick blanket, then insisted he needed to lean on him all the way back to the cabin. The man fussing so badly he took his shoes off to put them on Lance’s feet because the night was freezing. Returning to the warmth of the cabin, Curtis then ran around lighting the fire in the grate and fetching a bucket of water in order to clean Lance’s feet up. Unable to cope with the influx of care, he’d spilled about his past... in particular how he didn’t deserve Curtis being kind after what he’d done... and how he’d relapsed.

A few days after their talk, Shiro had called them. He’d stolen a bloodied tissue to have it tested due to his medication. Lance was angry Shiro had betrayed him like that. He’d told him he needed it... not thinking that his blood would be screened and his relapse would be picked up like that, he hadn’t been prepared for Shiro’s anger. His hurt and betrayal... then his anger at Curtis because Lance had told him about his fuck up. The “punishment” from the incident led to his daily walks and exercises. Every time he felt down, Curtis would order him up and force him off to do something he didn’t want to. They’d fought about it. Curtis didn’t understand how hard it was to get down on the floor or to get back up. He didn’t understand the whole “don’t touch when he’s having a panic attack”. Or screaming nightmares had become a thing again. Or that sometimes just on the very edge of his vision he saw Allura standing there. He also didn’t understand the mornings Lance struggled with getting out of bed due to all the thoughts in his head. He did. He kind of. But where Keith would lay there and hold him, Curtis would make him get up and waddle around. It didn’t matter if Lance was walking around with tears rolling down his face. It was apparently healthier for him than being in bed, not that he agreed. Especially after a sleepless night, being up with reflux that wanted to murder him, feeling like his back was broken in a dozen places, or a night tossing and turning because his head wouldn’t shut up about Keith. 

Napping on the sofa turned out to be the one action that Curtis would forgive and let slide. Perhaps because that was the only time he had control of the TV remote, after the first few nights of movies before bed. When they were still adjusting to being thrown together, before Curtis had decided he needed to get into alien wrestling. Lance didn’t love it. There were some moments that weren’t awful, but it wasn’t his idea of a great night. Shiro and Curtis could keep their wrestling kink to themselves. He had his own problems in that department, so didn’t need to be reminded that the pair definitely got far too hot and heavy on Altea thanks to the arm wrestling. He’d nearly forgotten, as he’d been forgetting more and more lately, until Curtis made a joke about it. Lance was in no way, shape, or form horny for Curtis... yet it’d be a lie not to say he felt the constantly ebbing arousal stirring in his blood. That was another reason Curtis dragging him out of bed sucked. Curtis seeing him with a boner had been mortifying, more so when he started the “you’re a healthy young man talk”. He wasn’t though. He wasn’t exactly healthy, not with his depression running rampart, and Curtis trying to kill him healthiness. Keith’s birthday was rapidly approaching, as was the day he gave birth. So despite the facade, the appreciation of company, the struggle to keep going, somehow he was still there. Still waiting for Keith to come home and fix everything that Curtis couldn’t. He might be an amazing man, but Curtis couldn’t fill the Keith shaped hole in his soul.

*  
Spending the past few quintants in and out of consciousness, Keith knew the doctors had run a series on tests on him that he was supposed remember. He was exhausted, and from what he gathered, he was also now a big brother. His little sister was the cutest baby he’d ever seen in his life. She was a chubby little thing, with her mother’s eyes and her father’s hair. Thankfully she hadn’t got Kolivan’s ears. Staring down at her, he’d felt a rush of pride and love that he hadn’t expected. His smile was wide as tears ran down his face. Everything in his head was a little scrambled. He had no idea why he was there. He had no idea why he was there and his mother wouldn’t tell him where Lance was.

Another quintant passed without answers. Then what he assumed was another. Either that or it was an exceptionally long quintant. He’d asked to see Lance, then fought his hardest to stay awake. Lance hadn’t come to see him... He didn’t like that his husband hadn’t come to see him. He was confused as to why he’d woken up with the photos of his father propped up on the table next to the bed. He may have also forgotten he was going to be a father, but that had come back. The doctors all wanted to know what the last thing he remembered was, leaving him with the feeling he’d said the wrong thing when he’d said “that water planet with the sky the same colour as Lance’s eyes”. Krolia had looked uncomfortable, then passed Korra over to him before he remembered to ask why everyone was looking at him in confusion.

His long quintant felt overwhelming. He had a baby sister... she was actually finally here... He had the suspicion that despite his efforts he’d nodded off as she’d suddenly not been in his hold without him remembering the in between. His communication skills weren’t exactly up to their usual high standards. Krolia explaining it might be because he hadn’t talked in 7 movements. That was the most overwhelming thing. 7 movements with no idea how Lance was. He was happy to have a sister, but he was happier still when Shiro came striding through the infirmary door, gathering him into a hug so tight he felt almost crushed in his brother’s arms  
“Keith. Oh thank god... thank god...”

Patting Shiro’s arm, his brother loosened his hold. Shiro had no way of knowing he was as happy as him to see him. His mother wouldn’t tell him about his husband   
“It’s good to see you too”  
“I think I’m happier to see you than you are to see me. You had all of us worried”  
“Even Lance?”  
Shiro stiffened, then relaxed. None of his family were great at hiding things when it came to sore topics   
“Especially Lance. How are you feeling?”  
“Tired”  
“Tired? Isn’t being in a coma enough sleep for you?”  
“Nope. Where’s Lance? Has he... am I...?”  
“Slow down. You’ve barely woken, and it’s common for the first few days to leave you confused. He’s fine. He’s safe. He hasn’t given birth, as far as I know he hasn’t booked a date for the caesarean and he’s still pregnant with your twins”  
“Where is he?”  
“He’s on Earth. Curtis took a leave of absence to make sure he wasn’t alone”  
That made no sense to him. His fatigue was catching up, while talking felt weird  
“Huh?”  
“You look pretty exhausted kiddo. I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up again, but for now you should get some rest”  
“Wanna see Lance”  
“I know you do. When you’re a bit more awake, I promise you can call Lance”  
“Let him know...”  
“I’ll let him know. Let’s get you back to sleep, mister”  
Being babied by Shiro wasn’t terrible. He was like a father to him as he settled him back down and brushed his hair back from his forehead. A few ticks later he’d fallen back to sleep, Shiro remaining by his side.

The next few quintants things fell into place. He didn’t remember the party or the explosions. He remembered the previous planet they’d visited but not the latest. Through his powers of deduction he’d reasoned something had happened between Lance and Krolia. Shiro had been stuck with him asking the same questions about Lance until it finally stuck in his head. Lance was on Earth with Curtis. When it stuck, his immediate desire was to return to Earth to see his husband. Only... he needed to build his strength up first. His strength being the thing that suffered the most. He could write his name, and was embarrassed to find they’d all been worried about him as he’d been slurring his words when he’d woken. He could use a knife and fork, though he was on a liquid diet with the need to work back up to solids. He could walk and talk. He was just exhausted sooner than he’d normally be. He was also cranky. Shiro had to go back to work with the promise that he’d be back to organise rehabilitation exercises for him back on Earth. That bit wasn’t great. Neither was he particularly happy when his team flooded in and showered him in attention. He wanted Lance to be the first one to know he was awake. Not the last. His husband would be scared... and he was scared that their time apart had ruined their marriage. During their visit Ezor had let it slip that Krystaal had kissed him. His team had been kicked out after that. His mother unhappy as she admitted that it’d happened. Lance had forgiven him... but he’d still gone and left him. He wasn’t getting the full story and it frustrated him. He could only hope that Lance hadn’t been treated like this when he’d woken up. His husband would have hated all the unnecessary “fluffing about” as he would call it. All his troubles would have been eased had he been allowed to see Lance.

In the end, when he did finally get an explanation over what had happened between his mother and Lance, it’d come when his mother was emotionally raw from Korra testing her lungs out as she serenaded Krolia and Kolivan all night long for no apparent reason. He was livid with his mother for driving his husband away. He didn’t understand how she could have fought with him, when Lance had had no choice but to put himself first. He didn’t feel comfortable on Daibazaal as he wasn’t comfortable in his own skin. He preferred the obstetrician on Erathus, and it was his right to do what right for him. Calling Shiro, Shiro had explained the whole incident to him. Krolia had talked with Shiro after the incident. They’d all been overbearing. Scared to take their eyes off each other lest something else happen to one of them. They were also stressed and on edge from the Coalition’s mess. Things accumulating until they’d resulted in this mess. A mess that Krolia deeply regretted. Keith knew his mother as a proud woman, he also knew Lance would understand why she’d acted the way she did... but that didn’t mean that his mother didn’t need to swallow her pride and apologise to the man he loved. Knowing she’d screwed up, she didn’t want him to leave when he barely 6 quintants out of a coma, but on the concession that he let himself be placed in a pod to triple check he was physically fine, Keith secured his freedom off Daibazaal... in another two quintants time.

By the time he’d packed, boarded Shiro’s pod and forced himself not to lose his cool at his mother, Keith had chewed his fingernails down to nearly nothing. All he could think about was seeing Lance. That meant he held the burning desire do so, yet on the other side of the same coin, he was nervous as quiznak about walking back into his husband’s life. He’d been awake a whole damn movement and he hadn’t heard from him. He hadn’t talked to him. He hadn’t messaged him. He probably wasn’t actually up to making the trip to Earth. His wedding ring was around his neck. Miraculously the clip had held despite what had happened... but... he had no way of knowing if Lance was wearing his. He had no way of knowing how Lance would be. Keith knew that his return wouldn’t magically fix whatever had been happening Lance’s head. His husband had weeks on Earth to fall apart without him. He’d missed so much of Lance’s pregnancy. He hated it. He hated every stupid step that the Physio therapist at the palace had made him take. Every sensory test. Every fine movement and memory test. It only told him he was weak and that he’d failed his husband. Shiro hadn’t been there when the incident had happened, all he had was a second hand account from Curtis. Curtis who told him that Keith had made a strategic call to search for Shiro while Curtis aided both Lance and Krolia. Keith couldn’t remember what was going through his mind. Trying to think of that night hurt his head. He was told not to rush the memories, but with no memories how did he know what to say? He’d left Lance. He’d left Lance with Curtis... The half-Galra knew he’d have had to assess the situation then come to the conclusion that was the best chance for a successful outcome. Curtis couldn’t go. Krolia was too pregnant... and Lance... He wanted to kick his past self’s arse for not leaving him clear instructions over what the quiznak had happened.

*  
An hour of hiking wiped Keith out completely. He was drenched in sweat, his chest heaving and the world spinning by the time the cabin came into view. Having been leaning heavily on Shiro for the last 50 minutes of the hike, both of them relieved when they reached their destination. Leaning against the wooden railing that ran around the edge of the veranda, Shiro waved his robotic arm at him as he caught his breath, waving him on to where Lance would be waiting for him. Dragging himself on, Keith’s heart was pounding. Not just from over exerting himself, but with the fact he could smell his husband. Something else was in the air, but he could smell Lance. It was closest he’d been to Lance in movements, and his body seemed to know it. 

Forgetting that manners were a thing, keith trekked mud into the cabin as he stumbled inside, then was nearly blinded by the natural light pouring through into the space. It was far too rich for his liking on the inside. The outside deceptively was bland, the forest dark and wet from a heavy rain that hadn’t long left. Standing at the oven, Lance was cooking something as he wiped his eyes. His barefoot husband had his hair pulled up into a tiny ponytail as he sang something softly, the song not in English and not that happy from the looks of it. With the grace of a newborn fawn Keith staggered for the kitchen island, grabbing the for edge as his clumsy hand knocked a dish off the edge. Screaming at the sound, Lance sent the frypan he’d been using crashing down to his feet   
“Lance!? Are you ok?! I told you I could make...”

Walking out the end of a corridor Keith hadn’t noticed, Curtis caught Lance as he crumbled on the spot. His husband starting to sob, his name said repeatedly in between Spanish and his sobs, his face hidden as he cried into his hands. Coming up behind him, Shiro wrapped an arm around Keith’s waist   
“I told Curtis we were coming, but I left it as a surprise for Lance. This is the part where you’re supposed to rush into each other’s arms”  
“Lance...?”  
Lowering his hands, his husband met his eyes. Keith was shocked. He wasn’t sure why he was shocked. He’d been coming to see his husband. And now his husband was in front of him, his body was taking its time to do the whole moving thing  
“K-Keith?”  
As his brain finally kicked into gear, with a soft propelling from Shiro. he was completely uncoordinated as he tripped over his two feet in his hurry to reach Lance. Shrugging off Curtis, Lance simply remained sitting, as shocked as Keith was over what was happening. Reaching his husband by crawling on his knees, he drew him against him as he started crying and nuzzling his neck  
“Lance...”  
“K-Keith... what... how...?”  
“Shiro gave me a lift”  
“Why...? Are you... what...”

Taking Lance’s face in his hands, his husband was... He had no words for it. Lance was simply... He was... his everything. Wiping the tear trails with his thumbs, Lance sniffled as he stared at him, Keith smiling softly as he melted with the weight of his love and happiness to finally be back with the man he loved and adored more than anything   
“Shh... deep breaths for me”  
“You’re really here?”  
“Yeah, babe. Yeah, I’m here”  
“I didn’t think you’d wake up...”  
“You should know I can’t you leave you alone. You and that arse of yours”  
Lance hiccuped a snort, then dissolved back into soft sobs  
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...”  
“This isn’t your fault. Hey, you’re not to blame”  
“I left you!”  
That stung. Lance’s words hitting a little too close that particular wound  
“You did what you needed to do for our boys”  
“I...”  
“Shhh. How am I supposed to kiss you if you don’t stop blaming yourself”

“Sorry, Keith. Lance is still contagious. No kissing right now”

Glancing up to Curtis, his some-day brother-in-law shook his head. Contagious? What did he have? And if he had something, why wasn’t he being treated for it?  
“Not right now. A couple more days to let the symptoms pass. He’s got a touch of oral thrush. It’s not really contagious, but there is still a small risk of spreading it from his mouth to other places”  
Lance blushed hard, his expression turning downcast, unable to meet Keith’s eyes as his gaze flicked back to husband   
“I don’t care...”  
“You will if you spread the infection. It’s nearly completely gone”  
Thrush could be spread? Curtis wasn’t just messing with him because he didn’t want to see them kissing?  
“I’m sorry... you probably think it’s gross”  
“No. No. Babe. Fuck. I’m so happy to see you. What is this place? Where’s Kosmo?”  
“Curtis’s family cabin... he likes going exploring... are you really here? Shiro... Curtis told me you were awake... I’m so happy...”  
“Lance, why don’t you and Keith head down to your room? He needs a tour of the cabin later too”  
Lance’s gorgeous blue eyes widened. Keith couldn’t wait to see them tear free  
“Keith’s staying? He gets to stay?”  
Curtis ruffled Lance’s hair  
“Yes, Lance. He gets to stay but remember he’s still weak from his coma. You two need to behave yourselves”  
“It’s you and Shiro I have to worry about. He’s been watching wrestling non-stop...”  
Behind him Shiro started laughing, his hands moving to rest just under Keith’s armpits   
“Point taken. Maybe Curtis can show me around before I head back to the garrison. Let’s get you both up. The kitchen floor doesn’t seem like a good place to catch each other up”  
Lance nodded, his husband taking a few deep breaths before agreeing  
“It’s not... I personally guarantee that”  
Seeing they were sitting next to the remains of what looked to be something “beany”, sitting on the floor wasn’t all that appealing   
“I know you do. Here, Shiro, you get Keith up, and I’ll get Lance up”

They made a fine pair, Lance was so pregnant that he waddled everywhere. Keith was so exhausted that he swayed as if he was drunk. Led down the corridor, the door to Lance’s room was open  
“It’s kind of a mess. Bending kills my back, so Curtis picks up what Kosmo doesn’t”  
Inside Lance’s room was a neat queen sized bed, the top blankets were ones Keith had purchased for his husband before they’d set up their room at the outpost. There was double window behind the bed head, allowing natural light to pour through the pulled back deep green curtains. The only other things were a small woven rug and dresser. No art or trinkety things, other than Lance’s photos of the bedside table he’d nearly missed... due to the chair with a pile of clothes of it. Ok. So he’d missed that, but in his defence, Keith was exhausted  
“It’s nice”  
“It’s plain... but it’s quiet... Curtis has a safe in his room, so if you have any weapons you have to store them in there”  
Now they were alone, Lance was attempting to push him away. His husband was acting stiff and awkward, Keith maybe a little way that way himself. Lance left his side to sit himself down on the made bed, Keith taking a few ticks before joining him. They’d been apart for so long. Yet he’d been unconscious until this last hellish movement   
“I don’t want to talk about him. I want to... I want to know how... what... are you ok?”  
“Our sons are fine. You look like you need to rest...”  
“Lance”  
“The bed isn’t bad... Curtis keeps a schedule... You’ll have to get used to it if you’re actually staying...”  
“Lance. I don’t want to talk about that. I want to... I don’t know. Talk about you? Talk about what happened? I don’t remember anything from that week. They said they at happens sometimes”  
“We don’t need to talk about it right now”

Lance’s quiet reply was quick and dismissive, his husband moving his hands to his stomach.   
“Babe... Please. I thought you’d be happy to see me”  
“I am...”  
There was a clear unsaid “but” on the end that. Keith didn’t like how this all felt  
“Why won’t you talk to me?”  
“I... when I look at you I want to kiss you... and I... I can’t even do that. I waited for movements for you to wake up and now you’re here it doesn’t feel real... You... you left me then I left you... I wasn’t strong enough...”  
Placing his hand on Lance’s stomach, he couldn’t care less about thrush at the moment. Leaning in towards his husband, Lance tried to escape his kiss  
“What are you doing?”  
“I won’t spread it if I only kiss your mouth. I can’t stand waiting”  
“Curtis says it’s nearly all gone... I have to take my meds a little longer...”  
“I don’t care. If you want to kiss me, then kiss me... I don’t want you to... I don’t want you to feel like you can’t... I’ve missed you. I’ve really quiznakking missed you”  
Lance’s stomach wobbled slightly as he sucked in a breath, no longer leaning away from him, their lips nearly touching. Lance’s breath warm against his mouth   
“I missed you too... I missed you so much. I didn’t think you were going to wake up...”  
Closing the few millimetres, the kiss turned less than innocent less than two ticks in. Kissing deeply, Lance’s hand came up to thread his fingers through as one kiss began several.

Breaking the kiss, Keith rested his forehead against his husband’s. He had far too many questions, but that kiss told him the most important thing and that was his husband still loved him  
“I thought you’d... you wanted to leave me...”  
“No. No, babe. I don’t know what happened. But I love you. I love you so much. Is that why you didn’t call?”  
“I was scared you wouldn’t remember... this... us... or that you’d be happier with Shiro and me gone”  
Ew. No. Shiro was his brother...  
“You idiot. No. I wouldn’t have been happier with Shiro. He told me I was going to look for him, but shielded you when the wall exploded outwards. I’m sorry you thought that. I can’t tell you what I was thinking”  
“It’s been so hard... Curtis tries... but I can’t do this without you... I can’t...”  
The fact that Lance wasn’t hiding on some deserted planet hadn’t gone unnoticed  
“You’re strong. Even pregnant you could totally kick my arse”  
Lance sniffled as he shook his head. His fingers still entwined in Keith’s hair as he shifted slightly   
“It doesn’t count when you’re fresh out of a coma”  
“I won’t tell if you don’t. Do you want to cuddle?”  
“Yes... you missed so much...”  
“I want to hear all about it. I might fall asleep, fair warning”  
“I might fall asleep too. Curtis has this thing. He won’t let me stay in bed. I can nap on the sofa, but he has a routine. I hate it”  
“I think you’ve earned a day off that routine. Can I see your belly?”  
“They’re so much more active now. You... can sometimes see the skin move. I haven’t showed anyone... I didn’t want them to think it’s gross”  
“Gross? Are you kidding me? I’ve missed this bump of yours”  
“It’s big”  
“It’s amazing. I’m... I’m so relieved I wasn’t too late...”  
“Korra worked her way into your heart, didn’t she?”  
Lance met Korra? Keith wasn’t exactly sure on the timeline of things anymore. His brain wasn’t doing the brain, not when he wanted to do the cuddle  
“You met her?”  
“Yeah. Kolivan is amazing with her. I wish I could have seen you with her”  
Lance sounded guilty, Keith wasn’t having his husband slip back into tears  
“You will. Now let me see our sons already”  
“No. Nope. Noooo. I’m not going into labour here, just because you decided to pull a Sleeping Beauty. I need to use the bathroom. You’ll need to do your boots. I can’t bend that far anymore”  
“Fair point. If you want to lose that shirt...”  
“Horn dog”  
“I seriously doubt I have the strength to be a horn dog. I want to see you... I’ve missed you”  
“I missed you, too...”   
Releasing his hair, Lance gave him a quick peck on the lips before dragging himself off the bed. His hands going to his hips as he groaned. His husband was a fat little waddly penguin with an adorable pout. Watching him leave was hard. He wanted to follow after him, make sure he was safe... and wouldn’t disappear on him. He wasn’t ready to do anything that separated him from Lance, even for a few ticks at a time.

Keith enacted “Cuddly Octopus Mode” when Lance had waddled back from the bathroom. He was a little disappointed that Lance’s long shirt had stayed on, his husband taking far too long to climb up onto the bed, then there was the saga of getting Lance’s shirt up to expose his belly without hurting his husband’s sore back further. Kissing his way down, he nuzzled into the soft swell happily. He didn’t want to miss anything anymore. He wanted to feel his twins and be there when they were born. He wanted to hold his husband and make him happy. Letting his fingers slide across the Lance’s swell, he didn’t know it was humanly possible for Lance to be this pregnant and remain upright. The human body was truly amazing. Lance was truly amazing. Kissing his way from the top of the bump to Lance’s right hip, Keith frowned at an inch wide scar running horizontal instead of vertical like the rest of the stretch marks across his skin  
“This one’s new?”  
Mumbling his thought out loud, Lance propped himself up with his elbows   
“I can’t see”  
Kissing the mark, he instantly hated it. He didn’t mind Lance’s scars. He simply hated having his weakness shoved in his face. This was proof he’d fucked up  
“Oh... I... that’s from surgery”  
“You needed surgery? Are you alright?”  
“Mhmm. It was a like a phoeb and bit ago... maybe. I stayed at the outpost afterwards”  
That didn’t tell him why he needed surgery  
“Were you hurt? Did I hurt you?”  
“No. You didn’t. I had a fall when the explosions happened... The pod helped the bleed... but it was... let’s save what it was for later. I had the surgery that was recommended to help the bleed”

Fuck... fuck... He wasn’t going to... Lance was left to go through it alone. He could have lost the twins. He could lost his life. He’d missed another important appointment... and he could have lost all of this. It hurt so badly. He hated he’d been gone. He wanted to be with his husband for all of it   
“I should have been there”  
“You were in a coma”  
“I...”  
“Don’t. Ok. My head is a mess. I still don’t know if you’re real. I don’t want to think. I’m tired, sore and want to sleep. I’m not comfortable. And I’m not... this is too much. I can’t do this right now”  
Quiznak. Why... why did his husband have to be so precious? He couldn’t say no when he asked him. He wouldn’t be able to say no until the guilt in his heart faded... but... he didn’t want this fester   
“Then when can we talk?”  
“Tonight. Once we’ve both slept. Come back up here. When Curtis comes back, he’ll make us both get up...”  
Keith knew tonight would turn to tomorrow... and that he’d let Lance weasel out of it... right now, they were both in shock with a lot to work out.


	48. Chapter 48

Sleeping late, Keith woke to an empty bed. Lance was more in the bathroom than he was their bedroom, it felt like he was feeling Lance climbed out every five minutes. He wanted cuddles. He’d been at the cabin for a few days now, learning the routine Curtis and Lance had in place. Curtis did the cooking, unless he was hiding the fact that Keith was coming and needed Lance distracted. Curtis did the washing, Lance doing the folding when it was brought in. Curtis also gathered the firewood. Keith was allowed to sleep late as depression wasn’t kicking his arse. He hadn’t noticed the severity after the initial shock of his return, then he slowly did. The weather outside was miserable, it was long sleeve weather out there. Inside. Inside was not. His husband didn’t wear t-shirt or anything without a sleeve. He’d kicked Keith out the bathroom when he wanted to take a shower, and jumped when his was touched unexpectedly. Once or twice he’d seen lance flinch when Curtis had brush against him. Lance and Curtis weren’t touchy feely, and huggy like Shiro could be. They kept a distance between them, in some kind of respect for each other. He shouldn’t have been annoyed when he found Lance asleep on the sofa in the living room, next to Curtis who had his arm around him. Cartoons were playing in the background, with Kosmo sleeping in front of the unlit grate... 

Sitting down in one of the single seater recliners, Curtis gave him a warm smile. Keith couldn’t sit on the arm of the chair, or on the floor in front of Lance. He had to act like a normal person would. A normal person wouldn’t be jealous over the fact that Curtis had pretty much kept Lance going in the final weeks of his coma  
“Good morning. How’d you sleep?”  
“Good. Better than expected...”  
“I would have woken you up, but I didn’t want to wake Lance up. He had a rough night”  
Keith wasn’t jealous... at all. Why didn’t he know Lance had had rough night? Why hadn’t Lance woken him up? He would have sat up and finally had that talk they were going to have about everything that happened. The half-Galra wasn’t sure that his husband wasn’t falling asleep on purpose to avoid it   
“He did?”  
“Yeah. His back was playing up. You might have noticed that there’s no medication in the house other than for his thrush that’s kept out. He was sleeping on Kosmo when I woke up. I’ve given him some paracetamol for the pain, but I’ve got to do a run into town today, the Garrison wants me to check in. I’ll grab some more when I’m there... aaaand anything you want, let me know. Lance sent me a list of things he wanted”  
Lance had told Curtis about the drugs? Did that mean Curtis now knew Lance’s past? No. Not jealous... No. Lance and Curtis weren’t like that. Lance might have planned to talk to him. It’d happened before  
“Nothing comes to mind”  
“That makes things easier. I’ll be gone all day, so make sure you let me know if you think of anything”  
“Yeah... Do you want me to take Lance?”

“Lance is awake... you two haven’t heard of whispering”  
Pushing himself up, out of Curtis’s hold, Lance yawned widely. His husband sporting impressive bed head as he rubbed his eyes. Laughing, Curtis bumped Lance lightly with his shoulder  
“Sorry. Sorry”  
“You’re not. Hey, babe. You’re awake?”  
“Yeah. I just got up”  
“Then what I’m doing sleeping on Curtis? Am I going to have to tell Shiro about this?”  
“No. I told you, no romance from me”  
“Just tacky wrestling”  
“Wrestling isn’t tacky”  
“Keith, babe. Help me out here?”  
Keith opened and closed his mouth  
“Sorry, Lance. You’re outnumbered here. Are you up for some breakfast?”  
“Something plain today. I’m feeling a bit queasy”  
“No problems. Keith?”  
That was... simple...  
“Uh... toast?”  
He wasn’t sure what his options were  
“Sounds good. You both need to do your exercises today. Lance, I’m leaving you in charge of them. Keith, make sure he walks around and gets a good stretch in. He knows his exercises, so you two can both go through them”  
“Curtis, we can handle a few exercises”  
“I haven’t left...”  
“You’ve gone to town for supplies and I’ve been perfectly fine, here. Right here on the sofa with Kosmo and my trash TV. Now I’ve got my husband to babysit me, you don’t need to worry as much”  
“Lance, I’ve seen you cry because you accidentally stepped on a cockroach. I’m going to worry”  
“It felt gross. I can’t see the bottom of my feet. Now get off the sofa, old man”  
“I thought Shiro was the old man?”  
“You’re a two for one deal. I want my husband”  
See. He was being stupid. Lance wanted him. He wanted him, not Curtis  
“You can have him. I’ll take Shiro”  
“Don’t think I didn’t notice that limp after Shiro left. And don’t think I won’t keep going if you don’t let Keith sit down”  
“Fine. Fine. I’ll remember this”  
“I probably won’t. Keith... cuddles?”  
Making grabby hands for him, almost all was forgiven. Keith happy to climb back up then take Curtis’s spot by Lance when it opened. Smelling too much like Curtis, Keith started rubbing his wrist against Lance’s neck as his husband sank into his hold. He hadn’t missed his messed up secondary instincts but he missed this.

Lance dozed off after breakfast, leaving Keith to assure Curtis he’d call if something went wrong. Curtis twice doubling back from the cabin’s front door before finally getting the message that they’d be alright and leave. They’d been alone for the whole day, meaning Keith didn’t want to waste a single moment of it. Letting Lance doze, his husband woke a good hour after Curtis had left. Climbing off of him, Lance’s mumbled to himself before shuffling off. Letting his husband have a five minute head start, he found Lance in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. Walking up behind, Keith placed both hands on his husband’s stomach he rested his chin on Lance’s shoulder   
“Good morning, beautiful”  
Spitting out his mouthful of toothpaste, Lance went about rinsing his mouth out and gargling before he paid him any attention   
“I don’t know if it’s good... and I don’t feel very beautiful”  
Kissing his husband’s neck, Keith smiled as their twins kicked  
“I think you’re beautiful. What do you want to do today?”  
“Sleep...”  
“We have the whole cabin to ourselves”  
“I know. That’s why I want to sleep”  
Lifting his hands off his stomach, Lance wiped his own on his sweats as he started moving towards the bathroom door. Stung by his words, Keith didn’t get what he was doing wrong  
“Babe?”  
“I’m going back to bed for a bit”

Following Lance from the bathroom to their room, Keith couldn’t take it any longer  
“Babe. We need to talk”  
“Do we?”  
“Yes”  
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”  
Keith blinked as his mind processed. Walking over to the bed, he sat beside his husband   
“Why do you say that?”  
“Because you haven’t been happy since you got here. You’re mad at me”  
“Hey. That’s not true. You have no idea how happy I am to be here”  
“I stuffed up. And you’re mad. I’m sorry”  
“Right now, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about”  
“You’re going to leave. You have to go home and you’re made at me... aren’t you?”  
Keith shook his head. He wasn’t mad. He was jealous. And idiot... and maybe a little bit mad... but he wanted to talk, not make Lance feel like he couldn’t talk to him because he was mad  
“Why would I have to leave? I came here to be where you were”  
“Krolia wouldn’t let you stay... She doesn’t like me very much anymore. She must have told you how I gave up... I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want me around either...”  
“Babe, Krolia loves you. She told me about the fight. Not right away, because all of them were acting weird. She regrets what she said”  
“She shouldn’t...”  
Lance covered his face with his hands, leaning forward as he did  
“This is what I wanted to talk about. I don’t know what happened. It’s not coming back. I had no idea Krystaal and I kissed until Ezor accidentally dropped that bombshell. Is that why you won’t talk about it? About that night?”  
“That’s... we talked about that... You don’t remember, but we did. You told me after it happened and I forgave you”  
“Then what’s going on with you? You’re acting jumpy”  
“I’m fine...”  
“That’s quiznak and we both know it”

Moving far too fast for a pregnant person, Lance pushes himself up off the bed, wrapping his arms around his face as he looked to the wall instead of Keith   
“What do you want to me say?”  
“The truth? So we can talk this out? I noticed you and Curtis are close enough for him to hint...”  
“Stop it. I’m sure they delighted in telling you I had a fucking relapse. That Marco had to run to Shiro because they couldn’t have me at the outpost any longer. You want to know what happened?! I had a fall and a major bleed. I could feel... I could feel the blood running down my legs and it hurt so fucking much. But I... I selfishly begged you not to leave me to find Shiro... I was so scared and you... I thought I was over being mad at you. I get it. I get that you were the most agile, but you... I begged you not to go. Then... then when I wake up and you’re in a Goddamn coma... I thought that would be it. That would be the single worst night of my life and I’d never have another night with you. I... I’m not strong! I want to... I don’t know if I want to be alive and I don’t know if I want to be dead. I don’t have the energy to keep fighting. I’m so fucking mad at myself. If I hadn’t fallen I could... I could have done something other than be a burden to everyone”

For the second time that day, Keith moved himself behind his husband. Looping his arms loosely around Lance, he nuzzled into his shoulder   
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. If I was the least injured...”  
“You were. The temple exploded with Shiro in it... I get it. I get and I shouldn’t be mad. I should be happy you’re awake, but you came home to this disgusting piece of trash”  
“You’re not disgusting”  
“I am! I’m dirty! The whole galaxy knows I’m dirty... I can’t... being touched... I don’t want to be touched”  
“That’s not how I see you”  
“I took the surgery knowing the risks! I could have died but you weren’t there. You weren’t there and I didn’t care if I did! What kind of father does that make me!? I couldn’t handle your birthday being less than a month away so I got high. I’m sleeping walking, self harming, having panic attacks and nightmares. Allura won’t stop watching me. Curtis has me doing all these “healthy exercises”. I was slowly dying thanks to oral thrust but he went and cured that one. I’m so exhausted. I shouldn’t be a father... and you... you deserved someone better than me to be your partner. I’m... I’m a burden on everyone. You. You’re out of a coma. You’re not supposed to be up and moving around, let alone hiking out to the middle of nowhere. You should be with your sister and your family. You should be on Daibazaal with them... and not with me... you... I was useless without you”

Rambly-Lance had been unlocked  
“Babe. You do know most of that isn’t true. You’re not a burden”  
“I am. Marco called Shiro because he couldn’t handle me!”  
“Marco called Shiro because he knew Shiro is our friend. He called Shiro because Shiro can pull all kinds of crazy strings. He didn’t call him because you’re a burden”  
“I am... he shouldn’t have to patch his own brother up. I cut my hands and couldn’t remember doing it. I thought I was better and that I was doing better and then I was shipped off here. Don’t get me wrong, Curtis is a good guy... I just... I feel so... I feel so contaminated”  
“You’re not contaminated. I’m sorry I left you with so many questions. I’m sorry you and mum fought because of me. I’m sorry I can’t remember that planet. But you’re not a bad person for being scared to do everything alone”  
“I stole drugs and got high”  
“One relapse in phoebs...”  
“Because I failed at everything!”  
“What exactly did you fail at? What task do you think you failed?”  
“Living without you... being a dad without you... I... failed at... I said you were dead. I wanted to have hope but it was eating me up inside. I didn’t want you to... I didn’t want you to wake up and not remember me... I didn’t want you to wake up and find the twins gone... I didn’t want to fail you...”

Coaxing Lance to turn in his hold, Keith kissed his shoulder. He hadn’t failed him  
“Lance. If you’d really, truly given up, you wouldn’t be here. You’d have run, or you would have died. You would have fought coming here. You would have fought with Curtis until you realised you couldn’t drive him away, then you would have left. We know how bad your depression is. We know things get a bit mixed up in your head. But I’m here”  
“You’re still recovering... you’ve barely had anytime with your family... and your sister”  
“Babe, you’re my family. Mum has everything on Daibazaal under control. I’m where I want to be”  
“But...”  
“Enough “buts””  
“I got high... Shiro was so mad...”  
“I’m... I’m mad. In a way. I’m mad that you felt that down and alone that you felt you had to. Because you’re not alone. What was it like, on Daibazaal?”  
“Everyone was being too careful around me. They wouldn’t even tell me that Krystaal was behind this. Krolia caught me leaving for Erathus. I didn’t think they’d let me talk to him, and I... I wanted people to stop treating me differently. I chose the surgery not caring if I died... She called me out for running away and leaving you. She thought I was going to kidnap Krystaal, then kept on about my medical care being transferred to Daibazaal. They wouldn’t tell me that my bleed was worse. They all kept telling me to rest. I know they were scared but I can’t... I can’t get this out my head and I hate it”

They’d acted how they’d acted when he woke up. Protecting him from the truth over and over. His brain had felt scrambled, so he may have asked more than once but they should have known better. Keith knew exactly why they kept Lance resting though. He didn’t think he would have been able to tell his husband anything else if he’d been there and known about the bleed. The pod had healed the edges of the bleed that’s naturally started healing causing scarring. A bigger bleed would have meant more scarring. The surgery was to remove that scarring and at rejoining blood vessels on a microscopic level.

“When I woke up, you were the first thing I wanted. It was overwhelming. It’s still overwhelming. I missed so much again. Everything I did was watched. Test after test to see what damage was left the coma. The first time I walked I was exhausted before I reached the door”  
“That’s... you should be on Daibazaal. Getting proper care!”  
“Being on Daibazaal was only making this worse for me. I know you had to do what you did. But I still had to wait a movement to see you. To talk to you... every test, I wanted to do the best I could so I could get home to faster. I’ve been in a pod. I lost muscle mass, things get a bit confused, and struggling to fit in with your and Curtis’s plan, but I’m staying here. With you. With my husband, and our boys”

Lance untangled himself from Keith’s hold, standing to face him with his hands on his stomach  
“Keith. I don’t... I guess... I don’t know how to believe you won’t leave”  
“I told you at the start. The very start, before we were accidental husbands that I’m serious about this. I’m serious about you. I know you’ve put your walls back up. I know. I can see it in the way you jump and flinch. I can see how miserably you think of yourself. You didn’t want me to see your stomach, did you?”  
“No... my... touch hasn’t been...”  
“Being alone brought up a lot of memories of the past, of him? You don’t want people to touch you or see you, because you think you’re dirty. That’s not true. Babe, I don’t want you to be doing things you’re not comfortable with. I don’t want you to force it. If I’ve been pushing to hard, I want you to be able to feel like you can you tell me. Things like not being able to sleep. I want you to wake me up. I want you to rely on me”  
“You needed sleep”  
He was in a coma for 6ish movements. He was ok without sleeping... maybe not ok, there was a tiny nagging fear in the back of his head that he wouldn’t wake up again or he’d wake up months later... but that wasn’t what Lance needed to hear  
“So do you. I don’t want to hear it from Curtis”  
Lance bit his lip as he looked down, mumbling   
“He’s... helped a lot”  
“You’re not in trouble for relying on him”  
“You get mad when I say something about him. I can smell it”  
“I’m not mad... I’m jealous. I’m jealous he’s been here with you and not me”  
“There’s nothing going on between me and Curtis”  
Ah. Right. He’d been kind of a jealous idiot in the past... He was supposed to be attempting not to sound like a jealous idiot  
“No. No. I know that. It hit me hard to see you sleeping on him this morning, because you didn’t come back to bed. Then you were... you were joking and I was on the outside... It made me feel... shitty”  
“I’m not trying to disclude you... Me and Curtis, we’ve kind of got an understanding. The wrestling thing... It’s just a joke”  
“A joke I don’t get”  
“Curtis and Shiro love arm wrestling. They babysat me after Shiro’s competition in Altea and let’s say it definitely made them horny. He and Shiro totally had sex when Shiro brought you here. You haven’t missed a whole lot of anything. I’m sorry, but can we go back to bed now. It hurts standing still. Then again, it hurts laying down...”  
“Can I do anything to help?”  
“No. Curtis is going to pick me up a couple of heat pads for my lower back”  
“Then... do you feel up to cuddling? Or I can give you a massage? Whatever you need... I want to give it to you”  
“I need some sleep”  
“Then I’ll stay by your side while you sleep. We’re going to get through this together and you’re going to be an amazing father when the time comes”  
Lance shuffled forward the few inches between them, letting his head drop against Keith’s shoulder  
“Promise you won’t... you won’t go again... not somewhere I can’t go with you... somewhere I can’t reach you”  
Kissing his husband’s hair, Keith sighed to himself mentally. He’d well and truly scared his husband the night of the explosion, then fucked up by tiptoeing around Curtis. He knew Lance needed stability. He fucking knew it. If only he could have remembered what drove his decisions that night   
“I won’t, babe. I won’t. No more missions. No more tours. No more of that. Come on, let’s get you settled down. You’re rambling”

*  
Keith was conked out beneath Lance as Lance stroked his husband’s silky black hair. Keith coming home should have been the happiest moment of his life. All his troubles should have been halved by having Keith back by his side. So why was it so hard to talk to him? Why was he so nervous to be alone with him? He didn’t get it. His wish had come true. His hope that Keith would wake had finally come true. He should have been feeling better. He should have been happy. He couldn’t be happier to feel Keith’s heartbeat against his chest. He couldn’t be happier that Keith was awake. He’d been so nervous about talking to him or calling him. He was scared that Keith would yell at him. He was scared his husband would hate him for leaving. He was scared of how messed up not having Keith had made him. How easily it was to hate himself when Keith wasn’t there to call him “beautiful” or “gorgeous”. He was scared that he liked the way it felt when he hurt himself again. Pain brought focus. Pain was pleasure, unless it was the chronic pain that sat across his lower back. He was scared of the things he was forgetting. He didn’t know it was another four days until Keith’s birthday. Curtis did need to visit the Garrison, but the main reason for Curtis taking the whole day was to plan for Keith’s birthday. A birthday dinner with the three of them was hardly much of a birthday, so Lance wanted it to be special. He was so fucking frustrated from his back pain and angry that he’d forgotten it was close to Keith’s birthday that he’d cried himself to sleep against Curtis. Feeling he didn’t have the right to return to Keith’s side. He felt like he was weighing his husband down. He felt as if Keith would leave because he’d gone so far backwards. Krolia hated him... He lived in the constant fear she would call and demand Keith back by her side.

Shifting in his sleep, Keith sighed his name softly as he tried to curl into his hold. How could he question Keith’s love for him? Maybe he needed to get laid? He knew Keith felt a certain kind of arousal when they kissed. Maybe acting like idiots would bring them back together? Spanning that divide between his heart and his head with the most basic of instincts. He knew the pleasure Keith brought. He knew the way his mind blanked under his husband’s skilled hands. The way the muscles in his thighs jumped and twitched as Keith drained him dry. But was it safe? No one had told him that Keith had been in a pod. That’s not to say he wouldn’t have worried every single bit as much as he had since his husband surprised him in the kitchen. It would have told him that Keith was more sound in body and mind than he’d known...

Between his legs started growing slick as his hand slid down Keith’s smooth chest. Would he pushing himself too far, when he couldn’t shower with Keith in the room? He wanted that feeling again. That desperate hunger or raw want that’s clouded Keith’s eyes each time they glanced at each other. He wanted to know his husband still desires him, even when he was as heavily pregnant as he was. His body was starving for that physical contact, his dick twitching with interest. He wanted Keith. He wanted Keith to want him. To chose him. To pick him. 

Nuzzling into Keith’s cheek, his hand slid to rest on Keith’s belly. He wasn’t forcing Keith, not if Keith didn’t want him. Kissing his cheek, his husband turned his face so the next kiss met his lips, a smile on Keith’s lips as his eyes fluttered open. Yawning, Keith slipped an arm around his waist, hand hanging limply  
“I love you”  
“I love you, too. How long did you sleep?”  
“A little while”  
“Mmm. And is there any reason I’m being woken up with kisses?”  
“I love you”  
Kissing him, Lance let himself feel the warmth of Keith’s lips against his, when Keith slowly coaxed him onto his back, he obliged. Kissing him deeply, arousal spiked Keith’s scent, his husband quick to break the kiss  
“Lance...”  
“I want to”  
“I don’t want to hurt you”  
Lance’s heart dropped, his expression hurt  
“I want you”  
“I know... but you’ve been in so much pain”  
“It’s ok...”  
“It’s not ok. I don’t want to hurt you any more than you are”  
“I understand. I won’t ask again”  
“Hey. Wait. I’m not saying...”  
“Keith. It’s ok. I get it. Let me up”  
He felt humiliated. Embarrassed at making the suggestion. He made Keith horny, but he didn’t want him  
“Lance. Stop. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not true. I want you. I always want you. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to stress your body”  
“I get it... I get it. You don’t have to lie. I’m not forcing myself on you... forget I said anything”  
“Babe. You’re...”  
“I’m going to make some lunch. You don’t have to come out if you don’t feel like it”  
“I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to give me yourself physically when you’re not ready”  
He wouldn’t have offered if he hadn’t spent the last however long since he’d peed watching over Keith sleep and wrestling with the decision oh what to do  
“I’m not made of glass! I want... I want my husband to want me. I want to find... I want to work out our new normal. I... I want to go back to before... when we were happy. I want to go back to not feeling like that. I want... I want you to choose me and to want me”  
Keith rubbed his hand against Lance’s stomach, Lance not sure how to interpret that   
“I do want you. I promise I want you”  
“Then... can we try?”  
“If it won’t hurt you”  
“I want to be with you”  
“Then let me take care of you”

Stripped of his clothes, Lance clutched the bed head with both hands. Keith thought missionary would only hurt his back further, telling him to kneel facing the wall. Kissing his way across his shoulders, he fondled Lance’s breasts, the pain sending shivers down his spine as he grew wetter. They’d grown so heavy, milk starting to spill as Lance twisted, seeking his husband’s lips. He wanted more. His thighs were twitching like mad, body eager for Keith to hurry up. Whining into the kiss he was granted, his husband massaged his left breast harder, his right hand sliding down across the taunt skin on his heavy belly to grasp his leaking erection. They’d barely started and his body was betraying him with his need. Bucking up into Keith’s hand, his husband began kissing his way along his jawline, moving down to nip at his shoulder  
“Fuck, Keith...”  
“Patience... I’m going to eat this arse of yours than I’m going to make you scream”  
“Nnnngh. Dirty... just... fuck...”  
He hadn’t cleaned up or prepped himself... the release of the heavy feeling in his chest felt amazing, milk leaking from both nipples as he whimpered. Keith dragging his tongue across his shoulder, illicting new feelings and sensations, nosing at his back, his husband rutted against his arse  
“Shit... babe... you smell so good”  
Lance was over the foreplay  
“Stop teasing me... wanna cum with you”  
“So impatient”  
“Keith...”  
“Trust me baby”

Releasing his breast and his throbbing erection, Keith held his arse cheeks apart as he tongued at his fingered wide opening. Shudders and mews left Lance wrecked, Keith’s face completely buried against his arse, alternating between fucking his opening with the tip of his tongue and lapping at the sensitive ring of muscle. Lance’s chest heaved, breasts bouncing as he rolled his hips, desperate for more as his orgasm raced to hit. Shameless as he fucked himself on his husband’s tongue. Keith’s fingers felt amazing... but there something so dirty about Keith eating him out  
“Keith... Keith... fuck... oh fuck... fuck... oh fuck... ah... ah...”  
He couldn’t help it. He had to come. He had to... he was going to break if he didn’t. Frustratingly, Keith ran his tongue up his arse, kissing the small of his back. He was so close  
“You’re already loose for me... and so fucking wet”  
“Keith...”  
“I’ve got you, babe”

The bed dipped behind as Keith moved, one hand holding his arse as his husband lined himself up, teasing him with the tip of the his dick, he’d barely breached him when Lance’s orgasm hit. He’d forgotten how intense his orgasms with Keith were. Each time he came he failed to find the right words for how hard the release was, his cum splattering across bottom of his stomach, dick trapped between his pillow and the swell. Burying himself in Lance’s heat, a scream died in his throat. Fuck... He might just be a slut for the feeling of his husband’s dick  
“I’m not going to last... how do you want it”  
“Hard”  
Grabbing a fistful of hair, Keith pulled back, bowing his throat as he drove up  
“Oh fuck... you feel so fucking good”  
“M-move... Dios... oh Dios... tan bueno... tan bueno...”  
Keith’s dick stretched him perfectly. They probably should have prepped more... but fuck... He’d been confused about sex, he was still confused about sex... but oh Dios was his husband the good kind of clumsy at this   
“Lance... shit...”  
Kissing him, Lance tasted himself on his husband’s lip, the kiss hungry. Unable to hold the position, he gasped for air, releasing the bed head with his left hand to support his belly. Keith latching onto his throat as Lance lost control, weirdly orgasming while wetting himself as Keith panted   
“... babe... I’m close...”  
Nodding, Keith pulled him back into another kiss as his husband’s dick swelled, Keith moaning into his mouth, hips stuttering as he came, driving up hard and making Lance’s belly bounce with each hard thrust. Fuck... he was done. Too much pleasure starting to turn poisonous... plus, he’d wet himself... and now he was getting teary   
“Keith...”

Pulling him to kneel over his lap, Keith peppered kisses to his shoulder. His thrusts were more jolts, Keith’s breath hot down his spine, sending goosebumps across his skin, as he closed his eyes  
“... I made a mess”  
Wrapping his arms around him, Keith turned his face towards him  
“Oh babe, hey. It’s ok”  
“I didn’t...”  
“I know. It’s you and me. We’ll get all this cleaned up. How do you feel?”  
“Drained?”  
Keith rolled his eyes at him  
“Other than that?”  
“Good... sore, tired, sleepy”  
“You don’t... you know... regret it?”  
Lance shook his head. No... he just wished he had more control of his pea sized bladder  
“No. No...”  
“Good... I love you”  
“I love you, too...”

Keith was always good at the after care part of sex. Supporting him from the bedroom to the bathroom, his husband sat him down on the toilet. Starting the shower and adjusting the water, Keith then helped him over to it. Hissing slightly as the water hit his skin, he was still itchy almost all the time. Hot water made it worse, yet the temperature felt amazing. Placing his hands against the wall, he let the water roll down his back  
“Babe. I don’t want to invade your privacy if you’d rather shower alone, but if you don’t, maybe I could clean you up?”  
Lance hummed... he didn’t want to try his luck cleaning up and risking slipping  
“Thanks... my centre of gravity is off”  
“That’s because you’re swollen with our pups”  
“I hadn’t noticed...”  
Slipping into the shower behind him, Keith grabbed the body wash off the in built shelf   
“Let me know if I hurt you”  
Lance hummed again. Everything hurt, his husband’s gentle fingers were the least of his problems  
“Babe, I need words”  
“I’m fine... just be careful with my lower back”  
“How bad?”  
“Could be better”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
Because paracetamol was hardly enough to make a dent on his pain, then he’d been seated in his husband’s lap. He wasn’t as flexible as he’d been as he was too scared to try anything that would cause a fall, including yoga. Working out and stretching with Curtis, he had that safety net  
“Everything hurts when you’re this big... I still have movements of this to go... I get pain down my leg from a pinched nerve or something”  
“Babe...”  
“Keith. I’ve made it this far...”  
Crap, he’d been going to say that Curtis took really good care of him. He’d been the one to pick up on his oral thrush, after all   
“I don’t want you to be suffering”  
“I’m...”  
He’d been suffering. He was still suffering with his depression... He felt fat and gross, rolling over from side to side was like preforming a three point turn at this stage  
“... I’m going to get through this”  
“We’re going to get through this. The four of us”  
“Mmm. Yeah”  
Lance wasn’t sure he believed it, but for the first time in a long time he wanted to.


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone turned one day into 2 and a bit chapters... someone is also not sorry...
> 
> Someone also loves you all for sticking with me this long

Lance was quietly excited as Keith tied his boots for him. Curtis was letting them take a walk in the woods with Kosmo, unsupervised. Happy that the two of them had seemed to work out their initial awkwardness after being reunited, as well as what Lance suspected to be relieved that Keith didn’t actually dislike him, they were allowed out to spend an hour or so exploring. After they’d showered, Keith had suggested making Curtis dinner to help ease Lance’s guilty conscious after “doing the do”. Not that he really remembered. Things kept slipping away. He’d spent a good ten minutes in the kitchen after breakfast, forgetting he was supposed to be putting his plate in the sink. Having double knotted both his boots, Keith rose up, kissing his bump then kissing his forehead as he started fussing over the buttons on Lance’s jacket. The weather was ridiculously cold outside, so Lance was bundled up with a beanie, gloves and scarf on top of long pants, a long shirt and a jacket. He’d told them he’d most likely end up dripping sweat, but the warm clothing was mandatory  
“You’ve got your comms, haven’t you? And you’ll be sending Kosmo if something goes wrong?”  
Lance rolled his eyes  
“Yes, Curtis. We’ve both got our comms. We’re not going far, maybe to the lake to look at it. Kosmo is coming with us and we’ll be back in time”

Lance didn’t want Keith getting jealous again. Keith didn’t know the real reason they were leaving was so Curtis could bake Keith’s birthday cake. Tonight when Keith was in bed they’d decorate so they could surprise him in the morning. Tomorrow was his birthday, Lance also quietly happy about that. He was still a little scared that Curtis fussing would upset him. Curtis had picked up on Keith’s cranky moods, asking him about how their day together had been as Keith remade their bed thanks to him having an “accident”. Given Curtis had the general gist of things, Curtis was happy they’d talked. Lance was happy the following day when Keith asked Curtis if he could help make breakfast. Keith may have burnt the toast, stinking the cabin out and sending him “running” for the sink to throw up, but it was all kind of nicely domestic. Having Keith also meant that his Mami now had someone to talk to over how he was doing. She was very excited to to hear Keith was awake. Krolia had let her know, Lance had the habit of forgetting to reply to her messages. She wanted them to come stay with her at the farm, but for Lance, if they weren’t going either to the shack, or to Erathus, he wasn’t keen on going anywhere. His people paranoia was sky high, so why feed the anxiety beast inside?

“I’m just making sure. I know you’ll be safe with Kosmo, but it’s wet out there. Keith, make sure he doesn’t try to go too hard too fast”  
“He won’t. Ready to go, babe?”  
Lance nodded, Keith taking his hand then squeezed gently  
“Yeah. We’ll be back soon”  
“Just both of you be careful”  
“We will. Promise. Right pinky and all”  
Curtis crossed then uncrossed his arms, seeming a little lost  
“Okay... well... I guess I’m going to clean... or whatever it is that parents do when the kids are out”  
“Curtis, we both know the tick Keith and I are gone, you’re going to be watching wrestling. Now go worry on the sofa”  
Letting Keith tow him away from the living room, Lance gave Curtis a small wave goodbye. He was so ready to get out of the cabin and explore that it wasn’t funny. 

*  
Taking their walk slowly, Lance held both his arm and his hand as they ambled through the woods near the cabin. Kosmo had found something to chase, leaving them alone to walk in a comfortable silence. With his nose pressed to the sleeve of Keith’s hoodie, Keith knew his husband was smiling without having to see his face. Letting their feet lead them, part of him was on constant guard. Double checking the space around them to ensure Lance didn’t slip in the mud or slick leaves. This whole nature thing had its appeal. Especially when the forest was almost as beautiful as his husband   
“What are you so happy about?”  
Breaking the silence, Lance dug his chin into his arm as he gazed up at him  
“Who said I’m happy?”  
“I can smell it on you”  
Reaching up, Keith rubbed the pad of his thumb across Lance’s bright blue mark beneath his left eye  
“You. I’m happy that I’m with you”  
Blushing softly, Keith was still amazed that something like that could make his husband blush. He’d started to notice that some people barely blushed at all... not like Lance, who seemed to be able to blush over everything   
“I’m happy too. This makes a nice change to walking around the veranda of the cabin and those stupid stretches”  
“Those stretches aren’t stupid. They’re good for your back”  
“Mmm. I’m still on the fence about that one. I feel like a whale when I’m on the floor”  
“You’d be the cutest whale in the cosmos”  
“Not the universe?”  
“Mum and I did spend two years living on a pretty spectacular space whale”  
“Don’t think I’m still not pissed about that”  
“But are you really?”  
“I don’t know. I don’t want to think about the past. This here is nice”  
“Yeah. It is”

Lapsing back into silence they walked for another good 10 minutes before finding a fallen tree to take a rest on. Keith hated the loss in stamina. He felt slightly drained from their walk, despite the fact it’d been more of slow amble. Sitting beside his husband, he rested his head on Lance’s shoulder, still holding his hand firmly as he raised it to kiss the back of it  
“Are you alright?”  
“Yeah. Your twins are kicking up a storm again. I miss the days when my ribs weren’t used as a xylophone”  
“A what?”  
“A musical instrument. How about you? This isn’t too much?”  
“No. I’m all healed up, remember”  
“That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take it slow”’  
“I don’t remember you saying that in the shower this morning”  
Lance squeaked out a splutter, Keith smiling at the sound. Sex was hard on Lance’s body. Doggy style seemed to work best, but he didn’t want to over do it. Blowing Lance in the shower, his husband had been oozing sex appeal  
“Yeah. And that nearly got us caught by Curtis”  
Keith shrugged. If Curtis could walk in on then applying cream to Lance’s sore nipples than he could survive accidentally catching them   
“Worth it”  
“He’s our friend”  
“I didn’t say he wasn’t. Speaking of friends... I don’t want to upset you, so you can say no, but you mentioned Krystaal. I know he kissed me... but no one told me what else he did that night. You said he was involved with the attack on the planet?”

Lance cocked his head as he tilted away from him, allowing him to look Keith in the face properly   
“No one told you?”  
“If they did, I can’t remember”  
“I... I don’t know if I should then...”  
“Babe. You said his name in your sleep last night. I want to understand”  
Lance closed his eyes, before leaning back into him   
“He was... He was in love with you and didn’t appreciate my presence by your side. He basically teamed up with the princess of the planet. He wanted me gone and the princess wanted to manipulate the Coalition into giving them more military aid and stuff”  
“Oh”  
Krystaal had been his closest friend... The wound his actions caused cut deep, the band aid over it barely in place. Taking a few deep breaths, Lance than opened his eyes   
“Yeah. Basically it was big shit storm. He locked himself down. He wouldn’t talk and... and I said you were dead. I was so mad at him. I was so mad at everything he put me through that I wanted to hurt him as badly as possible. All his attempts to ruin our marriage made me feel physically sick. He carved one of those messed up “y” things on his arm to mess with me. He... he was behind all the press stuff. Photos of you kissing went across the media as well as the recordings about me and it was... a mess”  
“You told him I was dead?”  
That kind of stung...  
“Because I wanted him to break. I wanted him to feel as alone and awful as I did... I wanted him to confess what he’d done so we could work everything out... and... it was my biggest fear. I was scared you were and some kind of alien tech was making you seem alive. I was scared that you were gone but they didn’t want to tell me because I’m weak...”

Squeezing Lance’s hand, Keith got that. He got that fear. It was kind of the same feeling he had each time Lance was taken away from him and locked inside a pod where he was forced to watch on from the sidelines. He was torn with his feeling over Krystaal, though. He was once his friend... meaning it was hard to hear the truth. Yet hearing the truth ruined the rest of the friendship he thought they’d have   
“You’re not weak”  
“I feel pretty weak”  
“You’re not. You’re amazing. Are they kicking?”  
“They’re awake. Lately it feel more like they’d kicking my ribs and bladder out of spite”  
“I’m sure they’re just like you...”  
“What makes you say that?”  
“You’ve never been great at staying still”  
Lance rolled his eyes at him  
“They get their energy from you”  
“Nope. I’d bet GAC they’re more like you”  
“Don’t ruin my dreams. I’ve seen your baby photos, and you were adorable”  
Keith put on a playful pout  
“So I’m not adorable anymore?”  
“You are. My adorable half-idiot. Still, I can’t believe I’m going to get even bigger before they’re born”  
“It’s kind of amazing... Have you thought about any names for our boys?”  
Lance hummed, snuggling into his side as he did  
“I was thinking we could name one each... I have a couple of names I like, but I feel like until we meet them, we won’t know their names”  
“‘Maybe... Korra is a pretty name”  
“For a baby girl. I’m still scared they’re going to end up with a body like mine... kids can be so cruel”

Keith melted. Kids could be complete and total arseholes, that grow into even bigger arseholes instead of out their douchy behaviour. Entitled kids even more so. James was a prime example. Nuzzling into Lance’s hair he pressed three hard kisses to Lance’s scalp as he did  
“There’s nothing wrong with your body. There’s nothing wrong with you”  
“I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree on... that...”  
Yawning softly, Lance tried to wriggle even closer to him. His husband was getting sleepy and cuddly. The weather was perfect for snuggling on the sofa watching bad movies   
“Do you want to head back?”  
“Not just yet... this is nice”  
“Babe, when you say I smell like bonfires and the forest, is that what you mean?”  
Lance jolted slightly, a hand moving to his belly   
“Babe?”  
“One of your twins is an arsehole. Your scent... this is weak compared to how you smell to me... it’s nice though. Maybe it’s because it’s a safe scent that I went sleepwalking?”  
“You haven’t been sleepwalking since I got here”  
Nightmares. He’d had back to back screaming nightmares that scared the quiznak out of him, but no sleepwalking thankfully   
“No. Before... it’s one of those things that I know I did but can’t really remember. Mmm... I feel gross”  
“Gross?”  
Moving from kissing his hair to trying to see Lance’s face, his husband looked down to the right pocket of his jacket   
“Head... crap...”  
Fumbling his hand into his pocket, Lance pulled out a wad of tissues and shoved it up against his face   
“Babe?”  
“Calm down. It’s a blood nose”

Lance had told him about how sick he’d gotten before Curtis got him medication for his oral thrush. He’d been so uncomfortable he hadn’t been able to eat or drink, leading him to get sicker. He’d also thought all his symptoms came from his slip up. The frequency of his blood noses was less than it’d been, yet Keith still worried about anything that wasn’t “normal”  
“You said gross”  
“I failed the English... it’s not seizure gross”  
Lance sounded as if he was being accused, Keith wasn’t trying accuse him. It just wasn’t the first time that “gross” had led to a seizure   
“I didn’t say it was”  
His husband sighed, folding the bundle of tissues up so the bloody side was down before pressing back to his nose  
“Sorry. If you hadn’t noticed my moods yoyo”  
“Your moods aren’t that bad”  
Lance nudged him gently  
“You’re horny again, aren’t you?”  
“I’m not always horny”

That wasn’t exactly true. If he was allowed, Lance wouldn’t be leaving their bed. His instincts were being driven crazy by his husband’s pregnancy. He couldn’t help but want to mark him all over, smother him in his scent and make sure Lance knew how loved and wanted he is. With how his husband’s pregnancy sat, the pressure bearing down caused random jolts of arousal to spike his scent. Keith was in awe and in love with Lance’s changing form... he wanted to fall to his knees and worship him  
“Ok. Keep telling yourself that”  
“It’s not like I’m the only one”  
Lance groaned at him  
“You really wanna shag me right here in the middle of the forest?”  
“Now who’s embracing the 70’s?”  
“Shut up. You still have a mullet”  
“You love it”  
Lance waved his hand dismissively   
“I love you. The mullet unfortunately comes with the rest of the package. Though I’m not completely sure why I love you...”  
“Because I’m your husband?”  
“Riiiiiiigh. Husband. How could I forget?”  
“I don’t know. It’s a good thing I’m here to remind you”  
Lance was smiling, wiping at his nose the bleeding seemed to have stopped  
“It is. I know I’m being weird about figuring this out, but I’m really... I’m really relieved you’re awake”  
Keith could have chosen to take him seriously, but Lance needed all the happiness he could   
“Celebratory blow job?”  
His husband’s eyes widened, Lance cackling with laughter a half tick later when it sunk in  
“Oh my god! You really are incorrigible!”  
“If that means I’m charming and hilarious, I completely agree”  
“Oh, babe. It means whatever you want it to believe... Fuck it... let’s go home. I’m worried for my virtue if I stay out in the forest with you”  
“You do realise you’re already pregnant with my sons?”  
“Is that your way of saying I should blow you?”  
“If you’re offering”  
Lance wiped at his eyes, still laughing   
“If I get down that low, I’m not getting back up. Sorry, babe. You’ll have to be good and wait until we get back home. Cold weather and all that stuff”  
“I could warm you up...”

Cupping Lance’s cheek, Keith kissed his husband deeply. Lance silenced as he leaned into the kiss, their was coppery tang from his husband’s bloody nose, and it was hard to be serious when Lance broke the kiss with a giggly laugh. Raising an eyebrow, he gave it a shot anyway  
“Babe, are you serious?”  
“I can’t help it. I can’t stop laughing. If I could, I would have”  
“You’re going to wet yourself if you don’t stop”  
“Don’t remind me. I have to pee as it is”  
“Then go pee”  
“I don’t want to get up. I don’t trust you not to ogle my arse”  
“I can’t make that promise”

Keith didn’t keep his promise. He didn’t peak as Lance peed, but he also didn’t keep his hands to himself. Lance had an amazing arse that deserved attention. With his palms flat against one of the massive trees, Lance had dissolved into a chant of Spanish as Keith rode him hard. With no need to stifle their voices, or hide their desires, it was hard and fast. Loud and messy. His husband’s warm walls drew him in deeply, he was so fucking wet for him that it slickness was spread across his whole crotch. The lewd slapping of wet skin drove him crazy as he gripped his husband’s hips, bringing him to orgasm before pulling out and coming between Lance’s thighs and down the tree like Lance had. “Collapsing” against his husband. Keith shuddered through his orgasm, strength spent as Lance supported them. When the heat of their sex passed, Keith started shivering. The temperature felt as if it’d dropped 10 degrees since they started. The forest shadows had grown long and darker. Above them a bird cried out, causing Lance to whimper. With more restraint than he’d had 5 minutes ago, Keith cleaned his husband up the best he could with their limited resources, then made sure Lance was properly redressed. He’d made sure Lance wanted to have sex, but that could have also been thanks to his husband’s increased sex drive. He really should have taken his time to bring him to pieces in the safety of the cabin. Not in the middle nowhere. Not that it hadn’t felt amazing. Cleaning himself up with less care, they were both going to need to shower when they got back to cabin. The cold weather the perfect excuse.

With Kosmo having deserted them, Keith tracked their footprints back to the cabin. Lance was asleep on his feet, leaning heavily against him as he nuzzled into Keith’s shoulder. The mood between them was good. Krystaal was niggling at the back of Keith’s mind, but that was more a reminder to call his mother over what Lance had said. It was odd how content he felt. His husband still loved him deeply, he seemed to be improving steadily with every day that passed... other than the nightmares that was. Perhaps he was still blissed out from his high, but he was happy. He didn’t miss the pressure of Daibazaal, nor did he miss the grey and purple decor of the palace. They’d broached the name topic, which excited him. He had a few ideas of his own, yet Lance was right. He wanted to meet his boys before they settled on a name. Their boys. They needed to book an appointment with Lance’s obstetrician, but it was only October, Lance wasn’t due for movements. His husband would talk to him when he was ready to make said appointment, and until then, he was happy to stay in this little bubble. 

Reaching the cabin, Keith came to a stop. Eyes wide in surprise  
“There you two are! I was thinking I’d have to come find you both”  
Jolting at the voice, Lance whimpered as he took half a step back. Standing on the veranda, Krolia leant against the rail. His mother nursing a mug of something steaming as she smiled at the pair of them. As far as Keith knew this was the first time Lance had seen Krolia since they’d fought. The mood they’d built with Lance being so cuddly felt shattered  
“Mum? What are you doing here?”  
“I came to check in on you. You shouldn’t be walking around the forest in such cold weather. Especially you, Lance. Come inside and get warmed up”  
Lance clutched his hand harder. His husband forcing down deep breaths, his scent turning panicked. Turning Keith kissed Lance’s temple  
“It’s ok, babe. It’s ok. I’m here...”  
“She hates me... I know she hates me...”  
“No she doesn’t. I promise”  
“She was mad I left”  
Krolia was acting as if nothing happened. Keith was sure his mother would apologise. Lance was worn out and emotionally compromised from being so sleepy  
“Come on you two. Korra is sleeping in your bed, so you have no excuse not to spend the day with me”  
Lance was going to go down for a nap. They were going to cuddle up, put some dumb movie on and nap the afternoon away...   
“I don’t... I don’t know if I can handle this”  
“You’ll be ok. Let’s get cleaned up, then we can cuddle”  
“She was so mad... the way she grabbed my wrist”  
Lance was panicking. His breathing control going out the window  
“Babe. Hey. It’s mum. I know she regrets what happened... shit, here. Come on”

Supporting Lance into the cabin, Keith gave a nod to Curtis as they passed. He couldn’t take his husband to their room, lest they wake Korra, so he led him through to sit on the edge of Curtis’s bed. Crouching down, he placed Lance’s hand on his chest  
“Breathe with me, babe”  
Closing the door softly behind him, Curtis kept his distance as Keith forced himself to breathe as evenly as possible  
“What happened?”  
“Panic attack. He’s scared mum hates him”  
“Ah. I did think of messaging you when she arrived, but she wanted it to be a surprise. Did he tell you about that night?”  
“A little. He said something about her grabbing his wrist?”  
“Hard enough to leave him bruised. Shiro was worried that something like this would happen. Keith, do you want to stay with Lance while I talk to Krolia?”  
“Lance and I both need to take a shower from walking around out in that weather”  
“Lance does look flushed. I’ll run all the interference I can”  
“Thanks, Curtis. Can you grab... actually, never mind. We can change into the clothes in the bathroom”  
“I don’t mind. I was getting worried when Kosmo came back without you”  
“That’s because he’s a traitor”  
Lance’s rasp brought a smile to Keith’s face  
“He is. Better?”  
“Bit... you go see your mum. I’ll shower”  
And risk a slip. It wasn’t happening. Lance was still flushed and shaking. Keith doubted he could clean himself up properly. The last thing Lance needed was to panic further from not being clean  
“Mum can wait. She didn’t even say she was coming. Curtis, do you know why she’s here?”  
She hadn’t called ahead. That wasn’t like her. Seeing Korra was sleeping safely in their room, she wasn’t there to deliver bad news about his sister   
“No. No idea. I’ll go tell her you’re taking a shower. Don’t rush it for her sake. Lance, don’t worry about anything. I’ll talk to Krolia. If you’re not feeling well, then take a nap. I’ve got everything organised”  
Lance nodded, his chest heaving as he looked incredibly guilty   
“Thanks Curtis... I’ll be ok... I’m just... I wasn’t expecting to see her... Keith... I don’t... don’t be on edge with her”  
Keith pushed himself up to his feet, taking Lance’s hand into his as he kissed his husband’s forehead  
“Babe, picking a fight is the last thing on my mind. Let’s get you showered. We’ll be there soon Curtis. Thanks”

Lance insisted he was fine to shower alone. Keith didn’t listen. Not when his husband started rubbing at his left wrist unconsciously. His focus completely off, mumbling answers that had nothing to do with the questions Keith asked. Dressing in what they’d been wearing as pyjamas, Lance looked a little lost as Keith led him out the living area, where Krolia was sitting in one recliner and Curtis in the other  
“I hope you boys warmed up”  
“We dressed pretty warmly, mum”  
That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to fuss over Lance. Helping his husband sit, Keith grabbed the blanket off the back of the sofa, covering his husband’s legs before slotting himself between Lance the sofa arm. Wrapping his arm around his husband, Lance sank into his warmth. His scent was still uneven, Keith kissing his husband’s hair in attempt to reassure him  
“That’s beside the point. The last thing Lance needs is to get sick”  
“I’ve been taking care of him, haven’t I, Babe?  
“Yeah... Keith and Curtis have taken care of me”

Climbing to his feet, Kosmo yawned as he stretched, before padding softly over nudge at Lance’s knees for pats. Looking to his human, Kosmo huffed before laying himself down between them and Krolia   
“That’s good. Still, you shouldn’t be out in such cold weather. You’re carrying much lower now. It won’t be long before the birth”  
Keith raised an eyebrow at his mother. Lance deserved an apology not a lecture. Curtis cleared his throat  
“Would you two like something warm to drink?”  
Lance jumped, pressing himself hard against Keith’s side. So much for his husband gaining more confidence   
“That’d be nice, thanks”  
“I’ll just... go make some tea. Krolia, why don’t you let the boys know why you’re here”  
Half tripping on his own feet, Curtis recovered with embarrassed smile, scratching the back of his head  
“Whoops. Nothing to see here... as you were”  
Living with Curtis, Keith was starting to see why Shiro had fallen so hard for him. Curtis had a pretty weird sense of humour, a clumsy streak that was hidden by his high rank within the Garrison. Whistling as he walked to the kitchen, Krolia’s eyes followed him until he’d reached the counter, before looking back to the pair of them   
“Kolivan and I had some business on Earth to do with the coalition. I couldn’t resist popping by for a visit when I was that close, especially not with Keith’s birthday tomorrow”

Keith blinked, then blinked again. His birthday was tomorrow? Since when was his birthday tomorrow? Laughing, his mother covered her mouth as she shook her head  
“You forgot your own birthday’s tomorrow?”  
Feeling more mocked than appreciated, Keith shot back  
“It’s not my fault!”  
“No. It’s very you. I thought we could talk about what you want for your birthday over dinner. I’ve already got clearance to stay overnight”  
She was... oh no... No. His mother wasn’t staying overnight. Lance was on edge and they’d barely been reunited for an hour. Opening his mouth, Krolia cut over him before he could object  
“It’s your first birthday as a big brother. I thought we should spend it together as a family. It’s also your last birthday before you become a father”  
“Mum... I really wished you’d called...”  
“Why? Do you and Lance already have plans?”  
How could he? He didn’t know his birthday was tomorrow. Lance would have. Lance always kept up with those sorts of things  
“What? No. We were going to have a quiet one...”  
“You didn’t even realise it was your birthday. Kolivan sends his regards, and I brought with me some of your things from your room. I wasn’t expecting the cabin to be quite so isolated”

Carrying over two mugs of tea, Curtis nodded at Krolia’s words  
“You can thank my family for that. I’m grateful we have all our utilities underground. Chopping firewood is bad enough when the sky decides it all needs to be soaked”  
Passing Keith his mug, Curtis winked at Lance who took his mug with shaking hands. There was some kind of silent exchange between them leading to Lance nodding. Backing off, Curtis walked over to take his seat again  
“I’m sure it’s not all that bad. You have been here for over three movements now”  
“The companies good. That’s always a plus. Kosmo hasn’t bitten me again, that’s another plus”  
“Ignore him mum, Curtis is happy he can watch his weird alien wrestling without interruption”  
Over acting, Curtis draped himself out in his recliner  
“Keith, I thought you were on my side”  
“I’m pretty sure I’m on Lance’s side. Hey, babe?”  
Nudging Lance, Lance blinked at him  
“Y-yeah... ‘m sorry. I’m too tired to drink this”  
Keith took Lance’s cup from him, placing his mug down by the arm of the chair as he nursed Lance’s   
“It’s fine. Do you want to lay down? You had a big morning?”  
“No... this is nice”  
Keith stole a kiss, Lance seemed confused by the action before the corners of his lips turned upwards. He was trying. He was trying and Keith couldn’t love him more for it  
“Ok, let me know if you change your mind”  
“I will... they’re moving again...”  
“They’re always moving”  
“This is true...”

“How do you two feel about being parents soon?”  
Lance tensed at Krolia’s question  
“He’s got a while before he’s due, but we’re excited”  
“Do you know how many week he is now?”  
Lance looked to him, Keith looking to Curtis who shrugged   
“Sorry, I don’t know. 28 or so? But you were at the outpost for nearly... a phoeb? I’m not quite sure how time works there, or how long you were there after the surgery”  
“Umm... I think I was 23 weeks... but it’s confused”  
Keith frowned. His husband was past 23 weeks. Well past that... Lance’s eyes turned watery, the topic starting to upset him because he was getting confused. Keith was in a coma, then he was stuck being tested for a damn movement, time in a pod, time here... Krolia was... 4 and a half months along when Lance found out he was pregnant? Nope, he couldn’t do the math   
“I’m pretty sure he’s 30 weeks”  
“So they’ll be here before you know it. Have you discussed names? Yorak is a strong name”  
“Mum, you have to let “Yorak” go. We want to meet our boys first”  
Krolia raised her hands in surrender  
“I’m just saying, it’s a perfectly good name. Especially now Earth knows of the Galra. Now, what was this about surgery?”  
Lance whined softly as he nuzzled into Keith’s side. He knew Lance had anxiety issues around his mother, yet it seemed that one bad incident was weighing too heavily on his husband’s fragile mind  
“Lance left Daibazaal to have surgery. The pod caused some scarring where the bleed occurred. He’s all healed up now. Both him and the twins are doing great”  
“Really? That’s good. When’s your next scan?”  
“We haven’t settled on a date yet. We’re taking things slowly”  
“I’m glad to see your doing so well after so long apart”

Jumping to his feet, Kosmo yipped, then nosed hard at Lance’s legs. Yipping again, their fur son placed his two front paws on the sofa before head butting Lance in the side of the face lightly. Beside him, his husband wrapped an arm around his waist, effectively hiding himself the best he could  
“Lance, is everything ok?”  
Things obviously weren’t ok. Curtis was quick to get to his feet and come over to them. Nudging Kosmo away from his position, Kosmo didn’t put up the fight Keith expected. Squatting down in front of them, Curtis ruffled Lance’s hair  
“Lance, do you want to lie down for bit?”  
“Sorry... I’m not feeling great”  
Nodding, Lance let Curtis gather him away from him. His husband draping his arm over Curtis’s shoulder as Curtis supported him up  
“I’ll settle him down in my bed. Sorry, Krolia. He’s had a big morning before you got here”  
“No. No. If he needs to rest, he should rest. It’s not easy being pregnant”  
If it wasn’t easy being pregnant, why hadn’t his mother apologised? Keith felt more than frustrated as Curtis started towards his room with Lance, yet managed to hold his tongue until Lance and Curtis were down the hall with Kosmo trailing after them.

Feeling his mother’s eyes on him, Keith cast a cool glare towards the woman  
“What was that about?”  
“What was what about?”  
His mother wasn’t stupid  
“You know damn well what I mean. It felt like everything you were saying was to upset him”  
“I wasn’t trying to upset him. I was trying to make conversation”  
“You could see he was upset”  
“I’m trying to make an attempt here”  
“He’s trying too. I know you and he fought over his leaving”  
“That’s because he wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t want him leaving and regretting it”  
“It wasn’t easy for him to leave. It wasn’t easy when I came back either. It was awkward, but we’ve been working on it”  
“Keith...”  
“No. He’s scared of how much you hate him for leaving. He feels guilty for choosing the surgery that he needed due to the bleeding. He feels guilty for leaving me. Yeah. It hurt because I didn’t understand everything. But I listened to him. He had to do what he felt was best for our boys and I’m glad he went to the outpost. I’m glad he was with his brother, and was somewhere he felt safe”

Keith trusted his husband. Wasn’t going to deny him taking comfort in his brother’s presence, plus, Daehra always took amazing care of Lance. She may have missed the oral thrush, but Keith knew Lance would have hidden his symptoms from everyone, not wanting to risk “burdening” them  
“He was safe with us. Do you know how scared we were when you didn’t wake up? We ran every test possible, and all of them couldn’t tell us why you were unconscious. I thought... I thought I was going to lose you. That Korra would never meet her big brother. That you wouldn’t see your children. He acted like you’d already died”  
“Because he was scared! You know Lance. You know he wears his heart on his sleeve. You of all people should understand how scary this pregnancy has been for him. He wants things to go back to normal. He hates this distance between you. He’s always admired you. That’s why he used to be so scared of you... but he wants us to have a good relationship. I want us to have a good relationship, but that won’t happen until you apologise and apologise for hurting him”  
“He was scared? I was scared. I didn’t want anything to happen to him, or your boys. I...”  
“Everyone was scared. He didn’t want to tell you how badly you were upsetting him by not including him in things. You can’t do that with him. He needs to know, so he can understand. All he’s wanted from the beginning was to be good enough to reach your standards”  
“He gave up on you”  
“No. He didn’t. If he truly had, none of us would have been able to find him. He wouldn’t have come here with Curtis if he didn’t think hold onto his hope”  
Krolia sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose  
“I don’t hate him. I’m mad at him for leaving, but I don’t hate him. It hurt to hear his words. That he didn’t seem to believe you’d wake up. He was leaving in the middle of the night after using my comms to authorise himself a wormhole to Erathus. He left your father’s photos by your side... I don’t understand his actions”  
“He said dad was watching over me, wherever he was. I didn’t get it either until I remembered we’d talked about that. He left dad’s photo to watch over me until I woke up again”  
“He did that?”  
“He did. He doesn’t take being married lightly. He’d gladly march off to his own death with a smile on his face if that meant I’d be protected from the same fate. When he comes out, I don’t want you to push him”  
“I’m not trying to push him into anything other than having a conversation. I expected you not to remember your own birthday, yet I thought he would”  
“He probably knew all along. I wouldn’t put it past him and Curtis to have something planned”  
“Then why didn’t you know?”  
Keith shrugged, he wasn’t that fussed about celebrating his birthday. The happiness that came from the day was would come from Lance and his antics. His husband would have something planned, he knew him too well to know the day simply slip by   
“Lance was probably keeping it a surprise. We don’t get a lot of excitement here”  
“You went for a walk in the forest. Has your full strength returned?”

Keith looked down to the mug in his right hand. He had a long way to go before he’d be up to the same standard as he used to be. His mother should know how weak he was. She’d been there when they’d first made him walk again after the explosion  
“I’m still weaker than I was. Curtis has me doing the same exercises Lance does, to build my strength back up”  
“Has it helped?”  
“When Shiro first brought me here, I barely made it through the walk. I’m not rushing it. Even with our walk, we took it slow and took a break”  
“I’m relieved your not rushing things. Though I do wish you’d stayed on Daibazaal longer”  
“Mum, if I’d stayed they’d wanted to do more tests. I’m mostly fine. I still don’t remember that movement, but I’m mostly ok with that. I do wish I could remember what happened with Krystaal. I know Lance would have been upset by it”  
“You two talked it out. He did feel the need to shoot Krystaal over the incident. He took your distress more to heart than the incident”  
Keith could almost picture Lance with his blaster plotting to shoot Krystaal over kissing him  
“He does that”  
“Has he spoken about the rumours and photos?”  
“No. He’s still working through a lot. Wait. No. I’m being mad at you for upsetting him, you don’t get to change topic that easily”  
“It wasn’t my intention to upset him. I thought he’d be over it by now”  
“He shouldn’t have to “be over it”

“You two better not be fighting in here”  
Walking back into the living area, Curtis has his arms cross in a clear self hug. Ignoring the fact they’d been having a semi-private conversation, Curtis dropped down into the space Lance had vacated   
“How is he?”  
“Curled around Kosmo. Cried himself to sleep after I gave him some paracetamol. He felt a little warm. Before he fell asleep he did say he was scared that you two would have an argument because of him. Normally when he’s this down I get him and moving to distract him. I really hoped he’d have a good morning”  
Krolia finally had the grace to seem uncomfortable   
“If he’s that upset, maybe it’s best I leave?”  
That’d only make Lance feel worse. What his husband and his mother needed to was sit down and talk all this out when Lance wasn’t quite so tired. Keith felt no particular guilt in Curtis stating Lance cried himself to sleep. No guilt on his behalf, as it wasn’t exactly his fault that his mother had been a bitch  
“No. He said he wanted you to stay and spend some time with Keith. And that’d be good for Keith to spend some time with Korra. He’s sorry he’s upset. Give him a few hours to nap it off and get his head together, he’ll bounce back”  
Trust Lance to be the most responsible person in the room, despite the fact he wasn’t actually in the room  
“Soooo. Yep. Lance is going to be out for a few hours, is there anything the pair of you want to do? If memory serves me correctly, there’s some jigsaw puzzles in the root cellar... I have a few novels laying about if you’re interested. Or there’s always television. What do you usually do to relax?”  
“Train. We don’t have a lot of down time with the empire to run”  
Poor Curtis was trying to accommodate Krolia, Keith suspecting he was miffed with her for upsetting Lance yet attempting to be polite. There wasn’t a whole lot to do around the cabin, Keith preferring it that way. It stopped Lance from running himself ragged at any rate. He had his comms meaning he could still work from here, but that was better for his heart than Lance aggravating his back, or risking a slip  
“Ah, well... Lance isn’t up for training, Keith’s progressively regaining his stamina and range of movement. I’d rather you didn’t train in the cabin, or get either of them two excited. They may realise how boring it actually is here”  
“I’m in agreement, these two have had enough excitement to last them. Don’t make any attempts on my behalf, I’m happy enough for the break”  
Normally when Lance needed to lay down, Keith would follow after him. Now he had no idea what to do with himself... The half-Galra looked to Curtis for direction, Curtis sympathetically patting his knee  
“If you’re the bored, you can help with Lunch”  
Krolia clapped her hands together once  
“That’s an excellent idea. Keith, you help Curtis. I’ll check in on your sister”  
Keith sent out a silent prayer that Korra was awake, as all of this felt awkward as hell.

*  
When lunch was ready Keith took his plate of semi-burnt offerings in to Curtis’s room. Lance was sleeping, bump peaking out from beneath the blanket Curtis must have pulled over him. Carrying the plate over to the bedside table Keith set it down with heavy sigh, before sitting on the edge of the bed. He didn’t want to wake Lance up, but if his husband slept all day it’d make it harder for him to sleep at night. Stroking Lance’s hair, his husband nuzzled you into the touch with a small almost chirping sound. Fuck. It was so damn tempting to climb into bed for cuddles when Lance was being adorable   
“Babe, it’s time to wake up”  
On Lance’s other side, Kosmo’s tail started thumping, Keith snorting through his nose as he shook his head  
“No one was talking to you. Go talk to Krolia and Korra”  
The expression on Kosmo’s face told him that his fur son was more interested in the food that his two humans were preventing him from reaching, his nose twitching like crazy  
“This is for Lance. You had a big breakfast, then you abandoned us. You’re going to have to do better than that”  
Keith’s challenge was accepted, Kosmo teleporting out of Curtis’s room. A couple of ticks passing before Krolia was yelling his name. Mumbling, Lance patted around at the spot Kosmo had been in, that seemed to wake him up more than Keith had  
“Babe, it’s time to get up”  
“... don’t want to...”  
“I know, but it’s lunch time”  
“Cuddles?”  
Leaning down to kiss Lance’s cheek, his husband smiled at the gesture   
“I promise I will give you all the cuddles you want, if you eat lunch. Curtis and I cooked”  
“Is it safe?”  
“Burned slightly, but still edible?”  
“Cuddles sound better”  
“I told you, eat then the cuddles”  
“Are you bribing me with burnt offerings?”  
“Yes”  
“Fuck. Why did I marry you again?”  
“Not for my cooking?”

Lance stretched, his shirt riding up as the sheet slipped down. With his free hand, Keith placed it on his husband’s belly, rubbing softly. He may have been slightly clucky after holding his baby sister. She was so small and chubby, and when she wasn’t crying she was kind of really cute. It made him want to meet his boys all that much sooner. Placing his hand on his, Lance let his finger lace loosely as he yawn, before finally looking up at him with a dopey smile on his that sent Keith’s heart doing all kinds of things   
“Agreed... wait, so, hang on... why am I in Curtis’s bed?”  
“Because Korra was in ours. She’s awake now. She’s gotten bigger”  
“Oh...”  
“Yeah. You should see her babe”  
Rolling over with some difficulty, Lance propped himself up as Keith hovered, trying not be concerned by the action  
“Is someone a proud big brother?”  
“Maybe... I’m prouder of these two”  
“You haven’t met these two”  
“No. I’ve met they’re father and he’s pretty awesome”  
“We all know that. What about me?”  
“You... you’re... hmm... how would I describe you?”  
“Tragically good looking when I’m not pregnant? Somewhat beached when I am?”  
“Babe. You’re hot as quiznak, even with you all swollen up with our twins. No. Especially pregnant like this. It shows how far we’ve come”  
Lance bit his lip. Keith wasn’t sure what he’d said wrong  
“What? What’s wrong?”  
“I’m... I love our babies, but this is kind off... exhausting to deal with”  
“I can’t even imagine how you feel, but I am certain I couldn’t have done like you have”  
“I feel like I’m over done. I’m so fucking big. I’ve forgotten what my feet look like”  
“Well... they look like normal feet, buuuut your second toe is longer than your big toe and that’s a bit weird...”  
Poking his tongue out at his husband, he was hit hard in the arm  
“You’re a dick”  
“Hey, no swearing in front of the boys. They’re going to come out and the first thing they’re going to do is tell me “I’m a dick””  
Lance giggled  
“They wouldn’t be wrong”  
“That’s it, mister. You’re eating everything I made. Burnt bits and all”  
“That’s inhumane”  
“I’ll give you “inhumane””

Tickling his husband wasn’t a smart move. Lance laughed for all of two ticks before it went downhill. His husband forceful as he shoved him out the way, then fled Curtis’s room. Keith found him in the bathroom, stripped of his sweats and underwear. Right. Laughing too much made him pee... Sneezing and coughing also had issues. They couldn’t mess around like they used to. Feeling slightly remorseful, Keith fetched his husband a change of pants, Lance teary eyed as he let Keith help him get redressed. Fuck it, he was going to make him something else for lunch, something not so burnt around the edges.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is this 50???  
This wasn’t supposed to be this long!! And I’m still hashing out the next chapter. I’ve also got more hours at work now. My boss lady is a corona panicker... so I start two hours earlier as of Monday... I’m already having gaming withdrawal... I’m also building myself a tree house in minecraft so that’s new... Naturally I’m not in a world with a nice bamboo biome... hurrah.

Wary over Krolia’s presence, Lance loathed his stupid anxieties. They’d had a fight. They’d had a fight because they were both scared for Keith. It’d happened something like 10 movements ago? He wasn’t completely sure. Stomach wise, he was sure he’d had to have grown a foot since then. Whenever it’d been, it’d been long enough that he should be over it. He didn’t want Keith fighting with Krolia, nor did he want Korra having a front row view to her mother and brother bickering. She may not remember, but there were precious memories for his husband. Keith, who never believed he’d have a sibling deserved every moment bonding with her. Her presence made him long for Marco and his Mami. He loved Keith to death, so he felt a little selfish also wanting the familiar contact of his sibling and mother.

Keith insisted on remaking him lunch, despite Lance giving the pasta dish his husband had made a try. With a rich tomato sauce, Curtis clearly wasn’t remembering his allergies, leading him to suspect that Curtis felt on edge with Krolia in the house. He knew they’d fought. He knew Lance understood why Krolia had acted out of fear, yet he also understood what anxiety could be like. It wasn’t fair when it popped its ugly head up. Nursing Korra in the living space, Lance hung out in the kitchen, enjoying watching Keith get flustered as he tried to make him scrambled eggs. His husband remembered not to add too much milk, Lance proud of him for that fact. He had a little a trouble when it came to letting the egg sit a moment in the pan to thicken so it didn’t turn into split granules, then realised his mistake on his own. Concentrating on Keith allowed him to keep himself in check, and self calm as he adjusted to Krolia’s presence. 

Sitting at the dining table, Lance ate slowly. Keith was by his side again  
“Is it any good? We’ve got eggs. I can try again”  
They had eggs because Curtis made the effort to go to town and down the shopping. Lance had tried to offer him money, but Curtis wouldn’t hear of it. Too bad for him that he knew the two greatest techsperts in the universe, allowing him to send money to Curtis. Curtis got the notice of the deposit immediately, shocked and a little annoyed with him, he’d reiterated that he was there with him because he wanted to be, not for the money. It helped Lance’s mental health to contribute. He felt more independent and human when everything wasn’t being handed to him. His survival kind of relied on Curtis, sure, Curtis could land a small pod near the cabin if it was absolutely necessary, yet he always walked the distance, ferrying things around with the help of a hover trolley  
“They’re good. You don’t need to remake them”  
“Are you sure?”  
He’d hit shell twice and they were on the salty side...  
“Yeah, babe. I’m sure”  
Keith beamed with pride. His husband seemed so much more relaxed these days. Lance wasn’t longing for the days of the tour, nor was he longing for his time on Daibazaal, however, he did wonder if Keith did. The exercises Curtis had him do were light, barely raising his heart rate, he worried that his husband missed the time he could have spent training alone if he didn’t feel obligated to stay by his side. He was grateful to have his husband there. More than grateful, despite his need for reassurance over his body. When Krolia has been waiting for them, he’d been so sure she’d make a comment over them having sex in the forest. Initially he hadn’t been in the mood, but his hormones were a mess, blood flooding south as he’d peed and that’d been that. Lance was sure he might had died from shame if she had made a comment, her attempts at conversation had been bad enough with anxieties telling him she was deeply disappointed by their closeness.

Eating until his indigestion grew too uncomfortable, Keith kissed the top of his head as he took his plate. Rewarding him for making the attempt to eat. They both knew that was exactly what the kiss was. He may have issues with food and scents, eggs in particular stank, but his husband had gone to too much effort not to at least try his creation. That Keith was willing to learn was more than effort. He really didn’t deserve his husband. He needed to try harder for Keith. He didn’t know how try harder. Everything hurt from being pregnant. For movements now the strongest desire he’d held was for sleep. Sleeping with Keith didn’t come easy initially. His husband’s snoring would jolt him awake, or he wouldn’t be able to close his eyes out of fear of it being a hallucination. The only way he could try harder for his husband right now, was to swallow his fear as far down as he could, then stomp on it some more. He held the advantage here. He knew the cabin. This was basically his second home. Krolia would be leaving tomorrow, unless she spent the full day with Keith on his birthday which he couldn’t exactly say no to... No. Nope. No. He was an adult. His wrist didn’t actually hurt. She wasn’t holding him in that bruising grip, and there was no way that Keith would allow it. Coming back to him after rinsing the plate off, Keith took his hand, supporting Lance as he forced himself up. With the love of his husband, and Curtis not treating him like a freak, he felt more hopeful about the pregnancy, rather than going along or arguing himself out of hurting himself for their sake. As they continued to grow, he felt worse about getting high. But when it’d been his crutch for so long, and he was so desperate to be seen as normal, he really should have cut himself a break. It was just... it was just so hard to hold love for himself.

Settling down on the sofa, Kosmo decided that he needed to climb up on Lance’s legs, attempting to fit into the sliver of space between his calves and the sofa back. Keith went to scold the space wolf, where Lance went to pat him. He couldn’t sleep without the heavy weight of something pressed against him. He’d slept next to Curtis a few times, not in a sexual way or anything, more in a “I need to feel someone human against me so I don’t think the world outside my bedroom and ended” kind of way. There’d also been a few times when he was so sick that Curtis kept him on schedule of medication and fluid intake. He appreciated the times that Curtis made space for him, but if he couldn’t have Keith than he preferred Kosmo. Laying himself down, Kosmo placed paws on Lance’s hip, head nestled between as he stared up at him. Why couldn’t dealing with Krolia be as simple as it was when it came to Kosmo?

“How was your nap?”  
A simple question shouldn’t have made his chest feel so tight. Krolia was every bit the proud mother as she burped Korra over her shoulder. Her words shouldn’t feel like a tiny rain of spiked barbs landing around him and trapping him with no idea where was safe to step. They’d bonded. They’d talked. They’d spent vargas together. Under the blanket his right hand went to his left wrist, starting to scratch at the soft skin on the inside  
“It was good. I’m sorry I was so tired”  
“Keith said you had a long walk in the forest”  
That was for his husband’s sake. The sex part hadn’t been planned... Taking two deep breaths, Lance nodded as he replied  
“We did. We took a break to talk. The forest is nice”  
“That’s good. That you’re talking. Do you go for many walks?”  
Lance felt a vague sense of déjà vu. He had to have talked to Krolia earlier, yet the particulars of the conversation were starting to slip away as he tried to reclaim them. Had Krolia asked about the walk thing? Why couldn’t he remember?  
“Mainly in the cabin or around. A few times out in the woods. Curtis has an exercise plan he likes to try and keep us on”  
Krolia swapped Korra to her other shoulder, nuzzling and kissing her chubby little cheek  
“Staying active is important. Keeping your muscles loose will help with the birth”  
“I’m having a caesarean”  
“That’s right. Miriam mentioned that the other day. She wanted to come visit, but wasn’t sure of the terrain. She sends her love to both of you”  
That piece of him craving his mother felt crushed. Calls were hard. He preferred messaging, while his mother preferred calling. He couldn’t go home like this... not to Luis, Lisa and Rachel... He wanted his Mami, and his papi. Even if it was his papi pottering around the farm, he wanted to see him. Quiznak. He was getting teary. Grabbing his right arm, Keith pulled his hand away from his left wrist, then slid his hand down to hold his  
“Babe?”  
“I’m ok. I was thinking how nice it’d be to see Mami. But I know when I go to hospital she’ll be there”  
“Yeah, babe. We can call her tomorrow”  
“She’ll probably call us. Your birthday’s marked on the family calendar”  
“She said she’s got a present for you when she sees you next. Shiro also sends his regards. He can’t get time off at the moment, but I expect he’ll also call”  
Lance blinked, trying to clear his eyes. Catching him in the act, Keith wiped at his tears   
“He doesn’t have to call. I mean, we can’t exactly get into a whole lot of trouble here. He doesn’t need to check up on me”

Kissing his temple, Keith was being way too kind to him. Krolia was Keith’s mother. They couldn’t have this distance between them, because it wasn’t fair on Keith. They already weren’t having a huge celebration, nor were they going out to dinner for Keith’s birthday. He and Curtis both had gifts for Keith, as did the twins and Kosmo. Then there was the cake and Keith’s choice in what they watched on TV. Pidge and Hunk would probably call... and that was about all the excitement that’d happen. He wanted more for his husband’s birthday, his own still stung a little each time he thought of it. They’d recovered towards the end of the night, but until then, it’d been as awful as his mind had told him it would be. He didn’t want that for Keith. Wanted his husband to have every bit the happy day he deserved.

“You know, Shiro. He loves you. I’m sure Curtis keeps him up to date, but it’s not the same as talking on a video call, or in person”  
Curtis checked in with Shiro nightly. He messaged him during the day, then they’d talk at night. Sometimes, before Keith came to stay, Curtis would cuddle up to him and they’d both talk to Shiro. Lance knew how much Curtis missed Shiro, it was like how he’d missed Keith, only not the same because Shiro was still conscious and the only reason they couldn’t be together was him. Even on the nights Lance wanted to cry his eyes out, Curtis would bring his comms into Lance’s room, letting him simply listen to the pair of them talking until he fell asleep  
“I’m fine. I mean we’re fine. We have adult supervision, don’t we, babe?”  
Lance didn’t want to be dragged into this.  
“Mmm. Not sure if Curtis is an adult though. I’ve seen him eat cereal for dinner, in his pyjamas”  
Krolia cleared her throat, the noise causing him to flinch. He had to get a grip. Keith was watching him too closely. Almost as if he was waiting for a reason to kick his mother out. Getting out of bed had been such a bad idea   
“That’s understandable. Caring for people can be quite draining, even in such a tranquil setting”  
“Mum!”

Keith sounded angry, Lance tensing beside him. This wasn’t what he wanted...  
“I’m saying that when caring for someone, sometimes emotions run while mood runs low. There were times when you were young that I did the same thing”  
“You didn’t have to say it the way you did”  
Lance closed his eyes. Panic was spreading through his mind like tendrils of an invasive vine  
“I wasn’t intending to imply anything. I simply meant sometimes we all have days like that, adult or not”  
Krolia wasn’t taking a stab at him. He didn’t have to be stupid over it  
“We talked about this”  
“I was attempting to make conversation...”  
“You’re...”

“I think that’s enough from both of you”  
Using a tone he’d heard a hundred times from his Mami, Curtis brought the budding argument to a stop. Breathing was getting harder, his stomach rolling ominously. No. He wasn’t going to do this right here and now. He wasn’t going to make a bigger scene. It was Krolia. It was Korlia. He needed to focus on his breathing and forget the other things until he had it back under control. In through the nose, out through the mouth  
“That’s it, babe. That’s it. Keep breathing”  
“I know how to breathe!”  
Snapping at his husband only served to make him feel shitty. Detangling himself, he missed the contact of Keith’s anchoring form as he pushed himself up to sit properly, Kosmo evicted to sulk off  
“Ok. Ok... It’s ok...”  
“It’s not ok!”  
Quiznak. Why? Why was he snapping? He’d been so good. He’d told himself he could do this... he was trying... shit... he could hear himself crying now. When had he lost his rhythm? A panicked whine escaped, followed by a harsh sob. He was showing Krolia an even uglier side of him   
“Babe, it’s ok”  
“It’s not!”  
“Whatever it is, it’s ok”  
Ignoring the way he’d tried to sit up, Keith wrapped his arms around his upper chest, his husband’s chin digging in slightly as he rubbed his arm. Clutching Keith’s arm with both hands, he hid himself against Keith’s shoulder   
“It’s not... it’s not... I don’t want you fighting with her... she’s your mum...”  
“We’re not fighting, babe. We’re not... it’s ok. You’re ok. You’re ok... shhh. Shhh... we’re not fighting”  
“I’m sorry I left... I’m sorry... I don’t want to fight... I don’t want you to keep hating me. I just want Keith to be happy...”  
His mouth was running away on him. He was babbling as he continued to spiral. He wanted Keith and he wanted his Mami... but most of all, he wanted to be stronger than this  
“Babe, shhh... I’m happy here. We’re not fighting. Krolia doesn’t hate you. She was scared too. You know that. You told me... You know that, babe. Krolia felt bad about the fight too. She’s... not that great with apologies”  
Lance was certain that she hadn’t been going to. She shouldn’t have to. He was the nutcase, not her  
“It’s all my fault... I can’t do anything right. I don’t want to fight... I don’t want to fight, Mami”

*  
Rocking Lance against him, his husband’s heartbreak was in the air. Krolia was teary, Korra squirming against her shoulder, while Curtis was poised on the edge of his seat. Kissing his husband’s hair was the only comfort he could offer. Lance wasn’t listening. Actually, it was more like Lance wasn’t able to listen. Keith chest felt tight, he wanted to take Lance’s distress from him, however, he didn’t have the right words. He wasn’t able to pull Lance into lap. He couldn’t bury Lance’s face against the curve of his neck, holding him until he regained control of his breathing or passed out. He also wasn’t Miriam. He wasn’t sure what Lance was referring too when he “I don’t want to fight Mami”. Making up her mind, Krolia got to her feet, passing Korra to Curtis, his mother moved around the coffee table then crouching down in front of Lance, she placed her hand on his shoulder. Baring his teeth with a low growl, his mother shot him a scowl  
“Lance, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I don’t hate you. I simply don’t know how to get past the distance between us. I was, am, angered you left his side. For he wouldn’t have left yours. But I do support Keith and his decision. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have lost my temper with you that night”  
“Mum, he can’t understand you right now”  
“Then what do I do?”  
“You need to give him space. His nose is sensitive, and his anxiety is equating you with pain. He was rubbing at his wrist before”  
“That was movements ago”  
“You know PTSD doesn’t work like that. I told you he was scared... I haven’t seen him have an attack this bad in a long time”  
Lance wasn’t able to control his breathing, it’d be a mercy if his husband was to faint. Tilting her head slightly, his mother drew her brow  
“He’s saying something”  
Keith couldn’t tell. Lance was all sobs and pants as he tried to catch his breath around his tears  
“Can you make it out?”  
“Red? I think he’s saying “red””  
“Red is stop word. When his head is too busy or he can’t figure out what it is he wants to say. Alright, babe. You’re ok. Krolia’s going to take her hand off you now. You’re not in trouble. You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re safe. You’re safe, babe...”

Lance didn’t pass out, his husband fought his hardest to come back from his panic attack. Though it made it semi-awkward to hold him close, Curtis’s suggestion to let him sit up properly helped with Lance’s breathing. With a gentle smile and Korra cuddled up on his shoulder, Curtis had brought the roll of paper towels from the kitchen. Keith wiping Lance’s runny nose, as his husband trembled with exhaustion, catching Curtis’s eye, Keith tried to silently thank him, only Curtis cocked his head slightly and then decided to tell him that Lance’s attacks had pretty much been this bad before Keith had come to join them. Keith felt like quiznak to hear that. The stupid coma he’d been in had robbed Lance of his stability. Not that the tour had been all that stable, but there were times when he’d catch Lance laughing or smiling and Keith’d find himself falling in love with Lance all over again. No one ever warned you how hard being in love could be. How taxing it was when your lover suffered and you couldn’t kiss the pain away. Had Lance not been out of it from his attack, his husband would have been gushing over how natural Curtis looked with Korra on his shoulder. He was a natural, or perhaps had had practice somewhere along the line that Keith didn’t know about. It resolidified in his mind that Curtis and Shiro were truly the best choice to be the godparents of their boys. Curtis held far more patience for their antics than Shiro did... and far more patience for him than Adam. At the time Adam had been important to him simply because Shiro was his whole world. Now he evolving and seeing Adam as human being, understanding his family dynamic and able to process some of the decisions Adam had made through examination of Curtis. He’d truly been a snot-nose brat until Shiro took him, then Lance taught him the true meaning of love.

There was a good hour between Lance sitting up and his husband moving. Mumbling “bathroom”, Keith supported him there and back. His husband then sitting on the very edge of the sofa, rubbing his gravid belly in an almost absentminded way. Not wanting it to be awkward, none of them had spoken much, the TV playing softly in the background as they all focused on all. With a hard sniffle, Lance cast his gaze to Krolia   
“Do you really not hate me?”  
His husband’s bottom lip trembled, Lance looking like a wreck in all the worst ways. His cheeks were flushed, but complexion otherwise drained. His eyes were so red and swollen they were barely open, he’d chewed into his lip at some point leaving a small smear blood from where Keith had wiped his nose   
“No, Lance. I don’t hate you”  
“I’m sorry... I tried to be so good for all you, but I couldn’t be what you all wanted”  
“We thought you were doing well, then you suddenly decided to leave”  
“None of you would tell me anything! Only Kolivan told me! I didn’t know about my babies. I didn’t know anything technical about Keith’s condition. Everyone told me to rest when I asked... I just wanted to know... you were all scared... but I wanted to know... I can’t cope not knowing...”  
“Why didn’t you tell us?”  
“Because it’s my fault Keith was in a coma... I begged him not to leave me... if he’d gone after Shiro sooner... it never would have happened”

Krolia softened immediately, his mother looked as if she’d been doused in understanding, while Keith was biting the inside of his cheek. Lance was venting, he obviously needed it, with his input likely to silence his husband   
“Keith chose to protect you when the wall exploded. He made that choice. He couldn’t predict the wall would explode outwards and both of you would be sent sliding across the terrace”  
“But... if I hadn’t held him back... if I hadn’t been in so much pain... if I hadn’t been so scared...”  
“You fell. You were bleeding internally and would have lost your twins if you hadn’t been placed into a pod within the varga. You did not control Keith’s actions. He was going to find Shiro as he was the most mobile of our group. You conducted yourself well after your initial desire to shoot Krystaal”  
Lance shook his head, sometimes his husband had far too much fight for his heart   
“But I did it wrong... I made you all mad... you held my wrist so hard it bruised... I love him...”  
“I’m sorry. I was angry that you’d leave him. You’d been so calm, then I found you’d taken my comms and was fleeing. I didn’t think you’d betray my trust like that”  
His mother was an idiot if she didn’t think Lance was that resourceful. They should all fear how resourceful Lance could be  
“I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen to me. You thought I wanted Krystaal... I just wanted someone to be honest with me about Keith’s babies... I just wanted to be okay...”

Lance was getting far too worked up again, Keith nuzzling into the spot just below Lance’s ear  
“I think that’s enough for now, babe. Mum doesn’t hate you. We don’t hate you... no one hates you, baby. Here, come on, let’s lay down”  
At a guess it was late afternoon, Lance had lunch roughly around 3. With how badly his attacks affected him, his husband would most likely sleep through until 8 to 9  
“I don’t want... want to be... I want to talk to Mami...”  
Oh... oh... oh. Lance wanted his mother. “Mami” had had nothing to do with Krolia. He wanted Miriam. He wanted that maternal love. The love Keith and Korra were getting from Krolia   
“We can do that. We can call Mami”  
“We can?”  
“Of course. Come on, babe. Let’s get settled in our bed and we’ll call Mami together?”  
“Ok... I’m... sorry”  
“Shhh, it’s alright. It’s ok, babe. You don’t need to be sorry”

Curtis followed them down the hall, calling to Krolia that he was moving her bag to his room. Making the side trip to the bathroom, keith got Lance settled in their bed, his husband half laying on him, stomach across his with his face half buried against Keith’s chest. Keith could feel their sons kicking up a storm, their constant movement a soothing contrast to Lance’s sour scent. Calling Miriam, he didn’t get through until his second call, his mother-in-law smiling brightly at the pair of them  
“Keith! Mijo...! Oh, is that Lance? Hola. mi mijo”  
“Hola, Mami”  
Miriam raised an eyebrow at Lance’s soft mumble  
“Hey, Mami. Sorry for randomly calling”  
“No worries, my love. How are you both? How’s things at the cabin?”  
“Things are good here. Krolia arrived today with Korra. Lance wanted to talk to you. He’s had a bit of a bad day. We didn’t know Krolia was coming”  
“Ah. Yes. I see. Krolia did mention she was going to visit you. I was hoping she and Lance would have talked...”  
Nuzzling into him, Lance didn’t bother telling him not to tell her   
“He has a big morning, we went for a walk in the woods not expecting to come home to her. His nerves were too much. He got to thinking Krolia hated him. Mum didn’t exactly make it easy for him”  
Miriam’s expression clouded, Miriam then sighing before brightening. Lance was so much like his mother that it was laughable   
“I’ll be having a word with her about that. She knows how emotional pregnancy is. How is he now? How are my twins? How are you? How’s your recovery going?”  
“We’re in bed, relaxing. He’s had a nap today, so aiming for a second one now. The twins are... they’re so amazing, Mami. You can see them moving, and they’ve been kicking up a storm. We’re both going good. Curtis makes us do all these stu... all these exercises for strength and balance”  
“And if I was to ask Curtis, what would he tell me?”  
“That we’ve been behaving. How’s things on the farm?”  
“Oh, Keith. You know what Jorge is like. Yesterday he decided he didn’t have the right lighting in the barn. He thought he could get away with bringing the petrol filter from the tractor... “

Miriam glanced back over her shoulder at something offscreen, Keith turning his attention to Lance who’s eyes had drifted closed, his lips parted slightly as he let out a soft warm breath. His husband hadn’t had a chance to speak to his mother. He really should call back when Lance was awake again  
“...Ah! Rachel’s home! Rachel! Come say hello to your brothers!”  
Rachel yelled out something, then appeared in the corner of the screen  
“Hi, Keith. Hi, Lance. Mami, he’s not even awake. Bye, Keith”  
Keith blinked as Rachel disappeared again, Miriam’s eyes focused on what would be the bottom corner of the screen for her  
“Oh, he is asleep...”  
“Yeah, I’m sorry. He seemed like he really needed to talk to you. He’s had a big day”  
“You know what he’s like. I’m sure he’s been stressing too. You remember how he was at Christmas, stressing over everything being perfect. Krolia had planned as a surprise, but she invited a few of your friends for your birthday. Maybe you should warn him? I’m sure he’s already made plans with Curtis, Krolia wouldn’t know if he did...”  
“Do you know who she’s invited?”  
“Coran. Hunk, Shay, Pidge. Your team”  
Fuck... Whatever Lance had planned would be ruined   
“Thanks, Mami. I really don’t think he’s up to anything too big. Personally I was hoping for something small”  
“Now, now. This time next year you’ll be the father of two little boys. Relax and enjoy yourself while you’re still young”  
“Lance is the one doing all the hard work here. You should see him, Mami. He can’t possibly be comfortable”  
“My poor baby boy. Do you have a due date? He is going to have a cesarean, correct?”  
“We don’t yet. We have some time left, but... we touched on names today. He’s... he’s so strong. Today’s the first real bad day he’s had since I arrived”  
“I’m relieved he has you there. Marco was worrying himself sick wanting to help him. He said all Lance wanted was to work or to spend time with him, then he shut down. Wouldn’t eat, wasn’t sleeping well... I didn’t want to upset him. I asked him to come home. He’s so stubborn...”  
“He wasn’t... oh. Curtis didn’t tell you? He had oral thrust apparently it was pretty bad. He’s doing better. Eating more, sleeping well, other than the bathroom trips”  
“I remember those too well. I’ll let you go, and I’ll talk to you both tomorrow for your birthday. Take care and stay safe, mijos. My love to both to you”  
Keith gave Miriam as smile as he nodded  
“You too. Hopefully he’ll be awake tomorrow”  
“Hopefully. Don’t force it if he isn’t. Say hello to Curtis too”  
“Will do”

Keith’s quiet day was slipping out the window before him. His birthday was the following day, but he wasn’t exactly sure he wanted the fuss now that he’d thought about it. He was on leave, resting and recuperating with his very, very pregnant husband. Their friends hadn’t seen how he’d grown. Lance would be on edge, feeling self conscious the whole time they were there. He didn’t want that. What could be more perfect than a day where he could up with his husband and just be... stupidly cuddly and in love? There was also the issue that on the other hand, Lance would have the buffer of their friends between him and Krolia. Krolia had done a pretty awful job at understanding, until she finally got it. Lance’s anxieties were what was causing the real issues. It wasn’t fair on his husband to be on edge. To be scared of his every move in the cabin, when the cabin had obviously helping with keeping his mind calm. Fuck. He needed parental advice from someone who wasn’t Krolia. It’d have to be Shiro.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay ya’ll here’s the deets. This chapter hit 13k and I was like I can’t drop a 13k chapter on you all. So it’s cut in two. The next chapter doesn’t have a real chapter to feel to it because it’s the second half of this one.
> 
> I’m sorry!

The world outside their bedroom was dark when Lance woke. Shuffling off to the bathroom, he returned to find Keith still snoring softly. He’d really fucked up. He’d let everything get too much for him, then broken down. Considering the bathroom light was the only one on in the cabin, other than their bedside lamp, he’d missed decorating Keith’s cake too. He’d missed the whole afternoon. Climbing back into bed, he wriggled in an attempt to get comfortable as he lay facing his husband. Keith was so beautiful. His soft silky hair mussed by his pillow, drool dried in the corner of his mouth. He wished he could hold him. Have Keith’s back up against his chest. His face buried against Keith’s nape, as his husband burrowed into his hold. He missed the way Keith would roll over in his hold, the sheer amount of affection in his eyes as he smiled up at him. He missed him. And showering. Quiznak, he missed showering where he could wash Keith’s hair. He missed watching the suds running down his husband’s toned back. The way Keith would melt as he massaged his scalp... He loved him so fucking much. Keith had lost muscle mass while in his coma, a tiny bit more fat sat on his stomach. If you hadn’t spent hours simply tracing Keith’s form with your eyes, you wouldn’t know. You also wouldn’t see the small hesitations Keith made now as he tried to figure out his own strength.

Keith’s eyelashes fluttered, a puffy sigh escaping his lips as his hand moved. Blinking half a dozen times rapidly, Keith scrunched his eyes tightly, then proceeded to wrap his arm around him as tried to get closer than Lance’s stomach allowed   
“Mmm, babe?”  
Reaching out, Lance brushed Keith’s fringe from his face. His husband was so handsome. Keith could have had his choice if anyone in the universe. Opening his eyes, Keith blinked those gorgeous purple eyes at him, Lance’s face was full of love   
“I’m here. You go back to sleep”  
“Nooo. Not until you tell me why you’re awake...”  
“I was watching you sleep. Thinkin’ ‘bout how pretty you are”  
Keith ducked his head, yawning through his nose as he slid his hand up to Lance’s hip  
“You’re the pretty one. Very pretty”  
“No, babe. You are. I love you”  
Keith frowned at him, his hand moving from Lance’s hip to his shoulder   
“What’s wrong? You don’t smell very happy”  
Lance hummed. The only thing unhappy about the situation was that he couldn’t cuddle his husband   
“I’m fine. Scouts honour”  
“Then why do you seem so sad?”  
He wasn’t so much sad as he was missing how things used to be  
“I’m not. I was thinking about how much I love you. I miss holding you”  
“That just means I get to hold you”  
“I know. I miss it though. I miss washing your hair and holding you when you wake up”  
“Babe...”  
Lance sniffled softly. There might have been times he wanted to shoot Keith in the foot, but he was so incredibly fortunate to have the man for his partner  
“You’re so beautiful, Keith... I love you so quiznakking much”  
“Hey, you’re the beautiful one. What’s going on here?”  
“I just... I love you and I’m so grateful. I don’t know how I could made it through any of this without you. I’m... I’m really... I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d want by my side for this”

Keith’s smile sent happiness flooding through his veins   
“You don’t need to look so sad. You’re my pride and joy, Lance. You’re my husband... and that... that makes me so fucking happy”  
Lance felt himself blush, wishing his stomach wasn’t in the way. He really wanted to kiss his husband. Keith’s pouty lips were so damn kissable. Trying to settle his racing heart, Keith whispered his slight nudge   
“Babe?”  
Lance swallowed, he wanted to kiss him. He really wanted to kiss him  
“I want to kiss you”  
“Then kiss me”  
He would if they weren’t in such an awkward position   
“You’ll have to come to me... because I can’t reach you”  
“Oh, babe... here, come here”

Rolling onto his back, Keith moved to kiss him. The kiss was deep, full of meaning. Lance’s eager to return it, to show his husband how important and irreplaceable he was. Between his legs grew wet, as the kiss morphed into a desperate need to feel some much more. To feel the heat of Keith’s skin, to watching his face as he fell apart. As the kiss broke, Lance let out a shaky breath   
“Wow”  
“Wow”  
Keith echoed his breathy statement, hair falling down to frame his face as nuzzled at Lance’s cheek. The sensation tickled his skin, the Cuban smiling as he tucked Keith’s hair back behind his ear  
“I want to have sex”  
Keith snorted softly  
“You do?”  
“I want my husband. I want to feel you... I feel like my heart’s going to explode if I don’t...”  
“We can’t have that”  
Why didn’t Keith get it? Why didn’t he acknowledge how strong he was? How wonderful he was... He wanted to forget the pain of Keith leaving that night. He wanted to wash away the pain he’d carved onto Keith’s heart  
“I’m serious, Keith. I’m so in love with you that I don’t know what to do anymore. You’re my everything. You’re my partner. My partner in crime. My accidental husband that was tricked into a union with me. You keep me sane and you pull me back from the edge like it’s as natural as breathing. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring myself back. I couldn’t fix me...”  
“You don’t need fixing. I love you. You’re allowed to have feelings. You’re allowed to have bad days”  
“But today’s your birthday. I want you to have the happiest birthday ever. You’re my world, Keith. My lover and my husband. I want to feel you... I want to spend this now having sex with the man I treasure. Happy Birthday, babe”

Slowly and sweetly Lance fell apart under Keith’s hands. His husband’s lips upon his body like a ravenous wolf upon a bone. His hands never seemed to stop moving, a kiss or touch, neither here nor there, but both “and” and “and not” at the same time as tried to catch the fleeting feelings of fingertips or lips only for it slip away before he could catch it. The unique sensations only Keith could strum to life stripped away his bullheadedness. Long caramel legs wide as he lay exposed, Keith teasing him to the point he felt he was going to crumble if his husband didn’t let him come. With a shallow thrust, he was drowning, gasping for air as his hands clenched the blanket beneath them. Rolling his hips slowly, the muscles in his legs undulated, body clenching around his husband, drawing him deeper into his sopping wet heat, only Keith... Keith knew how to play him. His thrusts kept shallow, he reduced him into a babbling mess, words of love slurred into words of need. Keith would oblige, thrusts hard and deep until his toes started too curl and all language lost form, then would edge off, remaining only ever so slightly buried inside, teasing him into this trembling sweaty mess. Reaching for his husband’s hand, Keith stared down at him with hooded eyes, his hand taking his as he slid from inside of him. Crying out in loss, Keith kissed his palm, nuzzling softly as if they weren’t lost in the heat of sex. Forming words with his kiss swollen lips, Lance couldn’t comprehend them. Their position changing as Keith moved from between his legs, an arm finding its way between his back and the blankets, Lance left dizzy as he went from being beneath his husband to straddling his lap in the space of a few moments. Now the one gazing down, Keith kissed his hand again, a hand on his hip the support offered as Lance rose to sink back down. Whimpering his husband’s name, Keith rolled up, the position finally giving him everything he needed. Trying to ride Keith, he could barely lift his body to find his rhythm, hand torn from Keith’s to balance himself as he rode his husband unashamedly. With curved back and bared throat, his vision mister red. Orgasm finally tearing through him as came in hard jolted bursts between them, cum dripping from the bottom of his swell, soaking his crutch and pooling on Keith’s stomach. Keith stretching him wide as he swelled inside, flooding him as his chanted his praises. He loved this man. He loved him... 

Legless and unable to stand, keith fetched a cloth to clean him down with. Wiping him clean, his husband pressed kisses to the places the cloth passed over. All Lance wanted was to cuddle with him now, but Keith was too good to him. His husband cleaned him down, helped him back into his sweats then to the bathroom. Hunched from the fire running through his back and legs, Keith sat him on the toilet, fetching paracetamol and heat pads for him. That had meant his husband had to wake Curtis to ask for the paracetamol. Measuring the dose, his husband apologised, Lance didn’t want apologies. He loved him. He loved being close to him. He didn’t regret having sex with him, the sex it’s self wasn’t the problem. It was sitting in his husband’s lap for as long as he did. Making sure he was comfortable, clean and heat padded in the right places, his husband supported him back to their room. Keith stripping off the top sheet then fussing him under the covers before spooning around him.

It was a nightmare free night for them. Lance waking after Keith. His husband’s hand against his belly as their twins slept. Wriggling against him, Keith kissed his shoulder. His husband’s dick was poking against his arse, Lance mentally snorting as how eager Keith was despite the night before  
“Good morning, sleeping beauty”  
“Mmm... morning... seems like I’m late to wake up”  
“Nah, you’re fine. How are you feeling?”  
“Happy”  
Placing his hand on Keith’s, Keith nuzzled into the spot he’d been kissing  
“Good. I was worried you’d be sore from last night”  
“‘m ok. Are you ok?”  
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I am”  
Sliding Keith’s hand down, his husband took the silent invitation, rutting up against his arse as they reached the band of his sweats   
“Babe?”  
“I want it... like this...”  
“You sure?”  
“Yes, birthday boy...”

Keith was slow and gentle. Aroused before he woke, neither of them lasted long. Laying in a tangle of limbs, and a very protruding stomach, their twins seemed to think it was time to make their presence known given their parents were awake. Handsy and cuddly, Keith was going a little crazy as he nuzzled and kissed him. Tickled by his husband’s fringe, Lance’s giggled  
“What’s so funny?”  
“If I told you, you wouldn’t show me mercy”  
“I might. It’s my birthday... I can be generous”  
“Your hair’s tickly”  
Leaning further over him, his husband’s hair draped across his face. Laughing, he shoved Keith back  
“What happened to being generous?!”  
“What did I do?”  
Playfully teasing him, Keith knew damn well what he did  
“You know what you did... It’s assault with a long dead mullet!”  
“That’s nice... it’s my birthday and you’re picking on me”  
“I will when you’re tickling me!”  
There was a pause before Keith poked his belly   
“Hey, babe...”  
“Yesss?”  
“I love you”  
“I love you, too. You’re such a dork”  
“Again, it’s my birthday. What happened to the Lance who was telling me how much he loved me?”  
“I slept it off...?”  
“And you’re really alright? Last night was... it was pretty full on. We haven’t done edging like that...”  
They hadn’t done edging that like since he’d turned into this... with an over active pair of watermelons in his stomach   
“Babe, you’re worrying too much... I don’t want you to worry. I don’t want you to feel bad for us enjoying... that... I love you”  
“I know you do. That’s why I don’t want you to feel like you can’t say no”  
“You have no idea what my libido is like... seriously, I could go again right now”  
“You wouldn’t be able to walk”  
“At least I wouldn’t be a horny wreck... seriously, please. I love you. I... I like... this. This... us. I didn’t think... I didn’t think I’d ever want something like this after what happened. But when I’m with you, I feel like I can do almost anything. I might have been a bit emotional last night, but I swear I’m ok”  
“A bit? You looked ready to cry before we started”  
“That’s because...!”  
Keith nipped at his shoulder, Lance knowing he’d have to explain, but it wasn’t always easy to find the words to explain emotions and feelings. Sometimes the right word simply didn’t exist  
“Because?”  
“Because... I love you. It hit me last night, all over again. All the support you give me. How alive you make me feel... how beautiful you are. I mean, like, neither of us are perfect, and this is probably the longest we’ve gone without fighting, but like... I couldn’t ask for a better husband and sometimes I feel like I can’t say that, even when I do... like... I mean... I just love you”

No one had ever called him “Eloquent” and meant it... He’d said “like” far too many times for his liking. He couldn’t help the rush of love or the rush of affection he felt when Keith would smile at him. That private little smile that seemed to say far more than his words could. Nuzzling into him, Keith sighed   
“You say it everyday, babe. Don’t forget that”  
“Sometimes I don’t...”  
“You don’t always have to do the actual say. The three of you make me so quiznakking proud”  
“Even with sweats half down and your dick up my arse?”  
“Yep. Especially with your sweats half down and my dick up your arse. It’s going down now”  
“I wasn’t sure that was a setting...”  
Keith slid back slightly before thrusting forward, the drag felt too damn good. Squeaking, Lance blushed. Kissing his below his ear, his husband was a shit  
“What was that?”  
If this kept up they’d never end up getting out of bed for the day. His husband had to detach and stop his “pervy octopus” ways  
“I have to pee”  
“Then I guess we’ll have to finish in the shower”

*  
Keith was a the happiest he could possibly be as they walked into the living area. Sitting on the kitchen counter were a small pile of wrapped gifts, Krolia stood in front of something blue she seemed quite proud of, with Korra on her shoulder. Curtis was at the oven, a small stack of pancakes on the plate to the left of him. Beside him, Lance came to a stop. Nudging him softly with his shoulder, his husband smiled at him  
“Sorry, hard kick. I’m ok. They’re super active now”  
Lance’s scent was tinged with sadness, his eyes misty  
“You sure?”  
“My ribs are being bashed. Let’s get you your birthday breakfast”  
“Ok. Do you want to cuddle on the sofa with me while we eat?”  
“Yeah. That sounds good”

Lance took the lead, leading him into the kitchen to stand by Curtis   
“You’ve gotten better. Minimal burning around the edges... and look at those bubbles!”  
Curtis rolled his eyes at him, Keith wrapping his arms around his husband as he rested his chin on Lance’s shoulder  
“You’re not funny. Yes, you can take what’s there. The butter’s already on the table. Happy Birthday, Keith”  
“Thanks, Curtis. Those look great”  
Curtis waved his egg-flip  
“At least someone appreciates my pancakes. Keith, you forgot to return my paracetamol last night. You’re forgiven because it’s your birthday, but next time can you try to remember please?”  
Keith’s “No problem...” overlapped Lance’s “Aw, babe. Everyone wants to pick on you today”. Curtis shook his head, he probably didn’t want to know  
“Take your pancakes and sit down already. I’ll bring more over when I’m done”  
“Thanks, Curtis. You’re the best”

Trying not to let Lance go as he shuffled along behind him, the slipped past Curtis and into range of Krolia. Grabbing his arm, they were both jolted back as his mother leaned in to kiss his cheek  
“Happy Birthday, Keith”  
“Thanks, mum. And thank you, Korra”  
His little sister’s eyes were open, staring at him as he kissed her forehead. She looked happy. Happy and chubby... and maybe a bit confused   
“We weren’t sure that you were getting out of bed today, were we Korra? Your big brother certainly kept us both waiting”  
“It’s my birthday, I’m allowed to sleep in”  
Krolia side-eyed him, then lifted Korra off her shoulder, nuzzling and kissing her chubby cheek she seemed so happy to have her. Keith felt a stab of jealousy. Happiness and jealousy...  
“Don’t you listen to your big brother. He wasn’t sleeping at all... but he did give us time to decorate his cake, didn’t he, baby girl. Luckily Curtis baked it yesterday. It gave us time this morning, yes it did my darling”

The blue thing he’d noticed on the counter turned out to be a dark blue frosted cake. His mother had whipped up some cream to pipe along the top, the bowl and bag sitting next to the cake. Keith’s brain ticked over. The previous days walk where they’d been allowed out for over an hour. Lance covering his moment of sadness with that little white lie he knew he was telling. Lance and Curtis had talked about his birthday. They’d planned the cake together. Seeing it assembled, Lance must have realised whatever he’d had planned was no longer possible. Having talked to Shiro the previous afternoon, Shiro has agreed that too many people face to face would most probably be bad for Lance’s mental health. Pidge was still making the trek to see them in person, bringing with her their presents to him and setting up the TV for a face call. Coran had wanted to come see them in person too, but understood that Lance might not be up for visitors. Shiro wasn’t completely sure if he was coming to visit or not, meaning it’d be a surprise for all of them to see what he decided to do. Miriam had been right, and having forgotten that his birthday was coming up, he’d also forgotten that Lance always wanted everything to be perfect for the people around him. In a way it was good that he’d forgotten or he would have been stressing over his husband’s mental state further the closer they got to today. Kissing Korea’s cheek, Krolia held her out to him. Letting go of his husband, Keith took Korra into his hold. His little sisters hand tightening around the bunched fabric of his shirt with her tiny fingers  
“I’ll be done in a couple of ticks. I must say, I’m quite proud. I know I didn’t bake it, but I haven’t turned it a complete mess yet. Curtis got photos of Korra helping. They’ll look great in the album Lance got for you”  
“Mum! It’s supposed to be a surprise”  
“Oops. I’m out of sync with your Earth customs. Last time I was doing this, you were just a small babe. Now eat your pancakes and relax”

Lance cut their pancakes for them. His husband feeding him bites as his sister slept on his shoulder. Keith wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about his mother making him a birthday cake. On Daibazaal it never would have happened. Here she was acting like it was the most natural thing in the world. Then there was Lance and Curtis to consider. He didn’t know if they’d planned to decorate his cake while they slept or if the three of them were going to attempt to decorate it together. Teleporting back from wherever he’d been, Kosmo’s whole body started wagging at the sight of pancakes. Sitting beside Lance, he whined until Lance finally looked at him, then used his biggest, widest, puppy-dog eyes on him. Sighing, Lance plucked the top pancake off the pile, rolling it up before passing it over to their fur son  
“I don’t know if you deserve it. You haven’t wished your father a happy birthday yet”  
Kosmo didn’t care. His tail only thumped harder as he got up to place both paws on Lance’s leg and nudge at his arm   
“These are for you father. You’re going to get fat”  
Yipping as if insulted, Kosmo turned his face away. Picking up the knife to tackle the next pancake, Kosmo broke his false huff lunged in under Lance’s arm, tonguing up the side of the stack as he closed his jaws around the edge and teleported over to munch down on his stolen treat in front of the unlit fireplace. Sighing, Lance threw the knife down on the plate. The clattering sound startling Korra who started to cry.  
Patting his sister’s back, Keith didn’t know what to do. Shooting a pleading look to Lance, his husband was quick to hold out his hands  
“You should be able to handle one crying baby, Keith”

Ignoring his mother, Keith passed Korra to Lance who took the little girl up in his arms. Placing her on his shoulder, he patted her back softly as he bounced her while hushing her softly. His husband melted his heart all over again. He wasn’t sure how to soothe his sister, yet Lance wasn’t shying away from her cries. Rubbing his cheek against her head, he kissed her beanie as she continued to cry, though not as loud as it had been  
“That’s a good girl. Yes, it is. I know. That big bad knife scared you, baby girl. Yes, it did. Don’t worry, that knife isn’t going to scare you anymore... shhh... there’s a good girl... I know... I know. It’s your big brother’s birthday today. You can’t even talk yet and you sound just like him. All bark and no bite... you’re probably exhausted my little princess. It’s barely breakfast and you’ve had to serenade us, as well as be completely adorable”  
Calming Korra down, she drifted off to sleep on Lance’s shoulder. Keith simply staring at the pair of them, wondering if Lance knew what he was doing to his heart. He was so good with children. He didn’t get angry or annoyed with her, instead he was all gentle smiles and love with his little sister. Catching him staring, his husband scrunched his brow  
“What?”  
“You look good like that”  
“Holding Korra? She’s doing all the hard work when it comes to looking good, but you make it look so easy baby girl. What your brother doesn’t know is that having a baby in the house involves a lot more screaming than one short song. When you have a baby you can’t return them to their parents because you are their parents”  
“You’re still better at this than me”  
“Keith, babe. You saw the size of my family at Christmas. If you’re not good with babies, then you’re screwed because there’s always some kid around”  
Keith felt a momentary stab of pain. Yeah. He’d seen Lance’s dozens of relatives... and while he’d in care he’d come across a small child or two, but he didn’t know how to “Dad”... Reaching out, Lance placed his hand on his knee  
“You’ll get there. You got me through withdrawal. You got me through peopling. You got me through losing Allura and losing everything else. You’ll get through being a dad, because we’re a team, right?”  
There was a huge difference between a screaming Lance and a screaming baby. Smiling sincerely at him, Keith wasn’t able to stop himself as he surged forward to steal a kiss  
“I fucking love you”  
Lance snorted, both of them casting a quick glance to Krolia who seemed lost in the world of cream piping, then back to each other. Lance ducking his head slightly  
“I love you, too. Do you want to take her back? I need to change”  
Why did Lance need to change? His husband was better dressed than he was  
“Are you...?”  
Lance gave him a sigh, careful to lift Korra off his shoulder and settle her down on Keith’s  
“I’m leaking. I didn’t think to put nursing pads in my bra”  
Sliding his chair back, Keith got a good look at Lance’s wet chest. Arousal rushed to pool in his belly, his husband detecting the change in his scent  
“And this is why we can’t have nice things. I’ll be right back”

Lance coming back drew out to 20 minutes where his husband hadn’t returned. Enough time had passed for Curtis to be bringing more pancakes over to the table  
“I’ll take her, you go check on him”  
He hadn’t needed to say anything, they both were worried over Lance not coming right back. Not confident in passing Korra, Curtis took her off his shoulder, Keith giving him a nod before heading off to find Lance. Finding Lance wasn’t all that hard. Their bedroom door was open, and sticking his head in he found Lance sitting on their bed, staring down at a small blue onesie that had been part of the pair gifted by Lance’s grandmother   
“Everything ok, babe?”  
“Yeah. It fell out when I went to grab my pads out. I was thinking about how small babies are”

Walking over to their bed, Keith sat himself down next to his husband. Resting his head on his shoulder, the onesie seemed tiny   
“Do they come that small?”  
Lance snorted  
“Yeah, babe. What happened to Korra?”  
“Curtis is having cuddles. You’ve been gone a little while”  
“Had to clean up, then I had to pee, then I to grab my nursing pads out and change my shirt... it’s so much effort”  
Keith laughed softly, as long as Lance was alright that was the main thing   
“You’ve gotten so lazy”  
“I’ve gotten huge. I’m nearly out of clothes you know. If I get any bigger this stomach isn’t going to fit my shirts”  
“I don’t mind you being shirtless”  
“In front of Curtis?”  
“Maybe not”  
“I had the feeling you’d say that... I prefer wearing shirts, especially now”  
“Bad body day?”  
Lance nodded  
“It’s harder to have a good one. Sorry, it’s your birthday...”  
Nope. He wasn’t having Lance beating himself over this   
“It’s fine. I want to understand. Did you and Curtis plan that cake for me?”  
Lance started folding up the onesie so the small lamb on left breast of the tiny garment was upright   
“You really notice everything, don’t you?”  
“If mum...”  
“Your mum wanted to. I kind of figured that it’d happen with how long I slept for last night... We were going to surprise you in the morning. But it’s fine, she’s your mum and Korra helped too. It’s a nice memory”  
“You’re not sad?”  
“A bit, but today is about you. I want you to have a really good birthday. I mean, it’s better than last years...”  
“Yeah, well, no ones trying to kill us now. Plus, we’re going to be dads soon...”  
Trying to inject enthusiasm in his tone failed when Lance turned to him, his husband placing the onesie in his lap  
“You are going to be an amazing father. I know you’re scared, I’m scared too. I’m terrified something will go wrong at the last moment. That I’m going to drop a baby. Or that I’m just going... that I’m not going to be able to cope after giving birth. But you. I know you’re going to smash it out of the park. Because everything you put your heart and soul into doing, you always smash it out. You’ve always been a fighter, babe. You’ve got this”  
“Do I?”  
“You do. It’s like when you became Black Paladin. You didn’t think you could do it, but I did. Until Blade work got in the way...”  
Hadn’t Lance given him enough shit for it at the time?  
“I remember missing a certain Razzle-Dazzle routine...”  
“And I remember missing my only friend... I’m going to get depressed if we keep talking about it. My point is, you’re stronger than you let yourself believe. I love you. They’re going to love you”  
Cutting himself off to take a breath, Lance pushed that smile he disliked to his lips. Keith letting him get away with it simply because his husband realised he’d stepped on one of his own triggers so had promptly tried to move past it before he became stuck on it. Lifting the onesie, Keith traced over the embroidered sheep with his thumb  
“I’m scared of how small they’re going to be”  
“Me too... I hope they look like you”  
“No. I hope they look like you”  
“Are you kidding me? You’re the whole package. With your stupidly perfect hair and those eyes... I can’t say no to those eyes. Plus, you’ve got a nicer nose than I do”  
“What’s wrong with your nose?”  
“I like yours better?”  
“I think you’re cuter”  
Lance rolled his eyes at him  
“We’re going to get stuck here with you not admitting you’re gorgeous as you call me beautiful, and then, before we know it, your birthday is going to be over. Come on, Daddy Keith...”  
Plucking the onesie from his hand, Lance sat it down in the bedside table. Keith taking his hand as he stood  
“Alright, Daddy Lance. You’re still beautiful”  
“You’re an idiot. A soppy loved up idiot”  
“Mhmm... your idiot though”  
“Yep. And I’ll shoot anyone who says otherwise in the foot”  
“Babe, you can’t shoot everyone you don’t like”  
“We’ll have to agree to disagree”  
Keith knew he shouldn’t encourage Lance when it came to shooting people. His husband may act like he had no problem with it, especially with the number of people he’d killed, but he knew that the weight of what he’d done weighed on him heavily. If Lance did shoot someone else, then part of him would break beyond repair... Still, it was nice to know his husband was as possessive of him as he was of Lance. Lance loving and wanting him was the best present he could ever ask for.

“There you two are. We thought you might have gone back to bed!”

In their short absence Krolia had finished decorating the cake. The pile of pancakes were half gone. A broke plate lay on the floor, and Kosmo was nowhere to be seen. Having moved his presents to the kitchen table, Keith supposed it was a subtle hint to open them. Trying to pull Lance into his lap, his husband smacked his grabby hands away  
“Nope. You need to unwrap your presents, not me”  
“Can’t I do both?”  
Lance pouted, hands on his as he stared down at him  
“Aren’t you two worn out from last night and this morning?”  
Lance immediately blushed deep red, trapping his bottom lip in his teeth in embarrassment. Keith shot his mother a glare that Krolia shrugged off. Curtis hadn’t told them that they were being too loud... so why must he suffer the embarrassment of his mother doing so  
“Muuuum. Not cool”  
“You were up quite late...”  
Pointing at her with his right pointer finger, he grabbed Lance’s hand with his left hand. His threat deadly serious  
“If you say one more thing about our sex life, I’ll be taking my presents and my husband, and we’ll be spending my birthday in our bedroom”  
“Relax, I’m only teasing you both”  
“It’s ok, Keith. Open your presents. Krolia already told you mine, so save that one for last”  
He’d wanted to open his husband’s first, purely because it was from his husband. He was annoyed his mother had ruined the surprise, but he’d be lying if it hadn’t spiked his curiosity over what could possibly be in the album. Having all this attention on him wasn’t unpleasant, yet it also wasn’t all that pleasant. He didn’t know what facial expression he was supposed to make, or what he was supposed to say  
“Fine, move your chair and sit next to me”  
“You’re such a big baby”  
“Yep. Now sit down next to me”  
“Only because it’s your birthday, and I’m feeling generous”  
Keith laughed lightly at the way Lance threw his words back at him  
“Oh, merciful husband of mine, won’t you sit beside me”  
Wrinkling his nose, Lance poked out his tongue  
“Too far. You ruined it. Scooch over so I can fit?”  
“Deal”

From Curtis he received a mug. Curtis looked slightly apologetic, but it did have Red on it, so it was instantly elevated above a normal mug. He’d also brought him a new black leather jacket with red trimming on the inside pocket. The choice screamed Lance more than Curtis’s shopping style. Lance had probably been going to gift it to him, then told Curtis to do so. Curtis didn’t know his sense of taste with clothing... which was pretty much “if it was clean and it fitted, it’d do”. His mother had a new Luxite blade for him, three colours woven into the design. Purple for Krolia, pink for Korra, and aqua for Kolivan, to remind him of his family on Daibazaal. Korra had gifted him what looked like a Kosmo plushy, and a “best big brother shirt”. Krolia insisted that he wear the shirt, while holding his sister on his shoulder and his new blade in his hand so she could send a picture to Kolivan. Keith was already in position before he thought to object to being bossed around. Lance found it all funny, his objections died in his throat as the sight of his husband’s smile.

Knowing he was biased, his best presents came from his boys and his husband... and Curtis. Confined to the cabin, Keith had no idea when Lance and Curtis had had time to plan their presents... even when the third one taking Lance by surprise. Sliding what he knew to the album from Lance towards him, when he’d picked the present up, there’d been a second beneath it with Curtis’s neat handwriting across the tag. Drawing his brow, Curtis laughed at his facial expression   
“It’s for both of you. It’s also from Shiro. I may have also added to your present Lance...”  
Lance leaned past him to reply to Curtis   
“Should we be worried?”  
“Not really. You don’t have to open it right now, if you don’t want to”  
“Is it dirty? Or wrestling related?”  
“Lance, not everything I touch is wrestling related”  
“No... sometimes you touch Shiro”  
Curtis spluttered, the poor man covering his face with his both hands as he leaned heavily on the table  
“Babe, I think you broke him”  
“I think I broke him too. Open it already, I want to know what’s inside”  
“I want to open yours first”  
“Spoil sport”

From Lance it was a beautiful album, a little clumsy where he’d decorated the from by hand in diamanté’s spelling out “Our Twins”. Inside was photos of Lance at various stages of his pregnancy. His baby bump as it grew, as well as the ultrasound photos, and a small pocket for the drive containing the videos. Flicking through, he could tell the last few photos were taken by Curtis. There were photos of Lance’s growing bump, Lance napping, Lance sleeping with his belly showing, and naturally photos of Kosmo and Lance. Some were of the pair of them both sleeping, some where of Kosmo resting with his head on Lance’s swollen stomach as Lance rubbed the spot between his ears. In one he had his paws on the bump with his tongue lolling out as he gazed up at Lance  
“I hope you don’t mind. I know you weren’t in the mood for photos when I picked you up. Some of them came from Marco, that lifted off the security feed in the outpost. Most of the selfies I lifted from your comms when you were sleeping after you told me you wanted to make Keith an album. In the album I’m gifting you, it’s got photos from the tour. So it’s not just of you. Shiro helped by providing the coordinates to match where they were taken. Miriam also sent through copies of photos from Christmas”

Unlike his husband, he wasn’t quite so quick to cry, but he felt incredibly overwhelmed seeing Lance’s pregnancy progression carefully displayed with love and care. They’d received so much support from their friends. Keith had no way of ever paying them back for what they’d done for them. Pulled into a tight hug by his husband, Keith buried his face against Lance’s neck. On the night of the explosion, he could have lost all of this and he’d never have seen his boys born. He’d never been able to hold Lance again. See him smile or laugh. He never wanted to be in a situation like that again. He didn’t want his husband worrying that he’d never come home. That he’d widow him with two young boys to raise. He wouldn’t be going on another mission. Not when he had the future with Lance that he’d always wanted right in front of him. He didn’t know what he’d do as he transitioned, only that it’d be something low key and something that wouldn’t take him from his husband’s side. He wanted to give Lance everything he could  
“Keith?”  
“Let’s do it... let’s get married again... When we’re here, back on Earth with them... I want to do it. I want everyone to see you...”  
“Babe, we don’t have to get married again. I’m happy with you. I liked our first marriage”  
“I’m happy with you too... but we can... with everyone. With Mami and Jorge... and all your family... That big white wedding you always wanted. It might take a while, but I want it. I want you”  
“You’re an idiot. You’ve already got me”  
“I love you... I love them...”  
“I know you do. I know, babe. You ready to open your presents from our boys?”  
“I want to stay like this a little longer”  
“Ok, whatever you need. I’ve got you”

From his boys he was gifted cheesy gifts that were so Lance. A tiny shirt that said “I asked my dad, but he told me to ask my father”, another saying “stuck in an infinite loop of dad jokes”. Lance had also found him a pretty blade made of metal he couldn’t recognise, tilting it small dots appeared. He wasn’t exactly a rocket scientist in intelligence, so didn’t realise the whole blade was decorated with small galaxies and stars. Curtis was quick to scold him as all weapons were supposed to be kept in a safe, where as Lance had to have had that in his possession since his arrival. His husband shrugged it off, entirely unapologetic for his gift. It seemed to Keith that most of the weaponry he had been collecting now came from his husband rather his own desire to seek it out. Lance paid ridiculously close attention to everything he said. He’d mentioned liking a pendant he’d seen at a market stall on one of the planets they’d toured. Sure enough, it was carefully and loving wrapped in the small pile, though now from their boys instead of his husband. It was thoughtful and completely Lance’s style to spoil him, despite his husband being the one who deserved to be spoilt rotten. His boys had also gifted him games for his hand held, with a little note reminding him of the sleepless nights to come. 

By the time he finally finished opening everything, it was already pushing lunch time. Cleaning up the table, they were shooed to the sofa where Keith was finally allowed to have his husband in his lap... kind of. Lance wasn’t feeling comfortable with his stomach, so the concession was his husband laying with his feet in his lap while Keith thumbed through the album from Curtis. He kind of felt a little stalked as he looked at the candid photos of him Lance. Their smiles private, only for each other as they danced, not that he remembered dancing, but obviously it had. With the pressure bearing down on them to appear perfect, he really had forgotten some of the best moments of the tour. Like Lance sneezing and scaring the group of aliens near them. His face was all wrinkled up in the photos while the aliens looked ready to run. Them eating some weird alien ice cream that wasn’t really ice cream but Lance had begged him to let him try it. Lance in those sheer robes they’d been gifted, hands on his stomach with a slight blush on his face as he realised Keith was staring at him. Then there were the Christmas photos. Lance dressed up, helping hand out presents. His husband in his lap for a not so child-friendly kiss. Him receiving his present. Lance kissing his cheek while Keith blushed. Nadia and Sylvio hanging off the pair of them. Shiro having his hand swatted at by Curtis as he attempted to grab another cookie. Keith meeting Lance’s grandparents. 

“Anything interesting in there?”  
Tapping his feet together, Lance was bored and attempting to get his attention  
“A few things...”  
“It’s not fair. My stomach’s in the way”  
Lance was attempting to peer over his stomach, the position couldn’t possible be comfortable  
“You’re going to hurt your back like that”  
“Joke’s on you, it already hurts”  
Closing the album, Keith balanced it on the arm of the chair. Lifting Lance’s legs off him, he grabbed his husband’s hand, pulling him to sit. Blinking, his husband paled, blood dribbling slowly from his nose  
“Quiznak... hang on”  
Climbing to his feet, Keith jogged over time the kitchen, watching his husband over his shoulder in case Lance collapsed  
“Got up too fast...”  
“Hold still. Your nose is bleeding”  
Lance hadn’t seemed to notice until his fingertips brushed under his nose, his mouth forming a small “o”. Retrieving a handful of paper towel from kitchen, he was halfway back when there was knock on the cabin door. Whoever it was could wait until Curtis opened the door. Crouching down in front of Lance, Keith held the paper towel up to his husband’s nose, Lance taking over so his whole face wasn’t hidden behind the wad  
“I’m fine. You don’t have to look at me like that”  
“Like what?”  
“Like it’s something more than a bit off dizziness and a blood nose”  
“You’re really pale, babe. I don’t want you to have a seizure...”  
“Keith, I’m not about to have a seizure. I’ve got that thing in the back of my head for those”  
Lance didn’t... he didn’t seem well. Not simply dizzy from moving too fast. He was pale and sweaty, each time he started to slump a fraction he’d jolt back upright   
“I’m still allowed to worry”  
“Nope... Oh! Hey, Pigeon! C-Coran!? What are you doing here?!”

“I’ll “pigeon” all over your arse! What do you think we were doing here?! Someone had to celebrate this loser’s birthday! Don’t tell me you two are being gross already?”  
Keith’s instincts told him to protect Lance from their “intruders”. His husband bopping him on the head as he growled. Pidge didn’t care about his growl, her arms filled by a giant wrapped box. Carrying it over she placed it down on the coffee table, kicking him lightly on the arse as he did  
“Happy Birthday. This is from Hunk and Shay. My arms are dead, thanks for the help Curtis! You’ve had plenty of time to move your cabin closer to the camping area!”  
Curtis gave a deep laugh  
“Don’t be like that, Katie. I saw the hover trolley. I know you didn’t have to carry that box the whole way”  
Pidge hissed at the use of her actual name, Keith saw her start to flip Curtis off before putting on the face an angel, all smiley on the lips and all schemey in the eyes. Keith was sure she’d have her revenge before she left  
“That doesn’t mean that box wasn’t heavy. Anyway, losers. I’m here now. Don’t tell me keith gave you a blood nose...”  
It wouldn’t be the first he had, nightmares and flailing limbs sometimes wound up in accidents   
“Ha ha. No. I didn’t give my husband a blood nose. What’s in the box?”  
“I don’t know, birthday boy. You’re going to have to stop being so gay for Lance and check it for yourself”  
“Like you haven’t already sussed it out. I know you better than that”  
“Nope. It’s a surprise. Hunk warned me I wasn’t allowed to peek”  
“That makes a first”  
Seeing she “couldn’t” flip Curtis off, Pidge flipped him off. Lance gave a small laugh that he failed to turn into a covering cough. Keith had thought his husband would be more on edge with Pidge present, but he seemed to be fine with her and Coran visiting without notice. Quiznak. Coran... The poor man was hovering near the sofa  
“Coran. Thanks for coming. You didn’t have to”  
“Hush, my boy. It’s your birthday...”  
He was there for the both of him, but could see the way he was staring at Lance with concern in his eyes. His present shifting from one hand to another as he rocked on his heels  
“... We had a good season with the junipers this year. It’s a fine vintage”  
Did that mean he was being gifted Nunvil? God, he hoped it wasn’t nunvil... nothing fucked him up quite like nunvil  
“Thanks, Coran. You can put that on the table if you like”  
As Coran turned to do just that, Pidge launches herself up  
“You snooze you’re loose”

Claiming the side closest to the fireplace on the sofa, Pidge grinned across at Coran. Keith wanted to sit back beside his husband, but that’d make them a seat short. He kind of felt rude telling Coran to sit on the coffee table... Coran would wave it off. His mother wouldn’t be impressed, Lance would be awkward about it, not thinking about his back as he volunteered his seat. Lance’s back was the only reason he was holding himself back from hefting Lance into his lap. Fuck. He had to be responsible   
“I’ll grab another chair, why don’t you sit beside Lance, Coran?”  
Pidge’s smugness fell, her victory of scoring the free spot next to Lance was for nothing. Lance wiped off the last of the blood, Keith taking the paper towel from him as he went to be a “responsible adult”  
“I promise I’m not contagious, just pregnant”

Watching over his shoulder, he wasn’t jealous at all. Nope. Just be sure it was his birthday, and they were taking what should be his spot... he wasn’t jealous at all...  
“That wouldn’t worry me one bit, my boy. How are you feeling?”  
Sitting beside Lance, Lance moved everything so slightly away from Coran. Throwing out the bloodied paper towel, Keith grabbed a chair and lugged it over to the living area. As he sat, he couldn’t help noticing there was forced space between their two friends... maybe opting to grab a chair from the dining area had been a bad idea  
“Tired, but ok. A little confused, but I’m happy to see you both. After the way Pidge grumbled about the walk, I didn’t think she’d be in any hurry to rush back here”  
Pidge playfully shoved Lance’s arm, Lance grimacing at the touch. Instead of being offended she simply rolled her eyes  
“That’s because Coran brought another gift, and you’re both technology challenged. Annnnd, someone has to connect you guys with all our friends”  
That went right over Lance’s head, his lover seemed more interested in what Coran had brought. Maybe he was hoping it was a gift they could both partake in  
“Another gift?”  
Sliding off her shoulder bag, Pidge grabbed her laptop out. Keith hadn’t even noticed she’d be sporting the shoulder bag. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, but he seemed to be less observant when it came to the world around them. Lance held so much of his focus that Curtis could walk around the cabin naked and he wouldn’t notice if it didn’t directly affect his husband   
“Perhaps it’s better we show you. Keith, you’re not going to want to miss this”

Keith was clueless as to what was happening. He was sitting, leaning on Hunk’s mystery gift as Pidge connected her laptop to the TV. Curtis had grabbed them a round of drinks, while Krolia had settled down with Korra in her lap. All eyes were on the screen, other than his that were on Coran and Lance. Lance was leaning back, Coran holding a holopad of sorts that he was tapping on. Keith assumed it was something to do with what Pidge was up to, and it proved to kind of be, just not in the way he thought  
“Now, feast your eyes upon the minions!”  
Making her proclamation with a wave of her hand, blue light glowed from beneath the holopad, Lance’s gasping as their twins came up on the screen. Reaching over him, Pidge held her hand up for a high-five, then was left hanging for few very long ticks. Coran seemed quite proud of himself when he realised he was leaving her hanging an high-fived her back. Keith didn’t give two shits about the pair of them. His eyes wide... no way... He didn’t have words... practically tongue tied as he stuttered out   
“A-Are t-they...?”  
“Admit it, we’re the best friends you ever had. Portable scanners exist, but this one is a Pidge and Coran special for your birthday. Holy quiznak! Look how big they are! Dude, you have people in your stomach!”

Their twins were so much bigger than he remembered them being. Their tiny hands were real hands. Their noses actual noses... and faces... and their feet. He could see their toes... heck, he could see their eyelids and little lips...  
“Holy fuck... Would you look at that”  
Curtis summed it up perfectly. No one scolded him, Krolia following up  
“You look nearly full term... how far along are you supposed to be?”  
Keith wasn’t sure, half-heartedly throwing over his shoulder   
“30 weeks?”  
His mother hummed. Keith ignoring the sound in favour of watching their boys, both looked upside to him... were they supposed to be pointing downwards? He was sorry to say, but this had become his favourite birthday present. Watching their boys move, he wanted to see if he could see the movement under Lance’s skin. His husband wouldn’t be comfortable with that... maybe he could ask Coran if they could borrow the scanner  
“Dude, can you feel them kicking your ribs?”  
“Yeah...”  
“That’s so weird”  
“Thanks, Pidge”  
“Not bad weird. I mean, look at my minions...”  
“I told you before, if you want minions you have to do nappies”  
“You can’t pass your crappy jobs onto me”  
Lance groaned. Keith still let this all wash over him. His boys were so big now... Had his father had this with Krolia? Probably not... the shack was pretty isolated and his mother couldn’t exactly go to the hospital...  
“Keith, are you ok?”

Reaching out to him, Coran placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder, the half-Galra jumping at the touch. Keith wasn’t sure if he was ok. They were... they were perfect. He wanted to do everything in his might to protect them... How could anyone hurt a kid? Sure, some kids were absolute shits, and some parents were even worse, but... fuck...  
“I need a moment... sorry, guys”  
“Keith...”  
Ignoring his mother, Keith fled from the living room. He could hear Lance telling Krolia to stay, not to follow him out onto the veranda because he knew what this was about. His mother wasn’t impressed. Krolia may have seen his memories... Lance... Lance hadn’t, yet it was easier to talk to him because he hadn’t... He wasn’t his parent, he was his lover. Every bit of Lance accepted him the way he was.

Lance wrapped his arm around him as Keith leaned on the veranda railing. Kissing his shoulder, his husband didn’t push for an explanation. Letting him find the words for what he wanted to say by himself. Pushing lightly off the railing, Keith turned into the hold. Breathing in his husband’s scent, Keith told himself to calm down. His nails had turned to claws as he’d gripped the railing, Lance should have been scared of the way he looked, but his husband was holding him as if they’d been born to do this. He wasn’t the people who’d hurt him. He wasn’t the teen lashing out, angry and confused about who he was and his place in the universe. Here he was, with the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The man that could irritate the absolute quiznak out of like there was no tomorrow, but he was also the love of his life. Who’d taught him all kind of things about himself. Who was always there to support him...  
“I’m sorry”  
Lance kissed his temple   
“Babe, it’s ok. You’re ok. I could see it all over your face. You’re allowed to miss your dad. You’re allowed to worry about the future”  
“I... think I had a moment”  
“You did. I thought you’d prefer me than the others. That was a pretty “wow” moment for both of us. I totally didn’t expect that to be happening today”  
Nosing are Lance’s collarbone, Keith nipped lightly at his husband’s necklace chain. It was in the way of where he wanted to kiss. Keith wasn’t sure what to say. He loved seeing his boys. He loved that he got to see them again after so long... When he didn’t find his words, Lance continued   
“Yeah... They’re... Let’s say I’m a bit more scared about them coming out of me than I was. They... my butt hurts at the idea of how big their heads and shoulders are when compared to my... well, yeah... I guess we know why I’m so fat”  
“You’re not fat, babe. I’m sorry... they... Quiznak. They’re amazing”  
Seeing them in 3D... seeing their faces... They looked so... so incredible  
“It was the first time you’d seen them since my birthday. You’re allowed to need a moment. You don’t need to be sorry for anything. You’re going to be an amazing father. I know it. You’re father would be so proud of you. So proud of you... I’m proud of you”  
“Thank you. I don’t understand how people can hurt children...”  
“I don’t either, baby. But whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. I’ve got your back”  
Keith pulled back, Lance’s moving to cup his face as he kissed him sweetly. His husband nuzzling against his nose until Keith finally agreed  
“I know you do. Let’s head back in”  
“Yeah. You need to open that box from Hunk and Shay. The suspense is killing me here. I feel like it’s going to be food, but then there’s that mystery... like maybe it isn’t food... but maybe it is... who knows what’s in the box”  
Snorting, Keith shook his head. Pidge and Lance were both as bad as each other, though he’d bet good GAC that Pidge had peaked  
“We can’t have that. I feel like if it’s Hunk, it has to be food”  
“Oooh maybe he sent more of those cupcakes... they were sooo good”  
“Or maybe he sent himself to check up on us?”  
Lance laughed, Keith happy to play along with the mystery, even if the suggestion was completely impractical  
“If they’d had to wheel it in, I would totally be behind that theory... but Pidge was carrying it... unless... If he found a way to make himself lighter... Oh, God! Hunk could be trapped in the box”  
“You’re such an idiot”  
Lance nodded, sounding proud as he bragged   
“Yep. I get it from my husband. You should meet him. He’s the idiot to my idiot”  
Snorting again, Keith would never tire of the way Lance always managed to make him feel like the most loved person in existence   
“He sounds amazing. I bet he’s good looking and great in bed”  
“He is. He’s hands down the most handsome man I’m married to. But he’s also this great big grizzled softy that loves cuddles. Don’t tell him I said that though. He’s got this whole “emo brooding bad arse” thing going on. It’s hot as hell”  
“Your secret’s safe with me”  
“Awesome. Gotta protect this reputation of mine. Can’t have him knowing how much I adore him, or how happy I am to have him in my life”  
“I know for a fact he feels the same way about his husband. He’s told me how much he adores you, and how incredibly proud he is when it comes to you... but don’t tell him I said that”  
“I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine?”  
“Deal”  
Catching a glance at each other’s faces, they both shared a small laugh. Lance moulding into his side as they turned to head back inside the cabin. Keith wasn’t sure what was coming next, but thanks to his husband he felt sure he could handle it.


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here’s part 2!  
Don’t forget this is a direct continuation. There’s so much damn text that ya’ll needed a break

The mystery of the box was solved. Hunk had sent enough food for a small army. All of it allergen free, and all of it apparently good in some way for Lance’s pregnancy. Lance seemed a little disappointed there weren’t cupcakes, but that only lasted as long as it took to find home made caramel slice neatly packed towards the bottom of the box. Claimed by his husband, Keith didn’t have the heart to take it away from him. Pidge was the only one to take a piece of the slice when Lance offered it around, everyone else could see how excited Lance was over it, whereas Pidge simply didn’t care. The gremlin was setting up the group call for his birthday, after sending the video of their boys through to Miriam. Miriam would be part of the group call, as would Lance’s team. This was supposed to be for him, to celebrate his birthday, but the previous day Lance had fallen asleep while Mami had talked. His husband was missing his mother something chronic, he’d realised that during his chat with Shiro, now he’d be awake to see her. While they’d been out on the veranda, Coran had moved to sit in the recliner that Curtis had been in, he now had Korra sleeping on his shoulder. His mother, Curtis and Pidge were sitting on the sofa, leaving the recliner for him and Lance. He hadn’t wanted to hurt his husband’s back, but the slice had perked him up. Lance now snuggled up in his lap with the fudge sitting on his belly. 

Shiro was the first person Pidge called, his adoptive brother was a gushing mess over the video of their twins. Curtis didn’t help by being just as gushing over the whole thing, and their roles as godparents to the boys. It hadn’t registered but this was the first scan Curtis had seen in person. The first time he got to experience the joy that came with each scan. They’d seen the features of their boys in scans before, but not with the twins looking so... human. So close to being born... He wasn’t sure how much more human they could possibly be, or how much more they could possibly need to grow before they were born. He’d have to consult their baby book. Lance wouldn’t be going into labour here. Maybe another month, then they’d have to leave their temporary home. Plus, Curtis had to be coming to an end of his leave soon. They wouldn’t be able to stay here without his presence... The idea of leaving their “bubble” wasn’t appealing in the slightest. Lance was still healing emotionally. He was still learning to accept that he’d soon be giving birth, or rather, soon he’d be a father to their little boys. The less stress between now and then, the better. Having them call was better for Lance, also better for him and his stupid secondary instincts. Keith quietly proud of how he’d kept his jealousy in check for the most part. There’d been no yelling, or accusations... He hadn’t put his foot in it, and didn’t intend to now.

Letting Shiro and Curtis do most of the talking, Keith was happy to watch his adopted brother be himself and be a total idiot over Korra. As far as babies went, she hadn’t kept them up all night with her crying, and her serenades weren’t completely terrible. The real chaos of the day didn’t start until Pidge connected everyone else into the conversation. It soon turned into everyone trying to wish him a happy birthday, or make a joke about how he was going to be a father soon, so he and Lance had to get their act together. Lance managed a few words here and there, Pidge and Hunk getting into an argument over whether or not she peaked in the box ahead of time. Pidge stuck to her guns, swearing she hadn’t, nor had she scanned the box to determine its contents. The fact that she supplied that counter argument lead him to believe she had. Given that Hunk, Shay, and Shiro were still technically at work, they were the first of the group to sign off. Shay was extremely shy about wishing him a happy birthday, managing to get the words out just before the call disconnected. Shiro promised he’d be in touch soon, but that was probably in the form of him calling Curtis as they’d talked the night before... and possibly a call later to see how Lance faired after talking to everyone. There’d been a small flare where the topic of conversation was how big Lance had gotten, much to his husband’s misery. Sure, he’d started to relax again one the conversation had moved past his belly, but his upset was clogged in Keith’s nose. The caramel slice discarded the second he became the focus of things. The Cuban was also sitting a little stiffer in his hold, his face hidden against Keith’s cheek as he clammed up. Lance hadn’t said “red”, nor had he escaped the conversation by saying he needed the bathroom. Having his hands on the container the slice had been in, kept them from wandering to scratch at the inside of either wrist.

The next three to sign off were Acxa, Zethrid and Ezor. All of them repeatedly telling him how lazy he was for relaxing at the cabin while they were stuck with the trainees. When they’d left the call, Veronica had joined. Miriam was fast to scold her oldest daughter the moment Veronica went to enquire about Lance’s pregnancy. Marco laughing hard until Daehra shoved him off his seat and ruined his image in front of his family. Daehra also had a few choice words for the pair of them. Him because he was letting Lance work from the cabin when he should be concentrating on his pregnancy. Lance because he hadn’t called Annla, and the pint sized Princess wasn’t impressed with either of them over it. The request to call was also accompanied by the request for pictures of Kosmo. Keith felt slightly “used” as she was only wanted photos of his wolf and not his perfect twin boys. She was getting both, whether she wanted them or not. Daehra also wanted a copy of Lance’s scan for her medical files. With how his husband was feeling, that’d have to wait until he’d recharged his courage. Veronica seemed to scare Lance more than Krolia’s arrival. He didn’t think anything had happened that was out the ordinary, but he’d been out of it after the explosion so would probably need to ask Curtis for the truth there. And, it wasn’t like Lance was ghosting her. He did reply to his messages. It might take a few hours, or day’s depending on who it was, but he did reply.

With the outpost to run, Daehra swapped out with Lucteal who wished him a happy birthday. Lance perked up enough to tease him about the hickey on his neck. Lucteal’s face turning bright red at the mention of Yule. This led to Marco being elbowed in the ribs as he pulled a total Lance and started gossiping about how Yule had come to the outpost for some part, and how Lucteal had been totally jealous when Tobias had cooked for her. Both he and Zak passed on their wishes, yet Keith was sure they didn’t actually know or really care. Lance’s team were happy, and he knew that made his husband happy, but he also knew that Lance was devastated that he wasn’t there to witness it all. As Marco and Lucteal devolved into wrestling, Lucteal attempting to silence a Marco who wouldn’t be silenced, wetness smeared against his cheek. Lance shaking was he started nosing into him in an attempt to find comfort that his arms around his husband wasn’t providing. For Lance to last this long made him proud. With Miriam scolding both men in the background, Keith caught Curtis’s attention. Being the guest of honour in the whole thing, and being as socially competent as a barnacle on the bottom of a sunken wreck, Keith wasn’t sure how to politely bring things to a close. When it’d been the 8 of them, he could take the moment. Now it was 11 of them and he felt awkward leaving Mami. Lucteal and Marco’s feeling didn’t matter as much to him as they’d be fine. Mami was Mami. She was stuck in Cuba worrying for her pregnant son, knowing that Lance had had an off day the day before. He didn’t want her to worry, not when this was clearly from Lance being overwhelmed by so many thoughts, feelings and emotions brought on by seeing their friends again. Without a working clock in front him, Keith could only assume they’d been talking for at least the last 3 hours. He wasn’t even sure there was anything left to say. They’d wished him a happy birthday. They’d gushed over his boys... and now they all had jobs to go back to. If he was exhausted from them all, then Lance had to be near on passed out. Plus, his husband hadn’t gone that long without needing a bathroom break in time since he’d arrived.

Curtis being, as Lance liked to call him, “Space Dad 2.0”, he was quick to assess the situation. Whispering to Pidge, Pidge have a quick nod at his words, disconnecting Lucteal and Marco from the chat, then Veronica who’d started talking to Miriam and Krolia, sending a short burst of static through the line before she did. Once again, Keith was in awe of her tech skills, and just a little bit scared over how easily it was for her to cut the call like it didn’t matter. Sensing something was up, Miriam was polite as she waved them off. Sending her love and making them promise to keep her up to date with everything happening there. Krolia’s comms rang less than 30 seconds after the call disconnected, his mother bullshitting her way out to the veranda with a bold face lie that it was the coalition.

Unlike her usual prying self, Pidge made herself look busy as Curtis came over to them. Keith hadn’t realised but Coran had fallen asleep sometime after Shiro, Hunk, and Shay had disconnected. Both he and Korra dead to the world, still cuddled up together. Taking the container from Lance’s hands, Curtis placed it on the coffee table before placing his hand on Lance’s shoulder   
“Lance, are you ok?”  
When his husband didn’t reply immediately, Keith replied for him  
“I think he’s reached his people limit for now”  
Letting out a soft sob, Lance shook his head   
“I’m sorry...”  
Lance didn’t need to be sorry  
“Shhhh. It’s ok. Our friends don’t know when to shut up”  
“I... I need to use the bathroom...”  
“That’s perfectly fine, Lance. Keith can go with you”  
“I’m sorry”  
Curtis squeezed Lance’s shoulder softly, his smile didn’t waver at all  
“Honestly, I wasn’t the reason for the call, but as Keith said, and maybe not as harshly, our friends really don’t know when to be quiet. I’m not sure what we were talking about by the end of it”  
His husband dropped to a rough whisper. Keith realising that the whole time they’d been wrapped up in the conversation, he’d taken a sip of his drink but hadn’t thought to give anything to Lance. He was also pretty numb across the thighs and arse, his husband most probably in agony from holding the pose for so long   
“I... had an accident...”  
Curtis made an “ah” sound, Keith wasn’t completely convinced Lance had. He hadn’t felt anything  
“Not to worry. You and Keith take as long as you need. I saw you falling asleep there. If you want to take a nap...”  
Lance continued his mumbling   
“Pidge and Coran...”  
“We can make up extra beds. It’s not a big deal. Or they can head back with Krolia later tonight. There’s still an hour and a half until dinner if you want to take a nap”  
“You’ll wake us?”  
“I promise. I should also look for Kosmo. He hasn’t been back since he was scolded for stealing pancakes this morning”  
It was suspiciously silent without Kosmo there to steal their food. He hadn’t noticed much more than the occasional urge to swap Lance sitting in this lap to his husband sitting between his legs  
“I didn’t even notice he’d disappeared again. Lance, babe, lets clean up and take a nap”

Standing under the spray of the shower, Keith washed his husband’s body for him. He wasn’t sure why his husband hadn’t told him that. Soaping up Lance’s shoulders, his husband was leaning against the wall, asleep on his feet as he chewed on his lip. Kissing the place he’d just scrubbed over, Keith wanted to understand   
“Lance, why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Hmmm?”  
“You didn’t tell me... about... That you needed the bathroom”  
“I didn’t want to make a scene”  
“That’s not making a scene. How long... how long were you holding back from saying anything?”  
“Why should it matter? I’m fine... all I want is to go nap with you”  
Nipping at Lance’s shoulder, his husband swatted at him. This would have to be a short shower. Lance needed both his and Curtis’s support to make it to the bathroom due to his back, and the pain down his leg   
“It matters to me. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I’m sorry that I didn’t notice”  
“You weren’t supposed to...”

Keith felt a stab of something akin to anger that Lance would hide something from him. He wouldn’t have made a big deal out of it, or a scene. The could have covered it with a white lie, or he could have covered while Lance went to the bathroom  
“Why? Why wouldn’t you tell me? There’s nothing embarrassing about using the bathroom”  
“Keith...”  
“I don’t get it... You shouldn’t have been sitting there like that. When did it happen?”  
“Keith...”  
“Babe. When did it happen?”  
Mumbling and sniffling, Lance sadly answered  
“Not long after Shiro left the call. I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”  
“Babe! That was... for that long... why didn’t you tell me”  
Lance jumped at “Babe!”, Keith supposing he had been a bit forceful with the word  
“I didn’t want you to be angry... I thought you were mad...”   
“What no? Why would I be mad? I’m a little mad you didn’t tell me, but we both know you’re heavily pregnant and these small accidents happen”  
“But... it’s your birthday. Everyone should have been here with you. Or you with them. Instead, you’re in the middle of nowhere with me... I didn’t want to ruin your birthday! I wanted it to be perfect for you”

Hanging the shower puff back around the cold tap, Keith then wrapped his arm around his husband   
“It’s perfect because I’m here with you. That’s all I need”  
“But it’s not what you deserve! You deserve the best birthday ever. With everyone celebrating the fact you exist, because you existing is the best thing ever”  
“Honestly, I was over the call thing before Shiro left the conversation. You’re not the only one who felt overwhelmed. My team was thinking of visiting, and having an actual party here, but I chose this instead. I chose this because all I wanted was to spend the day with my husband. That’s a perfect day to me. I know you had plans for us, and I didn’t want you to be upset by the change of plans”  
“You shouldn’t have to change your plans around me. I want you to have your own life. To have your own friends... I want you to make memories with them, not just with me...”  
“I didn’t “have” to do anything. I did it because it’s what I wanted. I want to spend this time with you. Without the fuss of a huge birthday. Birthday’s are hard for me, like Christmas is. I’m still learning to be okay with them. And I’m learning that maybe I am okay with them when I have you with me. You don’t need to punish yourself over an accident. You don’t need to hate yourself or think you need to be uncomfortable like it’s some kind of earned punishment”  
“But... but I fucked up. I couldn’t talk to them all properly”  
“You did. You were already tired before the call. We both could have used a nap to recharge. Also... I’m not good with people and words. You being there helped me”  
“You’re not as bad as you think. Everyone loves you. We all love you... I’m sorry I messed up”

If Lance apologised one more time, Keith was going to melt down the drain hole due to the guilt he felt over the incident. For hours, or at least a good hour, his husband had hidden his accident thinking it’d be the best thing... His confidence had taken a hard knock with Krolia being there, and again when their friends had mentioned his stomach. Not only had Lance wet himself, he’d also been sitting through a damp bra. Keith was sure the wet fabric against his nipples hadn’t felt great thanks to the small leak  
“No more apologising. It’s my birthday and I say no more”  
“I’m... I wanted it to be perfect. Curtis and I were going to do the cake... and then... I thought we could make lunch together. Nothing fancy... You looked so happy when you cooked me lunch and I thought “yeah, we could totally come up with something together”. I mean... I wanted to you know, try cooking before then and I did plan that before you made eggs... I know I shouldn’t make plans... I only get down over them. I... I really wanted you to be happy”  
“I am. I am with you”  
“But that’s another thing. You have obligations outside of staying here. Your team mentioned it. You should be training. Practicing your Blade skills and keeping in contact with everyone. I want you to have a life outside helping me cope”  
“I do have a life”  
He was technically recovering, which he could have done back on Daibazaal, but he’d made the choice for himself that he wanted to be by Lance’s side above everything   
“You’ve been so focused on me. I want you to do something for you. Only for you. I want you to be selfish. I want you to ask me for things... I want you... I want you to...”  
“You want me to what?”  
“I don’t want to be a burden... I don’t want to shackle you down”

Coaxing Lance to turn in his hold, his husband’s brilliant blue eyes were far too wet for his liking   
“You are not a burden. I’m here because I want to be with you. I want you to feel safe and I want you to relax as much as possible before your c-section. Ok. And it’s nice here with just the three of us. There’s no pressure on me to be Krolia’s son, or to be a senior Blade member. I’m here because I want to take care of my family”  
“But you’re missing out on stuff...”  
“That stuff couldn’t be anywhere near as important as being with you and our boys”  
“But... what about Daibazaal? You were so passionate about making the universe see you guys as something more than Zarkon’s legacy”  
“We fulfilled our obligations with the tour. I know it’s been weeks for you, but to me I’m still coming off the tour. I’m not... I don’t want to work. I want to enjoy being with you. All that other stuff can wait”  
“Don’t you miss them? Your team? Shiro?”  
“I do. But they’re all just a call away. I would rather be here with you missing them, than out there with them missing you”  
Lance’s eyes widened, Keith biting down a snort at the expression on his face. His husband was so damn cute   
“Keith... if that... if that ever changes, I won’t blame you”  
“It won’t. How about we get out of this shower?”  
“If you want to hang with Pidge...”  
“Idiot. I’ve had enough “peopling” to last me today”  
“She came all this way. She said she wouldn’t and she did”  
“That reminds me, she visited you here?”  
“Yeah... not long after Curtis brought me out here. It was... kind of nice. She didn’t make a big fuss or anything...”  
“So you’re reconnecting with her?”  
“Maybe? A bit? She brought burgers but my mouth was messed up”  
Keith was proud. He was proud Lance hadn’t shut her out when she’d made the effort. And he was proud of Pidge for respecting Lance enough to not pry or make a scene  
“Then we’ll have to take her out to dinner or something after the boys come”  
“Mmm... I’m sorry... about before”  
“That’s alright. Well, it’s not, but it’s passed now. Don’t ever feel you can’t tell me when something happens. I love you”  
“I love you, too”

After their shower, Keith finally got his cuddles. Lance falling asleep almost immediately when they spooned up together. Despite feeling as if he too was about to drift off, Keith spent their hour simply enjoying cuddling his husband close. When Curtis crept in to wake them, Keith felt mean for having to wake Lance up to eat. His husband clearly needed more than an hour’s rest. Asleep on his feet, Curtis moved their chairs closer together so Lance could against Keith’s while Keith fed him. Lance insisted he could manage a fork on his own, but the vacant expression he wore when the carrot he’d slabbed slipped off the plate said otherwise. Taking the fork from his husband, Lance seemed to think he got out of eating proper for that day. No matter what either of them thought, Curtis was firm in his stance that caramel slice didn’t count as real food, meaning that if Keith didn’t take over feeding Lance, he’d be in the shit tomorrow. Slicing everything that seemed to magic it’s self onto his plate, with a little help from Coran, Lance ended up eating more than Keith by the end of dinner. By the time the cake came out of the fridge, they’d all gorged themselves on Hunk’s home cooking as if they hadn’t eaten in the last phoeb. Lance tried his absolute hardest to sing along with their group, his husband mumbling/singing in a strangled kind of way “samurai” instead of his name, sending Pidge into a fit of giggles as they finished up singing him happy birthday, before Keith blew out the 26 candles on his cake. He didn’t need 26 candles to remind him how old he was getting. It was weird enough to think of how long it’d been since Shiro had crashed and changed all their lives, and it was even weirder to think he was married to the love of his life with twin boys on the way. Sure, there were things he wished he could go back and change. But for them to end up where they had, how they had, he was pretty damn proud of the both of them for that. Things weren’t perfect, yet they were both still working hard on the aspects of themselves that they found lacking. They were talking and they were getting there. Lance had come so far. He wasn’t cold. He wasn’t a stranger. He wasn’t suffering in silence any more. He’d admitted his past and they were working through what would take years to... not get over, but to make a kind of peace with. Lance would forever be scarred from his experiences, and though it was certain they’d fight, neither of them were going to give up on each other, nor were they going to give up on the future with their boys.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casually walks in and drops this big arse chapter. Tumblr did get it first, and it is unedited. I’ve been working more so when I get home all I’ve wanted to do is sleep. I guess that happens when you turn 30... lol

As they saying goes “time waits for no man”, and Lance was that man. He wasn’t sure where their time had gone. After Keith’s birthday, and after finding their fur son in a food coma on the front veranda, time had seemed to slip through his fingers. The Cuban barely remembered most of Keith’s birthday, only that his husband had been happy, which was of course the main thing. Kosmo had been happy too. Pidge and Coran had brought extra supplies with them, but instead of using flip lock cases, they’d used normal packing cases which weren’t Kosmo proof. After breaking into them, their fur son had eaten his weight in rations. Not found until Curtis had gone hunting for them. Seeing they hadn’t had that much time to catch up, due to him being incredibly tired, Pidge and Coran had stayed the night, then left with Krolia in the morning. 

After that the following week passed so fast he wasn’t sure they’d been an actual week in there. Curtis, unfortunately wasn’t allowed longer leave, so had taken to commuting back and forth from the Garrison, working on some Earth project for the coalition. He’d had to work Halloween, leaving both he and Keith alone and unsupervised for the night. Normally not one to be overly jumpy or squeamish in the face of a good horror movie, Keith had ended up wearing most of their popcorn as they cuddled on the sofa. Every scene seemed to either make him jump or bring him to tears, even when the character they’d been making bets on died. 

Spending the alone time with Keith was nice, and frustrating. Curtis acted like a father, keeping them level headed over the simple things such as doing the washing. Keith tried his hardest, but Lance found himself screaming at him when his husband accidentally turned their sheets mucky grey thanks to a wrongly placed black shirt. He didn’t mean to be short with Keith. He really didn’t. Keith meant no harm. He was trying his hardest to look after him, and being the heathen that he was, wasn’t used to separating colours from whites. No. It wasn’t Keith he was mad at, not truly. He was mad at himself. He was over being pregnant. He was over the hormones. He was over the ups and downs. He was over being unbalanced and sore. He was over the wacky dreams, and the even worse nightmares. He’d been murder by a flock of ducks in a particularly weird dream. Keith had laughed way too much over it while Lance had sobbed out his new hatred for them. He was over crying. Over his breasts aching and leaking. Over his need to either fuck Keith or sleep with pretty much no in between. Over... pretty much everything. He wanted his sons out... and felt terrible for wanting that. They needed to stay in him as long as possible. They needed to develop further for their best chance in life. Keith tried to help. Curtis too. “Red” had come back into play more often than before. He found himself almost constantly confused, wandering around the cabin because he’d forgotten what he was doing. After Keith’s birthday and with Curtis’s return to work, they’d picked a date to head to Erathus in a months time, it was now two weeks after Keith’s birthday and Lance was trying his hardest not to be thoroughly miserable.

*  
Watching Lance as he dozed in his arms, Keith was exhausted. He wasn’t sure Lance remembered that Shiro was coming home with Curtis that day, not when they’d wound up having sex on the couch for the second time that day. Keith would never complain about sex with his husband, he just wished that Lance was awake longer afterwards so they could cuddle properly. He also wished his husband didn’t smell so amazing all of the time. His instincts had gone crazy. One of Curtis’s shirts had wound up in their washing. The offending item was promptly thrown out the window to rid himself of the man’s scent. When Curtis had returned Keith had to rather sheepishly explain to him why his shirt was outside, as well as the fact he couldn’t seem to stop growling each time Curtis approached his husband. It was getting beyond a joke. He’d been making their bed a couple of days ago when Lance came to tell him that Curtis had finished cooking dinner. The pillow in his hands torn in two as his Galra side flared thanks to his dumb instincts. He didn’t get why he was so on edge. He’d finally gotten Lance to agree to return to Erathus.

Kissing Lance’s sweat damp hair, his husband let out a nasally snore. He wasn’t sure that Lance even realised the reason Shiro was coming was so they could pack and leave this little bubble of paradise. His husband was clearly miserable in his current state. He knew Lance loved their boys, but he also knew his husband was quiznakking over being pregnant. He’d yelled as much in his face. When they weren’t fighting there’d been a few sweet moments. They’d made more than one meal where they hadn’t set the kitchen on fire, or burned what they were trying to make into a charred lump. He’d made Lance throw up once, another win in his books as he wasn’t responsible for Lance’s reaction to the “smelly mushrooms” he’d been frying in the pan. The pan and the mushrooms being literally thrown out the door, not that that had helped. The smell had flooded through the cabin. Taking what Lance deemed edible, they’d sat on the back side of the cabin’s veranda where it was free from stench. Once the nausea had settled Lance was able to laugh over what had happened, their meal long since cold by the time they remembered to actually eat. It’s been nice simply sitting outside, next to each other. Especially when the weather had been so miserable of late as winter rolled in. Keith was nervous that they’d end up trapped in the cabin, or worse for Lance, his husband would have to give birth on Earth. Their plan was Erathus, with the obstetrician that Lance knew trusted. If he needed accomodation Th’al could put him up at the Gilded Cage, not that he intended to leave Lance’s side. He just wasn’t sure if he’d be allowed to be there during the procedure. Plus, being on Erathus meant not risking the human staff of the Garrison thanks to his instincts or his Galra side. Once the procedure had been scheduled he’d also contact Mami and Daehra to let them know what was happening. Mami was a force to be reckoned with when it came to Lance and his health. He held no doubts that his mother-in-law would bully them into letting him be there to hold his husband’s hand. Keith was still terrified about the coming birth and the potential complications, but there wasn’t anything he could do to change a single thing. The hospital staff would take care of Lance physically, leaving him to be the stability for his husband, like Lance had been a hundred times for him. Holding Lance, his own eyes started to droop. He’d become a house husband, there was no denying it. Rainy days now didn’t mean that he couldn’t train, instead they seemed to be made for cuddling Lance as they watched some B-grade TV, before they banged it out on the sofa then cuddled up while Lance napped. Letting himself start to drift off, he said a small prayer that they wouldn’t be found like this.

Dinner had been missed by their napping, no signs of Curtis or Shiro as it pushed on 7pm. Lance had roused a few hours later with the need to pee. The weather outside turning stormy maybe half an hour after he’d woken. Trying to coax Lance into eating, his husband shook his head, indigestion hurting too much to try eating. Keith got that it sucked balls for his husband, but that didn’t mean he liked Lance skipping meals as if it was the perfectly natural thing to do. Nor was he confident about his cooking skills without supervision by his husband. He was getting better, Lance was happier to direct him than to do the actual cooking. So when it fell on the nights that Curtis wasn’t there, he was proud to be able to cook for his husband, although he was nowhere up to Mami’s standards Lance still usually ate what he created. Making dinner for the four of them felt lacking when his husband wouldn’t eat it. He knew Shiro would crack a joke about his terrible cooking, and “if it was edible”, once he finally got to the cabin... he just didn’t know when that would be.

When midnight passed without Shiro or Curtis returning, Keith dragged himself off the sofa to join Lance in their bed. Forced to climb under 6 blankets plus the knitted blanket gifted to them by Lance’s abeula which proudly laid over the ridiculous pile, it was a sauna before he even curled around Lance. He didn’t want to hurt Lance’s feelings but every-time he remade there bed, he’d always only put one or two blankets on, then Lance’s beloved knitted blanket brought by Krolia and hidden in the things she’d packed up for them. Then Lance would come along and smoother their bed with his blankets, especially in the last week. His husband kept stealing cushions froze around the cabin, as well as his dirty shirts, working to layer them through the blankets carefully. He’d been in trouble for stealing them back, then had learned his lesson that maybe he’d have to let Lance have this because he couldn’t stand seeing how guilty his husband was after being caught. Keith simply didn’t understand why they needed so many blankets on their bed, nor why Lance needed his scent all over him all of the time, when being cuddled up to him should have left plenty of smell on Lance’s soft skin. Nuzzling into his husband’s shoulder, Keith let the tension of waiting for Shiro slip away as he breathed in Lance’s sweet scent. He couldn’t do anything about his brother and Curtis not being there, so everything would have to wait until tomorrow.

*  
Keith woke late, a habit he’d fallen into due to Lance usually taking a few hours to finally fall asleep properly for the night. The storm from the previous day lashed the walls of the cabin, run bucketing down with the cold grey overcast sky bathing everything in dark shadows. Grumbling to himself, his sweats and singlet were glued to him with sweat. His skin felt itch where Kosmo’s fur decided it needed to stick to him, said fur son far too spoilt by Lance to sleep anywhere except on their bed where Lance would always attempt to make himself small enough for the three of them to fit. Climbing out of their bed Keith left the blankets pulled back to air out the dampness, the lack of Lance there for their morning cuddles was annoying. If he was going to swelter, he at least deserved his slow morning kisses with his sleepy husband. Fuck it. Lance was probably sleeping on the sofa. He’d just have to wait until then for them.

Opting to shower and some fresh clothes before heading out to the living room, Keith found himself to be the last one up. Shiro was nursing a cup of coffee. Shooting him a tired smile, his brother raised his mug at him  
“Look who’s awake. We got the plates you left out for us. Lance said you cooked?”  
“Yeah... what time did you two get in?”  
“About 3. The rain washed out part of the path here. Kosmo found us before we could get any further lost”  
“The path was washed out?”  
“Part of it. We thought about sleeping in the pod for the night, but we didn’t know how you two were, or if you still had power”  
Padding softly over to the kitchen, Keith poured himself a coffee. Over on the sofa, Lance was leaning against Curtis. He hadn’t meant to scowl at the sight, but that was his husband who was supposed to have been in bed with him  
“Don’t be like that. He came out about an hour ago, asked Curtis for some paracetamol for his back, then fell asleep again”  
Shooting Shiro an annoyed look, his brother had no idea why he was actually cranky. Ok. So he was kind of jealous... No... He was a lot jealous. Forcing himself to take half a dozen deep breaths, Shiro rather annoyingly watched on  
“Don’t give me that. You have no idea how stupid my instincts have been lately”  
“I have some idea. Curtis let me know”  
“Of course he did”  
Mumbling bitterly, Keith forgot the sugar and milk in his coffee. The black liquid completely unappealing as he glared at it  
“He’s worried about you”  
“He doesn’t need to be”  
“Keith...”  
“Not now. I want to check on Lance”  
“Let him sleep”

Growling involuntarily, Shiro raised an eyebrow at the sound. He was proving his brother right, that there was something there to be worried about   
“If he’s...”  
Keith trailed off, not sure what he wanted to say. If he was in pain why hadn’t he told him?  
“...He’s been out of it”  
That wasn’t terribly descriptive, nor did it fill Shiro in on what was going on with him or with Lance  
“What do you mean?”  
“I... it’s complicated. His back’s been bothering him, and... he... he doesn’t usually wake up and just leave me... if he’s in pain, I want him to tell me. I’ve told him he’s not a burden, but the moment you two come back he’s... with Curtis”  
“Ah... did you remember to tell him we were coming? He seemed pretty surprised to see us both”  
Keith nodded  
“Yeah... that’s... he keeps forgetting things. I’m worried that he’s... that he’s going to go for a walk and forget where he is... I told him more than once you were coming...”  
“Baby brain is common. He’s got a lot on his mind right now”  
“I know... I know that... but... he’s been weird in other ways. He keeps putting more and more blankets on our bed. He keeps taking the cushions from the lounge room, then gets upset if I move things around. He’s... he’s over being pregnant, but I don’t think he remembers that we’re supposed to be leaving here soon”  
Shiro nudged him with his elbow, Keith not sure what that was supposed to mean. His brother didn’t seem as worried as he was, which annoyed his instincts  
“I’m here now. When he wakes up, we can talk”  
“Yeah, good luck with that”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“That he’s been constantly tired. He’s up at least half a dozen times before he finally falls asleep. He’s been... affectionate, then all he wants to do is sleep. When you try to hold his attention, he starts to doze off”  
“It does take a lot of energy to grow a baby”  
Energy... that reminded him  
“Did you get him to eat? He wouldn’t eat dinner last night”  
“No. He asked for some paracetamol then went to sleep”  
“So he hasn’t eaten in the last twelve hours...”

Outside the cabin the thunder boomed so loud the windows shook. Keith wasn’t surprised when Lance woke with a scared cry. Taking his coffee mug before he could drop it, Shiro laughed at the way Keith rushed over to his husband as if they hadn’t been mid-conversation. Sitting hunched forward with his hands on his belly, Lance seemed pained. Knowing his instincts were messed up, Curtis climbed over the back of the sofa to give Keith his seat. Keith felt bad over the gesture for all of half a second before he was claiming his spot and cuddling into his husband. Whimpering softly, Lance’s hands went from his stomach to his ears as the thunder boomed again. As much as he wished Lance wasn’t scared of the thunder, he found it adorable the way he covered his ears and scrunched his eyes up. Looping his arm around his waist, Keith held him tight, nuzzling and kissing his hair until his husband lowered his hands and turned his gaze to him  
“Keith?”  
“I’m here, babe. It’s just a little bit of thunder”  
“I don’t feel very good”  
Lance didn’t look particularly well either. His scent smelt funny in a way Keith couldn’t put his finger on, while his brow was dotted with beads of sweat  
“Do you feel sick in the stomach?”  
“Hurts”  
“Your stomach hurts?”  
Lance nodded, then buried his face against Keith’s neck. His husband’s hands weakly gripping his shirt, as he shook  
“And my back...”  
“Should we get up and move a bit?”  
“Hurts”  
“Did you want to take a shower then?”  
“I did last night”  
“You has a shower last night? While I was sleeping?”  
“I felt gross last night... they hurt”  
“What hurts, baby? The twins?”  
“Feels... like fake contractions but these hurt...”

Keith furrowed his brow. He had to keep his husband calm. Lance wasn’t due yet, so they couldn’t be actual contractions. He’d had false contractions. Some had been painful, though the mostly seemed to be “annoying” more than anything. Lance conveniently not telling him then telling him as if he already had. The jury was still out on whether Lance had “forgotten” or forgotten as in actually unintentionally forgotten. He had mentioned them before so maybe they lingered? He didn’t know how this worked! He was still busy being quietly mad that he missed out on his cuddles  
“It’s probably the pain from your back. I know it hurts, but we need to get the pressure off your back for now. You’re probably not feeling great from not eating either, you’ve got to try and eat for me this morning”  
“I feel gross... my stomach feels gross”  
“I know. Even if it’s only a ration bar, you need something in your stomach”  
“I don’t want to eat...”  
“Babe, you need to eat. Just a little bit, please, for me?”  
Lance wouldn’t deny him, not if it was for him, no matter how badly he felt  
“But it’s hurts...”  
“I know... I know. Here, babe. Here, come on... up you get”

Leaning heavily against him, Lance had his right arm slung over his shoulder with his left on his stomach. Curtis and Shiro were hovering behind the kitchen counter watching them. Shiro was trying to ask him what they were doing, but it’s not like Keith had any idea. His hands were on Lance’s hips as they swayed. Lance had his face against his shoulder, and this whole moving thing didn’t seem to be helping. Curtis was the one who designed their rehabilitation plan. He didn’t know these movement exercises. He couldn’t dance. He didn’t know how to dance... and this kind of felt a lot like dancing. For last minute he’d been trying to tap out an “S.O.S” on Lance’s hip, only he didn’t know Morse code by heart so had no idea if he was calling for help or simply tapping on Lance’s hip to some invisible tune in time with this slow dance. Whatever it was, it wasn’t working. He was seriously starting to freak out... He couldn’t freak out with Lance in his arms. Lance would smell his panic, and that’d spur his panic... quiznak... he’d have to try mouthing and hope they didn’t think he was swearing.

Mouthing at Curtis and Shiro, it was then that Keith decided the pair of them were as dense as the trees that made the walls of the cabin. Lance seemed to notice something was wrong. His husband whimpering as he stopped moving  
“I know. Curtis is going to swap with me. I’m going to get you something for the pain”  
“Don’t... let me go...”  
“I’m not. Hey, I’m not... Curtis!”  
Hissing Curtis’s name, Curtis got his shit together. Striding over to them he was in time for Lance’s eyes to widen, his husband’s hands flying up to grab his shoulders. Keith had hit a new level of confusion. Something was wrong with his husband. Lance had lost all the colour in his face, and his wide eyes were actually scary... His marks were glowing brighter than Keith remembered, his lips had formed a silent “oh”. Shiro seemed to know something was up though. Unlike his boyfriend, Shiro jumped the counter, coming up behind Lance and taking him by the hips  
“Lance...”  
Someone had to tell him what the hell was going on here. Looking down then back up, the back down, then back up, Lance’s eyes were still wide as he locked eyes with Keith   
“I think my water just broke... It can’t... it... I...”

As Lance’s knees buckled in shock, Shiro held him up. Keith blinking rapidly as he didn’t know what to do, blurting out  
“Are you sure you didn’t wet yourself?”  
“Keith, nows not the time. Lance, are you sure?”  
Keith shot Shiro a glare. Why was it fine for him to ask that, but not Keith?  
“Felt it...”  
Interjecting rather loudly and with a squeaky pitch, Curtis’s tone kind of sounded how Keith’s heart felt... absolutely quiznakking scared out of his mind   
“Bathroom? You should take him to the bathroom. We should take him to the bathroom. Keith... we should take him to the bathroom. Lance... bathroom. I mean. We bathroom should go. No. That’s... Shiro?”  
Curtis couldn’t panic! He needed... he needed a more adult adult! Lance wasn’t supposed to be in labour... nope. No... his husband had to have it wrong. All this pain... and all this contraction like pain. Nope. Not contractions. No. No. He wasn’t due. Babies came... they were supposed to come when they’re due. His husband wasn’t due  
“Keith and I will take Lance to the bathroom. You check the weather. If it’s like this morning, we might not be able to get him out of here safely”

It was then that Keith’s eyes rolled back, the half-Galra unconscious before Curtis could catch him. Keith landing on the floor with a hard thud, Lance screaming his name. Shiro stopping him from falling with Keith and Curtis’s foot was trapped under Keith’s back with his hands still out.

*  
Shiro was lucky to still have his testicles. Lance wasn’t feeling particularly loving towards anyone. Not his husband who’d fainted. Not Shiro who insisted he needed to check the symptoms of labour, then tick them off with him... after he insisted on checking his underwear because apparently mucus plugs were a thing, and Shiro needed to check his underwear in case there was blood or gunk. There’d been blood in the night. He’d been up way too many times after Keith fell asleep. He assumed the blobby gunk was from constipation seeing he’d been back and forth after he’d finally gone. Had he know it was labour pains, he would have said something. He thought the quiznakking cramps were simply from the twins moving into place and over indulging in his husband.

Stripped down to his black boxer briefs and bra under an ill fitting bathrobe, Lance was waddle-pacing the living area cursing Keith and cursing the powers that be that created contractions. Curtis had tried to suggest that he woke through some exercises until they could sort out some way of leaving the cabin. No one was going to venture flying when there was a hurricane right outside the door. Not that he actually knew if it was a hurricane, and not a fleet of Glara ships firing down on their tiny position, because that was what it felt like. The whole cabin was shaking. The lights had begun flickering. Rain was lashing the windows so hard it seemed they’d shatter. The wind sounded as if it was screaming out his internal discomfort. And he was honestly scared as quiznak over it all. When Shiro had tried to touch him, his fear level pushed him to the point of vomiting though his stomach was empty from not having eaten before his water broke. Mami had told him that it wasn’t always a gush, sometimes it was slow trickle, or sometimes it didn’t happen until just before the baby came out. Lance didn’t know what to call the feeling. Saying it felt like a very small balloon popping in his butt was kind of what was happening. There’d been no real pressure then a great bursting. No, he supposed it was more like popping a pimple. One of those kind of pimples where the gunk shot out as it made a tiny noise. Whatever it was, he wasn’t impressed. He wasn’t supposed to be in labour. He was supposed to be on Erathus. He was supposed to be in an operating room. He wasn’t supposed to be watching as Shiro and Curtis became more and more agitated.

Lance had moved to leaning against the sofa, when Keith decided to wake his arse up. His arms were crossed with his head resting on them. Keith woke himself up with a start. Feeling not particularly sympathetic, there was a slight urge to maim him, or at least shoot him in the foot for what his husband and his monsterous dick had done to him. His contractions were only getting worse as his underwear grew wetter. His breasts were killing him with the feeling of pressure in his chest, as was the effect of gravity on his stomach. Having found a position that didn’t send pain radiating down his legs, he was hesitant to move as he concentrated on his breathing. Breathing could go fuck it’s self too... everything below his breasts hurt... He didn’t want to be touched. He didn’t want to keep standing. He didn’t want to sit down and he didn’t want to be in labour.

“Babe?”  
Staring up at him, Keith could take that concerned expression and stuff it where the sun didn’t shine. So why was it the moment their gaze me that he wanted Keith to get his arse off the sofa and hold him. Grunting as another contraction hit, he was thoroughly done with them as his the noise warbled off into a pained whine. This was third in the last hour and he was over it. He was over all of it. Shiro and Curtis weren’t even trying to help. No. They were standing off there whispering annoyingly  
“K-Keith...”  
Keith moved his left hand to rub the back of his head  
“What happened?”  
“You fucking fainted!”  
How could the arsehole not remember fainting on him? He wasn’t the one in labour! What did he have to faint about?!  
“Did I?”  
“Yes, you douche!”  
Too bad if Keith didn’t understand why he was cranky, he had no right to faint when he needed him   
“Babe...”

Keith pushed himself up with a groan, his husband looking pale. Climbing up to his feet, Kosmo trotted to his side, nosing at his hand. Keith staggering as if drunk  
“You’re... you... are you?”  
His husband was still trying to do the comprehend. Not that Lance knew how to comprehend. He didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t know what he didn’t want. He didn’t know what he was thinking... He didn’t know... He was scared and Keith had finally woken up. He was livid, snapping then immediately regretting it   
“Try to touch me and I will rip your fucking dick off... I’m sorry. I don’t mean that... Keith...”  
Gasping his husband’s name, Keith finally did what Lance wanted. His husband finally wrapped his arms around him, with Lance caving into the touch  
“How bad?”  
Worse than that time they all came down with food poisoning. Worse than that time he’d miscarried before he even knew he actually carrying. His body pains receptors seemed all kinds of fucked up. He wanted to say all that but the words didn’t quite want to work for him  
“Worse than... when I... I don’t know how to describe it...”  
Kissing his hair, Keith made a soft trilling noise as if to soothe him. His body deciding that now would be the perfect time for arousal to start snaking it’s unwanted tendrils through his groin, Keith misinterpreting his groan of annoyance   
“I’m here. I’m here... You’re doing so good for me, babe. So good. Shiro, what’s the ETA on getting out of here”  
Thank quiznak Keith had the bravery to ask that. All Lance’s bravery seemed to have deserted him the moment Shiro decided he needed no privacy.

“About that...”

Lance’s stomach dropped. “About that...” never went well when he needed it to   
“I got through to the Garrison, but the storm’s caused issues in town, so they have teams working there to prevent more accidents and linedowns... they’ve grounded their ships until it lessens”  
“You mean we’re stuck here”  
“For the next 4 hours at least. I’ve been reading on how to lessen the labour pains. They recommend squatting”  
Not keeping with the script another contraction decided to roll through his belly, as if to remind him they’d still be here in another four hours. Clutching Keith with a bruising force, he let himself sob out the pain  
“I don’t think that’s going to work, Shiro. He’s... he’s in so much pain that I can taste it in his scent”  
“They also said you can try orgasming to loosen the muscles. Massing you lower back. A warm shower... Nipple stimulation will speed the labour up... moving and taking your mind off it. Maybe doing something else to distract yourself... We should check to see how dilated he is...”  
Shiro could take his “orgasm and dilation” and stick up his own arse, preferably with his robotic arm. Maybe then he’d understand how fucking miserably Lance currently felt. His body wasn’t born for this. It didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do...  
“Babe, what do you want to do?”  
If those were his options, he’d take showering... and maybe a massage. Shiro was clearly reading off some site he’d found. But he didn’t want to shower too soon and have nothing to do...   
“Massage? I don’t know... it wasn’t supposed to be like this”  
Kissing his hair again, Keith was completely unaware how much things more bearable things were now he was awake. The anger he’d felt had ebbed away. Keith... Keith wouldn’t have made him strip and show him his underwear. He would have let him do only what he was comfortable doing. He would have let him do it himself. He wouldn’t have forced comfort on him trying to hide his panic, nor made him feel like he had to accept their concern  
“I know. I know... but we’ll get through this until we get a lift out of here. Let’s go to the bathroom, it’s not much but I can use some of the moisturiser. Can you guys heat up some heat packs for his back?”  
Curtis called out something that must have been yes, because the next thing he knew he was being supported by Keith away from the comfort of the sofa and off to the bathroom.

*  
Keith would swear to anyone who asked that he had the purest of intentions when led Lance into the bathroom. His husband was scared to quiznak over being in labour, and he wasn’t that far away from him. This wasn’t there birth plan. Not that they had a solid birth plan in place, but if they had, it definitely wasn’t Lance being in labour in the middle of nowhere with no idea how his husband was going to give birth. The lame excuse that the Garrison had given Shiro showed they couldn’t care less for Lance and his pregnancy, Keith feeling a particularly strong urge to rob Iverson of whatever sight was left in his other eye.

Rutting between his husband’s legs, Keith’s hands worked Lance’s breasts, with Lance a weeping mess as Keith fucked between his squeezed together thighs. The massage had started innocently enough. Keith clumsy as he squeezed too much moisturiser into his hands then dropped the tube on the floor. The feel of his hands against his back had his husband screaming with the initial contact, too tender to take more than fingertips across the small stretch marks, as his love tried to be strong. The massage hadn’t relaxed him as much as Keith had hoped it would. That wasn’t to say he hadn’t given Lance the most thorough massage of his life, as he worked from fingertips through to the heels of his palms. It was all to do with the fact he couldn’t relax due to the pain and fear. When his husband had finally given him permission to check to see if he was indeed dilated, Keith had cringed at the twitching of the taunt ring of muscle. His husband’s body was preparing to give birth through his arse, his entrance wet and slick, loose as he’d already opened Lance slowly with his fingers and tongue. Trying to keep a cool head went out the window, his finger sliding up from Lance’s taint, gathering wetness before he pushed the tip in, a second finger fitting with ease, as his husband let out a long string of Spanish.

Keith just wanted to help in any way possible, even if that meant non-penetrative sex when they were both freaking the fuck out over him being in labour. The pressure baring down on his prostate had his husband stuck in a state of arousal that was only upsetting Lance because he felt he was supposed to be ashamed of being aroused. That he was doing something dirty and wrong by letting himself be touched. Loving Lance’s body had worked far better than words when it came to reassurance. His husband didn’t have to say “he felt like a freak” for Keith to know that every bit of self-consciousness over his current state had reared it’s ugly head. He’d blushed so hard admitting his chest hurt from the pressure build up there, unable to meet Keith’s eyes as he mumbled the confession. He could see the shame and guilt in Lance’s blue eyes, in the way he’d bitten the corner of his lip bloody as he tried to stop himself from whimpering, or groaning, through each contraction. There was no need for Lance to be quiet. Curtis already thought they were banging in the bathroom from the amount of moaning Lance had done during the massage, if Shiro was making those kind of pained noises, the sound akin to what you’d expect from wounded animal slowly dying in a horrific trap, then his brother and his boyfriend were definitely not doing it right. Keith had told him it was safe, Lance still wearing his underwear and the robe he’d been lent, yet Curtis had still thrown the heat pads on to the bathroom counter as he peaked between the fingers covering his eyes. The worst he would have seen was Lance’s bra unclipped at the front, with Keith’s hands on his lower back. Moaning out his name, the wetness between Lance’s legs nearly drowned the sound out with the wet slapping of skin meeting skin. Sweat beads rolled down Keith’s forehead from his damp fringe. It was wonderfully warm, wet and tight between Lance’s thighs, but they’d been going at it for longer than it’d take if they’d had normal sex  
“I’m here, baby. Let it go... let it go”  
Lance shook his head, Keith releasing his left breast to grip Lance’s erection. If he wasn’t exhausted enough for a nap after this, it was going to be a long four hour wait. Pumping him in time with his thrusts, Lance cried out  
“I...I... ugh... Keith!”  
“That’s it, babe. Come for me”  
Lance went boneless as he came down the bathroom counter and Keith’s hand. His scent flooding with relief and giddiness, triggering Keith’s own orgasm. Holding his husband flush up against him, his cum ran in thick pulses down between Lance’s legs. His husband’s full weight in his hold as he milked every drop of cum from him, pressing kisses to his shoulder, Keith babbled out words of praise. Now that he’d finally found release, he hoped his husband’s pains wouldn’t be as severe...

Showering with his husband, Lance was next to useless. His release had left him crying softly, allowing him to let out some of those pent up emotions he couldn’t name. He wanted to help clean himself up, but he was nearly next to useless when it came to even attempting to be coordinated, or anything that didn’t involve on heavily leaning against Keith. Keith didn’t mind. By fussing over his lover he kept his mind busy. By fussing over Lance he was able to push down his panic over their current situation. Things could worse. A tree could easily have fallen on the cabin with how severe the gale outside was howling, but they’d so far been spared. They could have been stranded on some strange planet, but instead they were in the safety of a familiar environment. They could have been alone, but instead they had both Shiro and Curtis to help. They’re comms could have been down, leaving them to face this alone, but they had a line to the outside world. Washing him carefully, Keith made sure to check how wide his husband was now. Lance crying out in shock as he slipped three fingers in to the base with relative ease. His lovers insides were smoother and softer than he remembered them ever being. The way he rippled around him sent his mind straight to the gutter. His instincts were haywire, like a compass over a magnetic field. He wanted to sink his teeth in Lance’s nape and make him cry out, while simultaneously locking him away from the world so he could give birth in peace. He wanted to take Lance from the presence of Shiro and Curtis, despite knowing that was quiznakking stupid. The half-Galra wasn’t sure he’d be able to control his second side if Curtis or Shiro were to touch his husband, not when Lance didn’t want their touch either. Keith wasn’t sure if what he was doing was what he was supposed to be doing, he only knew he wanted to do the right thing by Lance, no matter how things progressed.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses

Cuddling Lance on the sofa, his husband had managed a few hours of fitful sleep. The storm outside had only gained in intensity, he’d jinxed things not long after settling Lance down in their bed, the storm had blown out the glass in one the cabin’s back windows. His husband had screamed, scratching at his arms as he dissolved into Spanish again. Keith was no expert on Spanish, nor did he need to be when Lance tried to escape up the bed begging Klearo to leave him alone. With the pain focused on his lower back, he’d come to the realisation that his husband was terrified that he’d be raped again. Whatever lingering arousal Keith had felt died on the spot. Lance hadn’t had a panic attack where he didn’t recognise him for so long that Keith initially made things worse as he tried to stop him from hurting himself further. Between the sex and mental exhaustion Lance passed out, hyperventilating from fear as he did and leaving Keith to reposition and remake their bed around him. Laying him down with his belly and head across his torso, all he could do then was wait for Lance to wake again. Curtis had come to explain the window incident, then Kosmo had teleported in, growling at his someday brother-in-law until he left.

Now cuddled up on the sofa, Lance was quiet, barely saying anything more than Keith’s name or whimpering softly through each contraction. Across from the sat Shiro and Curtis, with Kosmo sprawled out in front of the extinguished fireplace. They’d lost TV reception, leaving them sitting in an uneasy silence with all eyes on Lance. Keith had no idea how to tell his husband that due to the storm it’d be next to impossible to leave, meaning if his labour continued at the rate it was, Lance would be giving birth here. With so much silence he was releasing that they hadn’t called Miriam to inform her that Lance was in labour. Shiro was relying on the internet to tell him how Lance’s labour was progressing, but that was hardly a medical professional, nor were there a lot of information on those of a male anatomy giving birth, let alone giving birth to twins in the middle of a storm while dealing with PTS and anxiety. Or a nice little online guide called “What to expect when your magical boyfriend goes into labour, and how to avoid being electrocuted on the off chance he loses control of his Altean magic”. Coran would have been the one to call in that circumstance... Both Shiro and Curtis seemed to be praying to be rescues, yet realistically, Keith felt they should be calling Lance’s obstetrician. Someone with actual knowledge on how to help his husband would be nice. Nicer than sitting here and foolishly waiting for a rescue that clearly wasn’t going to be in time.

Clapping his hands, Shiro startled all of them. None more than Lance who tried to climb into his lap at the sound. Glaring at his brother, Shiro ducked his head sheepishly   
“Sorry. I didn’t think that one through. I was thinking getting up and doing something would be better than sitting here”  
Keith rolled his eyes. What were they going to do? There was nothing to do. For a man who preached “patience yields focus”, Shiro seemed to have wasted all his patience coming up with a whole lot of nothing   
“I don’t think Lance is up for doing anything right now”  
His husband really wasn’t. He’d slipped into the mindset that his actions would lead to punishment. Instead of seeing doing something as a way to distract from the monotony of waiting to be “rescued”, Lance was more likely to become paranoid to the point of a panic attack with his actions being watched  
“That’s why he needs a distraction. We could all use a distraction. Lance, buddy, do you think you can get up for me?”  
Lance whined softly, raising his head to search Keith’s face with his confused blue eyes   
“You don’t have to. Not if you’re not up to it. Don’t force yourself, babe”  
“Cuddles?”  
“You’re already having all the cuddles I can give you right now”  
Lance gave a small shake of his head, he opened his mouth then blushed softly as he closed it again. His expression falling as he found he couldn’t find the right words for what he wanted  
“Do you want to try standing with me holding you?”  
Sparking slightly, his husband’s lips turned up in the corners to form a pained smile. Keith wasn’t super at guessing games, but he was quietly proud of himself for figuring out the words Lance couldn’t find  
“Do you want me to hold you like before? Before your water broke?”  
Nodding, he was rewarded with more of a true smile. His heart missing a beat as if he hadn’t seen Lance smiling just for him before  
“Alright, baby. I’ll follow your lead. If it hurts too much, or the pressure is uncomfortable, you just let me know and we can sit down again. Anything you need”  
“... you...”  
Softly mumbling, Lance seemed surprised to hear his own voice. His husband probably thinking it, and expecting his thoughts to slip through unfiltered. Keith couldn’t help but nuzzle into his cheek, so fucking proud of the man he was lucky enough to call his husband.

*  
Dancing to a silent song, Lance kept his face against Keith’s shoulder as the need to push started to flood his secondary instincts. They’d been swaying softly, with Shiro and Curtis keeping their distance as they did. To Keith this might not have been dancing, but Lance felt like the luckiest man in the world to have him by his side. He knew from the scratches on his arms that he’d blanked something out, that the way his head was racing but his tongue felt heavy. Words seemed to come to him as naturally as dragging a boulder back up a hill did, irritating his emotional state and leaving him feeling like a failure for not being able to articulate how messed up he felt. “Red” was the only possible way to describe it all, yet to tell Keith “red” ran the risk of confusing Keith or driving him away, when that was the last thing he wanted. He wanted to stay with his face buried in Keith’s scent forever. Everything was so quiznakking scary, but not Keith. Keith still smelt of bonfires and rich earth. There was panic, just as there was fear, in his husband’s scent, yet through it all Keith had shoved it aside to be what he needed right now, even when Lance didn’t know what that was.

Feeling a second contraction roll through barely a few minutes after the last one, he clutched his belly. He couldn’t stop his labour. Squeezing his legs together and praying to God hadn’t slowed things down either. His body was telling him to push, but he was too fucking scared to. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do any of this. Whatever they’d been thinking, they’d been wrong. He wasn’t strong enough to be a father. He wasn’t strong enough to be strong like his Mami through labour. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be anywhere that wasn’t here at this moment in moment in time. The growing pressure of his son’s head was worse than he’d thought it would ever be. He could handle being shot, stabbed, drugged to the gills and any other number of things, but after close to 20 hours of what he now knew to be labour pains, he was exhausted with the worst still to come. They weren’t medical experts. They didn’t know what they were doing. All of this was as wrong as his body was. Nuzzling his hair, Keith kept the same calm tone that seemed to be frustratingly comforting. He hated seeing Keith panicked or crying, but a little bit of fear out of sympathy would have been nice  
“Breathe, Lance. Keep breathing for me, babe”  
“Ngh...”  
What kind of a noise was that? Why couldn’t he do the words?  
“You’re ok. You’re ok. You’re doing so good for me. Just focus on me...”  
“Pu-d-sh...”  
That was closer, even with the groan of pain in the middle he’d gotten the important letters out. Keith froze, then promptly grabbed him by the shoulder, scaring him as he shook him hard   
“Oh fuck!... I mean... ok... don’t push yet. Shiro! Shiro, it’s time! Shhh... ok... fuck... I’m sorry for yelling... don’t push...”

Knowing he shouldn’t be scared of Shiro didn’t fix things. The moment Shiro came to Keith’s side, he instinctively drew away with a growl at the unwanted scent. Shiro wasn’t his husband. He didn’t want him close to him or the twins, nor was he ok with the man placing his hand on Keith. Baring his teeth his fingers tingled, the sensation cut off by another quizakking contraction  
“Lance, what do you mean you need to push? Do you feel it?”  
Nodding, he wanted the pressure between his legs to end  
“Are you sure?”  
Keith growled at Shiro, Lance momentarily pleased that he wasn’t the only one finding Shiro annoyingly dumb  
“He’s sure. Fuck. This is why I wanted you to call for help sooner. His mother doesn’t know. We don’t know what the fuck we’re doing. You didn’t call his obstetrician. You didn’t call anyone!”  
Shiro removed his hand from Keith’s shoulder, coughing into his balled fist  
“We lost comms...”  
“You did what?! And you didn’t think to tell us!?!”  
“Because it didn’t change anything!”  
“It changes everything! I could have... I could taken Kosmo... we could have...”  
Whimpering at Keith’s anger, his husband softened immediately   
“... fuck, I’m sorry. I know... Ok. Shit... fuck... I guess we’re doing this... don’t push yet... fuck I didn’t want to do this here”  
Keith threw a glare over his shoulder at Shiro. Stepping forward, Curtis was left to take control of things and proving he was the most adult of them all.

“Now isn’t the time for this. We’re all panicked and we’re all scared, but for the sake of the twins and for the sake of Lance’s life we have to work together. Shiro, we need warm water and towels. We’ll need a knife to cut the cords, find the sharpest and cleanest. Keith, get him to your bed and get him settled down. Check how dilated he is. Lance, I know you don’t want us to see or touch you, but we need to help you right now. It’s very important you don’t push too soon. Do you understand me? Wait until Keith has examined you or you could do permanent damage to yourself and your boys”

Lance’s heart gave a funny beat. He didn’t care what happened to him right now. Keith’s boys had to be ok. He couldn’t let his husband down there. Keith had given up so many things for him, had done so many things for him... Everything he had he’d left for his husband, but without their boys... Keith... He had to do everything for them and for his husband. Nodding, he let his husband rearrange them so he could support him through to their room, each step moving the solid mass pressing down, sending indecipherable sensations through his midsection then slowly up to his sludgy brain. The living area was too big, the space too open. So open that it felt like the walls were only expanding further away. There was too much space around him that he couldn’t monitor, not with the doors, the windows, the corridor and fireplace. He felt too exposed, and already knew he couldn’t give birth there... he needed their room. He needed the four solid walls with only two entry points. He needed his bed, their bed, their blankets smothered in Keith’s scent... Dios... Dios this was happening... he could feel their sons head... he could feel it...

*  
Removing the previous blue and red blanket from their bed, Keith laid out the bathrobe that Lance had been wearing under his arse. His husband’s was trying to close his legs, one had attempting to cover his junk while his other covered his face as he cried softly. Naked from head to toe, his husband was beautiful amidst the small army of pillows and cushions propping up. Keith was hesitant to cover him, but they needed to calm him back down if they wanted the birth to go as smoothly as possible. With all their blankets and sheets already on their bed, the only thing he had to cover his husband with was a damp towel. It wasn’t like Lance needed to be naked, but in the movies the mother was always wearing a hospital gown that’d slipped down off her shoulder as she cried and cradled her baby. They didn’t have a hospital gown. They didn’t have the damn hospital that they needed. Below him, Lance clutched his stomach as he brought his legs up, Keith realising his husband was trying to push. Grabbing his hand, he squeezed firmly he shook his head  
“Babe, you can’t push yet. Not yet... I’m sorry... I’m sorry...”  
“Hurrrdts...”  
“I know. I know... Shiro‘ll be here soon”  
“Nuoooo... don’ let... thiuch”  
The slurring of Lance’s words were concerning. Lance was far too sleepy to make real words, but the slurring was giving him a horrible feeling he didn’t need right now. Kissing his already damp forehead, Lance continued to ignore him as he chased the feeling of needing to push, his whole body as tense as the grip on his hand  
“I’m here. I’m here, focus on me”  
“Feeld it...”  
“Ok. Ok, babe. On the next contraction, I need you to let it pass. I need to check between your legs”  
Lance moaned at his suggestion, shaking his head and squeezing his legs together harder   
“Shhh. Just me. Before the others come in. I need to make sure you’re ok, babe. Just me...”  
Lance let out pained moan, whatever was happening was happening soon, whether he liked it or not  
“Jusdt you”  
“Yeah, baby. You’re doing so good. I’m going to take a look now”

Keith wished he hadn’t looked the moment he did. Fine fissures had started forming where his husband had begun trying to push. Blood and fluid dribbling down onto the robe below. His husband’s opening pulsing against the solid form causing the muscle to bulge slightly outward. Their son was definitely coming. Coming into the room behind him, Lance muffled a scream as he slammed his legs closed. Rubbing his hands up and down Lance’s inner thighs, his muscles jumped beneath his touch  
“How’s he progressing?”  
“Uh... he wants to push... I don’t know, Shiro...”  
Lance would only panic to know he was bleeding... was he supposed to be bleeding? Surely there was blood involved in birth... but movies didn’t show you that bit. There was always a nice scene above the blanket so you never had to see what happened down below  
“We’ve got towels and water. I’ll take over. You keep him calm”  
“He doesn’t want anyone looking between his legs”  
“Keith, that’s the least of his worries right now”  
Lance wasn’t thinking straight. Shiro had a much larger form than him. When Curtis bustled past his boyfriend, Lance started trying to escape up the bed again, the weather not helping as the thunder let out a deafening boom. Snarling, Keith’s eyes yellowed as his teeth grew sharp  
“Get out the way, you’re scaring him!”

Placing the bowl of water down on edge of the bedside table, Curtis swept the contents down to the floor before pushing the bowl up and taking the pile of towels off his shoulder. With far too much calm, the man sat next to Lance, moving with deliberately careful actions. First placing a large thick towel over his knees, then the rest beside his hip  
“Lance, I know you’re scared. It’s Curtis. I’m going to take your hand now...”  
Lance let out a sob as Curtis did as he said he would. Interlacing their fingers, he continued to keep eye contact  
“Shiro, come take his other hand. Keith, how long has been this scared?”  
Keith didn’t want to upset Lance further, but neither man seemed to understand that touch wasn’t welcomed  
“He thinks Klearo’s going to drag him off to... to do that to him. He was begging not be touched. He barely allowed me between his legs, then you two hulking morons showed up and scared the fuck out of him all over again. He’s still recovering from his last panic attack... and he’s fucking bleeding. And I don’t know what to do except sit here between his legs because he doesn’t want anyone looking at him down there”

Kneeling on the bed behind him, Shiro wrapped his arms around him  
“He’s going to be alright. He’s strong. He’s strong and he’s going to make it through this labour, and all this is going to fade away when you’re holding your sons for the first time. I know you want to respect him, but the best thing you can do for him is hold his hand and reassure him. Keep his attention on you, and help keep him calm”  
Keith hadn’t realised he’d started crying, overwhelmed by everything going wrong at the moment it needed to be going right. He felt sick to his stomach as well as elated to soon be meeting their boys... The real problem lay with him not being sure he could watch Lance go through this. Watching his husband hurt was to feel a thousand tiny needles digging into his heart, and this birth... he knew for a fact it’d hurt. Lance might not survive the current conditions... they’d come so far... it couldn’t end like this  
“I’m scared”  
The words were mumbled, his scent so full of fear he wasn’t sure how Shiro was stomaching the smell  
“I’m going to do absolutely everything I can for him. While I’m doing this, you need to hold his hand. Tell him how much you love him, keep him focused on something other than the pain. I need you to move for his sake”  
“What if he...”  
“He’s strong. You’re both strong. I’m so very proud of the both of you. No matter what happens that will never change”  
Lance let out a long whine, Curtis hissing as his hand was squeezed  
“Go to him”

*  
Lance’s labour continued the way it had for another half an hour, each molecule of him demanding to push, the pressure between his legs continuing to grow. Nuzzling his forehead, Keith pressed kisses to the spot he nuzzled, encouraging him to let it all out, yet with Shiro between his legs, all Lance felt was embarrassment, though that was quickly passing with the need to push. Digging his heels into the blankets, his legs slipped again, leaving him unable to find purchase as he tried to bare down. They didn’t want him to push, but they had no idea how badly he needed to. He could feel their son. He could feel their baby laying low and pushing against his prostate leaving his limp dick dribbling cum from the over sensitivity. Why wouldn’t they let him push? Why didn’t they understand? He had to... he had to get him out... before he died from the pressure.

Feeling another contraction tearing through his throbbing pelvis, he couldn’t not push. Screaming, he bore down with everything he had, feeling his son pushing against his tearing arse. Between his thighs Shiro rubbed up down the soft skin. He wanted to kick him the face for touching him, and would have if he hadn’t felt his son finally breaching his opening. Falling back against the pillows, he gasped for breath. That people could do this without drugs was some kind of miracle. Panting, he shook his head as something rough pushed near his lips, his glassy eyes seeing Curtis wiping at his face with the corner of a towel. He felt as if he’d missed something, and someone had drained out at least a dozen more pushes worth of energy. Concern is as written all over his friends expression, he wanted to reassure him, but when the next contraction hit, he found himself screaming again, all at once that build of initial pressure lessening, something thicker and wider straining between his legs as something gushed  
“The head is out! He’s... Lance, Lance catch your breath for me... it’s only going to get worse as the shoulders pass”  
Stroking his hair, Keith kissed him again   
“You’re doing so good for me, baby”  
Growling, he wasn’t happy. His words panted from pain. It was amazing how feeling like being torn in two could focus his mind and tongue enough to articulate exactly what he wanted to say  
“I... hope your goddamn dick falls off... Ughnghnnnnnnn!”  
Arching awkwardly sideways, whatever was trying to come out felt stuck... falling back, he already felt drained completely   
“That’s it, let it build up again”  
“Fucking build you up again... Fuuuuuuck!”  
He was definitely tearing, wetness had soaked his arse and up his back. He wanted his Mami  
“That’s it, Lance! I want you to push with everything you have on the next big contraction”  
No. He’d obviously been half-arsing it the whole time! Trying to push down, his foot slipped a sob escaping as he shook his head  
“Fuu-uh... I can’t... I can’t... I can’t...”  
He wanted to go home and try again at a later date... anything to stop the pain  
“Curtis, Keith, lift his legs. He can’t get a grip to push...”

Grabbed and pulled slightly down the bed, Keith and Curtis pushed against his legs as he wailed, his son’s shoulders sliding millimetre by millimetre. He seemed to have been pushing even longer in this position. The pressure threatening to kill him turned to perhaps delirium as something was turned between his legs by Shiro’s wet hands, pushing without prompting, all he wanted to do was see his baby boy now... Lowering his legs, Lance peered up as Keith rubbed down his cramping calf. Everything below his waist felt like jelly. Painful jelly that’s been through a meat grinder  
“He’s here... oh god... he’s so slimy...”  
Of course he was slimy! He was covered in birth! Oh, babe... Oh... wow...”  
Choking on a sob, he then sniffled out  
“Give... give me... my baby... want my baby...”  
On his left Curtis moved, releasing his hand as Shiro leaned over him, supporting his son’s head. No wonder Keith was gushing. They’d made this whole little person  
“He’s here... oh, Lance... He’s beautiful. Congratulations, you two””

Laying the newborn on the towel on his chest, Lance nearly went cross eyed as he gazed his son. He was slimy, gross, wrinkly and covered in birth, but absolutely gorgeous. Letting out an unhappy cry, Lance started laughing as he whimpered, the sound twisted but he was so incredibly in awe of the warm little boy on his chest, his free left pointer finger in his son’s hand, tiny fingers too small to be real wrapped loosely around it. He was incredible. He’d never... He’d kill anyone who hurt his precious boy... Dios... he loved him with everything he had  
“My Laith... my little lion...”  
Kissing his hair, Curtis started to wipe his son’s face with the very edge of a damp towel. Between his legs Lance could still feel his body trying to push everything inside of him out. His heart was racing, his head and throat hurt, he felt kind of nauseated, and he couldn’t be prouder... Softly Keith asked  
“Laith?”  
He hadn’t told Keith the name he’d chosen. His husband tilting his head slightly as he summoned up his courage to reach out and rest his hand on their little boy’s back. His little lion. His brave little boy for which nothing wouldn’t be possible  
“Mmm, Laith... His name is Laith... my little lion. Is that ok?”

Lance’s eyes stayed on their son, Keith’s hand seemed so large against their son. His hands were the hands of a man who’d fought for absolutely everything in his life. They could take a life in a matter of moments, yet Lance was certain he’d never been so gentle with his touch as he was now  
“Laith... It’s weird, but I like it. It’s better than Yorak... I can’t believe how small he is. Do we cut the cord? Have you cut the cord? I don’t know what to do”  
Shiro laughed at his little brother, Keith huffing without bite too proud of his new son  
“Well, Daddy Keith. I’ve tied it off, ready for when you are”  
“Let’s never call me “Daddy Keith” again... babe?”  
Giving Keith a tired smile, Lance nodded. He wanted to nap for a year after Laith, he hadn’t even pushed the other one out yet  
“Go on... You deserve it... I feel like I spent the last hour crushing your hand”  
Shiro wiped at his brow, Curtis had tied the cord off at some point, most probably when Lance’s attention was on Keith, or Laith, not that he had much attention left  
“You were pushing for the best part of an hour, I was afraid when his shoulder seemed to get stuck that we were in trouble. You did a good job, Lance. Keith, if you’d like to do the honours”

Watching Keith cut the cord was something that Lance prayed he’d never forget, his husband hesitant as the blade sliced through, then swayed for a moment before looking impossibly prouder. With his contractions still continuing, his son was lifted off of him by Shiro, Lance whining at the action. He wanted his boy... he wanted to hold him close and never let him go, though he knew it’d be better to clean him before the birth dried to his delicate skin  
“Keith, why don’t you keep an eye on things while we clean Laith up. According to website it can take half an hour for his brother to be born”  
Lance wasn’t so sure about that. Not when he could feel their second son moving slowly downwards. Pulling himself together, his husband kissed his dry lips, his hand brushing back the hair stuck to Lance’s forehead  
“I’m so fucking proud of you... I love you. I love you so fucking much...”  
“Mmm... ‘ love you, too...”

Laith’s brother didn’t get the message to wait. Clutching the sheets in agony as his son pushed against his torn and bleeding opening, Lance tasted blood as he pushed down   
“Shiro!”  
Yelling his brother’s name, Shiro looked to Keith from where he and Curtis were fussing over Laith  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I think... god... he’s bleeding so much... babe, babe stay with me...”  
Shaking his head, his eyes nearly rolled back as his son’s head slowly began to breach him. Curtis rushed to his side, taking his hand as Lance screamed through his contraction. Shiro strode to the side of the bed, half kneeling as he offered Keith his first born  
“Keith, take Laith”  
“No! No... no... please...”  
Objecting, he knew his husband was forced into a situation he didn’t want to be in, but he was scared not to have someone there. Scared his son wouldn’t be born properly if he wasn’t being watched. Cupping his chin, Curtis forced him to look up at him  
“Lance, keep breathing. Stay focused on me... when you feel that next big contraction, I want you to push”  
“Hurts...”  
“I know. I know, but you’ve done all the hard work. Just a little bit more...”  
“I’m sleepy...”  
The three of them shouted “no” at him at the same time, Curtis hushing him as he whimpered  
“You can sleep after this. I promise. I’ll buy you anything you want, you just need to be stronger a little longer”  
Lance was sure even if he passed out, his baby would still be born without him pushing... but he didn’t want to miss meeting him  
“It’s... so hard”  
“You’re doing so well... now, you’ve this. You can do this. I believe in you”

*  
There was so much blood. Keith grateful that the storm outside left the night pitch black, the light in the room seemed swallowed by the shadows. Lance was torn, badly torn down his taint and in small fissures across his opening. The half-Galra felt sick from the levels of pain his husband must be in. That Lance had birthed Laith was incredible. His son was so much tinier than Korra had been when he’d met her. He didn’t know they came that small... Sucking in a breath, Lance sobbed as he bore down, Keith nearly fainting as he watched his son’s head slowly push Lance further open until his husband fell back against the blankets, the fear turning to excitement as he realised that their son was actually coming out of his husband... their son... their second son was nearly here...  
“That’s it, babe! One more big push for me...!”  
Huffing through his breathing, Lance gathered his strength, feet slipping slightly as he stretched further  
“That’s it, babe! That’s it! Come on, Lance!”  
Howling, their son’s head finally passed through Lance’s opening  
“His head‘s clear! Babe, babe, see...”

Reaching over, he pulled Lance’s hand away from the blankets he was clutching, placing it down between Lance’s legs. His husband was fading fast, he needed to birth their son as soon as possible. Placing his fingers against their boy’s head, Lance’s tired eyes widened  
“My... baby...”  
Keith nodded quickly, he needed to sound encouraging. He needed to keep Lance awake and focused. He’d lost so much blood... beneath him looked like a crime scene  
“See, babe. You’ve got this. He’s nearly here”  
“My baby...”  
“Yeah, babe. Come on. I need you to push for me. You can do it, I know you can do it!”  
Lance grabbed his hand, Keith interlacing their fingers to their hands were palm to palm. Catching his breath, Lance pushed against his palm as Keith pushed back, his husband letting out a strangled cry as he pushed hard. Unlike his big brother, their son’s shoulders slid through in the one push. In his hurry Keith let go of Lance’s hand, taking their son into his hold as he slid forward, he hadn’t expected him to pretty much slide from his husband the way he did. Keith finding his hands filled with his son, an amazed cry escaping his lips, he wasn’t able to keep his eyes off him. Leaning over, Shiro wiped at the little boys face, breaking the spell. Exhausted, Lance was staring down at him with a wet face  
“He’s perfect...”  
“Lance still needs to deliver the placenta. Curtis, you take Laith, Keith, why don’t you introduce Lance to your second baby boy”  
“Cord?”  
Shiro snorted softly  
“Let your husband meet your son”

With goopy hands, Keith crawled up this bed on his knees, placing their little boy on his husband’s chest. Lance looked beautiful. Sweaty, exhausted, bloody and so fucking beautiful. Kissing his husband’s lips, he didn’t know he could be this quiznakking happy. Preoccupied, Curtis laid a swaddled Laith against Lance’s side. Curtis taking up cleaning their boys face. Keith wasn’t sure what the deal with wiping his nose off was, but he’d done the same thing with Laith  
“Is he...?”  
Keith was instantly worried he’d done something wrong   
“He’s breathing. You need to clear the nose and mouth so he can”  
Ohhh. That made sense. Sighing at him, Lance licked his lips, voice raspy as he then asked  
“Name?”  
“Hunter. His name’s Hunter”  
“Hun... ter?”  
It was Keith’s turn to look flushed. He wasn’t great at names. He’d had so many ideas in his head, yet all of them were wrong... but “Hunter”... That was all Lance’s fault  
“Yeah, baby. You know... You’re our sharp shooter... and I’m “samurai”... now we’ve got our little lion cub... and Hunter... After all, I hunted you down and finally made you mine”  
Lance let out a sleepy kind of snort, his lover had to be more asleep than awake at that stage   
“Hunter... I like it... our little lion Laith and our little Hunter”  
“Yeah, babe. You did so good”

Clearing his throat, Shiro interrupted them  
“Would you like to cut the second cord?”  
Lance said everything in the look he gave him, Keith nodding   
“We want you two to. They’re your God sons... You guys... are our family...”  
“Lance?”  
Lance nodded at Shiro. Keith settling down beside his husband, not caring about how weird his fingers felt now they were drying. None of that mattered to him in the slightest. His heart was pounding, his secondary instincts pushing their own pride into his mind, and despite not doing any actual work, Keith felt exhausted to his bones. As Shiro held Hunter, Curtis cut through the cord, both extremely proud uncles, while Keith was simply glad he couldn’t see what the cord was connected to. Sharing a moment, Curtis kissed Shiro’s cheek, instantly smitten by both baby boys. As Curtis took Hunter, Shiro grabbed the last two spare towels, immediately moving back between Lance’s legs. His husband immediately growing distressed as his shaking legs were spread further apart. Limply his husband tried to move his hand to Laith, but didn’t have the strength to. Kissing his hair, fear came waltzing back into heart, part of him thankful that Lance now seemed to out of it to question what was happening.

“Shiro, how bad is it?”  
“He’s bleeding badly. I think he’s slipped into shock from the blood loss...”  
The feeling of elation Shiro and Curtis had to have felt as they cut the cord of their second God son had passed. Shiro tense as his hands continued to move between Lance’s legs  
“... Curtis, I need a clotting agent. Check the first aid kit, whatever you’ve got, bring it. See if you can reach the Garrison, tell them we have a life or death situation and need an urgent evac. We need to get this bleeding under control. Keith, make sure he doesn’t move. If he moves too much he’s going to bleed out from the tearing. We’re lucky he passed both the placentas, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a chance of tissue remaining. Give Hunter to Keith, I need that first aid kit”  
Snapping the last instruction at his boyfriend, Curtis did as directed, Hunter, like Laith, swaddled in a towel as he was placed in Keith’s lap, then he was gone from the room, running as he went. Hopelessness was kicking in. He’d seen how badly Lance had torn, and the sheer amount of blood had him woozy despite sitting. Slumped into his side, Lance was barely breathing. They had two perfect boys, but he couldn’t stop to enjoy that knowledge with Lance in such a dangerous condition. If his husband was to stop breathing...   
“Hey! Keep it together. He needs you to keep it together!”  
Keith jolted. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do... It showed in his watery eyes  
“Talk to him. Anything, try and keep him conscious”

Shaking Lance’s shoulder, Lance groaned weakly at him. His husband deserved to rest, but Shiro said not to let him   
“I know, babe. I know, you did so good for me. I need you to stay awake, ok. I need you awake. Hunter and Laith need you to stay awake for them. Your baby boys. Think how proud Mami is going to be. They look like you. Like their daddy... I didn’t know how slimy they were going to be. You know, they don’t show that bit in the movie, when they’re all goopy. And they’re so tiny... they need their dad... we all need you...”  
Keith felt Lance trying to shift, not that he could, his husband weakly mumbling   
“... wanna... hold... my baby...”  
“They’re right here, Laith and Hunter are right here...”  
“My baby...”  
Laith was between the crook of Lance’s right arm and his chest, Hunter in his lap. Letting go of his husband, Keith moved their tiny boy up so Lance could see him. His husband smiling the tick he did  
“Baby...”  
“Hunter. He’s got your hair...”  
At least Keith thought he did. He was all wrinkly, but he had soft wispy hair with tiny little fingers. Their baby boy hadn’t opened his eyes yet, nor had he lodged a protest over being born like his big brother had  
“Hold him?”  
“We’ll hold him, together. Laith is sleeping by your side. He’s like his daddy, he’s grumpy when he’s sleepy”  
“‘m sleepy”  
“I know, babe. I know...”  
He’d been saying that a lot tonight. He didn’t know what else to say to reassure him other than agreeing   
“Where did you come up with Laith’s name? I haven’t heard it before”  
“Baby book...”  
“And here I thought I’d read that more than you”  
“Nooo...”

“I’m back!”  
Curtis didn’t need the theatrics to announce his return. His hands full as he rushed over to Shiro, grabbing something he untangled it as he moved to the bed head  
“I found this in what Pidge and Coran left. Kosmo didn’t touch it, probably because it isn’t food. I didn’t think to check them before now”  
Keith could have kissed Coran right on the lips as Curtis set the IV line. Coran always fussed over Lance, considering his every possible need, their bond tighter than those of blood  
“Let me get this set up. I heard Shiro telling you to keep him conscious, I thought you should call your parents now that our comms are back up”  
Lance softy asked  
“Mami?”  
“Yeah, baby. We’re going to call Mami”  
“Want Mami...”  
“I know, sweetheart. You’ll see her as soon as the storm dies down”  
“Wanted her for weeks...”  
Fuck... if Lance had told him, Curtis could have picked her up. Keith knew he’d break the law for the pair of them, and there was enough space in front of the cabin to land a pod  
“Oh, baby... I know she’s wanted to see you too. She’s going to be so proud. Curtis is going to hold the comms so we can cuddled our boys, Little Hunter and Little Laith. You just have to stay awake for me a little longer”  
His husband whines at him softly, it really wasn’t fair that he wasn’t allowed to rest after the extraordinary effort birthing their boys had taken  
“I think I wet myself...”  
Lance mumbled sadly, Keith didn’t want to say he was pretty sure he had during labour too  
“That’s ok. We’ll get you all cleaned up while we’re talking to Mami”

With an extra set of hands, Curtis moved Laith up onto Lance’s chest and placed his hand on their boys back. The cannula run into Lance’s hand rather than his elbow most probably so that he’d be able to cuddle this boys with the best of his current ability. Video calling Miriam, the Cuban woman was obviously in bed when her comms rang. Behind her Jorge was snoring soundly  
“Keith! What’s wrong?! It’s the middle of the night?”  
Smiling tiredly at Miriam, Keith could understand and sympathise over his mother-in-law’s worry  
“We have someone you need to meet”  
Curtis panned the comms down, Miriam letting out a soft gasp at the pair of them with their boys. From behind the comms Curtis supplied   
“Lance went into labour earlier today. We’re at the cabin, Shiro’s tending to him”  
“Oh, Mijos... oh, they’re so precious! Oh, Lance... Jorge, wake up! It’s Lance!”  
Keith let a soft laugh escape as Miriam elbows Jorge, Jorge letting out a loud snore before jolting  
“Who? What?”  
“Lance”  
The poor man had been sound asleep  
“Who?”  
“It’s your son, Lance! He’s given birth”

Sitting up behind her, Jorge rubbed at his face, squinting at the screen. Keith hoped he was showing all right emotions and not making them worry any more than needed to be  
“What’s that?”  
“Your grandsons. Honestly, Lord give me strength. Keith, how is Lance? He looks exhausted”  
“He is. He wanted to see you. You’re... you’re the first person outside of the four of to see them... Um... This is Laith, and this one is Hunter... We couldn’t call earlier. The storm knocked our comms out... but... we’re taking care of Lance. Curtis set up an IV and Shiro is cleaning him up. Um... oh, Laith was born first... the Hunter, obviously, about...”  
Thankfully Shiro had some idea   
“Thirty five minutes by the time you delivered him. Sorry, Miriam, I’m taking care of Lance’s... uh...”  
“He’s cleaning Lance up still”  
Miriam’s eyes seemed to be more on the twins than Lance. Lance was smiling softly at his boys, a little cross eyed as he did  
“He gave birth at the cabin... How is that possible?”  
Keith didn’t want to scare her with the details  
“For a lack of a more decent term the same way he go pregnant”  
His mother-in-law winced, Jorge shifted uncomfortably when he must have figured out what that meant. The man looked ready to faint and he hadn’t even been there for birth  
“My poor sweet boy... Oh, my poor baby...”  
“‘m ok, Mami... wanted you to see them”  
“They’re beautiful, Mijo. How do you feel?”  
“Fucking sore”  
Miriam laughed, as did the three of them in the room. It was the loudest Lance had spoken since giving birth   
“I’m sure you are. Are they everything you thought they’d be?”  
“More... Mami... they’re so perfect”  
“They are, mijo. They are. Keith, how are you?”  
Why was she asking him that?  
“I’m fine?”  
“About your boys, my dear”  
Keith ducked his head. The twins. Right  
“They’re amazing... Lance was amazing... They, uh, don’t really show how squishy birth is...”  
Miriam covered her mouth as she laughed   
“No, they don’t. Have you tied and the cut the cords?”  
Keith beamed as his gaze landed on Laith. He needed more arms. He wanted to cuddle Lance, and their two boys all the same time   
“He cut Laith’s, then Shiro and I cut Hunter’s”  
“And Lance passed the placentas?”  
“He has! He’d badly torn... I’m just about to spray an antibiotic over the wounds, I’ve applied an anticoagulant, but he’s lost a lot of blood”  
Lance nearly jumped out his skin as Shiro sprayed between his legs, Keith cringing in sympathy, Miriam letting out a sympathetic hush as she fussed  
“I can only imagine. Oh, look at them, Jorge. Hunter and Laith... I need to write this down... Jorge, write this down. Our baby’s had his babies... No trouble with either of them?”  
Keith was mildly miffed that Miriam would insinuate that there was anything possibly wrong or troubling with their boys, scowling at the woman, he snuggled closer to his perfect little boys   
“Laith screamed after he was born. Hunter hasn’t...”  
Climbing out from between Lance’s legs, Shiro walked over to rinse his hands in the basin of water Curtis had brought in before the birth. Wrinkling his nose, his adoptive brother found the water dirtied   
“Keith, I think she wanted to know if there were any complications. There haven’t been, Miriam, not with the boys. We’ll be having Lance transferred to the Garrison’s infirmary centre once the storm lets up. Are you able to get lift over here, or should I send someone to pick you up?”  
“I’ll go, Taka. Once Lance is in their care, I’ll take a pod and pick Miriam up. Sorry, Miriam, Keith needs to tell Krolia now. I suppose I don’t need to ask you keep this a secret a little longer”  
“Gracious, Curtis. There’s no need to ask, my lips are sealed”  
Jorge chuckled, yeah... there was no way Miriam wouldn’t off this call then straight onto Marco, Veronica, Rachel and Luis  
“Mami... call Coran... wanna tell Coran to...”  
Miriam laughed, Lance hadn’t been supplying much to the conversation, but he was having his way no matter what he asked. His husband deserved it for giving his all  
“I’ll call him right away, sweetheart. Now you get you some rest. Oooooh! I can’t wait to meet them. Jorge, get up. We have to get ready...”

Curtis hung up before Miriam finished bossing Jorge into action, Lance letting out a kind of breathy laugh before then yawning. Without the distraction of the call, Keith didn’t know what came next   
“Shiro, do you think we can get someone out today?”  
“Not tonight. Not until this storm lifts. I need a moment... I’ve done what I can. We don’t have anything overly suitable for the damage. What do you want to do with the after birth?”  
Wrinkling his nose, Keith didn’t want it... Did normal people not throw it out or burn it? Coming to his boyfriend’s side, Shiro sank into his offered embrace   
“We’ll wrap and freeze the placentas, that way Lance has the choice when he’s awake enough to be making choices. You’ve done everything you can for him, Taka... You did good tonight. Do you want me to come with you?”  
Shiro... fuck... he hadn’t thought of how this would affect his brother. He’d been so strong for it all, but he had to be scared for Lance. Exhausted over what had happened, and as emotionally drained as he was physically. That much blood had to bringing back all sorts of memories and emotions, that and his brother would feeling Lance’s pain, taking on the mantle of some burden he shouldn’t   
“You two go, I’m not going anywhere. Thank you... Thank you so much... I... we couldn’t have done this without you... I was scared out of my mind, but because of you... we have our beautiful boys”  
He wanted to throw his arms around his brother and never let him go. What Shiro had done for them. No, what Shiro and Curtis had done for the four of them, he had no words to express his gratitude. When Shiro opened his mouth, he was hushed by Curtis. Curtis got it. It wasn’t something that needed to be put into words. They all felt it, and now the worst had passed it was time to rest. If Shiro was leaving Lance’s side, it was finally safe for his husband to sleep, that didn’t mean his condition wouldn’t be closely monitored, nor that Lance or their twins would be neglected even for a tick. It was simply time to heal after the high risk situation that the birth had been.

When Curtis and Shiro returned they both worked silently to clean everything up. The twins were removed from their holds so Keith could lift Lance while Curtis changed their the towel and sheets beneath him. The fact he was naked was nothing sexual to any of them. Lance was simply... simply a father who’d given birth. Their boys returned to him so both he and Shiro had free hands. Having taken a break and cleared their minds, Curtis took over the medical side of things once Lance was settled back down onto two folded bathrobes, and tucked safely up under his abuela’s red and blue blanket. Now knowing that they’d been left medical supplies, Curtis seemed at ease as he injected something into Lance’s IV line. Had his husband been awake, he would have objected. For his own sake he needed to remain calm, and dulled to the pain below his waist. Having forgot to call his mother, Keith pushed the responsibility onto Shiro. He didn’t feel up to talking to her, afraid he’d snap at her if she was to say the wrong thing by accident. Words weren’t his strength at the best of times, and though the birth of his boys might just the very best of times, it was best to play it safe.

When Shiro got off the call, his brother sank down to sit next to him. His head dropping onto his shoulder, wet hair dripping down his shoulder and soaking into his shirt, at the two sleeping babes in his arms. He’d hoped to wash his hands, but that went out the window when his boys came back into his hold  
“You did good Keith”  
“Lance did good...”  
“No, I’m proud of you, kiddo. What’s it like being a father?”  
“I’m exhausted already?”  
Shiro kissed his shoulder as Curtis carefully settled himself down by Lance. The bed wasn’t made for the four of them, let alone the six  
“If they’re anything like their parents, there’ll be more than one sleepless night ahead for the both of you”  
“Don’t ruin it for me. They’re perfect”  
Tiny bowed lips. Tightly scrunched eyes. Thin almost non-existent hair. Chubby cheeks and puppy fat. It all came together to make something so incredibly precious that would some how grow to be a whole person of their own  
“They are. I never imagined you chose a name like “Hunter””

“Hunter” had been kicking around in the back of his mind. Naming his son was a huge deal. He didn’t want to pick the wrong name. He hadn’t been able to name Kosmo, despite the two years they’d spent together. To give something a name... He didn’t want to grow attach only to lose them. It hadn’t been his first choice. At first he’d wondered if he should name his baby boy “Yorak”, as his mother had wished to name him, but he wasn’t his mother. Naming their son after Shiro hadn’t felt right either. Shiro was Shiro. His son was free to be whoever he wanted to be. Then Lance had teased him, he’d called him “Samurai”. Naturally he wouldn’t name his son “Samurai” any more than he’d name him “Sharpshooter”, so when he'd tried to grasp the right name along those lines of familiar teasing, he’d been surprised that Hunter has stuck  
“I never imagined I would either. Lance wanted to meet our boys before we named them, then he went and blurted out “Laith”... He didn’t tell me. Did... is Hunter a good name?”  
“It’s a strong name. He’s strong like his daddies”  
“And Laith?”  
“There’s nothing wrong the names you both chose. We can take both you idiots out of space, but at the end of the day, you’re both idiots”  
Keith’s thin lips turned downwards at the edges  
“Does that mean we chose stupid names? I don’t want my son to have a stupid name”  
“Keith, you didn’t chose stupid names. You chose names that both had some level of nostalgic meaning for both of you. Coran may be slightly upset his name didn’t make the cut, but that’s between you guys and him. How could any one possibly be mad once they set eyes on your boys?”  
With everything that happened, Keith was too tired to pretend he could keep up. The half-Galra too full of pride over his sons to have an in-depth conversation. Perhaps Shiro sensed this  
“For now, we all need to get some rest. I’ll take first watch”  
“No. No, I want to watch him... I want to watch them... it feels so surreal as I’m waiting to wake up”  
“Remember that the first time you change a nappy. Wake me up in a couple of hours, or when the Garrison gets here. I know you want to protect them, but you’ll be no good to Lance if you don’t let yourself rest when you have the chance”

Keith knew Shiro was right, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to let his brother sleep as long as possible. He was a father now, he had to step up and be everything that his small family needed, no matter how that may weigh on him. Smiling proudly at his sons, it finally felt like their family was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I may have taken a few small liberties. Remember, Lance’s body is predominantly male so it hurt like all quiznak... our boy is gonna need a lot of rest and time before he bounces back... but I do promise you he and the twins survive.
> 
> Also, I actually really love the name Laith. I think it’s cute as hell.


	55. Chapter 55

Help came in the form of Pidge. The storm had barely let up as the eye passed over the forest, yet without permission from the garrison she’d stolen a pod from under their noses, then “kidnapped” one of the doctors off the base. Miriam had called Coran, Coran calling Pidge, upset that help hadn’t been sent to assist them sooner, Pidge flipping the Garrison the bird and taking things into her own hands. Landing the small pod in front of the cabin, both Pidge and the “procured” doctor soaked to the bone in the short run from the pod to the cabin door. Awoken by a barking Kosmo, Shiro armed himself with the lamp from the beside table, nearly taking Pidge’s head off swinging his improvised as she came crashing into the room. The lamp shattering against the doorframe, waking both twins with the sound of it. Lance still out cold to the world, Keith and Curtis had let Shiro sleep. Curtis faking sleep until his boyfriend had settled, then admitted he was too worried to sleep. He wouldn’t be able to rest until Lance woke, until he was safely settled in the care of medical professionals. Trapped between Lance and Shiro, Curtis had helped him wash his hands finally free of the traces of birth. He monitors Lance’s temperature and heart rate, as well as checking the bleeding between his legs. As far as both of them were concerned, Pidge had arrived at the best possible time. A flurry of activity had followed. Pidge was accepted by Kosmo, the doctor she’d brought with her was not. Kosmo didn’t appreciate her gentle hands on Lance’s naked form, nor the way she was questioning Keith over the birth and Lance’s subsequent condition. Shiro’s job went from sheepishly picking up shards of broken lamp to wrangling an angry Kosmo away from the bed. The twins were crying, Keith was yelling, Curtis was worrying, Pidge was hovering and the poor doctor was trying to keep Lance alive. It was a flurry of excitement Keith’s poor heart didn’t need.

*  
Seated in the waiting area of the Garrison’s infirmary wing, Shiro’s eyes remained on his little brother. Keith wasn’t handling this well. His brother had gone from pacing to yelling, back to pacing and brushing off any form of comfort offered. As they twins were taken one way and Lance rushed off the other. Lance hadn’t woken, yet had thrown a seizure when being moved. His brother was melting down as his happiness crumbled, blaming himself entirely for the situation when Shiro was to blame. He shouldn’t have allowed them to stay at the cabin. He knew the storm was forecast. He knew they’d issues alert warning of the high winds and wild weather. He’d made the wrong decision, possibly costing Lance his life. Kissing his hair, Curtis was his strength. Keith’s rejection of his attempts to calm him had hurt. His brother wasn’t the only one scared by the situation. Lance may be Keith’s husband, but that didn’t give him the exclusive right to worry... or to take a swing at him as he yelled that “he could never understand”. No. He couldn’t understand how it felt to lose a husband, instead he simply knew how it felt to lose an ex-fiancé without ever reconciling.

Coran had barely stepped foot on the base before he was taken by Pidge to collect Miriam. Shiro’s suspicion was that she’d been deeply shaken over the events of the night, and as point of distraction she was doing absolutely everything she could to avoid sitting still. Lance had built up so many walls, placed so much distance between him and all of them, never wanted to seem less than perfect before them, was in a critical condition. In surgery, tucked away in some back operating news while they all sat and waited. There hadn’t been news of the twins either. Shiro wanted to ask. He wanted to stand up, storm out and demand answers. The very thing he’s banned Keith from doing. Since Pidge has returned with Miriam and Jorge, Keith had finally allowed himself to be comforted. Getting up left him afraid he’d disturb his brother, or fill his head with thoughts over what could be happening with the twins. No. Keith had stumbled into Miriam’s arms, clutched her right and broken down against her. They were now sitting on the opposite side of the space. Jorge was wringing his hands. Coran was pacing. Pidge was on her comms, Krolia scheduled to arrive within the half hour. Aside from calling Coran, Miriam had reached out to Lance’s team. They’d be coming the following day, once the storm had lessened, though the main reason was that they didn’t want to overwhelm Lance. 

“Taka, he’s going to be ok”  
Squeezing his hand softly, Curtis’s soft words meant the world to him. His boyfriend was giving him the space and permission to let himself be honest with his fears   
“We don’t know that for sure. We’ve been waiting for hours”  
“Would you like me to go ask?”  
“I don’t want Keith to worry”  
“We’re all worried. Lance is strong. He’s in good hands”  
That was true. Though Shiro couldn’t currently recall the name of the female doctor who Pidge had brought with her to the cabin off the top of his head, he knew she had to have served under him. All medical staff did on a three month rotation to train them in off-world emergency procedures  
“There was so much blood”  
“And you did absolutely everything you could. I was proud of you today. I am proud of you everyday, but I think I might just have fallen in love with you all over again”  
“I wasn’t the one doing the hard work... I was... I was jealous when I first learned of his pregnancy. Seeing that... seeing the pain he went through...”  
“To birth two beautiful and healthy boys. Don’t forget the good because of the bad. I know you’re in love with them”  
“Only as much as you are”

To hold the soft warm life that went from simply being a baby boy to Laith... To deliver him into his hold. The elation he’d felt to see the little boy in person. Curtis was as proud as he was. Their God sons were a miracle made flesh.

“I’ve never seen something that incredible”  
Curtis and Lance’s relationship had crossed into something akin to what he had Keith. Curtis would do absolutely everything for Lance. They were able to communicate in a way that’d taken Shiro months to achieve   
“It was pretty amazing. They turned from two lives inside of Lance into two people. I wonder what their features will settle into”  
“They look more like Keith. Lance will be happy about that”  
A mini-Keith was Lance’s hope. Lance had made it clear that he’d hoped his sons looked like his father, disregarding his own fair looks  
“I thought Laith looked a lot like Lance. They’ve got the same lips”  
Curtis hummed softly  
“We’ll have to wait until we see them again”

It was another hour long wait before nurse entered the waiting room. Shiro dosing lightly despite the anxiety and worry balled up in the base of his stomach. Checking the holopad in his hands, the man cleared his throat   
“Keith. You may come through now”  
Rousing them from their thoughts, Miriam talked on behalf of the group  
“How is he? How is my son?”  
“He came through surgery. We’ll be monitoring him closely over the next 48 hours. He’s awake, but very groggy. Visitation is currently limited to family. Keith was first request when informed”  
Keith’s expression was one of guilt as he shifted to gave up at Miriam’s face   
“Maybe you should...”  
“Mijo, he asked for you”  
“Isn’t there some way...?”  
The question was posed to Miriam, though the nurse was the one to answer  
“I’m sorry, family only”  
“They are his family. Everyone in this room is his family”  
Shiro’s heart swelled with love as Miriam cooly rejected the man’s words, the man stammering  
“I... uh...”  
Beside him, Curtis spoke up   
“We’ll accompany Keith to Lance, then wait outside until you’ve filled him in on Lance’s condition”  
Everyone in the room wanted to enquire over the health of Hunter and Laith, yet if something was wrong Keith deserved to be the first to know. Patting Keith’s hand, Miriam smiled at him  
“We are all with you, Mijo. Anything you and Lance need. Isn’t that right, Jorge?”  
Jorge who still looked incredibly out of place and uncomfortable nodded. Not giving a verbal reply. Shiro sympathised with what the man must be going through. Lance was his son, his baby boy. He’d not only given birth, but was now in a critical condition. Being a farmer, Shiro assumed he was no stranger to a farm yard birth. The man must be horrified overlaying that experience with the images of his son  
“It is quite early in the morning. I cannot allow you all access, and I must insist you refrain from unnecessarily loud conversation. Lance needs his rest”  
Miriam nodded, gather Keith up against her as she stood  
“We understand. Keith, we’re going to see Lance now, Mijo. Once we see Lance, we can visit those beautiful boys of yours”  
With Keith being in a visible state of anxiety, they all felt the need to be there with him. Especially seeing Krolia hadn’t made an appearance yet.

*  
Keith’s heart was in his throat. He was scared to death of what was waiting inside the hospital room that his husband was laying in. He’d noticed the way the nurse hadn’t mentioned the twins. He hadn’t mentioned how the surgery went, or how Lance was doing mentally. He’d told him he could see him, because Lance had asked for him... but what if it was bad news? Clinging to Miriam as if he was child, her presence offered a maternal comfort as she held him tightly. He was ashamed for needing comfort, and for not being strong enough to wait silently. Reaching Lance’s room in a daze, he found he couldn’t lift his hand to open the door. His precious husband was right in there, yet his anxieties felt as if they’d suddenly multiplied exponentially   
“Keith, would you like me to come with you?”  
The nurse seemed ready to object. Keith wanted to assure his mother-in-law that he would fine on his own, but that... that stupid voice in his head telling him they twins were gone and Lance was going to die, refused fo shut it’s stupid mouth   
“Please?”  
“Of course, my dear. Are you ready?”  
No. No, he wasn’t ready in the slightest  
“Yes”

Keith wanted to cry at the sight before him. Miriam still held him, as they both stared at Lance. To the left side of his bed were two portable plastic cribs, their sons reswaddled in soft blue blankets. Lance was half propped up in bed, his hand resting on the lip of the closest crib, drugged up and unfocused eyes full of love as he stared at their boys  
“Mijo...”  
Looking from their boys to them, Lance’s smile remained on his lips. His husband must be on some amazing pain medication to be smiling like that after all he’d been through. On the right side of the bed two drip bags hung from the rack, one of blood and one of saline. Lance’s stats displayed on the small machine down and to the left of the rack. Completing the look was the Nasal cannula connecting to the wall behind the bed  
“He lost a lot of blood post surgery, the tearing severe and will require a follow up operation, possibly a second or a third depending on the results. We’ve administer blockers, so he should feel no pain beneath the waist. Honestly, he shouldn’t be awake, yet he’d barely been moved to recovery before regaining consciousness. We must ask that you refrain from sitting on the side of the bed or moving him. You may hold his hand, but no bending or stretching at the moment. Your twins are both remarkably healthy, hitting the statistics we are more likely to see from full term birth information. Hunter has a small triangular birthmark beneath his right armpit. Laith shows no evident birthmarks. We’ve taken blood samples for genetic coding. We’ve administered an anti-convulsive, and he is on pain relief”

To Keith that didn’t sound terrible. What he took from the nurses explanation was that his husband was going to be okay with them, and their precious boys suffered no ill effects from the birth. His secondary instincts were struggling with Lance being in hospital again, yet the way they were nudging at his mind wasn’t completely unpleasant. His anger hadn’t flared, nor had his petty jealousy, maybe because their boys and Lance were all right there in front of them   
“You may sit with him for now. Please try not to over excite him”  
Miriam drew a deep breath, her expression stating she’d be rolling her eyes if she wasn’t grateful to the man and knew that he was only going his job  
“Thank you for all you’ve done for my son and my grandchildren. We’ll remain watching over him. I am his mother after all, and no stranger to how he must feel. Now, Keith, go hold Lance’s hand. He’s very tired and waiting for you”  
Miriam left no room for rebuttal. Keith had fully intended to hold Lance’s hand at the first chance he got. Lance. Twins. Finding a way to hold all three at once, in that order. The poor nurse was out of his depth when it came to handling Miriam. He opened his mouth to object, only to close it under her firm gaze. Keith very nearly felt sorry for the man, then Lance made a sort of small waving motion with his hand and everything else was gone.

Striding to Lance’s side, Keith took Lance’s right hand as he buried his face against his husband’s oily hair. Closing his eyes, he breathed in his husband’s scent, tearing up at the thought that he could have lost Lance on the operating table  
“Hey... babe”  
Forcing himself back, Keith stared down into Lance’s near black eyes with a smile on his face   
“Hey, you”  
“Hey you, yourself. You’re so goddamn pretty”  
Keith snorted. Right now, Lance was drugged to the gills  
“I can’t take my eyes off you even for a moment. How do you feel?”  
Lance made a crackling kind of noise  
“Good morning, Passengers! This is your Captain. We’re flying high as fucking fruit loop”  
Keith sucked his bottom lip in, biting down to keep from laughing   
“Ah! I see you laughing there, Mullet man! My mullet man! Mulleato mateo mullet manno! Did you know I had a baby? I had two of them! Did you see them? The nurse wouldn’t let me lick them. I don’t know why. If I pushed them out, then I should, by law, get to lick them”  
Keith’s laughter bubbled up, bursting from him in the form of a loud laughing snort out his nose. Normally a high Lance wasn’t a rambling Lance. A rambling high Lance was hilarious. The way Lance seemed incredibly proud of himself, as if he’d presented the most eloquent speech known to mankind only made it that much funnier. This dopey idiot was his dopey idiot   
“Oh, babe. What am I going to do with you?”  
“Marry me? Fuck me... boo no. Noooo. Sex makes babies and babies hurt my arse”

Talking with his face as much as his words, Keith started blushing on his husband’s behalf. Moving to his side, Miriam pulled the visitors chair closer to the bed before settling down making herself comfortable. Lance’s eyes widened with excitement. There was no keeping his husband from being excitable. He was pain free and deliriously happy overy last thing   
“Mami! Mami! I had a baby! I had Keith’s Abby! Baby... Not Abby! Are you cheating on me with Abby? Who the fuck is Abby? I’ll shoot her!”  
Miriam cast a glance in Keith’s direction, also trying to stifle her laughter. After the tense hours waiting Keith was almost boneless with relief that Lance was not only awake but wouldn’t shut up  
“I’m not cheating on you. You’re high off you’re head on painkillers”  
Lance huffed  
“If I’m so high, why are so goddamn beautiful? You’ve got something on your lips”  
Keith scrunched his brow, fingertips going to his lips. He didn’t feel anything there. With everything that happened he hadn’t eaten, his stomach a tense knot most probably because it was unhappy at the lack of food over the last day  
“Did I get it?”  
“It’s still here! Come closer...”  
Leaning in, Lance shook his head  
“Come clooooooooooseer!”

Leaning down further so they were face to face, his husband stole a kiss. So much for being groggy, then again, with Lance’s addiction history it was so strange that he might react differently to the drugs in his system than others  
“Ha! Can’t believe you fell for that!”  
Keith’s face was fiercely red. He knew he hadn’t had anything on his face, yet let his husband trick him. Miriam was having the time of her lift, softly scolding Lance  
“Mijo, stop picking on your husband”  
“Not picking on him. He’s the one picking on me. Do you not see how handsome he is? It’s like totally unfair!”  
“Yes, dear. Keith is very handsome. How do you feel? Are you in pain?”  
“I’m feeling awesome. Can’t feel my legs but apparently they’re still there. They gave me like super awesome drugs... oh... Oh! Mami! The twins! You have to meet the twins!”  
“I can see them, Mijo”  
“Noooo. Not just see them! You have to meeeeeet them! They’re like amazing. Mami, have I ever told you you’re like super duper amazing. I mean like I love you. I really love you. I really, really, really love you!”  
“That’s nice dear. I can see little Laith and Hunter from here...”  
“Do you not wanna hold them? I’ll fight you. They’re fucking perfect!”  
Keith covered his face with his free hand. High Lance was a handful to handle and he was literally so drugged up that he couldn’t leave the bed   
“Of course I want to hold them. Keith, do you want to hold one of your sons?”  
Naturally he wanted to, but Lance had hold of his hand and he wasn’t about to break that connection   
“You can have first hold. We should let the others know he’s okay”  
Big Ears didn’t miss Keith’s answer to Miriam   
“Others? Is Coran here? Man, I miss Coran. His moustache is so manly”  
Laughing softly, Miriam patted Lance’s shoulder  
“Coran is here. He’s waiting outside with the others, shall I tell him to come in”  
“Others!? Why didn’t you tell me there were others!”  
“Because you’re not supposed to this excitable right now. Mijo, you just came out of surgery. You may not feel the pain, but your body is hurting. You need to take things slowly”  
Lance snorted, taking it slowly was the last thing on his mind  
“I had a baby! I had two baby! Look at them! They came out my butt!”  
Lance thought he was yelling, yet thankfully his “yelling” was merely his normal voice slightly higher. Keith had the feeling Pidge was going to enjoy Lance being high off his head far too much as it was  
“I know, my sweet boy. I know. Keith is going to stay with you while I say hello to your precious boys”  
“They look like Keith! Mami, they’re like Keith! Like really like Keith. They’re so pretty. Keith’s really pretty, don’t you think so, Mami?”  
“Yes, Mijo. Your husband is a very pretty man. He’s going to hold you hand while I look at our boys”  
Wisely not mentioning the others again, Keith found Lance staring up at him with love all over his face... apart from the small drool trail from the right side of his mouth. Wiping the trail away, Lance tried to lick his thumb. His husband was making it hard to keep his distance when all Keith wanted was to climb up into the narrow bed beside him, and cuddle the ever living quiznak out of Lance.

With the hands of a seasoned professional, Miriam had both twins up on her shoulders before Keith had the chance to watch how she’d accomplished it. Rocking in her steps, his mother-in-law kissed both tiny boys beanies that’d been placed on them by the hospital staff. Feeling Lance tugging on his hand, Keith was teary with emotion as he looked to his tired lover   
“Babe?”  
“I did good right?”  
The loopiness wasn’t gone from his husband, but fear had ebbed at his outlandish crazy  
“You did amazing”  
“Why aren’t you holding them then?”  
“Mami hasn’t met them yet”  
Squeezing Lance’s hand, his husband sighed softly   
“You really are the most pretty man I’ve ever met”  
“You’re the pretty one, babe. You have birth to twins and you’re more gorgeous than ever”  
Dishevelled, sunken bags beneath his eyes, and all drooly, his husband was perfect  
“No... I mean... like inside too. You’re pretty inside too”  
Awkward under praise, Keith tried to turn it back on Lance  
“You know you’re still high as hell”  
“I’m not sure if I’m gonna rememberers this but you’re pretty. Your eyes are like little tiny purple bugs”  
“Bugs?”  
“They’re all shiny and cool. Wanna poke them”  
Closing his eyes, taking a breath then reopening them, Keith gave a shake of his head   
“You can’t poke my eyes. But, babe. I’m really fucking proud of you”  
“I’m proud of you... and them... wanna have cuddles”  
“I know you do. I’m sorry you have to wait a little longer”  
“Wanna cuddle your eyes”  
Keith’s shoulder shook as he stifled something giggle like. He was starting to feel giddy, almost as if he too was high, his exhaustion and relief was leaving him defenceless   
“You have to cuddle all of me, not just my eyes”  
“Okay. I see your argument and I raise you cuddling”  
“I’ll take you up on that one when you’re allowed”  
“I’m allowed noooooow”  
“Sorry, babe. Doctor’s orders”  
“Wankers”  
“Babe, you can’t call them wankers. They saved your life”  
“I can when my drool worthy husband won’t gimme cuddles. I pushed babies out my bum!”  
Pouting, Lance wasn’t going to be a happy camper when it came to that. Keith wasn’t sure how long they’d prohibit him sharing a bed with his husband... he also wasn’t sure he had the will power to wait. From near the door Miriam called to him softly  
“Keith! I’m going to let the others in now, will he be alright? Should I let everyone in? Or just Jorge and Coran?”  
Keith couldn’t predict how Lance would react to a large group... His secondary instincts were disgruntled at the idea, while simultaneously demanding he show off how perfect his baby boys were  
“Yeah... maybe warn them that he’s got no filter right now?”  
“Alright, Mijo”

Chaos erupted as their weird family crowded into the room. Taking the only chair for himself, Keith wedged himself as close to Lance’s bed as possible while staying out the way. Lance’s first announcement to everyone that he’d given birth out his arse. Pidge whipped out her comms to record the moment. Lance would be completely embarrassed, but the love in the room was worth it. Everyone was gushing over their boys. Jorge was in tears, very much a proud grandpa, as he held Laith. Both boys indicated by hospital bands around their tiny wrists. He wasn’t sure how they knew who was who. Not that it mattered. Knowing them they’d probably spend their whole lives calling each one by their brother’s name... ok, so maybe it did bother him but if asked Curtis maybe he’d know because he’d cleaned them both? His main priority remained Lance, though as cuddles and cooing went round, he kind of felt left out. Lance was high off his head, not knowing what he was missing, but Keith... each time his son was passed from Mami or Curtis, he wanted to be the one taking him in his arms. He was so incredibly proud of them, but now he was feeling like an outsider in his own family. 

Whining softly, Lance “let go” of his hand, their fingers still interlaced but his husband was no longer making an effort to hold his hand back. Confused, Keith looked from where Coran was holding one of their boys, to his tired husband’s face   
“What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Do you need anything?”  
“You smell upset... I didn’t mean to upset you. I shouldn’t talk... I’m being stupid”  
Keith’s heart broke a little further. Lance hadn’t done anything wrong, yet he thought he was in trouble  
“Babe, no. It’s not you”  
“But it has to be me, I’m the only reason you’d be mad... is it because I’m a bad father? I can’t even hold them”  
Standing back up, Keith pulled Lance into a tight hug, forgetting to be careful as he leaned his husband towards him. Nuzzling and kissing Lance’s hair, tears rolled down his face as his already frayed emotions bubbled over. As Lance said, sometimes you just need to cry  
“You’re not a bad father. I’m not mad at you at all. You’re the best father our boys could have and the best husband I could ever hope to wish for”  
“B-but you’re sad”  
“I’m fine, babe. I’m just overwhelmed”  
Overwhelmed sounded better than being jealous as fuck  
“I love you, Keith. I love you... I want to hold them so much...”  
“I know, baby. I know. I want to hold them too”  
“You do? Why aren’t you holding them then?”  
“Because I’m holding you”  
“I don’t want you to be sad... or mad... I want to hold them... I want to see you with them... I...”  
Lance started crying. The noise of their friends quietening in an instant. Exhaustion oozed in Lance’s scent. Too much excitement had worn him out, though he had made a valiant effort to stay awake as long as he had  
“Shhhh, you’re ok. You’re ok, babe. You’re ok”

Mami came to his side, one of their sons in her hold  
“Is he alright?”  
“He’s tired and wants to hold the boys... we both want to”  
“Oh! Dear me, why didn’t you say? I’m afraid we all got caught up in the moment. Oh, dear. Lance isn’t supposed to do any heavy lifting...”  
“That’s ok, Mami. I’ll hold him so Lance can see. Is that ok, baby?”  
Lance sniffled as he nodded, Keith knowing that it wasn’t the same as holding his own son. Miriam slowly lifted their swaddled baby towards him, Keith having to let go of Lance to accept their son  
“Here you go my sweetness, off to daddy with you”

Taking his son, Keith carefully lowered him to Lance’s side. Their baby boy looked so much like Lance. His skin a soft brown like Lance’s, illuminated better by the hospital's fluorescent lights. His thin brows holding touches of brown, barely there but with his better than human eye sight Keith could see it. His lips were like his, as were the shape of his son’s eyes   
“He’s got your nose...”  
Keith nodded, he wasn’t as sure as Miriam seemed to be. Yawning widely, their little boy opened his eyes, purple eyes staring up at him and stealing his heart all over again  
“Hello, baby... I’m your daddy...”  
Cooing over his son, Lance’s smile was wide and genuine. Adjusting his tiny beanie, their sons dark hair peaked out, not quite brown and not quite black. Making sure his head was properly covered, Keith let a little more his weight rest on Lance  
“I think it’s time we let you rest, would you mind if Jorge and I stayed?”  
Though Keith couldn’t foresee something going wrong, he wasn’t about to say no to an extra set of hands. Shiro and Curtis must be exhausted, while Pidge and Coran must have other things to do and no doubt would be back at a more human hour, plus Mami would be a barrier between Lance and Krolia should his mother accidentally put his foot in it   
“Thanks, that’d be great. Lance mentioned he’d been wanting to see you for weeks not long after he gave birth”  
“Oh, my dear boy. You did so well. I would have made the trip had I know”  
Keith nodded, his attention on his son. Waiting a few ticks, the cry he thought his baby boy would give didn’t eventuate   
“He was pretty forgetful since my birthday, maybe he thought he’d mentioned it but hadn’t? I don’t know... but I’m really grateful you’re here, and you too Jorge”  
“You’re a fine man, Keith. I’m still not sure I completely understand what happened, but Lance couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life”

Jorge’s words turned the half-Galra into a blubbering mess. He wasn’t sure why he was crying, only that he wanted to throw his arms around Jorge. He couldn’t instantly relate to him now he was father, but he did understand that Lance’s family had been through so much pain and heartbreak thinking first he was gone, then that their son was now a stranger in his own home. That Jorge would leave the farm and travel for Lance no longer felt as if he’d been pulled along, though he probably had, instead it felt like he... like they’d both come home. It was a weird way to word it, yet he didn’t know how to say how grateful he was that they’d come to see their new grandsons, as well as both of them... not just Lance. A warm family full of love was what Lance had given him... A family he could share with Shiro and Curtis too. Speaking over his older brother, Shiro echoed what Miriam had said  
“Okay guys, I think it’s time we all left. We’ll be back to see you bo- all four of you once you’ve gotten some rest”

Focusing on his family, Keith had no way of knowing that Pidge had spent the better part of the last minute simply filming him with his baby boy. His smile, his holding of his breath as he waited for him to cry, him cooing over him, and him reassuring Lance before their boy was placed in his hold. Her lips slightly parted, seemingly surprised he was holding his baby calmly. Hooking her arm, Shiro towed her along. None of their strange little family taking offence with Lance mumbling a sleepy “thanks”, and Keith straight out ignoring them as their son yawned again.


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I’m terrible! I’m still trying to catch up on each comment you’ve left me. I love you guys so much. So very much.
> 
> Now, we’re walking towards the end very slowly... and I may be dragging my feet a little but I finally have an end point. Then I think ima do a small epilogue as another part.

Lance was getting antsy and Keith couldn’t blame him. Krolia’s arrival seemed to bring some kind of ill will with her. His mother did absolutely nothing wrong, yet her scent was strong enough for Keith to pick up above the scent of everything else in the room. She wasn’t mad, in fact she was a gushing mess over her first two grandsons, her lateness due to stopping off to buy some over priced flowers after getting clearance on from the Garrison to be on Earth. It was more the fact that it was the scent of a Galra, and with Lance’s medication wearing off, his past traumas were poking their unwanted heads up. Every move his mother made set them both on edge. Having been “Galra” far longer than him, and having had a life time to adjust to unwanted scents, she had a certain self control Keith was still learning. He wasn’t jealous over her, not as he’d been with Shiro, no it wasn’t that either. Sitting quietly beside his husband, Lance was also on edge due to waking to their boys crying, without having been informed of Krolia’s arrival.

Unable to feed their sons due to the drugs in his system, their boys first feeding came from a bottle. Lance was too weak to hold either of their boys, nor did the nurse allow him to “help”. All his husband could do was sit there next to him as Keith fed Laith. Miriam holding Hunter as he did, Hunter had started crying before his big brother, yet hadn’t been keen on the bottle. Keith felt like a loser of a father when his boy wouldn’t drink, the nurse suggesting they try Laith first so he could get used to his new parental duties. And get used to, he could. His son had a healthy appetite, taking the teat between his soft lips and not holding back. Unlike his brother Laith’s skin was much lighter, almost as milky as Keith’s. His hair was also darker, but his eyes were the same purple as Keith and Hunter’s, “Galaxy Eyes” as Lance called them. More than once his husband had flirted with him, telling him it was so easy to get lost in his eyes. More than once Keith had felt uncomfortable, picked on for his less than human eyes in more homes than one. Meeting his mother, and learning the truth of his heritage should have eased the pain from the years of teasing, yet it was Lance’s sincere words that had finally eased the pain. Lance not even knowing the trauma he was fixing with each soft word, each touch and each kiss. No his sons would carry out their lives with the same purple eyes as him, part of him fearing they’d face segregation as he for being something other than human. The love he felt for his sons was something precious and amazing. He’d loved them before they were born, and to be holding his boy as he took his first drink was again something on a whole other level. He wondered if all parents found the act as incredible as he did, or if he was just a great big softy like Lance liked to remind him he was.

Burping Laith, Keith found he didn’t mind the small amount of spit-up on his shoulder, calmly ignoring it until his son had settled and taken into Krolia’s hold. Jorge appeared somewhat awkward holding Korra, but like the boys, her cuteness would melt even the most stubborn of hearts. She was still so tiny, yet so large in comparison to the twins. She was also much more vocal in her wants, Lance leaking through his hospital gown when she’d cried to be fed. With his arms free, he was passed Hunter. Having birthed his son, Keith was fascinated by his every move, not to say that he wasn’t as fascinated by Laith. Both boys would forever have him wrapped around their little fingers, yet it was... different he supposed. He’d watched Hunter being born, seen him and held him in his first moments, delivering him though not sure he could, and there he was now, so perfect, despite being hangry and hating on his bottle. Keith knew how desperately Lance wanted to be the one to feed their boys, he felt Hunter might have been more receptive if it was his daddy doing the feeding rather than the unappealing bottle with its small plastic teat. Maybe it was the first signs that his boy was going to be a fussy eater? Whatever it was, it took Hunter a good ten minutes to begrudgingly accept the bottle, Keith melting with relief when he finally did. His cheeks puffing out as he drank deeply like his big brother had done, eyes tightly scrunched closed as one small formed a fist. Lance was right. He was a softy. His husband had worn away all his sharp edges, his love acting like sand paper to leave him smooth and soft. Not that he’d admit it. Keith had the feeling that caring for Lanc physically was what had brought on the biggest changes in him. Once you’d had your husband throw up on you as often Lance had, especially during withdrawal, it wasn’t as gross as it’d been the first time. Besides, everyone knew Lance could be a great big baby when he wanted to. He may have fooled his team for month, but Keith knew how affection starved Lance had become in the aftermath of everything. He knew because he each night they’d spent apart he’d felt that same hunger to be back in Lance’s arms. Lance probably now hungered to hold his boys, as Keith hungered to hold him. The situation wasn’t fair. Lance had never failed well in hospital, Keith feeling remorse over the nights he’d been forced to spend alone in white sterile rooms without the company or comfort of his husband. When Lance hadn’t wanted him to visit on Erathus, he should have. When Lance was stuck watching over them from their disastrous training mission, he should have been awake and there to by his side. He should have been awake after the explosion, and there when Lance went through surgery. He already knew they wouldn’t let him stay by Lance’s side once he started to improve. He’d be forced to take a room at the Garrison, leaving Lance alone all over again. He’d never loved hospitals, but he’d never hated them the way Lance’s loneliness made him hate them.

“You’re good at that”  
Humming, Keith raised his gaze from Hunter, Krolia was pacing with a bounce in her step as she patted Laith’s butt. Had she done the same with him?  
“Hmmm?”  
“With the twins. You‘re good with them”  
“He is... Much better than I am”  
Under her breath Miriam sighed softly, Jorge hadn’t seemed to hear, but Krolia had. A firm frown forming on her face at Lance’s sad mumble  
“Why would you say that? Have you done something wrong?”

Krolia could have phrased things better. A normal person would have asked “What was wrong?”, not allowed Lance to feel like there may be some kind of agreement with his less than logical mumblings. She’d always been raised in such a tough environment, his mother had her moments of extreme sweetness but at her heart she was a soldier, for Lance it was the opposite way around. He’d been raised with love, then thrown into war, forced to be strong all too soon yet nursed a loving heart and gentle spirit under his tough front  
“Mum...”  
“He’s just given birth earlier today. He’s not only birthed twins, he’s also been through surgery. He hadn’t done anything wrong that I can see”  
Ah... His mother did get it. She was turning the question back on Lance so Lance would see there’d been nothing wrong in his actions. Keith felt bad for doubting his mother, yet he also knew that if he didn’t talk to her things may escalate, especially with her scent setting Lance on edge. As was the hospital, and the location of the pain, as well as a hundred other things Lance must have now been processing, much like him and his fixation on her scent. He couldn’t be the best husband he could be unless he worked through this agitation  
“Can we talk outside for tick? Mami, can you take Hunter for me. We’ll only be a few moments”  
Lance whined softly as Keith moved Hunter away from him, Miriam quick to take his feed son, then settle him back down where Lance could watch him feed. Only now did it strike Keith that maybe Lance wanted some alone time with his parents  
“Jorge, will you take Laith. I’ll take Korra, so you can have some family time”  
“I don’t mind holding her, she reminds me of Veronica as baby. Even then she had quite the temper”  
Sometimes people say things you don’t expect, Keith didn’t expect such a paternal side from Jorge when it came to holding onto Korra  
“If you’re sure?”  
“Talk to your mother”

Krolia followed him out to hall, Keith hit by an unexpected feeling of ill ease with Laith being outside of Lance’s room. Holding his hands out, he swallowed loudly, not wanting to pick a fight or make his mother think she’d done something wrong. Taking Laith, he settled him up against his shoulder   
“You wanted to talk?”  
His mother sounded defensive, Keith mentally sighing to himself  
“You haven’t done anything wrong”  
Raising her eyebrow, Krolia crossed her arms  
“Then why have you been so...?”  
Of course she’d noticed. He needed to change tactics with this conversation   
“How do you deal with scents?”  
That wasn’t what his mother expected, her raised eyebrow turned into a scrunched ridge  
“With scent?”  
“I’m... I can smell you. I’ve been able to smell you since you stepped into the room. This scent thing... I don’t know... How do you... how did you cope after Korra was born? Having so many scents surrounding you, didn’t it... you know... make you... uneasy”  
Keith cringed at his own butchered words. He didn’t have the right ones, and if he did, he wasn’t sure he’d worded it all correctly  
“You can smell Galra and it’s setting you on edge?”  
Keith ducked his head, feeling a little sheepish  
“Oh my, that explains everything. You’ve been letting out your own stream of scent as warning. I simply thought that was because Lance was in hospital again”  
Keith nodded quickly, relieved she got it and now didn’t seem mad at him for asking her outside  
“Lance’s pain meds are wearing down and I can smell him too... He... I’m not in his brain, but I think the last time he suffered that much trauma was when... that arsehole hurt him”  
“You’re worried he’s only smelling me and not seeing me?”  
“That to. I mean. He knows you and he knows your scent. And he was happy that you didn’t hate him... but he was off his head earlier from the medication so I can’t tell if he’s reacting to your scent or upset he can’t hold his sons”  
“It’s both. I forgot how sensitive he was over scents when he first came to Daibazaal, every strange scent overwhelmed him. He’d made such progress, I’d let it slip my mind he could be afraid when in such a state. Maybe I should have delay...”  
“No! I mean, no. We want you here. I want you here... With us... I just... I never had this scent problem until Allura changed him. I didn’t grow up with it, or if I did I didn’t notice it like I do now. I don’t... I don’t want to make you feel unwanted... you’re my mum... and you’re now a grandmother. And Lance... he wants you here too. He.. he threw a seizure Mami, and it was terrifying. He bled... and I thought...”

Krolia ignored him calling her Mami, closing the distance she wrapped her arms around him, careful of Laith as Keith buried his face in the crook of her neck  
“You’ve been so worried about Lance that you haven’t stopped to breathe, have you?”  
“It was so scary... there was so much blood and it wouldn’t stop... I watched him... he tore... he... now he can’t even hold them... They won’t let him hold them... What if has another seizure? What if he...”  
“That’s enough. Lance is strong. He’s incredibly strong... and you’re strong too. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid, but Keith, you have less to be afraid of now. Lance is in hospital. He’s safe. You’re sons are safe, and you are in the best possible position you can be after birth”  
“He has to have surgery, mum... He might have to have...”  
“Then you’ll deal with it together”  
“He shouldn’t have to deal! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I should have been prepared”  
“That’s the things about babies, they have no sense of time. They come when they’re ready. You did the best you could under the circumstances. You have two amazing little boys. You need to let yourself relax. You need to let yourself sleep”  
“I... don’t think I can. Not without him... I don’t want to take my eyes off them”  
“Keith, honestly. You always take too much on your own shoulders. You and Lance, you’re a partnership. He may need to rely on you more for the time being, but it’d hurt him that you aren’t being realistic and letting yourself rest. I spoke to Shiro, he said you were beside yourself when Lance was brought in. Instead of focusing on your happiness, you’re acting like it’s already been decided things will go wrong. Have faith in your sons and in Lance. Now, this scent thing. I’ve grown up with it my whole life, I can’t save I have any tips for handling it. When the scents are too much, how do you usually cope with it?”  
“I make him smell like me... Um... rubbing my wrist against his neck or giving him my jacket?”  
“And if you can’t?”  
“We... uh... I don’t know?”  
Krolia groaned at him, releasing her hug, she took him by the chin   
“You’re my son and I love you. You’re an idiot, but I love you for it. Now, I’m going to find someone around here who can get me a bed for you, and you’re going to hug your husband and make sure that he knows no one is going to hurt him like that ever again”  
“Mum, you know PTS doesn’t work like that”  
“I know, and this is why you’re an idiot. No one said you had to use words to reassure him. Scent him with your wrist, sit on the edge of the bed and hold him. Lance seems to respond well to physical contact”  
“I’m not allowed on the bed”  
“I won’t tell if you don’t. Hold him until he falls asleep. He’s going to be sore for quite some time. Is there any reason he can’t be placed into a pod?”  
Keith shook his head, hiking Laith up slightly as he did  
“I don’t know... When he had his bleed it scarred the tissue, that’s why he had to have that operation. If he doesn’t heal... he might...”  
A blush formed on his face, he didn’t want to say Lance might never be able to use the toilet properly again because he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything of how long it would take to heal Lance. It wasn’t like when he was getting high, where his wounds would heal over night. No. Going down that chain of thought led too close to temptation. Lance worked hard not to fall back into the temptation of his previous habits  
“He’ll get the best possible medical care that the universe can offer. We’ll ensure that. Will you be able to cope with Korra until I return? I don’t intend to be long”   
“Jorge seemed happy to hold her”  
“He is a good man from what I can tell. He’s very fond of you, that’s certainly in his favour”  
“Can you imagine him and Kolivan in a room together? I thought he might come with you...”  
Not that Keith didn’t understand that he probably couldn’t due to his commitments... He just kind of felt like if he was going to be his stepdad then maybe he’d want to come... Unless now he Korra and didn’t need Keith around to ruin his new family  
“He’s dealing with a pocket of resistance that cropped up during your convalescence. He sends his congratulations. The flowers are from the three of us”  
Lance would most likely stare at him with wide eyes if he told him that Kolivan sent his congratulations, the man was hardly paternal   
“A pocket of resistance?”  
“Nothing you need to bother with, we have things handled. You were where you needed to be, and where you should be. Go back inside, hug your husband and tell him you love him. Remember, Keith, just because Lance gave birth, that doesn’t mean his hormones or emotions will simply snap back to being as they were before. He needs you now as much as ever. Your... your father would have loved to be here. He’d be so proud of the man you’ve become. I’m so proud of you”  
His mother had told him to let himself rest, yet now she was telling him that Lance needed him. He wasn’t sure what the right answer was now. She was right. Lance was in a safe place physically, but that didn’t mean mentally... He’d have to play it by Lance’s needs  
“Thanks... and thanks for understanding... I... I’m going to need your help with all of this, aren’t I?”  
“I have a feeling you and Lance are going to be just fine. That’s not to say I don’t expect daily calls and photos of my grandsons”  
Daily updates might be a little much, but her words gave him relief. She loved them. She loved them despite their mostly human heritage. There was no prejudice against bloodline, or the way they’d come into the world, just a deep love and happiness that they’d come through the birth.

*  
Waking in a dozy haze, Lance wince as he went to move. His arse was throbbing mercilessly, his tongue felt heavy, his teeth furry, skin sticky, and by all things holy his arse was sore as quiznak. Beside him something was far too warm as it snored. His body titled on the thin mattress towards the weight. Groaning, he gave up trying to relieve the pressure on his back as cool palm was placed against his forehead   
“Try not to move, Mijo. Are you in pain?”  
Nodding, Lance then blinked trying to wake himself up. His stomach felt as if he’d eaten a swarm of firearms and they were not trying to crawl out of any available exit below his waist  
“Mami?”  
His Mami hushed him, her hand felt wonderful. He’d missed her so quiznakking much. With how settled in she seemed, he must have been sleeping for a while as he couldn’t actually remember her arriving, yet had the feeling this wasn’t the first time he’d spoken to her since giving birth  
“I’m here, sweetheart”  
“Hurts... Mami, it hurts”  
“I know, Mijo. You’re going to be feeling sore for some time”  
“I want to move...”  
Trying to push himself up again, his hand landed on the heavy beside him. The feeling of fabric beneath his hands led him to finally glance up. Keith sleeping with his arm over his shoulders and head tilted on an angle that couldn’t be comfortable   
“He fell asleep holding you. He hasn’t left your side. The nurses weren’t too pleased that he was sitting on the bed, but the poor boy hadn’t slept since you were brought in”  
He couldn’t ask Keith to move. He couldn’t do that to his husband. Keith had been so amazing every step of the way, after the arsehole had woken from his fainting spell... but at the same time, the dent in the mattress hurt...  
“I want to move... it hurts... wait... where are...”

His heart rate picked up as he realised he couldn’t see his boys. Hushing him, she pointed to the other side of the room. Everything in the space was a tight fit, but in the corner, much too far away for his liking were two plastic cribs, and a very small bed  
“They’re sleeping, Mijo. They’re here, we had to make space for a second bed. Krolia can be quite forceful and it was clear Keith wouldn’t rest if he wasn’t near you. They took them down to give them a quick examination while you were both sleeping, your papi and I have been here. They’ve only just brought them back up. They thought you might wake soon”  
“Are they ok? I wanna hold them...”  
“Both beautiful and healthy. Laith’s a little bit bigger than his little brother, 52cms long, 6pound 9 ounces. Very healthy and big for his age. Hunter’s 49.5 centimetres, 6 pounds 7 ounces. Born the morning of November 13th, Earth time. They’re both beautiful. Both have Keith’s dark hair and purple eyes. He doesn’t seem to agree, but we all know their features won’t settle for another 6 months. Laith’s a little darker than Hunter, that’s my opinion, he’s beautiful Lance. They’re both beautiful. You did such a good job my darling”

It was fine to do a good job, but right now he wanted to lay on his side and take the pressure off his back while he snuggled both his boys. The pain was making feel physically ill, he was sure he felt feverish as it was. He didn’t want drugs but his body did, anything to take the pain away  
“Does it always hurt this much?”  
“Well... not everyone has a birth like yours. Coran has popped by while you were sleeping, they’re exploring your options so you won’t have to go through multiple surgeries. I’ve pressed the call button, a nurse should be here soon”  
His Mami was using too many words now. Everything was starting to become too overwhelming   
“I don’t want to wake keith...”  
For Keith to fall asleep like this, his love must have been exhausted  
“Keith will understand. Keith, sweetheart. You need to wake up for me”

Lance craned his neck to watch Keith wake as his Mami shook his shoulder. Sleepy purple eyes slowly blinking before he swore softly. Smacking his leg, Mami wasn’t mad. She didn’t even threaten him with the pink slipper  
“Keith, love. I’m sorry, Lance is in pain”  
“Quiznak! Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Babe, how bad is it?”  
“Like fifteen out of ten”, was what Lance wanted to say. It’d been a long time since he was this tender down there. The sensation left him feeling ghost weight across his thighs, but he didn’t want to bring things down. He didn’t want to remember why things had hurt so badly   
“Not great...”  
“Ok, Mami, did you call a nurse?”  
“Yes, I pressed the call button when he first said he was pain”  
Keith kissed his hair before slowly inching his way off the bed. Lance’s arse grateful not be on the uneven patch of mattress anymore. Standing, his husband stretched, before he slipped between him and Mami  
“How long was I asleep?”  
“Six hours. I didn’t want to wake you when you needed the rest”  
“Six... Dios...”  
Mami raised both eyebrows at Keith, Lance feeling a tad guilty that his home language was slipping into Keith’s vocabulary when out of all the words Keith could have said, he’d gone with “Dios”  
“How long have you been awake?”  
Lance opened his mouth, then winced when he found himself actually able to move, his lower half had zero appreciation for his efforts. Mami answering for him as she took his hand in hers, preventing him from rolling on his as he’d wanted  
“Not long. You passed out not long before Krolia left. She had a few things to do on base. Shiro mentioned Kosmo needed picking up. Jorge is with Shiro, he’s not great at this waiting thing. Curtis offered him a lift back home later tonight, he wanted to make sure Lance was stable before he left”  
Keith rubbed his eyes, nodding as he yawned. Lance wanted him back by his side, despite the pain that it’d cause. He wanted real cuddles with his husband because he was feeling absolutely miserable  
“The boys?”  
“Perfect angles”

Padding softly over to the cribs, Keith smiled as he placed his hands on the plastic sides   
“Hello my babies... Lance, do you want to try having a hold?”  
“Yes!”  
He wanted his babies. He wanted snuggles and to curl around them. He wanted to relieve the weight in his breasts, and try feeding his beautiful boys. He wanted to see them. He knew he’d seen them but that wasn’t enough. He wanted his baby boys up where he could watch them, where he could keep them safe   
“Mijo, maybe we should wait until the nurse checks you?”   
“I wanna hold them”  
“I know, sweetheart. But you are very very weak right now. You can’t push yourself”  
“I wanna hold my boys”

Shit. The tears in his eyes were unexpected, not an attempt at sympathy or manipulation. Why couldn’t he hold them? Didn’t he deserve to? He might be weak, but he loved them. He wasn’t going to hurt them... Did his Mami think he’d scare his children as he’d done with Nadia and Sylvio? He’d fucked up then, but he’d never... he’d never wanted to hurt them. He’d never wanted to hurt anyone. Did his Mami hate him for all the people he’d killed?  
“Babe, hey. Hey, no tears. Laith’s right here”  
Sniffling loudly, he’d missed Keith picking up their baby boy and cradling Laith... Laith meant lion. He wanted his son to be brave and fierce  
“My little lion cub”  
Keith nodded, he didn’t seem mad at him   
“Yeah baby, our little lion cub. Can you move your arms for me? I’ll rest him on your shoulder”  
“Keith...”  
His Mami’s voice a low warning   
“He deserves to be able to hold his own son”  
“I’m not saying he doesn’t, he’s simply in a lot of pain”  
Being close to Laith made things more bearable, his son was tangible proof of his struggle and that the pain wasn’t from... wasn’t from something horrible. He was so in love with his sons that he never wanted to let them go. Being separated was breaking his heart, nearly as bad as being made to feel too psychotic to be a father, and a whole other pain that what his lower body was experiencing   
“Please? I’ll be good”  
Keith kissed his forehead  
“You’re already good. You did so good birthing them. You make me so quiznakking proud to be your husband”  
Lance’s cheeks felt even warmer, he’d blame the fever if anyone teased him for it.

Settling Laith on his shoulder, Lance rested his cheek against his son’s head. He was heavy, warm and maybe a touch uncomfortable to hold... and everything else he thought holding his boy would be. His hand rested on his son’s back where Keith had placed it. He was able to feel his son breathing, able to smell traces of himself and Keith on the small boy. That second side of him that always seemed to lead him into embarrassing situations was preening over their son. Instead of those voices that’d been abusing him, his head felt a kind of nice empty as his breathing calmed  
“He’s so small”  
“They both are. You look good like that. Relaxed, and content”  
“My arse is in the red-zone but I can’t find the effort to care when I’m holding him. I think... I held them before, didn’t?”  
“When they were born. Shiro laid Laith on your chest... Do you remember?”  
Bits and pieces. The pain wasn’t letting him focus. It was the wrong kind of pain for that, it was the kind of pain that left him afraid and on edge, but Laith anchored him  
“Yes and no. I remember needing to push. I think... no. No, you delivered Hunter. I don’t remember much though... Where’s Kosmo? He should be here”  
“We left Kosmo at the cabin. He’s too curious to let roam the Garrison”  
Kosmo was his fur son. He might be huge, but he was also sensitive. He had to know he was still loved. Lance wanted him to meet his brothers. He’d loved them so much before they’d been born  
“I want to see him”  
Keith kissed his hair again, then promptly yawned against his hair. His idiot husband hadn’t been taking care of himself, not that he was in any position to lecture him  
“Shiro’s going to pick him up later”  
“Then I can see him?”  
“Yeah... Will you be ok? I need to use the bathroom”  
Lance snorted through his nose, making the attempt for Keith’s sake  
“I’m not going anywhere”  
“Just making sure”  
“You need to worry about yourself, mister. I’d flick you in the forehead if you weren’t too far away”  
Keith grumbled his words back at him  
“I’ll flick you in the forehead”  
“You wouldn’t”  
Keith would have caught his slip of the tongue with the use of the word “Red”. He’d passed “red” and was far into “black”. The Cuban was exhausted from his little show of pretending everything was alright, that he could handle pain when he clearly couldn’t, not when he wanted to be high off his head. They’d come at him with drugs, he knew they would, and if Keith wasn’t there he wasn’t sure he’d be strong enough to say no  
“No. You’re right. I’ll be back as fast as I can”

Keith was coming back from the bathroom as the nurse came sweeping into the room. Carrying a holopad, she seemed less than amused as his Mami lifted Laith off his shoulder. Wiping his hands on his pants, his husband detoured as Hunter began to cry  
“What seems to be the problem here? Lance is supposed to be resting”  
Gathering up Hunter, Keith shot him a look, Lance giving him the smallest shake of his head. Instantly he took a dislike to the woman before him. This was why he disliked the Garrison, he wasn’t wanted here. Everyone was only nice to him because he been the ex-Red Paladin. They didn’t see him, nor did they appreciate him, for himself  
“He woke in quite a bit of pain. Can we move him?”  
“Ideally we would prefer him not move, nor is he to lift anything heavy at this point in time. Now that you’re awake, we need to perform certain tests, and assess your injury. Your mother and your... Keith may wait outside while we examine you”  
Yes, Keith was his. Also his husband, they’d paraded that around enough that no one should be hesitant in accepting their relationship. Then again, Krystaal lied and manipulated his arse off to get to Keith... What if this stranger was the same? He wasn’t going to let anyone take Keith from his side  
“No”  
“No”

Objecting at the same time Lance knew how he could be. Sometimes things went through one ear and out the other, even when he wished it wasn’t so. Sometimes a touch would send him off the deep end. Sometimes he wasn’t to be trusted with his own health. That was why Keith was listed everywhere as having to be present for all his medical procedures and appointments. If his husband couldn’t be there in person, he was to be brief, because Lance knew that was how things needed to be. He was in no mood to be bossed around when he’d danced like a puppet on a string for the stupid Coalition, nor was he in the mood to have his husband tossed from the room. Keith would worry himself to the point of implosion. He always did  
“The examination will be quite thorough and somewhat private”  
She had to find him a freak, and that was why she was acting the way she did  
“I gave birth out of my arse. He was there when I fell pregnant and he was there when his kids came out the same way they went up”  
Lance’s words felt chewy and claggy, clunky as if his tongue couldn’t quite get around them. Had she approached him with politeness he would have made the effort back, despite the pain and discomfort. He knew how to play nice, but he shouldn’t have to. Embarrassment was what really twisted his words, more so than fear. He knew they must all think him abnormal after giving birth in such a way  
“Mijo! I’m sorry, he’s in quite a lot of pain”  
“Evidently. We’ve been told to halt plans on his surgery until his previous scans have been consulted. For now we need to check the after birth bleeding and to ensure infection hasn’t begun to set in. Once he’s been assessed we will administer pain relief”  
Narrowing his eyes, Lance felt as if they thought he was faking it. He’d like to see them give birth out of their arse and look a tenth as good as he did. Carrying their still grizzling Hunter to his side, Keith placed his hand on Lance’s shoulder. His husband being the brave lion guarding their small family. He quiznakking hated the Garrison, unable to quite forgive them for their shared past  
“Has his regular physician been contacted, as well as his obstetrician? They’ll both have more updated scans than the ones on New Altea”  
“I understand that Coran has insisted on over seeing every aspect of Lance’s treatment. Earth medicine has been found to be... lacking, when compared to Altea”

Then she wasn’t mad at him personally? She was mad that their job was being hijacked by his crazy Altean Space Uncle. In this case, maybe it’d be better to just let every one at the Garrison poke at him until they gave up because he was something other than human. He wasn’t feeling great as it was. He didn’t want this added stress of being careful. He wanted Daehra’s tough love... or to be on Erathus were he wasn’t treated with any “special” attention  
“Mami, can you take them out the room... I don’t... I don’t want them be here when they...”  
Patting his hand, his Mami missed the other implication in his words   
“Mijo, examinations are natural after birth”  
“Mami, please”  
Please don’t make him explain this. Please don’t make him explain that he didn’t know how he’d cope with being touched down there. His big blue eyes stared up at his mother, begging her with everything he had to do this for him  
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. If Krolia were here, she’d say the exact same thing. Birth is always hard on the body”  
But he did. Have something to be ashamed of, that was. He wanted the drugs and he didn’t want to be touched. He was already pressing his thighs together, heart starting to race, the machine monitoring his pulse beeping in warning. They hadn’t even touched him yet and he was feeling the need to bolt  
“Mami...”  
He didn’t want to say it. Not in front of his Mami. Keith saved him, his voice soft yet firm, then hesitant as he picked his words  
“Mami, I think maybe he’s... I think he might have a point. I’m not trying to kick you out, but he... you know he has episodes”  
Lance threw up a little in his mouth. Keith hadn’t betrayed him, but he had. He didn’t want to admit his imperfections in front of his boys. They were everything he wasn’t. Perfect, innocent, unaware of the evils in the world. They didn’t know their father was a fruit loop shy of a full box. Heck, he was a whole socket set shy of a full toolbox, as well as a missing hammer and a screwdriver for extra measure  
“Oh, Mijo... I... Of course, I’ll wait outside then. Right outside the door. No one’s going to hurt you, my sweet boy”

He didn’t want his mother’s pity. He didn’t want anyone’s pity. He wanted to feel numb and hold his baby boys. Not be treated like this. He had to be strong for Keith and their boys, but his stupid brain didn’t always get the memo. He was terrified how he was going to react to being touched down there. To having multiple people looking between his legs and at his bodily functions like he an experiment... He wasn’t an experiment. He wasn’t letting them put weird things in his brain, or attempt to drown him just to watch and gauge his reaction. News of the birth had probably already hit the media, outlets would be rushing to know how he gave birth and would be explaining how a normal human male couldn’t. Lance could see it clearly illustrated as it was splashed across every live media stream. The pain in his back was crippling as he tried to draw himself in to as small a shape he could make, his right leg trembled a little more than the left. Why couldn’t he be goddamn normal? 

*  
The moment the blanket had been moved back to examine Lance, he’d panicked. Lance had turned pale before exam began, his breathing hitching, Miriam taking their boys as kith tried to soothe his love to no effect. Stupidly he’d placed his hand on Lance’s head, trying to be comforting and only succeeding in driving him further into his panic. Having to grab him by the shoulders to pin him down to the bed as his husband tried to escape, the half-Galra was nearly in tears. Frayed and guilt ridden, the excitement sent Lance into a seizure and Keith nearly lost his mind as he was pulled away. Lance had had the feeling he wouldn’t be able to cope with things the way they were. Separated, he felt useless, half wishing Lance would lose consciousness to spare him the embarrassment of the coming examination, his husband, however, didn’t. The seizure lasting barely 30 ticks before passing, extremely mild compared to some. It seemed as if Lance’s brain had needed to dump the extra pressure he was putting on himself into some kind of physical form. Finding its release in a seizure that could kindly fuck right off with the rest of Lance’s seizures. He wasn’t completely sure it was seizure if he was honest and not Lance’s body reacting to the pain he was in. A little dazed and a whole lot of tender, Lance whined softly until the medical staff rolled him onto his side and Keith was able to dart forward when an assisting orderly moved enough to left him close. Crouching down left him too low, kneeling working better as he grabbed Lance’s hand, kissing the back of it as he did. Blinking at him, Keith smiled the best he could. Lance’s arse and back were exposed now, his husband’s modesty out the window   
“Focus on me, baby”  
Forming words on his lips, Lance’s voice stayed locked inside. His husband was trying to apologise for his current state of fear. Lance didn’t want to feel like this. Keith didn’t want to feel quite as mad towards the nurse as he did. Lance’s hackles has been raised before she’d stepped in. She was trying to do her job, but he’d always and forever be on Lance’s side. He wasn’t even the one suffering, yet he felt overwhelmed. Miriam shouldn’t have set him on edge by saying he couldn’t hold the twins. Keith hadn’t intended to lay their full weight in Lance’s arms, he’d intended to place them on Lance’s shoulder all along. He didn’t know how to dad, he just knew what Lance wanted and needed, and that was to be with his boys.

“Try to keep him focused on you”

Lance bit down on his lip as he puffed out his cheeks, determined not to scream. Behind his husband the doctor seemed to be tending to his bleeding backside. With eyes tightly scrunched, his husband’s hand seemed intent on crushing his. He’d promised his husband that his body belonged to him and that he didn’t have to show that part of him to anyone he didn’t want to. Unfortunately, it was kind of necessary. The area already high with all sorts of nasty germs before the birth leaving him more prone to infection in that area. Plus, his husband had been damaged down there in the past, Keith had seen the fine traces of scarring, yet kept it to himself for Lance’s sake  
“It’s the doctor, babe. It’s not him. It’s not them. They’re not here and they can’t touch you”  
Anxiety was a douche, Lance braver than he was. If their positioned had been swapped there was no way he’d be letting himself be touched. Resting his chin on the edge of the bed, he squeezed his husband’s hand, Lance breaking his silence to whisper to him  
“I’m sorry...”  
“Nope. You don’t need to be sorry. What do you want to do when we get out of here. What’s the first thing you wanna do?”  
Lance cringed, hand tightening around his  
“Do you want to see the beach? Or we can take a ship for a spin around the planet?”  
“I want... to hold my boys for myself”  
“You’re going to be doing a whole lot of that. I don’t care that you’re not meant to, your their daddy”  
“You’re their daddy too...”  
“But I wasn’t the one giving birth”  
“You had to see it all... you were scared”  
“Maybe just a little bit”  
“Keith... if you want to... I won’t be mad if you want to take a break”  
A break from watching over him, or a “break” like a break in their relationship? He wasn’t going anywhere  
“Idiot. I’m staying here with my family”  
Lance closed his eyes, Keith leaning forward to kiss him softly  
“I don’t deserve you”  
Kissing him again, Lance sent his heart racing. The first thing he wanted to do when Lance was finally allowed to move was to cuddle him properly. Have him sit in his lap and enjoy feeling his solid weight in his arms. He wanted to take him out to watch the sun rise, their boys in their arms as Kosmo laid on the end of the picnic blanket   
“I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. Now, what else are we going to do?”  
“Sleep... maybe... maybe go to Cuba? If... you’re ok with that?”  
Cuba... Lance’s Mami and Jorge were here. Marco was with Daehra, Veronica on the Atlas... Rachel and Luis were there... and... No, he wouldn’t go to Cuba just for them, not when they could come to him  
“You want to see your grandparents? You want them to meet our boys, don’t you?”  
“If... only if it’s okay”  
“Of course it is. You know, Curtis and Shiro will probably bring our things back from the cabin. We can put that blanket on your bed when they have. When you’re feeling a bit better we can call? Then see them when you’re released”  
“I don’t think they want me here. I’m not normal”  
Keith couldn’t be happier Lance wasn’t “normal”. They had two gorgeous little boys because he wasn’t. Beside, Lance had always done things in his own way  
“I don’t care if you’re not normal. I’ll never forgive them if they don’t give you the medical attention you need. I’m sure Shiro wouldn’t mind if I shot them”  
Lance snorted wetly  
“You can’t shoot everything...”  
“I should be saying that to you”  
“I don’t think I can shoot anything right now”  
“Babe, you literally woke up from a coma and nailed a shot on Sendak. You couldn’t have a bad shot, even if you tried”  
Lance hissed, clenching Keith’s hand again. He didn’t think they’d need to be so thorough back there. They should have given Lance pain relief before they started their examination, he’d seen the aftermath and he knew it wasn’t pretty. Something for the pain, and if they suspected he’d have a seizure, then something for that too. Outside of the cocktail of drugs, whatever he’d had implanted on Erathus seemed the best measure to control his seizures.

Lance fell silent mid-exam, Keith having to use gentle prodding to get him to answer the doctors questions. His husband was bleeding naturally, another thing he didn’t know about was that Lance essentially had his period after birth and that was a load of crap as far as Keith was concerned. Birth was bad enough, this bleeding stuff wasn’t exactly fair. It also explained a little more over why Lance was so edgy. He preferred to be clean down there, even the times he blew it off, Keith would have preferred to clean him up. Sex was a big thing for his husband and he wanted him to enjoy every moment, even the after. Though they would have preferred for him to remain sitting upright, Keith fought to have Lance allowed to lay on his side, even for a few hours, anything to relieve his pain. When they finally administered pain relief, the guilt on Lance’s face fucking hurt, but whatever the outcome was from his needed medication they’d figure it out. When they were both rested and past Lance’s surgeries... Miriam or Krolia would have to be there, someone with more parenting experience than him. He’d have to find a room on base too, they’d probably want Lance close for the first few days after his release, unless he could get Coran to transfer Lance to Altea. Men giving birth there wasn’t such a strange thing. Dios. He was bone tired and it wasn’t even lunch time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krolia is a proud grandma. Very very proud. Our idiot boy is having the sore. He’s going to be very sore and tender. Coming up is Kosmo, and Keith finally gets something to eat... idiot boy is too in love with his family to remember that food is necessary


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An itty bitty update because it didn’t feel right not having it and it didn’t flow with the start of the next chapter. I still haven’t caught up on the comments and I’m so sorry!! Your author has been working and has been gaming and a tad sick. I also lost a filling and that hasn’t been fun either...

Food was a thing Keith had forgotten. A very important thing that filled the hole his forgotten hunger had gnawed into the pit of his stomach. Lance was on a strict liquid diet, the sign above his bed so, but with how high his husband was, and his current state, Keith severely doubted that Lance gave two quiznaks when it came to food. Laying on his side, Laith and Hunter lay before him. Lance transfixed on their baby boy, while Pidge and Krolia chatted on the bed his mother had gotten for him, Korra awake and propped up in the crook of his mother’s elbow. Keith watching as Pidge kept glancing over from her laptop at his little sister, for a Gremlin she seemed pretty ok with babies. In his chair, Coran was talking softly to Lance. More at Lance. Mami had come shuffling back into Lance’s room, the personification of worry as the first of the medical staff left. Her nose had been wrinkled up at Lance’s not so nice scent, then wide eyed and concerned as they were told to watch for seizures. Having promised Lance he could cuddle with his sons, that had to wait as a nappy change was needed. Miriam talking him through it, Keith not sure he’d ever get over what he’d seen in Hunter’s nappy, though kind of proud he’d done the hands on side, even if it’d made him gag.

They’d barely settled Lance down, who’d gotten “slightly” excited when Laith was laid in his sight, when Coran, bearing food for him and Miriam. His mother had arrived a few minutes later with Pidge who seemed to escaping from whatever she was supposedly to be doing by bringing her laptop with her. Feeling second hand embarrassment for his husband, dusty redness still in Keith’s cheeks as he attempted to pretend what had happened hadn’t. Lance had proudly declared that “Keith’s huge dick had made the most perfect babies and he was his baby, and that he wanted another one”. This came with the declaration that “Keith wasn’t allowed to destroy his arse again” and “if Keith came at him with that thing he might end up with it cut off and shoved up his own arse”. His husband happily telling Coran all of this when all Coran had wanted to do was sit by him and their boys. Given Lance had done similar, Keith wasn’t going to get too close... He was rather attached to his junk. Performing his first true parenting duty by “sacrificing” his boys to their loved up father for food, he scarfed down half the plate without tasting anything. He might have gone a day or three back in the Blades without food due to missions, but living with Lance and Curtis always meant he was well fed. His stomach not impressed over having been neglected now that he could breathe. His mother’s scent seemed more muted than it had, Lance was busy with their boys and he had food. What more could their little bubble ask for?

Apparently the universe decided Keith needed an answer to the unposed question. With a loud knock, the door to Lance’s hospital room was opened. A stream of half muttered commands came from the hallway, Curtis holding the door open as Colleen Holt carried through a bouquet of alien flowers nearly as wide as the doorway. Behind her Jorge shuffled in, the poor man having not been returned to his natural habit of his farm in Cuba. In the hall Shiro was scolding Kosmo, Curtis laughing at whatever his boyfriend was up to  
“Katie!”  
“Oh quiznak... uh... Hi, mum!”  
Colleen shot Pidge a scowl, her face then brightening as she made her way over to where Keith was sitting mid-forkful. Placing the fork back down, his stomach growled at the food in front of him he’d have to temporarily neglect. Rising up he took the flowers from Colleen, a little flustered as they weren’t exactly close  
“Congratulations! I hope you don’t me stopping by, it seems I’m a little late as my own daughter neglected to tell me your big news. Luckily I ran into Shiro and Jorge here. Jorge and I had quite the nice talk about agriculture and how a certain daughter of mine saved his son’s life”  
Huffing, Pidge rolled her eyes at her mother  
“I’ve been busy...”  
Colleen wasn’t having it, the woman honestly scared Keith. He absolutely never wanted to get on the wrong side of her   
“I heard. Stealing Garrison property. Abducting staff and skipping out on the lecture you were due to give to this years class of new students today”  
Pidge pushes her glasses up her nose, Krolia raising an eyebrow at her. His mother knew Lance had issues with her, but to him it seemed she’d restored her faith in the former Green Paladin  
“I’m not skipping out. Lance is vulnerable right now, he needs our support”

“Lance gave birth out his arse!”

Keith hung his head, Colleen covering her mouth at his husband’s words. Coran hushed Lance, while Lance would have forgotten what he was saying the moment it passed his lips  
“Sorry, he’s been given pain medication. He’s been staring at our boys for so long that I didn’t think he was listening. He... uh... he pretty much has no filter and we have no idea when he’s actually listening”  
Colleen waved at him with her free hand, thankfully she found it funny  
“No worries. I had already worked that out for myself. Do you mind...?”  
Keith looked over his shoulder to Lance and their boys   
“He might not remember you dropped by, but you can say hello. Maybe... don’t move the twins from his side. Not yet. He’s not allowed to hold them yet. He’s pretty gutted over it, and we need to keep him as calm as possible. He already had a minor seizure today”  
Colleen’s eyes got watery, Keith feeling even more awkward about addressing her. She was the adult here and there he was, telling her what she could and couldn’t do  
“Oh, poor boy. There’s nothing greater than holding your newborn child. Hopefully yours doesn’t run away to space to become a Paladin without telling you where they’re going!”  
Snapping her laptop closed loudly, Pidge glared at her mother   
“Mum! How long are you going to hold that over my head?!”  
“I don’t know. Katie. Until you understand that there’s consequences to your actions”  
“Lance might have died if I hadn’t gone out! How was I supposed to leave them stranded at the cabin?! Lance could never have walked out on his own!”  
“I’m not saying you didn’t do the right thing, but you didn’t stop to think. I would have offered you my assistance...”  
“I just wanted to help them!”  
“You left in the middle of a category 3 storm... The fleet was grounded for a reason. You wouldn’t have been able to help them if you’d crashed!”  
“I flew through worse in Voltron!”

“Whoa! What’s with all the yelling?”

Shiro saved them from the erupting argument... for all thirty seconds. Walking Kosmo into the room, his fur son was displeased with his current predicament. Tied to his collar were a collection shiny metallic balloons reading “congratulations”, “it’s a... girl” with “girl” crossed out and “boys” written in black marker. Tugging on his lead Kosmo was attempting to make a beeline for him, his eyes begging to be released from the indignation of being a delivery boy. Deserting his food, Keith went to his fur son, relieved Kosmo has survived being abandoned by them. Kneeling down, he was knocked on his arse as Kosmo head butted him, then tried to climb into his lap. Wrapping his arms around his wolf, he distracted Kosmo with cuddles as he untied the balloons from his collar  
“Did you miss me, boy? Let’s get these things off. You just want to look handsome for your other human, don’t you”  
Kosmo whined at him, Keith snorting through his nose. His fur son may love him, but Lance was where his true loyalties lie.  
“Keith, you’re ruining it. Those were for Lance. Do you have any idea how long it took us to tie them to his collar?”  
Arranging his features into a hurt pout, Shiro got no sympathy from him  
“Lance is off his head again, and Kosmo is miserable”  
“Can we at least show Lance before we take them off? He could use a little happiness”  
Curtis was supposed to be the adult of their small family, yet there he was, backing up his boyfriend. Beside, Lance couldn’t be happier, he was high and he was in love with their boys. He may have had that small hiccup with the examination, but now he was too drugged up to be stressed. The problem was if Kosmo would accept the twins... It was like ripping off a bandaid, it he continued to think about it, he’d get too anxious about Kosmo meeting the boys   
“Coran, can you move Hunter, Jorge, can you take Laith. I’ll hold Kosmo... I’m surprised he hasn’t teleported over there yet...”

Kosmo always knew when Lance was hurting, they seemed to have a bond beyond words and scents. Whether it was taking Lance by the hand and walking with him when he was sleep walking, dragging his hand away before he could self harm, or stealing his spot in bed because Lance needed cuddles, he always seemed to just know what to do. Keith didn’t think Kosmo would go the twins, not with how attached to Lance’s baby bump he’d been, but he’d rather be prepared in case it did.

Gathering up both baby boys, Keith led Kosmo over to Coran and Jorge. Miriam had her smile hidden by her hand. Colleen had missed out on seeing them laying with Lance, but now Kosmo was there he could preoccupy Lance while the twins did the cuddles rounds. With his tail between his legs, Kosmo slowly edged toward his new brothers, his belly nearly dragging on the floor as he tried to make himself smaller. Not that the idiot could. He looked so pathetic that Keith had to suck his lips in from laughing as he shuffled with Kosmo between his legs. His wolf was too damn big for this behaviour, but Kosmo seemed to want his paw held  
“Hello, Kosmo my boy... You remember me, right?”  
Coran seemed nervous, Kosmo dipping lower. With balloons in his face, Keith knew how ridiculous he looked. As much as he prayed Pidge wasn’t filming this, he kind of hoped she was so future Lance could share in it. Whining softly, Kosmo them sat with a huff. His idiot fur son staring up at him   
“These are your brothers. Laith and Hunter. Lance gave birth... I know you know that, you were hiding you big fat coward”  
Behind him, Shiro supplied  
“At least he didn’t faint when Lance’s water broke”  
You faint once and they never let you forget it. Rolling his eyes, he nudged Kosmo with his heel  
“Go on, say hello”

Lowering Hunter, Coran tucked back the blue blanket he was swaddled in. All at once Kosmo forgetting he was pathetic mess. His arse started wiggling from his tail wags. Giving a yip, he nosed into Hunter’s cheek. Hunter had no idea what was happening, starting to cry from his “wet nose” attack. Reeling back at the fact it made noise, he raised a paw and placed it lightly on their sons face... covering his eyes with his hand, Keith shook his head   
“Kosmo, you can’t gag your baby brother because he cries. They do that”  
Tilting his back up to it, Kosmo’s eyes were saying “I don’t like it, dad. I don’t want it to do that”  
“Try saying hello to Laith. Maybe not a wet nose this time”

Still not sure over this crying thing, Kosmo looked to Jorge, Coran holding his paw off of Hunter’s face. Laith was already crying, so it wasn’t like he was going to set him off. Leaning in, Kosmo quickly sniffed at his baby brother, then licked Laith across the face before yipping and teleporting from between Keith’s legs and over to the now empty chair Coran had been sitting in before moving Hunter. Placing both paws on the bed in front of Lance, he immediately nosed at Lance’s face. Lance starting to laugh as Kosmo began wriggling and trying to lick him, while his husband snaked his arm loosely around Kosmo neck  
“Who’s the best boy in the universe, you’re the best boy, yes you are. Yes, you are. Yes, I missed you too”  
Taking that as an invitation, Kosmo tried to squeeze himself into the small amount of bed space available, Lance too high to care that their fur son was moving him way too much. Not fitting in the small space, he climbed up to sit on Lance’s hip, bringing forth a whole lot of scolding as he did. Everyone in the space objected, even Lance tried to say no, but Kosmo wasn’t listening. Flopping his whole weight down, Lance yelped from under him, a stray paw ending up somewhere it shouldn’t before Keith could get there and wrestle him down. Growling at him, Keith continued to pull on Kosmo until finally he’d hefted him off the bed and down beside it  
“You can’t sleep with him, you need to stay off the bed. Lance is very hurt right now”  
Kosmo whined at him, his tail no longer wagging  
“Kosmo...”

Lance sounded as sad as Kosmo looked, patting the side of the bed Kosmo’s ears pricked up at the sound. Between his husband and Kosmo, keeping Kosmo off the bed was going to be a challenge. Bristling in, Miriam took Lance’s patting hand in hers  
“Lance, you can’t have him on the bed with you. You’re recovering”  
“Kosmo. I want Kosmo”  
“He’s here, but he can’t be on the bed with you. You need your rest, Mijo”  
Lance sniffled, Keith was weak when it came to a crying Lance. His husband had cried enough tears in his short life as it was. Tugging against his grip on his collar, Kosmo wasn’t making things easy on that front either  
“I want Kosmo...”  
Miriam sighed, losing some of her softness as she scolded him   
“You can’t, Mijo. Kosmo has to stay off the bed. There’s no need getting this upset, he’s still right here. With these balloons for you. Did you see the balloons? Curtis and Shiro organised it, don’t you want to thank them”  
“I want Kosmo!”  
Lance’s voice was slightly above an acceptable tone, after the examination Kosmo probably made Lance feel safe and secure  
“Lance, no. Kosmo’s still in the room, but he absolutely cannot be on the bed with you. He just hurt you as it is”  
“P-p-papi...”

The machine monitoring Lance’s heart rate started to beep loudly. Kosmo barking an actual bark, not his usual “Yip”. Watching Lance’s body tense, Miriam was ill prepared as Lance started seizing. Releasing Kosmo, Keith was by his husband’s side in an instant, Miriam pulled back so he would be the first one Lance saw when it finally passed. The stress of the examination, then a room full of scents... plus the one thing that could make Lance feel safer than he could being denied to him, everything had piled up. As Lance continued to seize, Keith hit the call button, afraid when it passed the 30 second mark  
“Everyone out, now!”

Seizing until he lost conciseness, they were all evicted from Lance’s room so the hospital staff had space to work. Kosmo a sad mess as he collapsed across Keith’s feet, Keith leaning against the wall, closest to Lance’s room. Being pulled away from his husband never sat right with him. Lance needed a solid presence with him. He didn’t feel safe being unconscious. They weren’t fond memories for him...  
“Is this... are they always that bad?”  
Right. Colleen. Colleen hadn’t seen Lance’s seizures. Pidge was pulled up against her, Pidge teary eyed as she nodded at her mother’s question. Taking a deep breath, Keith shook his head  
“No. Not always. The one he had earlier was smaller. He... uh, has seizures from brain damage. He did have a device in his head that seemed to work, but... since he gave birth...”  
Beside her, Miriam was just as shaken as Pidge. Shiro had his arm around Curtis who had his hand to his mouth. Jorge was wringing his hands, and Keith was left with the realisation that he and Shiro were the only ones who knew how to approach or deal with Lance’s seizures. His heart still clenched with panic each time Lance seized, but he couldn’t pin point the exact moment that they... they didn’t stop being scary, but he had accepted it...   
“Is there anything they can do?”  
“They’ve stopped... they aren’t... They’ve stopped plans for surgery, and I think he’s supposed to be on anti-convulsants. They’re... waiting on Coran and advice from Altea”

Being on the outside of his own husband’s medical care sucked quiznak. Colleen’s questioning came from a good place, but he wasn’t equipped to answer   
“What does Lance say about it? Surely there’s medication he can take to control them?”  
“Lance doesn’t like taking pills. They... uh, make him gag. He’s placed me in charge of his medical care. He’s not been lucid enough to discuss things, really. He also doesn’t like the idea of having something in his head... Maybe now we have the boys he might consider it?”  
Not immediately. Lance needed to calm and bond with his boys first, but they’d have to work something out. If Lance seized then that held the risk of their sons possibly being injured in the process. Keith had no idea what’d been in Lance’s head as he asked? for his papi  
“Keith, do you mind if I look into this further? I have a few ideas on how to help”  
Keith nodded at Colleen  
“You should talk to Daehra. She’s been treating him, even made a compound he could drink like a shake. He had something put in his head on Erathus when he had surgery... but now... I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. They haven’t told me anything”

Why was he getting teary? Hadn’t he just told himself he’d accepted Lance’s seizures? Before he knew what was happening, Keith found himself pulled into a hug by Coran. Careful not to crush Hunter between them, Coran kissed his hair in a classic move he’d seen the older Altean do to Lance a hundred times. Kosmo whined his annoyance at being forced to move the whole few centimetres to avoid Coran’s feet  
“We’re working hard to figure out what the next step is for young Lance. He suffered quite a bit of damage down there, as you know. He’s going to need surgery to repair the internal damage, then surgery to repair the external damage. I’m waiting for a reply from his obstetrician. Erathus seems to have remarkable surgical capabilities. If we can perform one procedure rather than a series, I feel Lance’s prospects will be greatly risen. When all hope seems swallowed, remember there’s always a ray of light to be found. You’re a father now, Keith. Though I wish you’d considered “Coran”, Hunter and Laith are both fine names for the sons of fine young men. Lance has been through worse and made it through. You’ll see”  
“I-I know... it’s... it’s not fair. All he wants to do is hold his boys. He should be allowed to. He went through... he went through so much. He hates being in hospital. He hates everyone seeing him like this... He hates being treated differently here... He doesn’t feel wanted here. He’s so scared he’s a burden and they all think he’s a freak. It’s not fair. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be for him”  
Coran hushed him, Keith knew he’d overshared but he was angry that his husband felt that way  
“When he’s more lucid he’ll understand. In the mean time, this little one needs his father”  
Keith wiped at his teary eyes, nodding as he moved to take Hunter into his hold. His son was way too adorable to be his child. So small and innocent, staring up at him without a care. How they’d created something as incredible as their boys, he’d never know  
“I know. I’m sorry... I just...”  
“You hate seeing him this way. We all do”  
“Yeah. Dios...”

Moving to his side, Shiro wrapped his arms around the three of them  
“He’s going to be ok. Curtis and I might go. He’s had a big day and he’s clearly overwhelmed. You need to take a shower and get some rest”  
“I’m...”  
“You’ll be more help to him when he wakes up, if you take care of yourself. He’d be the first to tell you that you stink”  
Keith snorted  
“Thanks for that... Thank you... I’m sure he’ll love the balloons once he’s calmed down”  
“We know he will. I’ll bring you something for dinner, and check in with you then”  
Curtis cleared his throat from behind his boyfriend   
“We’ll bring you something for dinner, and something fresher l wear. We can swap out, so Lance won’t be alone when you shower”  
“Can you bring a couple of extra shirts?”  
“Sure. We’ll see you soon”

When Shiro and Curtis left, Colleen was the next to hug him. It was weird... he kind of felt like he was at funeral or something with all the hugging going on. Coran was beaming as he backed up to make space for Mrs Holt   
“I’ll research further into herbal medication that will help with his seizures. I’ll let you know what I find. If you two need anything, you let me know”  
“Thank you, Co-Mrs Holt”  
“You’re most welcome. When he’s up and feeling better, we’ll have a big dinner here on the base. There’s no need to rush it”  
Lance would hate it   
“Thanks... that sounds good”  
“Come along, Katie. You have a class to teach”

Wrinkling her nose at the use of “Katie”, Pidge wrapped her arms around his waist next  
“You call me. I’ll be back for my minions if you need any help”  
“I know... and thank you. Not everyone would steal a pod to help us out”  
“Not everyone has two great big idiots like you two for brothers. I have no idea how you managed to make such cute minions”  
“I don’t know either... They have to get it from Lance”  
Pidge released him, wrinkling up her nose as she did  
“Ewww... I’m out of here before you get all mushy. Babies are one thing. That look in your eyes as you gush about Lance is another. Later loser. Take care of my minions for me!”  
“Bye, Gremlin”  
Pidge flipped him off, the action not missed by her mother. The pair beginning to bicker as they headed the opposite way to Curtis and Shiro.

With the majority of their group now gone, Keith turned to Miriam and Jorge, Miriam giving a tired nod  
“I’ll be staying, at least until Lance is out of the woods. Jorge needs to get back to the farm”  
“I can take you, if you don’t mind?”  
Making the offer, Krolia patted Korra’s butt as she moved closer. Keith knew he had to go, but Lance would be upset if he didn’t get to say goodbye  
“I think it’s best you stay until he wakes up. He’s really missed you, both... I mean... I get it if you can’t... I...”  
English hard. His brain wasn’t doing the thunk. His tone was accusing, not asking, and not what he’d been going for  
“I know I’m an old man who thinks too much of his farm, but I’m not about to leave my son without saying goodbye”  
Miriam patted his arm  
“Now dear, Keith clearly didn’t mean it to sound as it did. It’s all over his exhausted face. We might take a few hours and get some sleep. You’ll call when he wakes up?”  
“Yeah... Seiz-Seizures like this take a lot out of him. He probably won’t be waking up until pretty late”  
“Ok, sweetheart. You call us if you need anything. Jorge, why don’t you lay Laith down once the doctor leaves the room? I know you want to keep ahold of him, but Lance wouldn’t be happy to hear you kidnapped your grandson”  
Jorge grumbled, Keith dared to say “playfully”  
“It’s his fault for doing such a good job. It feels like only yesterday he was tucked up like this...”  
“I know. They’re simply beautiful. I’m sure he’ll be happy for the help once things settle down”  
“We’ll both be... I... you...”  
Keith pauses to take a deep breath through his nose. He wasn’t going to stuff this up  
“You guys showed me what it was like to have a big warm family. You didn’t have to accept me... or even want me around... but you did. I... Shiro did his best... but... I didn’t know what it was really like until Lance... He... he’s my world and you’re both... You both raised an amazing son. You took me in. You showed me what it was like to have that. To be loved...”  
Miriam left her husband’s side, her arms warmed as she wrapped them around him   
“Mijo, we love you. You’ll always be welcome at our farm. You’ll always be part of our family. Lance choose you, and we can all see why. You’re a good man. You’re good for our son. He often talked about you, about how he missed you. I think he always wanted you to come find him, and I thank the Lord every night you did. You gave us our boy back”  
“I... I love you too... I didn’t mean to sound... I just knew Lance wanted both of you”  
“I know, Mijo”  
“When he’s... better, we’re going to come down to Cuba. He wants to introduce the twins to everyone”  
“I’ll make sure his room is ready for you both. You can bring Kosmo and stay as long as you want”  
Kosmo would love the space. He’d love chasing the chickens, and being able to roam. Mami wouldn’t be able to stop herself from feeding him treats, and Lance would love to see Kaltenecker again  
“We... we will. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying. Thank you for being here”  
“Anytime, Mijo. And not just for Lance. You’re part of our family. Don’t you forget that. We all love you, and we’ll all be waiting for you in Cuba when the time comes. Even Rachel and Luis”

A real family. A family who wanted him. Who didn’t lock him in the dark. Didn’t beat him for asking questions or standing his ground. A family that actually cared and wanted him. Accepted him, flaws and all. If his younger self could have seen this, he never would have believed it. Miriam loved him. She loved him for him, as well as loving him for being Lance’s husband, and the father of their children... He’d found a brother in Shiro, a family with the Paladin’s, and the place he belonged at Lance’s side. Lance might think he was a constant strain or burden, and sure they still fought, and things weren’t always perfect, but... but he was okay with that. He could do absolutely anything if Lance was by his side... even be a father to the two boys he’d thought he’d never have. Quiznak. The only reason he’d found a family in Voltron was because Lance was there. Lance who insisted everything had to be a competition. Lance the shameless flirt that was so desperate for someone to see him for him. Lance who’d carefully fixed the broken pieces of him one shard at a time with so much love that he could drown in it. His husband was the salve that healed his weary soul, that made all the chaos around them bearable. That always believed in him, even when he couldn’t believe in himself. Lance who could have wallowed in self pity over his seizures, but instead kept moving forward as he tried to shake the shackles of his traumas. He’d never be the man he’d been when he was a Paladin, but where any of them really? He’d changed. He’d grown. He’d fallen in love with his best friend and couldn’t ask for a better partner to go through life with. Maybe this was why he was crying? Not because Lance had seized, but because even though he had, their family remained by their sides. It wasn’t just the two of them against the world anymore. It was the four of them, and each and every one of their friends and weird little family they’d made themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Kosmo is like “they were in my dad, now they’re out my dad and now they make noises?! What is this magic!?”


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses. It wasn’t even writers block. It was work and my gaming addiction. I’m the shook it took me this long to deliver such a small chapter.
> 
> Anywaaaay. I was like it’s all gonna be about Lance and they’re gonna do the big talks. Then Miriam is like nope. It’s all about Keith. Keith, Keith, Keith!  
😤🤷🏼♀️

Over the next week Lance steadily improved. That had a lot to do with Daehra and less to do with traditional Earth medicine. Lance’s team had finally arrived, bringing the Talula when they’d come to Earth, Daehra had continued to make onboard improvements as she scolded them for giving birth in “such an unsafe place” and “where she couldn’t provide assistance even though they could have called her”, though that wasn’t what had helped Lance. As loathe as Keith was to allowed her, she’d given Lance a carefully measured half-dose of the golden painkiller in order to speed up his healing process after Lance’s doctors started lowering his pain medication. Whether something had come up about Lance’s history during their talks to Coran or whether they’d simply thought it time, Keith didn’t know, only that one day they were pumping Lance with painkillers and the next he was receiving a half dosage that left him semi-numb, but not numb enough to alleviate the feeling between his husband’s legs. His husband was left constantly uncomfortable, no matter the position he tried, Keith ordered to play body pillow in Lance’s pursuit for a pain free spot. Again, Keith wasn’t Lance. He wasn’t able to gauge how Lance felt from a physical aspect, only what his husband told him and he liked to believe that if Lance felt he was slipping back into bad habits that his husband would have told him as he’d done when he’d slipped up before. He and Lance both knew allowing pain medication to begin with would be risky, but didn’t have a good excuse to deny the medication without confessing. The half-Galra felt sick to his stomach for drugging Lance, as if he was no better than the vile bastards who’d hurt him, but he also felt... he felt relieved. The day after the injection his husband had woken able to move. He’d been able to hold his sons, both their boys, crying softly over how long he’d been made to wait for proper cuddles, or at least Keith thought he was as most of what his husband was saying was in Spanish. For hours Lance had sat there that first day, Laith and Hunter in his arms as he sang softly. Each time his scent would shift to an anxious sickly smell, he’d look up to Keith. With a soft smile, his husband would return it brightly as the marks on his cheeks grew brighter, tell him how happy he was, then look back to their boys and was back off in a world of them three of them. If the medical staff had noticed the unknown substance in Lance’s system, they hadn’t made mention of it, only that he was “healing remarkably well”, which Keith would take any day of the week over Lance in chronic pain... even with the possibility of the scarring causing future complications. He wanted to live in the now and enjoy the fact that his family was safe and happy.

With Lance healing nicely, the conversation had moved to when his next surgery was. The date settling two weeks later with the procedure taking place on Erathus. With the date then set, the medical team deemed it was time to work on Lance regaining strength and independence. He was still very weak, sudden movements made his flinch and without Coran in their corner Lance would have been sentenced to stay cooped up. His husband was allowed up to shower, with the use of a shower chair. Keith was allowed to “help” but when it came to Lance’s more intimate areas, his husband’s face had clouded with guilt as he’d whimpered away from Keith’s touch. He wasn’t ready to let anyone touch between his legs, nor was he any better at handling being examined there. With a returned consciousness of his surrounds sleeping had also become an issue. Keith had forced himself not to hold Lance every time he slept, not until after the injection. Sometimes he’d sit up waiting for the nightmares, other times he’d accidentally fall asleep, then wake to Lance softly crying for him. Kosmo had used the bed Krolia had gotten placed in the room more than he had, still very protective of Lance and growing gradually more and more protective of the twins. He hated hearing them crying, that was one sure way to get him off the bed and cowering under it, but their fur son was getting better. Lots of pats from Lance seemed to do the trick so well that Keith had started thinking maybe Kosmo was putting on act for more pats. The first time Lance had used the bathroom his husband described as “feeling like his insides were falling out his arse” and “he’d try again tomorrow”. Keith sympathised, unable to do anything other than wait outside under Lance’s orders. He was sure he’d ever want to use the bathroom again, much less look at a toilet the same way, if he’d been the one giving birth. Lance then looked ready to die of embarrassment when the medical staff enquired into what happened in the bathroom. Keith was sure if he could have been kicked out for the questioning he would have. Or at least Lance would have preferred he had his ears covered. Anything that meant his husband didn’t have to listen to the details. Walls had gone back up between them in some aspects, though he had to mentally agree that he didn’t need to know the exact details of his husband going to the toilet, only that he’d survived the encounter and nothing had hurt too badly or bled. They had enough to worry about without the toilet becoming some new mental burden. At least Shiro and Curtis weren’t there for the conversation. The Atlas had been called in to deal with the clean up from dealing with the rebel faction at the request of Kolivan. There were people that needed help with rehabilitation after the death of the faction leader. Krolia had asked if she should stay, but honestly Keith had been looking forward to being able to spend time with his husband and their sons. Miriam has already returned to Cuba, Daehra and Lucteal were also down there under the insistence of Marco. Today Pidge would be flying them down to rendezvous with Lance’s team, which was only allowed due to Coran’s insistance over Daehra’s medical skill, and assurance that Lance would be in safe hands. Now he was packing to leave, Lance’s room had transformed into something that wouldn’t look out of place in the most extravagant of gift stores, as Lance watched on with the corner of his lips turned down, neither of them would miss the Garrison’s medical wing, especially Lance who was still convinced they didn’t want him there. Despite being surrounded by expensive and extensive gifts, the only thing Lance really wanted in the space was their family.

*  
Lance knew they were going somewhere. He knew they’d had to have talked about it, yet he couldn’t remember. Just like he couldn’t remember his parents leaving, Marco visiting and whatever the details of this trip were. Keith was being overly attentive, struck by some kind of anxiety as he pushed the wheelchair Lance was being trying hardest not to be annoyed over being stuck in. Resting against his shoulders, his sons were both awake. Hunter was blowing spit bubbles against his neck, while Laith had a weak grip on the loose shirt he was wearing. 

They’d had to have talked about their boys, but again it was something he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember a lot of things, then other things he could only remember in fragments. He remembered giving birth. He remembered that’d hurt like quiznak, yet he couldn’t remember how’d he gotten to the Garrison. They’d said he’d had seizures, yet he couldn’t remember those. His head was busy, yet it was like watching an out of tune television with nothing sticking. He wanted to remember. He wanted to remember every single moment since their sons finally came into their lives. Maybe it was how mesmerising they were that was leaving him dopey to the rest of reality. They were both so tiny, yet so big. Wide purple eyes stared up at him like they knew he was their mother... father... whatever he was. Wide purple eyes so much like Keith’s that his heart clenched each time they stared up at him. They were amazing. So soft and pure, so warm and heavy in his hold. He never wanted to let them go... but at the same time... he was so fucking scared. Scared by the holes in his memory. Scared of having a seizure and... and forgetting that they’d even existed. Scared of having a seizure while holding them. Keith seemed to be the only one who trusted him to hold them. To hold them and to “help” take care of them. Keith was a natural with them. For all his fears his husband was amazing. He was gentle, so very gentle, someone had taught him how to change a nappy and how to bathe them. Each little cry was met by a fussing Keith. Lance knew he should be happy, and he was that the boys had such an attentive father, but... but it fucking hurt not to be able to be the one to hold them when they cried. Not to be the one feeding them as they drank down hungrily from their bottles. His breasts ached with the need to feed them, yet he wasn’t allowed and he wasn’t sure he knew why he wasn’t. All he wanted was to be the best father he could for his sons. 

Keith continued to fill the silence the whole way to the hangar, Pidge all smiles as he wheeled him over to where she was waiting   
“What took you losers so long? I could been there and back by now. And how are my favourite minions?”  
Lance hung his head. Was it his fault? He didn’t know if it was his fault... He didn’t know what they had planned, only that he wanted to go for another nap with his boys. Nudging his shoulder, Kosmo let him know he was panicking with a wet nose and small whine. He had the best fur son  
“You’re not funny, Gremlin. We’re late because you, and everyone else, decided we needed our own personal gift shop”  
Pidge wrinkled her nose  
“Booo! I’m hilarious. Besides, we couldn’t help ourselves, for a couple of losers you make cute minions. Buuuuuuuut, if you’re going to be like that I’ll send you the bill”  
“You’re still not funny. Lance is still healing and your lameness is likely to do him. Are we ready to go?”  
Pidge faked offence before cackling   
“Look at you making jokes. Being a father’s worked wonders for your personality”  
“Lance has worked wonders for my personality, haven’t you, babe?”  
Dropping a kiss on his head, Lance just hummed. It was as non-committal as he could get  
“Right. That’s enough love. Keep it above the belt guys. I love my new minions, but I don’t need another pair just yet. Time to get you down to Cuba!”

Lance’s head shot up, Cuba!? They were going to see his family? Why hadn’t Keith told him they were going to see his family? He wouldn’t have had to worry... Well, he would, but he’d be seeing his Mami again. He wanted to see his Mami. He wanted to see his Papi and apologise for all the times he made him worry when he was kid. The twins could finally meet his pop-pop and his abuela... and see Nadia, and Sylvio, and Juana. She’s be so big now. He hadn’t seen her in nearly a year. He’d barely talked to Luis... His brother probably found him gross. He kind of was. He wasn’t meant to be able to give birth. He shouldn’t be alive. He wasn’t meant to come back, but Allura has brought him back. He was back and now he had two children that’d be brandished as freakish as him. Maybe they shouldn’t be going to Cuba. He didn’t want to cause trouble for his family. He didn’t want his family on edge or splintering again. He didn’t want to make trouble there if everyone was happy. He didn’t want to put his Mami in the middle of things. Wherever he went he’d be causing problems for people. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to go to Cuba... He just... he didn’t want to be a burden  
“Babe? You ready? Mami says she’s got everything set up for us”  
So he was the last to know? Or had he known and forgotten? Dios. If he wasn’t so stupid he’d know. If he wasn’t so stupid he wouldn’t be making Keith worry. He didn’t want Keith to worry. His husband was probably nervous over staying in Cuba with his family... Mami and Papi adored Keith, but if Veronica came home she’d pick a fight with him. She’d pick a fight leaving Acxa caught up in his family drama. Rachel... He honestly didn’t know how Rachel would feel. She was excited to be a tia. She wasn’t exactly maternal, but she loved her family fiercely. What if... what if she didn’t like the boys? Or what if she got mad at Keith because he gave birth in a “bad place”. Whining softly, Kosmo dropped to lay on his stomach beside the wheelchair. Recognising Lance was panicking before he had  
“Pidge, why don’t you fire up the pod. I’ll get Lance and the twins on board”  
“Finnnne. But only because if we don’t get out of here soon, mother dearest is going to track me down and make me go to class. You two have no idea how stressful it is working with your mother. She won’t even call me Pidge. Noooo. It’s “Katie, wear a dress”, “Katie, why weren’t you at dinner last night? Don’t tell me you were in your lab again”, “Katie! Don’t think you’re running off to space again without telling me where you’re going”, “Catherine! You’re supposed to be teaching! You cannot make your students double check the security protocols of illegally downloaded Coalition data”. Honestly. She’s as bad as Lance when he used to send me to bed”  
“Lance used to send you to bed?”  
Pidge’s rolled eyes bled into her tone  
“He sure did. He was all like “Gremlins need sleep too”, and “Pidge, don’t make me have Coran lock you out of your lab”. Pidge is going to start the pod. Don’t take too long, I’m hiding as it is”  
“We won’t. I just need a moment with Lance before we go”

Leaving them, Keith lifted one of their sons off his shoulder as he crouched down in front of the wheelchair   
“Babe? Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”  
Nope. Nope, he didn’t want to admit anything. Not when it’d hurt Keith. Resting their son on his shoulder, Keith placed his free hand on Lance’s knee  
“Is it Cuba? Are you anxious? Mami is ready for us”  
“I’m fine... just tired”  
He was. He was tired of forgetting things  
“You can have a nap when we get there. Miriam’s made up a room for us. She’s excited we’re coming down. Jorge was great with the boys. He even looked after Korra for Mum. He’s been really good with them and he’s really happy we’re coming to stay”  
They were? They both were? Keith hadn’t said anything about his siblings... Was Rachel even home? What would Lisa think?  
“Sorry... I didn’t mean to make you worry. I’m just... really tired”  
Keith seemed sceptical but let it slide, squeezing his knee   
“I know you are. Your body went through a huge shock, you’re alright now and I’m here. The drugs in your system really knocked you around, but we’ll be there for the next week, meaning plenty of time to rest. And these little boys are just fine too. We’ll take a nap together when we get to Cuba, Mami will probably have to fight Jorge for who gets the first cuddles. You just have to stay awake a little longer, babe, then we’ll nap. Okay?”  
Lance nodded... He wished he could feel as okay with everything as Keith did. He thought he’d be nervous but evidently not. He was sure he’d missed something there too. His family adored Keith, but for Keith to let them in, to accept he was loved and wanted... it was a huge step for his husband in all the right ways. Naturally his Mami would have shoved her love down Keith’s throat until he had no choice to accept it... Lance just wished he could remember the moment that Keith finally accepted he had a permanent Keith sized space in his family forever. Rising to his feet, Keith held his hand out to him  
“Let’s go, Sharpshooter”  
Taking Keith’s hand, Lance was sure he was going to regret this.

*  
The flight down to Cuba was uneventful other than the twins serenading then mid flight. Pidge’s love for “her minions” decreased as both boys wailed their discontent over the short trip. Being a seasoned pilot, Keith had grown use to the occasional and random “popping” of his ears due to pressure. His poor sons had never flown before, so were left unhappy with the changing altitude. No amount of hushing or bottom patting calmed them, Lance in tears as he rocked Hunter and reassured him that he was sorry and that he only had to endure the pain a little longer. Though the pod was small, Keith had hoped to maybe talk to Lance about his anxieties before they landed. Miriam was cooking a large family dinner for them all in celebration of Lance’s, albeit temporary, release from hospital. Rachel would be staying at the town house during their stay, not wanting to crowd Lance. Luis and Lisa would be there too for the evening, Nadia thrilled to meet the twins even if she didn’t understand how her uncle was now a father without a mother. It wasn’t exactly something that was easily explained away, especially when Lance still looked pregnant. He wasn’t exactly as large as he had been, but he wasn’t flat either. Tomorrow they’d be meeting with Lance’s grandparent so Keith had been sure to pack the onesies they’d been gifted. The half-Galra was quite sure that if it hadn’t been for Miriam’s love and support he would have been as scared as his husband seemed to be over their return. 

Landing the pod near the family farmhouse, Pidge was the first one out the door without comment, snagging the two bags Keith had packed on the way. Kosmo took some gentle nudging with his booted foot before his fur son sulked out the pod. Discovering freedom he teleported away from his crying brothers. Sitting in the passenger seat, Lance hadn’t seemed to notice they’d landed, let alone the door was open to where Miriam was rushing out to meet them. Marco yelling something in the distance as Keith awkwardly hung back, not completely sure how to proceed. His boys were screaming their lungs out, his instincts screaming just as loudly to protect them, yet his husband was a tangled mass of nerves. He only had two hands, and both were taken up trying to calm Laith. Their sons had been relatively quiet, much quieter than he’d expected, and this whole screaming thing had hit notes louder and longer than he thought two tiny babies could wait. Tears were already welled unshed in his eyes from not being able to take the altitude pressure away from his little boys. It broke his heart to hear them cry like they were. It broke his heart further that Lance was scared to come home, especially after he’d seemed so happy to before. Coming to his rescue, Mami didn’t shy away from a screaming Laith. Her gentle hand resting on Keith’s shoulder as she placed her other hand on Laith’s head  
“Oh dear, oh dear my sweet nieto. What is wrong my love?”  
“His ears popped with the change in pressure”  
It was the only excuse Keith had. The pod should have withstood the change in pressure just fine. Miriam sighed softly   
“Give him to me, he’ll settle down in no time. We’re all seasoned professionals here. Marco! Come help your brothers!”  
Taking Laith, Miriam kissed his beanied head, hushing Laith before passing him off to Marco. Pulling a face at his nephew, Marco left his nose wrinkled, Laith screaming louder at his uncle than he had at his grandmother  
“What did you do to him!? Was that daddy of yours picking on you? You come tell your Uncle Marco all your worries. I’ll protect you from your mean parents”  
Keith’s weird instincts were insulted at Marco’s joking. He knew it was a joke and he was grateful Mami had freed up his hands, but now he didn’t know how to approach Lance  
“His ears. Take him up to the house and get him settled”  
“Pffft. I do know how to take care of a baby. I used to take care of Lance”  
“And you never dropped him? Not even once”  
Marco’s cheeks reddened  
“It’s not my fault babies are so squishy. Keith, I’ll see you up the house. Star’s been talking all morning about your arrival”  
For a tick, then a second and third, Keith wracked his brains before remembering that “Star” was Daehra  
“You drop my son and I’ll drop you into the nearest star personally”  
Backing out the pod, Marco made a show of being careful. Now left with Lance, he didn’t want to take Hunter away from him  
“Is he alright?”

Asked softly, Mami was staring at Lance who still yet to move. The sigh that escaped his throat was an unwanted traitor  
“All new mums need some time to adjust. Would you like me to take Hunter?”  
“How do you know he’s holding Hunter?”  
Keith didn’t like to admit but more than once he’d relied on Hunter’s birthmark to tell them apart   
“A grandmother’s intuition”  
There was a touch of mischief in Miriam’s eyes leading Keith to guess she’d gotten lucky with her guess  
“I don’t want to seperate them... He’s... nervous about coming home”  
“Of course he is. You should have seen when we brought Luis home from for the first time. Jorge was tripping over himself fo make sure everything was baby proof and perfect”  
“If I hadn’t seen him with Korra and the boys I wouldn’t have been able to picture that. It might be better to just give us a moment? If that’s alright? He was pretty tired before we left. But he also talks more when he is... but he wasn’t talking so I think it’s more anxiety than anything...”  
That and his husband scent wasn’t exactly pleasant in such a small space   
“You take your time. Marco may act like an idiot but he’s just as good as Lance with the little ones. Veronica and Rachel are the ones with no patience. I’ve made up his old room, I thought a bit of familiarity would help him settle”  
Turning to his mother-in-law, Keith wrapped his arms around her. Miriam quick to return the brief hug. The action didn’t even cross his mind as being weird. He was happy to see her again. Happy she was still... that she was still her, no matter the change in setting  
“Thanks, Mami”  
“It’s quite alright. You boys come up when you’re ready. Pidge said she’s staying until dinner”  
“That’s probably because she’s skipping out on work again”  
“Oh dear. Colleen will be on the phone before I know it. I better give her a call and let her know”  
“Better you than me”  
Miriam gave a light laugh   
“Don’t worry, she scares me too. I’ll see you soon”

Left in privacy, Keith squeezed himself into the small amount of space between the pilots seat and passenger seat. Trying to crouch wasn’t going to happen, leaving him leaning awkwardly over his husband. Placing his hand over Lance’s, Lance was forced to stop patting Hunter’s back. His face downward leaving Keith looking at the top of his head  
“Babe, we’re here now. It’s time to get out the pod”  
Not responding to him, Keith tried a little louder. Hunter was making taking a careful approach hard with his vocal talents  
“Babe? Lance, can you hear me? We’re in Cuba”  
Jolting as if he’d been woken from a nap, big blue eyes looked up at him as tears raced down his cheeks  
“K-Keith?”  
Choking his name, Lance sniffled loudly as he continued trying to calm Hunter  
“Babe. Here, let me take him so you can get up. We’re in Cuba now”  
Lance turned his gaze back to their son, letting out a shuddering breath before hiding his face completely against their baby boy  
“He won’t stop crying... I-I’m sorry...”  
“It’s not your fault. They just didn’t like the flight down. Once we get them up to the house and settled they’ll be happy. Then you can have cuddles while you rest”  
Lance continued to weep for a few long moments, then finally shook his head  
“I can’t... I can’t... You take him... I can’t...”

Taking Hunter from Lance, the guilt on Lance’s face was too much. Moving to make space he’d had to move towards the open entrance so Lance would be able to manoeuvre himself out of the tiny cockpit. Waiting until his husband reached him, when Keith went to wrap his arm around Lance’s waist his husband slapped his hand away, before covering his mouth. The Cuban was supposed to be taking things slowly, yet that didn’t stop him as he fled. Striding after him, Lance refused to slow down. Passing through the open front door his husband was already halfway up the stairs by the time Keith made it to the door mat, careful not to walk too fast and jostle their boy, while also trying not to let Lance out his sights. For a man who’d been laid up in a hospital bed and then stuck shuffling around, Lance was far too spry for Keith’s heart. Disappearing completely, Keith waited for the thud of a slammed door, yet it failed to come. 

Rising from the arm of the sofa she’d been sitting on, Mami came to his side. Holding out her hands, Keith passed Hunter over to her semi-reluctantly. Laith, who’d seemed to have started to settle was drawn back into the screaming duet by his brother  
“Mijo?”  
Still watching the stairs more than his mother-in-law, Keith wanted to be up there right now. Feeling Miriam’s hand on his arm, he forced his attention to her  
“Sorry, Mami. He... feels pretty bad that Hunter didn’t enjoy the flight”  
Mami sighed softly, but not softly enough for it to be drowned out  
“That boy. He can’t control everything. They’ll be just fine once they settle. Will you check on him?”  
“Yeah. I need to make sure he hasn’t had a seizure... I might try and make him have a nap... It’s... it’s not easy listening them to cry”  
“It never is, but you can’t blame yourselves. They’ll cry, then sleep, then it’ll be like it never happened. Babies are like that”  
Keith swallowed down the lump in his throat. He felt quiznakking awful that they’d cried so hard. Lance had been off since before they landed, and now he was a wreck  
“Thanks, Mami. I’m grateful for you help. I have no idea what I’m doing”  
Miriam gave a soft laugh  
“You’re doing your best to muddle your way through this. Just remember, the only person who expects you to be the perfect parent is you. As long as you love them then you’re already doing your best. You’re part of this family now. You and Lance aren’t alone in this”  
“I know. I know you’ve told me enough times. Um... I’ll be back as soon as... it feels weird leaving them”  
“All parents feel that too. I promise they’ll be just fine. Let me work my magic and you’ll see”  
“I didn’t think you’d believe in magic”  
“It’s something Lance used to say. My magic made the pain go away”  
Keith felt the smile creeping onto his lips. He could picture Lance with a skinned knee and Miriam kissing the wound so the pain would go away. How he wished he’d known Lance when he was a gangly little kid. He wished he’d seen all those moments his husband was proud of and all those family trips he’d talked about  
“He’s always been smarter than he gave himself credit for. Can you let everyone know he’s ok, just tired and a little stressed from our boys?”  
“We all know what it’s like. No explanation required. Now off with you. I’ve got my two gorgeous grandsons to tend to”

Heading upstairs Keith checked the bathroom on the way, grateful to find it devoid of his husband. Following Lance’s lingering scent, he found himself at Lance closed door. Knocking lightly, so as not to scare Lance by suddenly throwing the door open, Keith then let himself into the room. The creaking of the hinges made it impossible to remain quiet, leaving him giving up the idea of a stealthy approach. Curled up on top of the covers Kosmo had found his way back to his human, Lance with his back towards the door and Kosmo with his head resting on the Cuban’s hip  
“Babe?”

Calling softly, Lance sniffled loudly in reply. Moving over to the bed, he didn’t want to startle Lance by shoving his way between his husband and their son, nor did he want Lance to feel pressured into talking if he needed to sort his head space out before he could find the words. Sitting himself down on the floor beside the bed, he rested his hand close but not touching Lance’s right hand. With another sniffle Lance took his hand and squeezed it hard  
“I’m sorry”  
“Shhhh. Hey, you don’t need to be sorry”  
“I couldn’t stop him from crying...”  
“I couldn’t stop Laith either”  
“I don’t know why he was crying. Did I do something wrong?!”  
Raising Lance’s hand, Keith kissed the back of it  
“No babe. I guess you lucked out and your ears didn’t pop when we left the garrison”  
Wiping at his messy face with his sleeve, Lance kept blinking at him through his tears  
“D-did yours?”  
“Yeah. I’ve been Earth bound so long my body forgot what it was like to catch a pod”  
Keith’s voice wobbled slightly, his joking tone fell flat as Lance cried harder  
“Hey, babe, what’s wrong? It is just the twins? Or is it your anxieties? You can tell me and you can tell me if it’s too much to talk about right now. I won’t be mad... Is your head all busy?”  
“R-red... oh god, I’m so s-sorry”  
Keith wanted to climb up and wrap his arms around his husband and kiss his pain away. Instead he forced himself to stay down on the floor, rubbing circles on the back of Lance’s hand with the pad of his thumb  
“That bad? Do you wanna take a nap? Marco’s got Laith and Miriam has Hunter. Both of them are calming now the feeling’s passed”  
Lance nodded, his bottom lip wouldn’t stop quivering   
“Okay. Do you want me to stay? We can cuddle?”  
Lance blinked at him again, not giving much away with his expression  
“I... I need to... need to calm down...”  
“I don’t mind going. Kosmo’s right here with you. And I’ll be right downstairs if you need me... but that’s only if that’s what you need. If you want me to stay you better expect the best cuddles of your life”  
“I... wanna... I...”  
“You wanna be alone. That’s fine. I love you and whatever your brain is telling you isn’t true. It’s being a total dick, because you’re the most amazing and beautiful person I know”  
Lance snorted than grimaced at the snot bubble  
“I’m sorry”  
“Enough apologies. You take your time”  
Taking his hand back, Lance slid it under his pillow. His husband seemed far too fragile as he tried to curl up further. Forcing himself up Keith found a blanket draped over a the chair in the corner, beside the cot he hadn’t noticed before. Retrieving it, the half-Galra tucked his husband in around Kosmo, before kissing him on the forehead. He’d have to wait a little while until Lance had fallen asleep then sneak back up to keep an eye on him. He didn’t want Lance to think he’d been abandoned simply because they were back in his childhood home. All of this sucked. Telling himself it was simply a hiccup didn’t make him feel any better about it at all. Lance needed to rest and recuperate, not be taunted by his traitorous mind. His whole family needed to rest. He’d never tell Miriam, but now he was left wondering if the cabin would have been a better place to let Lance have some breathing space. 

Returning down to the living room, Keith’s steps were heavy. His mind was upstairs with his crying husband, not downstairs with his no longer crying twins. Dragging his feet, Keith rubbed at his face, walking straight into the corner of the sofa. Making space for him, Marco moved from the sofa to the floor, sitting himself at Daehra’s feet. Daehra who now held a sleeping twin. With a slight stumble Keith sank down beside her, casting his gaze to his sleeping baby boy   
“He is fine now. He is sleeping and no longer feels pain”  
Blinking, Keith tilted his head  
“What?”  
“Your son is sleeping. He feels no pain. You’re worried about his ears but they both are fine now”  
“How do you... oh...”  
Daehra raised an eyebrow at him  
“Honestly, we leave you both unsupervised and you fall apart. Neither of you feel particularly happy with your current situation”  
“I’m fine, Daehra. Are they really not in pain?”  
“No. I’m simply saying this for my own sake, idiot”

Trust Daehra to call him out. Pidge was watching on silently. A little too pensively for their resident gremlin. Lucteal was pushed up against the sofa arm, as if trying to escape looking at the baby boy in Daehra’s arms. Miriam wasn’t in the room, having taken Keith’s other son with her. Most likely she was in the kitchen with Jorge, discussing Lance’s small breakdown. Lance would hate it. He hated being differently, even the thought was enough to send him into an anxious mess  
“You are thinking too hard. Here, take your son. You’ll feel better for holding him. It amazes me you both made it this far with how unstable Lance’s emotions felt”  
“You felt him?”  
Right. Empath. He needed to remember this. Keith had the feeling Daehra already knew what Lance was feeling better than he did  
“It was a smack to the face. How was he when you left?”  
As Daehra moved to offer him his son, Keith had to admit he did feel slightly less... whatever this feeling was, when he took him into his arms  
“Overwhelmed. He was a little nervous when we talked about coming down here today, but his anxiety went sky high when we left his room. He’s been... he’s been through a lot and I really thought this would help. He said he wanted to bring the boys down to meet the rest of his family...”  
“He seemed scared. He still feels scared. Are you sure it’s alright to leave him as is?”  
“He should be safe. He’s with Kosmo right now. Why? Do you think he’s going to hurt himself?”  
Daehra shook her head  
“I do not know. He felt scared and confused. How lucid has he been?”  
Then leaving him was the wrong step? Should he go back? He should... if it was him, Lance would have stayed by his side  
“Better than he was. Much better than he was. He was pretty out of it, but you saw that”

“He probably just needs a nap. You know. The human version of turning it off and in again”  
Piping up from his spot at Daehra’s feet, Daehra’s hand moved to sit on Marco’s head. A slight blush in her cheeks at the action. Turning his gaze up, Marco smiled softly at Daehra and Keith felt like he’d been hit with a bag of bricks. They were dating. They had to be. He might be rubbish at most human interactions but he was sure on this  
“I do hope you are right. Having one idiot to deal with is quiet enough”  
“Don’t lump me in the same category as him and don’t go making my nephew think I’m lame. That’s my job” I   
“You’ll do just fine. Keith, I’m sure you know what you’re doing. But I do think you need to speak with Lance”  
“I already planned too. I thought it’d be better if he took a nap first... How long have you two been dating?”

Daehra blushed hotly, Marco laughing at his question   
“What makes you think we’re dating?”  
“You called her “Star”. Daehra’s patting your head. She’s blushing worse than Lance does and out of everywhere you could have sat, you sat at her feet. Plus, you’re trying to laugh it off now”  
Marco rolled his eyes at him  
“Lance said you were terrible at social interactions. Me thinks my little brother has changed you”  
Keith hummed with a shrug. He couldn’t deny it, nor did he have the time to explain, or the words to explain each and every way his husband made his life better all for the him being in it  
“He has”

A few moments of silence passed, Marco then making a show of yawning as he stretched. Lucteal had been oddly silent the whole time they’d been sitting there, but when Keith thought about it it’d only been a matter of minutes really. It all simply felt longer as Lance wasn’t by his side where he belonged. Now he finally felt he had a place in Lance’s family, he knew he shouldn’t feel overly anxious about being in his husband’s family home, yet he couldn’t help it. Lance was his grounding force, and his grounding force wasn’t there where he should be. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He could continue to sit and hold his son, but he didn’t know how to make the conversation flow again. Maybe if Mami had been there he could have found his voice  
“You’re thinking so loudly. If you’re worried about Lance then go see him again”  
This time it was Pidge. Wearing an annoyed look, she looked up from whatever she’d started to do on her comms  
“Lance wanted some alone time”  
“I didn’t think you two knew what that was. I mean, you’re practically glued at the hip most of the time”  
“I...”  
It was true. He and Lance were practically always together  
“So what if we are? He said he wanted to be alone”  
“If you’re going to sit there and be a buzz kill you might as well be upstairs being a buzz kill”  
“I’m not being a buzz kill. I’m holding my son”  
“With a pining look on your face. Either sulk properly or go sit with him”  
Keith knew he was pouting but that didn’t stop him protesting  
“I’m not sulking”  
“Daehra, help me out here. Is Keith, or is Keith not, sulking?”  
“He does seem a little down”  
Traitor. He wasn’t sulking. He wasn’t. He just didn’t know what to do with himself without his husband by his side   
“Ha! Thank you. See, I was right. You’re sulking and you know it”  
“But I’m not?”  
“But you are. Now go see Lance. Take him a baby or whatever”  
“I just came from seeing him”  
“And you wanna go see him again”  
“He’s taking a nap”  
“Soooooo? When has that ever stopped you before? I clearly remember you stalking Lance when he ended up in a pod. You’d sit there and wait for him to wake up... and in the Garrison hospital. And probably a hundred other times. If you miss him, go see him”  
“You can’t kick me out the living room... Besides, what are you going to do? Sit there and wait for him wake up?”  
Pidge shrugged, she didn’t seem bothered about making herself at home in the slightest  
“Mami is talking with my mother. I’m a free woman until she starts blowing up my comms. It’s better than hanging out at the Garrison”  
“You’re just scared your mother’s going to lecture you for blowing off work again”  
“She’ll have to come all the way out here if she wants to. Otherwise I’m providing tech support... You know, making sure all your comms work in case there’s some kind of emergency and Lance needs an evac”

Pidge wasn’t just unbothered, she was proud of the lengths she’d gone to in order to hide from her mother. She knew Miriam would mother her, even keep her safe from Colleen by bending the truth slightly. It was another one of Miriam’s magical spells, the way she loved and accepted them all as if they were really her children. With Lance’s history with Pidge, she’d have every reason to dismiss Pidge, but then Pidge had stepped up. She’d stepped up and saved their collective arses after the birth... probably earning brownie points Pidge would be cashing in for years to come.

“I’m still not pouting...”  
Pidge laughed at his lameness, Miriam coming bustling along the hall. His second son up on her shoulder as she held him with one hand and years of experience   
“What’s going on in here, I thought someone was being strangled”   
Marco laughed way too hard as Pidge promptly shut up. Keith sucked his lips in as avoided laughing at situation  
“Keith was just leaving to take his son up to see Lance. Pidge was teasing him”  
Miriam cast a glance across them, deciding that nothing untoward was going on in her living room, then nodded over Daehra’s reply to her question   
“Oh good. In that case I might join you. These two will be due for a feed soon, Lance’ll have to get up whether he likes it or not”  
While it was true the boys probably would be, Lance hadn’t been able to breastfeed yet. They’d said the previous night that if he expressed then he should be able tomorrow, meaning today now with everything he’d been on clearing his system. He was still supposed to be taking antibiotics, and would be until his surgery, but now Keith wasn’t sure what to say because Lance hadn’t tried feeding and he wasn’t sure how his husband would take it  
“Uh... yeah. I guess... we’ll... um, go see Lance”  
Talk about peer pressure. It was the only thing he could do... even if it wasn’t what his husband wanted. He wanted to respect Lance’s wishes more than anything. He’d used his words and said it was all a bit much, so why shouldn’t he be allowed to rest?

Following Miriam up the stairs, Keith took it slowly, then again Miriam did too  
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to disturb him if he’s sleeping. I just wanted to pop my head and check he’s settled”  
Keith cringed   
“Was I that obvious?”  
“Just a little, Mijo. Now. I’ve been on the phone to Luis and Rachel. They don’t want to upset Lance if he’s not up for a big family dinner. Lisa was a little... she was a very stressed new mum. Put the fear of god into all the children. They’re both besides themselves wanting to see him, and meet your boys. Luis having a word with Rachel. If it was up to her she’d be up there harassing Lance already. Tell me the truth, how’s he really been? Has he been like this since I left? Jorge was going to come check on him too, but didn’t want him to feel too crowded”  
A lump formed in the back of Keith’s throat. Lance had been through a lot and a lot of it was a blur, not just for his husband but for him too  
“I... I don’t know. He was nervous and excited to come down. He asked to be alone so I was trying to give him space but the others said I was being a buzz kill and should go back to him”  
Mami laughed  
“You’re not a buzz kill. You’re a new parent. When they have kids they’ll understand. I know you always try to do right by my son, no matter how hard he makes it. How about a quick peak then we’ll let him sleep until feeding time”  
“Um... he, um... hasn’t had the chance to feed them yet... You're not mad are you? That they take a bottle? He wants to, I mean, I think he wants to but with everything that’s been in his system...”  
Keith never thought Miriam would face palm, and yet, she did. Right there on the small landing between the stairs going up and down  
“Of course. Silly me. I didn’t think about that. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it any longer. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with bottle feeding. Nothing at all. I’ve put a baby bath in the bathroom for you to use, and don’t worry about messing up the cot, or any of the bedding. And don’t feel like you can’t take a shower when you feel like it or help yourself to anything in the fridge. This is your home too... And Keith, if Jorge or I are too overbearing, it’s ok to tell us. I know you had a hard past, but we want you here. Jorge isn’t a man of many words, but I can’t describe how relieved he is that you’re in Lance’s life. He’d also never tell you this, but he recorded every moment broadcast of your tour. He’s bragged about you both down the farmer’s market so many times they’ve started to stop listening when he starts. Now this old bat is talking far too much. I know you boys have your scars, but we love you both very dearly”  
Keith was getting teary again. Mami loved so fiercely, and Lance was every bit as fierce   
“How... how can you say that... so easily?”  
“Because you’re family. Now, let’s check up on Lance before this handsome man start crying again”  
Lance had cried himself to sleep. He needed to calm down before dealing with the twins, but they seemed to have done the same thing as their father  
“The twins are sleeping...”  
“I mean you, Mijo”  
Oh... He’d definitely have to work on that. If he kept crying all the time no one would believe how happy he was to be a father.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did have a Luis scene planned buuut it didn’t fit the chapter now I’m wondering if I’ll just skip it for now and use it later... in my head we have two chapters to go... but I have like an epilogue planned sooo part 4 will be very short... maybe... you all know what I’m like. I can’t write short things to save my life.

The big family dinner Miriam had planned was pushed back to the following night so both Keith and Lance could get their bearings. Lance had slept through until dinner time, Kosmo appearing the kitchen to bark up a storm, letting Keith know that no longer was his husband sleeping but now needed him. Pushing his chair out with a loud scrape, he was running without explanation as he followed Kosmo upstairs and into the family bathroom. Curled up in the corner of the room, Lance was rocking as he sobbed, hands tearing at his hair, completely falling apart while he’d been stuffing his face with Mami’s delicious home cooking. Lance had been sleeping when they’d checked on him before, Keith tucking the blanket back around his thin shoulders as he drooled into Kosmo’s fur. Rushing to his husband, he gently tugged Lance’s hands away from his head, his husband repeating something in Spanish that he didn’t know, only that Lance seemed very intent on getting the words out. Fighting against him, Keith forced his husband’s arms around his waist before wrapping his own arms around Lance’s, nuzzling and kissing his hair as he hushed him softly, confused about how Lance wound up trapped in the corner when he’d been left sleeping. He’d either woken up in a panic or panicked over something in the bathroom, where it could really be anything or even nothing at all. Hiccuping softly, his husband cried harder, the same phrase being repeated. If Lance had been saying he was sorry, then Keith would have been able to soothe him, assure him that there was nothing to be sorry for. This wasn’t the first time he wished he was better with languages, or Spanish at least. He really should be getting at Spanish given how important Lance’s cultural identity was to him.

With his mind on Lance, Keith didn’t know Marco had followed him up. His brother-in-law standing in the bathroom doorway, Kosmo between them  
“He’s saying he’s scared”  
Jumping, Marco scared the Quiznack out of him. Keith growling in warning not to approach, succeeding in scaring Lance further as his husband nearly climbed into his lap. Moving his hands from Lance’s back, he cupped his face as his husband straddled his lap. With his eyes scrunched tight, tear after tear rolled down his soft cheeks, his bottom lip quivering as he continued to ramble  
“Babe? I’m right here, you’re ok. You’re ok, we’re ok...”  
Lance shook his head hard, his reply much louder and stronger than his previously mumbled words  
“Marco, what’s he saying?”  
He couldn’t say the right thing to help Lance if he didn’t know what the problem was  
“He, uh. He’s scared and confused as to why he’s here. And he doesn’t know where the twins are... or where you were... or what’s going on... Mostly he’s apologising for being scared”  
There was more to it. Marco was leaving something left unsaid and he could feel it  
“What else did he say?”  
“That’s pretty much it”  
“I can’t help him if I don’t know!”  
Raising his voice caused Lance to flinch as he whined softly   
“He’s upset... he’s... being hard on himself. Basically he thinks everyone thinks he’s dirty and a freak, and he’s a bad mother. We’ll father, but it’s complicated, isn’t it?”  
God give him strength. His husband was such an idiot  
“I’ve got him. I’ll take him back to the bedroom”  
“Are you sure? He’s... he’s saying... He’s sorry for existing and hurting the family... I haven’t seen him like this since Allura died... Not this hard on himself...”  
Marco sounded pained. Yeah. Lance had majorly fallen apart when Allura had up and left him behind. He would have happily trotted off after her. He respected why she did what she did, but couldn’t help but hate her for breaking Lance’s heart  
“It’s his anxiety. His head gets muddled easily when he starts to stress. Can you ask Mami to bring the boys up? I don’t think he’s up to seeing everyone right now”  
“I... ok. Yeah. Um... I’ll just go”

Lance grew marginally less tense when Marco left. Finally open his blue eyes, guilt has clouded their brilliance. Pushing a smile to his lips, Keith rubbed at the tear tracks with the pads of his thumbs  
“There you are... You're ok, Lance. You’re ok. I’m ok. I’m right here. I’m right here with you. I’m going to lift you up and then we’re going to the bedroom. We’re using your old room while stay here. Mami is watching the boys. They’re both sleeping. They’re both safe. We’re all ok”

Keeping his words slow and measured, he wasn’t sure how much his husband was actually hearing. His idiot was a complete and total idiot. He wasn’t some kind of dirty freak. He was the most amazing man Keith knew... more amazing than Shiro, despite what Lance may think. Sniffling, Lance seemed to want to make the effort to calm down now that it was the two of them  
“I love you. I didn’t leave. I didn’t go anywhere but downstairs. Mami made dinner, and the boys have been sleeping on the rug in the living room. We’ve all been watching over them. Nothing happened. Nothing went wrong. They’re ok”  
Lance’s breath hitched before a fresh wave of shaky sobbing started again. Drawing him up to him, Keith settled Lance’s face against his neck   
“Shhhh, baby. Shhhhh... you don’t need to be scared. It’s just me... it’s just me and you”  
“K-Keith...?”  
Lance had so many personalities. He had so many facial expressions and tones, but the almost disbelieving way he asked his name was one that always left his heart feeling as if it’d been flogged by a studded whip  
“I’m here. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere”  
“How... did we get here? Why are we here? They... Luis going to hate me... he’s going to... I can’t ruin things again... I can’t... I can’t...”  
“Babe, you’re not ruining anything. Pidge dropped us off. Don’t you remember?”  
Lance shook his head. Keith noting it down to his upset over their boys not enjoying the trip   
“That’s ok. You had a big day. I’m going to lift you now. That ok?”  
“I’m dirty!”  
The sudden exclamation drew a sigh from the half-Galra. Nope. He wasn’t sitting in the bathroom corner and having this conversation, nor was he sure he could actually lift Lance safely from the corner without panicking. Whistling softly, Kosmo came to his side, nosing his cheek  
“Kosmo, take us to the bed”

Teleporting then out the bathroom, Lance gave a squeak as they landed lightly on the bed. Clutching at him, Lance didn’t appreciate the free ride, panicked from the sudden movement. Kissing his forehead, Keith nuzzled into the spot, peppering a dozen more kisses as he tried to reassure Lance  
“Kosmo just moved us. There’s nothing to be scared of. You’re ok. You’re ok. Now you need to listen to what I’m about to tell you. You are not dirty. You’re not. Not in the slightest. You’re my husband. The father of our children and you had a major trauma. It’s ok to not be ok but I can’t understand if you don’t tell me. I love you. I love us. I love our boys and our family. I promise you, baby, you have nothing to be scared of. I’m right here, I’m right here and I’m not letting go”  
Lance hiccuped softly, the sniffled twice as loud  
“‘m sorry”  
“Shhh. You don’t need to apologise”  
“But...”  
“You have done nothing wrong. You woke up a little disoriented. I’m not mad. No one is mad with you”  
“But...”  
“Babe, nothing is worth being this upset. Especially when you have done nothing wrong”  
“IfuckeverythingupandIdon’tknowifIcandothisagain”  
Keith needed more than a tick or two to process the jumble  
“What do you mean?”  
“I don’t know if I can be... if I can be a parent... I don’t know why we’re here or how we got here! I don’t know anything!”

Letting Lance calm himself after his outburst, Keith didn’t know how to proceed next. He was trying to reassure him, but it was going through one ear and out the other  
“Oh, babe. Hey, of course you can”  
“No, I can’t! I can’t! I can’t remember anything!”  
“That’s alright. We can work through this”  
“It’s not alright! Everyone left and I can’t remember. We’re here and I can’t remember. I can’t remember... I can’t remember it! It’s gone! It’s all gone! It’s all gone...”  
Moving his hands, one hand went to rest on the back of Lance’s head as his other slid down and he looped his arm around his husband. What was he supposed to say to that? Lance had been pretty loopy, but he hadn’t thought he’d forgotten everything. His husband was far too upset to push this further, but would he even remember if Keith did?  
“It’s not all gone. It’s the drugs in your system. The medication. You said goodbye to everyone. No one was mad. You were sad but then you’d see our boys and you’d smile. You’re a great father”  
“Then where are they? Why can’t I see them?”  
“Mami’s going to bring them up, then we can cuddle and you can watch them sleeping”  
“But I won’t remember! Luis probably hates me! I’m a freak, Keith! And now our boys are saddled with having a freak for a father! My family probably hates me. Lisa is going to be disgusted. Rachel won’t want to talk to me. What do I tell Sylvio and Nadia? I’m not supposed to be able to have babies... I don’t want to ruin my family again. I don’t want to keep ruining things!”  
Starting to hyperventilate, Keith wasn’t ready when Lance suddenly threw up on him. Having not eaten anything since breakfast, nor had anything to drink, the contents of his husband’s rebelling stomach was minimal but enough to be kind of gross. Pulling away, Lance looked mortified as he covered his mouth, trying and failing as he threw up again. Trying to flee as Keith made to grab him, his husband tripped over his legs, landing on the floor beside the bed with a solid thump. There wasn’t anything particular funny, only the look of confusion on Lance’s face was... if it wasn’t a serious situation he would have lost it laughing. Climbing down, Keith lifted Lance under his armpits, his husband swaying in his hold, then promptly deciding he needed to faint against him. Quiznak. He’d wanted Lance to calm down, not throw up, fall off the bed and faint, in rapid succession. They’d only just left the bathroom and he didn’t expect they’d be returning quite so soon.

Having heard the thud, Mami let herself in. Jorge was holding one son, with Mami holding the second. Both opening the door in time to see Keith lifting Lance up to his chest, his husband’s head lolling back as he did  
“Keith!”  
“He fainted. I need to get him cleaned up... can you... I need... help?”  
Asking for help felt strange, but with vomit down his shirt and across the floor, he couldn’t juggle Lance and clean up at the same time  
“You take him to the bathroom. I think afterwards we should talk. Worry about him for now. I’ll send Marco to the bathroom with fresh clothes for both of you”  
“Thank you...”  
He didn’t need to explain it was a panic attack, not when Marco would have already done that. He would have also explained what Lance had said. Even if he hadn’t, Daehra and Lucteal would have been able to pick up all their feelings. For now he’d have to deal with this cherry on top of an already stupidly long day.

Stripping Lance and getting him into the bath, Keith had time to reflect on Lance. He knew his husband was forgetful. He’d been forgetful since before he’d given birth, then the combination of pain and medication had left him pretty empty headed. He just didn’t think Lance wouldn’t remember so little. Did his husband remember his first hold? Giving birth? Naming their precious boys? Did he remember Coran fussing? Krolia visiting? Shiro and Curtis being gushing godfathers? Or was all of that gone from him? And if it was, where did even begin trying to piece things back together? They had videos. Pidge had been so good about taking a ton of videos and photos. Everyone had a copy, even Shay, Hunk, Veronica, Acxa... hell, even Kolivan had a copy. But Lance... he’d lived it and he couldn’t remember it... and if Lance couldn’t remember coming to Cuba, he probably wouldn’t remember the panic attack either. Depending on how he felt when he woke, he’d probably be able to tell if he was left with a sore chest and feeling bone tired. Then Lance would slowly curl back in on himself, his anxiety would claw cruelly at the back of his mind until he started to implode... which was currently happening and he’d missed it thinking Lance was simply tired and stressed. But his husband had to remember. He remembered enough to remember he couldn’t remember. Just trying to untangle that sentence left his head aching as joined Lance in the bath. With husband sleeping against him, it felt like years since they’d had a moment to themselves like this. The thought immediately left him feeling like the worst parent possible. His children were with his in-laws because he couldn’t handle his role as a father. He couldn’t juggle both them and Lance and the feelings it blossomed in the pit of his stomach weren’t great. He was supposed to be on top of this. He wasn’t the one who’d pushed 12 plus pounds of baby out his butt without pain relief. Lance had done that. His strong and brave husband who loved their boys instantly, was no falling apart because he couldn’t remember... and he wasn’t sure how to fix this. He’d have to ask for help. He’d have to ask for help from Lance’s family and he hated that it made him feel about 10 inches tall. Lance thought he was ruining his family with his mere presence when everyone was excited over their boys... and even if they’d had a joyous reunion, Lance wouldn’t be able to remember anyway. Hiding his face against Lance’s shoulder, he borrowed a little of his husband’s wisdom while no one was there to witness, letting himself cry softly. When Lance was right, he was right. Sometimes you needed to just let yourself cry, and then everything would be clearer on the other side.

Rousing briefly as he cried, Keith only cried harder when Lance tried to comfort him. His husband holding his hands, telling him how “handsome and proud of him” he was and “that he loved him” before apologising for falling asleep in the bathtub, then falling back to sleep with his lips still against Keith’s hair. Lance was trying. He knew he was trying. So that just meant he had to try a little harder. If Pidge was still there, and hadn’t left during their time upstairs he had the start of a plan to help Lance remember. Yeah. Crying had inspired it, though they didn’t need to know that part. He’d just have to keep remembering for his husband, until Lance finally had a grasp on himself again. It wasn’t until Marco appeared that Keith finally found a way to smile. Knocking on the door his brother-in-law asked if they were decent. Which they weren’t. Despite warning him, Marco turned on the theatrics over the pair of them in the bath. Covering his eyes with their clothes, he held on hand out as he shuffled towards the bathroom counter, then pretending to trip, peaked out from behind the clothes. Only, he looked down instead of straight ahead, quick to covering his eyes, he prayed to the lord “to erase the memory of seeing his brother’s junk”, and “that photos of naked mole rats hadn’t been ruined forever”. It was so incredibly stupid and so very Lance that Keith couldn’t help but snort. Marco perking up at the sound, his expression one that Keith had seen on Lance’s face hundreds of times before. He was smug in his knowledge that he’d made Keith snort. As revenge Marco was sent to tell everyone to gather in the bedroom in 10 minutes. A poorly estimated time when it actually came to getting out the bath that they barely fitted in together, getting them both dried off, and then loosely dressed. Yeah. He was late to his own meeting.

Making space for him to carry Lance to their bed, Miriam pulled back the covers so Keith could settle Lance down against him. His other great decision was that he didn’t intend to sleep. Perhaps not the greatest for a new parent with twins that loved singing as much as their father, though were completely and totally out of tune. Ignoring the discomfort of everyone’s eyes on him, Keith got Lance settled with his head in his lap and an arm thrown across his legs. Fussing over tucking them both in, Miriam then stood back to join everyone looking at him expectantly. This was as bad as any planning and strategy meeting Keith had ever been forced to give, worse when it was twinged with the feeling he’d be betraying Lance even if it was to help him. Sighing, Pidge had no time for his antics  
“Marco said we all had to come talk. You’re not going to be all lovey and gross are you?”  
Thank fuck for Pidge. Her sarcasm the same as ever  
“Not quite... Um... So Lance had a panic attack and I think we should talk about it”  
The words felt clunky and not quite right. It was what he wanted to say... only it kind of didn’t sound right...  
“Go on, Mijo”  
Miriam gently encouraged him. Everyone in the room cared for Lance, and now he had a favour to ask all of them  
“If he knew we were talking about him, it’d only make things worse, but he said somethings and I kind of need some help...”  
Miriam looked positively happy at the prospect of being able to do something to help. The others simply nodded at him  
“We talked about what triggered his panic attack. We all know he was loopy in hospital but he didn’t remember saying he wanted to come see everyone. He didn’t even remember Pidge giving us a lift down here. With how upset he was, I doubt he’ll even remember us talking tonight”  
“He doesn’t remember? How much...? Does he...”  
Miriam was as shocked as Keith had been to hear Lance didn’t remember  
“He... he basically freaked out over how everyone was going to react to him having given birth, and that he couldn’t find the twins. I had a think about while we were taking a bath and I have a plan to help. Pidge, I need you to put a translation app on my comms. I can’t understand him when he’s so upset that he’s talking in Spanish. I also need you to make a folder on Lance’s comms, like on the home screen, with all the photos and videos you took while he was at the Garrison. Daehra, I need you to hook him up with an IV and if possible give him a scan. That way he can see that it’s the medication that’s left him muddled. Lucteal, I need you to help me keep an eye on him. He sometimes sleep walks, and if he slips out while I’m sleeping Kosmo will go with him, but I need to know if that happens. Mami, I know the others want to meet the boys but Lance is terrified he’s going to cause the family to split. Tomorrow I was thinking if we take the morning slow then have them come around lunch it’ll give me time to talk him. Jorge, he’s really missed you so maybe you can talk him into feeding the animals with you? Or something around the farm, nothing too strenuous though”  
Marco couldn’t help himself  
“And what about me? Do I get to do something cool too?”  
Keith chuckled at his brother-in-law’s enthusiasm, he tried to look serious and failed completely   
“You have the most important job of all. I need you to be yourself. Make jokes, tease him, whatever you two normally do. Act as buffer between him and Rachel though he’s more nervous that Luis and Lisa won’t understand or think he’s... think he’s abnormal. Even if he can’t remember we do. So maybe try not to mention the hospital too much? He didn’t remember everyone leaving or saying goodbye. I think if he’s got access to what Pidge recorded he can watch it over and over and see he hasn’t done anything wrong. And it’s important that he holds the boys lots. He’s been up and down in the hospital but he’s been more settled with them near him. He was pretty shattered that they kept crying and he didn’t know why”

Keith’s make shift team all nodded, Keith knew they’d be on board if they understood   
“Is there anything else we can do?”  
Trust Mami to want to do even more, there was one more thing   
“Colleen gave him some medication that should help with his seizures until we head to Erathus. I was thinking maybe Daehra could examine it. The shakes she made, made it easier for him to take his medication. Pills still make him gag. But, he shouldn’t have a seizure. If he does, all you can do is wait for it to pass. Make sure he’s no in danger of hurting himself, and if he comes too, don’t touch his hair, face or wrists. His normally really disoriented after them, the same with his panic attacks. If he’s awake, make sure you talk to him softly and keep your hands where he can see them. If he’s unconscious you need to check his mouth to make sure he hasn’t vomited. I was... I was thinking maybe something like pancakes for breakfast. He’s allowed solid food again, but they’re soft and he shouldn’t feel too self conscious about eating. The best thing we can do for him is act like the attacks haven’t happened, and not fuss. That only makes him worse... oh... if you want to cuddle the boys that’s fine, but he kind of needs to know where they are. It’ll help settle his anxiety about being back with his family again...”

Running through his mental list, Keith was sure that was everything, or at least the main points. Letting his fingers rest on Lance’s hair, his husband was the most important thing in the world to him. That wasn’t to say he wasn’t madly in love with his twins, it just meant that he couldn’t do any of this without Lance by his side  
“Of course, Mijo. Anything you need, you let us know”  
“Thanks, Mami. I know it’s pretty early but I’m going to stay with him in case he wakes up. I... know it’s all a lot to ask, but... but I really want this week to be as relaxing as possible for him”  
Miriam dabbed at her eyes  
“And it will be. We’ll all do our best to help... is... will he get better?”  
“Better” was a loose term that Keith really didn’t like the weight of. Lance had brain damage that left his emotions all over the place. He couldn’t recover from the damage but he could be happy  
“Once things settle down, I’m sure he’ll feel better. It’s mostly the paranoia and anxiety from not having seen everyone for so long. He really wants to see everyone, he’s just so fu-damn scared of the outcome that he’s built it up in his head. That’s why I thought a slow morning would be best”  
“It sounds perfect. He shouldn’t be pushing himself as it is. Jorge, I’m sure you have some small job Lance can do with you. Marco, make sure you don’t annoy him too much”  
“Pffft, didn’t you hear him, Mami? He wants me to be my usual charming self. Keith, man, we’ve got this”  
“I... I know you do... He’d hate that I said any of this... but... I don’t know what else to do”  
Jorge cleared his throat, the way he liked to do before he spoke  
“He’s our boy. You gave us back our boy. Don’t you ever feel you can’t ask. Not just for him, but for you too. My son married a good man when he married you”  
Keith had hit his limit of people complimenting him  
“I... thanks. I know... it’s not... never mind. Thank you. I married a pretty good man when I married him too. He’s come so far”  
Pidge clapped her hands lightly   
“He’s about to get all mushy again. It’s time to get out of here before he starts listing everything he loves about Lance. They’re both hopeless. Keith hasn’t even realised he has an auto-translate program on his comms. A wonderful auto-translate program co-designed by the Blades and by the Garrison to help alien settlers adjust here. Nor does he seem to realise that every photo and every video has already been sent to both their comms. Now, thank me and I might tell you how to work it”  
“Thank you, Almighty Pidge. I fear your technical brilliance, but can you please set it up for both of us, or I will torment you with you everything I love about Lance”  
Pidge pulled a face and stuck her tongue out, hands covering her ears   
“Don’t threaten me like that. It almost makes me wish I was at the Garrison, but I’ve got to start young training my minions to be more useful then you two idiots”  
“Yeah yeah. We know you care about him too. No one just pilots out in the middle of the storm for people they don’t like. You can’t hide it, Pigeon, you like him too”  
“That’s lies and slander. It’s all for the sake of my minions”  
“Says she who ran away from them crying!”  
Lance whined against his leg, silencing them as they waited to see if he’d wake. Holding their collective breaths until his husband didn’t wake. Mami couldn’t stand still any longer. Smoothing out nearly invisible wrinkles on the bed, she looked a little constipated as she said  
“We’ll leave you in peace. Call us if you need anything at all. Even if it’s to watch the boys so you can get some rest”  
“Thanks, Mami. But we’ll figure that out when it comes to it... maybe hearing them will help?”  
“Of course... of course...”  
Jorge came to place his hand on Miriam’s shoulder   
“Come on, Miriam, let them get settled. We’ve got our own parts to play, and Keith’s well equipped to handle this. We’ll see you boys when we see you... Oop, better put these two down for the night... Don’t want to make your... Say, Keith. Does Lance prefer mother or father?”  
Keith felt a surge of love that Jorge would ask as he attempted to respect his son  
“Father. He feels really conflicted over his body. He doesn’t know how to quite accept himself when he’s just given birth... but he prefers father”  
“In that case we should get these two to bed before their father wakes up. We’ll leave a couple of bottles all set up downstairs for you. I know what it’s like staying up with the rejected lambs. Regular feedings... and that”  
Mami huffed  
“They’re our grandsons, Jorge. You know how to feed a baby. Now, let’s give them some peace. Come on everyone, we’ve got things to do and dinner to finish. Keith, would you like your plate brought up?”  
God, yes! Miriam’s cooking was amazing. Not “Hunk’s kind of amazing”, but amazing in its own right”  
“That’d be great. Maybe Lance will want some when he wakes up...”  
“I’ll make sure to make him a plate too”  
“Thanks, Mami”

*  
Keith tried to stay awake. He was up to feed the twins three times before he finally fell into bed with his husband and practically passed out. Hunter was being fussy, and Laith left his nappy so dirty he’d needed an bath to deal with all the mess in there. Nappies shouldn’t allow the poop above the waist band. Someone needed to do something about that, because how the quiznak had his son gotten poop up to his hair wasn’t something he could answer. Snuggling up, he spooned around his husband. Lance automatically pushing back against him, shivering at the differences in body temperature, yet still seeking his hand like he liked to do. Fuck. He deserved this. They both deserved this. He’d missed all Lance’s little quirks that came with sleeping beside him, that came with holding him. Yeah, he was a sucker for his husband and holding him just felt so right that all he wanted to do was sleep with him.

When Keith woke next, the spot beside him was empty. The early rays of the morning sun bathed the room in shades of pink and grey. Patting the bed sleepily, he found no signs of his husband, his first instinct to worry before rationalising that Lance probably needed the bathroom after Daehra had insisted on running two bags of saline seeing how dehydrated Lance was. With his eyes feeling gunky, and sticky, Keith crawled out of bed, immediately hissing at the coldness of the wooden floorboards beneath his feet. It wasn’t quite jacket weather, but it wasn’t not jacket weather either. Goosebumps erupted across his bare flesh as he crept his way over to where both his baby boys were still sleeping. Lance must have gotten up and tucked them both back in, as Laith liked to kick at his blankets when he woke. It wasn’t as if his son could really move them, but both tiny boys were tucked in too neatly. They were barely over a week old and already ready to take on the world. Leaning over the edge of the crib, he kissed both their foreheads fondly, before leaving them to sleep as he stumbled his was across the bedroom while rubbing at his tired eyes.

With Lance not in the bathroom, Keith let himself panic. Kosmo would be with Lance, wherever he was, yet he’d sworn he wouldn’t fall asleep on the off chance Lance had woken before and something like this had happened. Rinsing his face, he shuddered at the cold water in the taps, the groan of the pipes echoing how he felt about it all as shivered his arse off, then had to pee thanks to running water. Cold hands on his junk never felt great. Everything below the belt felt like it was trying to crawl up inside him to seek some kind of warmth. Fuck. He really should have grabbed a jacket, but that meant doubling back to the bedroom, and the floor was far too cold for that.

Wandering down to the living room, the room was dark with the curtains undrawn, sounds of life were coming from the kitchen, so Keith forced himself to shuffle along and not seem too eager to see his husband. Pottering around the stove, Mami wore a long thick pink dressing gown over her nighty. Pink slippers on her feet with pink curlers loosely in her hair to complete the look. Turning around and catching sight of him, she clutched her chest as she swore in Spanish. Keith didn’t actually know if she was swearing, but if he had to swear in a court of law he’d definitely swear she did  
“You scared me, Mijo! What are you doing up? You were up half the night with those little boys”  
“Um, have you seen Lance?”  
Miriam nodded with a smile, going back to the fry pan she was getting ready   
“He’s been up. Came down to find him feeding the twins. He wasn’t up for talking, but he let me help with them. Jorge just had him out helping with pens before you came down”  
Lance hadn’t sleep walked off? Keith knew he’d asked Jorge to include Lance, but that was before the morning threaten to freeze both his toes and his balls off  
“He was... did he seem okay?”  
“Happy to be with the twins, but a little distant. He wasn’t up for talking, but he was all smiles for his boys. He’s just headed off for a walk with Kosmo. We tried to keep him around the house, but... he seemed to feel he needed to take a walk”  
Kosmo would keep him safe. If he felt Lance had wandered too close to danger he’d bring him back   
“Thanks, Mami. I’ll go find him”  
Moving towards the door, Mami took him by the arm  
“Not like that you’re not. You haven’t even put your boots on. No, no. You go upstairs and get something warm on you, while I make you a nice thermos you and Lance can share when you find him”  
Shifting his gaze down to his pink toes, Keith nodded. Walking around the farm bare footed was stupid, especially when the grass would still be slick from the night air   
“Oh. Right... I... will you be ok? Should I do something to help before I go?”  
“Don’t you worry, I’ve been cooking in this kitchen so long I know it better than I know the back of my hand. You go bundle up, and don’t you worry about those boys of yours. Marco can get his lazy arse up and play uncle while you’re gone”  
“It just... they’ll be ok?”  
Mami patted his arm. Keith didn’t want to leave the boys alone. He felt like a god awful father for how many time’s Mami had stepped in to help them both out  
“I know you’re worrying, but you’re not leaving them. You’re taking a walk, not going to the moon. They’ll be just fine. Lance already fussed all over them”  
It wasn’t that... it didn’t matter how much he fussed over them, they deserved every ounce of fuss they received...  
“Go on, go get dressed. Let me handle things on this end. I’ll wait until you come back, then I’ll whip up a batch of fresh pancakes for us all”  
“If you need any help...”  
“Then I have a whole household of lazy bones to help me. Go talk to Lance”

Returning to their room, Keith kissed his sons again before finding warm clothes out of their luggage... then kissed his boys again before getting dressed. If it was warmer then he’d be tempted to take them with him. But then again, he didn’t know what state he’d find Lance in. He had to be prepared for Lance not to remember. Changing into something warmer, he paused to grab a blanket for Lance, then found himself drawn back to his baby boys. Three morning kisses weren’t enough. They were so quiznakking perfect. Laith looked positively grumpy as he slept, face all wrinkled up as if he was an old man. Hunter had a loose hold on his blanket, sleeping away peacefully despite Keith kissing both their foreheads again for good measure. He loved them. He loved them and hated leaving them. He never wanted them to find themselves in a situation where he wasn’t right there to kiss away their tears. Feeling the growing itch for cuddles, the half-Galra forced himself away from the cot. Lance first, then family cuddles. Yeah. Lance would love family cuddles. With a last wistful glance, he forced himself out the bedroom door. Lance would have made sure they were fed and changed. His husband was fantastic with them, even if he didn’t believe it for himself.

When Keith returned to the kitchen, he found Jorge had come in from his chores. A large steaming mug in his hold as he fiddled with the old radio in front of him  
“‘ morning, Keith. Mami said you were up. Looking for Lance?”  
Keith forced a smile, his boys would be fine. They’d be fine and for now he need to focus on Lance  
“Yeah. Mami said he went for a walk?”  
“Yeah. Took that wolf of yours with him. I think he’s headed up to see Allura and his friend”  
That was a heck of a hike. Lance was supposed to be pacing himself and working up to a walk like that...  
“Ah... ok. Thanks for that...”  
For the millionth time, he was grateful to Miriam. Pushing a thermos at him, she flashed him a faked look of something that wasn’t quite anger. Her eyes were too bright for it to have been anger  
“Go on, shoo! Get out of my kitchen and find your husband, and don’t come tracking your muddy boots back through my house”  
Taking the thermos with his free hand, the warmth was welcome against his fingers. Somewhere along the line, he’d stopped wearing his half finger gloves and he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when. Maybe it was the same time Lance finally felt comfortable to show his hands more? Or maybe it’d been since the explosion. Whenever it was, he regretted not having that extra layer of warmth  
“Thanks, Mami. But I can’t make any promises”  
Miriam huffed a sigh  
“Great. Our one chance at a civilised child and he’s turned into an ordinary family member. Now shoo already. Go have that talk”  
Making “shooing motions” with her hands, Keith gave nod, then slipped through the kitchen to the fly wire door, letting himself out into the frigid morning air.

*  
The walk up to where Allura and Kre’el rested was unfairly refreshing. The cool morning wind left his throat parched and his body feeling alive. The sounds of the animals waking, the feel of the soft grass beneath his boot, the way the colours dyed the sky... He was becoming much more of a homebody as right now, he couldn’t picture being anywhere apart from right here on the family farm. After a prolonged internal argument he decided to take his time as he walked, to let Lance enjoy the same sights and sounds, and seeing he was already too late to watch the sun creeping over the horizon, he may as well aim for tomorrow in that respect. With a few attempts in the wrong direction, he needn’t have bothered his slow pace, Lance was already settled by the time he reached him, absorbed in the small screen of him comms as he sat shy of the two graves upon the hill. Kosmo wasn’t in sight, but Keith knew he wouldn’t have wandered far. Coming up behind his husband, Lance looked up at the sound of his footsteps. Sitting down behind him, Keith placed the thermos down before wrapping the thick blanket around his shoulders and gathering Lance against him, his husband leaning back into the offered warmth, though Keith was cold to the touch. Not that it’d stay like that for very long. The cloud cover was already sparse, the day would turn out warm, yet hopefully not too humid. Resting his chin on Lance’s shoulder, Keith let out a long breath, enjoy the simple privilege of being able to cuddle his husband   
“Hey, you”  
Smiling, Keith quickly kissed Lance’s cheek  
“Hey, yourself”  
He wanted Lance to come to him in his own time and on his own terms. He didn’t need to tell Lance he was worried or missed him, because his husband already knew  
“You should be sleeping”  
“I was, but I missed holding you”  
“You great big softy”

Letting the conversation lull, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Lance had discovered the folder Pidge had put on his home screen. Watching his husband tapping on his comms, Lance was scrolling through the countless photos Pidge had taken at the hospital. He’d never admit, but she’d gotten some amazing shots of them both with the boys, and some even better ones of Lance with them  
“Keith. I think we need to talk”  
There it was. Knowing it was coming didn’t stop his stomach from dropping and his heart skipping an uncomfortable beat  
“Sure, babe. Anything you want to say, I’ll listen”  
Lance took a deep breath, releasing it slowly, then followed it twice more before finally nodding   
“I... I think somethings really wrong with me and I’m scared”  
That Lance was calmly, mostly calmly, telling him spoke volumes  
“What’s going on, babe?”  
Lance sighed deeply, Keith snuggling him closer  
“I’ve been... I’ve been watching these videos. I’ve been looking at these photos and I can’t remember. I can’t... I don’t know how we got here. I don’t remember coming home. I don’t remember saying goodbye to everyone. I want to see Curtis and Shiro and I don’t even know where they are. Did they bring us? How long have we been here? Have... have the others met the boys? Stupid... of course they did. Did they bring us in the Talula? I can’t remember... I can’t remember and it scares me... What’s wrong with me?”  
“Nothing, baby. Nothing is wrong with you”  
“I can’t remember, Keith!”  
There was the fear   
“I know”  
“How!? What... oh... we’ve talked about this. We’ve talked about it and I’ve forgotten that too... tan jodidamente estúpido. Soy tan jodidamente estúpido...”  
From his wrist, Keith’s comms piped up, automatically translating for him. They both jumped at the sound of the unknown voice   
“So fucking stupid. I'm so fucking stupid”

Lance buried his face in his hands as he tried to draw himself into a ball, Keith wanting to smack himself for not thinking about the translation program and the effect it might have on Lance. He also wanted to smack himself for letting his husband think so lowly of himself  
“You are not stupid. You are my husband and I love you”  
“I can’t remember!”  
“And getting upset isn’t going to help. Yes. We talked about it, but you need to give yourself a break”  
“It’s our boys, Keith. I can’t remember the first days of their lives. I remember holding them, but... do they like me? Have I been a good m-... a good father to them? I remember giving birth to them, so why can’t I remember that week? It’s... how can they love me?”  
“They do love you! Babe, stop it. You’re amazing with them. I’ve been there. I was there when you were in hospital. I was there when you held them”  
“Then if it happened, why can’t I remember? I feel like I’m looking at photos of some stranger with your family... some stranger holding our sons”  
Lance wiped at his face, Keith couldn’t see if he was wiping away tears or just trying to rub some warmth into us cold cheeks. He’d thought about this. About what to say  
“Can I ask you a question?”  
“What?”  
“How much of withdrawal do you remember? That time we went through it together to get that blue stuff out of your system. How much do you remember of that?”  
Lance’s tone was cool as he asked, Keith knew it had to sting to bring the past up, but he also knew Lance needed a little help making the revelation on his own   
“Why are you asking about that now? Are you ashamed? Because I was messed up junky?”  
“I’m not ashamed, but I want you to really think about your answer”  
“I don’t remember much of it... bits and pieces. I know I was horrible to you... oh, Dios. You’re going to leave me, aren’t you!?”  
Lance had been looking straight at that revelation and decided to sidestep it completely, being the adorable idiot that he was  
“Exactly, babe. You can’t remember most of what happened because of the drugs in your system. Your head was all over the place, but we got through that together. Babe, you were high as quiznak. They had to keep you on pain relief, even when I know you didn’t want to be. The reason you can’t remember was because of the drugs in your system. Not because you’re a bad father, but because our boys couldn’t wait to meet you and came a little earlier than expected. All you talked about was our boys. You loved them and wanted to hold them. You adore them and everyone can see that”  
“Then why could I remember then, when I can’t remember now!”  
“I don’t think you did remember. I think because you woke up and we were there, you knew you’d given birth and each time you saw someone, you wanted to show off our beautiful boys. You weren’t saying things like “yesterday”, you were talking about the future where we brought them down to meet everyone here. You also had a few seizures, which Colleen made a herbal medication to help with. You went through a hell of a lot to birth our boys, you need to give yourself a break”  
“I can’t take a break... they’re our sons, Keith. We waited so long. So many times they’re what kept me going and now they have me for some kind of messed up father and I don’t know if that’s good enough!”

Starting to weep, Keith used a little of his extra strength to get Lance up and into his lap, with his arse on the ground and side against the half-Galra’s chest  
“You are strong and you are fierce. You love our boys. You spent hours singing to them, talking to them, being lost in your own little world with them”  
“How do I know it was real and not the drugs?”  
“Because those drugs have passed through your system. You didn’t have to feed the twins this morning. You didn’t have to have cuddles with them. Those were things you chose to do”  
“You... I... you don’t get it... I don’t... I woke up this morning feeling... I was to see them. I didn’t want to wake you. I knew I had to have messed up because you looked so exhausted. I don’t want... I don’t want to worry you and here I am... I want to... I just want to be good”  
“For a smart guy, right now I’d let Daehra call your an idiot a hundred time’s if that was what it took to make you realise that you are the best man I know”  
Lance turned his face from the fresh morning wind, his nose cold as he hid against the crook of Keith’s neck  
“No... no... You. You’re the best man. I love you so fucking much but I don’t remember and it’s all so confusing. There’s this itch under my skin and my head won’t shut up... and now you tell me I was high and now I know that’s what I want... right now I want to get high and forget that I’m so fucking useless... forget that I can’t remember anything... it’s so stupid”  
“Bumps happen”  
“My bump made our two boys. What do I tell them? Your father forgot the first days of your life and wanted to shoot up because he couldn’t cope?”  
“You tell them that you love them. If they were right here, and you had the choice between our boys and shooting up, I know you’d choose our boys. And you know how I know that, because you’re not that person that everything twisted you into anymore. Your brain is trying to cope, telling you to run to what’s comfortable. I’m scared too. I don’t know how to be a dad. You’ve got to be patient with me too... because honestly I’m quiznakking scared I’m going to fuck this up”  
Lance shook his head  
“You won’t. You won’t... you’re... you’re amazing. You’re more amazing than you think you are. You’ve always been amazing... You’re... you’re my world. My accidental husband and I’m so grateful every single day that it’s you”  
That wasn’t playing fair. He was the one worrying over Lance, Lance wasn’t that one who should be comforting him. Not with those sweet words that made him feel... amazing. As if he could really do this  
“You’re amazing too, babe. I couldn’t... I couldn’t have gone through labour. I watched and I felt so useless, but you... you brought these two boys into the world and I... I can’t be more fucking proud of you”  
“I hate not remembering. I hate it. I feel like I’ve been stripped of everything again...”  
“I know, but you haven’t. You have all of us. And we all understand how scary it can be. Maybe you could start a log? Write things down? Take photos? I can do the same”  
“It’s... I don’t know. I feel so fucking lost”  
“You’re not lost. I’m right here, idiot”  
“You know that’s not what I mean”  
Keith shrugged, he did but that didn’t hide the slight smile in Lance’s tone when it came to “scolding” him  
“Do I? You know, for missing the sunset, the view is still pretty amazing”  
“You didn’t miss the sunset, you missed the sunrise. How did you even find me?”  
“Jorge said you went for a walk, so I took a wild stab in the dark”  
“He told you, didn’t he?”  
“Is it so bad that he did?”  
“No. No. I just... I wish I could remember. I don’t want to forget this”  
Other than the tears, I kind of was. The sun was slowly turning the world into its right hues. Lance was cuddled up in his lap and   
“Then I’ll remind you. As many times as you need. Now, have you told Allura all about our boys?”  
“I don’t know what to tell her. I don’t know what to say to Kre’el either. We never found her planet. It’s been over a year and we never even got close”

Kissing Lance’s hair, Keith hummed lightly, Kre’el was a topic that no amount of time would ease. He hated her, yet maybe even found a little sliver of respect for her along the way. Perhaps it was experiencing Lance’s pregnancy and the fact he wasn’t sure he’d be able to function if anything was to happen to one of their boys, let alone how it’d tear him to pieces to watch them suffer and die... He didn’t think he’d ever be able to move past the trauma of a loss like that   
“I know, but that doesn’t mean that one day we won’t. That one day someone won’t, and when they do, they’re going to know her story. I wish we could have too, but... maybe she would have been happier with how things played out? That you’re a father now, with two little boys that mean the world to us?”  
“Yeah. Maybe... sitting here... I started thinking about the last time my memory was this bad... about... how much...”  
Lance shook his head. Keith not knowing where he was going with what he was about to say  
“Whatever it is, you can tell me. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here to listen”  
“Can we... can we just sit like this a little longer? I don’t know what to say... it’s getting all busy again”  
“That’s fine. Mami sent a thermos expecting us to take our time. Our boys are happily sleeping. We can take as much time as we need”  
A few moments passed, Lance wriggling slightly as he got comfortable. Slowly his tears dried up, his weight melting into Keith’s hold  
“Keith?”  
“Yeah, babe?”  
“I love you. I don’t think I can forget that. I don’t want to ever forget that”  
“You won’t. Keith and Lance, neck and neck for life”  
“You’re such an idiot”  
“Yep. The idiot to your idiot”  
“It’d be nice if you weren’t quite this bad”  
“Nah. You’re fine the way you are”  
“You’re the fine one... maybe I just needed this?”  
“Anytime”

Watching the sunrise further, Keith decided to simply let his husband nap when he fell asleep in his arms. Lance had seemed a little nervous over starting a diary of sorts, so Keith took it upon himself. Using the same folder as the photos and videos of their boys, he created a sub folder, then fought his way through the struggle of creating a document inside. Unable to remember the date and having used all his effort in creating the document, the half-Galra simply titled it “One”. Skipping the previous day, Keith went about making dot points of their day so far. Lance waking before him. Lance feeding the boys and spending time with Mami. Lance deciding he needed to trek half the quiznakking farm so he could have some “alone” time. He wasn’t great at injecting humour into his messages, like Lance was, but he made the attempt. If worse came to worst, maybe Lance would find it sweet in a dopey kind of way. All he could do at this point was hope, and hope that his hard earned document had actually saved.

*  
Spending the morning with Keith eased some of Lance’s anxieties. He was in Italy disorientate from waking up in his husband’s lap atop the hill, but Keith was there to soothe him with soft kisses. He was in Cuba. He was in Cuba visiting his family and it wasn’t some kind twisted dream. He knew Mami would be fussing over the twins if they’d woken while the pair of them were absent, but that didn’t alleviate the anxiety building from neither of them being with their baby boys. Snippets of the conversation with Keith had lingered, his husband far too caring and understanding when it came to massive gaps in his memory. He didn’t understand how Keith could accept he’d lost a whole week of their lives, even though his argument over Lance being drugged up held credence. He’d seen himself. He’d seen himself and cringed over the fact no one had thought to gag his run away mouth. He felt stupid for the things he’d let slip, and somewhat lame over the whole thing. Keith made that better. His mental battle regarding how lame his husband found him was silenced by his husband’s sweet kisses. Keith knew. Keith knew and he still looked at him so tenderly it hurt.

With Keith supporting him they left the hill. His back wasn’t appreciative of how far he’d trekked that morning, nor was his right leg. If Keith noticed how much of Lance’s weight he was supporting he hadn’t drawn attention to it, for which Lance was eternally grateful. Plenty of people gave birth in far worse circumstances than he had, and as long as Keith touches weren’t sexual in nature, he could let himself enjoy his presence. He had the vague recollection of waking half hard and practically fleeing from beside Keith’s side, yet he couldn’t say if it was that morning, or some other time his memory had dragged out of the archives. Luckily Keith was too focused on the boys to think anything sexual... and... and that fed his anxieties also. He was scared. His heat would eventually come back. He and Keith would eventually have sex again, but the thought alone nearly sent him into a melt down. When Keith finally wanted to get intimate again, Lance didn’t know how he’d react. He’d tried so hard not to let fear rule his life, yet there it was like one of his ugly scars. He couldn’t hide it. He couldn’t talk about it. The last thing he wanted was to weigh more heavily on Keith’s mind when Keith should be enjoying every moment of being a father. If only their past selves could see them now. If only Keith’s younger self could see how much of a natural he was, then maybe they’d never have had those small hiccups of insecurity. His husband was the most caring and generous man he knew... which was yet another stone in the long road of anxiety woven through his brain. He shouldn’t have to feel like Keith was only staying with him out of obligation, not when Keith would have moved the whole universe if it meant making him smile. No. These were the thoughts best forgotten, if only his mind would let him, so leaving them unsaid was the best thing he could do for the ones he loved.

By the time they reached the farm house, Lance was sweating. His body felt cold, almost clammy, but with the sweat rolling down his brow he knew he had to be overheating from over exhaustion. It was a long wall at the best of times. He couldn’t even remember if he’d talked to Allura or simply slept in Keith’s arms. Maybe Keith had talked to her for both of them as he’d slept... but he wasn’t sure Keith believed that Allura’s spirit was out there somewhere. Wherever it was, it certainly wouldn’t be atop that hill at his family farm. Letting Keith take his boots off for him, his husband stole a surprise kiss before adjusting the blanket that’d been slipping off his shoulders. The smile on Lance’s lips was genuine, and a little out of shock. It felt as if Keith had read his mind when he’d stolen the kiss, that he’d seen him beginning to grow anxious over seeing his family for breakfast. Mami may want the best for him, but food was an issue after being on a liquid diet. He had to eat slow to keep it down, but in such a large family eating slowly meant someone was likely to poach your meal before you got there. Especially when it came to Marco who was a perpetual bottomless pit.

Walking into the kitchen, everyone else was awake. Marco had one of the twins in his arms, pulling stupid faces at the little boy, while Mami had his other son on her shoulder as she bustled around cooking what seemed to be pancakes. Daehra and Lucteal both sat at the table, Daehra laughing at Marco’s stupidity. He’d missed them. He’d missed them like crazy. He missed their adventures and he missed his outpost. Being with Keith was where he’d wanted to be, but that didn’t mean he didn’t long for the small slice of space he and his team had carved out for themselves. Turning from her place in front of the oven, his mother smiled at the pair of them, Lance itching to take his son from her shoulder. He wanted to hold him, but he also wanted to hide behind him. To let mothering his boy be his sole distraction from his family, that way he could still be there, yet he could work up to having the courage to interact with everyone, not just sit down and be automatically talked to  
“There you two are! Now go ahead and wash up, I’m making pancakes, the others already had their first round, and our little men have had two bottles each this morning. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, no it doesn’t, does it my handsome little man”  
Lance let Keith answer for both of them   
“Thanks for that, Mami. I’d forgotten how amazing the view of the farm is from the hill”  
“It’s not much, but it is home”  
Lance wanted to disagree. The farm had been his entire world. To him it was the most amazing place on the planet, followed closely by Keith’s shack and Curtis’s family cabin  
“No. No... it’s... it’s nice. Nothing at all like living on Daibazaal. Living there means a constant supply of black and purple, it all looks the same”  
Marco snorted  
“Is that why I hear you’re constantly getting lost?”  
““Directionally Challenged” is what Lance calls it. It’s not my fault that every damn corridor looks the same”  
“Riiiiight. I hear you also like getting lost at the Outpost, and on the farm”  
If Lance had been up to it, he’d have liked to tease Keith over getting lost on the castle too. Instead he kept his mouth shut and shuffled over to the sink as his mother turned to his brother   
“Marco, leave your brother alone. Keith, it’s fine dear. You’re part of the family, the farm is your family home too now”  
“I know, Mami. I’ll wash my hands then I’ll take him off yours while you cook”  
“Nonsense. Sit, relax. I’ve been doing this since before you were born. Lance was cuddler when he was small. He’d cry and cry if you put him down”  
“So not much has changed, isn’t that right, babe?”  
“Yeah”  
Lance’s reply came as low mumble. Memories of Allura coming to dinner came to mind. He’d so desperately wanted her to like him, that he’d been gutted when even his family couldn’t see him as anymore more than the unwanted, loud, obnoxious goof ball that he was. He’d been so embarrassed that he wouldn’t have surprised if Allura had changed her mind about dating him on the spot.

Breakfast was stressful. Keith managed to get Marco to hand over their son, Lance had tried to be enthused over his pancakes, but felt like an outcast as the others talked around him. Both Daehra and Lucteal were picking up on his emotions, and the more down he seemed to get, the more Keith seemed to try and perk him up. Lance appreciated his husband’s efforts, he did. He knew Keith was only trying to help by distracting him from sinking too far into his head, but it was hard when wanted to cuddle his boys instead of bonding with his family. Though having done nothing to warrant it, he felt emotionally raw, almost as if he’d confessed every little thing in his head to his family only to be laughed at, not knowing why he felt so exposed, he abandoned his pancakes, hands going to his lap where he scratched at the inside of his right wrist unconsciously. Why couldn’t he be holding his son? Why was he so jealous that his husband was holding their baby boy? Keith deserved this. He deserved to brag about how cute the little boy in his arms was. He deserved to laugh with the others over nappy changes, and late night feeds. He deserved to brag about finally being a father when he’d been in love with them and their tiny hands since the first scan. Dios. He was such a miserable loser  
“Babe?”

Nope. He needed to calm himself down. Whatever Keith wanted needed to wait. Closing his eyes, Lance scratched harder, the exact opposite of calming himself though he did rein in his breathing. He needed an out. He needed an out so Keith wouldn’t see how fucked up he was feeling. Lance didn’t understand how he could possibly feel so miserable when he had such a perfect little family. He’d already give his life for his sons, he’d give it a thousand time’s over for them and not blink an eye. It was just this bullshit petty jealousy that has bloomed in his chest like a noxious weed that was ruining everything. It spreading tendrils clutch at his lungs with it spiked limbs, it’s blooms choking his throat as it swelled into life. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to feel this way. Not when he was in Cuba with his family, not when this was their twins first trip to the country he loved so much. With a slight scraping Lance pushed his chair back, momentarily light headed as he stood too fast  
“Lance?”  
“I need a minute”  
Smooth. Way to not make everyone worry about him. He’d always been an idiot, and now he was the idiot stealing everyone’s happiness.

Fleeing to the living room, Lance threw himself down on the furthest corner of the sofa. Drawing his legs up, he drove the heels of his palms into his eyes, attempting to force that weed out with deep breaths. Keith adored the twins. Keith adored him. Keith adored both him and their boys. His family adored Keith. His family adored the twins. His family... liked him? No. No...   
“Lance?”  
Jumping at the sound of his papi’s voice, Lance wasn’t sure what to do. The Cuban still wasn’t sure as his father sat down beside him, slinging an arm over his shoulder and drawing him into a hug. Normally his Mami would be doing this, but the moment his papi pulled him close he melted against him  
“Papi... I’m sorry”  
“Now my boy, what’s there to be sorry about?”  
“Everything”  
His papi gave a weird kind of breathy laugh. Lance had been so close to him when he’d been a kid. He loved his Mami, but his papi had been his hero before Shiro had come along  
“You know, I don’t know much about what’s going on, but I do think that’s an overstatement”  
“Maybe...”  
At least it was an “overstatement” and not an “overreaction”  
“Now, I know your mother normally handles these kinds of things... but... I...”  
His papi was trying so hard to be there for him, the least he could do was throw him a lifeline   
“Papi. How did you and Mami do it? Raise all us kids? We... we were total shits”  
His papi hummed   
“You had your moments. Rachel was especially trying...”  
Lance snorted, then sobered. His blue eyes scrunched tightly against the unwanted tears  
“We all were. I don’t know how you and Mami did it. When I look at my boys, I can’t imagine letting them go off to boarding school, or fighting in an intergalactic war. I’m so sorry, papi. I’m so sorry for being a horrible kid. I’m sorry you thought I was dead. I’m sorry for coming back wrong”  
“You didn’t come back wrong. War changed you, but you were still my Lance. My little Lance who’d chase the chickens and hid all my tools”  
“All those times I made you worry...”  
“Are in the past. They are in the past, right? I’m not going to go out and find you’ve hidden my socket set?”  
With a wet laugh, Lance shook his head  
“No! No... I’m just so sorry. I missed you so much. I missed everyone so much out there. I had Keith then he left and I had no one... then Allura happened... I’d do anything for my boys, but I’m scared they’re going to end up where I was”  
“All parents worry. You’ll drive yourself insane if you stay hung up on the “what ifs”. It’s like when we get a new steer...”  
“Papi. You can’t compare this to a new cow...”  
“Now just listen...”  
Lance shook his head. He wasn’t about to let his father compare him and neutered cow in the same paragraph   
“I’m not a cow. You’re a good dad, but I don’t think a farming comparisons going to work”  
“Then I’m all out of ways to explain”

As he’d talked to his father, that unwanted weed had started to wither. His papi hadn’t said anything in particular, maybe it was the fact that they could talk? That his father wasn’t rejecting him after he’d given birth?

“Papi... I’m scared of seeing Luis and Rachel. You know how bad things got. You know how many times Mami fought with both of them because of me. I’m scared I’m going to drive them apart again. I don’t know how... how you kept the family together with me being like this. I can’t even picture Laith and Hunter fighting, but it had to hurt. I had to hurt to see me... with the drinking and everything I put you through... I don’t know how you can love me”  
“That’s... you don’t make it easy. Sometimes I must confess I did consider throwing you in the pig pen and hosing you down. Your Mami and I never lost faith in you, no matter what you did to drive us away. You’re still our boy. Our Lance. Don’t you worry about Luis or Rachel. Mami will put them in their places if they start anything”  
“She shouldn’t have to...”  
“All siblings fight”  
If Laith and Hunter fought like he and his siblings had then there was no shortage of hospital trips and smacked arses in his future  
“Are you saying I should be prepared?”  
“If they’re anything like you, you’ll be in for a bumpy ride. Not necessarily a bad ride... more like getting a slow flat tire...”  
“Papi!”  
“You and Keith will be fine. You’ve got a good man in Keith”  
He did. He truly did. That’s why these feelings were so hard to stomach  
“I know. He... I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. I was out of control and he brought me back”  
“Then why was it you seemed so hurt at breakfast? The pancakes were his idea...”  
“It’s dumb”  
“Let this old man decide for himself”  
His papi was right. He had decades more experience when it came to being a father... plus, he might understand what Lance was trying to say better than his Mami who’d laugh it off as “all new parents feel that way”  
“I... it’s... he... When we were small, how did you let Mami know you wanted to hold us? Keith’s so happy about being a father, but I want... I want to hold our boys too. He wants me to rest, but when he holds the boys instead of me, I just... it hurts. I missed a whole week of their lives and now... I feel like I’m an outsider. Did you ever feel like that? Like there was some bond between us and Mami that you couldn’t breach?”  
His papi sighed heavily   
“I did, especially with Luis. That’s not to say that it wasn’t the same with your sisters and brothers. We fought over it more than once. The way she’d hold you as she moved around the house. She wouldn’t even let me hold you to free up her hands. She’s been fiercely protective of all of you since the moment we first knew of you”  
His Mami could be like that. She was so full of love that she sometimes didn’t realise it was driving you insane  
“But... then how did you get through it?”  
“Practice. Talking. That need to protect never fades, but it does morph”  
“I don’t want to hurt him”  
“Keith would be thrilled to know you want to hold your boys”  
“He just... he doesn’t offer. Maybe he does and I don’t remember?”  
“He’s a reasonable enough man to listen to you”  
“I know... Papi, are you really sure that Luis isn’t going to be mad?”  
“He won’t. He’s had months to adjust to the idea, and you and Keith were on the television enough that there was no way he couldn’t see. Lisa was quite interested, her and Mami would watch together”  
“We were? I haven’t seen any of the footage”  
“Rachel was screaming how you got your own reality show before she did. I can’t say I don’t understand why cut ties with the Coalition. Those meetings seemed exhausting”  
“It was. Being in front of the cameras the whole time made it hard to relax. Keith isn’t great with crowds... and diplomacy... and talking... and talking too crowds...”  
“You both conducted yourselves very well... for the most part”  
“For the most part?”  
“There were a few scenes that as your father I didn’t need to see”  
“What do you mean?”  
“It’s one thing for your son to be pregnant. It’s another for the mechanics of said pregnancy to be discussed, and another thing yet again to see your son “making out” with his husband”  
Lance blushed so hard that even his ears felt warm. He wasn’t aware that they’d made out in front of the camera  
“Oh...”  
“Not to worry”  
There was a whole lot of worry... He’d stopped thinking about the fall out for his family. Aunt Sarah had probably had a stroke on the spot  
“It really doesn’t... doesn’t disgust you that I’m like this”  
“No”  
“But I’m supposed to be a boy”  
“You’re my son. Space is strange place from what I hear, but as long as you are happy and safe, I don’t care for the rest”  
“I love you, papi. I’m sorry for everything we put you through growing up”  
“I love you, too. I’m very proud of the man you became. I like to think at least some of it came from me”  
“Yeah, papi. It did... You’re the best father I could ask for, even if you use farming analogies far too often”  
“That’s what happens when you spend your life farming”  
“I know. I’m proud of you too, you know”

A tick turned into three, his papi then clearing his throat  
“Yes. Well. That’s enough of all this for now. Good talk, Lance. Are you coming back to the kitchen?”  
“I think I’m going to stay here. I want to enjoy being home again”  
“It is a nice home...?”  
Lance couldn’t really tell if that was a question or not. He felt like it was more of a statement, but the slight pause it left in the air had him wondering   
“Yeah, papi. I’d rather be here than in any of those palaces like the one you saw on TV. They were nice and all... but this place feels like a home. A real home. Have you... ever wanted to be out there?”  
“No, this old man is far too old for space travel. Where would I go? I have everything I need right here with your Mami”  
“Would you... maybe like to take a trip around Earth? I’d... I’d like to show you where me and Keith are going to live... and where we met Blue. You don’t have to. I mean, I know how busy you are on the farm and I’m probably going to forget even asking... but... I want to show you. I messed up so many things... I had so many things I wanted to do and say, but I messed it all up. I was so... angry... that she left me. I wanted to be her family but she did this to me. She made me this and I don’t know what I am anymore. I don’t know how Keith can still live me... and I don’t know how to keep living with all these regrets. I was in space, papi. That was my dream but the whole time I was up there I wanted to be down here with you and everyone else. I keep thinking how things could have been different. If Earth had never been enslaved. If we hadn’t lost the castle... I’m so tired of all these regrets”  
“We can’t change the past. If my son couldn’t find a way with all your fancy travelling, then it doesn’t exist. We’ll take that together. I’m very interested to make sure Keith can provide for you and your sons”  
“Don’t say it like that, papi. It’s a shack, but it’s also Keith’s childhood home. It’s where he was born. I want to raise our family there, where his life began...”  
“In other words it’s worse than Pop-Pop’s shed”

Pop-Pop’s “shed” was barely a shed. It was “converted” lay house with a patchwork of salvaged tin screwed down into the rotting beams. When the new chook pen had been built, the old had been fashioned into “storage”. Though it hadn’t really been storage, more some place to fiddle so he wouldn’t be covering the table in his projects.

Lance drew a breath. The shack wasn’t awful. He liked the space and feel of it. There just a few things they’d have to do to make it more kid proof... and water proof... and dust storm proof...  
“It... um... has character?”  
“Lance”  
“It’s not the greatest but it’s safe, and with a little love, it’s going to be amazing”  
“Room animals? We could sub you on our breeding licence. You and Keith could have a farm of your own”  
“Papi. The shack is literally in the middle of the desert. There’s not enough rainfall to make a farm work”  
“Ah, well. I’m sure with all these fancy gadgets there’s something out there. You let me think about it”  
Lance mentally sighed. Settling on the farm the first time hadn’t been what he’d needed, now he was going to be forcing Keith into a whole set of plans that may be contradictory to whatever Keith had planned for his shack and for his future  
“Ok, papi. But don’t go scaring Keith with farming plans. He’s a soldier. One of the highest ranked men in the known universe”  
“Ahhh... but before that, he was a boy, and now he’s a father. It’s time to settle down and enjoy your lives. Time passes and before you know it, you’ll be holding your own children like this”  
“Unless I mess up...”  
This comment slipped from his lips, Lance unable to take it back  
“You’ll come to see, every parent messes up. I missed up loads more times than your Mami knows about, and that’s ok”  
“You’re never going to tell her, are you?”  
His papi snorted, hand coming to ruffle his hair  
“No. You kids aren’t the only ones who still live in fear of her slipper”  
A few ticks passed as Lance simply shook his head. His papi was a smart man. Mami’s aim with the slipper was something superhuman   
“You’re a smart man. I told Keith about the pink slipper and he just doesn’t understand”  
“I like to think so. Give him a few years. When your twins are old enough to cause trouble, he’s in for a show”  
Lance’s automatic reaction was to say “I’ll smack her with that slipper if she even thinks about trying it”. The words died as he shuddered   
“You thought about smacking her, didn’t you?”  
“Yep”  
“And immediately realised your mistake?”  
“Yep”  
“So we can’t expect to see you wresting away that slipper?”  
“Nope”  
“That’s my boy”

Papi left him with those words as he went to retrieve Keith for him. Talking with his papi had lessened some of those awful knots in his stomach. Lance wasn’t sure why he had to apologise to his papi, it was more or less a compulsion each time he looked to him. Even though they’d grown apart after... everything... Lance found himself happy it was his papi who came to see him. He’d been such an awful person, yet his papi still loved him. He still believed in him. He wouldn’t be simply giving Lance jobs around the farm to keep him out the way, he’d be doing so so they could spend more time together. At least, that was what he was choosing to think... At least until he forgot the conversation.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith, I’m getting sick of you hijacking my chapters. Last chapter was supposed to be Lance’s. But no. You have to go and show off your character growth all the damn time and make me have to write another chapter because this one went over 8k before you could get your lazy arse into gear...

Cuba felt almost cruel as Keith held his husband’s hand. The week started slowly and Lord knows he nearly killed Luis over the dinner table, but Lance had bounced back so strong from those tentative first few days, by the fourth day he he’d finally gotten his wish to breast feed their boys, crying as he did which did all sorts of things for his heart as Keith panicked at the situation, only to find they were tears of happiness because he could actually do it. Now they were on Erathus, and Lance was recovering from his first surgery, with his second the following day. Taking the Talula, Daehra, Marco, and Lucteal were all staying at The Guilded Cage... the same place Keith was supposed to be right now. Visiting hours had long since passed, but no one had the heart to kick him out, though maybe they didn’t care he was there as it meant someone was watching Lance and his vitals carefully. The injection they’d given his husband to numb below the waist had triggered a seizure. When he’d come too, the situation had been explained to him carefully, to both of them really, by doctor that’d been Lance’s obstetrician. Technically she’d referred his case on to a close colleague, assisting where she could on providing pertinent information of Lance’s biology and the procedures they’d carried out on him before. The slow release capsule that’d been implanted should have lasted longer than it had, Lance’s quintessence burning through the capsule at an accelerated rate during the birth. Those were... mostly... her words, but given she hadn’t actually been there she could only work on theory. Lance had been pretty out of it, out of it enough to sob and beg Keith not to let them put something in his head. Now his husband was sitting there with a neat dressing over the small site where they’d attached some kind of electrical sensor that would essentially map the damage in Lance’s brain in a way ordinary tests couldn’t. Lance would be sleeping for the next 12 hours, meaning Keith could have left if he’d wanted and returned before Lance even knew he’d gone... but there was absolutely no way he was leaving his husband. He didn’t care if the staff remembered Lance from his previous visits. He didn’t care if Lance told him he should rest during the procedure. They’d quiznakking drilled into his husband’s goddamn head. He wasn’t moving. He hadn’t received Lance’s permission for the procedure. He’d acted on his own, knowing they couldn’t do anything about the tissue that may or may not have been removed, and that most probably they couldn’t do anything about the scarring without the chance of causing death, or at least permanent brain damage. His penance was to sit and watch. To stay by his husband side until he woke. Their twins were in the care of Marco... Keith almost snorting as he remembered the way Lance had completely overreacted to the news of Daehra and Marco dating. Yeah. His husband was a complete dork, and he’d never grow tired of it.

It’d come about the second day of their trip after Jorge and Lance had spoken. Naturally Keith and Miriam had kept their distance... In other words, Keith had stayed in the kitchen for all of 5 minutes, which he was exceptional proud of and was no easy feat, before going to rush off to find Lance. Catching his arm before he could go marching into the living room, Miriam had urged him not to interrupt. The wait had been even worse as they stood by the stairs. When Jorge had seen the pair of them spying towards the living room he’d laughed softly. The man’s large and weathered hand ruffling his hand as he wrapped an arm around Miriam’s shoulders. The contents of the conversation was a secret, though Jorge did say he’d been promised a trip out to the shack and that Lance could really use some time with their sons. With Miriam’s help, both boys were brought to where Lance was curled up in the corner of the sofa, Keith, once again parent of the year, all but shoving Hunter into Lance’s hold. Maybe wasn’t exactly shoving, but there was a slightly unnecessary amount of fake bossiness as he “made” Lance take Hunter. Lance’s best interests were in mind, his husband needed cuddle time and if offered he’d probably over think everything, and with his hearing far better than the average human’s, Keith may have heard some of Lance’s conversation with his father.

Taking the morning slow, Lance was too busy holding his son to fret. The Cuban seemed to have all but forgotten that Luis and Rachel was scheduled to visit. When they had arrived, Rachel had been weirdly... nice? to the point she seemed far too overjoyed to meet her nephews. Luis had had a smile on his face, congratulating them both... yet... He hadn’t brought his own three kids to meet the twins. He’d come without Lisa, then explained it away as they’d be coming later. That was Luis’s first mistake. His second had been when they’d moved into the kitchen for lunch. Miriam had cooked her heart out, leaving barely any space between the table full of delicious dishes. Fussing over Hunter, Lance ignored the food in front of him, Keith knew this would happen. It was why he’d taken their son during breakfast with the hopes Lance would eat. Not wanting to make a fuss or turn things into a big deal, Keith had taken Lance’s plate and begun serving his husband, skipping everything that clearly contained tomatoes and potatoes as he didn’t know how allergies that formed during pregnancy worked. Mami had a lot of mouths to feed, and though she’d made an attempt, Keith ended up placing a small pile of salad on his husband plate with a little bit off some meat thing. In an act of solidarity, he’d filled his plate similarly, ignoring how good everything looked.

This would have been fine. Everything was prepared and Lance would have been able to handle stabbing things with his fork. But Luis... Luis had to fuck it right up. Either being a dick, or trying too hard, Luis pushed his chair back and took Lance’s plate in his hand. Loading it up with a little bit of everything, the cherry on the top was Luis laughing at them both and stating “Lance looked far too thin”. Placing the plate back down, Lance bit his bottom lip, the table falling awkwardly quiet as his husband’s scent began to turn. Leaning in, Keith resisted the urge to nuzzle Lance’s cheek  
“Babe, we can just swap plates”  
“I can’t eat this...”  
“I know. It’s alright”  
Swapping plates drew Mami’s attention, even as Keith picked up his cutlery with the hopes of relaxing Lance’s nerves by eating   
“Is everything alright?”  
Luis answered for them, Keith’s cheeks burning as he did  
“Keith’s not letting Lance eat. No wonder he looks so sickly. He needs the calories”  
Miriam cast a glance to Jorge who gave a nod, before she continued talking  
“Keith, Mijo. Is everything alright?”  
“Yeah, Mami. It’s all sorted”  
“No, it’s not alright. I filled that plate for Lance’s sake”  
Lance flinched as if he’d been slapped, before hiding his face against Hunter’s beanie   
“Lance is still recovering”

Lance was right there. Keith loathed these kind of conversations, but Luis was being everything Lance feared he would be. Keith wasn’t sure why, but the man now seemed to also dislike him. It wasn’t his fault Lance had allergies, nor was it Lance’s, yet he didn’t feel he had to explain their actions. Having been on a liquid diet more of the food would probably be too rich to sit comfortably in his husband’s stomach. Forcing Lance to eat more than he could handle would only eventuate with Lance feeling guilty as he threw up.

“Whoa. No need to snap at me. I’m concerned about how ill my baby brother looks”  
Keith wasn’t aware that he had snapped. He’d thought he’d explained it away in his normal tone  
“That’s because he’s recovering”  
“Then he needs to eat and build his strength. He has so many options, but you’re controlling his diet. Lance would never choose a salad first without filling his plate with sides”  
Jorge cleared his throat, Luis looking to his father   
“You’re not agreeing with this are you? He’s treating Lance like a pet! He can make his own decisions”  
“Luis. That’s enough”  
The three words clearly got under Luis skin. Keith was gripping his knife so hard that he’d begun to bend the handle. Though it was socially unacceptable, the Half-Galra once again felt the urge to smack Luis. He had no right to upset Lance like this. Coming home had been a lot as it was. Mami was supposed to talk to Luis and Rachel about Lance  
“First he gets our Lance pregnant. My little brother, pregnant! Now Lance is sitting here looking as if he hasn’t had a good meal in the last 6 months, with him controlling what he eats. I thought Keith was good for him, but now I’m not so sure. How are you not worried?!”  
“I can’t eat this!”

Pushed over, Lance snapped. Keith could take the insults pushed in his face. He was doing everything he could to be a good husband to his partner. He has the love of Miriam and Jorge, but more importantly he had Lance’s trust. Pushing his chair back, Lance turned to Miriam for backup  
“What do you mean you can’t eat this? You’ve been eating this all your life. There was no need to swap plates. We are not going through this again. You’re not skipping meals while you’re living under this roof!”  
“I wasn’t skipping! I’m allergic! Don’t you talk to Keith like this. I don’t care if you hate me and consider me a freak! But don’t hate Keith, or our sons! I hate it when you do this, you’re not papi! Keith was trying to make sure I wouldn’t get sick. Even if he was controlling what I ate, I wouldn’t mind because he’s my husband and my faith is in him! Shhhh.... shhh, daddy’s sorry. Daddy’s sorry for yelling”  
Hunter wailed, Lance hushing him as Miriam climbed from her seat  
“What do you mean you’re allergic? Why did no one tell me he has allergies now?”  
Probably because Luis wasn’t Jorge. He might be Lance’s older brother, but he was definitely not his father. Coming over, Miriam placed her hand on Lance’s left shoulder  
“This is not how we behave at the dinner table. Keith, dear. Thank you, with so many mouths, I fear it slipped my mind entirely. Lance, Mijo, you eat what you can. Don’t go making yourself sick because you feel you have to. Luis, we do not treat our guests like this. We do not treat our family like this. Now, I want a word with you. And Rachel, you stop laughing at brother. Both of you can do the dishes”  
Rachel spluttered, Marco opened his mouth only to be cut down by Mami’s narrowing eyes. Closing his mouth, his brother-in-law wasn’t stupid enough to earn himself dish duty like his other two siblings.

Luis was red face when returned, they’d all heard him and Mami fighting over Lance. Luis seemed as if he was only seeing Lance as he had been. He yelled because he cared too much. He yelled because he didn’t understand Lance any longer. Their family Christmas had been nearly a year ago now, and so very much had changed. As Luis sulked over your his seat, Keith still felt the urge to punch him. Uncharacteristically, Rachel had held her tongue over Luis being taken off to be lectured, only complaining to Marco that it wasn’t fair she was the one on dish duty and he wasn’t. Daehra was quick to then volunteer Marco for dish duty, Lucteal huffing out a laugh. To Keith it felt as if they’d traded places, he was no longer on the outer circle of Lance’s family, and Lucteal was. It didn’t sit right with him, yet he didn’t know how to make Lucteal feel more included when all his brain was taken up worrying over his husband. Lucteal was there because of Lance. He hadn’t needed to accompany Daehra and Marco, his energy would have been better spent running the outpost, or at least visiting Yule if he needed a break from working. It was problem he was going to need to fix, but when it came to problems like this Lance was the expert.

Having been pulled back into line, Luis finally called to allow Lisa and the children to visit Lance and their twins. Nadia asked a billion questions over it all, barely stopping for breath between them. Lance seemed to perk back up around his nieces and nephew, not growing the least bit anxious as he answered all Nadia’s questions as if it was a perfectly normal thing to do. Lance had conceived with the help of a magical princess and Nadia accepted it, even though he wasn’t a girl which was promptly overlooked in her excitement when she was allowed to hold Hunter. Having spent most of the morning holding him, Lance was content to fuss over Laith. How his husband ever doubted his maternal skills, Keith wasn’t sure he’d ever know. Lance made it all seem so easy, despite battling his busy mind. With it all being so foreign to him, it’d slipped his mind that Lance would have done this a hundred and one time’s helping out his family. Luis never apologised for his outburst, not in any real meaningful way, leaving Keith still feeling bitter about it when they left, and somewhat bitter that Lucteal remained on the edge of everything. The one time Lance had sleepwalked, Keith had been there to stop him, meaning despite asking for his help, he felt as if he’d set Lucteal up with a dummy job. Jorge had roped Lucteal into helping around the farm in the morning but as far as Keith could tell the man hadn’t had much alone time with his friend. This second side to him had left him useless when Lance wasn’t in the room. His anger would flare back up into small fits of jealousy for absolutely no good reason. Heck, if Lance spent longer than 10 minutes in the bathroom he practically wanted to break the door down. But as Lance had improved the fits lessoned, they just needed Lance’s actual fits to get the message.

*  
Falling asleep by his husband’s side, Keith woke to a blanket being laid over his shoulders. Rubbing his tired eyes, Lucteal was staring down at him  
“Your friend’s arrived”  
Scrunching his brow, Keith was confused. He was supposed to be going to Daibazaal, not Daibazaal coming to him. He hadn’t told his husband that Krolia had contacted him, asking if he wanted to speak to Krystaal before he was reassigned. There was no way he could bring that conversation up when their holiday was all about Lance recovering  
“Hey, bud. Didn’t mean to wake you”  
Hunk? Why was Hunk here? That made no sense. 

As Keith sat up his back protested straighten after however long he’d been in his hunched position. Squeezing Lance’s hand, Lance was blissfully still sleeping  
“What are you doing here?”  
Tiredness left a slight edge to his question. Having not turned to Hunk, Hunk came to him, skirting around Lucteal to give him some kind of weird and brief hug  
“Shiro couldn’t come...”  
“He wasn’t going to...?”  
Trust Shiro to be planning things without telling him   
“This is hard to watch. Your friend came to the club without notice. I think Th’al scared him”  
Keith nodded. Th’al was good for that. Rubbing his thumb over the back of Lance’s hand, a yawn crept up on him, causing him to yawn his reply  
“Th-Thanks for bringing him. I didn’t know you were coming... that either of you would be”  
Doing that thing he liked to do when anxious, Hunk moved back, pushing the tips of both his pointers together. Keith was far too tired for a serious conversation, yet it seemed there was more to Hunk’s visit than simply being there on Shiro’s orders  
“Lucteal, can you sit by him? I need to get something to drink”  
Lucteal had the grace to buy his lie, though seeming annoyed as his sentences were clipped and too the point   
“You don’t need to ask. He’s my friend too. I know this hospital. Go talk with Hunk”

Hunk was a worrying mess. Keith was forced down to the hospital cafeteria to get that drink that Keith didn’t really need. Feeling a little stupid for having walked through the hospital with a blanket over his shoulders, he wondered if he was getting all the strange looks he was because of who he was, or if they thought him a patient. Shooed over to sit a small two seater table, Hunk brought over two cups of what was supposed to be coffee as Keith got settled. Sitting across from him, an awkwardness hung in the air. Taking a sip of the “coffee” Keith couldn’t help the face he pulled. It tasted like he’d tried to boil coffee in a pot and boiled it down death  
“Is Lance alright?”  
Humming, the question took a few ticks to hit his brain. Keith nodding as it finally did. The hum wouldn’t have assured Hunk. Hunk was sunshine and nerves  
“It looked pretty bad, didn’t it?”  
Smooth. That wasn’t reassuring Hunk  
“His head... what was that?”  
“He’s being monitored for seizures. He was supposed to go into surgery today, but the increase of pressure led to a seizure”  
“And the boys? They’re not here with you?”  
“I had no choice. Marco’s watching over them. They’re both doing great... I didn’t want them to be here”  
Not that the club was much better, but the club had security for both their boys and their friends  
“Ah, man. I didn’t see them while I was there... Pidge sent photos, Shiro’s been showing everyone who’d stand still videos of his godsons. But it’s not like, the same...”  
Taking another sip of his coffee, Keith didn’t know why he’d gone back to it. The second sip was worse than the first   
“Hunk, you’re not here for Lance’s sake are you?”

Moving his left hand up, Hunk scratched the back of his head  
“I... uh... not just for him. I mean, Shiro told me he had an appointment... I sent Lance a message and he got back to me yesterday. He didn’t mention he had an appointment today...”  
With how nervous and halty his friend was, Keith was getting the feeling it wasn’t just jitters but something deeper. Lance had never mentioned messaging Hunk, nor could Keith remember him having time to... Then again, Lance could be sneaky as quiznak when he wanted to  
“Hunk, whatever it is, you can tell me”  
“I know, man. It’s just.. it’s a lot...”  
“Hunk, you came all the way out. It has to be important. You’re not sick, are you?”  
Hunk hurried to hold up his hands, spilling his coffee as he did. His anxiety was starting to play on Keith’s own anxieties   
“No! No... um... it’s just... um... well, it’s Shay”  
No wonder Hunk was a mess. If it was his fiancé he turned to a ball of goop every time he thought of her  
“Is she alright?”  
“Um... Wewantohaveababybutwedon’tknowifit’sgoingtobepossible”  
Keith blinked at Hunk, Hunk flushed red as he took a deep breath, knowing that what he’d said was unintelligible   
“Shay and I want to have a baby”

Discarding his own coffee to the table, Keith grabbed Hunk’s right hand, channeling his inner Lance as he smiled  
“That’s great news!”   
“You think?”  
“Hunk, I know you and Shay will make wonderful parents. I bet Lance said the exact same thing”  
Nodding, Hunk still looked flustered by it all  
“He did. I know he had some trouble on Altea so I asked about who he saw here... and with you both being here...”  
“You came out to see if you could get an appointment?”  
“Yeah. Yeah... It’s not weird is it?”  
“Not at all. Lance had a lot of trouble on Altea because the obstetrician was a total dick. He was scared to see him. He was made to feel wrong and stupid. He didn’t want to go back and he didn’t want to be treated on Daibazaal. You should have seen how good his obstetrician here was. Made him feel at ease. That he wasn’t messed up or gross. You would think a male Altean would be more open to concept of a pregnant man. Even though she’s no longer Lance’s treating physician she still took the time to check on his case and offer her input into his surgery. She’s been great with him”

Keith didn’t know he was gushing. He didn’t mean to be gushing. He was just so damn proud of his husband and his sons. Starting to laugh, Hunk’s laughter startled him until his friend started shaking his head  
“Oh, man! Being a dad has changed you... You’d never say that before. Normally you get all grumpy when it comes to anyone near Lance”  
Keith rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms. He wasn’t that bad  
“That’s not my fault. Blame Allura”  
Blaming Allura sobered Hunk’s laughter. Scratching the back of his head again, Hunk’s voice was low and measured  
“You know, I never thought she’d do something like that. I’m glad you didn’t let him push you away”  
Their poor friend would have a heart attack on the spot if he knew the full details of everything  
“He tried. If you had any idea how hard he tried... He can be unreasonably stubborn”  
“Dude, he’s always been stubborn. I know he said it was fine... but do you think he’d be mad if I did make an appointment for Shay?”  
“No. Lance would be mad if you didn’t”  
“Maybe... Are you sure he’s going to be ok? The tour took a lot of out of him. Then he vanished with Curtis... when you were...”  
“Lance is going to be fine. Tonight they’ll collect data on his brain and the damage. Tomorrow they’ll plan their approach to the surgery and how we can stop the seizures. He doesn’t know, but I’ve booked an appointment for both of us with his therapist”

Keith expected Hunk to appeared shock, instead his friend smiled widely at him. After half a tick it started to feel somewhat creepy. It was just a therapist appointment. He’d thought maybe... no. He’d known that they both needed the appointment. That they’d both been through so much that reassessing coping mechanism would be a good start for them. Lance had grown so much better at stopping and breathing before proceeding. Just because it didn’t work all the time didn’t mean that it was something to give up on. “Red” may not be used as much, yet Lance knew if he needed to, he could use the one word to state he needed a break to breathe, or cuddles.

“I’m proud of you, man. I know that tour wasn’t easy on either of you. Especially with the man it ended. Did you... Do you remember what happened?”  
Keith shook his head. That was problem for tomorrow. He wasn’t sure what facing Krystaal might shake loose but he still wanted to understand why things had to happen the way they had. Why Lance all the others had to be hurt the way they’d been, and most importantly, why he had to miss so many precious weeks of Lance’s pregnancy   
“No. It hasn’t come back”  
“Maybe that’s for the best? As long as you’re all ok...”  
“Yeah. Maybe. I think I want to know. It really cut Lance up inside... I remember that it was going to be our last planet because of all the stress... but I think I need to know for both our sakes. I don’t want to leave the Blades with any regrets”  
Hunk took his coffee up again  
“So you’re really leaving? Or on a leave of absence?”  
“Leaving. At least, I’m planning on leaving for now. I’ve got Lance and the boys to think about”  
“Have you asked him what he thinks?”  
“Not really. The plan was to phase out of work before we even found out he was pregnant. Now... Now I’ve got my sons to think of too. I don’t want to... I don’t want to leave for a mission and never come back to them. Knowing mum, she’ll probably still ask for my input but for now, I’m happy just being a dad”  
“You’ll be a good dad... You and Lance have both come a long way... It’s still so weird that you... I don’t mean Lance is weird. I mean... I don’t think any of us expected Allura to do what she did...”  
“Yeah. We have... Come a long way that is. No. Some days I can’t... I just can’t understand how she could decide this on her own, and on the spot like that... It hasn’t exactly been easy to process”  
“Yeah, I get what you mean. My best bud just gave birth out his arse”  
Keith snorted lightly  
“Shiro showed those videos, did he?”  
Hunk blushed. That was yes. High Lance was hilarious, and cringy at the same time   
“I hope you don’t mind... we wanted to come see you both as soon as we found out...“  
“You had work. We understand. Lance was pretty out of it for that week”  
“Pidge mentioned that. She mentioned that his parents were there... and Krolia?”  
If Hunk was trying to imply or stealthily ask something, it went right over Keith’s head  
“Yeah. Jorge was fantastic with Korra. I was worried he’d be annoyed... But no, he was happy to hold her so Mami and mum could keep their hands free to help”  
“Mami’s always been good at adopting all of us as her own. We were all homesick out here, but seeing Lance with his family again... I was worried for him. Especially after Allura”  
“We were all worried after Allura”  
Hunk gave a small hum before silence fell between them. Feeling the need to do something, mostly get back to his husband, Keith downed his foul coffee before pushing his chair back. Taking the hint, Hunk looked down to his own cup before giving a shrug  
“I don’t want to know what they fed you on Daibazaal for you to be able to stomach this. I’m going to have to have a word with the cafeteria staff”  
“We both know you won’t. I’m going to head back up to Lance’s side. It’s probably too late to see about getting that appointment today, but if you see Th’al tell her to add your room to our bill. Her and Lance have some kind of arrangement seeing he’s technically the owner of the club. His surgery is scheduled for 11am Earth time, if you want me to come with you, I don’t mind”  
“What about the boys?”  
“Marco’s always said he was the best uncle ever. He and Dae are bringing them in so Lance can see them before he goes back under again”  
Then Marco would be staying at the hospital while Keith took both his boys with him over to Daibazaal... At any rate that was the plan. Telling Hunk that Lance’s surgery may be pushed back depending on the results from the overnight monitoring would only add to his friends worries. A night apart from them was breaking his heart, but right now they were safe and Lance needed him more. His instincts weren’t pleased his family was separated, even if it was necessary. The tick his boys were back in his arms, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to let them go again  
“So... do you think... would he be ok with a visit before? I don’t want to upset him”  
“Hunk, he’d be more upset if you didn’t visit. I know things have been... whatever they are, but you’re still like a brother to us. That hasn’t changed. I know he’s proud of you, and of you and Shay. These appointments aren’t easy, but trust me when I say she’s the only obstetrician I’ll ever trust near Lance”  
“That’s saying a lot. Alright. I guess I’ll head back to the club and see you in the morning”  
“Lucteal will probably walk back with you, if you’re interested. He and Th’al go way back”  
Hunk fiddled with his coffee cup  
“That’s alright. I get the feeling he doesn’t like me very much”  
“Nah. He’s like that with everyone. He hated me to begin with. He’s an empath so sometimes he gets a bit... grumpy”  
“I think Lance mentioned that before...”  
“If not him, then Daehra would have. This is a huge step for you and Shay, and we’ll help you guys out however we can”  
“Thanks, Keith”

*  
By some cosmic miracle Lance slept through the night. Confused over the morning fuss about his brain, Keith had climbed onto the bed to cuddle with his husband as they waited for the results to be processed. Still early, they took the morning slow. Soft kisses and cuddles as Keith avoided mentioning what had happened the day before. Lance had already realised he must have had a seizure as he didn’t feel anything weird around his butt, as he put it. His husband was far too smart for his own good as the first thing he asked the attending doctor was if he had the results of his brain scan. Something Keith had half selfishly wanted to keep from him until after they’d spent time with their sons. He didn’t want his husband going into surgery worried. He wanted to spend their time surgery as they’d had, cuddling and close. Happy with just a touch of anxiety over what was coming. Naturally he didn’t want either of them to be stuck with the unwanted seeds of anxiety festering, but that was only natural when the one you loved was facing surgery again.

Pulling up scans of Lance’s brain, Keith felt himself nodding along as the doctor spoke. A surgical option was possible, however, Lance’s brain had started forming new pathways around the damaged tissue. To perform surgery ran the risk of damaging his memory, as well running the risk of causing a surge of repressed memories to surface once the scar tissue was removed. Seeing his husband’s brain, and seeing the way his mind was working around the damage felt like something more out of a movie than real life. The best course of action would be a permanent implant at the base of Lance’s skull that would help to regulate the electrical activity of his brain. Lance instantly rejected the plan. Keith knew he would the moment the doctor had suggested it. He got it, he really did. Kre’el had placed that goddamn thing in his head. The idea of something else foreign there was something that Lance couldn’t cope with. Keith knew, and he understood, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t a huge part of him that was angry over his husband’s decision. The implant would prevent his seizures, meaning Lance wouldn’t have to live in fear of when the next one would hit. He wouldn’t have to worry about one hitting in front of their friends, or when he was alone with the kids. With time, he was sure Lance would have been able to live with it, once he’d seen the benefits. Once he’d seen how it would ease his anxieties and give him that peace of mind... But Lance wasn’t at that stage yet. Everything happening right now was too overwhelming for him as it was. Recanting his objection, his husband softly reiterated that Keith had control and permission to make all his medical decisions for him. Pills were out of the question, limiting that Avenue to the shakes Daehra had made. Colleen had worked her arse off to help develop pills for them, which Lance had taken despite the gagging side-effect. Dios knew how tempted Keith was to again ignore his husband’s wishes. To be selfish and to never have to witness his husband seizing again... but, he knew deep down, if he didn’t allow Lance time to adjust to their new lives as parents, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if the mental stress got to his husband, or if psychosomatic symptoms were to present he would be entirely to blame. It was a “no” for now, but not a “no forever”. Lance could lead a relatively normal life provided he followed whatever medical regime Daehra devised. They’d have 6 months with her as it was, and possibly during that time, Lance would reach the decision to get the implant under his own terms. 

Awkwardness hung in the air after the doctor left to consult with Lance’s surgeon. Lance apologised tearfully for not being strong enough, and for angering him, while Keith felt like a dick for his scent betraying his true feelings on the matter. The soft warmth of holding each other had been tainted by the “ugly conversation”, leaving Lance to fall silent and Keith to simply hold him tighter.

When Marco and Daehra arrived, Lance perked back up. His husband seemed to forget he was by his side as he happily greeted their sons with both hands out and a smile so big that Keith’s heart clenched. Passing Lance Laith, Lance immediately cuddled into his boy, kissing his hair and asking if he’d behaved, Marco then throwing himself down in the visitors chair that Keith was supposed to be in with a dramatic sigh  
“They cried all night. We’re fiiiiiiine, by the way. Can’t hear anything out either ear, but fine”  
Lance laughed softly at his brother’s antics as Keith sought out Daehra’s face. The same black bags under Marco’s face marred hers too. Holding his hands out, Daehra almost seemed happy to place Hunter into his hold  
“They cried all night?”  
He didn’t mean to sound accusing. He knew their sons could scream up a storm if they really wanted to, but to know they’d been distraught all night rubbed him the wrong way. Tiredly, Daehra nodded  
“I’m sorry. Neither of them wanted to settle... I... I’m sorry”  
Grabbing his girlfriend’s hand, Marco pulled her down into his lap  
“Babe. We talked about this. Babies are weird screaming, pooping, puking creatures. Sometimes they cry because they’re crying”  
“It does not mean it was a nice feeling”  
Wide awake in his arms, Hunter made a grabby motion for his finger as Keith moved his hand near his face. Letting his son take his finger, the baby boy gripped it lightly  
“Daehra, Marco’s right. Thank you for watching them. The only reason I could be here with Lance is because it was you guys who were watching them. Did you get any sleep at all?”  
Marco sighed again, Daehra letting her weight mould against him  
“We had some help. Hunk and some of the workers that know Lance tried to help out. Lucteal and Hunk took the morning shift”  
Sitting up a little straighter, Marco groaned  
“Mami would kill us. Do you know they have pr-sex workers at the club? And that Lance is friends with almost all of them? I shouldn’t be surprised. I know I shouldn’t be surprised. But the club is the club, and the outpost is the outpost and oh my god, was my brother a prostitute?!”  
Ending in an almost horrified whisper, Keith was glad Lance hadn’t noticed. As tempting as it was to punch Marco, Marco was still trying to learn the ins and outs of everything and everything Lance found normal in this sector of space   
“His first time was with me. Consensually”  
Lance’s first time had been stolen from him. They’d hooked up drunkenly, then... well... but as Keith saw it the first time Lance had had sex was with him. Though the term “making love” probably better fitted the scenario as Keith had already loved Lance from the very bottom of his heart when they had  
“Of course it was. What am I saying? You two dorks are the biggest dorks I know”  
With a gentle smile, Daehra kissed Marco’s cheek  
“They’re idiots. Two halves of the same idiot. That’s what we have agreed upon”  
“Right. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I need sleep”  
“You can sleep later. You humans need so much sleep. It’s rather ridiculous”

“What are you talking about?”  
Craning past him, Lance had decided to rejoin the real world. Laith was asleep in his arms, as if he hadn’t been screaming all night   
“Marco called us “dorks”, and Daehra was correcting him”  
“She called us “idiots” right? We’re not “dorks”. Sometimes Keith is a “douche”, but that’s still not a “dork””  
Marco rolled his eyes  
“Lance, I don’t think you’re supposed to call your husband a “douche” in front of the babies”  
“He’s my husband and if he’s being a douche I’m going to call him a douche. Right, babe?”  
Keith nodded, because what else could he do? He could be a “douche”, even when he didn’t mean to be and he’d far rather Lance calling him out when he was  
“Mhmm. Just like you can be a “dick””  
Faking a pout, Lance settled back against the pillows behind him  
“Hear that, Laith? Your daddy is so mean to me”  
It was Keith’s turn to fake a pout  
“I’m not mean”  
“No. You’re not. I love you. Wanna swap babies? This one’s sleeping”  
“Nah. I’m right with Hunter. He doesn’t call me names”  
“Laith doesn’t call you names either”  
“Yeah, but he’s asleep. He missed you last night”  
“Not as much as I missed them. I can’t believe I slept soooo long”  
Keith went to kiss Lance’s hair before eyeing the bandaging, and changing to kiss his cheek  
“You needed it. Oh! That reminds me, where are our other two visitors?”  
Yawning, Marco earned himself a dig in the ribs from Daehra who replied instead of him   
“Gift shop. They got distracted. Lucteal got a call from Yule, so we left him behind. The other visitor seemed set on buying something, even if he didn’t know what he wanted to buy”  
Poor Hunk was probably agonising over a gift for Lance. Keith didn’t mind, provided Lance’s room didn’t turn into another gift store like it’d done on Earth  
“Other visitor? Who? Kosmo doesn’t have a credit card or GAC”  
Lance’s almost serious reply over their fur son had Keith snorting out a laugh. As tempting as it was to play along that Kosmo was shopping up a storm, he shook his head   
“No. Hunk popped by last night while you were sleeping”

The words were instant, Lance nearly waking Laith   
“He came?!? Is it for... is it because...”  
Stopping himself from blurting out Hunk’s news, Lance stared at him with wide eyes  
“Yeah. I told him I’d go with him”  
“Oh good. You were supposed to. You know we can’t leave him alone or he’ll get too anxious”  
“If I was supposed to, why didn’t you tell me?”  
Lance shrugged  
“I forgot?”  
Knowing he couldn’t be blamed for his terrible memory, Keith felt as if Lance was dodging the question and instead had hoped that Hunk would come so Keith had someone else there to help support him  
“He said you might have”  
Lance gaped, then promptly shut his mouth after mumbling a low “traitor”. Despite how low the news of his brain trauma must have made him feel, his husband was trying so hard to be strong. Keith admiring him that little bit more for fighting hard to step forward with his life again  
“Don’t worry, babe. He gets it and he’s excited to see you and our boys”  
“Then he better get here soon. I wanna get this over with as soon as possible. I’m starving”  
That Lance wanted to eat was yet another positive point  
“That’s all you care about it, isn’t it? Whether he brought you snacks?”  
“I’m not Kosmo, I don’t get “snacks”. I get very manly cupcakes”  
“Of course you do”  
“You’d get very manly cupcakes too if you pushed two babies out your arse. But you didn’t, so none for you”  
“Ok, babe. Whatever you say”

Brushing off the playfulness, the mood helped to ease the upcoming feeling of dread. Lance might want to get this all over with so he could eat, but each passing tick meant he was that much closer to having to kiss him goodbye and head to Daibazaal without him. A prospect that now looked exceptionally unappealing under the light of day... and maybe even a little traitorous as Lance wouldn’t be there by his side. His husband deserved the same answers as he did. Especially considering that he very well have could have lost both their boys that night and all of this could have been robbed from him. He couldn’t bite his tongue about this. Not telling Lance wasn’t the right thing to do  
“Guys, can you give Lance and I a moment?”  
Marco went to object, but Daehra took his hand   
“Sure. You need your family time. We’ll wait outside for the others”  
“Thank you...”

With the bed not really made for two grown men and two babies, Keith moved from the bed to the visitors chair. Lance watching him as he did. God. He didn’t know how to say this. He didn’t want Lance to get the wrong idea. He didn’t want to stress him before the surgery. He just... he knew he had to before the guilt grew any worse  
“Keith?”  
Capturing his bottom lip in his teeth, Keith sucked down a deep breath  
“Keith? What’s wrong?”  
Gentle and probing. A hint of demand. And the way Lance said his name... Keith felt sick as he forced out the breath he was holding   
“I’m going to Daibazaal”  
Cringing at the words, Keith could have facepalmed himself into oblivion   
“You’re what?! Is this... is this because I... I won’t have the implant”  
“No. No. No babe. Fuck... Mum said... I don’t want you to be mad. Mum said Krystaal’s being transferred... She said... She said that if I wanted answers I could meet with him. Not alone, or anything like that. She’ll be there... She just... She knows we’ll be living at the outpost and she asked if... I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you. I don’t want you to be mad, but... fuck... I’m fucking this up... I shouldn’t go. No. I won’t go. I mean... shit...”

No one had said “eloquence” was his middle name. Again, Keith proving his prowess with words. Biting his lip again, he moved Hunter to his shoulder almost as if his son were a shield from whatever harsh words Lance was brewing.

“Are you serious? You’re going to go see him?”  
There wasn’t anger, but Keith would have preferred it   
“I think it’s best for both of us if we put this behind us”  
“It is behind us! It was behind us! That night... that night was one of the worst of my life. That arsehole wouldn’t even talk about it... and now you want to go see him? Why, Keith?”  
“Because I want to know why I had to miss so many weeks beside you!”  
Snapping, Keith then sighed deeply as he calmed himself  
“Lance, I know we can’t go back and change that night. But I need to know why it had to happen”  
“It happened because he was in love with you! It happened because he kissed you and you nearly fell apart... You were so fucking scared to tell me. You were crying and saying you cheated on me. Then I nearly lost our boys and he... He didn’t lose anything other than his job. People got hurt and the stupid coalition swept it all under the rug. I can’t forgive him. I refuse to forgive him. He hurt our family. You... you wouldn’t wake up. I didn’t think you’d ever wake up. I thought my last memory of you would be begging you not to leave me, and you leaving... I thought... I thought that was behind us”  
Hunter started crying almost in synch with his father. Lance hiding his face against Laith as he drew his legs up  
“That’s why I have to know. I have to know why he could did what he did to us. To you. He fucked with us for weeks. He convinced you that I didn’t care. He leaked things to the media and slandered you. Even if he won’t give me answers, I have to face him. I have to tell him that his actions nearly ruined my whole life”  
“But... but... fuck...”

When Lance didn’t elaborate, Keith found himself moving to sit on the very edge of the bed. The side rail digging into his arse wasn’t particularly comfortable, nor was the space between him and his husband   
“Babe...?”  
“God, Keith... Why... why would you face him?”  
“I need to know. I can’t remember that night. I can’t help you. I can’t tell you why I was going to find Shiro. I only have guesses. My guess is I was going to find Shiro because we needed so much help, but that’s... that’s not a memory”  
“And you’d go to Daibazaal... for that memory? You’d take our boys near him? You’d let him see them?”  
Oh... Lance wasn’t so much worried over him leaving. He was worried Krystaal would act out and take his family away from him entirely   
“No. They won’t see him. It’ll be me, mum, and him. Cuffed more than likely so he won’t be able to touch me”  
“And you? What if he... what if he...”  
Lance sniffled, his breathing shaky as he turned his body slightly away  
“Hey, no. No “what ifs”. You’re my husband. He’s not going to harm me. Krolia wouldn’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen. But babe, I need to remember that night. I need to remember so I can let it go. It’s like how you needed to talk to Kre’el. You needed to understand what had led to everything that happened to you”  
“I don’t want you to go... not there, with them... not without me. I don’t want to be on the outside”  
“I can ask mum if we can postpone, and postpone Krystaal being redeployed...”  
Lance shook his head  
“That’s... that’s not what I mean. I don’t want the boys anywhere near him... and I don’t want the boys... I don’t want their first trip to Daibazaal to be for this. Their first trip off world is already because I need this stupid surgery. I know they won’t remember... but we will...”  
Yeah. That’d be a shitty story to tell them later on. “You were barely two weeks old when I took you to Daibazaal for the first time. See, this man tried to murder your father and you...”. Keith could see the validity of Lance’s point, he just didn’t quiet understand   
“I can ask Marco to watch them...? Or have mum come here? I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t know what you want”  
“I... I know it’s selfish to tell you not to meet him. I know. I really want to shoot the wanker in the foot. But your right. He’s your “Kre’el”. Your friend who betrayed your trust. It’s wrong for me to not want you to go... but I’d rather you didn’t... I... I’m scared and I don’t want to go into this procedure knowing you’re not even on the same planet anymore. I don’t want you to leave me behind again... I can’t lose you, Keith. I can’t... and not to him”

Fuck. If he’d gone through with what he’d planned, he would have broken his husband’s heart into a million pieces. Placing his hand on his husband’s, Keith hoped Lance found some comfort in it  
“You are not going to lose me. You’re my precious husband. My accidental husband. The other half of my idiot. I’ll have mum arrange things and I won’t be going off planet. Hunk would love a chance to babysit, especially him and Shay hoping for a child of their own. Marco can just suck it up and help out”  
Lance didn’t make to uncurl, Keith probing softly   
“Babe?”  
When he turned his big blue eyes back to Keith, the half-Galra almost wished he hadn’t. There was so much guilt there that a lump of emotion clogged up Keith’s throat  
“Does this make us bad parents? Having... having to ask for help all the time like we can’t do this?”  
“I thought the same thing, but Mami said something to me. She said that a good parent is a parent that knows they need help and asks. That all parents try to do everything themselves until the burn out. We need a little help right now, but when we’re at the outpost, it’ll all be up to us. You can’t help needing the surgery. That amazing body of yours needs a little help. It doesn’t make you love the boys any less, does it?”  
“No... but... this isn’t how I thought it’d be”  
“No one did. All we can do is be patient. Patience yields focus”  
Snorting wetly, Lance gave a nod  
“Ok... Ok. I have no idea when you got so wise on the way of parenting, but I trust you... Can... can you write this down for me? And yesterday? And can you shoot Krystaal in the foot for me too?”  
Keith huffed a sigh at the last question. His husband loved shooting things far too much   
“I can’t promise to shoot him, but I reserve the right to punch him if I don’t like what he has to say”  
Instead of laughing, Lance dropped his head  
“I guess... I guess that’s it then. You’ll talk to him while I can’t be there for you...”  
“Lance, I know you’d be there if you could. I know. I also know that if you were, I wouldn’t be able to control my anger over what he did to you. Just like I lost my cool with Kre’el. You might not be physically by my side, but I know you’re supporting me”  
“As I drool my unconscious arse off”  
“I wouldn’t drool it off. That arse of yours is pretty nice”  
Lance groaned   
“Come near my arse and I will cut your dick off. I can’t even joke about that without feeling sick to my stomach with fear”  
“I know, sweetheart. Once we get through today, we can take as long as you want and need. I love you”  
“I love you, too. You better give me a kiss now. The others will be waiting”

Keith could spend forever kissing his husband. Morning breath or the fact it was a peck on the lips didn’t matter. He loved Lance. He loved him and he was determined to get answers for both of them. Even if he didn’t like the answers, at least he’d hear everything from Krystaal himself in his own words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss Lance. I miss writing Lance. I want more Lance. I want more of his POV on everything... now I’m going to go ugly cry in the corner because I’ve been deprived of happy Lance for toooooooo loooong


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry! I have no excuses!! If you were on tumblr you would have seen that the update did me a dirty and I couldn’t use my phone to post the whole chapter preview at once. Next chapter comes with a bit of a time skip... and please don’t hate me too much.

Once Lance was taken away for surgery things started happening in rapid precession. Hunter needed a nappy change. Hunk needed a guide through the hospital to book Shay’s appointment. Laith wanted feeding. Marco face planted from exhaustion getting out the elevator. Keith’s comms started ringing. Keith missed the call and ended up playing phone tag with his mother. Lucteal nearly punched a guy in the face for not apologising when he walked into Keith, who was still trying to juggle his hungry son and his comms. Mami called for an update on Lance, then Hunk nearly threw up from how anxious he’d made himself over booking said appointment as he wrung his hands the whole time they were walking. Feeling frazzled, Keith wasn’t entirely unsure it wasn’t all karma from nearly hiding his meeting with Krystaal from his husband. He could wait until after Lance’s surgery to meet with Krystaal, and give Lance that chance to be awake for it, or he could deal with it now and have news for him when he woke. When Daehra stepped up, he nearly kissed her. How normal parents dealt with these issues, he had no idea. Mami was so incredibly patient and able to juggle two grumpy babies and a comms. He... was not. Taking Hunter for his nappy change, sleepy Marco wasn’t allowed to hold either baby, but he did go with Daehra, who also promised to organise a bottle for Laith then meet them at the obstetricians offices. Thankfully Hunk had had the foresight to bring the nappy bag with him, or things would have gone from bad to worse. Babies needed so many extra things, which they’d had access too in Cuba thanks to Miriam’s smart thinking, now he was realising that a nappy bag was something that would always need to travel around with them, and that he’d have to keep it stocked with the right things for their boys. Lance would have known this. He should have known this. Maybe those few stolen vargas of sleep hadn’t been enough for him to be firing on all cylinders?

Calling him as he sat by Hunk’s side in the waiting room, Keith was forced to pass Laith over to Lucteal so he could take his mother’s call outside the obstetricians offices. Keith had wanted to be there for Hunk the whole time, but with time running out he couldn’t not to take the call, and it wasn’t as if Hunk wasn’t currently stuck filling in paperwork regarding the nature of the appointment. Keeping his mother hanging until he’d slipped into the hallway, Keith sighed deeply as he raised his comms  
“Hey, mum”  
Dressed in his Blade uniform, her mother looked calm and collected. Not even the tiny bit of baby vomit on her shoulder could dent her presence  
“You look like shit”  
Sighing again, Keith already knew he did  
“Thanks. You’ve got vomit on your shoulder”  
His mother didn’t miss a beat   
“Better there than in my hair. What time are you arriving?”  
There it was. Straight into business. She hadn’t even asked about Lance or the boys  
“I’m not”  
His mother raised an eyebrow  
“You’re not?”  
“I can’t... Not to Daibazaal. I talked to Lance about it and he’s... I can’t leave here while he’s in surgery. I still want to talk to Krystaal, but his wishes come first...”  
It was Krolia’s turn to sigh  
“So what you’re telling me is, you want me to escort him all the way out there”  
“Pretty much”  
“Keith...”

Digging the heel of his spare hand into his eye, Keith really didn’t want to fight. He knew he was messing up the plan, but he couldn’t leave. It was bad enough the boys were in the care of the others again, and though Lance had been through probably far more surgeries than Keith knew, he really couldn’t find the energy or will to be anywhere else.

“Where is he?”  
Rubbing at his eye, Keith then let his hand drop  
“Surgery. There were... complications, yesterday. Meaning they needed to approach the surgery from another angle”  
“Complications? You didn’t tell me there complications”  
“You didn’t ask!”  
His tiredness carried in his semi snap  
“Look, I’m sorry. I know I was supposed to come to Daibazaal but I can’t. Lance is right. I want the twins first trip to be to Daibazaal because we’re coming to see you, not because we’re coming to see the man that tried to kill them”  
Krolia’s face morphed from vague annoyance to understanding. She’d always thought the war would end and she'd come back to Earth. That they’d meet at the shack and... and everything else that other life would have been  
“I’ll see what I can do. He knows no harm would have come to them, right?”  
“Yeah, mum. It’s not that... well, maybe a little bit but it’s mostly... We want to make good memories with them. He doesn’t deserve to see them, not after trying to take them away from us. I wasn’t going to tell Lance, that’s why I agreed...”  
Krolia set her lips in a firm frown   
“You said you were going to”  
“You didn’t see him, mum. He was so messed up from missing the boys’ first week. He needed Cuba. I thought... that I’d be strong enough to let the others take care of them, but I can’t...”  
Despite the glaringly obvious fact he was baby free... Recomposing herself, his mother managed to school her features to something more neutral that didn’t quite make it into her tone  
“I wish you’d called me sooner. I’ll need to clear things with Erathus. They’re not keen on Galra ships, much less a sudden visit. Where are you? Where are my boys?”  
“I’m at the hospital. Daehra is changing Hunter’s nappy while Lucteal holds Laith so I could take this call. You know... Seeing you didn’t want to answer when I called you back”  
“Korra needed feeding. You should see her now. She’s so much like you were at this age”  
Discomfort tugged at Keith’s chest. He hadn’t forgotten he had a new baby sister, who he hadn’t enquired over... It pained him to admit that thanks to their age gap he may as well be an uncle to the baby girl   
“I’ll have to take your word for it. How long do you think it’ll take to get clearance?”  
His mother shrugged  
“I can’t see it being a huge deal given both you and Lance are already planet side. They hardly need to know the nature of my visit. A varga, two tops. How long will Lance be in surgery?”  
“A couple of vargas. They’re performing micro-surgery, then he’ll need to be monitored for seizures before being moved back up to the main ward”  
“I’ll call when we’ve docked. I assume the others will watch over the twins during the meeting?”

They’d have to... Marco and Daehra definitely needed the sleep, but hopefully he could swing a few more vargas of Hunk’s time. Hunk was already smitten with the boys. Both of them now owners of weird stuffed wolf looking toys that matched the larger on Hunk had bought for Lance. Their friend had blushed up a storm as he explained that he’d bought it because he knew how much Lance had grown into having Kosmo as his constant companion. Kosmo wasn’t allowed at the hospital, and Keith hadn’t thought about gifting his husband something “cuddly” to share his bed with. That was his job, after all  
“Yeah. Yeah. Hunk popped by for a quick visit, so I’ll see if he and Lucteal can watch the boys at the club. Is Kolivan coming with you?”  
His mother’s eyes twinkled, Keith knowing the teasing was coming   
“Do you want Kolivan to come with me?”  
“That’s not I asked”  
“You don’t usually ask for him. Can’t a mother be concerned?”  
Huffing are his mother, he felt stupid for asking. His emotions too scattered, and body too tired to take whatever crap she was trying to pull   
“Excuse me for trying to include him. In future I won’t ask my future stepfather if he wants to meet his grandsons. This is what I get for trying to include him. I never should have opened my mouth. Call me when you get here”  
Ending the call, Keith knew he’d been a bit of a dick to his mother. He’d just wanted to do the right thing by everyone. Kolivan hadn’t met the boys, and as his mother’s partner and the father of his half-sister, he kind of felt like it might have been nice to include him. He’d barely had a moment to breathe before Marco and Daehra were approaching him from down the hall. Today could quiznak itself right off. He was far too old and far too tired for any of this shit, and now he’d picked a fight with his mother after breaking their agreed upon plans. Someone out there really needed to invent a way to go back in time so he could back to the morning and spend it curled up with Lance as they both snored their heads off.

*  
Dragged back to the club by Hunk and his gentle ways, Keith showered, ate, napped, and generally felt much more human for it. Leaving Daehra and Marco to sleep of their babysitting duties, Keith and Hunk headed back up to the room that Keith and Lance were sharing on the second highest floor of the club. Th’al had offered to make the penthouse available so they be able to share the apartment space, but Lance had wanted seperate rooms thanks to the twins. Kosmo was all over him the tick they walked in. Clothes strewn across the space from where his fur son had felt bored, deciding that he needed to redecorate by digging out mostly Lance’s clothes. Strangely enough it hadn’t felt weird to sit Kosmo down and explain to him that Lance needed surgery. His great big idiot of a wolf was far smarter than he’d ever let on, letting them leave with minimal fussing, even if he did nudge at Lance’s hands for all the extra pats he could get before Keith shepherded his husband out the door. Laying Laith down on the sofa, he was sent to the bathroom to humanise by Hunk, returning to find his friend had ordered room service before starting to straighten up. Collapsing backwards onto the king sized bed was a grave error on his behalf. The thick fluffy duvet calling his name as the urge to sleep until the meeting grew. Forcing himself to sit back up seemed like some kind of inhumane torture. Sitting up meant talking. Talking meant using the words. Using the words meant using the English. His brain didn’t have the power to use the English. His valiant efforts to stay awake were thwarted by Hunk promising to wake him when the food arrived. Needless to say, he didn’t.

Letting him sleep for the next varga and a half, Keith woke to Hunk shaking his shoulder to tell him that Krolia should be arriving soon. Having pulled a “rambling Lance”, Keith had talked the ear off his poor friend all the way from the hospital to the club, unaware of how much he had talked or the way he’d jumped from topic to topic as he had. Knowing he was an idiot their friends group had let him mumble and complain, then go off on a completely unrelated tangent of how amazing his boys were. The previous night’s conversation in the cafeteria had drifted out of his mind, Keith forgetting he’d confided in Hunk, leaving him as confused as he was nervous about facing Krystaal. So many things had happened, so many things were happening, now wasn’t the time to be overwhelmed, even if his secondary instincts were prowling demanding some kind of revenge he couldn’t process that when his stomach felt somewhere close to the bottom of his boot. Had Hunk not been there to guide him around, as if he was on autopilot, Keith wouldn’t have made it to the space port intact. Nor would the twins have made the trip with him in the arms of Lucteal and Hunk. No. He’d said he wouldn’t put them in danger, so he couldn’t explain why he’d ended up bringing them with him. Kosmo was all the backup he needed, yet with his track record of attacking anything he deemed a threat towards Lance, he’d been forced to leave his ever faithful furry back up locked up in the hotel. 

There was nothing especially special about the Galra ship Krolia had piloted for the trip over to Erathus. It was just as grey and purple as every other ship in their fleet. Waiting at the dock, Kolivan had quirked an eyebrow at their “rag tag” group. One half-Galra who looked as if his head was off in the cloud. One man who dwarfed the sleeping child in his hold almost laughably. Then rounding out the group was the man carrying the other baby wearing a facial expression akin to what one might expect having stepped in faecal matter. The expression lost once his gaze cast down to Korra. She was so much larger than Keith remembered. In her clutch was Kolivan’s braid, drooled all over by the little girl, yet Kolivan was uncaring as he smiled with the corners of his lips at his daughter. Parenthood really suited his former mentor, Kolivan’s almost mechanical mannerism had softened significantly   
“Greetings, Keith, Hunk, and Lucteal”  
“Hey, Kolivan. Hello, Korra”  
Hunk nudged him with his elbow, Keith remembering if you wanted to greet someone you needed to use the words  
“Hey, Kolivan. Hello, Korra, you probably have no idea who I am...”  
Lame. That was “cringeworthy lame” as Lance would say, his husband would most probably be cringing in second hand embarrassment   
“She’s a smart little girl. You look... exhausted”  
Keith snorted. Exhausted was the polite way of agreeing with Krolia that he looked like shit  
“Long night. Day. Whatever time of hour it is... I didn’t think I’d be seeing you here”  
“You know Krolia. When she makes up her mind, there’s simply no telling her. She did mention that it would be an opportunity to meet your sons...”  
She’d mentioned it only because Keith had been forced to make her mention it. No. He wasn’t going to be bitter. His mother had been forced to change all her plans for him, for all he knew she could have planned something...  
“Uh. Yeah. Um... This is Laith and Hunter... Laith means “lion” back on Earth. Lance calls him his little lion cub. Hunter... is kind of obvious”  
Now he felt stupid not holding his baby boys. He should be proudly introducing them to their future grandfather, not standing in front of them and gesturing vaguely because he was a wreck. Shuffling up, Hunk placed his free hand on Keith’s shoulder, kind of angling the twin he was holding towards Kolivan   
“This handsome little man is Laith. I think he looks more like Lance except for his nose, but Hunter, Hunter’s the spitting image of Keith”  
Keith itched to take his son from Hunk, yet didn’t want to wake him before he had time to cuddle his crying away. Smiling fondly, his son far damn precious for his heart not to skip a beat   
“And their eyes... Lance says they have my eyes”  
“That’s true. I’m kind of shocked that he didn’t inherit Lance’s markings, or fangs or something”  
“Don’t insult him. He’s perfect the way he is. They’re both perfect”

As Kolivan chuckled, Hunk gaped slightly. For his friend it was a rarely seen side of the Blade Commander. For Keith it was just another piece of evidence that being a father really suited Kolivan. Steamrolling through the moment, Lucteal didn’t appreciate the shared affection between both new fathers  
“Can we please move on? There is time to continue this conversation after you have met with Krystaal. Need I remind you we have limited time before Lance wakes. I would prefer that we didn’t continue to make spectacles of ourselves to the watching public. Lance would not appreciate the added attention. Especially when he wishes to keep both your children out of the media”  
Keith hadn’t noticed the few busybodies stopping to stare. None of them seemed to be on their comms, nor did the seem to have taken video or photos of the moment. They were all doing that creepy thing where they were staring thanks to the groups status. Drawing his brow, Kolivan gave a curt nod  
“Indeed. We should head on board. We have a secure room for you to meet with Krystaal and Krolia will be monitoring your meeting to prevent any incident arriving”  
“Is that likely?”  
Kolivan shook his head. Korra letting out a babbly kind of laugh as her fathers plait moved  
“No. He spent many movements sullen, refusing both food and water initially. When offered the choice of exile he was far too eager to accept. It was decided by Krolia that he needed to retrain and learn the gravity of his actions... Though it was a struggle not to let her shoot him as Lance had wished, and she was far too tempted to eject him out the closest available airlock. Any chance of advancement was ruined by his own actions. Penance is not generally the Galra way, but we are trying. Let us be going”

The walk was short given the size of the ship. Korra spent her time watching him over Kolivan’s shoulder. Her eyes fixed on him as she continued to drool over Kolivan’s hair. Beside him Hunk kept pulling faces to entertain the little girl, mumbling sadly when her gaze didn’t move from him. Having not spent all that much time with her, Keith knew their was no way she could know he was her older brother. He loved the little girl fiercely, but was worried they’d never have that proper sibling bond. All his friends were far older than her. And all of them bore a heavy legacy. As it was, if he was the “Prince of Daibazaal”, then she was very much the “Princess”. The first born daughter of the joint rulers of transitioning empire. Keith sincerely hoped that she’d be able to be live a happy life, and that he’d be able to provide her with a shoulder to cry on, or an escape if she ever chose a different path than the ones that would appear before her feet. Lance would have loved to have been there. He would have gone crazy for how cute and inquisitive she was. To Lucteal they all must have seemed idiots. He had dozens of half-brothers and sisters, and then some. This wasn’t all new and exciting to him, but at the same time, he also wasn’t a father. Not that that stopped Hunk from sharing some form of fatherly pride in his uncle position. He’d make a fantastic father, though that’d been a long and well recognised truth in their group. Realising where his thoughts were taking him, Keith gave himself a small shake. He couldn’t be cool before Krystaal if he was too busy being proud of his friends and family. He shouldn’t be this happy when about to face an attempted murderer.

Led further into the bowels of the ship, Krolia was waiting for them outside an unremarkable door. If Keith had been summoned to appear before her at the location, he would have long been lost. Ignoring his fatigue, and generally dishevelled state, his mother strode to him then pulled him in close. Sighing softly into the hold, Keith’s hands came up to grip her jacket lightly   
“Mum...”  
“You really do look like quiznak”  
“Thanks... Is he...?”  
“He’s restrained. He cannot touch you. I don’t think he will try, but as a precaution he’s cuffed to the chair around his ankles”  
“How did we end up here?”  
His mother kissed his cheek  
“I don’t know. I can smell your conflict. You can turn back now, return to Lance and not think of the past again...”

Keith shook his head. His husband’s name from her lips eroded that fatherly pride he’d been filled with. His husband should have been there, yet wasn’t. Krystaal wasn’t to blame for the birth happening, but he was to blame for the fact Lance needed to isolate himself with Curtis. He was to blame for the weeks they’d lost. Anger was stirring in his blood. Krystal was to blame. Had the tour come to an end peacefully, they could have... The cabin had been soothing for both of them, yet he’d been forced through rehabilitation and Lance had been crippled by Keith’s near loss. His husband broke, and it was all because of them who was supposed to his friend  
“No matter what he says, it’s time to hear it from him”  
“Alright. I’ll be monitoring your conversation. If you need to stop at any time, you give me the signal and I will end it”  
Breaking the hug, Krolia manipulated her comms. The seemingly solid wall beside the door melted away. Krystaal vacantly staring forward where he was sat  
“He knows we’re watching him. Hunk, you and Lucteal are welcome to take the twins somewhere more comfortable during the conversation”  
“I’m staying. It doesn’t feel right to leave... What kind of friend would leave? I mean, if Keith wants me to leave I can totally leave but does Keith... do you want me to leave?”  
Nervously babbling, it struck Keith that he wasn’t the only one wanting answers about that night. He and Lance had lived it, as had Curtis and Krolia, but their friends had lived it differently. They weren’t all privy to Krystaal’s declarations of this so called “love”. If Hunk was the only one had to think of, he’d let his friend stay, but with the twins with them... he didn’t want them to see his bad side. To hear whatever Krystaal dragged up from those months of torment, and to see him when he snapped  
“Hunk, I... Thanks, but right now, I need you and Lucteal to stay with the boys. I need to be able to tell Lance he didn’t see them, that the boys weren’t close to him. And I don’t want them exposed to this. We don’t know what he has to say, and I can’t keep focused on getting answers with them here”  
“Say no more, man. Uncle Hunk is totally on the job. Me and this little man are happy to hang out. We’ll all give you some privacy. Right, guys? Korra’s got to meet her nephews properly. She’s so cute, Krolia... Kolivan... you did both make her... oh, shoot... ugh... we’re just going to go now... right? Because I feel like I’m talking too much, am I talking too much?”  
Krolia covered her mouth as if it’d hide her laughter  
“You’re fine, Hunk. You’re right. Kolivan will show you to another room. Come now, Keith”

Those few steps into the room where Krystaal was held felt like some of the heaviest Keith had ever taken. His secondary instincts were out for blood, triggering both his nails and teeth to elongate sharply. His scent was prickly enough that he’d give a cactus as run for its money, as his eyes narrowed on his prey. The friendship he’d thought they’d developed through mutual trust and experience had fractured further than he’d realised. Some tiny light in the back of his complicated heart had been flickering with the emotion akin to hole. Hope that by some absolutely twisted cosmic... thing... that there had been some kind of mistake. That he’d never been kissed by the man he’d trusted. The friend he’d been so close with and pushed himself out of his comfort shell to allow close... had stabbed him in the fucking back then marched all over his bleeding form before picking him up, dusting him off, and declaring it was all done out of love. His scent insulted Keith’s nose. His flickering of emotions, neutral to hopeful, hopeful to soft, soft to guilt, guilt to neutral, flashed in the same moment Keith threw up slightly into his mouth. This was a terrible fucking idea. The man who loved him, adored him, held him and accepted his flawed form, wasn’t by his side. He simply couldn’t tuck his tail between his legs. He couldn’t run back to Lance’s warm hold. He couldn’t be held by his husband, nor feel his lips against his hair as he soothed him softly that the nightmare was over, because it wasn’t a quiznakking nightmare. His driving force and stability was currently in surgery. His back left exposed to whatever else Krystaal wanted to stab in there without his right hand man to protect him. 

Almost mechanically Keith walked himself to the chair across from Krystaal, pulling it out with a sharp scrape, then sitting himself down when the legs good extra foot away from the table on top of the space required to sit. Shame seemed to decide he needed to bow his head and look from his former friend, resisting the pressure felt as if he was resisting a physical presence. Had this not been for both him and his husband, Keith might just have bowed to the pressure. Yet, he couldn’t. No. He wouldn’t. Lance stood tall. He’d take a hundred and one hits and remain on his feet. Even when he looked away. Even through every panic attack. His husband always had the courage to find that next step in the road. While Keith liked to think he’d grown, Lance had grown further than words could describe. The only thing rivalling his lack of vocabulary there was trying to describe how... how “amazed”, in every which way, he was by his husband. Keeping his head raised, each complicated question died on his lips. There were so many things to ask, yet all that finally crossed was a somewhat choked cough.

From his place across from him, Krystaal continued to stare. Keith feared this thick tension between them would linger, until Krystaal grew unexpectedly resigned. His shoulders may not have slumped, nor did slouch, it was all displayed across his lips as the edges turned up  
“I knew you’d come to see me. He told me you were dead, but I knew you couldn’t be”  
The English language failed him, there were any number of ways he could have replied  
“Why?”  
“Because I know you”

No. He didn’t. If he did then this wouldn’t be happening. Being Keith wasn’t helping. Keith was too emotionally invested. When things like this happened, Lance fell back to “Leandro”. Keith couldn’t fall back to being either the Red or Black Paladin. He’d barely joined Lance on his space adventures. Following his training, he let his body tense. His gaze shifted marginally, eyes focused on the point over Krystaal’s left shoulder. Breathing through his nose, Shiro’s words of “Patience yields focus” came to mind unwantedly. He was a Blade member. He’d watched criminal after criminal forced before justice for their crimes. He’d seen some of the absolute worst that the universe had to offer. Krystaal was hardly Zarkon. Krystaal was one small lone existence he’d soon be done with.

“Krystaal, you know why you’re here. You’re on your way to be reassigned after you committed treason against the coalition. Your actions traumatised and killed. You deliberately acted to harm my husband. If you knew me, you wouldn’t have acted the way you did”  
Letting out a long breath, Krystaal leaned back in his chair in ease  
“I’ve spent movements wondering what you’d say if we met again. You don’t have to pretend Keith. Your eyes are the give away. You want to kill me, for hurting him. But I don’t think it’s me your mad at, not entirely. I stand by what I said that night”  
Keith was unsure what Krystaal knew in relation to his lack of memory  
“Which part? The declaration of love? Or where you colluded with the Princess to harm innocents”  
“Sometimes the ends justify the means. I know you had feelings for me. I know it. And you know what, everyone else did. That’s why Lance suffocated you with his hold. That’s why you kissed me back before running to him. That’s why you refused to act on his suspicions sooner. You didn’t want him, you barely even spoke about him. If you did love him the way you claim, you never would have singled me out”

Keith set his jaw. The compulsion to jump the table and beat Krystaal into a bloody pulp was far too appealing. Lance never suffocated him. His husband constantly apologised for the time he needed Keith by his side. He wanted him to go out and experience things, to do whatever he pleased, because he knew Keith would always return to him. The only times Lance had been gutted by his actions was when he’d acted like an absolute quiznakking idiot. Despite what he’d been through, Lance was still stubbornly independent. His mood may yoyo, some days might be worse than others, but he’s stopped trying to die. He’d stopped relying on drugs and alcohol and was truly making a breakthrough with figuring out how to navigate the bonds of friendship.

“I singled you out for your potential. You made a good operative in the field. I considered you a close friend, I even took pride in you achievements. Instead of accepting that I was in a committed relationship with my husband, you tormented him for phoebs. You slandered his name. You slandered the name of my brother. Finally, upon rejection, you attempted to kill us”

That sounded as cold as Keith had hoped. Krystaal’s eyes narrowed, he wasn’t what bullshit rebuttal was going to come forth next  
“He wasn’t right for you. He’s a murderer. He murdered Klearo, after their relationship ended. I did some digging you know, this wasn’t even his first pregnancy. He used his position for the fame, then murdered the man who made him, as well as his unborn child. How could you possibly trust him with your children? You Paladins always got a free pass. How many of people have you slaughtered? How many did you slaughter in the name of justice? He’s not sound in the head. You were desperate for a friend Keith. Each time we trained together. Each time you helped me with my stances and close combat work. Each late night conversation, talking with you about whatever came to mind until the sun rose. Why couldn’t you see me, I was always right there? I was falling for you. I was falling for you and you weren’t talking about him, or you were complaining. Of course that’s going to give me hope, especially when you never stayed with him for more than a quintant or two each time you claimed you were off to be with your husband. You always came right back to us. You’re fearless. You’re reckless and brave. You care more for your team than the mission success. The look in your eyes as you line up your prey... You’re everything a Blade soldier should be... You’re like... the future... and that’s a future I want to see”

With how far Krystaal had fallen, Keith had forgotten all the Lance he’d seen inside him. He’d felt like an arse when Lance had said he was the future on Bob’s game show. Hearing it from Krystaal had nowhere near the same affect, despite the sincerity of his words after ceasing his attack on Lance’s character. Well fuck. Krystaal had truly blow a gasket and lost his shit because of petty jealousy  
“If you... If you hated Lance so much, why did you provoke him so often? He saved all our lives and you still went after his”  
“I wanted to show you his true colours. That he wasn’t good enough for you. He’s sick, and there’s something wrong with him. You’ve seen it, the way he throws himself down and shakes. That’s not normal. I wanted to show you how sick he is. He was always complaining about you to all your friends. He kept crying and crying and wouldn’t shut up. He’s weak. He let a whole planet of victims die out there. He left them to die. He’s holding you back”  
“Shut up!”  
Pushing his chair back in disgust, Keith’s calm broke like a dam as he stepped away from Krystaal. Grabbing the back of the chair, the wood splintered in his grip   
“Lance isn’t weak. He’s never been weak. He was the one who held Voltron together. He was the one always busting his arse to make sure we were safe. One of the first things he did was take a blast to save Coran, so you didn’t get to sit there and call him weak”  
“He gave up on you. He told me you were dead!”  
“I very nearly was thanks to your actions. Why couldn’t... Why couldn’t you talk to me? Why couldn’t you leave us alone when it became clear I wasn’t leaving him? I lost movements in a coma you put me in! And when we were sick, you actually helped me to see him! None of this makes sense! Lance was never your enemy, and if you think I was in love with you, it was because of how much of Lance I saw in you!”

Krystaal drew a shaky breath   
“I wanted you to like me! I worked my arse off being what you wanted from a trainee! I did everything you told me to! Why couldn’t I be him for you?!”  
“Because you’re not! Lance wouldn’t have pulled this shit! He might have made mistakes, but he isn’t one to run from them”  
“He already did! He murdered...”  
“He acted in self defence! You keep talking as if you know the full story. You have no idea. Klearo was evil! When Lance killed him, he’d just brought a child from a king whom he’d promised the power and protection of the Red Lion. He brought that child for exactly what you think. Lance killed him to save her life. Thanks to his actions she was spared harm, she was able to return home to her mother, sister and brother. Daehra and Lucteal. You’ve met them. Lance proved himself to them, he proved himself to a whole sector of space”  
”And left a mess for you to clean up. He didn’t even consult you before demanding that you move out to that outpost of his”

Keith’s grip on the chair remained firm, his beautiful brow drawn in confused anger. The outpost was their home for now. That’d been agreed upon. They’d both transition out of their job then discover what came next for them together   
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
Krystaal tried to stand, only to be detained and forced to remain seated. His eyes were trained on Keith uncomfortably so  
“It means I listened to you! I always listened to you. We... I was proud to listen to you. We had so many dreams for the Galra empire. You had so many dreams. An empire where we no longer hated. An empire where we led in humanitarian aid. Where we trained soldiers across the galaxy to help dismantle remaining Galra weaponry. You carried such passion, and now you’re... you’re abandoning your post...”  
“I’m not abandoning anything”  
“You are! You chose him over the future of the empire!”  
“I’m not the future of the empire! Krolia and Kolivan have their own vision for the future. The universe no longer needs Voltron, not when the coalition is there! You claim you want the Galra name to cleared, yet you hurt innocent civilians! You nearly killed my husband, our sons and our friends! Wasn’t your first attempt enough?! Did you enjoy seeing me fall apart? You grabbed me and told me not to look, I thought it was because you cared, but you couldn’t care less. Why... why would you do that?”

Krystaal’s voice shook with emotion Keith didn’t appreciate. With his head hung his former friend mumbled at the table  
“Because he wasn’t there. It was your moment and he left... You... you were finally going to bridge the gap. You were going to make everyone see the Galra for who we want to be... yet all the representatives could talk about was him... He turned his back on the future we dreamed of. He walked away when you were being acknowledged... It made me so mad that a man who’d thrown away the right to be there would walk all over our important night as if he was too good to at least pretend he cared. I gave him the chance to do the right thing, and he choose the wrong option”  
“He nearly died. He spent movements messed up over that night. You tainted our name and strained our relationships!”  
“Most of the delegates were shocked, but you’re blind if you think they didn’t want the same outcome. If you thought they didn’t want him gone. You didn’t listen Keith because you’re not a grunt like us. We work the security. We hear their gossip. So many wondered why he was there, so many wondered if he’d be coming for their blood next. He’s a disgrace to Voltron and it’s legacy... No one trusts him. No one wants him there. Did you notice the select planets on the tour? You’d be surprised how many of our “allies” didn’t want you both there”

Keith felt as if the air had been driven from his lungs. They’d worked their arses off being what the civilisations wanted from their guests. They’d followed all the lame rules. All the silly customs and forced niceties. If they didn’t trust in Lance and his position as a Paladin, then they never should have joined the coalition. 

“Then they never should have invited us. Lance went above and beyond for a Coalition that turned their backs on him. We were children when went to space. Returning home, we were still embroiled in war. He deserved better than the way they treated him. He left under his own strength and carved out a new path of helping people in a way the Coalition couldn’t. We both know that not everything in the universe can be handled lawfully. Lance found a way to help people and bring responsible parties to justice. With what he went through, he could have given up. No one would have blamed if he had, but all he’s ever wanted is to help people”  
Not that Keith was biased, and not that there wasn’t a hundred aspects of Lance’s job that had made hurt to hear, but he was so damn proud that his husband hadn’t given up. He was proud that he’d found something out there he loved to do. He’d built his own team from the ruins of his life. He commanded his own team with love and wisdom. He’d stepped up to become an amazing leader who Keith would have been proud to follow. He’d stepped up and no longer drank, nor did he rely on drugs to numb the pain. Lance finally felt safe enough to move beyond that and for that Keith was eternally grateful, finally confident enough in his own abilities. Abilities he’d had all along.

“We were all children in this war...”  
Krystaal’s conscience must have finally started to catch up, because Keith would swear he heard traces of both agreement and pain  
“Then you should understand what it was like. The fear. The pain. The confusion. Watching as you fail and knowing that failure led to death. We didn’t grow up knowing about this war. None of us had any clue that we’d be tasked with saving the universe. Nor did we know we’d turn into killers to do so. Lance and Shiro both gave their lives for the fight. Allura’s ultimate sacrifice was what gave Altean and Daibazaal back to the universe. We lost far too many friends along the way, whole planets of allies gone in a tick. There’s so much pain the universe that I can’t fathom why you’d add more. Axca, Zethrid, and Ezor all considered you a friend. We were proud of you, proud of our group. To have both you and Nerlo betray us over repressed feelings... it feel like a slap to the face”

“If I couldn’t have you... then I didn’t want him too. You saved us, Keith. You saved all of us. If you’re going to hate me, then at least that means you’ll never forget me. We all wanted you... you to be the next Coalition leader. We wanted to support you. We wanted... we wanted that further with you leading...”

The Coalition was more than Lance, more than the legacy that was Voltron. It was hope and for Keith, Lance was his hope. His husband may joke that “he was the Prince of Daibazaal”, but there was some unwanted truth to that. He united both bloodlines, and he did so with Lance’s constant support, as the Half-Human Half-Galra hybrid that the universe needed as a poster child. To not trust Daibazaal’s decisions expelled through his lips was to go against the advice Lance had always been willing to give him. To go against the support and trust in their relationship before moving into a romantic relationship... Keith couldn’t be the man they wanted him to be without his husband by his side. He’d had so many grand plans on working on being the almost God like leader Alfor had been, yet along the way, he’d learned that none of that would have a purpose if he didn’t understand himself. Being with Lance had taught him so many things, such as what if felt like to have a place in the universe to call home. To have that love and support. To have a family. That he didn’t need to be the bad arse Blade Member when what he really needed was to extend and explore the relationships he did have. He may still be slightly rubbish at social cues and with words, but he’d grown. He was still growing, and as he grew, he’d grown the confidence to reach out to his friends in ways he hadn’t been able to before. Now, instead of that hollow space in his heart that was only filled by training and being the best soldier he could be, he had warmth from the network of friends he had. He had love from Miriam and Lance’s family. He had love from his husband and their boys. Those rough edges around that hole were smoothed flat. He had enough love in his life that he could part with a friend like Krystaal. He’d carry bitter regrets, and while he’d so desperately wanted Krystaal to explain that night, as his hands eased their grip on the chair his breathing evened back out. It wasn’t that he wasn’t angry anymore, he was simply... he was simply done with it. His secondary instincts agreeing.

“I hear you’re being transferred”  
Krystaal drew is brow in confusion at the subject change  
“Yeah...”  
“I wish you luck. I can’t say I will ever forgive you, but when I walk out at that door I’ll be returning to my family. I have two healthy and amazing baby boys now. I have a husband that will always be by my side and on my side. I have more friends than I know what to do with. If someone had told me 10 years ago this would be life I never would have believed them because all I had was my anger in at life. I know what it is to lose your head and your way when you follow your heart. I was so angry at you, but now... now I just feel sad. If you only let yourself believe, you’ll find your own happiness... or something like that, that’s what Lance would say. He’s always been too understanding for my own good. Now, while I wish you luck, if you ever come near my family again I can’t guarantee that Lance won’t shoot, and if you so much think to hurt them, you better believe I won’t think twice about selling you into slavery to the worst person Lance can find, once I’ve personally robbed you of the ability to protest”

As Keith delivered his threat, he started moving towards the door. His head was swirling in a weird way, almost like the conversation was evaporating now that knew Krystaal had acted out of some very misguided feelings of love. The worst part was that Keith couldn’t remember if he had led him on, if he had wanted that kiss that night. He and Krystaal had been so damn close. He could appreciate the man’s body, and the sharpness of his mind. The fire in his eyes and his shared dreams for the reformed empire... but to go such extreme lengths... It hadn’t escaped Keith’s notice as he delivered his last threat that Krystaal’s arm now bore more than one scar, yet the only scar he cared about wasn’t the vertical ones, no, he cared about the “Y” so clearly carved to represent his intolerance of Lance. This was a worse love story than that of his years spent pining silently over Lance. He may not have liked Lance dating Allura, but he’d never gone out of his way to sabotage them. He’d never let it show how his heart was breaking as Lance finally “got the girl”. For all the times he’d seen Lance in his old friend, he’d seen himself most in the last few doboshes of conversation. Krystaal wanted that same soul saving love that Lance had given him, and had lost his soul in the search of it. Maybe he’d gotten soft after all. He hadn’t punched him. Hadn’t thrown the chair at him. He hadn’t even stabbed him. No. He’d kept the fire in his blood from boiling over into physical violence, then chose to walk away when he realised that Krystaal was nothing more than a man driven crazy by love. The notion hit a little too close to him, especially given that both he and Lance had a habit of losing their heads when it came to protecting each other. Their self sacrificing ways has lessened as their relationship progressed, the understanding both of them reaching was that if they were hurt catastrophically the other wouldn’t be able to cope with the loss. That reasoning probably wasn’t all that sane, but no one had ever said that love didn’t come with a little insanity.

Leaving the room, Keith all but collapsed against the closest wall. He felt as if he’d aged 10 years when that door had closed behind him. The day had already been far too long. Now all he wanted was to hold his boys and return to his husband’s side. His wait on Lucteal and Hunk’s return wasn’t long, yet he hadn’t realised, more like he hadn’t remembered that his mother had witnessed all of that. Krolia watching on in concern until Keith finally pushed himself off the wall to great his sons, before his friends. Practically stealing his son from Hunk’s arms, he held his little boy to his shoulder, breathing in his soft scent as his world slowly returned to normal. This was who he was now. A father to the most amazing boys he could ask for. His anger ebbed away at the weight of his baby boy against him  
“Keith, are you okay?”  
Nodding to Hunk was the best he had to offer, a few ticks slipped by before he nodded again  
“Yeah. Yeah... Quiznak, that was a lot”  
Being one for hugs, Keith found himself trapped in one of Hunk’s famous “bear” hugs. For some reason his brain decided to jump to the worst case scenario. As if Hunk hugging him wasn’t due to the tough conversation he’d had, and rather that something had gone wrong with Lance   
“Hunk?”  
“It’s ok, man. If you don’t want to talk about it. You just looked like you really needed a hug”  
So it wasn’t Lance related? The urge to see his husband was only growing. He needed to be there when Lance woke, even if it meant ditching the rest of his family. He’d barely said two words to his little sister  
“Thanks... And thanks for watching the boys... and staying... We should head back to Lance. He’s probably already out of surgery by now”

Hugging Hunk back quickly, the best he could, the pair separated. Hunk settling for keeping an arm wrapped around Keith’s shoulder  
“Are you sure? You look beat. Maybe you should rest until the hospital calls?”  
“No... No. I can rest when we get there. Lance shouldn’t have to wake up alone there”  
His husband was there because of him. It wasn’t like Lance had gotten himself pregnant. Through all of it, Keith wanted to be there. He wanted to support Lance through everything the way his right hand man had always supported him. His plans of escape were dashed the moment his mother interjected   
“Actually, Keith there’s something I need to tell you. Can we talk for a moment?”  
From the gist of her tone, Keith knew she meant alone but that was far too much effort for him to deal with right now  
“Whatever it is, we can talk about it here. I know this hasn’t been a long visit, and the tick Lance is up for it I promise we’ll come spend some quality time on Daibazaal, but for now, I really need to get back to him”

Instead of being reprimanded, his mother made the concession, probably due to how quiznakking exhausted he looked  
“It’s about Krystaal’s reassignment”  
Nope. He didn’t want to deal with that. He didn’t want to think about where his former friend was going to end up. Being the man he was, Hunk gave his shoulders a quick squeeze  
“Maybe we should wait at the gate for you?”  
“No. This will only be quick. You deserve as much as I do to know what happens next”  
He couldn’t bring himself to talk about the conversation, yet Hunk had to be dying to know on the inside. Krolia cast a glance to each of them before shaping her face into a neutral expression. He should have known then to run  
“Krystaal is being transferred to Earth. Actually, your whole previous team is. He is being stripped of his previous ranking, and will be enrolled at the Galaxy Garrison to partake in its cadet course with a leaning towards diplomatic missions rather than weapons and flight training. It was his failure to understand human emotions that led him off course, so we believe the best rehabilitation for him will be in a place where he is forced to adapt to human life first hand. The rest of your team will be helping with the technical side of Galra technology and cross media intergration. For her part, Nerlo, is being stationed off planet at one of our outposts, she’ll be serving her penance helping with supply chains. We went easier on her as she gave a full confession over the incidents, and our belief is that she was genuinely aggrieved that things went this far. Part of his transfer involves constant monitoring through a device implanted in his forearm. He will need to report daily and undergo therapy. He is also banned from weaponry and must stay on ground unless granted permission from Kolivan and myself. If he fails to comply or attempts to breech these orders he will be removed back to Daibazaal where he will be formally stripped of all his duties... Keith, I know this might not be what you want to hear, but we thought about this a lot. I know how much Lance dislikes him, yet I think both of you have suffered enough that you don’t need his death or enslavement on your minds. Lance would be saddened, and out of everyone involved, he suffered the most through Krystaal’s actions. I promise you that his communications will be monitored, and that I will step in the second he so much thinks of stepping out of line...”  
“That’s bullshit! He effectively tortured my husband psychology and physically, and now he’s getting... Are you serious?!”  
Hunk tugged at him, trying to calm Keith back down. The words had burst forth so suddenly Keith hadn’t quite processed what he’d said  
“Keith...”  
“Keith...”  
Krolia and Hunk’s words overlapped. Keith choosing to look to Hunk instead of his mother   
“You can’t possibly agree with this?”  
Under his gaze, Hunk seemed to shrink. His friend really didn’t deserve the sneered lip turned in his direction  
“It’s not that I agree... but... Lance was never okay with death... and if Krystaal is getting help then... What I’m trying to say is... Krolia is right. Lance wouldn’t be able to cope with Krystaal out there. I think maybe if he knows where he is and that he can’t come near you, or make contact then maybe... you know... It might help him? If he hadn’t given us a second change then... I know your mad, buddy. But Iverson and the Coalition owe you this. Iverson can be pretty scary...”  
Nope. He was calling a “Red” of his own  
“I can’t deal with this right now. Just know if this plan goes wrong, I will cut contact. Lance deserves to feel safe and you know we plan to raise the boys on Earth”  
Brushing hunk off, Keith turned away from his mother. Catching him by the arm, the woman forced him to face her. Her free hand coming to take him by the chin as she looked him in the eye  
“Keith, I swear to you he won’t have contact with you. Krystaal’s transfer is today. The tracker is already embedded and transmitting. Any attempt to remove it will release a sedative into Krystaal’s system, as will any attempt to leave the Garrison wit kit permission. At the Garrison he’ll be no more than a fresh recruit and will need to work his way back up through the ranks if he ever wants to work with the Blades again”  
“He hurt Lance. He nearly killed him, our sons, and me”  
“I know. That’s why I’m taking this path. He’s been publicly shamed. His pride shattered and ground into dust. What he rebuilds will be in his hands. I love you. I’m doing this for both you and for Lance. The answer to violence isn’t more violence... and I truly believe that Lance will understand when you explain things to him”  
“I’m not so sure”  
“I am. He’s strong, and he will move past what was done to him. Now, I don’t want you to go while you’re angry, but I’m not going to stop you from returning to Lance. That’d only cause a bigger fight. Let Lance know he’s welcome on Daibazaal anytime for anything”  
“Yeah. Sure”  
“Keith. I’m serious. Krystaal will not be allowed to roam free and therapy is a non-negotiable aspect of this”  
“I get it”  
“If you did, you’d see that this is the right path. He cannot understand the pain he caused when he’s so ignorant when it comes to humans”  
“Fine. I get. I’m not impressed. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I love you, but I’m leaving. I need space to process this”  
Nothing was fine, but the decision had been made. Having Krystaal on Earth didn’t feel right, but he couldn’t fight it. He also couldn’t say that people didn’t deserve a second chance. If Axca, Zethrid and Ezor hadn’t been given a second chance, then he’d never would have had the chance to see the good in them. Kissing his forehead, his mother smiled softly  
“Don’t be mad at me for too long. I want to spend more time with my grandsons”  
“I make no promises”  
“I know you don’t”

Parting from her added another decade’s worth of exhaustion to his weary body. At this rate they were going to have to admit him along side his husband because Keith as if he could sleep forever. Hiking his son up on his shoulder, he nuzzled into his baby boy’s beanie as he whispered softly   
“Let’s go see your daddy”


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry! I’m sorry! This was gonna be a hop skip and a jump to the end... only I wasn’t done it was pushing over 13k. I had no idea here to cut it. I’m awful. I’m sorry. I need to write smaller chapters...

It was now the end of January and Lance wasn’t sure he’d slept during the last month, or simply passed out due to the lack of sleep. He wasn’t sure that counted as actual sleep, nor was he sure how time had managed to move so quiznakking fast. Christmas had come and passed in a sleepy haze, a forced trip to Earth at his mother’s “request”. He’d been so excited to spend his first Christmas with their boys. He thought the twins would be mesmerised by the lights of the Christmas tree. Laith had wanted nothing to do with the tree, while Hunter scrunched up his face at like he’d been personally insulted by the softly twinkling lights. Hunter also hadn’t liked meeting Veronica, Laith unable to secure his position as favourite twin with her by peeing straight on her face as she tried to change his nappy. Axca had been great with them, even if they both started crying the instant they’d been placed in her hold. Uncle Curtis copped a face full of vomit when he’d taken Hunter straight after his feed, and Shiro had been kicked to the sofa for laughing too hard at his boyfriend. Marco also received no love from the boys, Hunter being exceptionally cranky and grizzly, which was later explained by the fact he was cutting his first tooth. Keith was a mess over said tooth, his exhaustion manifesting in tears as he felt his son was far too young for such things, despite Mami assuring him that babies could cut teeth at any age, and that some were even born with teeth. Most of their Christmas Day was spent snoring on the sofa, both he and Keith slumped back and snoring their heads off as Mami chased away the rest of the family. 

As Keith had explained, most of his memory issues did seem to come from the medication. On the nights that he’d actually managed to get the boys down, for all 10 minutes before one would start crying and set his brother off, he watched video after video of his family life in the early days. Cuba had slipped from his mind almost entirely, watching Keith interact with his family were his favourite videos. He must have watched his abuela steal a kiss from his clueless husband a hundred times. The way her eyes twinkled with mischief as she laughed out how handsome Keith was. The look on Keith’s face was priceless, the blush and cluelessness. The shock of what had happened, then the groaning came as his comms translated what his abuela was saying. That was his favourite memory, and his go to video each time he found his arms full with one crying boy, or both. Keith was a fantastic father to the boys, and a fantastic partner to him. Even when they were exhausted to the point of snapping at each other, his husband had made a point of making sure each time they climbed into bed, he’d always tell him he loved him. They didn’t mean to snipe at each other, but damn if the boys weren’t a handful, and double damn if there weren’t quintants that absolutely kicked Lance’s arse, leaving him sobbing at the fact sometimes he wanted to shake his boys until they stopped crying. The guilt festered painfully, he’d never actually shake his boys, but when his heart was broken over and over by his sons’ distress... he didn’t understand how to fix it. Marco tried to help the best he could, yet his brother was better off running the front bar in Lance’s stead. All of the regulars had met the boys, but it was hardly the kind of place you’d let the boys sleep behind the bar. The first few weeks seemed like a dream where they’d sleep for the most part, only crying when hungry or needing a feed. That wasn’t to say the sleepless nights weren’t worth every moment of drooly, happy, wide eyed curiosity and cuddles. Lance loved cuddle time, and he’s sleep with the boys in his arms if he could, but he and Keith had decided given the fact they both suffered nightmares the best thing at night would be for the boys to sleep in their own room, not that always happened. Sometimes they’d fall asleep cradling their boys, sitting upright on their bed as they were both too tired to walk the dozen or so metres to the nursery. 

Having kissed Keith goodbye, Lance was now laying in bed pretending he wasn’t already missing his husband despite the fact Keith had barely been gone for half a varga. Though they’d both been invited to Hunk’s bucks party, and although Hunk had totally wanted to turn his bucks party into a child friendly affair, Lance had insisted he’d be fine watching the boys for the night so Keith could have some fun. Dios knew his husband needed it. The both really needed a break, but Lance figured Keith needed it more. His husband was being so fantastic about everything from making sure Lance kept to a schedule with his medication. Keith was also talking to his councillor almost as regularly as Lance was. Once a phoebe they were scheduled for couples counselling, with Lance having fortnightly appointments around that, provided he could string more than two words together, and provided he could speak to his counsellor alone. Keith had copped more than his fair share of a panicked Lance, that was exactly why he deserved the overnight trip away. With Shiro’s help, Lance had contributed to the bar tab for the night, both Shiro and Curtis coming to collect a reluctant Keith, and a not so reluctant Marco. Lucteal wasn’t sure why he was being dragged along but Lance felt it’d be good for him. Curtis had wanted to stay once he realised they weren’t just taking Keith with them, though part of him wanted to take Curtis up on the offer as he missed his company, saddling Curtis with two grumpy twins seemed like somewhat cruel. Plus, he kind of maybe wanted to try being alone. Now he was regretting his decision, as he laid in the bed that was far too big for him alone. Keith’s pillows had been pulled into his hold, his husband’s scent as calming as it’d always been. The twins were asleep, having cried themselves out for now, leaving him not quite able to do on the off chance the moment of peace would be broken. Laith had started getting cranky, combined with drooling more, Lance suspecting that his boy would be cutting a tooth rather soon. It amazed him how fast they were growing up. Just as it amazed him that Kosmo had finally accepted his role as big brother. If they fell asleep holding the boys, his fur son would curl up on the end of the bed as if to guard them. He’d also taken to sleeping in the nursery more and more, instead of being in bed next to Lance for extra cuddles. 

Just as Lance’s eyes were starting to close, there came a soft knock on his door. His five tick warning before it slid open with a slight grate. With the choices limited, he didn’t bother mustering the strength to fight the need to sleep, knowing it had to be Daehra who was walking across the hazard they called a “bedroom”. Clothes and soft toys now lay across their room in semi sorted bundles. Never on the floor, but always on top of crates which meant stubbed toes if one wasn’t paying attention. When the bed dipped slightly, Lance groaned out a greeting, Daehra laughing softly as his lack of enthusiasm   
“Don’t worry, I won’t take long. I wanted to check in with you, but I see you’re about to fall asleep”  
“What gave you that idea?”  
“The fact you’re exhausted”  
Yep. She didn’t need to be an empath to know that  
“Mmmm... the boys went down for a nap”  
“I wonder how long it’ll be for”  
“Don’t jinx it... is something up?”  
“No, no. Just checking in on you. Tobias wanted to know if you want dinner delivered tonight”  
Ugh. Food was the last thing he wanted. Zero offence to Tobias seeing he’d made a huge effort to pursue his culinary dream, but the thought of sitting up and eating was too much like not sleeping   
“Not tonight... I wanna sleep”  
“You still need to eat”  
Typical Daehra, always the mother hen  
“I will... but first I’ve got a date with some serious sleep”  
“Do you want me to watch the twins tonight?”  
“Nah... the monitors on... I’ll hear them if they need me”  
“Lance, you know you can rely on us... I know you and Keith take being parents seriously, but you do know you can ask for help?”  
Marco, Daehra and Lucteal all stepped up when it came to caring for the twins. Keith and Lance did the lion’s share, but more than once their friends had stepped in when the boys had been crying for what seemed like days. Reaching out his hand and somewhat pathetically patting around until he found Daehra’s, Lance gave it the best squeeze he could  
“I know, and Keith and I couldn’t be more grateful for you guys. You’re family, Dae. I trust you. I’m just going to get a few vargas sleep in, then see how I’m feeling. If anything happens in the bar, wake me up. I don’t want you to feel you have to carry the slack”  
Daehra squeezed his hand softly, before leaning over and pressing a motherly kiss to his forehead  
“Alright. Get some sleep, and I’ll see you later”  
“Yeah... thanks, Dae”

Swaddled up his blankets sleep should have come easily. He was laying down, he was warm and didn’t need to get up to pee. The boys were being quite, the soft tinkering music from the mobile Hunk had made cake through softly on the baby monitor. Keith’s scent was everywhere... So everything was prepared to do the sleep, but it wasn’t happening. Lance had tried tossing and turning. The lights were off, with simply a sliver of light coming from under the bathroom door. Every condition had been met for doing the sleep. Yet the sleep wouldn’t do the cooperate. Lance’s eyes felt as if they had all sand of Daehra’s home planet poured into them as forced them open. As stubborn as he was, he refused to admit that sleep wouldn’t come because Keith wasn’t there. How much he missed his husband shouldn’t matter when he precious few vargas in which to sleep. Keith would want him to rest, he’d be ecstatic at the idea of Lance getting more than a few vargas for feeding. But Keith wasn’t there and he missed him. Attempting to sleep alone simply wasn’t going to work. His bed was far too big. Far too big and Keithless.

Dragging the top blanket of his pile with him, Lance felt like a child sneaking off to climb into his parents‘ beds... only, it was reversed. He was the parent sneaking into his sons’ room feeling 6 inches tall as he did. The nursing chair and the nursery was ridiculously padded, a splurge gift from an overly doting Uncle Curtis. Dressed in a shimmering purple, Curtis had said it reminded him of the twins’ eyes. Shiro had “tried” to stop him, but the other man was just as bad as his partner. Completely incapable of saying no. Little did they know of the babysitting Lance had planned for them once they were back on Earth and somewhat functional adults again. If the Galra had made taking care of screaming, teething infants... well... they would have taken over the universe a hell of a lot easier. Narrowly avoiding tripping over Kosmo, Lance shuffled over to the crib the twins shared. Maybe it was after sharing a womb for 10ish months, but they seemed happier when they shared a crib. His boys looked almost angelic, Laith fast asleep as Hunter stared up at the lions circling his head  
“Hello my handsome little men... Hello, Hunter, you’re not going to scream for daddy if he picks you up, are you?”  
Seeing Hunter was awake, he may as well try feeding him. Both his sons were total gluttons, but lately Hunter’s tooth had started irritating the soft skin of Lance’s nipple. Lance wanted to breast feed them as long as possible but Galra teeth were sharp as quiznak. Keith wouldn’t be complaining if Lance was to get his nipple pierced, yet Lance had the feeling Keith would prefer it done by a professional and not their infant son.

With Hunter in his arms, Lance settled down in the nursing chair. His son grabbing for the top of his loose shirt, like little hungry little womb monster he was  
“Dios. Between you, your brother, and your daddy, my boobs are never going to know a days peace. I’m going to remember this. You’re going to regret this abuse on your 18th”  
Slipping his shirt up, Lance slid down in the chair as he settled Hunter against his breast. The half-Cuban’s nose twitched in pain as Hunter latched, Lance sighing softly as his head lolled back against the chair. Yep. Parenting. Dios. This chair was far too comfortable for an exhausted daddy.

*  
Falling asleep in the nursery, Lance was woken by a loud thump. Followed by a second thump, some faint yelling and a scolding voice. Barking loudly, Kosmo disturbed the silence of the boys. Shifting Hunter to his shoulder, Lance groaned as he shifted, legs tangling slightly in the blanket as he tried to “hurry”. Whatever going on out there, the twins were safer in their nursery. Laying Hunter with his brother, Lance headed out to the hall, stopped short by the sight. Keith was clutching the doorframe to their bedroom. The buttons were torn from Shiro’s shirt, leaving his dress shirt gaping open. Curtis was wearing a set over sized pink sunglasses and matching feather boa. For a Buck’s party happening on Earth, the three idiots in front of him were definitely not where they were supposed to be.

“What the quiznak are you doing?!”  
Whisper yelling, Lance hoped he showed parental annoyance instead of plain ordinary annoyance  
“Lance!”  
Letting go of the doorframe, Keith fell into their bedroom, Shiro going with him. Giggling, Curtis went after his boyfriend's flailing arm  
“Shhhh! Shhhh... Don’t wake the babies...”  
“Lance! Lemme see Laaaaaaance!”  
Lance wished he could smack his head against the closest wall. Keith was drunk and yelling... Lance wouldn’t have a problem with it, if his husband hadn’t decided to bring his drunk arse home. Pulling Shiro up, Shiro in turn pulled Keith up, both men knocking against Curtis  
“Lance! Laaaance!”  
Making a move towards him, Curtis caught keith by the shirt collar  
“Shhh... Keith, you gotta be quieter. Lance... Lance, sorry. Sorry. We had to bring him back hoooome”  
That was obvious by the fact they were in the outpost. Scrubbing at his tired face with his left hand, Lance held his right arm open for Keith, who nearly fell over again as Curtis released his shirt. Striding over to him, Keith buried his face against Lance’s neck  
“Mmmm... I missssssed you!”  
“Mmmm... you’re drunk”  
“Mmmm... why are you “mmmming”?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe because you’re drunk. Let’s get you to bed, then “Dumb Dad One” and “Dumb Dad Two” can explain why the quiznak you’re here and not getting lap dances on Earth”

Manhandling a grabby Keith into their bed, Lance tucked him in. Throwing himself down behind his brother, Shiro landed face first, Curtis shaking his head at the pair of them. Moving to Keith’s feet, Lance started fumbling at his boot laces. Their sheets were going to need a quadruple wash to get all the glitter off... pink glitter and what smelt like really cheap tequila  
“Lance, I’m sorry! I know we were supposed to keep him”  
“What happened?”  
Curtis started counting it off on his fingers  
“He got drunk. A stripper tried to give him a lap dance because Hunk was too flustered. Keith burst into tears and ran out the club. We found him sitting on the curb. He wouldn’t stop crying because you weren’t there. That turned to how proud of our boys he is. Hunk and the others came out the club. Hunk let Keith talk about the twins until he finally got up off the curb. He and Hunk cuddled until the next club. We lost Lucteal. He found Lucteal. Then we lost Matt. Keith found Matt. Then Keith started crying again and Shiro ripped his shirt open. Oh... oh... then Hunk threw up. Right across the bar... They kicked us out for that! Oh! Oh! Lucteal stabbed a poker machine!”  
Oh, Dios... It was everything a Buck’s party was supposed to be... They hadn’t even made it off world by the sound of it  
“You had a fun... time?”

“Laaaaaance! Cuuuuuddle me!”  
“Curtis... I want cuddles tooooooo”  
Shiro went to cuddle Keith, Keith smacking him off before trying to get up  
“I don’t want you! I want my huuuusband!”  
“You can keep your husband! I’m gay!”  
“I’m gay, too!”  
“Ok. That’s enough. You’re both beautiful gay idiots. Curtis, you can crash next to Shiro. Keith, you can stay put. I need to check the boys”  
Keith whined at him, kicking his legs as he did. His hand making grabby motions towards him  
“Why can’t I get up?”  
Ooooh, Lord. He didn’t deserve this... The twins were probably still crying... and his head was aching from this lack of sleep thing  
“Babe, I promise you can cuddle me in a couple of ticks. Just be a good boy and wait”  
“I don’t wanna wait... I wanna cuddles my husband!”  
“Ok, let’s play a game. You count to 500 then you can cuddle me all night long”  
“I don’t know how to count”  
Nope... a drunk and pouty Keith was not going to win him over. The boys had to come first. Even drunk, Keith could rustle up a brain cell. Or maybe the three idiots in his bed could rustle up one to share  
“Then work it out”

Both twins were crying. Laith needed his midnight feed, Hunter needed a nappy change... then Laith needed a nappy change. Kosmo had taken up his spot on the nursing chair, the blanket pathetically laying in a strip over his side. Settling all three of his children down, Lance was sorely tempted to throw himself down on his bed, with the other three children in his care. Curtis’s feather boa had ended up in Keith’s hold. Shiro was still face down, both he and Curtis still had their boots on. The sliver of bed left to him was barely big enough to fit, and the bed that’d been far too big was now too small. That wasn’t going to stop him from trying. Keith’s arms were where he belonged, and damn if he hadn’t been practically going through the motions without him. Pulling off Shiro and Curtis’s boots, Lance set them neatly by Keith’s at the end of the bed, before wrestling the stupid boa out of Keith’s hold and claiming his spot back. Sneaking an arm around his waist, Keith nosed at his neck  
“... fucking love you... fucking perfect fucker... gonna fucking love the fuck out of you...”  
Drunk Keith was no good for his heart. He was too tired to laugh, but fuck if it didn’t make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside  
“I love you too, Mullet”

When Lance woke late in the day, he found Keith sitting quietly on the bed with their boys. Wriggling closer to his family, Keith smiled softly at him as Lance rubbed his cheek against Keith’s knee. His hand warm as he brushed Lance’s hair back. Yawning, Lance nuzzled into the touch. A morning without being woken by crying... this had to be a dream  
“Hey, you”  
“Hey... How’s the head?”  
Keith ducked his head in guilt. For being a drunk fool, his husband didn’t look completely terrible. Maybe a little green around the edges, yet he still looked unfairly gorgeous   
“Better than Shiro. I hope we weren’t too... full on”   
Lance couldn’t remember waking this refreshed since the previous year   
“It’s fine... How long have you been awake?”  
“Long enough... I figured you needed the sleep. Especially after we crashed your quiet night in”  
A little white lie wouldn’t hurt. Keith didn’t need to know he missed him just as much as his sap of a his husband had missed him  
“My night was fine. Quiet... the boys actually slept for a little while. I missed you though. The bed felt too big”  
Keith sighed softly, shifting his gaze from Lance to their boys   
“I missed you too... I drank too much too fast. I felt guilty that you weren’t there, and I’m pretty sure I cried on Hunk’s shoulder”  
Kissing Keith’s knee, Lance hummed. From what Curtis had said, their night had been eventful   
“Babe, you were supposed to have fun. I’m happy you went out. I’m happy you hang out with the guys. You guys weren’t even that bad when you got home. You did wake the boys up, but all in all, things could have been worse”  
“We woke the boys? Shit, babe...”  
Lance kissed Keith’s knee again  
“Which you made up for by letting me have an awesome sleep in. I can’t remember the last time I slept this long”  
“You needed it. I still wish you were there last night. I feel like Marco tried to tape himself to a power pole... He kept saying he was “The Brightest Spark in the Universe”... Oh... Dios... Hunk lost his shirt at some point... Oh, god... Babe... I think... I think Hunk was singing karaoke with Matt... I think that’s when he lost his shirt...”

Lance wouldn’t admit he was jealous as quiznak over being on the outside of it all. Not when he’d volunteered himself to stay home. Still, he was. He knew it was part of his abandonment issues, and also knew that if he’d been there last night it would have hindered his mental health. He wasn’t doing great there, with large crowds likely to do his head in completely   
“As long as you guys had a good time, that’s all that matters. Hunk’s getting married next week. Pidge went to Shay’s party, and she said Shay did body shots off the weirdest, and hairiest, stripper she’s ever seen in her life. They both had a good time, with plenty of time to recover afterwards”  
Shay’s party had been a few days prior. Lance had been invited to Shay’s as well, but Laith felt warm, and Lance felt dead. Shay had reached out shortly before Christmas to ask about chair cover colours as she wasn’t sure she wanted to go with golden yellow and white alone. Now the chair covers were going to be jewel tones to match the Lions, with deep purple instead of Black. Not being native to Earth, the sheer range of colours confused her. Seeing the boys had been sleeping better than they were now, he’d had time to send the hotel where the wedding would be held a quick email about decorating options. The decorations for large scale events was carried out by a contracted firm, who then copped a very long list of questions over their options. Seeing Hunk and Shay had booked phoebs earlier the package was mostly settled, only needing a few tiny tweaks to keep Shay happy. There’d been no update on Shay’s appointments, so Lance hadn’t pushed for details. It wasn’t his place to, not when he didn’t know what was going on. Shay would have been heart broken if she wasn’t able to conceive and knowing more than a few people with the same problem, he knew how devastating a question could be. 

Ruffling his hair, Keith was far too beautiful for Lance to keep his eyes open. The fact he felt so warm and safe wasn’t helping either. Nothing felt better than his family being altogether, while nothing in bed felt better than Keith’s presence there  
“You’re still sleepy?”  
“A bit... You need sleep too. I’ll swap shifts with you”  
“Nah, it’s fine. Daehra gave me some more gel for their gums. They were crying earlier, but they’ve settled now”  
Mmm, Lance had been wondering why their devil twins were being so quiet. Keith was so good with them. Some days it was easy to believe that he wasn’t needed for anything other than his milk, which easily could have been swapped for formula  
“I bet Shiro loved that”  
“He and Curtis are hung over as quiznak. Daehra put them both on drips”  
“Oh how the tides have turned”  
“Hmmm?”  
“Remember when we got drunk on the Atlas and tried to sneak to bed? Now they’re drunk idiots and I’m the sober one”  
Keith laughed softly  
“I have no idea where the glasses and pink thing came from. Matt said tequila shots and it went from there”  
“I can imagine. Are you sure you’ve got them? I don’t want to nap if you’re pushing yourself”  
“You’ve been pushing yourself too”  
“Not as much as you have”  
Keith rolled his eyes with a fake huff, turning his gaze back to Lance as he did. Lance didn’t need to have his eyes open to know that’s exactly what happened. He knew his husband far too well  
“Babe, you literally gave birth. Last night you stayed home with them so I could go out. Let yourself rest. We’ve got the extra milk in the fridge, you’re exhausted, and you need to sleep. Can you imagine how much Mami is going to scold me if I let you turn up in Cuba next week with bags under your eyes?”

They were stopping by in Cuba to pick Mami up for Hunk and Shay’s wedding in a couple of days time. They’d be spending the night in Cuba, then two days in Hawaii before the ceremony. Hunk and Shay had set up a gift registry, with the help of Pidge, that Lance had gone a little crazy for. Having more money than his family, even without working he still received a share of the outpost profits, he’d made sure to shop for Veronica, Rachel, Luis and Lisa, both his parents, Marco, Daehra, Lucteal, the twins, and then Keith and himself. It wasn’t like they were overly dear items. Hunk and Shay had their “on Earth” housing that needed some basic things.

“Mami wouldn’t scold you. She’s had 5 kids remember, plus my family is huge. She’d mother us both up to sleep then watch the boys”  
“So it’d be like Christmas all over again”  
“Pretty mu-u-u-uch...”  
Yawning widely, Lance pulled his blankets tighter. Dios... sleep... he wanted sleep. Borderline drifting off, he was sure it’d only take a half tick more... only one boy started crying and in that half tick, he set his brother off. His sons were definitely torturing him... and they were definitely going to feel his revenge at their at 18th birthday party. Pushing back the blankets enough to sit up, Lance groaned as he head butted Keith’s shoulder  
“I’ll take Hunter, you take Laith”  
“Babe...”  
Of course Keith started to object, his husband was such a loveable idiot  
“It’s fine... we got into this together, we can deal with this together”  
Keith kissed his hair, yep, definitely a loveable idiot  
“Yeah... We can also get out of this together by putting two very sad and sorry uncles to work”  
Lance gave soft snort, before kissing Keith’s arm. He wasn’t about to simply pass his unhappy boys off, neither would Keith. Their welfare always came before the desire to sleep  
“Feed. Nappies. Cuddles. Then uncle duty?”  
Cuddles with Keith sounded amazing. Especially now he could spoon up around his husband again. He loved it. The way Keith moulded against his body as their fingers intertwined  
“Sounds like a plan”

*  
Leaning on the balcony of their room, Lance sipped his mocktail as he watched the waves gently roll back and forth against the yellow sands. There really wasn’t anywhere out there quite like Earth. The hotel they were staying at was a stones throw from the beach, waking up to the sounds of crying gulls and the smell of salt in the air, kind of felt a little bit like waking up in heaven. With everyone else at the wedding rehearsal, Lance had volunteered Keith for a few last minute errands. His husband had been acting weird since they’d left Cuba, almost as if he had too much energy and no idea where to channel it. Their room was spacious, three bedrooms with a small kitchenette in the living area. The walls were a crisp white, the room accented with wood furniture and bright tropical colours, but so far Lance liked the balcony best. It gave him a space to think alone. Mami was taking a nap with the boys, fussing like there was no tomorrow over all the small things. Their suits were hung in the closet, Keith’s sporting a freshly reattached button. The boys had their own small suits, consisting of black pants and white formal shirts. The weather was far too hot for the jacket aspect, but that hadn’t stopped his Mami. The only thing that would have was if it’d been a beach wedding, and not being held in the function room on the ground floor.

Draining the last of his drink, Lance closed his eyes, letting the sun soak into his bronzed skin. He loved his outpost, but this, this what he missed. He missed Earth. Three more months and they’d be moving there... for better or for worse, time only knew. Behind him the glass door to the balcony slid open, had it been his Mami she would have been talking before the door was fully open. Coming up behind him, warm arms wrapped around his waist, Keith’s chin resting on his shoulder  
“Hey, baby. Enjoying the sun?”  
Humming, Lance titled his head against Keith’s   
“Yeah. It’s nice here. I thought you were running errands?”  
“I was. I am. I may be hiding... We’ll never know”  
“Shiro still trying to micro manage everyone?”  
“Coran. He keeps reminiscing over Alfor’s wedding with anyone who walks too close to him”  
Yep. That sounded about right. The man was a proud mess. Hunk had tried to politely tell him not to worry about coming early like everyone else, but Coran was always one to “lend a hand”  
“Mami’s got the boys under control. I’m just enjoying the sun... I don’t think there’s much to do here”  
Having time to think was nice. Having too much time to think was not. A nap in the sun sounded amazing  
“Are you trying to kick me out?”

Turning in Keith’s hold, Lance placed his glass on down on the table near the railing, before cupping his husband’s cheeks  
“No. But I’m not getting in trouble for hiding a wayward errand boy”  
Pouting, Keith failed due to smile  
“Hey, I’m not an errand boy”  
“You are today”  
“That’s nice. Is this what happens when I leave you alone too long?”  
“Yep... This daddy is enjoying his vacation”  
Leaning in, Keith kissed him gently, resting his forehead against Lance’s, lips brushing as his as he spoke  
“I’m happy you’re enjoying yourself”  
“Mmm. It’s nice to relax. The boys are safe with Mami, and the view here is kind of incredible. It’s nice to just stand out here and think”  
“Should I be worried what you’re thinking about?”  
“Not him, I promise”

Him was Krystaal. Being on Earth, where your sworn enemy was, kind of felt like asking for trouble. Krystaal had been there for over two months now, and yet to be any trouble as far as Lance knew. He wasn’t sure why this picturesque place made him think of him, maybe because he had to wonder if Krystaal was the reason Keith was acting strange  
“Good. We talked about this, babe”  
They had and they did. Lance knew all too well the messy entanglements of love. He also knew pride and honour meant more than life to most Galra. Krystaal was truly going to need to be a changed man if he ever hoped to rise back through the ranks in the Blades  
“I know... you’ve just been acting strange since we got here, so I couldn’t help but wonder if you were thinking about him too”  
Keith tensed for a fraction of tick before shaking his head  
“No, babe. I’m not. I didn’t mean to be strange, I just have no idea about weddings”  
That thought had crossed Lance’s mind too  
“I know you don’t, but I promise whatever nerves we’re feeling, Hunk is feeling them a million times worse right now”  
Keith hummed, kissing him gently again  
“I wonder if he wished he eloped. We kind of did”  
“We were tricked by a scheming princess, babe. It’s not quite the same thing”  
“That’s true. As long as you’re ok, that’s the main thing”  
“Ok” was a loose interpretation of Lance’s feelings. He was praying to anyone who’d listen that the twins wouldn’t be too disruptive during the ceremony. His anxiety was leaving him with the urge to scratch when it came to the thought of how many people there’d be there tomorrow, but he was ok. He was safe. They were kind of on their first family holiday, the farm didn’t really count because that was their third home, and now he knew Keith wasn’t thinking of the past he could enjoy the sun all that more  
“Yeah, I’m ok. Just wondering how long of a nap I can get in while the sun’s still up”  
“You have a few more hours. I can take over watching the boys, if you Mami maybe want to pamper yourself at the day spa”  
“Nah, I’m fine. I’d rather be out here in the fresh air. Besides, Mr Errand Boy, you’re going to get me in trouble if you shirk your duties”

Groaning, Keith moved to drop his forehead against Lance’s shoulder  
“I don’t know if I have the strength. I wanna stay here with you”  
Warmth blossomed throughout Lance’s body. He could hear those words a million times and still be left all “warm and glowy” from them  
“That’s not playing fair”  
“Is it working?”  
“Far too well. How many jobs do you have?”  
“I need to pick up the new name cards from the printers and check in with Pidge over the audio visual system. Shiro wants me to check the bar tab is all set up. Curtis spilt something on his suit so I need to pick up from the dry cleaners... all while avoiding Coran”  
Pidge was snappy too. Because Hunk expected perfection, and with both of them if a technical mind, they both had different ideas on how things should run  
“My poor husband. Why do we need new name cards?”  
“There were a few names spelled wrong. Hunk actually yelled at the poor guy on the other end of the phone”  
Lance cringed, sympathising with the poor printer. The yelling had started at breakfast, Lance unable to escape politely until the boys started crying  
“Make sure you apologise for him... He’s turned into “Groom-zilla””  
“I noticed that. I’m glad our wedding wasn’t this stressful. I think I would have been hiding under our bed if it’d been”  
Lance could see it. Shiro would be stressing himself sick, pacing around the bed while he and Keith kept their hands over their mouths in an attempt not to be found  
“I would have been right there with you”  
Kissing Keith’s hair, Lance didn’t want to let him go again. There were two sun lounges on the balcony, plenty of space for them both to be napping  
“I know... want to come be there with me, now?”  
Oh no... He was wavering... Exploring their surrounds was starting to sound more interesting than waiting for the boys to wake up for their feed  
“How do you propose we do that? I can’t promise I won’t start crying if Hunk gets cranky”  
“I’m not going to make you come if you don’t want to. I’m being selfish... I missed you all morning”  
Damnit... his nap... his resolve... his hand made and delivered tropical mocktails... The only reason he was feeling refreshed was because of his mother. She’d taken one look at them on her doorstep then sent them to bed  
“I know, but when you ask me like this, I don’t know if I can say no... Even at the cost of that nap. I supposed I could climb down the drainpipe...”  
Their room was on the second floor of the hotel. The place unfortunately lacking convenient air vents  
“We could take the stairs and hope for the best? You know, like normal people?”  
“And run the risk? Do you want more errands? Because I feel like this is how you get more errands”  
Lifting his head, Keith pulled a face  
“I don’t want more errands... I keep getting directionally misplaced”  
Lance now had the feeling his husband had spent more of the day lost than actually helping with the wedding. They’d come this far and he wasn’t going to let Keith depressed over being continuously lost or thinking he was letting everyone down because he was terrible with directions  
“Let me tell Mami I’m going with you, then we’ll climb down from here”  
“I’ll climb first... I could probably catch you if you jumped...”  
“That’s a stupid plan. I’m not taking you to Hunk’s wedding with a broken arm, and I’m not even going to try explaining that to Shiro either. No. You wait here, and I’ll be right back”

Keith didn’t land his landing coming off the drainpipe. Landing on his hands and knees, his husband groaned, dropping down and rolling over to raise his slightly skinned hands. It wasn’t a great start to their adventure. Taking his idiot husband by the hands, Lance pulled him to his feet  
“What part of “Don’t get hurt”, didn’t you understand?”  
“Air vents are easier”  
“Of course they are. We won’t be climbing up the same way we got down”  
They’d slightly bent the down-pipe with their boots, the ancient screws in the brackets hadn’t appreciated their weight. Keith weighed a ton with his muscle weight, while Lance was still sporting belly fat from his pregnancy. He missed his smooth toned stomach, so proud of his body, but it was nice to be able to see his feet again and Keith never forced him to show his body to him knowing he was uncomfortable  
“I’ll find a way to smuggle you back up to your balcony”  
“So romantic. My Prince Charming with skinned palms. You wouldn’t have this problem if you were wearing your gloves”  
“I had to wash them...”  
Probably thanks to a changing mishap with one of their boys  
“Sounds about right. I could have grabbed you a pair of mine if you’d said. Now, where do we need to go first?”  
Keith sighed dramatically, the half-Galra had been picking up far too many of his mannerisms, and they were doing some major things to his heart. He loved his idiot so quiznakking much that he wouldn’t be surprised if Keith could see the hearts in his eyes  
“Name tags first. It’s the furthest from here. That way we won’t have to carry everything else with us”  
“Smart thinking. Let’s go before they catch us”

Enjoying spending their time exploring, they talked as they walked. Lance felt naked without their boys with them, yet it was kind of nice to pretend their lives weren’t organised chaos. Holding hands, Lance covertly led Keith through the streets as they followed the directions coming from Keith’s comms. Hawaii was nothing like Keith’s shack in the desert. People and colour were everywhere they looked, meaning it was impossible to keep a low profile. Repeatedly strangers came up to congratulate them, repeatedly people threw them dirty looks, and repeatedly Lance resisted the urge to bolt back to the hotel because he was enjoying holding his husband’s hand like this. Catching his yo-yoing moods, Keith nudged him with his hip   
“Want to talk about it?”  
Letting Keith tug him close, they moved to his husband wrapping his arm around his waist to hold him close  
“No... it’s mostly anxiety”  
“Too many people?”  
Waaay too many  
“Just a few. We’re pretty isolated at the outpost”  
“That we are. I forget how famous we are”  
“That and you’re hot as hell”  
Keith nudged him with his hip again  
“I’m not that hot. Seriously, if this is getting too much, we can find a shortcut back”  
Ha! Damn, he wished he’d recorded Keith admitting he thought he was hot. Scolding him, there was no way they were deviating from the GPS route  
“Babe, your shortcuts were what you got you lost to begin with”  
“It was the GPS, not me. I think Pidge hacked it or something”  
“Now you’re being paranoid”  
Hunk was already a great big anger muffin that their resident Gremlin wasn’t about to prod into exploding  
“It’s not paranoia if someone is out to get you”  
As Lance’s stomach dropped, Keith swore softly over what he’d said. Pulling him into a proper hug, his husband kissed his hair   
“Sorry. Sorry, that was stupid of me. He’s not going to lay a finger on you”  
“I know he won’t. I trust Krolia’s judgment in his punishment”  
“I know you do, babe. I should have thought about what I was going to say”  
“No. It’s fine. I mean, you’re joking. I know you’re joking”

Keith was, and Lance did trust in Krolia’s judgement. Initially he was pissed, Krolia’s name was banned for a good two movements until he had time to think. He wasn’t sure that he didn’t want Krystaal to die for what he’d done, but Keith would grieve the loss of his one time friend, meaning he’d never be able to put the trauma behind him. There’d be a dark and angry stain on Keith’s heart that Lance refused to allow. They’d talked about the conversation while he’d still be in hospital. Unfortunately, and annoyingly, Lance could see how Krystaal had fallen in love with Keith. After all, he’d warned his dumb arse husband repeatedly over the way Krystaal felt, and as with most Galra, Krystaal probably never had those close family binds. He’d been dragged up through a cruel military based system that Keith had helped over turn. If it wasn’t for the fact Lance didn’t particularly care to ever see him again, he’d pay good GAC to watch Krystaal humble himself around other humans. The race that were perfectly fine existing, as long as they weren’t married to the most human looking of all Galra. Krolia had placed safety measures in place, Krystaal was getting therapy, he’d be forced to work for his forgiveness... yep, that was the end of it. Lance was hardly in the position to deny anyone a second chance, not with the shit he’d pulled. He didn’t feel threatened by Krystaal, not anymore. He didn’t even feel threatened by Krystaal’s love for Keith. He just felt pity. Nuzzling into his husband, Lance closed his eyes. No one was out to get them now. Taking a few deep breaths, Lance clutched at Keith shirt, blocking out the world as he enjoyed the feel of the man he loved  
“I’m alright. I’m ok... We’ve already picked up the guest cards... Do you want to get something to eat?”  
“Yeah, babe. That sounds good”  
Lance could hear Keith’s concern, he supposed his scent was all over the place, just like Keith’s was laced with worry. Quiznak, he loved this man.

Their lunch date was interrupted. Picking a cafe closer to the hotel, they really should have expected their little bit of stolen peace to be broken. Sharing a platter of mixed tapas, most of the meal had been picked away as they played footsies under the table, disgustingly in love. Lance was nearly dying from Keith’s questioning of what they were eating and his running commentary over how it fared when compared to Mami and Hunk’s culinary skills. Coran had sent himself off on an errand to find the missing Keith, only to have gotten himself lost a few short streets away from the hotel. Coran was so flustered that he very nearly burst into tears as he raced towards them, before crushing Lance in a far too tight embrace. Anxious over Curtis’s suit, Lance handed over the guest cards and kissed his husband goodbye for the next few hours as Coran needed a babysitter more than his husband did. Keith off to collect Curtis’s suit, while Lance set off back to the hotel with Coran. Coran was trying his hardest, he really was, but he was just as bad as Lance when it came to functions. Everything had to be perfect, despite the fact that one couldn’t control the actions of others. Apologising profusely for his state, their strange Space Uncle had slipped back into reminiscing over Alfor’s wedding by the time they reached the hotel. Caught up in his story telling, Lance ushered him through the hotel and into the elevator, performing a community service by kidnapping Coran up to their hotel room to gush over the twins. He’d missed his boys, he wished they’d come with him and Keith as they’d explored. There was a whole world out there for them to see, for them to explore. Lance wanted to make as many memories with his boys as possible. He wanted to show them every single wonder of what made Earth extraordinary, despite how tiny they were.

Mami was pacing with both boys on her shoulders, Laith and Hunter serenading her unhappily. Jogging the few steps to his Mami, Lance dropped kisses on both their heads  
“Oh, my babies! It’s alright, daddy is back. Was your abuela being mean? Did she not tell you how perfect and handsome you are? Never mind, I’m here my big little men”  
“Neither wanted to take the bottle. They’ve both be changed, all nice and fresh. I thought you left with Keith”  
“I did, but Coran needs quality uncle time... and everyone needed a small break from said uncle”  
Whispering the second part, Lance lifted Hunter off his Mami’s shoulder. Smiling at his cranky baby, Hunter kicked his chubby legs unhappily  
“Yes. I know. You’re a bottomless pit. Yes, you are. Coran, do want to hold Laith? I need to feed Hunter first, he gets super hangry”  
“We can’t have that. Miriam, it’s lovely to see you again. Can you believe... our... Hunk is marrying our Shay? I remember the morning of Alfor’s wedding...”  
Lance leaned into his Mami, his Mami kissing his cheek to hide him quickly explaining  
“He’s been pretty much repeating the story to everyone. He doesn’t really know what to do with himself. Keith and found him lost in town”  
“Oh, dear. Coran, lovely to see you, too. Why don’t I make us all a nice cup of tea and you can explain to me what happened that morning. I’m sure Altean wedding rituals are vastly differently to those on Earth”  
His Mami was a saint. An absolute saint. Coran needed this and she was pretty much saving everyone downstairs   
“That they are... The sky was filled with raining rock, the night before we’d hunted down a wild Terrbams. Fierce little blitters. The secret it not to let them bite”  
Coran was off in fantasy mode, his Mami kissing him on the cheek again before he was waved towards the sofa to settle down with Hunter. 

Coran talked and talked, then talked so some more. As Lance fed Hunter, he missed his husband. For the first few peaceful weeks Keith had stayed at his side for each feed. Cuddled into his side, Keith had soothed the emotions that came with feeding, not quite able to believe that his body was capable of providing for his sons, nor that his body could have changed so much. When things got too much, Keith would kiss his hair, tell him that this was natural and nothing to be ashamed of, and praise him until he felt warm inside. 

Working around his hungry son, Lance opened his comms. His memory had gotten better, but he still kept his diary. Sometimes he found himself unable to tell if something had actually happened having to rely on his diary to sort the fact from dream. Though anxious, walking around with his husband hadn’t been all bad. And though anxious about the rehearsal dinner later that night, things were better than they’d been... Yet as he started typing his day so far, his words didn’t match the happiness. Without Keith by his side, he knew he couldn’t handle being here, in this moment, in this hotel, with his sons, if he didn’t have Keith. He was surrounded by people who supported him, despite the stupid shit he’d pulled, but none of them were Keith. No one understood him like Keith. Had his husband been there, he’d have caught the rising anxiety attack sneaking up on him. He would have taken his comms before his fingers starting describing his inadequacies. He’d been inadequate today, Keith greeting everyone who’d come up to him instead of him. His husband forced to babysit him, despite him pretending it was the other way around. All he wanted was one good day. One day when he felt he was doing enough as a father, so why was it now that on what had been a good day, his mind was pulling all these emotions out of nowhere. The twins had been perfectly fine with his Mami. She knew what to do. There wasn’t some boogeyman hiding around the corner waiting to pounce. Heck, Coran was right there across from him with Laith. His Mami could be heard humming as she waited for the kettle to boil. Hunter would soon be done feeding. He was used to feeding...

“Lance, my boy, are you ok?”

Shit. He was crying. He hadn’t felt the tears roll down his cheek  
“Miriam”  
Calling for his Mami, Coran was still holding a grizzling Laith. Pattering over to him, his Mami took his face in her hands as she kissed his forehead   
“Mijo, it’s alright”  
“S-Sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying like this”  
“It happens, sweetheart. It’s alright. You’re alright. Would you like me to call Keith?”  
Keith still had errands to do, Pidge to talk to, and a suit to deliver. His role was to keep Coran out their hair, not scare him away with his water works. Breathing. Shaking his head, he didn’t want to disturb Keith. He’d had a good time with his husband. His anxiety was being stupid for no good reason  
“No. I’m ok. I’m ok... I’m ok. It’s my head being stupid”  
How was supposed to explain that after being around Keith practically full time even a handful of minutes separated left him off kilter? How was he supposed to explain that his family didn’t seem to be enough to keep him grounded? His Mami wouldn’t understand and he didn’t want to hurt her, not when she was supposed to be here to relax. Wiping at his cheeks with the pads of her thumbs, her voice was loving but firm  
“Mijo, nothing about you is stupid. Nothing. You are my precious baby boy. I know you can’t help your emotions, but there’s no need to cry”  
That last past didn’t reassure his anxieties, if anything, it made him feel slightly stupider for being an anxious mess. Sitting there with his breast out, he was starting to feel stupidly anxious over his mother seeing his chest  
“I... I’m sorry. Do you mind if I take the boys and lay down for a bit?”  
“I’ll take Hunter when he’s done, you feed Laith, then leave them to me. Coran and I will be perfectly fine”  
He couldn’t argue with that. His Mami knew how to raise children, while he was a stupid mess  
“Yeah. Yeah. I must have overdone it in town... a lot of people wanted to talk to us”  
“Of course they did, they all watched on as you and Keith made us proud. Now dry those tears before that handsome husband of yours come back. He’ll only worry if he sees you so upset, especially seeing we’re all here for such a joyous occasion”  
“Yes, Mami”  
Giving him another kiss, his mother was soon letting him go as she went off to make the tea for the three of them. He didn’t mean to cry. He’d actually prefer it if his stupid emotions would stop making him look so bad. He’d been this big shot bounty collector, and now he couldn’t handle everyday life. Talk about being pathetic.

His Mami’s words stuck in his brain as he fed Laith. Coran had thankfully stopped talking about Alfor, nunvil and the cloak they’d made from some wild beast, settling down to explain to Hunter that the thing on his face was a moustache, and that said moustache was attached despite how hard he tugged on it. His Mami was right. She was always right. They had thing under control without his helping. Placing his heels on the edge of the coffee table, Lance flinched as he knocked the full cup of tea from the glass surface onto the tiles, shattering the cup. Jumping at the noise, his cheeks reddened with embarrassment as he’d completely forgotten the cup was untouched on the table, he’d only wanted to relieved some of the pressure on his lower back. They’d patched him up as good as new on Erathus, yet he still suffered nerve pain down his right leg if he sat too long in certain positions  
“Lance!”  
Flinching again at his mother growling his name, his nerves were completely fried by the accident as it was. His heart starting to race as he automatically went to curl around his son   
“Don’t move. This is why we don’t put our feet on the table... Oh dear, you’ve made quite the mess...”  
“I’m sorry. This chair isn’t great for feeding”  
“Then you should have stood up. There’s nothing wrong with walking while you’re feeding”  
No, but it did make it hard to seem as if he was paying attention to Coran and his Mami when he wouldn’t be able to face both of them if he was pacing as he fed. Chewing his bottom lip he looked down to see Laith’s fat cheeks had stopped moving, his lips now loosely around Lance’s nipple  
“I think Laith’s done as it is. I might put him down in our room while I take a nap...”  
“Mijo, I know you want to handle this on your own, but you don’t need to. Now you let me clean this mess up, then you can go for that nap without any worries”  
“It’s fine. I spent a few hours away from them as it is... I kind of want them near me”  
“You’ll be sleeping, sweetheart. I’ll handle the twins until Keith comes back. I’ve missed my little men with you living off world”

He was defeated by his mother. Lifting Laith from his chest to his shoulder, he burped him carefully as he held him close. He loved his Mami, he loved her and knew she was trying to help. He knew nothing she said was meant to be cruel, but every word felt as if he was smacked in the heart. These were his boys. He was the one spending all those sleepless nights with them. He was the one missing showering, and usually walking around with vomit in his hair, because he was the one who was always there with them. It was the same feeling he had when separated from Keith, a deep feeling that the situation wasn’t right. Never mind that secondary thing in his head constantly telling him he needed to protect his boys. He couldn’t be more quiznakking protective if he tried  
“Lance, my boy. Do you mind if I have a quick word with you before your nap?”  
Lance wasn’t sure if Coran was attempting to help him, or if he actually wanted to talk to him. He felt bad for barely saying anything to Coran since they’d returned to the hotel room  
“Sure. I should warn you, the room is kind of a mess. I swear the twins go through six times the amount of clothes that Keith and I do”

Forcing his lanky frame to unfold as he gave an equally uncomfortable laugh, Lance ignored his mother’s annoyance as he tried to escape to the bedroom with both his boys with him. Shuffling along the sofa, he climbed over the arm, silently congratulating himself for not stepping in the split tea or on the broken ceramic shards. Taking two sidesteps away from the destruction he caused, his mother was already intercepting his escape  
“Let me take Laith from you, I’ll settle him down then come back for this mess...”  
“Mami, I’ve got him”  
“I know you do, but this way you and Coran can have a nice talk before your nap”  
Reaching up to support Laith, his son was taken from his hold, the boy grumbling as he was moved. He’d been settled on Lance’s shoulder, Lance hoping that his presence would lull his son to sleep now he had nothing to be angry over  
“See, there we are. Now you go talk. I know you’ve missed Coran”  
He wasn’t five, and Coran wasn’t some friend from down the road that his Mami thought he was neglecting. He had missed Coran. Life got so busy sometimes that days slipped away between communications, but he was almost always happy to hear from him. Robbed of cuddles with one son, he’d had have to make do with watching Hunter continue stare up at Coran. Cuddles were the best part of being a parent, especially when his sons would smile at him. Tummy time was their favourite time, provided they weren’t too cranky to protest. He’d never really thought about how much he talked to their boys, though when he was trying to calm them it was usually a near constant stream. Keith had said at 2 months their boys could recognise their voices. Hunter hadn’t heard a lot of Coran’s voice, but must have liked what he heard to be so transfixed in his great-uncle  
“I have. Ours is the closed door...”

Following him into the bedroom, Lance threw himself down on the bed before patting the spot next to him for Coran to sit. Sure, he wanted to nap. He probably needed a nap, but the nap was more an excuse to lay in his bed and destress. Sitting next to him, with his back against the headboard, Coran patted his shoulder  
“How’ve you been, my boy? I couldn’t help but notice you seem a little down”  
Coran knew him too well to buy his lies... most of time. Attempting to lie to him now wouldn’t work  
“Up and down. More down than up. Stressed. You know, the usual”  
“Ahhhh. The joys of being new parents. I remember how scared Alfor was that he’d drop Allura”  
“I can imagine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so off. Mami keeps sending me for nap time, it gets a bit repetitive when she won’t let me cuddle or play with the boys”  
“You did say you were going to take a nap”  
“Yeah... I guess this ones on me. Hunter seems really taken with you”  
“Would you like him back?”  
Now he was laying down, he just wanted to lay there next to Coran   
“No, no. You don’t have to keep cuddling him though. If you lay him on your legs he likes it when you clap his hands together”  
“Already playing... he’s growing up so fast”  
“They both are. They’ve both got teeth. They both love laying on their stomachs and looking up. They’re both bottomless pits like their other father. Keith loves bath time, but I like cuddles and playing better. Especially when they haven’t spent days screaming”  
His voice wobbled at Keith’s name, his patheticness showing. Laughing softly, Coran went about laying Hunter along his legs. The baby boy still gazing up at Coran, but finding he could suck on his fingers at the same time. Dios, his sons were far too adorable  
“You’re missing Keith”  
“Yeah... Yeah. I know it’s pathetic, but he’s been amazing. He’s been amazing with me since... well, since everything happened. Sometimes we still fight, but he always makes sure to tell me he loves me before he goes to sleep. It’s just... we’ve been together almost all day every day, for the most part. Mami wanted me back home after the surgery, but Keith brought me back to the outpost, made sure I was comfortable and all that... I know she’s trying to help and I know she’s trying to be as supportive as she can, but my anxiety can’t handle it. I feel like she thinks I can’t raise the boys, when I know that’s not what she means at all...”

Watching Coran bring a bubbly smile to Hunter’s lips as he took his drooly hands to start slowly clapping them together, Lance remembered he’d completely forgotten Coran had had a family of his own. His experience wasn’t just from Allura, but also the family he’d lost thanks to this stupid war  
“He really likes you. I wish Laith was here to play with you too. He’d love it”  
“They’re beautiful boys. You and Keith did so well...”  
“Nah, they’re all Keith. We’ve got a bet on. I think the only thing the boys got from me is their skin colour. I think Hunter is going to end up with darker skin than Laith, but both boys aren’t going to be as brown as I am”  
“Laith looks more like you. You both pull the same faces. Anyone who met him would know he’s your child”  
“You think so?”  
“Indeed. Don’t sell yourself short, you and Keith have done the Voltron legacy proud with our next generation of little Paladins. Hooo-wee. He’s cuter than a swarm of dahgreap in a juniper field”

Lance would rather die than let his boys be Paladins. He’d rather spend every day of his life flying around in Red and risking death alone than let them fight in a intergalactic war. Being a Paladin would never not bring up mixed feelings. Plus, who said a swarm of anything was ever cute. A swarm of bees wasn’t cute, nor was a swarm of wasps. Pouting, Lance pulled himself up to sit beside Coran. There was something Coran was trying to say that all his stories weren’t getting across, at least that how he felt. No person without a distracted mind would be comparing the twins to a swarm otherwise  
“Swarms are not cute. My son is perfect. Both of them are perfect. Hey, Coran... Do you think... Do you think Allura would have been okay with how everything’s turned out? Do you think she would have liked the boys? She... she would have wanted to be here with us, wouldn’t she?”  
“I miss her so much”  
Slinging his arm around Coran’s shoulders, he pulled his weird uncle close. Coran sniffled softly   
“I do too. It’s... Hunk and Shay are finally getting married. I wish she could see this. She would have loved helping Shay with her dress”  
“She would have. And I know she would loved these little boys of yours. Wherever she went, I’m sure she’ll be smiling down on the wedding tomorrow”  
“Yeah, she would be. She was like that, she always had love for everyone. If she was here she’d be down there helping with all the plans”  
“You’re all growing up too fast...”  
Ahhh... He recognised that sentence. His anxiety fed on the same though pattern  
“Hey, even if we are, you’re still going to be our “Weird Space Uncle”. Me and Keith, we’re always going to want you in our lives, in the lives of our kids. We’re family. You especially. Don’t tell Shiro and Curtis, but you’ll always be the first person I come to, other than Keith”  
“I’ve missed you! I know you can’t come to Altea, but we all miss you! The kids miss your lessons...”  
“I miss them too. Maybe when we get settled, I can bring the boys out to meet everyone? Don’t forget we’ll be there for Allura day”  
“You will be?”

He’d really let his friendship with Coran suffer. He hadn’t meant to drift so far from the man, at least not far enough to sound so surprised  
“Of course. Look, Coran, you’ve always been our space uncle. You’ll always be our space uncle. You’ll have so much to teach the boys when they’re older, and I’m counting on you for that. Maybe wait until they’re 30 before starting the weapons training, but you can expect plenty of sleep overs. Keith and I haven’t planned through what we’re going to do when we move back to Earth. Keith’s probably going to find a job, and I think I’m going to take a break from everything for a while, so you can come stay at Keith’s shack with me. I know I’ll be grateful for the company. I want to make as many good memories with the boys as I can”  
“Oh, no. You don’t have to feel you have to invite an old fuddy like me”  
“I don’t feel that I have to invite you, I want to. You’re always going to be special to me”  
“You’ve always been special to me too, my boy”  
“Given all those times I helped you clean the Castle’s pod, I better be”  
“You were also the only one who listened to all my stories”  
“Coran, the Castle wouldn’t have been a home without those stories”

Half the stories he could have done without hearing, less than half he remembered, but Coran had needed that friend on the Castle. He needed that human contact like Lance had needed and hadn’t found in the others. Especially after Keith had left. Coran had been his rock until he’d become too busy for him. Now he was getting depressed again. Kicking his chubby legs, Lance’s face softened with love for Hunter. He wanted to be a good father for him. He wanted to give him and Laith the whole world, or as much of it as he could. Watching Coran play, Lance let out a soft sigh, unable to restrain himself from tugging down Hunter’s rising jumper  
“You make a fine father, Lance”  
“Thanks, Coran. I might take that nap after all...”  
“Alright, my boy. Should I settle him down with you?”  
With his yo-yo mood, the risk of a nightmare was far too high. Though he’d started learning how to forgive him, he’d never be able to forgive hurting his baby boy  
“No, no. He’s happier with his brother. They throw the biggest tantrums if you try to put them to bed without each other. Seeing he’s awake, he’ll like playing with his brother. They can’t actually play, but they know each other when you set them down for tummy time together”  
“Tummy time?”  
“You lay them down on their tummies. Laith loves it”  
Coran hummed, Lance wondered if he thought that “tummy time” was something akin to having a case of the “slipperies”. Oh, Dios... He did need that nap. His sons weren’t penguins, no belly slides were necessary   
“I shall have to ask Miriam to show me this “tummy time””  
“Yeah. Thanks for the chat, Coran”  
“Any time. I mean it. Any time you need, Lance”  
Despite the sincere offer, they both knew he most probably cash in it on. Nodding tiredly, Lance supposed that maybe when he finally loved himself a little more he’d be able to. The only answer he could that wouldn’t trap him either way in the future was a simple  
“I know”


	63. Chapter 63

Lance’s nap came easily after Coran left. Without Coran he was able to pour all those messed up feelings messing with head into his diary. He was able to let himself cry softly as he vented out his frustrations. Coran had needed him. He needed him because he was afraid of what came after the wedding. He was afraid of the inevitable drifting apart that came with time. Lance had dealt with that fear with anger and isolation, Coran couldn’t be angry to save his life, no, he was far too invested in their lives to ever seperate the complex web of separation that personal growth brought. The conversations and interactions that changed. The times hanging out that morphed into the occasional visit and even rarer call. Lance had lived through that before, he’d been the one shunned as Coran currently felt he was being. All he wanted was that tiny sliver of space in the lives of the children he’d nurtured into adults. It was a sucky feeling. You couldn’t control the actions of others, nor did they mean to slip up with keeping contact with Coran. Not like when they’d left him. Not like when they’d shunned him when he’d needed them so badly. Dios. Humans were such complicated creatures... he just... he couldn’t... 

Waking from his nap the moment the mattress dipped, Lance opened his sore eyes to his husband’s worried face. Climbing under the covers, Keith settled laying face to face, his hand coming to rest on Lance’s cheek  
“Hey, you”  
“Hey...”  
His voice sounded wrecked from crying. His nose all blocked up and snotty, hardly an attractive sight for his husband to return to  
“Long day?”  
Lance snorted, his arm coming up to snake around Keith’s waist as he wriggled up to his husband   
“You could say that”  
“Want to tell me about it?”  
“Not much to tell... Just feeling a little down”  
“Coran said you missed me”  
“He’s a big fat dobber”  
Hooking his leg over Lance’s, Keith cuddled into him  
“I missed you”  
“You saw me earlier”  
“I still missed you. You wouldn’t believe the chaos... I want the day to end already”  
“I’m pretty sure I would believe the chaos. You complained about it enough on our walk”  
“That was before Pidge tore her dress”  
Lance’s eyes widened. Hunk was liable to murder Pidge if he found out about the torn dress  
“She did what?!”  
“She tripped. She’s trying to find someone to help, but she’s scared of being caught”  
“And you left her alone?”  
“She said she had it handled”  
Taking a welding torch to the dress was only inviting unwanted results. His heart actually hurt for his friend. Pidge would be in tears over damaging the dress  
“Keeeeith. Nooo. You can’t leave this to her. If she tries to fix it and fails, she’s going to be a wreck”  
“What am I supposed to do? I can’t sew a dress, it took Mami to fix the button on my jacket. Do we bring it to her?”  
Lance shook his head  
“No, Mami might let it slip by accident. Coran would definitely let it slip by accident. Pidge needs help and has to be us”  
“Babe, you’re exhausted”  
“I’ll be worse if we don’t help. She’s stressed enough about being in a dress to begin with. You haven’t seen Pidge cry like I have. I’m not going to let our resident gremlin cry when we can help”  
“I can’t sew a dress...”  
“I can. I used to help with all chores at home. I helped Nadia with the kids Halloween costumes”  
“A bridesmaid dress isn’t a Halloween costume”  
“Pidge would disagree”  
“You can’t be serious. Babe, your eyes are so red that they have to be painful”  
“Look, Mami and I spent the afternoon babysitting Coran. You spent the day running errands. The wedding is tomorrow so something has to be done sooner rather than later. Go get the dress, I’ll get the first aid kit out my bag”  
“Lance...”  
Nope. Keith had woken him up with the promises of cuddling, then dropped this on him. He wasn’t about to let himself be happy when Pidge would be panicked   
“Keith, I don’t have time to be a wreck when Hunk’s wedding is on the line. I promise we can talk about it tonight”  
“The dress can wait”  
“The dress can’t wait. Pidge would be wracked with guilt all through dinner if she has to lie about the damage”  
“And what about you? You’re not ok. The whole room stinks like your pain. You’ve been crying your eyes out. Mami said you’d gone down for a nap. Coran said you were panicking earlier. From what I’ve heard you’ve barely spent any time with the boys. You need a breather”

Sighing softly, Lance nodded. Yeah. He needed some quality husband and baby time. He needed cuddles with his little family. He needed Keith to see him smile. He wanted to see that twinkle in his husband’s eyes, not his drawn brow with thin frowny lips. Kissing said frowny lips, Keith couldn’t remain mad at him, despite barely kissing him back   
“I know... I know. All I’ve wanted to do was curl up with you. I can’t do anything without you, you know that, right? You’re my world. I love you. I love you and I know you won’t steer me wrong or say this to be mean, but right now I really need to do this for Pidge”  
“Babe, you can’t keep pushing yourself. I know you want to help. I know you’re strong, but when you push too hard... I don’t want you to be sad”  
“I know you don’t. I know and I love you so much for it. If it... if it was me, she’d help. She did. She stole a pod for us... and I want Hunk to have best wedding he could imagine. I want him and Shay to be happy”

Keith let out an unarticulated grumble under his breath   
“What was that?”  
“I said “fine”. I’ll get Pidge and the dress. What do I tell Mami?”  
“Pidge was fitted for the dress. I can work without the gremlin. Tell her not to worry and she can pick the dress up later tonight”  
“I was so close to being done with errands”  
“I know you were. I know and I’m so proud of you”  
Keith huffed through his nose, his husband was as much a slut for praise as he was  
“How proud?”  
“I’m more proud of you than there are stars in universe”  
Keith let out a breathy laugh  
“Babe, that’s ridiculous. You know we can’t even count how many stars there are“  
“That must mean I’m infinitely proud of you”  
“Not when there has to be... just, no. It’s not possible”  
“It is and I am. Seriously, I’m so quiznakking proud to be your husband. I’m proud of the man you’ve become, and I’m proud of the fact you are the man that fathered our boys”  
Keith blinked at him, then blinked twice more. His eyes were welling with tears. Lance didn’t want tears   
“Hey, no. No crying. I don’t want you to cry”  
Kissing him hard, Lance could feel Keith’s emotions behind the kiss. Deepening the kiss, it was the most intimate kiss they’d shared since the birth of their boys. Knowing he wasn’t ready, their kisses had been soft and loving, full of reassurance of their feelings and the assurance that there was no rush to dive back in between the sheets. This kiss left Lance feeling slightly breathless as warmth pooled in his belly. His cheeks almost hurting from how widely he was smiling as the nuzzled into each other’s cheeks  
“I love you, Lance. I love you. And I’m so fucking proud of you... I’m so fucking happy to have you. I know it’s not easy when I’m being weird, but I promise it’s not for any bad reason”  
“I know it wouldn’t be. I’ve got your back Samurai, and you’ve got mine”  
“Always. Lance and Keith, neck and neck. Rivals for life”  
“Accidental and idiot husbands?”  
Lance snorted, as if Keith even had to ask that  
“Always. In every single life, I choose you”  
“I choose you, too, Sharp Shooter”  
“Good. Now go get that dress and get your arse back here. I’ve missed it”  
“I’ve missed this arse of yours too. Do you know how close the dry cleaner actually was? Literally a 15 minute walk. 15 minutes. He could have walked there while everyone was at the rehearsal. I swear Curtis was getting revenge for us leaving them to babysit when they hung over”  
“Aww. My poor husband... I promise that big bad Curtis won’t send you on anymore errands. I’ll shoot him in the foot if he even thinks of it”  
With a playful shove, Keith detangled himself from his “cuddly octopus” hold  
“We both know you wouldn’t, but I appreciate the thought”  
“No, I wouldn’t... damn me. I’m too damn nice”  
“It’s a problem you’ll have to work on”  
Flopping onto his back dramatically, Lance threw an arm over his face   
“Oh woe is me...”  
Copping a pillow to the face mid-complaint, the Cuban spluttered. He was prepared to be mad until Keith lifted the corner of the pillow so he could steal a quick kiss  
“Try not to let your dramatic arse expire until I return”  
“Even then, I offer no guarantees”  
With another quick kiss Keith was soon off the bed and out the door, Lance left feeling like a dopey love struck idiot in his wake.

*  
The wedding ceremony was beautiful. The hotel chapel was incredible. Dressed in bouquets of lilies and roses, violets, daisies, and a dozen other types of flowers, Lance had cried his way through the whole ceremony. Shay looked incredible, Hunk literally turning red as she took his breath away. Both of them adorably nervous over it all, but so in love that anything outside their little bubble really didn’t exist. It was the kind of big white wedding Lance had wanted. The chapel itself was a wash of pastel paints on a chalk white wall, each colour lightened with age rather than artistic intent. Pidge looked uncomfortable as quiznak in her golden yellow dress, Lance quietly proud that no one could see the repair down the right hemming. Being form fitting, it’d torn on the seam line. What no one could see was the double stitching, the thread made from a fibre similar to the silver fibres of his suit. Keith had been flawed his perfect stitches which Lance didn’t like to explain were perfected by stitching himself back up when he needed to wait until he could get high. Covering the inside an ultra thin wound dressing held the delicate fabric together. The boys had decided that five minutes before they were due at the rehearsal dinner they needed to start crying. Sending Mami ahead so she might at least enjoy herself on Coran’s arm for the night, Lance had had plenty of time to work on the dress with the help of Keith, who watched the twins as Lance sat on the bed next to him sewing. His eyes hurt from the strain, but damn if it wasn’t worth it see the wedding party together.

Leaving for their wedding photos on the beach, the guests that weren’t family or in the wedding party made their way into the transformed function room. Despite them not being in the wedding party, Hunk had wanted them at the wedding table. Lance didn’t want to be. Too many people glancing his way would only make him too self conscious to eat. The compromise was a table close to the wedding table, with he and Keith seated in the “corner”. Backs pretty much to the wall, the way Lance liked it. Stopping by their room, they both rehydrated and changed out their sweaty dress shirts. Then it was the usual, checking nappies, feeds, cuddles and a little bit of playtime to soothe Lance’s nerves. Neither of them felt the need to rush when the photos would probably last for next one to two hours, meaning they had plenty of time to recover from how stuffy the chapel had felt towards the end even with the slowly rotating overhead fans. Thankfully the ceremony it’s self had been short, Hunk had said his own vows, started crying, given up, then repeated the more traditional “I do’s” that they’re planned to fall after their own vows. Shay’s vows were as adorably nervous as her now husband’s to begin with. Her voice growing stronger as she thanked Hunk for all he’d shown her and for the life they had planned together. Yeah. Everyone knew he was a sucker for a fairytale ending, Lance literally didn’t think it was possible to be prouder of Hunk and Shay. Keith was as bad as he was about it all. The pair of idiots crying at the wedding as they held hands firmly, a twin nestled in the crook of their elbows. Veronica was disgusted with their tears. Zethrid nearly took his nose off as she shoved a box of tissues between them. Coran’s bottom lip quivered for the whole ceremony, his lips silently repeating the Earth vows as if repeating the line from his favourite movie. Their whole family was filled with idiots, but that was what made it amazing.

Sitting at their table was Veronica, Axca, Zethrid, Ezor, Coran, his Mami, Sam and Colleen Holt, Matt and his partner, Curtis and Shiro, then rounding out the table was Krolia and Korra. Lance’s team had been invited, yet Daehra didn’t want to intrude so Marco decided they’d be there after the end of the formal dinner... basically when the party began and he didn’t have to worry about Mami scolding him for drinking too much. His brother had learned nothing from the buck’s party. Not even two half waxed eye brows could stop the strong idiocy in that one. The first thing his Mami had commented on was the changed shirts and lack of suit jackets. Hunter had spat up down the back of Keith’s shoulder, his husband using the jacket like a towel. Lance had the suspicions that it was to avoid being forced to wear for photographs. It was a shame really, Keith cut impressive figure in his suit, not like him. Lance felt too frumpy to be rocking a suit with the same kind of effect. Damn if Keith’s arse wasn’t amazing in that pair of dress pants, and double damn if that collared shirt and tie didn’t make him want to grab Keith by the tie and never stop kissing him... and triple damn if he husband wasn’t an absolutely clueless D.I.L.F over it all. No, Keith was chatting with Krolia, completely oblivious to how love struck Lance was as he watched on. Korra was already crawling, trying to skip straight into walking. Galra pups certainly developed faster than human children, currently the baby girl was keenly interested in her big brother. As Keith’s ponytail slid from his shoulder, her hands were right there to grab it. She was letting out a babbling laughter, tiny hands firmly pulling so Keith was forced to lean down near her face. Keith didn’t seem to mind. Krolia was untangling her grabby hands as fast she could, Keith laughing as he scolded the little girl and tried not to squash Hunter. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, if you could all please stand as we welcome our former Yellow Paladin, Hunk! And his beautiful bride, Shay!”

Lance swore he jumped 10 feet when the MC’s voice echoed through the function room. He didn’t recognise Kinkade’s voice, and probably wouldn’t if he hadn’t cast a glance to in-front of the wedding table where Ryan had one hand on his camera and the other holding his trusty video camera. Hunk and Shay were both blushing as everyone rose, the loud wolf whistling and clapping upsetting the boys, but their cries were lost as Hunk led Shay through the space. They really did have a hell of a lot of friends. The large round tables filled two third of the space, separated down the middle to make a walkway from the dance floor to wedding table. Even with the clear space, Pidge somehow managed to find a way to trip into Sal as she tried to hide toward the middle of the “pack”. Lance would have face palmed if he didn’t feel bad for her. She might be “terrible at being female”, her own words, but Lance thought her yellow gown actually suited her well. His little grumpy gremlin had grown into a fine young woman. Not a fine young lady. Pidge would punch him in the face in he said that to her. Still, he felt her second hand embarrassment, Ryan was sure to have captured the moment. He was lucky that this was Hunk and Shay’s wedding, or Pidge would have most probably murdered him and his precious camera where he stood.

The cheering remained until Hunk and Shay took their seats, Hunk pulling Shay’s seat back for as Shay fought with the layers of taffeta in her dress. She really did look as if she’d walked out of a fairytale. A picture perfect princess seated at high banquet table, the candles replaced with flickering tea lights. The table cloth crisp white, spaces broken by bouquets of lilies. She was gorgeous, Hunk a handsome mess. They really were perfect for each other, and deserved this picture perfect day. As happy as he was, there was a tinge of jealousy as he sat. This big white wedding was something he’d never have with Keith, and the next time they were at a wedding it’d be Shiro and Curtis’s. If Shiro didn’t hurry up and propose, then Lance was going to have to have lock the pair in an airlock until Shiro finally manned up. He had a great partner in Curtis.

“Everything ok, babe?”

Shifting Laith to his shoulder, Lance took Keith’s offered hand. Rubbing his thumb over the back of it, he smiled softly. He didn’t need a huge wedding like this, not when he had the most amazing man for his husband already. His jealousy could kindly fuck off  
“Yeah. I’m so happy for them. It’s all something out of a fairytale right here”  
“They look happy”  
“Yep... they didn’t even need to get tricked by a little kid”  
“Annla would punch you if she heard you calling her a kid, let alone a “little kid””  
“This is true. She’s growing up too fast...”  
Keith bumped him with his shoulder  
“You feeling old?”  
“Not as old as you. Tell me again, which one of us turns 30 first?”  
Keith snorted his brother’s name   
“Shiro?”  
“I wasn’t aware I was in a relationship with Shiro. Maybe I should ask Curtis? Because they’re kind of a package deal”  
Keith squeezed his hand, before bringing it up to kiss the back of it... And they used to call him the hopeless romantic, he had nothing on Keith   
“Nope. No. You’re mine”  
“I know”

“What are you two whispering about?”  
Forced to sit beside his Mami, she didn’t stop Veronica with her loud mouth from ruining their little moment   
“Oh you know, the usually parenting problems”  
“It didn’t look that way”  
How was it supposed to look? Keith had a grizzly Hunter in the crook of his arm, while Lance had a grizzly Laith on his. They were holding hands, and Keith was being stupidly romantic. She should have expected a sarcastic answer  
“Then you shouldn’t be asking questions. If you want a crying baby, that’s how you’re to get a crying baby”  
“Someone’s snappy. Shouldn’t you be happy for Hunk?”  
Lance desperately wanted to flip Veronica off. Of course he was happy for Hunk   
“Who says I’m not happy? Dah. This is Hunk’s big day...”  
“Then why are you being...”  
“That’s enough, you two. Lance, don’t provoke your sister. Veronica, let Lance and Keith talk”  
Scolded by their Mami, Veronica adjusted her glasses  
“I’m simply trying to figure out why Lance doesn’t look happy, and why he and Keith insisted on whispering”  
“I’m happy! Or I was until you started making a scene. Keith is my husband remember. He’s going to kiss my hand if he feels like it”  
“He looked like he was trying to comfort you”  
“I don’t need to be comforted...?”  
“I’m just saying...”  
“No, you just snooping”  
“Children, that’s enough. There will be no fighting at Hunk and Shay’s wedding”  
“Sorry, Mami. Honestly, Keith and I were just being stupid...”  
“That’s fine, but remember you’re in public. I do wish you’d both worn your jackets. You both look so handsome in your suits”  
“I’m sorry, Mami. Laith spat up. You’re right though, Lance’s does look handsome in his suit”  
Mami relented, she’d never be able to stay mad at Keith. Acxa was now holding Veronica’s hand, whispering in her girlfriend’s ear. If he’d felt like being a dick he would have pointed out they were doing the same thing he’d gotten in trouble for  
“That’s a shame. Still, these things do happen”  
That was clear favouritism. He’d spluttered about it and hadn’t received such an understanding acknowledgment. That was it. From now on, Keith would be on Mami duty. Anything they had to tell her that Lance felt she wouldn’t like, Keith would be the one to tell her. Stupid perfect husbands and their stupid loveable ways.

Veronica’s “snooping” continued through as they started their meal. There was no way Hunk could avoid everything he was allergic too, nor did Lance want his friend to change his menu when he was the only one he knew of with his allergies. Sharing with Keith, Lance ordered the seasonal vegetables and couscous, having to deposit the tomatoes and potatoes on his husband’s plate, Keith sharing part of his beef fillet in return. Not particularly in the mood for meat, he wound up eating very little. Veronica teased him for his picky ways, Lance again wanting to flip her off. The food was delicious, it was just his relationship with food that was still rocky. Between the entree and main, his Mami had a word Veronica over his allergies. With Keith, Keith naturally accepted that it was a thing, it was easy not to feel so self conscious with him as his husband hadn’t complained once about them. Shiro, and Curtis also knew, his “protectors” would have most probably jumped into protect him if his Mami hadn’t. 

The main course felt more relaxed, Lance picking at the chips from his plate of fish and chips as Laith started getting cranky, most probably he was hangry or overstimulated from the reception. Veronica wasn’t being so obnoxious as she and Acxa talked about their plans for the rest of their stay in Hawaii, Mr and Mrs Holt were talking to Krolia over a new farming enterprise that Lance had no clue about. Shiro and Curtis were feeding each other, being complete dorks. Poor Zethrid and Ezor were having Coran explain what it was they were eating... when he wasn’t sure what it was himself, so his Mami was filling in the gaps for the poor confused trio. Despite being at Hunk’s wedding, it was almost a do over for Christmas. His weird little family together, eating way too much, and being way too happy. He liked this feeling, the feeling of family, grateful that he and Keith were on this table in particular and not over with MFE pilots or other Garrison staff. If he could have this for his wedding, he’d never complain again... no, he would, but he’d be so damn proud of the day. Feeling himself tearing up, his emotions were starting to become a mess again. His anxiety had been struggling since Veronica opened her mouth. Being mad at his sister had focused his other senses too much, like the scent of the flowers and perfumes in the air. Keith’s scent starting to feel lost, despite his husband right beside him. Dios. He needed to keep it together. Just a little longer and he’d be able to take a breather.

Nearly half an hour passed before he got the chance for a breather. Laith wanted feeding, and Lance wanted 5 minutes to recenter himself. Taking Hunter from Keith, Lance found Curtis shadowing him from the reception room, so Keith continue talking with his mother. With the hotel booked out for the wedding, Lance opted against walking all the way back to his room, finding a small lounge area not that far from the bathrooms and not that far from the reception room. His mood was enough to keep him from caring as he sank down into one of the over plush lounges, moving Laith down from his shoulder. His boy really wasn’t happy with him  
“I’m sorry, little man. Daddy’s sorry. Give me two ticks and we’ll get you all fed. That yummy food probably smelt waaaay better than milk, but it’s all I’ve got for you. Yes, I know. I know”  
“Do you need some help?”  
“I’m fine, Curtis”  
“Are you? To me it looks like you’ve got a lot on your mind”  
Ugh. Nothing escaped Curtis. Sighing, Lance started getting ready to feed  
“You might as well sit down. You didn’t have to follow me”

Choosing the spot right next to him, Curtis wrapped his arm around his shoulder as he settled Hunter up against his chest so the baby boy was sitting up and supported against him  
“You were kind of quiet at dinner... Is something wrong?”  
“No. No, not really. Just, you know thinking”  
“Is it the wedding? I know you’re not a fan of a lot of people”  
“Kind of... maybe... Not like that. It’s my head being stupid. You of all people know how stupid it can be”  
“That’s twice you’ve said stupid”  
“Then it’s a good thing you can’t see inside my head”  
“Lance, I’m sure it‘s not that bad. And for the record, if you weren’t sitting at a table where everyone knows you so well, you would have kept it hidden”  
Lance let out an unamused chuckle  
“Curse Hunk and his well planned seating chart”  
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me what it is?”  
“I told you...”  
“You’re not being stupid”  
“Really, because I feel pretty damn stupid right about now”  
“I promise I won’t tell Keith”  
“You know, you make it damn hard not to talk”  
Curtis laughed. The man was way too likeable  
“It’s my gift and my curse. I’ve missed talking to you like this, seeing you. As far as room mates went, you were pretty great in that department”  
“I’ve missed you, too. I’m fine, really. It’s just... having a big white wedding was always kind of my dream. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally happy for Hunk and Shay. Shay looked stunning in her dress... but... I guess I realised I don’t even know who’d invited to a big white wedding like this. Keith probably wouldn’t want a wedding like this, I mean, we’re already married as it is... Do you think... he’s really okay with it, with how we got married, I mean? He totally deserves a day like this. He’d be so awkward, but... ugh. See. I told you I’m being stupid”  
Word vomit. Curtis was as bad at drawing it out as Keith was, only this was about his dream, and the reality of what Keith deserve.

Curtis gave him such a weird look, then didn’t follow through for long enough to Lance groan at his own stupidity. He’d gone and broken his friend with his dumbness. Gazing back down to Laith, Lance brushed his thumb over his baby boy’s cheek  
“Are you... what... Shiro told me that Keith was the slow one. Lance, Keith loves you. He loves being married to you. You might have gotten married by accident, but you were happy... and what do you mean you don’t know who’d you’d invite?”  
“I don’t... and I... I don’t want him to miss out on anything. I feel like... like he has a right to a wedding like this. A buck‘s party, the whole works”  
“Look, Shiro told me you spent yesterday putting out fires. With Coran and with Pidge’s dress, Keeping Keith on track. He called Shiro last night. Keith doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on anything, in fact, he pretty much said the same thing to Shiro. He didn’t want you to feel like you were missing out”  
“Ugh! Why does he have to be so considerate?!”  
“Because he loves you”  
Stupid Keith and his stupid mullet. Why couldn’t he just let Lance worry about him for a change and not the other way around   
“He’s an idiot. Besides, the next wedding is totally going to be yours and Shiro’s”  
“That’s if Shiro ever gets around to proposing”  
“He will. Trust me, I know how badly he wants to put a ring on it”  
“He does... semi-regularly”

Lance blinked, shook his head then blinked another half dozen times  
“Curtis!”  
“Sorry! It was the perfect set up”  
“I didn’t need to... I... He’s my space dad!”  
“Ahhh, but you’re not as sad as you were, are you?”  
Kicking Curtis’s leg lightly, the man was a douche. Hugging him tighter, Lance resisted with a shake of his head  
“No, I’m traumatised. And the boys... you can’t say that in front of them!”  
“Happy to help. They’re too young to remember this”  
“That’s beside the point. You’re their god father. Besides, they’re not allowed to date until they’re 40. At a minimum. So they definitely don’t need to know anything like this”  
“Oh, Lance. With your and Keith’s genetics, you’ll be beating off a number of suitors when they’re older”  
Moving his hand up to cover Laith’s ear, Lance didn’t want to hear it. His baby boys weren’t dating. They were his babies and he was going to protect them forever  
“Don’t say that. Can you imagine Keith? He’s going to be there with his blade, basically interrogating all their friends as it is”  
“Like you’re not going to be there with your blaster”  
“Hey, I’ll have you know I don’t even have my blaster on me right now”  
Curtis’s tone carried his rolling eyes without him carrying through the action   
“No, but I’d bet GAC you’ve got at least one blade in your boot”  
“How much GAC?”  
“100”  
Lifting his leg, Lance’s trousers slid up, revealing blue socks and dress shoes  
“You owe me GAC. I’m not wearing boots”  
His Mami wouldn’t let him. Keith seemed as lost in dress shoes as Pidge in high heels, without the tripping though   
“I should have checked before I made the bet... but I still bet you have some kind of weapon on you”  
“Nope. Not in front of the twins”  
Their weapons were in the locked case tucked away at the bottom of Keith’s bag... Where Lance couldn’t get into them if he happened to sleep walk  
“Look at you! Does it feel strange?”  
“A little. I feel better keeping at least one blade on me, but blades are hardly baby safe”  
“This is true. I always knew you and Keith would make great parents”  
“I don’t know about that. Keith’s amazing with them... he wants to be a part of every moment. I’m surprised he hasn’t found us yet”  
“I think Krolia was keeping him entertained”  
“More like Korra. She’s grown up so much since I last saw her. Well, since I can last remember seeing her and that was when I got kicked off Daibazaal”  
“Ah... right. How’s your memory doing now?”  
“Better. Keith was right, as usual, it was mostly the drugs”  
“And the drugs?”  
“I haven’t... fallen back”  
“See. Everything is looking up. And about Keith, I’m sure if he wants a big wedding, he’ll let you know in his own way”  
Lance hummed, not completely sure that was true. Like him, his husband would over think the whole thing  
“Hey, I’m serious. A proposal could be right round the corner for all you know”  
Shaking his head, Curtis was an idiot. What was the point of proposing again when they were already married  
“Yeah, maybe for you”  
“I’d bet GAC on it”  
Lance rolled his eyes  
“Fine. Double or nothing, that you’re next in line to get hitched”  
“That doesn’t count when you’re already married”  
“Fiiiine. Double or nothing that you’re the next one to be proposed to”  
“Deal! Now, is Laith done? Because I haven’t had cuddles with him for far too long”

Hunter spat up in his hair, Lance forced to pass his son over to Curtis so he could freshen up in the bathroom. Walking out said bathroom, he bumped straight into someone solid. His instincts instantly had him going for the blade that wasn’t there  
“I thought I smelt something that stank. Why aren’t you with your precious so called husband?”  
Fucking James. Lance wished he had his blade so he could stab the fucker right in the leg  
“Thanks for the concern, I was just about to return to him. Sorry for bumping into you”  
“So you should be”  
Sidestepping out of Jame’s way, Lance wasn’t about to let him have the last word. Looking the man up and down, James scrunched up his face in annoyance   
“What are you looking at, weirdo?”  
“You know. I was wondering the same thing. Since day one, you’ve hated both me and Keith... but you know, we don’t hate you. If anything, I pity you. One day you’re going to meet someone and fall in love, and then you’re finally going to understand. Nothing you say to me can change the fact that I have a husband who loves me, two amazing sons, and more friends than I know. I’m proud to be married to Keith. So, I wish you luck, James. I truly hope one day you know how it feels not to be a dick”  
James went red, Lance turning and walking away. The MFE pilot was probably as thick as bricks, but Lance hoped that at least some of what he’d said had sunk in. He didn’t have time for James. He just wanted to get back to his boys, and his husband.

Laith had moved to Veronica’s hold, Hunter now in Shiro’s, as Lance rejoined the table. The plate from the mains had been cleared, Keith ordering him a syrup drenched slice of cheesecake for dessert. Smiling as he rejoined his husband, Keith scooched his chair closer  
“Everything alright?”  
“Yeah, babe. Just needed to freshen up after feeding the boys. Funnily enough I bumped into James”  
“James? What did that sh... what did he want?”  
“Nothing. Nothing important at any rate. What did I miss?”  
“Coran got overly excited about cheesecake. He seemed to think it’d be a slab of cheese cut into a cake”  
“You really can’t take him anywhere”  
“Nope. The poor waitress had to explain things to him. He was very confused”  
Lance felt bad for the man. He didn’t know he liked cheese so much he wanted a cake made of it. He’d have to pick him up a whole slew of dairy treats next time he went to Altea... or maybe just one or two at a time. After all, sometimes Coran had a shocking amount of control when it came to things he liked   
“I feel like letting Coran eat too much cheese would bring on some kind of Altean ailment”  
“I can see that. Are you sure you’re ok? I wanted to check on you, but Mami said to let you and Curtis talk”  
“We did. It was nice. He wants Shiro to hurry up and propose. He even made a joke about putting a ring on it, that has still left me traumatised”  
Keith pulled a face  
“I don’t need to think about that. He’s my brother”  
“If I’m stuck thinking about it, you might as well be too”  
“Babe... nooo. It was bad enough over hearing them”  
“I know right!”  
Keith slumped back in his chair, Lance cocking his head as he stared at his husband. There was no way Keith would propose to him again, not before Shiro proposed to Curtis. But this was alright. It wasn’t their wedding day, but they were celebrating Hunk’s. The magic wasn’t any lesser. Keith still got to experience the magic of a big white wedding. His husband would be a quiznak of a lot closer next time they were at a wedding. There was no way he wouldn’t be Shiro’s best man. Maybe his husband wasn’t missing out on as much as he thought he was? He certainly didn’t look like was. The smile on his lips was relaxed, unguarded, his eyes sparkling with warmth as he mirrored Lance’s cocked head  
“What?”  
“You. You know you’re really pretty”  
“Nah, you are. I love you”  
Lance leaned in, pressing a small kiss to his husband’s sweet lips  
“I love you, too”

“That’s enough you two. Save it for after the wedding reception”  
Finally. Finally Lance flipped Veronica off, kissing Keith again to annoy her further. She already had her hands full of unhappy twin, annoying them was only asking for added trouble  
“Not in front of my nephews!”  
“Come on, V. You don’t need to be annoying. I’m allowed to miss my husband”  
“You were only gone for the last half hour”  
“And I felt every second of it. How about you, babe? Did you miss me?”  
“Every single second”  
Veronica poked her tongue out  
“You two are so gross. You know that, right?”  
“Yep. Now, if you’re done torturing my son, do you want me to take him back?”  
“No. You’ve barely eaten all night. Eat your dessert. I’ve got time to make up for with my nephew. He needs to know who his favourite Aunty is”  
“Rachel. Obviously. But you’ve also got competition from Pidge... and Acxa... and Zethrid and Ezor...”  
“Oh shut up. I’m the much better choice”  
“You’re not when you’re swearing at his daddy. Oh! And I forgot Dae! It won’t be long until she’s married into the family... Marco might be an idiot, but he lucked out with her”  
“Face it, babe. We’re just grateful she’s not as focused on us”  
Lance chuckled  
“This is true. So other than Veronica being Veronica, did I miss anything?”  
Coran cleared his throat, clearly still distressed   
“Your cheesecake is not cheese”  
Bringing the table to laughter, Lance shook his head. The poor man... someone really should have explained cream cheese to him  
“No, but it has cheese in it”  
“I saw no cheese”  
“You know what, I’m going to have to teach you all about this, aren’t I?”  
Coran perked up, stroking the edge tip of his moustache as he did  
“You will? I never imagined Hunk lying to me like this...”  
“Wait until you learn that cheese comes from milk. And the milk comes from a cow like Kaltenecker”  
Slamming his free hand down, Coran leaned in  
“We could have had your cheese on the castle!?”  
“There’s... ah... a process. But don’t worry, I’ll explain it all to you”  
“Now?”  
Explaining cheese wasn’t how Lance planned to spend his time at Hunk’s wedding. His Mami saving him  
“Not right now. How about you come down to the farm with us? You’ll get a much better idea if you can see the process”  
His family didn’t make cheese, but they did know a few people who did. It meant taking an extra day on Earth, yet he couldn’t deny Coran   
“Oh, Miriam. Thank you, my dear. I would love to see this process of yours. You humans are quite the creative lot, aren’t you?”  
“We try. Now eat your dessert, Mijo. Keith agonised over what to choose for you”  
Keith sighed heavily, playing along  
“Yes. It was... a nightmare. I should never be left alone to make choices again. Mango and passion fruit cheesecake, or panna cotta with berries, the choice... impossible”  
Patting Keith’s back, Lance soothed his husband   
“I know. I know it must have been so hard. I’m here now. It’s all ok”  
Catching each other’s eyes, the both ducked their heads as they laughed. Veronica mumbling in the background over their immaturity.

When dessert was done, the speeches began. Smart enough to let Pidge out of the duty, Rax was somewhat scary with the nice things he had to say about Hunk. Shiro was called up to give a speech, taking the twin he’d been holding with him, as if it was something perfectly normal. Coran also have a speech, crying his eyes out over how proud he was, until he had to be led out the spotlight by Hunk. The last two speeches were given by Shay, then Hunk, both thanking them for coming and sharing their special day with them... before he loudly announced it was cake time and passed his microphone back to Ryan.

When the wedding cake was wheeled out it drew gasps from every single person attending. Hunk and Shay had to be behind the tall 7 tiered cake. Half was decorated to resemble the surface of Shay’s Balmera, the other side frosted white with lace work and edible yellow and white chocolate flowers. Standing with the rest of the crowd, Lance clapped on as Hunk cut the first slice on the Balmera side, passing it to Shay before cutting a slice for himself. Linking arms, they fed each other the first bites, laughing when Shay accidentally stabbed Hunk in the lip with her loaded fork. As their half finished plated were taken by the wait staff, the cake was wheeled away to be cut as the first dance was announced. Sitting back down, Lance was all smiles for his friends. The first dance for the new couple going smoothly, the newlyweds dancing slowly, sharing soft kisses as Hunk told Shay over and over how much he loved her. With her formal duties over, he and Keith soon had the issue of a tipsy Pidge. Having lost her high heels, Pidge draped herself over the pair of them. Her champagne glass smacking Keith in the nose as she greeted them with her traditional “‘sup losers”. As Lance wasn’t drinking, Keith had chosen not to also. Lance would have been fine with it, as Keith was generally a loud and happy drunk. He still held hopes his husband would loosen up once the twins went down for the night. Pulling Pidge into his lap didn’t take much coaxing. Pidge happy to wolf whistle at Hunk and Shay, cheering possibly the loudest as the first dance came to an end. 

Flopping back against him, Pidge sighed loudly at her empty glass. Taking the glass from his friend, Pidge smiled up at him  
“I love you guys. You totally saved me! Shay would have literally murdered me if she knew I ripped my dress!”  
“We love you too, Pidgeon. It didn’t feel uncomfortable where I fixed it, did it?”  
Pidge plucked at the top of her dress. Lance seeing waaaaay to much down there. It didn’t matter if it was the top of his friends boobs, he didn’t need to see it. His face burnt as he looked away with a cough   
“No more than the rest of it. I seriously thought I was done for”  
“I had the feeling you would. Besides, I totally owed you for the emergency pick up”  
“Damn right you did. Shiro tried to murder me with a lamp! How would that have looked?! Here lays “Pidge” murdered because Shiro was allowed access to a lamp. Laaaaaame”  
From his end of the table, Shiro supplied  
“In my defence, Lance wasn’t doing great and we had no idea you were coming”  
Releasing her dress, Pidge waved in Shiro’s direction  
“But a lamp?! Who’s bright idea was that?!”  
Cackling, Pidge thought herself exceptionally smart with the pun. Lance the only one to laugh as the others groaned  
“At least you appreciate good humour”  
“Yep. You’re hilarious, Gremlin. How much have you had to drink?”  
“Enough to make my feet stop hurting”  
“No more for you then”  
“You’re not my real mum! Keith, Keeeeeeeith, Keeeeeeeef! Your husband is being mean!”  
Keith wasn’t about to stop a drunk Pidge. Not when he could use this against her at a later date   
“I’m sure he’s not”  
“He issss. You should take him to daaaaaance!”  
Lance sighed. That wasn’t happening. He wasn’t even going to ask. He didn’t want Keith to feel pressured to do something he wouldn’t like too   
“Pidge, you know Keith doesn’t dance”  
“You danced on tour”  
“So? That’s because he had to. You know Keith doesn’t like dancing. I’d have more chance getting you to dance with me?”  
Pidge shook her head, one hand going up to gesture a waiter over for another glass of champagne   
“Nope! I am done! My duties are done! You can’t make me dance! That was not in the contract. Keith on the other hand got out of being up there! Guuuuuys, Oh my goooooooooood, they took soooooo many photos”  
Lance intercepted the glass coming Pidge’s way. It was for her own good. Letting her drink too much would only end badly  
“Poor, you. It’s the end of the world, Pidge”  
“Oi! That’s my drink! Keith, take your damn husband and go dance already!”  
Kicking Keith’s knee, Pidge was now pushing his buttons. Keith had done nothing, and Pidge hadn’t been light in her kick. Passing the drink over his head, his Mami took it for him  
“Pidge, you need to slow down. Don’t make me tell your real mother on you”  
“You wouldn’t!”  
“She’s sitting right across the table”  
Pidge managed to look horrified as she turned to look at her parents. Colleen looked thoroughly unimpressed, the bridge of her nose pinched as she hung her head. Waving at her mother, Pidge started sliding off his lap. Hiking her back up, Lance sighed  
“Matt, come get your drunk sister”  
“I’m not drunk, I’m happy! Hunk got married! Our Hunk! Remember how many times he tried to tell us he was just friends with her. Friends my left foot!”  
Propping Pidge back up, Lance put on his best “bored” tone  
“Yes, Pidge. You were right. Hunk has liked Shay since he met her. Now, Matt is going to take you to get something else to drink”  
“You two are such party poopers...”  
“When you have twins, I’ll say the exact same thing to you. Now, go with your brother”  
“Fiiine. But Keith, dance with Laaaance. Lance likes dancing. Be good to your husband, he fixed my dress”  
Patting her knee, Keith settled the wild Pidge with a lie  
“Alright, Pidge. I’ll dance with Lance. You go sober up”  
Pidge blew a raspberry, letting herself be pulled up by Matt, who mouthed an apology at him as Pidge started complaining to her brother about her feet.

Waiting until Pidge was out of earshot, Lance shifted so he was facing the table again. Her abandoned drink was temptingly close, her scent clinging to him enough to be annoying. It was so much funner to be the drunk one instead of the one taking care of the drunk  
“Lance, I’m so sorry. Keith, are okay? That kick didn’t look too gentle”  
Keith smiled at Colleen, his hand coming to rest on Lance’s thigh   
“It’s fine, Colleen. We all know she loves to party”  
“Yes, well, I hoped she’d be better behaved given this is Hunk’s wedding”  
“At least she hasn’t thrown up yet?”  
Offering the reply with a shrug, Lance copped a scowl from Colleen. Colleen had to be thinking back to Hunk and Shay’s engagement party. Lance certainly was as he nominated Matt to deal with her. Seeing he’d stayed long enough for it be polite, Lance supposed it was time to put the boys to bed... then himself, that way Keith could sleep in, leaving him the morning shift as he recovered  
“Well...”  
“Hey...”  
Speaking over each other, the pair gave each other confused looks  
“What were you going to say?”  
“No, what were you going to say?”  
Raising an eyebrow at his husband, Lance didn’t see why he had to go first   
“I was going to say it’s probably time to put the boys to bed. I’m happy to stay with them while you have some fun tonight”  
Frowning at him, Keith seemed even more confused  
“You want to go to bed?”  
“I don’t see why not?”  
“I was going to ask you to dance”  
Lance laughed too hard before realising Keith wasn’t kidding. His heart giving a weird beat. No way did his husband actually want to dance?! Surely he had to be asking because Pidge had bullied him into it   
“Babe, no. You don’t have to dance with me”  
“I know I don’t have to... but... I was going to ask you... before Pidge... We don’t have to dance if you don’t want to... I thought... you might like to”  
Dios! Dios... oh dios, su esposo realmente quería bailar con él...   
Shoving his shoulder from lightly behind, Lance was pulled out of his husband induced shock  
“You... actually want to dance with me?”  
“That’s what why I asked... I thought it’d be nice. But we can take the boys to bed...”  
“Keith, Mijo, ignore my idiot son. He would love to dance with you. Mijo, answer your husband properly”  
Dios... He was blushing. He was blushing like crazy and his heart was thumping...  
“Uh. Uh... yeah. I mean yes. I’d love to dance with you”  
“Now?”  
“Yeah. Yep. Ok. Cool... now is good”

Led over to the dance area, Lance had to concentrate on not tripping. Keith was dancing with him. He wanted to dance with him. They were dancing... in front of people. The closest thing they’d done to dancing... was... when he was in labour? And now... oh, Lord  
“Babe, are you ok?”  
Reaching the dance floor, Keith stepped to take his hand. Shaking his head to shake out his stupid, Lance got it together  
“Put your hands on my hips, and I’ll sling my arms over your shoulders”  
Anything fancy was likely to confuse Keith   
“I’m not that much of an amateur”  
“I know, but slow dancing is nice”  
“Isn’t that what people do at high school dances?”  
Keith was killing him. Taking his hand from his husband’s, Lance slung his arms over Keith’s shoulder, his husband forced to take the “hint”. Settling into the hold, they slowly started to move, Lance knowing he was smiling stupidly. He’d so wanted to be asked, and Keith... he didn’t care if Keith had used a little white lie to hide his embarrassment over having not actually planned to ask him. Drinking in his husband’s features, he snorted at the few strands of hair sticking out from just above Keith’s left ear  
“What?”  
“You’ve got vomit in your hair”  
Keith snorted as he gave a jerk of his chin  
“So do you”  
“You’d think with how hungry our boys usually are, they wouldn’t waste a drop”  
“Nope...”  
Catching Keith still staring, Lance feels his cheeks burn even brighter, tinges of blue glow at the edge of his vision, his marks must be as blue as his face is red. He didn’t want Keith to get the wrong idea, but this staring thing is starting to making him a little uncomfortable   
“What?”  
“Just thinking about how beautiful you are”  
Lance moved his hand to shove Keith playfully, before moving it back up to rest on his husband’s shoulder  
“You had me worried!”  
“I’m sorry”  
“So you should be, you douche. And I’m not beautiful, I’m not sure I can be with baby vomit still in my hair”  
“I think you’re beautiful”  
Lance blushed harder, he didn’t deserve Keith’s praised. Mumbling, he tried to shift focus  
“You’re the beautiful one. Look at you. In this suit, with your hair all pulled back. Looking at me with those eyes of yours...”  
“Nah”  
“Yeah...”  
Keith put on a terrible southern drawl accent  
“I’d say you’re the prettiest boy in the room”  
Bursting into laughter, Lance dropped his head to rest on his hand  
“Oh, babe! Please don’t ever do that again!”  
“Y’all not a fan of my accent”

Laughing to the point of wheezing, Lance used his free hand to fan his face  
“Babe... nooo... I can’t breathe”  
“I can’t help it. I love listening to you laughing. You get the funniest expressions. You scrunch you’re brow up, and your eyes get this almost glow about them. I know it’s pretty biased, but you’re beautiful. I couldn’t picture spending my life with anyone other than you”  
Lance much preferred Keith’s normal voice. His husband could read the heck out of the most complicated and boring engineering manual and Lance would listen to every damn word of it   
“And that’s why you’re trying to kill me?”  
“I’m not trying to kill you. I just... Dios... you have no idea how special you are. You’re loud and impulsive. You always go the extra mile for the people you care about. You always try to do the right thing, and you’re frustratingly smart. You’re handsome as quiznak, and you... You love me so much I don’t know how to... You didn’t have to listen to me. You could have... What I’m trying to say is... Thank you for loving me back”

Keith’s words quickly sobered Lance’s laugher. Raising his face, he stared up into his partners eyes. Keith kissing his forehead, pulling him closer to him as he wrapped his arms loosely around his waist   
“I love you, Keith. I’m... I’m the lucky one. You... gave me back... all of this. I didn’t think I could love again. I thought that... I thought... that I couldn’t be with someone. That no one would actually... want me. Or someone like me. Loving you... Loving you makes me so proud. You’re the one who’s smart. You’re the one who’s funny. You’re the one who’s frustratingly handsome. You and our sons are my pride and joy. When I’m with you... I feel unstoppable”  
“Babe... Nothing that happened, none of that... that wasn’t your fault. Never, ever, was that your fault. I love you... and I kind of... I kind of want to ask you something”  
Sudden questions were a sure fire was to send the happiness blooming running for the hills. He physically felt as if he’d been doused in cold water, especially when Keith pulled away from him  
“Keith?”  
“You probably don’t remember, due to the medication in your system, but... Lance, I have... I want...”

Lance was sure he was about to have a heart attack as Keith’s hand dipped into his pocket as he bent his right knee to kneel. Holding out the red ring box, with shaking hands, Keith popped the top. Lance forgetting how to breathe at the sight of the slim gold band inside  
“I know we’re already married, but I made you a promise. I promised you that you’d have that big white wedding of your dreams. I promised I’d propose to you, properly. So, Lance, the other half of my idiot. My accidentally husband. My right hand man, and the only man I want to spend the rest of my life with, will you marry me?”  
“I... but... huh... this is Hunk’s wedding...?”  
Keith snorted, his courage to pop the question spurring him on  
“I already asked. We don’t often get together like this. I wanted everyone to see you say yes... which you’re going to saaaaaay...?”  
Everyone was staring... at him... and Keith was... Swallowing hard, Lance started nodding. His left hand going to Keith’s face as he sank down to kiss him. Quiznak. He was smiling and crying like there was no tomorrow. How was it possible to be this fucking happy?  
“Y-yes... Yes... YES!”  
Throwing himself on his husband, Keith fell backwards on to his arse, laughing as Lance nuzzled into his face. Around them people were clapping, some laughing and some groaning at his actions  
“Babe... the ring...”  
Right! He forgot about that bit! He’d seen the gold and kind of... blanked. Forcing himself back, Lance’s left hand shook like crazy as he held it out, his right hand clamped around his wrist, trying to steady himself. Removing the ring from the box, Keith nearly couldn’t slide it onto his finger with how badly coordinated they were. For a sharp shooter and a samurai, their hands hadn’t shaken like this since long before they’d become Paladins. Finally getting the gold band onto his finger and slipped into place, they both laughed in relief, Lance raising his hand to stare at the band  
“I know... what that life means to you. I thought maybe a ruby or sapphire, and I know that amethysts aren’t seen as precious gems in comparison...”  
Set in the top of the band were two diamonds and three small amethysts, though not quite earth amethyst as each jewel shone with the same hues as his husband’s. Each tiny amethyst was a small galaxy, his love for Keith’s eyes the reason he’d chosen those particular stones. The gold band a reminder of Annla’s golden hair clips. As for the diamonds, you couldn’t go wrong with diamonds  
“Keith, just shut up and kiss me”

His ring glinted in the light of the camera flashes as Lance took Keith’s face in his hands. His husband laughing as he kissed him, nuzzling into his face. Yeah. Both of them were a complete mess, yet at that moment, Lance had never been more sure that anyone could ever have loved someone as much as he loved Keith. They had their whole lives together, and it seemed Curtis was not only 200 GAC richer, but right that the next big white wedding was to be theirs. Speaking lip to lip, their words a promise whispered into each other’s mouths  
“Lance and Keith...”  
“Neck and Neck”  
“Always, and forever”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... here we are guys... I always felt like Caramel was really Keith’s love story. That why I wanted to end it on Lance’s POV.
> 
> Now!  
Don’t fret. I do have a prt 4 planned, which will be an epilogue. At this stage it’s a little bit past a year after this... I also thought that Hunk’s wedding was kind of appropriate seeing what happened at Hunk and Shay’s engagement party.  
I’m going to be crying when this series actually ends. Curtis is best bro... best best bro... ok, I really loved hashing out his character and I’m going to miss him... though he is in prt4!
> 
> I want to sincerely thank every single one of you who commented, read, and even made it this far in the series. You’ll never know just how grateful I am. 
> 
> Also, tiny shameless plug, I will be writing my in-fiction fic once the epilogue is done. I was going to name it Blood Heat, but now I’m thinking Red Heat and something whitty about Black... it’s a Pike/Thunderstorm Darkspire AU, where Lance has an omega drop.
> 
> Anyway, I love you  
💚💚💚💚


End file.
